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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 October 2008 11:10 pm |
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As some of you may know i joined this site about 2 years ago, i originally weighed about 85kg but then lost about 15kg, i looked & felt great then...Depo Ralovera happened, my friend has been on it for 7 years without issue & as someone who regularly forgot to take her pill it seemed like the perfect option...little did i know it may as well be 10litre injections of pure fat!
In the last year i have not only put on all the wieght i lost.. I got up to 93kg. while eating only 1300cal per day & regularly going to the gym 3-5 days per week. Untill recently beliving it was impossible to stop putting on weight let alone lose any.
My brother gets married this Sunday, last week i was trying to find a dress & NOTHING & i mean nothing in a standard size dress shop would fit. I refuse to go plus size, i would rather kill myself. So i just went, you know what it cant hurt to eat a little less & go the gym every day this week. So im eating about 1100cal now & sure enough i have been at the gym 1-1.5 hours every day.
I lost 3kg! I now have 2 dresses to choose between on the big day!
Moral of the story, while eating nothing & going to the gym for 90 minutes a day probably isn't feasable as a long term program, 1100 calories just is not healthy. Its not impossible to lose weight & i am now very confident that when this stupid injection wears off i will be able to get to my goal weight of 58kg in a reasonable amount of time. hopefully about 10 months
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CrimsonAnimus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 October 2008 03:05 am |
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Awesome, Shannon! Way to go!
Best of luck to you with your efforts. I know you can do it! You seem to have a pretty good knowledge of cuisine, too, so I'm sure that will definitely help you out. 
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 October 2008 03:27 am |
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thanks crimson, you cant imagine what a releif it was to see the scales go down instead of up for a change.
I gotta tell you though, my attitude sucks at the moment, the only way im able to get through 90 minutes of exersise (cardio in particular) is to kind of chant to myself in my head "come on fatso" "only 33kg to go fatty" & other dehumanising comments. Its ugly to say the least.
i guess with weight loss self esteem will come too
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CrimsonAnimus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 October 2008 03:48 am |
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I understand where you're coming from.
I carry old pictures of myself around in my gym bag, thinking to myself, "I can't ever look like THAT again."
Often, I'll take my stomach in my hands in disgust, thinking how I have to get rid of this thing. And my jiggling thighs. The loose skin and stretch marks I have do not help matters. 
Some people have found that to be an effective motivation, but I think that doing anything just so can you be considered "worthy" is not very healthy for your psyche. We're already worthy, which is even more justified by the fact that we are taking steps to better ourselves.
The mind takes a long time to catch up, and I'm hoping mine does with time, too. We are both sexy foxes - we need to realize that!!! 
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 October 2008 03:50 am |
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| Yes, I agree, Way to go! Keep it up and we will see you drop the weight...
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KellyAnne1284
New Member
| Joined: | 8 October 2008 |
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| Posts: | 147 |
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Posted: 16 October 2008 01:04 pm |
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Hey Girlie - Depo? Ah, no. Listen, I went on the Depo shot for the exact same reason as you did...I really had a difficult time remembering to take my pill every day. So, I completely and totally understand where you're coming from. I do have to tell you, as someone who took Depo for an exended period of time - GET OFF OF IT!!! It is extremely damaging to the body in a number of ways. Weight gain is only the beginning. Depo is used as a treatment (here in the US anyway) for sex offenders who are released from prison. Now, of course they are given a much higher dose than what is used in our birth control shots, but, none the less - it is given to them because it is known to kill the sex drive. KILL IT. DEAD. SIONARA, SEE YOU LATER. After about a year on the shot, I had come to completely and utterly have absolutely no desire for sex at all. In addition, it really screws with your hormones. I would find that while on the shot, my breasts would be a C cup one month, a D cup the next, etc etc - always changing...it was the hormones making my body absolutely screwey. Also, it's REALLY bad for your uterus. My doctor once compared the inside of a uterus on Depo to the sahara dessert...dry and not very "full of life". Down the road, you will have a VERY difficult time conceiving a baby when you decide to, despite the fact that the company that makes Depo will tell you this is untrue.
Take my advise - find another form of BC and find it fast. I'm off BC all together now because I just couldn't take the hormones, but FIND SOMETHING ELSE!!! I don't know what your situation is, but, I found it really helped me to tell my husband that I had a hard time remembering my pill and asked for his help. I would keep the pills on my nightstand and every night when we got into bed, he'd say "take your pill" - and I did. Also, they have the patch (which I'm leary of) and this new Neuva (sp?) ring. I would highly suggest looking into alternative methods.
Ok, I'm done preaching now. It's just that the darn Depo screwed me up so bad, I feel very strongly about it. 
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 October 2008 11:25 pm |
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| Its ok i totally agree, its the most effed up thing thats ever happened to my body too. I have had to work so hard as far as my sex life is concerned. i had my last injection on august 20 & i dont plan on having it again!
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: 17 October 2008 02:09 pm |
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That's good to hear, I really haven't heard anything good about the Depo shot. I mean, I know it's good birth control, but the side effects are so huge, it seems it's really not worth it at all. I can't think of any woman who would be happy with no sex drive and an overweight body as the price she pays for birth control when they are so many other options out there. I pretty much just use condoms and use
well
shall we say
some of the OTHER entrances I have when I am fertile, and I haven't had really any pregnancy scares since I started being sexually active except for ONE time when the condom came off and then I just ran to the pharmacy in the morning and took a morning after pill (70 bucks and one day of feeling lethargic and out of it). But that was YEARS ago. And I probably would have been okay because it was already Day 17 of my cycle, my consort hadn't "finished" yet when the condom slipped off AND the condom had spermicide in it but still, I wasn't taking any chances. I definitely do not want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet.
Ever!
But I am so glad that you finally lost some weight! That's awesome. And I know what you mean about the plus sizes. I would rather kill myself too! It really does a number on your head! you feel so bad about yourself. I think of all the women that have no choice but to wear plus sizes, like there is no way they could fit into anything else, and I think that sucks!
And as far as the things you say to motivate yourself. Do whatever you want, but let me just throw this out there:
I don't think it's ever good to put yourself down or say hurtful things to your own self. Calling yourself fatty and fatso--it almost seems like you are implying that you don't think you are worthy when you are heavier. I mean, you probably wouldn't think that way about a dear friend, thinking oh look at her, she's a hippo, she's not as worthy as she would be if she were 50 pounds lighter. Right? So, why would you say those things to yourself? You are the dearest friend you will ever have, and the things you say to yourself are extremely powerful! Indeed, I think it is the most powerful thing out there. So, I don't know, maybe you could think of other things to encourage, like looking toward what you DO want (a nice slim body) instead of what you DON'T want (an overweight body). I would try to banish all thoughts of being overweight from your mind. And when you're exercising, you could think "Wow! I am getting more beautiful every day!" or "Yes! I am getting a better body every day, with every minute that passes on this treadmill. Come on baby, yeah!" or something like that instead of calling yourself fatso and fatty.
Like I said, whatever works for you, but I just wanted to make what is hopefully a helpful suggestion. I think overweight people get enough flak from everybody else without giving it to themselves too!
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 October 2008 09:43 pm |
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You have a point Straylight.
Shannon you are so pretty and your smile in the picture you posted in my challenge is amazing. So, yeah! don't put yourself down your to pretty for that...
My husband was even goggling over your avatar picture......I think I even had to smack him, lol.
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: 18 October 2008 03:41 am |
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Let me rephrase my last comment--EVERYBODY has to put up with enough cra,p from outside sources, nobody should give it to themselves!
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 October 2008 04:09 am |
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thanks everyone, you're all so nice. i know calling myself things like that is so awful, at the moment that's just what gets me through but i'm definantly searching for something that is equally as motivating without being detrimental to my self esteem. I need to get #%@&! off, that's the problem, there's not a lot of positive thing that get me angry.
The thing with me is, i don't hate myself at all. i like the way i look, i like who i am, i am a fun person to be around. the only thing i hate is being fat. i don't even mind being chubby. I feel like my fat isn't even a part of me, like i'm carrying around someone elses weight for them? it feels foreign & wrong.
every kilo i lose i feel more like myself.
I went shopping again today & i bought myself a few nice things, i'm lucky that i find beautiful clothing way more satisfying than copious amounts of food. I feel really positive about the new year too, i think im going to achieve a lot in my life in 09 not just weight loss.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 October 2008 12:51 pm |
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I know what you mean about getting mad. I exercise so good when I am #%@&! off. The same goes for dieting. I think I am so focused on what is making me mad that I just forget about food for awhile.
I also relate to the clothing over food thing. I would reward myself with stuff when I have done good on my diet- and still do at times. As a result, my closet is busting at the seams, lol.
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 October 2008 11:29 pm |
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Some photos from the wedding!
 
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 October 2008 11:43 pm |
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| You are so pretty! (Oh, and NICE cleavage!)
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 12:05 am |
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MidgeH wrote: You are so pretty! (Oh, and NICE cleavage!)
lol its the only advantage of my weight gain
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: 20 October 2008 12:39 am |
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| and is the dude with you your boyfriend?
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 12:44 am |
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| sure is
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 01:16 am |
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: 20 October 2008 04:23 am |
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awww, you guys look cute and happy together
that rawr picture is funny!
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 04:33 am |
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| its thriller! Everything goes downhill after thriller
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: 20 October 2008 06:44 am |
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gotta love michael jackson when he was still black
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 06:52 am |
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Straylight wrote: gotta love michael jackson when he was still black
I love michael jackson jokes
eg:
Why is Michael Jackson like Macdonalds?
50 year old meat between 10 year old buns
&
A child asks his father: Daddy is god a man or a woman?
Father: both son, god is both.
Son: Is god black, or is god white.
Father: both son.
Son: Is Michael Jackson god?!
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: 20 October 2008 06:58 am |
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LOL that mcdonald's one is great!
the second one is funny too, just not as funny as the first one.
yikes!
I am like ODB
i like it raw
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 10:47 am |
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LOL, gotto love Michael Jackson. That is so funny that you were dancing to it. The hubby and me were watching that video on you tube Saturday night, lol. The things we do to entertain ourselves.
The pictures are great, and yeah, you are so pretty. I almost missed the one with the boyfriend. I had to go back and look again. Looks like you guys had a good time. No wonder you had a hang over, lol. I think I read that somewhere else on here.
And yeah! no wonder my hubby likes your avatar so much. The Girls look good, lol.
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 11:10 am |
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cportwine wrote: LOL, gotto love Michael Jackson. That is so funny that you were dancing to it. The hubby and me were watching that video on you tube Saturday night, lol. The things we do to entertain ourselves.
The pictures are great, and yeah, you are so pretty. I almost missed the one with the boyfriend. I had to go back and look again. Looks like you guys had a good time. No wonder you had a hang over, lol. I think I read that somewhere else on here.
And yeah! no wonder my hubby likes your avatar so much. The Girls look good, lol.
Lol thanks i felt good that day, very satc.
I worry about the chest puppies & what will happen to them when i lose weight. I suppose i could always buy bigger new fun ones! The hangover was terrible, i was so irritable, i kept flinching when the phone rang at work too...the noise.
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Straylight
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| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: 20 October 2008 01:56 pm |
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well, when you are at a weight you like and feel good at, what do the girls look like then?
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 03:11 pm |
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I would love to have some new girls. But, the hubby won't hear a thing about it. I keep trying to convince him, but refuses to listen.
It's not like I want huge ones, just to be able to buy a bra in a normal size and not have to go to the teen section of the store.....gggeeeezzzz
I would think from your pictures, that you wouldn't lose to much in that area, but who knows.
I would definitely get new ones, if that's what you want....
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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Posted: 20 October 2008 03:19 pm |
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I think a lot of men worry that if their women get fake boobs, they will look all stupid and gross like some cheap porn star or stripper that went to some quack doctor and now has big old basketballs bouncing on her chest looking nasty. But if you go to a good doctor, you can get really nice, natural-looking implants that are configured in a very natural way with the natural teardrop shape, not the basketball shape, and I have felt a few fake breasts in my life, from women I know that just wanted to be bigger, not ridiculous, just bigger, and I have seriously felt theirs and then immediately felt mine, and I could not tell the difference. Theirs were not all hard like some implants can be. I think it really just depends on finding a good doctor that takes pride in making the shape of the breast natural and the feel of the breast natural. You have to pay more, of course, but it's worth it not to some some big rocks that look and feel gross, you know?
I mean, really, men watch porn, and a lot of times the fake boobs in those movies look REALLY fake and really gross and stupid. And I think that's what they are afraid of--those weird monster boobs. But probably they have actually seen several fake boobs from women on the street or women in movies or whatever and just didn't know the boobs were fake because the doctor did a good job!
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 04:21 pm |
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I think my husband worrys cause he is already a jealous guy, he couldn't deal with it if someone was starring at my chest. He would flip out... lol
I really don't think anyone would even notice a normal b or c size...
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2008 10:24 pm |
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Straylight wrote: well, when you are at a weight you like and feel good at, what do the girls look like then?
Thats one of the first places i lose weight, when i was in a healthy weight range i was an a-b cup...i get it from my mum who has been 55kg her whole life, she bought some boobs
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Straylight
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| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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Posted: 21 October 2008 08:48 am |
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there's nothing wrong with a b-cup! B cup is cool, it gives you something there, not flat, but you don't have big swinging udders.
It's all about proportion anyway, I think. My friend Kelly has a really nice, slim body, and she's a b-cup and I think her breasts look fantastic!
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Straylight
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| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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Posted: 21 October 2008 08:49 am |
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and yeah, Cindy, if you buy boobs and just get a nice, reasonable size, b-cups like you said, nobody would be all ogling. When your husband thinks about fake boobs, he's probably thinking about the monstrosities that MOST chicks get, but something subtle would NOT make people ogle your chest.
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 October 2008 09:02 am |
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Straylight wrote: there's nothing wrong with a b-cup! B cup is cool, it gives you something there, not flat, but you don't have big swinging udders.
It's all about proportion anyway, I think. My friend Kelly has a really nice, slim body, and she's a b-cup and I think her breasts look fantastic!
lol if i go from a dd to a b i WILL HAVE BIG SWINGING UDDERS! It will be like 2 socks with sand in the bottom
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Straylight
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Posted: 21 October 2008 12:35 pm |
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yeah, if you did all quick-like, but not over time, I don't think. You'll be fine. But #%@&!, if you want to buy some DDs after you get the rest of your body looking like how you want, I say go for it. But I am just saying, there is nothing wrong with B cups, they can be very sexy if they are proportioned right!
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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Posted: 21 October 2008 12:37 pm |
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I have heard those really long boobs referred to as "firehoses." If I ever lost weight and had that breast issue, I would totally get a lift and probably some implants, but a lift definitely. My friend is going to get a lift as soon as she is done breastfeeding, because she has some nice big boobs, they are just lower than she wants them to be.
Also, dig that chick in the orange dress in the thriller picture--I'd love a back and arms like she has, nice!
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 October 2008 10:53 pm |
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lol thats Hope, she was so so funny that night....she stole the remains of the wedding cake...she wrapped it up & put it in her handbag, we were like dude its WEDDING CAKE!!! dont do that!!!
shes like so its just chocolate cake (obviously she was pretty drunk)
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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Posted: 22 October 2008 05:04 pm |
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is it bad luck to put wedding cake in your purse or something?
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ShannonOfDoom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 October 2008 01:32 am |
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| not per say, but she took the whole remains of the cake it was huge
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Straylight
New Member
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Posted: 23 October 2008 03:34 am |
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haha she must have had a big-#%@&! purse
when my top advisor consort was really drunk one night he went into the liquor store to buy more liquor and then he just took a twinkie without thinking and without paying for it and then realized later what he had done. Then WE were going there like two days later or something and he was all worried
they're going to remember me, he said, they are going to arrest me
I said
dude, just tell him you were drunk and that you will pay for it now. But if he didn't bust you then, he probably doesn't care, and probably he knew you were piss drunk so whatever.
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Straylight
New Member
| Joined: | 25 September 2008 |
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Posted: 23 October 2008 12:12 pm |
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and while it has been said before, i thnk it worth repeating
ALL POINTS BULLETIN: SHANNON IS SUPER HOT!!!!
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