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sqzee New Member 
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Ok here goes. After having lost 12kg I feel I am kind of in a rut. I have been slacking lately and with a long summer break coming up (I am not the best dieter in weekends and holidays) I feel that maybe a public diary would help. It is at least worth a try  A bit on me: I'm Sara 15 years old and I live in Dar es Salaam (Tanzania) with my mother who is stationed here as work. My mother is danish and my father is tunesien but he lives in Denmark. I am born in the US and I lived there from age 5-10. I started my weightloss in december because the weight shocked me and I knew that I was unhealthy. I changed som meals and educated myself on calories. After getting calories straight I have slowly started to concentrate on the health part as well. No need for anymore boring details I guess  Over and out. |
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sqzee New Member
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Ok so first post. I've done ok so far with calories but I need to not snack today. I also need to exercise even though I won't. I would if I were with a friend or in Denmark but I just don't like going running here, people say hello and it's hot and dusty, and you get funny looks. I know there are other ways to exercise but not many are available to me right now. Food: 2bananas 5-10 cashews 4 gummibears 1 apple 1 carrot 1 banana 1 homebaked bread-roll with some Flora butter And that's it. I did actually pass on a brownie in class, I would normally have said yes but I have not been doing to well lately and it was a pretty big brownie. I'm also having problems with my scale, I am not sure it is too accurate... It's doing some funny stuff. I get on it it reads something, I get of brush my teeth and get on it again, and suddenly I've gained 300g. My plan for today is to not snack. Keep myself busy. And enjoy my free time since school is almost up. For tomorrow is nothing really. I am going to a friend's house, then to a party, then sleeping over and birthday party for her the day after. So alcohol and cake, just what I needed when everything is uphill anyway!  Nah I'm ok. It's unlucky but I am happy to be social. I am not however throwing it all out of the window and I will control the food I eat when it is possible - so breakfast to lunch should be good tomorrow and from then it will be other peoples cooking until saturday afternoon. |
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sqzee New Member
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1 Apple One quarter of a pack of sugarfree Polos eggcake for dinner (egg, milk, butternut, broccoli, tomat, zuchini) A bite of bacon 2 cookies Last edited on 4 June 2009 05:21 pm by sqzee |
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sqzee New Member
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Wow... unhealthy beyond unhealthy. But I did get exercise, running, dancing and swimming. I am trying to convince myself of going running later today, but I am more tired than I have been in several months. I will tomorrow though, I have to. |
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sqzee New Member
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Yah! I DID actually go running yesterday, and wasn't half bad. I hope I can keep my motivation up to go running again today. We went to dinner yesterday so I ate dessert, which is a bit unlucky but I am 63kg today. I want it to show less tomorrow though. I've been maintaining this weight for like 3 weeks. Somethings gotta happen! All I've eaten today is pineapple. Like 300g. But I ate at 11 since I woke up late for once. So I'll eat lunch at least efter 1. |
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sqzee New Member
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Woohoo! Boojaaa! GOGO! I went running. I can't believe I mustered up enough energy for that. Pretty good if I must say so myself. Exercise is one of my biggest weaknesses, doing it alone is just not fun for me. And even though I shouldn't I feel embarassed. So I've eaten, besides the pineapple: 2 pieces of chocolate 1 cookie 1 banana Some cashews Tomato soup and lots of it! With cheese Half a roll of Polo's And that's it. No its not much but I have not felt like eating. For the first time in like forever! Maybe I will make up for it towards the evening. I've just been thinking about so many other things, food almost hasn't crossed my mind, not to the same extent it would normally. It's refreshing. Tomorrow I have a prom type dinner thing though and I don't know what we are eating, but its a buffet so I SHOULD be ok. I might go running before, that would be best, again the motivation though  |
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sqzee New Member
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So, it seems I have lost a little weight. Which is the right way to go of course. I have been running every day since friday and today it seems my knee wants a break. I did well running but when I stopped my knee was quite painful, especially walking up the 5 flights of stairs to my apartment. I wasn't going to go, but I had eaten a doughnut and some Danish candy so somehow I flew out of the apartment and onto the dusty roads. 1 apple 1½ bananas 1 ricecake 1 apple 1 doughnut 1 carrot 2 ricecakes 2 pieces of ham some Flora butter Danish candy Rice with thai take-out (delicious, and I don't think it was prepared badly, it seemed calorie-light) And lots of water There's a party on thursday and then I will go to a friends house so its a bit iffy with food and alcohol. Although I honestly think the dancing will make up for the alcohol, its happened before that way at least. I want the 60... Really want them. I would love if it was before going to Denmark. But it will be hard since school is out in two days. Breaks and holidays are not good for my waistline! |
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artistjohn Distinguished Member 
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Sqzee Haven't got you down for a visit to weight loss challenge for a while. How is it going? or  Artist John |
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sqzee New Member
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I just wrote yesterday! Yes I know I hadn't checked in, but now its done and I think I will have a weigh in for friday as well. Its going  , but lets see fridayNot too great a day today though. I will not be running because of my knee, so I can run tomorrow. Also it has been the last full day of school so I have had cupcakes and brownies and stuff I should not have! 100g pineapple 2 ricecakes with Flora 1 apple 1 banana 2 small hard candies Sugar free polos 1 cupcake 1 brownie popcorn handfull of casava chips (like chips, but it only said salt and casava as ingredients, so hopefully no oil) 1 carrot I have to skip lunch. I am not hungry so it should be ok, but since I've used calories already and I am not exercising I need to skip. Tomorrow I will run, and then off to a friends house and party. Hopefully no midnight snacks and no hangover munchies. I have found a kind of diet buddy in real life. My good friend Megan is also on a diet, and she has lost 7kg! Good for her! She is doing it a more traditionel way, just healthy eating and exercise but no real caloriecounting. I think I am a bit more unhealthy than she is But it is nice with the solidarity - we share a cookie, or whatever if we are served and we say no if we don't want the sweets, and we talk about it, about running about if it is going well or not. Its good with the inspiration and motivation. |
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sqzee New Member
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I've gained a little after being out of the house for two days and partying for one of the days. But I'm trying to get right back at it. I have spent the whole day in my bed today and woke up late. Thai rice, chicken and vegetable mix 3 carrots 1 apple 1 packet of sugar free Polos Cashews (tooo many) Orange chocolate 2 mini snickers Half of a biscuit And I haven't had dinner yet, which is tomato soup yah! Can't wait. My knee still hurts and I really have to rest it so there will be no exercise which suchs since it became such a good routine. I started enjoying the runs by the exact day my knee started hurting. I also need to cut back on the sweets. It's simply not good for my body. |
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sqzee New Member
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So I lost weight for today. I'm very happy with that. Today I will go for a walk with my friend and her dog, so that's a little bit of exercise. I will stay under my calories of course. And then it should be downhill from there shouldn't it? 60kg here we come. I will be so goodlooking when I start in IB next year. Now we are out of our uniform and in our own clothes. For once I will be the hot one. Well hotter at least I will look into some exercise equipment when I go to Denmark. And also some new running shoes. I really hope my knee gets better soon so I can run again. I am looking forward to going back, 10 days yeah! New clothes, shoes, cd's, my friends, my family, cool weather. There is nothing like it. Imagine what size I am? I don't even know. And my bra-size? Hopefully much smaller! I might even be almost the same size as my friends. But I do wish I could be at 55 now so I could by new clothes for the last time, there really aren't many opions in Tanzania. But I will focus on the 60 for now. |
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sqzee New Member
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SO. Yesterday was good! But then it turned bad. And it continued this morning but now I think I have it under control. I have also done exercise today, so that is very positive, but I gained for today so... Its up and down. 3 small bananas 1 apple 3 breadsticks cashews chocolate liquorice (I can't spell that) Rice and tomato Green iced tea 2 small bananas 1 apple 1 breadstick I am looking into getting a gym membership but it is very expensive. I also want to start strength training, but I REALLY hate strength training, and any exercise at all! It's just not enjoyable to me. Well volleyball is, but anything else is really not. My knee was ok today, but the exercise did strain a little. If I make it on the ISSEA team (which I actually think I will) then I will be doing volleyball many times a week, so that is perfect, but I still want to continue running. I actually truely just want to be very very hot! How vain is that? It doesn't change how I feel though, I want guys to drool. I want people to notice when I start in IB next year. I want the flat stomach and the tight muscles! So I will keep working at it. We'll see if I ever get there |
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sqzee New Member
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So I was down this morgning! So happy! But I tried to make low-cal chocolate cake and I think I ate to much, my stomach is not feeling well. And the cake wasn't even good, but maybe when it cools it will stick together more. I don't know how I will make this day a loosing day. I was planning on skipping lunch, but now I already had cake and carrots, so that's my lunch I think. And I am going to a small party so I hope don't eat much there. I dunno, today feels doomed. And I can't exercise. Eeek... I'm annoyed. I'm tired of food! I want to fast  |
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sqzee New Member
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Ugh I am an idiot. I went way overboard with chips, popcorn, juice, sweets, ice cream and pizza. Bdr. Really not good, not at all. Why though? Why? Do I have no willpower? Or do I trick myself into thinking it is ok? It is really not because it screwed up all my plans, and I felt sick, AND I can't have dinner now either and all that. HOW was it even worth it? What was I thinking? Argh... well now I know, I hope I learn though. And don't gain, I really would like to NOT gain, please oh please that I at least have not gone over calories burned for today. |
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sqzee New Member
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So I was actually down today. 100g. But my scale was having a mental breakdown or something, I was from 62,3 to 62,6kg, so I am optimistic and am holding on the .3 Anyway I had to go to the bathroom after breakfast so I think .3 is near the mark. No exercise today, I am resting the knee. But I will go and experiment in the kitchen because I am inspired by recipies. I did try a low calorie chocolate cake, it was somewhere near disaster, allthough it does taste much better today after having been cooled, it also sticks together instead of being mush like when I first took it out of the oven!  |
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sqzee New Member
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I have to stop eating. NOW. Get my butt of this sofa, take a shower and do something today. |
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sqzee New Member
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Wow, I did what I said. I got off my butt, stop eating took a shower and went to a friends house. And I did a little time in the gym at her place, so it was ok. Spanish Rice 1 apple 1 banana Polos Chocolate Gummy bears 1 biscuit Cashews Carrots... at least 3 1 apple egg-cake 1 apple 2 breadsticks 1 Diet Cherry Coke I am pretty certain I have eaten more but I can't remember. I am really in love with the Diet Cherry Cokes. I know it is a bad habit I have started, since I have never been a soda drinker. But these are sooo good, and 0 kcals. 0. 0!!!! 0000000!!! Can something soooo good cost absolutly nothing? Apparently. But it does have caffiene and is not very healthy. And it makes me burp. So I've limited it to 1 a day. That should be ok. I think I will go for a run tomorrow, hopefully my knee will be ok. Hopefully I will be ok. My scale is doing weird things and I am from 62,2-62,8kg. Which really sucks when you are trying to monitor your weight. It changes everytime I get on it. ARGH. I really need to know what I weigh. Geez. |
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sqzee New Member
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I just realized how slow I am loosing. Its been like 1 kg in 1 month... That is depressing. But I get it, looking at what I ate yesterday. Not that it added up to more than 2000kcal but I guess I have to not have sweets and exercise to lose anything at all. I will really do my best today. I just had Rice Krispies for breakfast, I have been craving them for a long time so that's why I chose it, then I will have one snack. Then lunch. Then one snack. Then dinner, then one snack and one sweet thing. Let's see if I can try and stick to that. |
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sqzee New Member
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I went for a run but my knee hurts now, and I didn't run as far as I would have liked. Bowl of Rice Krispies + Milk Cashews 1 small banana (40g) Casava chips So this is before lunch. I'm still not sure what I will have for lunch so we will see. I wonder what that totals to though? Like 4-500cals? Geez no wonder I am not loosing... Its still only morning. I was 62,5 this morning. I don't know where the 62,3 dissapeared to so I hope I am back there soon. I want under 62 very soon. Last edited on 20 June 2009 01:39 pm by sqzee |
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sqzee New Member
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Ah the ironi. I was up 300g... What the *insert any really crude word here*!?!?ARGH. My scale is wrong, it is fluctiations or someone is playing a joke on me. It cannot be actual fat... Please let it not be actual fat. Things aren't going well. Just in general. I feel really unpopular, which is such a juvenile stupid thing, but in the end you can't really change what you feel, although you can try to change your mindset. Facebook gets me down. It is really absurd. I am so curious, and yet it hurts me everytime what people write and what I am NOT a part of. At the same time I need facebook to keep in contact with friends that live in other countries. And I am obsessing about food, and thinking about it too often, because I have summer break but I am doing nothing. I have nothing to do that I am inspired to do. And I don't know what to do about it. The good thing is that I am off to Denmark in 2 days. There I will be stressed with all the things I need to do, and I will miss it even more when we go back to TZ. So not positive either. I don't know, I really don't know, nothing seems to make me happy or content more then 10min at a time. I am not inspired to do anything more than 10min at a time. But the food. This is why I went on here. My food plans, eaten today: Banana and pineapple 400g? 300g? 1 breadstick some water So that is alright, but it is only 11, and we will be having a guest for dinner so that is 3-course... But it should be ok. Soup, lasagne, and small chocolate desserts. I might have pineapple for lunch, it was very nice and sweet this morning so that's good. I really don't know about my plan to loose. I am running in circles. I loose a little, I gain a little, and basically stay the same. I want to see the scale go  . Geez if I ever make it to 6okg let alone 55, I will do summersolts in the air. I can't even make it to 62... |
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sqzee New Member
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These are just out loud thoughts. Don't take them too seriously. I was thinking I should stop dieting and relax about food. Try to at least. I was also thinking that maybe I need very big meals 3 times a day so I don't snack in between. I was also thinking that maybe this is just a stupid fase where I don't loose and that I should just pull through. I was also thinking that maybe I am counting wrong. Or not getting enough exercise. I am a bit scared of this 'give up' thing I have going in my head... Is this where people let go and gain back whatever they lost? Maybe when I get to Denmark and have things to do I will naturally not think about food as much and eat less. |
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sqzee New Member
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Ok, so for the mini-meltdown. I am definately feeling better about food today. I didn't get up and eat breakfast right away, which I definately think helped, and I woke up late and had no plans to go anywhere today, so I didn't need breakfast right away. The only thing that worries me a little is the kick-start that your metabolism needs in the morning? I haven't thought that much about food today, so I am tempting fate a little by logging on here But I should be able to handle it. And its almost dinnertime with lovely healthy lasagne. Mmmm. And the leftover chocolate dessert I made the other day. Tomorrow I fly to Denmark, so its my own breakfast and then airplane food. And then HOME HOME HOME! I am so excited and at the same time upset because I know how much I will miss it when we come back. And my friends have such limited time, as do I! There really is no best of both worlds. Once you have left the country, its out the window. I do not have plans to live in Denmark all my life, but I will still always miss it. It might be something different if I wasn't living in Tanza though, like London, Paris or New York. I have nothing against Dar, but I am a city girl. And EMDC' (economically more developed countries) are easier to live in, and hold many benefits. Tarmacked roads for example Dar is also so far away, if I was living somewhere else in Europe it would be different. |
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sqzee New Member
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I am now in Denmark! I have been relaxed about food for a bit so now I think it is time to put some elbow grease into it. I want a genuinely healthy day tomorrow. A day where I feel IN CONTROL. I am meeting friends tomorrow, and I think I might have a cup of hot chocolate at Baresso, but if they have something less calories I might just take it. They might have tea? We don't have much food in the house (apartment) but my mother will shop tomorrow. I have spotted a yogurt in the fridge and I think that will be my breakfast. 100kcal for 100ml and there are 250 so that's easy math. I will also walk to meet my friends. Its like 1km (1.6miles/15min) walking. So walking is good. And we will go for some shopping and things. So more walking. But we might go to the beach tomorrow night and there is alcohol, but I am reconsidering it because of the calories, but mostly because of the health thing, and I am trying not to put stuff in my body that could trigger any mindless eating. I will see, because I am trying to get back on track. So goals: 1 yogurt for breakfast only Walk instead of taking the bus Either make lunch and dinner that is mostly veggies (or fruit) or find some good healthy food Don't let trigger foods get into your body! (this is a theory I am testing, lately food has been leading to more food, I eat a meal, but then I continuesly snack until the next one?) Not good, done with that. We want back on the healthy track. Carefully consider if the alcohol is worth it Food for thought: What do vegans eat on planes? Recently veganism and vegeterianism has triggered my interest and on the plane(s) I noticed what little options they would have. A veggie would do ok, there was one meal where there was a omletet with sausage or chicken, and that wasn't the best, but the other meals there was a vegetarian option. Vegans though would have to live off 5 pieces of fruit. In total. That would suck! Sorry, being a teenage here I could probably never go vegeterian, let alone vegan, but I do like the thought process. And meat is bad for the enviornment too, it is a large contributer to global warming. I am inspired to go the more organic root. Organic meat. Happy meat. Not that I eat the much meat, but when I do I should try to do my best (this will be hard in TZ, but I am in Denmark now so I can try). And just up my food directly from the earth and ditch packaged processed foods. Its good for the enviornment AND me! Win-win. Wow I am positive about food today for once. That's good though! Food has been getting me down. I've restricted which made me feel bad, and then not meet those restricted goals which made me feel worse! So new day tomorrow, new start, new everything. Sara is a reborn dieter. |
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sqzee New Member
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I'm really happy! I did reach my goals. And no alcohol tonight. So really good! I loved getting out and moving my legs. Denmark is truely beautiful in summer. There is nothing better.  I didn't have the yogurt for breakfast because my dad had eaten it. So I considered cornflakes, but thought it too overprocessed and I knew it wouldn't fill me up. We also only had full milk. So I chose ryebread with some cheese. And a cup of tea. Then the next opstacle was Baresso. My best friend ordered a SmooTE. Some kind of smoothie thing with tea instead. But it turned out to be much more icey. I ordered the same just a small one and no whipped cream or sprinkles. So I hope it was ok. I have no way of knowing of course. I don't know how much sugar was in it or anything, but most of it was ice of course. Then I went to my friends house and I had 2 pieces of crispbread with some chicken and salami. I'm sure it was fine. My mother had said she would go and shop for grocceries and buy fruits and veggies. But she didn't. Another . She was too tired. But I don't like making her feel bad so I did not beat her up about it. I went out and rummaged the fridge instead. I found some things, carrots, onion and tomato. We also had eggs (not free range but my father bought them not me, I will make sure of free range when we go shopping next time) so omelet it was. I was ok, but I was looking forward to new food. We have to shop tomorrowAnyway, we also have strawberries which look just DIVINE and I will have some with some cream mixed with milk and sugar. I know - but I don't care. Danish summer is not the same without it. Plans for tomorrow? Prob the same for breakfast. Then I am going shopping again with my mother and grandmother. Prob. lunch out. Dinner home, hopefully we have shopped and I am making dinner. Goals: Have fun shopping! Move around be happy. Stick to the breakfast that I serve myself on the plate. Do not eat directly after the meal. Don't stress over lunch. Choose something healthy and when you see the portion size decide how much to eat and stick to it. Don't be nervous and think everybody know's that you are on a diet. Be confident that you know what you are doing. Don't put bad things in the shopping wagon. Don't let nostalga get to you with food. Fruit and veggies are your new comfort food. So now I just GO FOR IT. I am so proud of my day today and I wouldn't want to ruin that now would I? Over and out  |
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sqzee New Member
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So yesterday was great and today has been pretty good too. I had breakfast as I had planned plus 2 strawberries. Then lunch was some bagel and a pastasalad. I think it was ok in calories. And I just had a dinner of ryebread with some topping and some carrots and cucumber. Then I had some ice-tea and a ricecake. I did move around a lot. I am completly sore. Nostalga did not get to me with the food shopping but it did get to my mother. She bought several bad things. And its not like chips and candy its 'leverpostej' and other danish specialities. It is annoying that I have to avoid them, but I can't deny HER them can I? I can feel that I have the munchies but I don't know what to do to get rid of them. Option 1: Find something calorie-light as a treat Option 2: ABSTAIN I am a little afraid of O1 because when I am in this mood food leaves to more food. But I don't know if I can stick to O2... Hopefully I can mark this down as a good day. Tomorrow the plans are for more shopping and maybe a concert later, I am not sure. Goals?: Carefully consider the breakfast and STICK TO IT. Eat what you serve and don't snack after. If you're out for lunch choose healthy. Asses the portion-size, choose how much you want and stick to it. Keep that light feeling in your stomach, don't do serial snacking. Stop yourself. Be happy! |
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sqzee New Member
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It's a new day! Did option 2. 3 times. But it was yoghurt (40kcal/100g!!!) and an apple. The yoghurt is fantasic! I don't know how they do it. So all in all must have been around 200kcal. Just had breakfast. Yoghurt, apple and some crispbread with topping. And it's 10:45. So a late breakfast. Hopefully that means that I can make it back for a lunch/dinner. I am going bra and bathingsuit/bikini shopping with my mother. We need to go to a speciel store after once again learning that bras from big chains just don't fit me. I need expertise. Seriously, they didn't even measure me correctly. One just kind of looked at me and guessed. The other measured around and then guessed. I was a 70G before I lost weight. So I am expecting that I am less now, but one store said I was a 70I. Now that is the most illogical #%@&! I have ever heard. And only one of their bras fit properly out of all of them. Something is wrong with their sizes. I am also nervous of the bathing suit/bikini. Not because of weight-issues, but breast issues. I can never ever find anything that holds up. Not bikinis not bathing-suites. And I don't want things to wobble! I just don't, and I hate that they don't make fashionable swimsuit stuff in big cups sizes. COME ON. It can really make me upset and I feel like some outcast. Like I did first when I was told my actual bra size and they only sold granny models. Now they are much better and I am over that (sort of) but the revolution has not come to the swimsuits yet. Hopefully my trusty store will have something for me, even though it is ridiculously late in the year to buy swimsuites. |
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sqzee New Member
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Got some bras, and a bikini! Woohoo! I fit it! Double woohoo! I still feel fat, but gratefull that I am not fatter! I did pretty good for food. But I ate ice cream for lunch out of practical reasons. Too long to explain. The only bad thing was that I took a second portion of dinner (small but still) and snacked yoghurt, crispbread and ricecakes. And some chocolate. I think the ice cream might have spurred that. I don't know. And now I have the 5 day camping trip. The 5 day camping trip with booze. The 5 day camping trip with my 2 friends. I am nervous. I hope and wish that I DO NOT GAIN. Although I can't know because I have no scale but, I hope I keep the food under control even though everything is like against me. These past days have been successful, which is the right way to go after being sloppy for a long while, so I don't want this to mess it up. I have control of breakfast and lunch tomorrow, so that's all good and then I will REALLY do my best. I am very serious that I will do my best and then I will see you - diary - on wednesday or thursday! Over and out. |
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sqzee New Member
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I have had a good day today but the rest of the campingtrip has been pretty bad. Tomorrow I will prob. be drinking as well, but I will try to make room for it in the calorie budget. I'll work it out tomorrow morning. The reason I'm bummed is that I found an old scale that is reading me at 63/64 something because the display is broken so I can't see the number properly. I don't even know if it is accurate... Its near what I was so that's why I believe it, but still argh. There is no use though, even though I am fighting and gaining, that just shows that I should be fighting harder. Hopefully today was a loosing day and tomorrow will be also. I think I will get a run in and maybe even walk to my friends house. She lives pretty far away on foot anyhow. |
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sqzee New Member
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Rule #1: Stop weighing myself on the mentioned scale. It is bumming me out and I don't even know if it works. Obv. its kind of broken. Now, I did pretty good in the alcohol department but bad in the 'lets eat junk because I'm drunk' department. CHIPS. Could I have chosen something worse? Anyway, tried to compensate today, had breakfast and no lunch but early dinner at a restaurant. I choose good things but the total quantity I ate was prob. too big. Then came home and ate one rice-cake and an apple. Tomorrow I am invited to something as well. I can't seem to control my food when I'm not home. And I haven't cooked it. What to do? Try my best? I say that all the time though. I'll go for the healthiest if there is a choice, I won't overeat, I'll relax around the food and try to think about something other than avoiding food. We can be in the same room without me eating can't we? It should be possible I've been really upping the veg at meals, which seem to have been helping a lot with the binge-type craving things I get. I must remember to add the veg (or fruit). Its important that I don't get those cravings. And also alowing myself the snack, but making sure it is veg or fruit. I know that sounds obvious but sometimes I allow a little of whatever I wanted, or maybe a replacement sweet, but it doesn't seem to do it. I think my stomach needs filling up rather. And my dude (who doesn't want to be my dude I am sure of, and wants to be someone elses dude) told me he had lost wieght and gained muscle, even though he says he will put it on again. I kind of inpired him I'm sure, so we can't have him loosing weight and me none at all now can we? No, no, no. Esp. since he won't be my dude. We have to show him what he's missing out on There is motivation for you ^^ It won't help the situation, I'm not dillusional, but I will feel more confident in myself. I am wondering if I should get a run in tomorrow. If that would be ok for the knee and if I have time and feel like it. Maybe I will just ride my bike. Or maybe I won't do anything. Hopefully it will come to me and I will fly out the door and into some exercise. I walked 5km today back from my friends house to get some exercise for today. I really want a scale though. Really really need to see what status I am at. If I've gained/lost. I really hope I am not over 63kg. I am tired of that plateau. |
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sqzee New Member
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Yesterday was all in all ok. I had two times pie which I shouldn't. I also had some candy and when I got home I had some kind of frenzy with ricecakes and an apple and a little bit of chocolate and some diet coke. I think the sugar spurred it. I will have to keep track of these patterens and see if it is that. It might also be emotional. But I stopped myself in time I think, and hope. No exercise though, didn't have time. There won't be any today either, I am going to visit my grandmother and grandfather. I want to only eat 2 pieces of ryebread with healthy topping, and then a reasonable portion of dinner. That would be more than perfect. But my grandparents are tradtional danish people, which does not always include healthy. I'm not having breakfast. I just woke up and we're leaving in an hour. Maybe some yoghurt. Broken scale said 62,9. I can live with that, I was fearing worse. I just have to plow forward, 100g at a time like I used to. I set a goal on madital.dk for 60kg by 1. of august. I would be overjoyed. I am happy about this diet right now, I don't feel I messed up for once And I really do want time for a run. I'll have to push it in tomorrow morning before 10. That means get up at 7:30 or something, get up, go, come back, have a shower, leave to meet my friend. |
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sqzee New Member
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Again another ok day. Well its the same day but wtv. Had a bit more for lunch than I wanted to. Did not have the healthiest choice of dinner but controlled the portion and had strawberries with a type of cream. But then I came home and had some yoghurt, 2 ricecakes and an apple. So that's like a 100-200 kcal snack-binge thing. I HOPE its not more. I thought about the run. Won't happen tomorrow. I will have a light breakfast tomorrow, and then go to meet my friend and we will shop and go to Tivoli. So we kind of have to find a place to eat. Or I will opt for something unhealthy but then just not have proper lunch or dinner. We'll see. I am nervous for it, exp. because she eats like a pig but is as thin as a stick so I have no idea what she wants to eat and we don't know eachother that well. |
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sqzee New Member
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Bdr just kind of binged. With yoghurt, carrot, apple and ricecake. But I had like 200cals for breakfast + some chocolate unhealthy stuff. Then ice cream. Then a chicken burger and what I now just ate. And I feel like eating more chocolate... Which means I probably will. But this 'binge' is prob. just hunger. Not that I feel hungry but I think my body wanted some more food. Its not like it was horrible. And I have been out walking around for 10 hours. My feet really hurt. That must have burned som cals. I am actually pretty happy with today so far. I must admit that I will be very dissapointed if the scale does not show under 63 when I get back to Dar. My dude is annoying me. Even though it is totally unrelated. Food for tomorrow should be in my hands. So that is a good start. Lets see what happens. Just had some more candy. Bdr. |
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sqzee New Member
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A pretty good day so far. I am pretty content. I don't know what brought on this good streak but I am very happy with it. I had 2 ricecakes and some topping for breakfast. I also had some candy. Lunch was just a roll. Actual lunch didn't fit into my plans. Then I had some more candy. And then some sugarfree candy. And an apple. Dinner will be chicken and salad. With some good calorielight dressing. I wish I could see the progress on the scale. I hope I am not calculating anything wrong. Its telling me around 550cals so far for today. See thats not a lot is it? But I mean for the other days as well. |
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sqzee New Member
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Well now... My good streak is over. This is starting to be very annoying. I do good I do bad. I really need to know what I weigh. I have to see what damage/good I am doing... Tomorrow I will shop for my birthday on sunday and cook... Sunday I will celebrate it... A recipe for disaster anyone? This is making me so depressed. And it really shouldn't. I am just so tired of being fat. Could the fat just please dissapear? This is not going anywhere... What is it I am missing? More selfdiciplin or a better enviornment or more planning or what? I should go to bed... |
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sqzee New Member
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I am freaking sick. AWWIE AWWWW! My throat is killing me, I am all snotty, my ears hurt, it hurts to swallow and BREATHE. Not so perfect. I am so upset. I am celebrating my birthday tomorrow. It's not fair. Arrrrgh... I haven't had anything to eat yet. Because I know it won't taste good. And it will hurt. I just know fruits and vegetables will hurt my throat a lot. |
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sqzee New Member
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Ok. I'm in a better mood now. I am still sick and I feel like I ate to much anyway but I calculated and it says 900cals. So I am guessing that the real number is like 1200 because I am bad at guessing how much things weigh. I also went for a run. So that's ok I guess. But then there is the birthday celebration tomorrow. I have requested strawberries and some light cream that is very good. And then there is the tradtional danish lagkage. Which is a layered cake with whipped cream and some other cream things, and this is also with strawberries. And then we will bake rolls. The lagkage is not so bad caloriewise because of the cream being 0 cals, and then there is just the whipped cream and the cake layers. Strawberries are not so bad either. But I planned all this this way. Because I love bread, and I love bread and butter. And we will also be serving som small chocolates. Am I a bit food-obsessed or what? Chocolate is also a big thing for me. But you only celebrate your birthday once a year right? And this is my sweet sixteen after all. I am going to bed. Over and out. |
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sqzee New Member
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So still haven't eaten anything yet. (aside from tasting the cream and strawberries, very good, both of them) I am thinking if I hold out on breakfast I am less likely to eat too much. Its the only thing I have find that works effectively on saving the calories. If I just not eat breakfast and then an early lunch instead. This only works on a vacation of course, can't do it when I'm in school, unless I want to faint or have no concentration. Breakfast is good for the body I know, but as soon as I eat breakfast then the only thing I can think of is food (more so than I am already) But it is really wierd, morning is the only time where I don't feel that I could reeeeeeaaaaalllllly eat this or that (be it healthy or not) But I have to eat when I am hungry, or else I feel sick and we don't want that. |
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sqzee New Member
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I think I need a calorie confession :) I ate rolls and drank hot chocolate and had cake and small chocolates and nuts and raisens and strawberries with cream (cal-light though). But you also have to live a little. Even though at a point I really felt sick. Anyway. I went for a run afterwards. Just 33min in total, but I also walked. I hope it made some kind of dent in the overconsumption but I doubt it was much. This morning I had an apple and cake for breakfast. Really not much cake though, but it is oh sooo good. Then I had some cracker with really good (and fattening) cheese left over from yesterday and tuna and pasta. And some hot chocolate, that is now cold. It is very good cold. And I also just had a small chocolate. For some reason though I feel quite content and happy. I do fear for the scale though tomorrow. And for the food they will serve on the plane. Oh yeah, btw I am flying in 4 hours. Back to TZ. 12 hour journey or something. So I will update again at some point when I get back. Over and out |
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sqzee New Member
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So I'm back. And I weighed myself on my real scale. 62,1. So nooot bad. That means I have lost ½-1kg in the 3 weeks we have been gone. That is a couple 100g per week. Which is not bad concidering. I am just overjoyed that I am near 61 something. Finally. Seems like I have been 62-63 forever (it has been forever, like more than a month) So if I do good the next couple of days, I should be seeing a 61.9 So let us all hope for a drop tomorrow. I should have no problems the next couple of days because I will be home with my own food. But I also have no plans so I will be lingering around at home with aaalll the food. And I can't run! I ran to days in a row and the knee is hurting again, so I promised myself not to run for the next 4-5 days. And then to only run one day in a row. So far I had a yoghurt on the plane, and some bread and cheese. Then I had an apple and some breadsticks. And 2 pieces of bread with topping. One more apple. A whole bag of cal-light candy (around 150cals in all) and 3 gummibears. And I think that is it. And its 3 o'clock. It had not been the healthiest or most diet-minded but I hope with a clever choice of dinner (and me keeping out of all other food succesfully) that it is ok. I'll go check out how many calories I am on now in a bit. Mwah! Here's to not having gained  |
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sqzee New Member
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Drumroll please...: 61,9kg! Woohoo! I am so very pleased. It is seriously ages ago since I have been able to experience a good solid loss. So I will do what all dieters do and love, tell the whole world and celebrate !Now see this is my lowest weight ever. I know that is stupid because when you loose it will always be lower but its a nice feeling I am also getting closer and closer to my ultimate goal. I am glad it's moving again. I wish I could go for a run though. But I don't want to screw up my knee again. Definately not. But I guess it's good that I really feel like going. In 2-3 days I can. Yesterday when I typed everything in it said around 1150cals. That's a lot if it's only 3 o'clock. So I decided on tomato soup for dinner. The soup was great but of course I had some bread with it. Later I also had a piece of dark chocolate, a breadstick and a very small banana. Oh and a diet cherry coke. So I think I was pretty succesfull. Today I am a bit worried because I am going for a sleepover at a friends house. There may be some booze... and we all know how many cals are in that stuff. I don't know though, we might not want to anyway. And also the general thing about havíng to eat what is served and being tempted to eat junk because your friends are. But she does have a pool so we might swim a little. All I've had so far is some pineapple for breakfast. Thank you TZ for the lovely pineapple  I don't know what I will more eat. I am going at 2, which is right at lunch time, so I could skip lunch all together and have a snack or lunch at my friends house, but I don't want to do that because I know I will be hungry, but I hope they have already had lunch because I hate to be tempted or watch them eat and everything. Maybe I can have the soup for lunch? Another thing I have been meaning to post here is my plan to def. run 3 times a week. I might not be able to do that, but I certainly want to. I must have rest days in between as long as my knee hurts. So from the next time I run, I will give it a rest day and then run again. So about every other day. They don't have to be long runs. Just the 17min run then some walk then 12min back or something. Oh and I have a heart rate monitor now! My father gave me it for my birthday! WOOT, so I will def. use it! I hope I can keep it up. At least untill volleyball starts, because here I get no exercise whatsoever because I don't walk anywhere. Ok that's it for now, even though it was a lot |
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LTP New Member 
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Congratulations on your weight loss! Ah, it's been so long since I've really seen any loss on my scale. ): But you commented in my diary, so I figured I'd return the favor. I look forward to seeing updates from a fellow (almost)16 year old! (: |
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sqzee New Member
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Well well, I have been gone for around 3 days now... See I went to mentioned friends house and actually stayed 2 nights instead of 1. We were 3 girls in a house alone for 3 days. I had a very very lovely time, but the eating was not at its best obv. and to add on top of that, the 2 bottles of wine and some Amarula that the 3 of us consumed (so divide by 3 please). But it was the best couple of days I have had in a long time I think. So cleansing, inspiring and uplifting. And I wasn't all bad. We went running yesterday, and I did stomach exercises afterwards. I also swam a bit. And I skipped lunch yesterday as well. And the food wasn't that unhealthy, I just ate too much. So for today I've had 3 pancakes, some cream, some sirup, some sugar, strawberries, banana, orange, one chocolate marshmallow thing, one small banana, a mix of carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, spring onions, and soy sauce. And one diet coke. And I've done stomach exercises. No, it has not been a good day foodwise, but tomorrow I will see on the scale and get back on track. I am going running tomorrow as well, and doing stomach exercises. Maybe we can go swimming as well. I can't wait to try out my heartrate monitor, and it would be sticking to my plan of every other day. |
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sqzee New Member
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Running:  Stomach toning: Weight:  (same)Food I'm not sure sure about though. I woke up at 10:30 and didn't eat untill 2. And I ran in between. I was hungry, but one thing led to the other and I didn't eat until 2. Bad idea because it is now 3 and I have had: 200g of pineapple 75g of yoghurt 1 small piece of bread 7 cal-light gummibears 1 chocolate cookie 2 carrots 1 small piece of chocolate So it's not like I'm doomed or anything, but it was def. a binge. A normal hunger binge that was unlucky. I am happy I went for a run though, and toned. Even though I hated the toning and I am not even sure if it will do any good. But hey, it's only been 3 days haha! Ahh yes, patience is a virtue. Weight was the same. Possibly a tiny bit more because the scale was 61,9-62 rather than the solid 61,9. But I am not THAT obsessed. Tomorrow I hope and expect to see a drop. Assuming I do well for the rest of today of course. I might be going to some kind of reception. Hopefully I can control myself. And then I can come home and cook something good for dinner. I am starting to feel slimmer which is nice. I am not embarrassed to be in my bikini. Not too much anyway I am evolving into something beautiful. My legs are so nice and tanned. Running works apparently I am preparing to be an improved person in IB. Not just with the weight, but I want to be more organized. Less stressed. And in control of my life basically. I am no longer the girl who wanted to loose weight. I am the girl who did. I am no longer the girl who wishes she was fit, I am the girl who is fit. So this can be applied to many other aspects of my life as well. And I know this and what I have to do is be diciplined. Because I know it pays off, I see it very clearly with my weightloss. Work pays off. When you slack it shows. |
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sqzee New Member
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Stomach Toning: (not yet) Weight: !!! 61,6kgYah so I'm down today But it was a pretty substantial drop from yesterday so if it goes up again tomorrow I shouldn't be upset. I am just so releived that I haven't gained. After posting yesterday I went to the goodbye party and there was dinner included so I had:some casava chips some beef some chicken 2 slices of potato cooked in cream some butternut (also in cream I think) salad salad with wild rice (and lots of it) small piece of chocolate cake small piece of tart a little bit of ice cream 2 helpings of fruit and a carrot when I got home at 12 and a diet coke So now can you see why I am glad I did not gain? And actually lost 300g? But I guess the trick yesterday was the portions, and also the exercise. I am relieved though. So far today I've had: small banana 2-300g of pineapple And its 10 to 12. I am going swimming in an hour, but it won't be exercise swimming, I'll just be in the water a bit. I plan to do my stomach exercises later, and then I can update, or I can update that tomorrow. I don't know about lunch or dinner. I am home so I will cook, therefore it shouldn't be a problem. But I prob should go with my mother to buy groceries if anything is open. We have no pineapple, no tomatoes, no carrots and only 2 small bananas left. So many people mentioned my weightloss yesterday, but it made me so self-concious. And it is so hard to explain the science of calories (though one should think it was quite simple) to people who also wish to loose weight. Let's hope my classmates think I look just as good as my mother's collegues. I highly doubt it though That's why 55 here I come! But let's just get to 60 first eh? |
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sqzee New Member
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Running: Stomach toning:  (not done yet and didn't do yesterday)Weight: !!! 61,3kg!I am just writing quickly before my very fat, and annoying hopeless not really friend friend. I hate her really, but I can't seem not to be happy for her. So good about running. 28min. Have eaten: 1 orange 3 tiny bananas 2 ricecakes 1 apple small piece of chocolate 1 carrot So a lot of fruit. And actually a lot of food. But its 2:30 so I think it's fine and I ran so. And the weight is down! So very happy about that. Almost can't believe it. I will definately celebrate! (not with food though )Plans for food I don't know. I don't know about my friend. Sorry gotta go! |
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sqzee New Member
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Toning: (I might do it later we'll see. It's really not much but argh...) Weight: 61,3kgRunning: tomorrow Mwuah! So I haven't gained. And maybe I can actually lose a little more for tomorrow morning, weigh-in for the summer challenge! Yah! gogo Sara! I am starting to feel more and more comfortable in my body. Though I am worried that 55kg might not be my goal weight. But that is something I really have to see when I get there. I am done moving my goals And anyway, let's get to 60 first right?I have done absolutely nothing today. I've been lying in bed, tanning on the balcony or listening to Jack Johnson here in front of my computer. I don't know how good that is for the metabolism but it's my summer break, so I can't care! Food for today: Müsli (40g, 140cals) 1 orange 1 apple 2 ricecakes 1 chocolate cookie small handful of candy 2 big slices of pineapple (aprox. 200g) 1 carrot 1 diet coke yoghurt And my mother will be home soon and then we can make dinner. Haven't decided on what that should be yet... Maybe I'll just make a vegetable mix and she can have whatever. I think I've done ok on the food front so far. I have definately not been hungry so I haven't had to little, but the candy was not so good. The chocolate cookie on its own would have been ok, execpt its still kind of early and I am usually sugar/snack craving later so I like to save it... Aaw well, I'll just have the confidence right now to say that that doesn't matter |
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sqzee New Member
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Runinng: Will do later (hopefully) I need the sun to start to set though, the heat kills me Stomach toning: prob. after running, hope I make it through most of it Weight: 61,2kg !So happy! I can't believe my weight is going down. Down down down! Today I have just had pineapple. But I woke at 10 and it is now 11. I really hope I do go running, because yesterday and today I was/am not feeling like it and today is my running day. But let us see, maybe motivation will grip me and I will be out the door. But not now in the heat of the day. I have no food plans really, and no plan plans really. I'm home all day. Doing nothing, maybe a bit of homework. I really want to get the homework of my concience. 60kg here I come! Now I feel close. Just 1,2kg to go. And then from there 5 more. And then we'll see what I look like. School is in 2-3 weeks (ahh homework really needs to be done) and so a more structured day will start for me. Also more stressed. And no P.E. But then there is ISSEA volleyball, and I am banking on making the team. Which means exercise, and also the gym is open for all, and not ihabited by pumped IB2 guys. I am more confident in my fitness level, and also my right to work out if you can say it that way so I might be using the school gym. My friends want to use it as well so all in all it might be tolerable. My BMI is now just under 24 at 23,9. When I am at 55 my BMI will be 21,5. So maybe I should just trust the numbers for now, 21,5 is just where anyone would want to be right? So that's what I am going for. But it is such a relief to be normal weight for now |
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sqzee New Member
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Motivation has not gripped me yet and I doubt that it will. The sun is also setting soon. I feel bad now because I will break my promise of going running today. It will mess up my schedule of running every other day. So should I go? I think that has got to be no. I know exercise isn't always fun, and there is no use for slacking, but I just really don't want to go. And there are other times were I really do want to go. And I was working on my homework before I came to write here because I feel guilty about not running and not wanting to, and I need to justify not wanting to (and not going). Ugh. If I gain tomorrow I am sooo going to hate myself. And then there is the health factor and all that. Ok... enough rant. I will not go and it is ok. I am not a slacker and I this is not me going off track. This is me on vacation And I am doing homework, I mean come on its not like I am completly slacking.I think I'll have tomato soup for dinner.  |
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sqzee New Member
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Ola! I've been gone for a bit, and its been a bad two days caloriewise. I've had pizza, candy, alcohol and junkfood! And what sucks is that I don't even like junkfood But what is is and now I can only look forward.Weight: 61,4kgRunning: I hope to go today but I went yesterday so I'm not sure yet, but I did skip the other day so... I also need to figure out my heart rate monitor. And I should think about how I improve my running, as in what can I do to help myself get better, what type of program should I use? And what should I be eating maybe? Stomach toning: I almost haven't been doing it but I did try to compensate yesterday. Shall we see if I can get some done after my run today or tomorrow?Food: I've started off today ok, but I woke at 10:30 so I've had a brunch kind of thing 60g of müsli 1 apple 1 ricecake 1 breadstick some sugarfree candy And we're invited out to eat tonight. At 5. I think there will be healthy food to chose so then it's just about the portions. Then there is the snacking before and after that I have to be aware of and not fall into. Otherwise I will be working on my homework I think. If I can squeeze it in now in a bit. And we need to go groccerie shopping. We don't have much food in the house. |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight: 61,7!!! (all together now, let's say it, cooome on.......: FLUCTUATION) At least this is what I am seriously seriously hoping, but alas, I have seen this pattern before (weight graph) and I should not be upset because as I said they must be, only logically could they be, fluctuations. It is esp. weird because I have even been exercising a great deal. What gives?! Ok, so I must not let the scale get me down. Just look forward and keep at it even though this is a slow process. For dinner I think just a plain old carrots and peanutbutter yum Best of both worlds! Or maybe not the peanut butter but instead an orange? I am really not feeling like making dinner but I want some good healthy stuff. |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight: 61,2kg So I should be overjoyed but it is not under what I have been yet. Sadly. And also because the Summer Challenge weigh-in is in 2 days and I would like to have lost. I don't think I will run today but that should be ok since I ran friday and saturday, but then I must run tomorrow, which is my birthday btw  Eaten today: 1 orange 1 apple 2 tiny bananas a little bit of raisons So so far so good. Its 10 to 11 and I woke at 9 something. I have things to do, like homework. But I should clean a bit first. I can't work in a mess. Which is quite hard since I love to make a mess, and I am bad at clearing it up! I might just play some Sims 3 first though. |
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sqzee New Member
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I have not had internet so I obv. haven't been able to write here. I prob. won't have internet tomorrow either, for now I have 2 hours more. I did not weigh myself this morning because I am trying to only weigh once a week. We will see how that goes. My weight had been everywhere so I am not sure what I should believe so lets see in a week. Personally I think my eating has been ok these past 3 days. But I have not exercised, not run at all. I should tomorrow, but 'should' doesn't mean 'do'. We will see. I am cutting myself some slack because I am working on a school project and this is the last vacation I will be seeing in a long time. My weightloss is so slow. But I can and will not let that get me down. School is in 9 days So...ah! I have no idea what I should feel about school, I know I am really scared. But we shall see, wait wait wait, and be repared for everything and anything I guess. |
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sqzee New Member
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Hola amigos! I am at my mom's work to get my internet fix, since it is STILL not working at home Anyway, food has been ok, although I have been snacking a lot at night, but I feel I have been good at my veggies and fruit. Still no exercise but I actually think I will go today when I get home. I have found a running program to get me to 10km instead of '5' which is not even what I can do, I can do 30mins but it is not 5 km... It says run 10mins walk 2 run 10mins walk 2 for the first day. That should be managable. Although I might just go for another 10 mins after but we will see. Maybe the program can keep me accountable. And maybe I can start to experience the same successful feeling I felt when I just started running and was improving every time. I want to be comfortable at 30mins. I have still not weighed myself and it feels strangely... liberating? But at the same time I like to keep track and see if I am doing right or wrong and also the thrill of losing. But is the thrill of losing worth being upset when I gain? I was thinking I would wiegh myself tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Which means I have avoided like 3-4 days of not weighing. Go Sara My goals should be focused around the exercise but I am really not feeling into it. Should I force myself though? I probably should. I still feel kind of fat. And a bit depressed over having been fatter. I also must come to accept the fact that my weightloss is slow because I let myself have some of the things I crave. I really wonder what normal-weight people do. People who are naturally slim and eat when they are hungry and not when they aren't. What a problem-free life they must have. Ok, maybe not, but I just can't imagine having such a normal relationship with food. Even though the last couple of days have been good. I haven't been stressed about food that much and I have been more relaxed. Good for me. I also realized that I have just 7kg to go. Which is like insanely little! At least now I think it is. In my head I had 10kg there still, I guess because my goal from the very beginning was 10kg, and then I reached it and went for 10kg more but didn't realize I had lost the 3 already. Well I did, but not conciously untill today. Only 7 kg more. It is almost uptainable |
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sqzee New Member
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Mwuah! Weight: 60,6kg! Wow, I really needed that loss. So happy. Yesterday was bad. Yesterday evening, my relationship to a good friend was just ruined, but now all I can do is look forward. Anyway, nice to have lost even without exercise and with the things I like to eat. I am quite impressed although a little worried that some of it is dehydration. I'm watching Jamie Oliver, I love that guy Especially young Jamie, I love Oliver's Twist. I am going running in a little bit. I was thinking I would run 10 walk 2, run 10 walk 2 and then run 10 again if I am up for it, if not 5. (this is minutes we are talking about here) My food should be digested, I ate at 11 something. My BMI is now 23,7. And with my weight today I have just 5,6kg to my ultimate goal. Which is really making me doubt my ultimate goal, but again again let's see when we get there. 5 kg might just do the trick, and they might not but it will take time to get them off so there is no point in thinking about that now. I should also write in my diary (my real diary ). Make some plans to keep myself in check. Plans that do not involve weightloss |
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Maggie Distinguished Member 
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Hi Sqzee Love your enthusiasm. Good plan to run 10 and walk 2. For me I am going to run 2 and walk 10...well it's a start. Every little bit helps. Cheerio Maggie |
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sqzee New Member
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Running: R10min W2mins R10mins W(around 15-20mins) R10mins W(15-20mins) R3mins So all in all pretty good with the running. A total of 33mins of running and 30mins of walking. I haven't weighed myself today, yah for me! I think I will go another couple of days. I woke up late yesterday and it kind of mixed up my eating, not in a bad way but I am not hungry when I should be and not sure when to eat/when not to. Today as well, I woke at quarter to 11 and ate and now its almost 12 but I'm not sure when to eat lunch. I will force myself to get up at 9 tomorrow. Unfortunately we are running low on fruits and veg but hopefully when my mom gets home we can go buy some. Maybe some of those lovely oranges that we have been buying lately ! Suddenly being on a diet is not so hard! No but the oranges are really good. And we need apples and pineapple, carrots and cucumber. Tomatoes. |
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sqzee New Member
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I am switching back and forth between really wanting to run and not wanting to go for a run at all. I just ate because I woke at quarter to 10 and its now 20 to 11. So I'll have to wait for a while. And then have to run in the hottest mid-day sun because it has to be before 2 because I am going to a friends house at 2. My running program says another walk 2 run 10 walk 2 walk 10. So I'll do what I did last time and add another 10. Food has been ok today: 1 roll with butter 1 orange 1 apple Yesterday I snacked too much at night but I am trying to get a normal sleeping rythm so that should control the snacking for tonight. I'm not sure what I will be eating at my friends house but she said I could bring healthy snacks. I haven't weighed myself today either, so that's really good, but I can't decide when I should weigh myself again. In two days maybe because then it was 4 days ago. Let's hope for a loss like always. |
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sqzee New Member
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Running: R10 W2 R12 Wfor I don't know how long R11 Food: I went to a friends house and ate too much. Then I came home and ate too much... Kind of bleh. Very much bleh. |
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sqzee New Member
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So... New day! Still haven't weighed myself... Which is prob good because I prob gained from yesterday! But I think I will weigh myself tomorrow. Today so far: 1 orange some apple strawberries 1 ricecake some pasta some candy Bdr. So not that good. Need to stop the sugars and the pasta. I can eat lunch in an hour or so if I want. Woke up at 9 today, so slowy easing into normal sleeping rythm with eating times were they should be. School starts monday and have to figure out what I want with me as a snack. No exercise today, but the plan is for a run tomorrow. I do hope I have lost. At least 200g would be really nice but let's see, I'm not so sure. |
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sqzee New Member
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Argh. I fail Weight: 60,8kg Running: What is with that?! I don't run for 5 days I lose 1 kg, I actually DO get exercise and I GAIN? Does not make sense... I don't feel like running today, not at all, it'll be some other day. Food today: Pineapple ricecake sugarfree hard candies butternut sqaush soup 1 orange cashews So it's not looking good. No wonder I have gained. I have to get back on track. School the day after tomorrow. Shock horror. I might be seeing friends tomorrow, and my plan was to bake cupcakes for them (and me) because I really feel like baking. I'm even baking bread now. Adr I don't know. I'm craving sweet things and comfort food. Really craving! I don't know what to dooooo... |
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sqzee New Member
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Ok, ew ew, bdr. Bad eating day. Lovely food for dinner, too much cupcake and lovely pizza for lunch. No exercise of course. But now it is over and tomorrow we are back on track. Fruit for breakfast. Fruit and veggies with me for snack at school and good lunch at home, good dinner later. That is the plan. Running if I feel like it. I will weigh myself tomorrow and take whatever horrible high weight it will be, and let it motivate me. Tomorrow's a new day Don't you just love weightloss? Always the next day to do it right |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight: 61,2kg But that is to be very much expected. I am not even suprised. I ate badly. I am back on track today. I did eat fruit for breakfast. Had one cupcake at school. I apple and 2 carrots at school. 1 carrot at home, 1 orange and a ricecake. I'm not hungry. I'll have dinner in an hour or 2. |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight: 60,9 No exercise. Sorry guys. But the hardest 2 years of my life started yesterday and I am too busy with my school work, organizing things and doing homework. And not panicking. Although I am. Completly panicking. I am not clever enough for school. I feel stupid. And #%@&! scared. Petrified. I don't feel like I can do it. My weight is down because I ate well yesterday. Nice to see a correlation. So I'll do the same today. And I am well on the way I think. Evenings are the hardest so I never really know until the next day. I'd love to see a 60 soon. My personal project supervisor Mrs. Burke saw me today and I said hey. "You've lost weight" she said. "a little" I said back and smiled. From her it was nice to hear. I usually don't like hearing it but from her it was quite nice for some reason. And nice that people notice! And she saw me in my chunky uniform before. Oh. I can feel I need a run soon. I can't go now, I don't have time, I will go tomorrow if I'm still in the mood. But I probably will be. |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight: 60,2kg lowest weight ever Exercise: Food: mostly Finally back on track. Whoop. Go Sara. School has been such a distraction and of course I have no fridge at school Too bad about the exercise but I have been too overwhelmed. Really. I am not even blaming myself and I feel I have been active. Volleyball starts next week and then it will be 2 times a week and poss. 1 time fitness on friday. I've been a little bad with cupcake and ice cream. But not too bad I hope. Going to bed in about an hour anyway so there won't be time to get myself into serious trouble |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight: 60kg! Can you beleive it? Just 5kg to go. I am at the low end of my original goal. I am happy. Very pleased, satisfied, insert synonym here. !!!But I have a feeling that I will have gained for tomorrow. Today hasn't been the best food day, but let's see. I feel better, I feel hotter, I love wearing my new clothes and it hasn't been that big of a problem to stay away from food. The weird thing is that I seem to lose more when I don't exercise? Ehh muscleloss? I hope not. I feel so much more confident. It comes and goes but it definately is more dominant now. My confidence in my physical appearance. I think I like it, but I don't want to be too confident either. |
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sqzee New Member
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I write in shame. I have sucked the last 2 days. Not good with the dieting at all. Geez. Can't even get to the 5 day mark of good eating. Ack. Must start over tomorrow. Take whatever number the scale gives me and live with it. |
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sqzee New Member
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Wow. Scale said same weight as yesterday and before 60,1kg. Well that's good. Not too far a step back. Maybe I can make it under 60 for the challenge weigh-in on wednesday. That would be great. So far so good today, but its still early. Tomorrow there is volleyball which is great. Just one hour though unfortunately. Hopefully next week its more than 1 day a week. I haven't been feeling like running at all. Next week I will be gone thursday to saturday. I am staying at a hotel for the introduction to IB with the school. I don't know anything about the food arangements. If its a buffet or we order or whatever, I don't know. So lets hope that doesn't turn into a large set-back. |
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sqzee New Member
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Spoke to soon. Up 500g this morning. How this is possible? I don't know, so far I have blamed carbs. Because I ate so much bread yesterday, way more than I have done in weeks actually and carbs bind water, so... Let's really hope that that is it. Bdr. Won't make a loss for the challenge. Ishh, can things never go as planned? I ate reasonably today, I think at least. And I had 1 hours volleyball. Although for a lot of the time I was doing nothing. Volleyball wednesday as well. I should go running soon, but we'll see. I'm trying to cope with my homework as it is, no other tasks please. Tomorrow is lasagne for dinner. Mmm. Breakfast: fruit and maybe some crispbread. Snack of fruit and carrots. Lunch: maybe some crispbread or normal bread, fruit and carrots if there are any left. We need to shop. Argh. Another stressful task. Geez I will never survive... |
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sqzee New Member
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What the .... ?! I am now 61kg?! In two days I've gained 1kg?! Argh. I ate well yesterday! Ish. |
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sqzee New Member
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Am so tired. Can barely keep my eyes open. Party last night, went to bed at 4. Slept but it is now quarter past 3 and I am tired. But I need to do homework. Weight was better friday. 59,9kg. But then the booze might have messed that up although I had very little and managed not to eat junk while I was tipsy. Yah for me. So proud. It needs to be that way every time. I want to run today but I am just so tired. I promise I will tomorrow. I really do promis. Just short. No need to push myself just need to get out there again. I am liking my body more and more. I wonder if I will ever have the flat stomach. I have thoughts on weight-loss surgery I wanted to share but I am simply too tired. Over and out. |
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sqzee New Member
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59,7kg So that is under 60. I almost never thought this day would come. To think that I have less than 5kg to my ultimate goal. Its a weird feeling. To date I've lost 15,3kg. Round about that. Of course 5 kg is a slow process for me since I allow myself many things. So far today I've had: 1 roll with FLORA 1 apple 1 carrot I'll eat lunch in 3-4 hours if I can make it that far. I've been living off carrots sooo much. Everytime I crave something I just eat a carrot. Or an apple. And that turns into a LOT of carrots! We buy 2 kgs like every 5 days. I also eat them as part of my meals of course. And I am glad I didn't gain from the partying. Not that I really expected to have, but its nice that I can do that sort of thing and not mess things completly up. |
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sqzee New Member
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#%@&!. I haven't been good. So didn't weigh myself today. I have not time for anything (other than eating apparently) not even time to get on here an look around properly. This is today's food: Pineapple 2 carrots half cucumber 1 apple eggcake 1 piece cripsbread 15g. chocolate half cupcake 1 piece bread with flora 1 apple 1 orange 1 light coke 1 hard candy 1 carrot buuh. Hmm... I don't know. I'll see the weight tomorrow. Crossing fingers and hoping because I have been on an eating rampage. When I get home I just pig out. Why I don't know. I want my 55! |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight: Puhhh still 59,7kg - Lucky me So far: 1 orange 1 apple 1 small banana 2 apples 1 small bag popcorn 1 small carrot 1 orange 1 piece of bread with flora 3 carrots hard candies And I think dinner will be tomato soup. So all in all not bad. Hope I don't mess it up. I'm kind of losing motivation. Or maybe not... Maybe it just can't be my top priority anymore. School, friends and my life are. I don't have time to think about it that much. I barely have time to come on here. But I am eating and wanting food very often. I am wondering if I am actually hungry. Its hard when I am at school because I feel like eating, but I am not actually hungry and I can't relax enough to enjoy my meal so I would rather just wait till I come home, but then I am so hungry that I just eat way too much. Is confusing. Of course I am not doing such a bad job, then I would be gaining obv. That just goes to prove how these habits are so much in me now. I am also concidering being a vegetarian. I don't even eat meat every day. I mean how hard can it be? I haven't had meat today or yesterday. And prob. not the day before either. For now I will just avoid it if it is convinient. Maybe I am getting relaxed about my weightloss because now I know the ups and downs of it. I know what works and what doesn't. I've been doing this for 8 months now, I am experienced. Haha, my friends are fasting for the Ramadan, I can relate! Try denying yourself certain food for 8 months! |
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sqzee New Member
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Weight is still the same. It was undecisive to a bit under. So far: 2 small bananas 1 apple 2 carrots 1 apple 1 bag popcorn 1 piece crisp bread and topping 1 carrot Tomato soup 1 roll with flora 1 orange 1 diet coke 2-3 carrots 3 pieces of chocolate tiny cupcake And I want more chocolate! I could really drink some hot chocolate. Or have a cookie. Or another cupcake. Why can't I stop this? |
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sqzee New Member
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So I had the best time in a long time. Followed by too much food. But hey, I was invited to a friends house to break their fast. We were muslims and non-muslims but the bottom line was food since they are fasting obv. But truely a cultural experience. Geez I love this place. Eating Zanizibar mix on the floor in a Pakistani-Indian home in Tanzania, with the friends I love? Truely divine. And you know what? We were all girls. And we had sooo much fun. Guys my age, take a freaking hike, we really do not need you arrogant #%@&!s. I love food and its way of bringing people together. I guess I will always be fighting the fat girl. I'll pick it up again on sunday, tomorrow I have another dinner. I gotta live. And I really enjoyed the food and the company tomorrow, and I hope I will tomorrow as well. I will gain, but wtv. tomorrow (sunday) is a new day |
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sqzee New Member
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I have been extremely off course since friday, but the last two days I've gotten it together a bit more. Resulting in only +100g from lowest weight. Yah. Hope it is less tomorrow. I am trying to figure out some eating routines and food I can bring to school so I don't buy something (unhealthy) instead. I will re-think this in the weekend when I have time. For now I am just making it up in the morning while considering what I am doing that day and when I am getting home. I'll report back soon, but I am doing homework so Ciao |
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sqzee New Member
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Mmm. So today is a start over day. I have had a yoghurt so far and a small carrot. I will have pasta and tomato sauce for lunch and probably the same for dinner. Both are homemade. I put basil and garlic in the pasta, its really great. Anyway I will control the portions on these ones. I want to start loosing again. I am losing sight of my 55. And then I will way on the 9th which I beleive is a wednesday. Fine with me. I might have a chance to turn it around. Inbetween meals, 1 apple or some carrots. For tonight my diet cherry coke and 1 unhealthy snack, or another apple and some carrots. Or an orange. Or I could drink lots of tea. I am not going running today. Time pressed. |
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sqzee New Member
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I think yesterday was ok, but I also messed up a little, especially towards the evening but I really tried. So far today I have had 2 carrots some rice krispies and milk half a mareng 4 nuts So from now I will eat in about 3-4 hours if I can make it that far. Pasta and tomato sauce again, unless maybe I chose to have pineapple for lunch. Maybe that's a good idea. We'll see. I want a power low-cal day today as well as tomorrow and untill my weigh-in. I really need to focus again. I am not really slipping, just standing still. I want my 55, if not to look #%@&! good, but to have reached my goal and allow myself a bit extra calories every day. Although I am a bit worried about maintanance, but it can't be harder than this now can it? And this wouldn't be so hard if it weren't for the fact that I really love food. Not just in general, but I watch cooking shows and read food blogs. I even make my own pasta! I wish I could spend the days baking and cooking, just smelling and tasting and observing the textures of each ingredient. There are so many recipes I want to try... |
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sqzee New Member
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Ok, so just ate a bit too much. I had 2 pieces of bread, one apple, one orange, one ricecake, some candy and a diet coke... Yeah, Sara, stop eating lunch at 4 when all you've had all day is breakfast and an apple! I think I will do a light dinner. Some fruit maybe. Oh yeah, I had a cupcake too. Ishh. |
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sqzee New Member
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I am alive. Don't worry. But ------ I digress. No loss. Working on it though, I've gained a little and then lost that. I must just keep at it. And since I was cut from the volleyball team I will start running again. Exicted about that. Totally. I yearn to feel the ache in my muscles and smell the burnt and dusty Tanzanian air. I will make this work. I will lose my 5kg. I will be smoking hot. |
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sqzee New Member
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I'm still positive . Weight at 59,5. I have started counting calories again, and my eating is definately in focus. Slowly slowly I am getting back on track. Maybe I can even start running. My plan was for tomorrow because I will be drinking friday and having a very late night. Sleeping over at a friends house again so I hope for a healthy breakfast. And for no drunk stupid eating. And/or having a light lunch and some sleep before I we go out. Oh. And try not to eat the cookies I am baking for peace-day celebration tomorrow. |
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sqzee New Member
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59,1 very But party tonight. Ack. Why does there have to be so many calories in alcohol? Why oh why? And before that dinner with my friends. So a calorie death-trap. But I don't want to be negative. Party yah, weightloss yah, 58 in sight triple yah So my goal is a 58,9 for monday? But I mean huge loss from yesterday. 400g, so maybe unrealistic goal without regard for bouncing back but whatever. Long weekend yah! But LOADS of homework. For those of you with a long weekend as well happy weekend, and others Happy Eid |
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sqzee New Member
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Well at least I danced a lot. And had salad for dinner. The rest is a bit... iffy. Uhm had too much to drink, caloriewise definately anyway. My legs ache from dancing. My face aches from squinting at the club-light, or maybe something else but then I don't remember it. Today has been ok with eating. But I just had a cookie and I really want another diet coke. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow. I hope its ok. |
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sqzee New Member
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Uhm, 59,6kg today... So I've lost like 100g since last wednesday... So slow. I've had one yoghurt and 4 crackers this morning. I'll have soup for lunch or veggies and try to stay out of the sweet stuff. |
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sqzee New Member
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And so now I'm at 59,3kg Which is good. Very good considering that I have REALLY been struggling. I really don't know how I am going to get my butt out and run. I really really hope to see a 58 soon. But I am wondering if 4,3kg more will do the trick. Will I be the kind of skinny I want to be? Because I want to be, I want to be skinny and thin like the other good looking girls at school and there is nothing to do but admit it and work towards that. |
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sqzee New Member
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And so I went for a run. And it was nice. Very very proud of myself. Results not something to brag about, but hey, at least I went. I'm thinking I should actually go tomorrow as well. I don't have anything after school and I really do feel better with my body when I exercise. Food so far has been ok I guess. I'm not really sure, but I would really like to have lost for tomorrow. So I can give in a nice number for the Halloween challenge and so I can go to school feeling good about myself. |
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sqzee New Member
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Wow so many diaries here now. If I don't write each day my dairy ends at the bottom of the page! I was thinking a run today, but I am dead, so I was thinking tomorrow. My plan is to get a lot of homework done later tonight so that I am free for tomorrow to focus on things like running. I have lost 16kg now. That is a lot. Really! I cringe when I imagine 16kg more on my body. 1, 2, 3, 4, 16kg?! Now I'm a bit in a predicament because I want to bake peanutbutter and chocolate brownies covered with chocolate ganache. *Drools at thought* But not good! I was thinking I would bake them for tomorrow evening where I am seeing my friends. And skip lunch as well because we are prob. haveing a sort of pizza party. Ahh can't wait. I love my friends. Because of my diet I have developed an insane love of food and cooking and baking and just anything with food! I'm not sure how good that is because I enjoy making food so much but not the fact that I can't have much of it after. That's why I love to have someone to share it with. |
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sqzee New Member
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58,8kg And when I thought yesterday was a bad day I lose 400g. Yes I am happy happy happy. 55 seems to get ever so close I woke up pretty hungry this morning, like stomach growling hungry which I found odd. We have no veggies or fruit in the house so I had 1 bun/roll with Flora butter, 1 piece of crispbread with a piece of ham and one ricecake. No the healthiest but it didn't break the calorie bank and it will keep me full. Otherwise I could have had rice krispies but they don't keep me full for long. Today is brownie-baking day so we'll see how that goes, and I'm going to a friends house so its my diet day off I guess. I hope that doesn ruin my progress. I'm also starting to doubt weither 55kg is enough. Maybe I should go for even lower, but I'll have to see in a couple of kgs. |
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sqzee New Member
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Yes I am alive. But not under since last post. I'm working on it and I just had two days of running. Self esteem issues about my weight now and before and comments on it have somewhat depressed me unfortunately. I will shake it off. The next place I go no-one will know I was fat. Immature boys argh  Today is not going to be a good diet day because I already had cake and I am going out with my friends for a dear friends birthday and she is moving to Botwana as well so its her farewell too. |
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sqzee New Member
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The weightloss is going ever so slowly but finally I am working my way down from the unacceptable peak I was at a few days ago. 59,2kg today. The self esteem issues are really getting to me. I am so ambivilant. People are telling me I look good and the guys at school are looking at me a different way. I feel like I am being stared at. Someone is always complimenting what I am wearing or my hair or whatever. Which sounds great, but its not. I am really upset that I was treated differently before. I am really upset that this is my ticket in, my body. Not my brains or my humor or my lovely nature. No, just my size. Its a funny thing... I think people are happy that I lost weight, but in a more "oh good she fixed that, now its ok to talk to her". And that is bad, because its making me not even able to take my friends compliments. And these are my friends, my great friends who have always been there for me and loved me at every point in my life, even when I was my worst, so I should be able to take their congradulations and thank them for it. Not lash out as if they are everyone who has ever judged me. Yes I do want others to find me attractive, but I didn't know it would hurt me so much that these people have never noticed me before. I just want to hit them on the head and explain to them every single battle in my head I have gone through to not eat this and that and to exercise. Every single day this is a struggle and noone sees it. They just think that I finally got the memo. I am also embarrassed of how I looked before, and that people know how I looked before. But I still have a way to go. 4 more kg minimum. We'll see if more when I get there, which at this rate seems to be a long way off. |
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sqzee New Member
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I love Lily Allen. Such funny music! Anyway. I have been doing ok but my scale gives me such varieing results on the same weigh-in! Right now I'm about 59,1. Am really hoping to break 59 soon and be solid in 58. Oh please oh please. Eating is hard during a vacation I want to cook and eat and bake all the freaking time! On top of that - I do nothing and have no distractions! Ok not true, but the fridge is oooh sooo near... I should go for a run soon though. Tomorrow is the movies. I might actually make my own snack to take with me or just buy popcorn there and make that my lunch. Anyhow a goal for tomorrow is def. to eat fruit for breakfast! |
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sqzee New Member
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Its going good 58,9kg. Very very happy with that. But I only kind of had fruit for breakfast for today. I've had: 1 apple 4 cracker things (37grams in total) 3-4 carrots? So I can have lunch in an hour or so and then I will make some kind of snack to bring with me to the movies along with a diet coke. Please 58, just stay there! |
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sqzee New Member
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58,7kg Yes that is definately good. I am very happy. And slightly surprised because I had popcorn and alot of it but then I tried to compensate at dinner and it must have worked. I woke up late today, which is not so good because I am trying to go to bed earlier and not screw up my internal clock just because its vacation. It also messes up with the eating because then I don't know when to have lunch and when to have dinner. I plan my meals a lot around time. Its the only thing that stops me from eating breakfast lunch and dinner as soon as I get up. I space it out so I know what time I have to make it to. |
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sqzee New Member
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Ok, so not so great the last 2 days. I am up But today so far is pretty good foodwise but let's see. I am not getting exercise at all... I am really not motivated. Its not fun for me. I enjoy running but somehow I never get out the door and do it! I am still hoping to make my Halloween Challenge goal of 58 but I doubt I will be able to. I have done too much maintaining and not enough losing since the start of school but I have been very very stressed and my mind has been on so many other things. I only have a certain amount of determination and it has all gone to grades! But at least I haven't gained. I am under 60 which is great. Now just 4 kg to go |
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sqzee New Member
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I am finally back down from what I was last week *sigh* But its only my own fault. Its definately not someone else's. I think I will make fish for dinner. Fish and vegetables. I've done ok so far foodwise. Go me. I made chocolate cupcakes yesterday and the cupcakes were good, but the frosting, omg to die for. Its like fudge. Its really good. But I still have like half a kg of chocolate I need to incorperate in some kind of baking... These cupcakes needed cocoa powder. I love food way too much. I really really do. |
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sqzee New Member
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I am so so so not doing very well. And I will be having drinks tonight. Ah...! This is so so annoying. I hate weightloss. I hate not being able to eat everything I want. I know I sound like a baby but it's simply not fair. I wish I just had a normal relationship with food.... |
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sqzee New Member
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I haven't been getting it right lately. I am not losing and I know it is my own fault. I am eating too many calories. That is simply a fact. So I drank last night, and danced my heart out. It must have cancelled out because I've lost a lot. Even after rehydrating. I don't know what the deal with that is. I hope it stays that way though! I am so stressed at the moment. Which means I eat a lot. And I need stop thinking of food as a reward as well as thinking that I deserve it just because my life is hard. When will it come naturally to me? (P.S. here is my blog. Its about the IB (school) and how to get through it alive and almost sane. Its mostly for teenagers in IB, but I want to get the link out there. http://survivingib.wordpress.com/) |
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sqzee New Member
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I am so darned stressed I almost don't care what I weigh anymore as long as I make it through the day hah! Its not going bad though. Concidering. I am maintaining or losing. I can't really complain. But I really gotta go and do some homework! |
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sqzee New Member
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I'm 58,1kg now... I'm really impressed. My friend even told me I shouldn't lose more weight. He thinks I look good as I am... Apparently he thinks I only want to lose more weight because I "want a boyfriend"... Uhm no. I want to lose weight for me. Yes I want others to think I look good but mostly I want me to think I look good. I don't know if that sounds weak or what but it is true and it is what I feel. And what is wrong with wanting to feel hot? Is it vain? I don't want to be vain but I will not lie. I am confused as to what I feel... I am confused as to how I want to look and if I think I look good now. I am definately in for the next 3 kg, but I might want to go beyond that, yet when I speak about it with others I do not get support. Others are generally uncomfortable with any weight (self-esteem) issues. I KNOW that I am not being unreasonable because I am fully aware of my BMI. I am trying to be positive and attribute it to them caring about me but it is still frustrating. P. S. Since when is a family a "support system"? How about just family? Geez... |
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sqzee New Member
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Wow. Scale said 57,7kg this morning. I almost can't beleive it. I am nearly there. I don't know what I've been doing lately but apparently its been right. It feels weird now so close to my goal. Can I really eat more when I am maintaining? Will it be different? Will I be happy at 55? I am kind of ambivilant about everything, I am not so sure what I feel anymore. I've lived like this for a year now and I just don't know. Its good and I'm happy and I hope that when I start maintaining that I can allow myself a little bit more. |
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sqzee New Member
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I am so NOT motivated to lose the last 3 kg. I guess I am so close, that it feels like it doesn't matter. At least I don't want to gain anything back, then I can concentrate on losing later. I had an unusually fast metabolism last week were I was losing and eating cake at the same time? Very weird. Now I am not so lucky. But as long as I turn out under 58 every morning. I can do it and I want to do it. I want those 20kg gone. I want a slightly flatter stomach. I will and I can. I just need to focus. |
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sqzee New Member
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Ok. I actually do want to lose those kg now. I really do. 55 here I come. I will look better at that weight definately and I can do it of course. I don't want to settle. And I don't want to settle just because other people are telling me to. So starting from right now I am really back on track. |
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