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Diet & Weight Loss Forums > Individuals > My Diary - Post Your Diary On-line > Infinite Disguise in the City of Angels |
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Straylight New Member 
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Obviously, this is the first entry in my diary. For those of your who did not read my introduction, I will try to put my goal in a nutshell. I have gone from being chunky to being slim, but I am not satisfied with having just a nice body, I want to have an astounding body. I want a body that looks absolutely top-of-the-line. So basically, I have gotten the BASIC shape that I want, and now I am working with getting the EXACT form that I want. I want to be very lean and sculpted, able to wear anything, and I mean ANYTHING without having to think about any little roll or cellulite or pudge or what have you. And I want to acheive this goal in a healthy, sustainable way. A few days ago a good friend of mine sent me an e-book called "The Truth About Abs," because one of the things I really want is a nice, sculpted, sexy midsection. But the e-book was more than just about abs, it was about how to get what I really want, which is a cut body. I found a lot of the information very useful, and this is the second day I have put it into action. The basics of what the-book said (and I would be more than happy to send anyone the file, because I think it was extremely useful) was that a diet of natural and healthy food should be maintained 6 days a week while one day a week is considered a "go-crazy" day where you can eat whatever you want, that workouts lasting from 45 minutes to an hour should be done 3 - 4 times per week, that food should be eaten every 2 hours or so throughout the day, and that the vast majority of the workout should include moving the whole body in as much range of motion as possible, using weights. The e-book stated that if someone wants to get really lean really fast, no "white carbs" should be consumed, this means basically that all the carbs one is getting should come from fruits, vegetables, legumes, etc, no bread or grain or refined sweets (besides fruit, if you could fruit as a sweet, and also honey, raw sugar, molasses, etc. are OK). The e-book also recommended having green tea with your first three meals of the day. The e-book also went into how important attitude is, how important it is to visualize the body you want, and really feel the joy of having that body now, and to know, like really know that it WILL be your body, and indeed already IS your body, you just have to do a bit of uncovering. This may sound a bit out-there to some, but I really enjoy that whole mental hacking strategy, and I have used it on many other things in my life and have seen superb results from it, so I definitely liked to see this e-book talk about it. (For those of you who had heard of the Law of Attraction or seen or read The Secret, this should ring a bell). I do not have a specific weight or pants size in mind, really, I just have an image of how I want my body to look. I am imagining I probably want to lose somewhere between 10 - 40 pounds of fat and put on 10 - 40 pounds of muscle, but that is just an estimation. Again, the number isn't important, what matters to me is the way my body looks when I am wearing my birthday suit (or something close to my birthday suit!) I did not take my stats yesterday as far as specific weight goes, but I can tell you that I am currently a size 8 - 10 in pants. I weighed myself this morning (and I am indeed blessed to have a really cool scale that also measures body fat) and my total weight was 156.2 with a body fat percentage of 32.9%. This means that my body is currently composed of about 51.39 pounds of fat and the rest is water and "lean tissue" (bones, muscle, mammary tissue, brain tissue, skin, etc.) Yesterday, I ate about 1300 calories and my food intake consisted of the following: (Please note that all times are "ish") 10:00am: raw apple 12:30pm: cottage cheese with macadamia nuts and cut-up banana (really good! Would have been better with honey, which I forgot to buy, but still really good). 2:00pm: finished the rest of the cottage cheese/nut/banana mixture and some green tea 4:00pm: raw carrot and some beef jerky 6:00pm: raw plum and some sesame/almond crunch-snack-things For my workout, I didn't come anywhere NEAR to getting in 45 minutes. I did about 10 minutes and then I was really, really pooped. But I did get in some superhard cardio, doing mountain climbers--which are great as far as bang for your buck and I also did a bit of stretching, some ab exercises, and some weight-liftiing. Again, like I said, not a long workout, but it's better than what I had been doing, which was basically really wimpy cardio stuff and isolated weight lifting, both of which, according to the e-book are super-#%@&! for getting an overall cut appearance. So, we'll see. That was yesterday, and I don't work out today, really, although I did some yoga, but I will make sure I add at least a minute onto my workout tomorrow. *************** Okay, lol, as I was writing that, i thought shoot, I should do another workout, just do it today since I only did 10 minutes yesterday. So now, I have completed today's 12-minute workout, and I am sweating as I write this and I am sure my neighbors wondered what I was doing because I made a lot of noises that probably sounded sexual, but man, the exercises I learned from that book are super hardcore, I mean you are breathing hard by the end of the first 30 seconds and by the end of the first minute, you are sweating. But that's what I like! And for my food intake today, I had: 8:00am raw carrot, salami, and green tea 11:00am raw almonds, raw plum, green/yerba mate tea 1:00pm cottage cheese with Tapatio, sesame-almond crunch snack, green/yerba mate tea I plan to have an apple at some point and then my boyfriend is coming over, so we will probably have some wine. I must say that I feel pretty good, and I have been okay with not eating any bread/cereal products. They say that once you start eating a lot of healthy food you stop craving junk food. I am pretty pleased because I was seriously eating candy and fast food every day and feeling like I really had to have it in order to feel satisfied. I also did my morning meditation and journaling in my private journal, and I think that really helps me to stay focused on my goals and how to get there. And even though I know they say that you don't really lose weight in a day, I still can't wait to get on the scale tomorrow morning and see what it says! Last edited on 26 September 2008 09:17 am by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, felt motivated to dance a bit because the breaks were so good. I think that either 3 cups of green tea a day is too much for me OR the yerba mate that I mixed in the green tea is too much for me or the combination thereof is too much for me, because I have sort of a jittery, slightly nauseated feeling and I don't like it. I don't have any more yerba mate, so tomorrow, I am going to just have the green tea and see if that problem gets eliminated. Also, I feel sort of horny, stimulants do that to me. I am glad my sweetie is coming over because I will probable burn some good calories with him lol tmi probably but oh well!!! it's my diary, baby! |
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Straylight New Member
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Well, day two is drawing to a close now. I actually did not drink any wine tonight with my sweetie, instead I had a carrot, some cottage cheese, and some macadamia nuts. I will be ending the day with a 560 calorie deficit, which is awesome! I am really excited to see if there is any change on the scale tomorrow. I know one day is not much to see change, but it IS possible! So, in the last two days, since I started this new program, I have had a 1,450 calorie deficit, which is about .42 pounds. Not bad for two days! That's according to the abstract math, we will see what the scale has to say tomorrow. And also, incidentally, I felt pretty fantastic all day, and I got a lot accomplished. I snaked the drain the bathroom, bought a sage bowl, bought some other items I needed around the house, mailed a book I sold on ebay, exercised, meditated, wrote, and got to hang out with my sweetie (and hear from one of my other sweeties WOO HOO!) I need like a collection of sweeties. No, actually, I only want three, the ones I've got, lol! I guess I could use more. Can never have too many men or too much money, i say. 0_o |
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zenobia Moderator
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hi straylight. lol- i like that philosophy about never too much money or men. i also like your diary. i hope you stick around and find this place helpful! |
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Straylight New Member
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Dude I think I am addicted to this site already! It's great! I am always looking for new things to get addicted to (seriously!) |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh YES! Praise the gods, when I got on the scale this morning, I found that I had lost .66 pounds of PURE FAT since yesterday! I am so glad I have that scale that measures body fat as well as pounds. 2/3 of a pound in just one day! And I know it was FAT, not water or muscle! WOO HOO!!!! I also took my measurements this morning and my waist is 32.5 inches and my hips are 42.25 inches. Sheesh, talk about hourglass--it's hard for me to find pants that fit. Any pants that fit over my big fat #%@&! are too big around the waist. Somebody told me that applebottom jeans are good for this type of figure--Costa Rican build all the way. As an aside, I went into American Apparel and I can always buy shirts there, but pants are a different story. Even the jumbo size don't fit me at all. And my sweetie said "don't worry their pants aren't made for women with your assets. What they need is a Latin American Apparel." I thought that was a nice thing to say but really, it would be nice to squeeze this culo into at least the XL stuff at the little white girl shops! Or maybe it just won't ever happen, who knows. They DO need a Latin American Apparel #%@&! it! |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator 
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Good job on your loss, Straylight, and welcome to  ! I've seen you post a bit around here - you have a good sense of humor. I like that.Good luck!  |
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Straylight New Member
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Whew! Now it's already mid-day, I think, and I have to go walk some papers to the car servicing place. It's blazing hot out, I can't wait until I get back so I can tan and read my book (Science of Mind, excellent book, highly recommended if you want to learn mental hacking). Anyway--an interesting thing I have noticed is that I am really not hungry--it's amazing. And I am not taking any diet pills or anything, the only thing is that I have been drinking green tea. It's crazy though, usually by this time of day I would be feeling really hungry and craving some nachos or something, but I am actually fine. I think I need to make myself eat something, so I will probably have something when I get back from that walk to the auto place. Maybe something calorie dense like an avocado and cheese. Mmmmm, that sounds really good! Oh yes, AND my ex called me and is coming over to hang out so I will probably crack open the wine with him, since I didn't open it last night. I get to add another sweetie to the list, so that's awesome. I am telling you, this new program is all kinds of good luck. It's raining men, hallelujah! :) |
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Straylight New Member
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CrimsonAnimus wrote: Good job on your loss, Straylight, and welcome to Thanks! I am a social worker so I have to have a good sense of humor to get through the day! Sometimes I see and hear #%@&!e I never wanted to see or hear, but you learn to laugh about it, although my humor can be really dark--what do they call that, gallow's humor I think. And it helps to be able to laugh at yourself too. lol, there is a line from one of my favorite shows, Absolutely Fabulous, where Patsy (one of the main characters says) "Darling if you want to find out the meaning of life, you're better off downing a bottle of whiskey, that way you'll be unconscious before you start to take yourself too seriously." Love it! |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator
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Anyway--an interesting thing I have noticed is that I am really not hungry--it's amazing. I'm sure your increased fiber intake has played a part in that, along with getting rid of the refined sugar in your diet. It has certainly helped my appetite! And it helps to be able to laugh at yourself too. This is one of life's greatest secrets, and a lesson that everybody should learn. Life is too short not to laugh. It's raining men, hallelujah! Where?!? I don't ever recall seeing this particular weather condition in my local forecast. Regardless, I'm sure the weather has to be pretty HOT for it to occur.  |
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Straylight New Member
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All right, well i went to trader joe's to pick up some good organic fruit and some good snack and meal items. I love Trader Joe's--it's awesome for cool food and good prices. After the carrots and almonds that I ate in the morning, I had: -a handful of root vegetable chips (very delicious snack from Trader Joe's, no trans fats AND a good ratio of fiber to other carbs.) For any sort of carby item that I eat, I make sure that it has at least 1.5 grams of fiber for every 10 grams of carbs it has. -a bowl of cottage cheese with banana and honey (what a treat!) -some salami, cheddar cheese, and an apple (great combination, soooo good!) And I will probably have some more cheese later with the wine, and I will still have a really good calorie deficit of around 500 if all goes well! At the auto shop, it must have been sorta slow because the dudes were all playing cards when I got there, so I asked if I could play a hand. It was a game I never heard of called "Con Quien." I asked if we could make a wager and they could charge me 5 bucks more for my car servicing if I lost and I could pay them 5 bucks less for the car servicing if I won. The boss said no, and advised us to just play for fun, but next time I go there, I am bringing some money. They say they play cards a lot. And then I went sunbathing and worked on my tan, which is getting pretty superdark. People have been noticing and making nice comments about my skin tone, which is cool. And I also dropped in to see my friend Nahid who works at the local 99 cent store, so I had a pretty #%@&! good day, lots of walking, I walked about two miles just around town getting errands done, so that was cool. Since I worked out yesterday and the day before, I probably won't work out today. I was thinking about doing a colon cleanse based on someone's posts on here. I have eaten so much horrible #%@&! over the years I am sure there is a disaster in my insides. I need to get more information from that chick. I need to find her on here. Has anyone else ever done a colon cleanse? What did you use and what were your results? |
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WannabeLoser New Member 
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Had to come check out your diary since you were peeking in mine. You are funny! Did you ever get to try the applebottom jeans? What is your goal for body fat %? I like the sweetie's quote about the clothing store not being made for women with your assets. HA!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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Yeah that sweetie is a good one! He's awesome. You look like you are Latin American, are you? I have never tried applebottom jeans, but I really should. Clash jeans also look good on me too (those are sold at a little barrio roperia by my house. I think applebottom jeans may be real expensive, but I have never even priced one, so....? that's supposedly what J Lo wears? I want my body fat percentage to be no higher than 19%, that's what I have heard you need in order to have a supercut appearance, but not lower than 16% so I still hold onto all my assets! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay so now my date is over and I am really glad because it was supercool to see that guy AND we got really far in Silent Hill. WOO HOO! Not much of a calorie deficit today, probably only about 200 or so, but still, it's a deficit, and I am glad! I even did some snacky stuff I didn't plan on doing like having another serving of those AWESOME root vegetable chips that I bought and I still have a 200 calorie deficit! Once again, can't wait to see what the scale says tomorrow! Should see some more good news there... |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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A colon cleanse? You mean like a detox or going to a spa place and having a tube placed up your apple bottom with water to push everything out? Nope, I'm a white girl....well French with a little bit of Native American thrown in there. My fiance was attracted to me BECAUSE he thought I was Latin American. He is cuban! I read earlier something about having a costa rican figure? Is that your nationality? |
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Straylight New Member
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haha shoved up your apple bottom, you're funny! Gross! No, I mean like taking supplements that clean out your colon. There is a chick name Dianna or something like that that posted about it on here. She used something called ACOG or something like that (I would have to cross-check with her posts), and I am thinking of ordering those herbs--I checked them out, and I know a bit about herbs as I have done some studying on herbal healing, and the herbs all were sounding familiar as far as beneficial herbs in the formula used in the supplements she talked about. As long as the pills are reasonably priced, I will probably go for it. I mean really, I have eaten a LOT of fast food and just veritable junk over the years and it would be nice to clean my system out and detoxify. I just need to do some research and find out more about the supplements. Yeah, you look very Latina in that picture--wouldn't have guessed French really but yeah I would agree with your boyfriend, I would have thought you were browner than brown lol!!! I AM Costa Rican, only half on my mother's side on my father's side he was from the UK. I was actually adopted though and I was raised by some regular WASP parents (who are awesome and I love them!) However, my adoptive father, even though he is a total white boy, grew up in East LA in a barrio and he speaks Spanish fluently just from being around Latinos all the time growing up and then living in Cuba for a while himself. I have been to Costa Rica only once and I love it. I plan to move there in the next two years or so with one of my sweeties (or maybe all of them, ha! have a harem like King Fracking Solomon) and be a healer. It is a beautiful, beautiful country and the people there are pretty politically active and stand up for themselves. They recently threw a president in jail because they thought he was being unjust. That's as impressive as the Venezuelans! (por la gente!) I wish Americans would stand up for themselves more. We bend over and take so much from our government, especially NOW with all the terrorist-fear #%@&! being drilled into us every day. But in other news, and this is big BIG news-- I got on the scale this morning AND took my measurements, and I lost another .66 pounds since yesterday AND a whole inch off my waist, which I don't know how that's possible in just one day but it happened! And again, I know the weight loss was pure fat because I have a scale that measures body fat and water percentages. So that makes a total of 1.32 pounds of fat lost and an inch lost from my waist in just three days. I am amazed, I am overjoyed, I cannot tell you how happy I am about this! It is so encouraging. I mean, really with those kinds of numbers, that is .44 pounds a day, which makes 13 pounds a month. Those are some good-lookin' numbers let me tell you. Every morning has been a celebration up in here since I started this new diet/exercise program. |
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Straylight New Member
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WOO HOO!!! I did my super intense workout today, tacking on another minute for a total of 13 minutes. It felt great! And now it is totally out of the way. I am going out to a party tonight, and I am ready to dance my #%@&! off. I already know what I am going to wear, basically, and it is basically going to be like a fuzzy peach bikini with some desert-ravey looking boots I am very excited! I think I am going to try and do the Blade Runner make-up too (I think that looks so cute!) And in other news, I am going to my parents' house to have my brilliant IT father check out my CPU because it's been making a weird noise. So far today I had 1) a plum and some beef jerky upon waking around 9:00am 2) an egg/cheese/avocado dish with Tapatio around 11:00am. My plan is to go tan, take a shower, go visit my parents, then come home, relax, and get ready for that party. Ironically, the name of the partner is Plump! lol, go figure! All those raver burner chicks and dudes are usually anything but plump! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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So how many sweeties do you have? Sounds like you are a pimp mama. Hey if you got it flaunt it! Congrats on the weight loss! Thats awesome. How come you don't have any pictures posted? I'm curious about that outfit...Peachy fuzzy bikini wth? Sounds kinky. |
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Straylight New Member
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haha, well i got one more sweetie at the party last night, so that brings the Sweetie Count up to 5. There's pretty much always basically like a core of 3 and then peripherals get added on or removed depending on what's going on. As Big Daddy Kane would say, pimping ain't easy! I don't have any pictures posted because I don't really have any recent body shots of me and you can't tell much about the body from the face, you know? The most recent one I have of me that's a body shot is from several years ago, so it's pretty much worthless as far as knowing what I look like now. Last night though, one of the promoters for the party took my picture while I was standing on this giant swing they had there, so that is a body shot . If I can somehow track it down, I could post that, although I probably have a goofy look on my face because I was trying really hard to balance on the swing and get used to how it moved. That party last night was really fun. I saw a woman there that has the best butt I have ever seen in my life, and it was one of those butts you basically have to be born with, you can't work out to get it and you can't eat to get it. She was a black chick with one of those great big luscious bubble butts. Man, I love those! She was wearing these great fuzzy pink hot pants, and when she walked by, I said "Girl, did you know you have a world class booty?" She got a little embarrassed but pleased look on her face and she told me that actually yesterday she had been getting really down on herself about her body, thinking she was too fat, and she said that she had prayed a little prayer asking to feel better about her body as it was, and she was really happy that I had told her that and she felt like that was the answer to her prayer. It was actually really cool. It was a great butt though--I stood behind her on the dance floor for a while just mesmerized by its beautiful jiggling. !!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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And WOO HOO! Since yesterday I lost another .69 pounds of fat, and lost a quarter inch from my hips, which brings the grand total to a loss of 2.01 pounds and 1.25 inches in just four days! This plan is amazing. Today is my off day, so I am probably going to have some pizza tonight from Rafallo's (the best pizza in LA!!!) and probably have some wine and chocolate and stuff. I couldn't be more pleased! Oh, and also, here's another little aside from that party which made me feel good about myself... There was this dude there that was probably the hottest dude in the place, just speaking of physical attractiveness. I noticed him right away but did not approach him. Later, I saw him sitting outside with an Asian girl in his lap and as I was passing by, he shoved the Asian chick off of him and pointed at me and said "This is your seat now," and patted his leg. Now, obviously, the dude is a complete prick to treat people the way he does, dismissing and commanding women, treating them with such utter disrespect, so I didn't sit in his lap, BUT I was thinking that usually a man who is that beautiful and arrogant and that much of an #%@&! USUALLY picks women for himself that he thinks are supergreat arm candy, right, because he thinks he should only be seen with gorgeous women because he think's he's so great himself, SO that was at least a nice compliment to me. Although I must emphasize that seeing what he did and how he acted, I think he was a jerk and doesn't deserve to have anyone sit on his lap, no matter how hot he is. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Girl I love your confidence. Can you give some of it to me? Bubble butts ARE hot...I'm working to get one...but it just ain't happenin! |
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Straylight New Member
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I just talked to Larry David in the Trader Joe's parking lot! I am NOT going to Trader Joe's again on Sunday afternoon by the way, parking is always pretty hairy over there but on Sunday afternoons it's crazy, it's like a video game or something, jammed, everybody waiting snaked in their cars all through this tiny, cramped parking lot, people have problems backing out, people blocked in, etc. But anyway, I was sitting in park in my car waiting for a spot to open up, any spot, and then some chick started walking toward her car. Larry David pulled into the parking lot and rolled down his window and asked me if I was waiting for that spot, and I said I was waiting for ANY spot, and he smiled and motioned like "it's all yours" and then the girl pulled out and somebody swooped in from the other side and took the spot and then Larry looked over at me and made a sympathetic like "awww" face and I just kind of shrugged and smiled wanly like "oh well f..ck it!" It was pretty cool and he was real nice, real polite. |
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Straylight New Member
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Also, the perfect bubble butts are sort of genetic, I think, sort of like breasts, you know? I know I will not be able to get a butt like hers. Whew! She's the stuff that fantasies are made of! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Ah yes...I will have my boobs done. I am not adverse to plastic surgery. Who is this Larry person? |
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Straylight New Member
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I am not opposed to it either, per se. Larry David is the creator of Seinfeld an the creator/star of Curb Your Enthusiasm. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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oh my so you are runnin with the big wheels |
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Straylight New Member
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I don't know if I'd say that, it was just a cute little exchange in the parking lot, but it was exciting to see him and have that little experience. Looking great in that new pic you posted. Incidentally, i love a man with a big butt, and they are hard to find! So you've really scored lol! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, so yesterday was my free day to eat anything I wanted, and I sure did! I ate almost a whole medium pizza by myself, had some Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream, some taro chips, beef jerky, a plum, and something else in the morning and now I seriously can't remember what it was because I had SUCH a bad nicotine hangover from smoking like 16 cigarettes in two days when I am not generally a smoker but it sounded good while I was out so puff puff So, anyway, I was a bit nervous about getting on the scale this morning because I didn't know how much damage the pizza and ice cream had done. I am pleased to report that of course the scale did go up, but I still have a net loss, even after that delicious white carb laden day, of .70 pounds of fat. That is .70 pounds of fat lost in 5 days! That made me really happy. This morning I had an organic nectarine, some green tea, and some raw almonds for my first meal and I have packed a bunch of healthy stuff for work. No white carbs for another 6 days, but amazingly enough, I am not craving them. That is the other thing I was a little scared about re: the free day. I know that usually when you eat white carbs, you crave white carbs. But it looks like the one day wasn't enough to bring back the cravings--or it may be that the weird stuff they put in processed foods is what makes you crave things and a lot of processed food is white carbs. For my pizza, I ordered from Rafallo's because I THINK their food is less processed than major chains like Pizza Hut or Dominoe's (plus, Rafallo's tastes better) and for my ice cream I chose Ben and Jerry's because not only do they have awesome flavors, but none of their products come from animals that have been treated with Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormine (rBGH) and so the ice cream is much more natural than some other brands of ice cream. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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You lucky dog. IF i would have eaten all of that I would be 5 lbs heavier by now. |
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Straylight New Member
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I was real happy, AND I have been cool today, not craving carbs or sugar or anything. Here's what I ate today: Morning: green tea, nectarine, raw almonds Mid-morning: chili, prunes (sounds gross but there was probably about 30 minutes between those two items!) Noonish: chili with avocado (I grazed on the chili really for the rest of the afternoon because I felt really full at lunchtime and didn't eat that much of it). Afternoon: aforementioned chili, some more prunes Post-workout: prunes, cottage cheese & avocado with Tapatio For my workout I did 14 minutes of a combination of jumping rope, mountain climbers, mountain jumpers, squats, one-armed snatches (sounds like vaginas with arms growing out of them, yuck, or maybe cool, who knows? maybe both), and pelvic lifts. I did a bit of stretching beforehand too. I felt REALLY tired after my workout, I just laid down on the couch after a quick shower and just relaxed for a good five minutes. That is until my thoughts turned all erotic and then I took matters into my own hands lol TMI probably but oh well, I am sure you are all used to it by now. And I have to say that I feel absolutely fantastic, like my mood is so euphoric, it almost feels like being on a drug, like Ecstasy or something, but mixed with Vicodin so that you are really happy and nice and empathic but also sort of floaty and mellow as well. It's like all the good effects of drugs without all the sh it that came come with it. It's great! Who would have thought that eating healthy would pay off so much? I am going to a party this weekend, and so I am going shopping for a really cute little lingerie/stripper type outfit to wear. I am not sure about going tonight, because that workout seriously kicked my #%@&!, maybe tomorrow or the next day. And my friend is coming to visit me a bit later, so that should be fun, but this one isn't a sweetie, although he wishes he was. We probably all have some friends like that... My workday was fabulous too, I got a lot of work done and just felt perfectly integrated in everything I did. Awesome! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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I am thinking about buying lingerie. I am just having a hard time figuring out where to buy it. I guess I should go to fredericks of hollywood or victorias. I don't have much experience buying nighties and what not but I figure it would be a nice thing to do for my hubby to be. He is into all the sexy lingerie . Any suggestions? Also keep in mind am a bit self conscious about my body....not really feeling my big legs. |
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Straylight New Member
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Yeah, Fredericks and Victoria's Secret have all kinds of cute things. And what dude DOESN'T like lingerie? I mean come on, they all love it, they can't get enough of it! I live in Hollywood so on Hollywood Boulevard there is like a whole row of stripper/hooker shops or whatever that carry all sorts of sexy outfits with all the accessories, collars and gloves and boots and arm-sleeves and hats and everything, that's where I am going to go, but you can totally find some really sexy erection-inspiring stuff at Victoria's Secret or Frederick's. Frederick's tends to be a little trashier if you like that (which I do!) |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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My problem is finding things that fit in the bust area. My bra size seems to be difficult to find. That is the main reason why I have never done the whole "sexy lingerie" thing. Victoria secrets stuff is for the smaller busted woman. Fred's women have ta tas |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Straylight wrote:Oh YES! Praise the gods, when I got on the scale this morning, I found that I had lost .66 pounds of PURE FAT since yesterday! I am so glad I have that scale that measures body fat as well as pounds. 2/3 of a pound in just one day! And I know it was FAT, not water or muscle! WOO HOO!!!! Although I am technically a "white girl"....I feel like I can relate more to the latina's body type. If they ever come out with Latin Am. apparel...I'll be in line. |
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Straylight New Member
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Dude maybe we should start it! I bet a lot of girls would be in line. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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I've always wondered why no one does that. Most curvy girls' clothes are UGLY!!! Or they are big in all places instead of just in the areas they need to be big in. Lets call JLO or salma and ask to borrow some moolah for the latin american clothing line. You are out there in hollywood...don't you know somebody that knows somebody |
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Straylight New Member
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Dude, that's really not a bad idea. I will put some thought into it... But on another huge big important note, check THIS out! (I copied it from a post I made elsewhere...) I found birthmother's identity! (holy multilation batman!) Yes, it is true. I had a #%@&! of a day yesterday--I had put up my info on an adoption site several years back, I don't even exactly remember how many, maybe like five or something. And I got an email from some chick named Anne (47) who stated that she knew my birthmother back in the day when they were teenagers. She was three years younger than my birthmother was. This is the first time I have ever gotten any information about my birthmother besides some basic stats like her age, ethnicity, eye color, hair color, etc. Everything this Anne said matched what I knew in the court records and what was written down by the social workers back when my adoption was going through, and also as she was describing my birthmother, Lia, I was thinking that she sounded a lot like me, so it was really cool and felt neat to hear about how she was, personality-wise and dress sense-wise and all that type of stuff. However, what was really pretty sad was the fact that my birthmother was evidently murdered back in 1986, in a cornfield in Illinois by some crazy maniac who not only killed her but cut out her female parts and uterus, so he obviously had some major anti-woman issues. He had killed three other chicks in the area and did similar things to their bodies. Dale Anderson was his name, and he was a County Sheriff jailer. He's in prison now. My birthmother was, as I said, one of four victims but for 21 years she was a Jane Doe; some farmer just found her poor body in a cornfield and no one knew who she was so the town just buried her and got her a headstone that said something like "Here Lies Jane Doe, Known Only to God," kinda like the tomb of the Unknown Solider or something like that. But when forensics technology improved, some detective opened the cold case, had the body exhumed and they were able to identify Lia and inform her family. Here is the link to the story: http://www.crimeandjustice.us/forums...dex.php Anyway, according to Anne, and who knows what happened, she thinks, although she was never certain, she thinks that my birthmother's family may have been abusive (several kinds of abusive if you know what I mean) to Lia and Anne said that the picture my birth grandmother painted of Lia was not very nice, saying she was a prostitute and so forth. Who knows if she was or not--if she was, whatever, she wouldn't be the first chick to do that and she won't be the last. It doesn't really bother me that much, hookers are people too just like everyone else. And they probably make more #%@&! money than I do, at least the real high-class call-girl ones anyway, but ANYWAY.... Anne might have been trying to spare my feelings too, she doesn't know me and not that many people want to hear bad #%@&! about their moms. But Anne said that Lia was just like a Hispanic hippie girl who liked to dance and had a really big rack and was sort of a badass, like brave sort of chick (although obviously not badass enough to escape getting killed in the end...) She was 27 when she died, which is younger than I am now, so it's a strange feeling to think that I outlived her like that. And it really made me feel so lucky that she DID give me up for adoption and gave me such a wonderful family. My adoptive parents are seriously the best parents anyone could ever ask for, I couldn't have hand-picked them better myself. I honesty consider THEM to be my real parents, whatever that term means, because they are the ones who raised me and loved me. I don't remember Lia at all, and it was sad to know that she met with such a bad end, but it made me feel happy that she was able to give me life and had the foresight to give me to a family who had the means to raise me (she was sort of a vagabond, wouldn't have made a good mother, really, never had a stable home or anything). And it also made me feel glad to be a social worker, that I had picked a profession that probably would have made her proud. So anyway, yeah! WOW! And on sort of a sweet, mothering note, it was kind of cute, my adoptive mom got really emotional when she heard the story and she got sort of tearful and she said something like "That's a shame that happened to your mother, that poor girl. And you see, that's why we always tell you be careful when you are talking to strangers, don't be so nice and trusting." (such the mom! like marge simpson ALWAYS!) awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... And on a completely OTHER note I weighed myself this morning, and WOO HOO! I have lost 1.01 pounds of pure fat in the last week. That is awesome! I am so excited! And I am so in love with the free day thing! And I am so proud of my #%@&! self because there is a carton of Cherry Garcia in the freezer that hasn't been touched since Sunday. UNHEARD OF! That's like Rush Limbaugh having Oxycontin laying around since Sunday lol okay, maybe not anymore but you know what I mean! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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WOW is right...that is so crazy!! What a horrible way for your mom to die, for anyone to die like that. It sounds like she had a pretty tough life and thought she wanted better for YOU and that is why she gave you up for adoption. It was really nice of her friend to get in touch with you about that. 27 is young....that is the same age my brother was when he died! My thoughts were the same as yours. When I turned 28 I was like "wow I've outlived my brother"....crazy thoughts run through your head sometimes. How did you feel about hearing all that about your mom? That is really deep stuff. I am not sure how I would have handled it. I think you truly are blessed to have such great parents that love you and have taken such great care of you. I know I feel incredibly lucky to have the parents I have. They have always taken such good care of me and made me feel wanted and loved. I think it is a shame when a child DOESN'T grow up with that. Awesome news about that 1 loss. Hopefully I can post some similar results later on this week! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member 
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Wow, I'm shocked to hear all that. That sent chills down my back about your birth mother's murder. What a generous person she was to realize she couldn't be the best mother to you and to give you to a couple that are such great parents! Do you feel better now that you know? It sounds like it was probably bitter sweet, because now the search is over, but a little too over. I'm really sorry and happy for you at the same time! And congrats on the fat loss! Lucky B****! It was good to hear in my diary that I inspired you to work out!  Maybe after you post later today it will inspire me to work out tonight, and then we'll just get a cycle going |
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Straylight New Member
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I don't even know exactly how I feel about the whole thing with Lia and the murder. Obviously, I think it was very sad and terrible news, but I am glad to finally know who she was. And it's also somewhat morbidly fascinating and I must admit it felt a little good to have a backstory like that that is so interesting and not just run of the mill. I am sorry your brother died at 28--what happened if you don't mind my asking? Sara: yeah--I went and did a pretty hardcore 15-minute workout after you posted that, and I was SOOO happy to be done with it. I was also a teensy bit concerned that I would be exhausted afterward, since I did it in the morning and still had the whole day ahead of me, with work and travel and all that, but I wasn't tired, it just felt good. And I think that two cups of green tea is my absolute limit. I had three cups yesterday and I felt like I was starting to get real spacey, like my mind was going too fast for the rest of me. I had energy, but felt like a total moron, so, lesson learned on that one. !!! |
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Straylight New Member
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okay wow, #%@&! I figured out how to post a picture! so like check it out Attached Image (viewed 320 times): |
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Straylight New Member
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umm okay, i way had the munchies tonight. Okay, okay, I am still HAVING the munchies tonight, and I am really happy because I have just had some cheese and that's it. I am still good on my deficit and i did not go eat a lot of carbs AND there is Cherry Garcia ice cream in the freeze that I have NOT touched. I am so pleased! WOO HOO! Just need to make it to bedtime! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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ah...that was my ex's dad's fav. ice cream. Everytime I would go to their house he would make me a bowl without even asking. He would always say "oh EVERYBODY loves this kind of ice cream...it's impossible to say no". HA I can't have ice cream in my freezer...so I have to give you the thumb's up for that one. Pics look awesome! |
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Straylight New Member
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Dude Cherry Garcia is the #%@&!! You're lucky your ex's dad would give you ice cream. MY ex's Dad would walk around naked, all fat with his gross schlong all hanging out. Because he was a NUDIST man, and we were all supposed to like GROOVE on it MAN, but I didn't like it. I mean please, if we have to look at it, make it look nice at least, fckn a! Last edited on 2 October 2008 04:47 am by Straylight |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Wow...a nudist huh? Why does it seem that the people with the nasty bodies are the ones that go around showing it off the most? I used to catch HBO and you know how they always have those shows about "hookers in hawaii" or "taxi cab confessions" or "real sex" well I was watching one of those shows and they had these couples that were "Swingers"...hey thats their business, but I did notice they were all older, saggy, and overweight. I'm not trying to say anything BAD about it...it was just something I took note of. I was wondering where the hot swingers are...I guess those are the ones that make the porn movies |
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Straylight New Member
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I guess, I KNOW! I want to go to THOSE parties--where are they? I don't know, Burner parties and raves can sorta be like that, but not prima facie and not all the time. Actually, I don't know if I would really be cool in an orgy, I've never been in one and it just seems like I would get nervous in the end. I've never even had a threesome, I always chickened out, so I probably wouldn't do any better with even more people involved. I DID go to a cuddle party, but that was nothing like an orgy, everyone's clothes stayed on and it was basically like being in a cuddle puddle at a rave except there was no E and you didn't have to worry about the cops coming. |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator
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I never know what to expect when I come in this diary...LOL. I'm glad you were able to find your mother, Katie. I'm sure that's a burden off of your shoulders. Cherry Garcia, eh? Never had that, but I have had other Ben & Jerry's flavors, and they are pretty darn good. My sis likes Americone Dream and another one made with coffee, both of which are pretty tasty. We have a ice cream shop not too far from the house that makes REAL homemade ice cream. It is beyond delicious, but usually results in upset stomach because it is so rich. I love their cake batter ice cream, though - they use real cake batter to make it! LOL Good job on your progress! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Hahaha, a cuddle party? That sounds fun! And you're sooo pretty! I would post a pick too, but I'd be worried that someone I know would find this site and go through my diary... ya know? |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator
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StuckSara wrote: Hahaha, a cuddle party? That sounds fun! And you're sooo pretty! I would post a pick too, but I'd be worried that someone I know would find this site and go through my diary... ya know? I've heard of them before, but I've never been to one. It sounds more like a sleepover with a warm, fuzzy and tingly aspect. I've been concerned, too, about sharing my picture online. Really, though, is it a big deal if someone I know sees me online? They're not apt to find out anything that they don't already know. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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haha, tingly... I just saw a post you wrote about how atoms act differently when they know they're being observed. That sounds really interesting! I wonder though how they know it's acting different if everytime they look at it, it changes its behavior? Also, I wonder if it could be because they're looking at it through such a powerful magnifier, that puts a lot more light on the atom, which could have something to do with how it behaves. Sorry, I'm a big nerd when it comes to this kinda stuff, I'm just very interested in it though. I definitely agree on the human aspect of it, though. |
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Straylight New Member
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Yeah! I think it's real interesting too. I love studying quantum physics--that movie What the Bleed Do We Know got me really interested in it. Sometimes I have to have multiple iterations of the information in order to get it because it's out there and it's sorta complicated, but I love it! Thanks for your compliment too, by the way. I am always careful about what I say in a diary, I say things that aren't too private. I am an open person anyway, so it really doesn't matter. But really, most people are not going to be looking to see what I'm doing, but before I post something, I am mindful about what I am saying. There's ways to get around just about anything though, a different way to say the same thing. Besides, don't you know that if you DO say something online, you can ALWAYS just blame an ex or a jealous dude and say that your account got haXored and somebody was posting as you. lol, at least that's what everyone says when they get caught. But yeah, I feel you, I wouldn't post something like really mean about somebody I was friends with or one of my consorts or anything like that, and I wouldn't post anything I did that I could get in big trouble for, you know? Thanks for your compliment about my appearance, too, I appreciate it! Cuddle parties are fun the one I went to had very strict rules though. Although anybody could go as far as they wanted with anyone (up to and including sexual intercourse), there was a lot of rules about asking. Any time there was physical contact you had to ask is it okay if i do this is it okay if i do that and there were some OTHER aspects of that cuddle party that were interesting, but you'd have to PM me for those, if you're at all interested.... !!! This morning I got on the scale and YES! Even with my munchies last night, I still dropped another .35 pounfd of fat yesterday, bringin my fat loss total to 1.36 pounds of fat lost in seven days. WOO HOO!!!! AND I have a date tonight (after a very, very VERY long day of work) and two parties I am going to this weekend, so I am ready to look as kickass as possible. I am going shopping for a new outfit tomorrow. I am thinking of going to Strings By Judith. They have some really awesome stuff there, and it's in Orange County, so parking there is much funner than parking in LA. http://www.stringsbyjudith.com/products.html check out their stuff, way cute and sexy and interesting... |
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Straylight New Member
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I am liking that black monroe dress, the blue triangle tri top, and that long open front dress. Those crazy pants looks interesting too, but not sure what I would wear up top... |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Holy #%@&!...there is no way that I could pull off any of those outfits. I say more power to you if you gots it flaunts it! I was a "sexy" witch last year. My outfit wasn't nearly as sexy as those! Have fun on your date GREAAAAAAAAAAT job with the weight loss. Kickin #%@&! and takin names! |
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Straylight New Member
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#%@&! it, I just wrote a bunch of stuff and then tried to post a pic that was too big and then all my writing was gone. FRACK! Anyway, I have been with one of my consorts over at his spot for the past 2 days and I have been real good with my food and exercise--he follows the same plan I do, so it's easy with him. He also has a pool so I got to do an awesome swim workout that I am still feeling! I left my #%@&! scale at work at the Redlands office, so I won't be able to know my progress until next Friday. That will be interesting to know how much fat I lose in 8 days though. I am sure it will be a real nice surprise. Woo hoo! My consort also burned me a CD called "only for the headstrong" which is a complilation of 1990s rave music that I absolutely love. i have been bumping it all day. So beautiful! I love that style of music more than anything. I started going to raves a little bit later than this stuff came out, I started going in 1997 and I like stuff mostly from 1992 - 1994, but man, it's great. And it's cute to think about my consort being in the 8th grade. he was a really, really cute teenager. He's a cute man but when he was like 17 DAYAM!!!! sometimes I think about his 17-year-old self when I am having intimate relations with his 29-year-old self. !!!! awwww yeah! |
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Straylight New Member
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and tomorrow is my free day with food, I am so excited to have made it through a whole other cycle. WOO HOO!!!!!!! Also went to the farmer's market today and picked up some great food items--carrots, strawberries, grapes, nectarines, and some pita chips. That was nice to get out there. Crowded though--sheesh! Parking was as big of a bitch there as it is at Trader joe's on freaking sunday afternoon. |
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Straylight New Member
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oh and i forgot to mention i went to one of my foster homes and the foster parents' granddaughter was there. She's five. She told me she liked my hair, which was very cool! It's great to get compliments from little kids because you know they have NO filters yet so they just blurt out whatever they are thinking! |
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zenobia Moderator
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i wrote a reply and evidently it did not want to be sent. hhh.. i'd try to sum it up, but i don't know if that's possible. so the short story, string theory  (a lot of the post i lost was on that sort of thing- quantum physics...)... next, being open around here- i'm both- depends on the mood, the atmosphere, and how i'm feeling at that particular moment...., and that site... well, i'm partial to donning plaid, short skirts, anything that ties up the side, and boots. man, you should dig these boots i own, i bet you would die. and these jeans- tie up the side number.... and don't even get me started on things that reall show the legs. i've gott 'em up to my neck.... lol- i've always been all legs, though. so there are a few things i dig on that site. oh, and you spoke of fruit... you dig apples (symbolicaly, they're neat, if nothing else ) try to get some honeycrisps. you wil die. they are amazing. oh, and define "rave music" from the 90s. just out of my music lovin curious self... Last edited on 5 October 2008 08:48 am by zenobia |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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your foster homes that you grew up in? I am a little confused. Were you adopted later? Can you clarify that for me? Maybe I"m just a little on the dumb side? I need some more music. I've been scared to download limewire and put it on my new computer. I don't want to pay 1 dollar for every song on my new ipod so I Just listen to the saaaaaame thing OVER and OVER and OVER again. I bet my workouts would improve with better music! So you bring your scale with you to work? I need to talk to the #%@&! people at my gym about if they ordered those calipers yet. When I was 187 I was at 32 % bodyfat. I am so curious what it says now! The calipers are much more accurate. Do you have a gym? Your sweetie....er consort is trying to lose weight also? THat is too cute! It is much easier if they try with you! My fiance could have a weight problem if he allowed himself. He has a huge sweet tooth. He eats less sweets since dating me. His dad was diabetic so he really needs to watch how he eats. Sounds like you had a good time! You have enough fun for all of us! |
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Straylight New Member
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those clothes sound cute, zenobia, nice. I bet you look nice in them too, especially if you are real leggy. nice! Rave music from the early 1990s is like Acen, Messiah, Utah Saints, Power Pill. I am learning more as I am getting more and more into it, but those are some big players. Acen was probably one of the biggest, he had a video on MTV for Trip to the Moon (a really, really REALLY good song). I think one of the dudes from Utah Saints went on to be in Orbital... and check out this picture... 1999, so it's a little later than the music that I REALLY like is from but it's really freakin entertaining to go look at: http://www.candykids.net/pictures/ck99/ !!! check out the dude in the back too, he looks like he's really feelin it! Tamale: No, I am a social worker and I work with kids in foster care. I am currently in charge of 3 homes (7 kids). So I was at one of those homes. I brought the scale to work because I wanted to have everyone be able to test their body fat (I work with all chicks, so they are all interested in it). I don't go the gym, I don't like the gym. I just work out at home using a jumprope and some weights. My consort actually doesn't need to lose any more weight, he is now just trying to get a sculpted body, so he's doing a lot of strength training. Yes, it does make it much easier when we hang out that he does the exact same thing I do. A lot of times hanging out with dudes is what makes us chicks fat, because they take us out to eat and then we get faded and drunk and before you know it, we're fat as frack and all #%@&! off. So it's great he is eating healthy like me, I mean really, we are on the exact same plan, so it's awesome. |
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Straylight New Member
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#%@&!, it doesn't go to the exact picture in that link. You have to actually click on the Oz party on 1.16 and then click on the bottom row, 3rd from the left (chick with blue hair and white earmuffs standing with a dude). |
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Straylight New Member
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oh AND even though I can't measure my body fat because the fracking bodyfat scale got left at the Redlands office, I WAS able to weigh myself on the scale at the Hollywood office this morning, and I weigh 151.5 pounds, which means I have lost 1.5 pounds since Thursday morning, but I don't know how much of it was fat and how much of it was water, but it was weight lost, so that's good. I know that at least some of it was fat, so... and I measured my waist and hips this morning too Waist is down to 31 inches, which is a total of 1.5 inches lost in about eleven days and my hips are down to 42 inches, which is .5 inches lost in eleven days so tha's cool, that's 2 inches lost in eleven days. Pretty good! I got a weird text from my brother at like 1:24am that I didn't discover until I checked my phone in the morning. It said "I gave on Russ and I under stan now and I don't blame you and I love you always." I don't know what that means, but I know my poor brother has had a lot of problems with drugs and alcohol over the years, and Russ is our cousin who is basically the same way. I texted him back that I didn't understand his text, please explain it, but I haven't heard back from him. I hope he is sleeping it off somewhere...I worry about him a lot, he's always doing stupid #%@&! that could get himself killed AND he's also tried to kill himself a few times, so I think I want to call him and just see what's up. |
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Straylight New Member
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#%@&! he's not picking up his phone. I left a message. I hope I can speak to him soon. My parents are away on vacation and I want them to come home to something nice and mellow, not a bunch of drama you know? (my brother still lives with them, even though he's almost 28). |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Can you go to your brother's (parent's) house? Thats heavy stuff....dealing with suicide. You def. have to be careful with that. My friend out here just lost her brother last year because of that. I would go check on him if you could. Most likely he IS sleeping things off, but it is a shame that he is involved in drugs and alcohol. I broke up with my ex because of that (the one that oinked at me)...he used to be into drugs before we met but was off of all that stuff for a while. For some reason he started doing cocaine. I did break up with him because of it but tried to help him clean up. It was a really hard thing to go through...because you really can't help someone that is into all that stuff unless they WANT to be helped. On a lighter note...great job on the weight loss! What weight are you aiming for? |
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Straylight New Member
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well, i am still going to wait and see if he calls me--he most likely is sleeping it off, and, although I know it's morbid, if he's dead, there's not much I can do about it now. I already talked to my aunt this morning, and she told me she would call once she talked to her son (Russ, the dude that was mentioned in my brother's text) and tell me what she finds out from him. We are all sort of used to behavior like this from my brother, usually he will wake up around 4 in the afternoon after he's had a night of it. And on a lighter note--I don't have a particular weight I am going for, I just have a particular look I am going for. I am imagining that probably somewhere in the 130s is where I want to be, but i really don't know. I do want my abs to be defined, and in order for them to show, I think chicks have to be below 19% body fat. and on a really funny note, I was just outside reading and this older man, like probably in his 70s walked by and so I said hi and he smiled and, in a really heavily accented voice, from Eastern Europe sounded like, he said "You are a very good woman, very nice," and then he made a gesture that is SORT of like blowing a kiss, but you actually say "muah", like when someone is talking about a food that's really good, sort of like an italian or French gesture, bring the closed fingers up to the mouth and then say muah and move the hand away, opening the fingers, like "c'est magnifique!". Does that make sense Last edited on 5 October 2008 10:28 pm by Straylight |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Oh my!! I love old men....they say the darnest things! |
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Straylight New Member
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i know and they can totally get away with whatever because they've earned the right to say whatever they want! |
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Straylight New Member
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Whew, I ate like a b.tch yesterday, but it was SO worth it! Nachos, ice cream, pita chips, toffee candy. YUM! I also had some strawberries and a carrot to sort of get some nutrition in there, lol! I also saw my friend that I haven't seen in two years. He's been in love with me, like completely way in love with me since he met me like 13 years ago. I have never had any feelings for him that way EVER, like not one little bit. I didn't talk to him for two years because he basically got mad that I wouldn't date him or throw him any sort of bone and then he cut me out of his life, which was fine, he was a good friend of mine, but I totally understood--there is no way I could be "pals" with some dude I was totally in love with, when there was absolutely no return of the feelings in any way. BUT ANYWAY--he came over and it was sorta funny, he talked SO MUCH about how he was over me and how I wasn't even necessarily that pretty or had that great of a body, and I was just some chick so he was SO over me and he didn't even think of me sexually anymore, and he doesn't even think about my butt or my boobs anymore, like not at ALL, like not one bit, and he went on and on and on about it, which was fine, I know it was cathartic for him, but at the same time I was thinking, for someone who doesn't think about my boobs or my butt, you sure talk about them more any other dude I know! And then, conveniently, he got "sick" all of a sudden and asked to spend the night because he felt too sick to drive. I didn't care, I said fine sleep on the couch, but I was like oh man, you are SO SMOOTH! that's not TOTALLY apparent. that's a good one, too sick to drive home. And then of course this morning, he was totally fine, right. And he had to tell me was so over me again, that he didn't even think about me at all when he was falling asleep. hahaha boys are so fracking funny! :) |
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Straylight New Member
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wow, just finished a workout and i need a shower! But it feels good for it to be over. I think my neighbor liked to watch me jump rope. He made it pretty obvious. Once again, I say, men are really funny. I am sure if I was a dude, I would love to watch a woman jump rope, bouncy bouncy you know? lol! anyway---work was good today, I got a lot accomplish and put out a big, fat fire. I should be getting a home certified in Burbank this week, so I am excited. This will be the first LA home certified in quite a while--I think the last home I certified was in January and what they wanted was so narrow, we ended up not being able to place in that home, they only wanted a White baby girl that was a few days old and up for adoption. That doesn't really happen that much in public adoptions, those kinds of cases are more private adoption agency things. But this home I am certifying this week will take a female of any age and a male up to age 12 or so (she has a 20-year-old daughter that lives in the home and an older teenage boy in that home is a bad idea). Woo hoo! AND check this out-- I went to the dentist this morning and the hygienest kept complimenting me on my teeth, telling me they looked great and I took really good care of them. She said she hardly had to clean them at all, they were already really clean. THEN she said they looked so good that I didn't even need to have the dentist check for cavities. I had no idea you could skip the dental check--wow! It's like a Secret Society of Tooth Greatness or something. It's like cops getting to run red lights. It's great! Now I can't wait for my next visit. Maybe I will get to skip the cleaning altogether! They should let me pick something out of prize box for the kids, then I could give something to one of my kiddos. Or keep it if I found something really cool... |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Girl...you are around so many men! I don't see men anymore and I definitely don't get any male attention! All of the people in my classes at school are women (well the prof are men...but they don't count). My neighbors that i seel regularly are women....I go to a women's only gym....I wonder if I have an issue with men or something! Yea...I don't think your male friend is over you. Pulease. Boys are SILLY! Speaking of boys being silly....I get the feeling that my fiance is not too fond of me losing weight. I don't know if he just doesn't care or what is going on with that. It is very weird. My ex would gush on and on about how great I was looking when I would lose weight.(the one that was obsessed with me losing weight and would oink at me). So I guess I am expecting some sort of reaction like that...but I don't get that from this guy. He seems to be worried I will lose too much weight. I have a theory. I think he is slightly insecure being out there in Iraq and thinks that I will lose weight and leave him. Yea.........and we see all the attention that I get from men! Silly silly boys Did you ever find out what was going on with your brother? |
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Straylight New Member
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I had an ex that got really upset when I lost weight. He was sure that I would cheat on him or leave him once I was thinner. When I did lose weight, he wasn't happy for me, instead he got more jealous and accusatory. I don't think your fiancee is this bad, but I think the same principle is at work, I think a lot of people worry that if their woman (or man) loses weight, they will suddenly be not good enough for them, and they will be on the hunt for someone new for their new and improved selves. Especially if they notice that the partner is getting noticeably more sexy or getting much more attention, any insecurity they have about themselves will blow up bigger and bigger until they are playing out all sorts of horrible fantasies in their minds. I think if you just reassure your fiancee that he is the only one for you he will start supporting you more in losing weight. Isn't he due home soon? And as for my brother, I finally got ahold of him this morning, which was a big relief to me, I had been really worried that he had offed himself. I honestly think that people should have that right, to decide when they want to die, BUT I worry so much about my parents, especially my mother. If he were to kill himself or overdose or die in a drug-or-alcohol related accident, my parents would be absolutely devastated (as most parents would be!) So, I was very happy to hear from him. I asked him to explain his strange text, and he just said he was mad at our cousin for something he didn't disclose and he didn't elaborate. So, whatever. I am just glad he's still alive. I called my aunt and told her and she was happy too, because she had been really worried. My parents didn't know anything about anything, they are on vacation in hawaii and I certainly didn't want them to worry on their holiday. But all is well, at least for now, so I was REALLY happy this morning to get that reply text from him. Thank you for asking about him! I appreciate it. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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No wonder you have such a quirky sense of humor. It is a good way for you to deal with the stuff with your brother, finding out the stuff about your biological mom, and I'm sure you see some crazy stuff with your job. I wouldn't mind seeing the world through your eyes! I can see how some people wind up being SUPER intense...like can't even joke around. You don't seem to be that way. Thats a good thing! I feel like sometimes people are too serious about things. I mean don't get me wrong..I can have deep thoughts about things, but I try not to dwell on it too much...it'll just make me sad and mopey! I would rather laugh and giggle! I love silliness! As for the fiance...yup he is due home this Sunday. I think the worse part about him being gone is not so much him actually being gone (although that sucks royally), but it is hearing his voice...he sounds so tired, so mentally and physically drained. I miss my man's "happy" voice. He doesn't sound like that anymore. It worries me a little but I know it is because of the 12 hour days and the exhaustion and heat getting to him. I can't wait to see him to make sure that he IS alright, that he is not going insane and that he can still laugh and be silly with me. I can take pretty much anything you dish out to me....I just couldn't take his personality changing. It is what I fell in love with. Enough of all that mushy stuff. We should stick with the bouncy bouncy jump ropes. SPeaking of that I think I would be uncomfortable jumping rope in front of men. I don't even like running in front of men. They are not very subtle about staring at my chest. That is probably why I work out at a women's only gym. No worries about that! |
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Katrina New Member 
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Straylight, you are doing great!!!  You are so beautiful right now!!! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Glad to hear you got ahold of your brother! I have major mixed feelings about suicide too. I definitely agree that it should be a person's choice... but it's such a sad thing. First of all the peopel that love you hurt over it not only because you're dead, but because they know you were suffering so much that you'd rather die... second of all it can be such a selfish thing, especially if there are people that are dependent on you (like children). My dad tried to kill himself a few years ago, and although he didn't die it was by far the most difficult thing I've ever had to go through. Just wanted to say I'm so sorry about your brother. Even though he has been unsuccessful, I know how much it hurts to see someone you love suffer that much  . I though the text meant he was giving up on drugs! If "Russ" does a lot of drugs on stuff, then giving up on him might have meant he was giving up on that world? I don't know, just hoping for the best .And congrats on the inches lost!!! I never measure myself, I just judge by how my clothes fit (especially my jeans when they're just out of the dryer). |
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Straylight New Member
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Argh! My stupid scale is still at work, so I can't measure my bodyfat OR my weight first thing in the morning unless I make a special trip to the office butt-#%@&! early which I dont want to do during the week. But anyway, I know I had a decent calorie deficit yesterday, so I was happy about that. Woo hoo! I also saw my friend D. yesterday, and he said he is starting on a new nutrition program too, inspired by what I have told him. He hasn't had any white carbs for like 7 days now, and he says he is feeling great, but he does miss beer. (He is a beer conessoir, or however you spell it). It was fun to see him. (He is just a friend though, not a consort, not really). His body is pretty hefty, all his beer-drinking made him go from being real petite to being built like a lumberjack. When I first met him, he wore pants smaller than mine, now he's big. I don't know if he wants to be really small again, but I know he'd like to have a nicer body than he has now. My brother also decided he wants to look for his birthparents too, which is really cool. He has never really talked about them before, or how he feels about being adopted. But obviously it means something to him because he is now wanting to find out. Maybe it will be able to help him out if he can find some information, feel like he is not so lost, I don't know. He has been really sad a lot of his life, and I don't really know why. My parents were always so good to him and me, they treated us with so much love and adoration--I don't know why he feels so bad about himself. It's weird--he's really good-looking too, all of my friends that meet him always want to hook up with him, but he only goes out with really trashy, abusive women, like the kind who give themselves bruises and then call the police and say he did it, or women that break his windows or smash his tires--whenever he meets a chick who's nice and likes him, he never likes her, he only likes women who treat him like #%@&!. Once, a long time ago, when he was really drunk, he told me that he was in love with ME, which I guess isn't all THAT crazy--I mean we aren't related and we used to be very close, so he probably felt like I was one of the only females that knew him well and treated him good, etc. I told him at the time that he was just talking crazy and he was my brother and so forth, but he kept insisting. I tried to talk to him about it later the next morning once he had slept it off and was sober, but he was not open to talking about it at all and asked me never to bring it up again. I also found an ad once on craigslist that he had posted saying he was looking for a date with a tranny (transexual). I also tried bringing this up to him, thinking maybe he was bi or gay and this was perhaps an underlying cause of a lot of his sense of self-hatred. I told him that if he was gay or bi or into trannies or whatever that we would all accept him, even Dad would (after probably being really mad for a few weeks). But he instantly denied every putting up that ad, even though there were pictures of him, his face and his total naked body on the ad. So, I don't know... he's a complicated man. Luckily he has been talking to me more and more, really ever since I told him about my birth mom he has opened up to me a lot. I don't know what he meant by that strange text in the middle of the night. I don't know what it is that he now understands and doesn't blame me for. I would like to think that he had some sort of revelation and will stop drinking and using--sometimes epiphanies come in flashes like that, and you do change your life from that moment forward, that would be really nice, and I know it would mean a lot to my parents to have him be clean and sober and most of all happy. I talked to my Mom today in Hawaii and she asked me point-blank if I thought my brother was still drinking and using and I told her yes I thought so, and then she got all upset. But there is no reason she should be surprised--she knows he drinks and uses, I think she just tries to con herself into thinking that every time he does is the last time, it's always some rationalization with her, whenever she catches him drunk or high, he always has some excuse-- oh it was my friend's birthday, oh it was the last day before my new job, oh it was so-and-so-'s graudation, oh my friend from out of town was visiting, and my mom keeps trying to fool herself into thinking that all of his constant drinking and using are isolated incidents. It sucks--they gave him $2600 to buy a new truck but made him promise he would stay clean. Of course he told them he would stay clean, but he definitely hasn't stayed clean, and they give him no consequences for it. I think they should take away his truck since he did not live up to his end of the bargain and used their money and then broke his promise, but my parents don't want to hear any more advice from me. They refuse to put any limits or boundaries on him, and I have told them this is really dumb and counterproductive, but they come up with reasons why they can't set any limits with him. Mostly my mom is afraid he will hate her and cut her off if she doesn't kiss his #%@&! and cater to him. I don't know what my Dad thinks, but he too continues to be totally permissive with my brother. Sara, I am sorry to hear about your father. I can't imagine how I would feel if my father tried to kill himself. I am really close to both of my parents. My friend's father used to always threaten to kill himself whenever he didn't get his way, real manipulative. It was hard for my friend to grow up like that. He said sometimes he wished his dad would just do it instead of threaten to do it all the time, then everyone could stop worrying. Its crazy sometimes! Tamale: I am sure it is hard for your man being over in Iraq. It is difficult for us to really fathom what his days and nights are like over there. Don't be surprised if he is a little down or takes a while to adjust to being off-duty. They have to do and see some really heavy stuff over there and it's not always easy just to switch back to civilian life. Don't take it personally if he seems a little distant or withdrawn when he gets back, and don't make him feel pressured to be happy or be his "old self" Just let him be however he is and show him your love and support. On another, happier note, I have a date tonight AND tomorrow night. Woo hoo! I am going to check out a new hookah lounge by my house tomorrow night with one of my consorts and then another one of my consorts is coming by in a bit to just kick it and probably drink some wine and play Silent Hill. I have been real good on my calories and have been eating a lot of the fruit I bought at the farmer's market this past weekend. I also went to Whole Foods yesterday and stocked up on a bunch of nice, healthy, yummy, interesting food. It feels really good to shop at stores like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods and the farmer's market, it feels like your're in on some big secret. It's great! My legs are sore from yesterday's workout. I love it! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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That's terrible about your friends dad! I don't know what to say about it other than I can't even fathem having to go through that all the time!!! Also, I can understand if your brother is in love with you, you seem like a very understanding and forgiving person (to any kind of "issues" a person can have) which is extremely admirable. Yeah, it's not exactly ideal to have your brother fall in love with you, but human emotions and desires span much further than what we are willing to talk about or admit, so atleast he said something. This might sound stupid, but what's a consort? Is it like a boyfriend? Haha, I know I've heard the word before I when I was younger and would play the Sims there was a guy in the Sim neighborhood named Consort Capp... so I should know... I'm really glad you're on this site, I never used to talk about anything but dieting! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Oh, also, it might be good that you don't have your scale cause since you've been behaving yourself, you'll probably see a nice big drop when you finally get back on it. |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh trust me, I am looking forward to seeing a big, significant change in the scale when I weigh in on Friday morning. This is the longest I have ever gone without weighing myself when I am trying to lose weight. (Of course when i am a fatass and not trying to lose weight, I never weigh myself). A consort is like a suitor, a man you are seeing. I like it because it sounds fancy. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Ok, haha, that's what I thought. And it does sound fancy! I'm gonna start calling Jason my consort. He'll have no idea what it means . |
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Straylight New Member
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I got it from a Neal Stephenson book when he talks about Asherah being the consort of Enki (I think those were both Sumerian gods, as I recall...) |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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yea it can also mean "husband" so you can even call your hubby that. Sounds like your brother has A LOT of unresolved issues, as well as problems with communication. He sounds a little like my ex. He grew up doing a lot of drugs and hard core drinking. I think he used to own a meth lab actually. He also never really talked about things...or he would tell me stuff in emails or texts. It was very difficult for him to tell me things face to face. Yay for sore legs!!!! Keep us updated about how much the scale has moved!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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TWO MORE DAYS and then I will have my #%@&! scale back and can do a weigh-in. Sheesh! That would be so awesome if I dropped like five pounds or something, but I doubt it--I mean maybe five pounds total, but not five pounds of fat. Plus, this is Day 19 of my cycle today, so I know that means my uterus is filling up with all its nutritious gunk. I just finished my breakfast of an egg with cheese and tapatio and just drank my green tea, so probably in about fifteen minutes I am going to go to my office and do a stairs workout before anyone gets there. (I live a mile from the office, so it's perfect for going in there, using the stairs and then coming home! And nobody knows that I did it! It's awesome!) And for anyone that is a bit confused--I live in Hollywood, and my main office that I go to 4 days a week is in Hollywood (that's the one that is 1 mile away). But once a week, I have to report to our sister office in Redlands (which is about 1.25 hours East of Hollywood). And it was in the #%@&! Redlands office that I left my scale at. Woo hoo! My Ipod appears to be done synching, let me check it... oh YES! It is done! I am off to do my 18-minute Stair Workout. I'll post when I get back. WOO HOO! |
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Straylight New Member
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Whew! Finished with that--now I am good until Friday or Saturday, thank God! But it did feel good to do the stairs, I can really feel it in my quads and it's great. And incidentally, I am starting to get some definition in my quads, the lower part around the knee, I can see the corner edge of the muscle, I am happy. And it's a good thing no one was around to see my jumproping because the girls popped right out, but I just kept going, because I was totally alone, so who cares. But I seriously need to invest in a sports bra. D-cup tittays and jumproping without a sports bra is just not a good mix! And my hands are occupied so it's not like I can even hold them steady. I got a Target card for my birthday, I'll just pop over and pick up a cute sports bra there. But #%@&! it feels good to be done with that workout! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Girl..D cups need a better bra than target. You need to check out sports authority OR academy (if you have that out there). I wear a 34 H bra...so needless to say I MUST wear a good sports bra. I usually buy the 34 DD's sports bras and wear a second less supportive bra over it. I have max coverage...nothing pops out at all. I've always had these big boobs. I keep hoping they go down with weight loss, but I just keep getting smaller in the band size and not necessarily the cup size. I plan on using my fiance's benefits to get breast reduction when he is home. I would like to finish losing this weight first though. Stairs ARE awesome...we have a set of stairs at the park that I jog at. I usually run up them two at a time and do 3 or 4 sets of those then continue on my lil merry way. You need to post your eats for a day so I can get an idea of how you eat. Do you eat more protein? I am not sure what that plan entails. I may have to check out the book. |
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Straylight New Member
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34 H! DAYAM! I didn't even know there WAS an H. Woman you could feed an army with those things! Is your Mom and Grandma like that too or what? Wow! Sheesh! I bet those babies get you a lot of attention when you go out. Holy moly! Okay, well I will check out Sports Authority and Academy. Mammary tissue doesn't change when you lose weight, unless you are starving yourself. If you have big tittays you just have a lot of mammary tissue. I mean, like everything else, they can get a layer of fat around them, but the cores don't change. And last night, my consort came over and I was drinking wine and we played Silent Hill and I told him please make sure you save the game he was like I know I know okay okay and then he doesn't save the game and then we get killed. 70 minutes of play for nothing. I always save my game a LOT, like a lot, but a lot of dudes I know don't bother. It's weird. It pisses me off. I should have paid more attention to the game and less attention to the wine and saved the game myself! Oh well...!!!!!!! If that's my biggest problem, I have a #%@&! good life, you know? |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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I think when it comes to guys it is almost better to just do it yourself. I miss my wine, but it increases my appetite. I will be drinking wine at my wedding though. Also,I think we are going to go out on the town a night or two when we are on our little getaway. We aren't going very far, just Dallas. We are saving the "real" honeymoon for when he is done with Iraq. Yes my mom has huge boobs. She is also very overweight so they are bigger because of that. She has a lot of back problems. My grandma also had big boobs. Several women in my family have had breast reduction. You know what for my size, I hide my chest very well. Most people have no idea how big i am... people usually don't understand why I complain about having a big chest size. They think I am a C or D cup. I don't wear tight shirts and the bras that are made for my size don't really allow cleavage to be seen. I remember the first time my ex saw me naked ( a loooong time ago) he said "holy s.h.i.t. where have you been hiding those) HA! I would MUCH rather be a D cup. I think that is the sexiest size...you can really work those ! |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator
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LOL your diary is so fun to read. I hate it, too, when you are typing a big post on a message board, and then you click something, and all your hard work is g |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Straylight wrote: 34 H! DAYAM! I didn't even know there WAS an H. Woman you could feed an army with those things! Is your Mom and Grandma like that too or what? Wow! Sheesh! I bet those babies get you a lot of attention when you go out. Holy moly! Okay, well I will check out Sports Authority and Academy. Mammary tissue doesn't change when you lose weight, unless you are starving yourself. If you have big tittays you just have a lot of mammary tissue. I mean, like everything else, they can get a layer of fat around them, but the cores don't change. I totally agree about mammary tissue not changing. I've been losing weight and my tots have grown! WTF?!? My D's now give me a double boob! And that's how I know one of my friends isn't eatting enough because her boobs are shrinking as quickly, if not more, than the rest of her body. They used to be like a full size bigger than mine and now they're about a full size smaller. I feel bad for her .But I also think being too overweight can make your boobs larger too, it can also change the shape of them... I mean think about guys, they get boobs when they gain weight. Wannabe- I have a friend that wears and H too! She also wants a reduction, but I guess the doctors she saw won't do it until she gets down to 140 lbs! Which would be tiny for her (she's 220 now).... I think she would look anorexic! |
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Straylight New Member
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yeah, I knew a chick Holly who had DDs, but she hid them really well so people were always surprised when they actually saw them. But Hs---man! I seriously don't know how you could hide those, but I guess you know the secret. I wonder what like Dolly Parton is--she's the biggest-breasted woman I can think of. I am actually going to look it up right now... haha!!! http://www.usrbingeek.com/a/000810.php it's a list of celebrity cup-sizes! Looks like Dolly is only a 40DD. God#%@&! I can't even imagine what Hs look like! That's it, I am doing a google image search...eh, okay, it's not really as big as I thought, although it IS pretty big! I went to the hookah lounge after work tonight to meet up with one of my consorts. It was really fun, and the shisha was awesome! Melon flavored, one of my favorites for sure! And it's so much better than going to a bar because then you aren't messed up to drive home or have to worry about your blood alcohol level. Very cool Middle-Eastern ambient type music in there too, I really dug it! Nice little Wednesday night outing! As for what I ate today, I had the following: -one fried egg (using butter to fry it) with some cheddar cheese -a few almonds and a few grapes -a whey protein shake -a few cocoa almonds -a bowl of organic lentil soup -an organic nectarine -a small piece of an apple -a bit more cheddar cheese -a bowl of chicken with vegetables and teriyaki sauce. About 1300 - 1400 calories. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Dolly was a 40 DD...how is that possible??! Her waist is so small and she seems so petite. That is why her boobs look so huge. Thats how big mine were when I was my heaviest. The band is what does most of the support of your bra. I have another bra that is 32 I. blah! I would love to be a 34 D or even a DD or 32 DD, that would be fine with me. My cousin is a 32 DD she had breast reduction. It looks great! She doesn't look as big as she is because the band size is so tiny. I can't believe dolly is a 40!! the bigger the band the bigger your chest looks. I have another friend that is a size 38 DD and wow she looks as big as dolly. Leann ryhmes is a 34 D. She has nice boobs! Thanks for posting your eats. That equals 1300 calories?!?! That looks less to me!! It looks like you barely eat all day! Stucksara: how tall is your friend? I wouldn't mind being 140. I wonder what the doctors would tell me about breast reduction. |
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Straylight New Member
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tamale, are you kidding--it looks like I don't eat all day? Look at all those items, that looks like a lot to ME, and trust me it is about 1300 calories because I am way careful to make sure I get in at least 1200. And I have used fitday so much, I pretty much know the calories in just about everything offhand, although sometimes I have to look. And I eat VERY frequently, I eat way more than 6 times a day. I am always snacking on bits of food. I think they call that grazing. (of course they'd call it something a cow does right? SHEEEESH). But anyway, that's what I do, I usually have some of food or my protein shake nearby, always sipping or nibbling, so I feel like I eat a #%@&! lot. Yeah, Dolly DOES have a small waist, she is such a tiny woman, and continues to be, even at her age. She must either have good genetics or take good care of herself or both. And speaking of chicks who look AWESOME for their ages--i saw a picture of Tina Turner the other day, that b.tch has got to be in her 60s, right, and she could pass for like 35! And her body is like WOW!!!! so fit! Almost like Jack LaLane (or however you spell it) style. i want to check Tina's cup size, after I post this I will check that list. I have been doing more research on modifying my car's engine in order to get better gas mileage. I want to read up on it before I do it. There's a device called an Electrolyzer you can buy and have someone install that can improve your mileage, up to even 300%. It works by splitting water molecules into HHO, which is different than water vaopr, it's called Brown's Gas, but anyway. I am REALLY interested in it because not only does it improve your mileage but it reduces emissions, and I am always wanting to do green things and plus I had a big dream about alternative energy last week (I think it was last week, it was recently anyway) and when I woke up I really felt strongly about it. And this may ruffle some feathers, but I will say it anyway, I think that if we weren't dependent on foriegn oil, September 11th would never have happened, and in the dream I remember saying that exact thing and then I had another dream like REALLY recently, in the last few days, where I was talking to somebody and I said something like for every mile we can travel using less oil, think of it as one less person dead on September 11th. (I might not be saying it exactly right because it was dream-talk, but hopefully you kind of get the picture). Anyway, if you are interested in learning more about it, check out water4gas.com. I don't remember my dreams from last night, and I specifically asked for a dream that would guide me and bring me knowledge and power, but so far I can't remember it, but maybe it will still come to me or maybe it went somewhere in my subconscious and it's working without my conscious mind knowing about it... This is also my third day of doing my colon cleanse, using the ACOG that people have talked about on here. It seems to be working pretty well, except my bowels have woken me up between 5 and 6 for the past two mornings. I am waiting for something amazing to come out, like something you see on those websites, or I have heard about stuff that looks like black tire rubber come out and that's what I would really like to see. So far, I haven't seen anything really unusual. I actually give poo reports in the Diet Pill Supplements Forum. I haven't taken any pictures yet but we'll see, lol! I actually drove to the Hollywood office early this morning to weigh myself because I was really curious. Now mind you, the scale there only measures total weight, not body fat or anything, but that scale said I weighed 153.75. So, I am REALLY curious as to what the body fat percentage is because that total weight is up from Sunday morning, wherein I weighed 151.5 according to that scale. I am hoping that extra weight is 1) uterine contents (because it is Day 20 of my cycle, and I know my uterus is getting pretty full), 2) water (because i did have some food from Tokyo Grill yesterday at the mall which I sure was high sodium and probably made me retain water plus I always retain more water close to my period) \ and/or 3) muscle mass, because I have been doing strength training at least three times a week). My inches haven't changed, so... #%@&! I will be so happy to have my body fat scale back today. Sheesh! You have no idea! |
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Straylight New Member
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Darn! Tina Turner's cup size is not on there. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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My mom did a colon cleanse and I just happened to be visiting the week when all the really nasty stuff was comin out. I know what you're thinking, and yeah, she showed me. And yeah, it was disgusting! It did look like rubbery wet tire... all black and strongly bonded to itself, but thin. One day it looked more sea-weedy (that was earlier in the week). She said on another day she actually saw worms, but i didn't see any. I started doing one a while ago that I really liked cause it made me feel better, but the entire time I was so terrified of seeing something gross! I never actually did, I don't know if it's just because I'm young and didn't have much to clean, or if I just didn't do it long enough. Keep us posted on yours though! I wanna try one again. wannabe- my friend is like 5'8-5'9. so that would put her well within the healthy range. |
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Straylight New Member
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I don't know, unless you have eaten all unprocessed, organic food your whole life, you probably have a lot to clean out--you're like 21 or 22 or something, right? Dude, you have 20 years of sh.it to clean out. Thats less than 40 years of sh.it, but it's still a lot of sh.it! lol! I am excited for gross stuff to come out--I can't wait! So far, nothing really that gross, and certainly no worms or visible buggy bugs. My freaking computer crashed the other morning, but I seem to have repaired a lot of it myself, which makes me REALLY happy. Having a computer guru father is awesome, and I guess I was able to access some memory banks I didn't know I had as far as how to run repairs. I know what the problem is--my CPU fan is broken, and I think the system is overheating--I KNOW the system is overheating. I am installing a new CPU fan on Sunday, going to see my father again because I dont have the tools to install the stupid fan and I want to see my parents again anyway to show them the pictures of my birth mother and aunt. Plus they've been in Hawaii and they bought me gifts so I want to go get those and plus just see them and show them some love. Well, I got my scale back today, and I have lost another .26 pounds of fat in the last week. (My actual total weight went down by about .90 pounds, but only .26 of it was fat. I am sure the rest of it was water.) So that is awesome! I am so pleased! That means that I have lost a grand total of 1.92 pounds of fat since I started this on 9/25/08. That is great! That's like about half of the fat that the average liposuction surgery takes out. And I didn't have to pay thousands of dollars for it either! WOO HOO!!!! AND that is also with having a total cheat day where I eat whatever I want and only working out 3 times a week. That is definitely sustainable! I would be more than happy to lose about a pound of fat a week, because that means that by the solstice, I will have lost pver 10 pounds of pure fat. (And just so that all of you know, 10 pounds of fat is absolutely the maximum amount of fat that any lipo surgeron will extract out of you, most surgeons pull out about 4 -5 pounds on average). Because TRUST me, I have looked into liposuction as a way to get the last few pounds off and recontour the body, and it costs around $5K for a localized area, and probably something like $8K to get that maximum ten pounds from all over done. I actually even had a liposuction consult APPOINTMENT that I got lost on the way to and then that very evening, THAT VERY EVENING, one of my consorts (that I definitely did NOT tell about the consult) just happened to ask me if I had ever read that e-book he had sent me (The Truth About Abs), and I told him I hadn't and he re-sent it, and I was inspired. So the way I look at it, I have seriously done about $2 grand worth of work to my body already. And I think that's really cool! (Every pound of fat that you lose is about a grand--think about THAT!) |
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Straylight New Member
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And let's see, yesterday I ate: -a slice of turkey loaf from Whole Foods -some macadamia nuts -some beet chips -some sesame crunch candy -peanut butter and honey (this is my new favorite thing! SO GOOD! And 365 makes some excellent organic peanut butter, it was so good I had to re-read the ingredients to make sure it didn't have any of those food hallucinogens in there that usually makes processed food taste so good. Remember that 365. Excellent organic peanut butter) -some more macadamia nuts -some dark cocoa almonds -some cheddar cheese And I went for a 10-minute walk with some coworkers and it felt great! Oh, and I just want to say this, because it was really touching and moving at yesterday. I actually got real choked up thinking about it this morning, it was just so beautiful. I have a kid on my caseload whose mother used to be a tweaker, like a big time tweaker, and about 4 years ago, while she was a tweaker, she and her son got into an argument and her son (who was about 11 at the time) just basically verbally let her have it and told her he was sick of her drugs and sick of her and sick of taking care of her and sick of all the dudes coming and going and he just told her he was done with it and done with her. So she of course, at the time, being a stupid tweaker and all caught up in her addiction, kicked him out of the house and sent him to go live with his father (whom she hadn't been romantically involved with for some time). So, this poor kid goes to live with his father, who at the time had a job and had stable housing and so forth. But, of course, the Dad and Mom did not get along at all, so the Dad denied the Mom access to the son and then somewhere along the way in the last four years, the Dad lost his job and lost his housing and started drinking heavily and got involved in fraud and theft and all this type of stuff and basically just became a transient, like vagabond-type of dude and wandered around in the desert with his son for like four years. And so, this poor son, you know, hasn't been in school in four years, his Dad is teaching him all this criminal stuff to make money, and the Dad is now a full-blown alcoholic and really violent and scarey and crazy and for the past about four years, the Mom hasn't been able to see her son or contact her son, which is largely her fault for kicking him out in the first place because speed was more important than him at the time BUT... She reports that she got clean about 3 years ago and moved out of state because she needed to get out of SoCal and away from all her drugs friends and drug dudes and whatever, and so she had been living out of state, not being to able to see her son, wanting to reunite with him once she stopped tweaking because she missed him and loved him but had no way of finding him or getting ahold of him. So anyway, it happens a few months back that the father of this kid (young man, now), gets drunk one night in a motel room and starts in with his son yelling and being a jerk and the son yells back and tells him to shut up and the Dad grabs a knife and attempts to stab the son, so the son runs out and doesn't look back and just runs and runs and is spotted by a chopper and then they get the story as to what happened and so then he gets taken into County protective custody and gets placed in a foster home. Now, the mom, who hasn't known what's going on for the last four years gets a notice, because the County is able to locate her by using their due diligence search databases and whatnot and finds out that her son is in a foster home and his father tried to kill him, and so she immediately comes to back to California and says that she wants him to be with her and she feels really awful that all this happened, but she is glad that she knows where he is now and she has visits with him (that I supervise) once a week. So, that's the back history, which I am telling you in order to tell you THIS: She visits him every week and is so happy to be seeing him (and trust me, I work with a lot of REALLY FLAKEY biological parents that do not visit regularly or show up late or show up high or drunk or whatever, so I have a lot of respect for biological parents who come to their visits and are appropriate and loving, etc.) And anyway, this last week she takes a bus to the visit and she gets confused and the bus drops her off like 2.5 miles from our office. So, she calls the office and she's asking how to get there, and so we're all helping her giving her directions, and she walks 2.5 miles in 45 minutes in 98 degree heat, and she shows up at the door beet red, sweating bullets, breathing heavy, and she's like "I'm not late, am I? I get to see him right?" And mind you, this chick is out of shape, overweight, in her 40s and probably hasn't exercised like that since high school. I was so touched by her determination and for her intense love for her son, that she wanted to see him so bad that she went through all that to make sure she was not late and got her full hour with him. I have been in this business for about 7 years, and I have never seen a biological parent with that amount of dedication and devotion to their children. I don't think her son fully appreciated what she had done (because kids rarely do), but I definitely did. It was truly beautiful, and I felt so happy and lucky to have a job where I get to see things like this. Now, I get to see some really ugly things too, but I also get to see very beautiful things, and this was definitely one of them. |
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trimB Distinguished Member 
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Thanks for the post. Very nice. Also wanted to say that I was inspired by your ideas on visualizing positive things. I've tried it a couple of times the past few days, and it's very helpful. |
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Straylight New Member
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Glad you liked it--I REALLY like to do visualization, it's awesome! Especially when you really feel like you're there! |
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Straylight New Member
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oh yes! On the scale this morning, I have lost another .07 pounds of fat! Altogether my total weight has dropped 5.60 pounds and I have lost 1.99 pounds of fat in the last 16 days. So, that means I must have lost about 3.61 pounds of water during this time. I want to research water weight loss, as it is something I have never really understood but heard a lot about. Yesterday i ate: -a fried egg with cheddar cheese and tapatio (fried with butter) -a whey protein drink -some macadamia nuts -some steamed vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots), chicken breast and cheddar cheese -peanut butter and honey (oh YES!) -some more cheese -a few more macadamia nuts Today, I haven't been so hungry, and I need to make sure I get in another 600 calories before the day ends... |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Keep up the good work! |
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Straylight New Member
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Ahhh, YES I just made some more steamed vegetables with a LOT of cheese and some butter and some tapatio. Now I just need 200 more calories. So I can probably have some nuts later and I will be good! |
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Straylight New Member
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oooh man, I just made a new dish for my last meal of the day before i take my DELICIOUS colon clease pills lol (actually they don't taste like anything) but the dish is cheddar cheese melted over crushed macadamia nuts (cheese is organic from whole foods). man oh man is it GOOD!!!! WOW!!!! This could be one of my new favorites. Right up there with peanut butter and honey. |
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Straylight New Member
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oh F.CK YEAH! One of my consorts just called me out of the blue and asked me to go to this forest party with him. NICE! I was expecting just to chill out tonight and relax, but this is even WAY BETTER! SCORE!!!!! I am so happy! I love being at parties outdoors with my consorts, so romantic and fun! AND I am sure I will burn a buttload of calories dancing like I wouldn't have done if I had just chilled tonight. YES! thank you! thank you! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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I have never heard of a forest party. What exactly is that?? Sounds kinda kinky. |
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Straylight New Member
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actually, it wasn't forest, it was desert. It is an all-night party out in the desert where they play psytrance and everyone has a really great time! It was an AWESOME party, the music was excellent, and my consort was adorable and attentive. Gotta love thoseFilipinos that look like ten years younger than they really are! Yummy!!! I wonder how you say yummy in tagalog.... let me go look...linamnam. (that means delicious anyway). There was even a bed with a canopy that somebody had schlepped out there. Needless to say, me and my consort took full cuddle advantage of that bed, and it felt so cool to be in bed in the desert with the stars and crazy psytrance music playing. And in the morning, he went and got me green tea, which was really cool! that is probably the last outdoor party i will go to though, it is bloody cold out there. oh yeah, AND I got the take the world's most uncomfortable sh.it in the portapotties thanks to my colon cleanse. Yikes! But I made it, and now I am home and showered, and my consort invited me to go to another party with him at the beach today. We'll see if I feel up to it, because I haven't slept yet, and that needs to happen. |
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Straylight New Member
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and oh PRAISE THE LORD, the scale blessed me this morning when it informed me that I now have only 47.98 pounds of fat. That is a big drop from yesterday. That's like 1.42 pounds of pure fat gone! YES! I was so happy to see the scale say that this morning. So, that means that in 17 days, I have lost 3.41 pounds of fat and have lost 5.8 pounds in all (so that makes about 2.39 pounds of water weight lost). AND it is day 23 of my cycle, a time when I am usually really bloated and showing higher readings on the scale, so I can't wait to see what the scale says after all my uterine contents have been emptied out. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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I gotta give you props for being able to use the bathroom in a porta potty. I would have just been constipated and miserable all night. That is awesome about the fat loss. You are doing so great!! I am very impressed. I wish I could get my bodyfat %. It really annoys me that my gym still doesn't have calipers. They were supposed to get them the last week of September...but yea...well you know how that goes. Sounds like you had a blast last night. I was in bed by 10 PM!! HA! I think I'm preparing for my 80's or something. |
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Straylight New Member
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no dude, if he hadn't invited me to that party, i would have been in bed by 10pm too, or at least really close to dozing off on the couch watching my beloved Simpsons... I am so used to porta potties, I just try to think of them as my own bathroom at home when I am in there. I go to so many outdoor events, I had to get used to doing everything in there, including dealing with feminine issues as well, you know? It was a matter of necessity. I felt a little embarrassed though because my consort was so nice and walked to the bathroom with me every time and that time I was takinga #%@&! I was like oh great now he totally knows what I was doing in here. oh well so I walked out and said "god#%@&!, i feel ten pounds lighter!" and he just laughed and said, "oh okay, I was thinking--did she sneak by me and go back to the dance pond without me seeing her?" colon cleanse go go go!!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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I also got to talk to my sweet mom today--her and my Dad just got back from Hawaii at midnight last night. It was nice to talk to her, my mom is such a great mom, I appreciate her more and more as time goes on. She is just a genuinely sweet and honest chick, a real class act, you know, somebody that anybody could completely trust. She always thinks about other people and she always keeps a sunny attitude (okay not ALWAYS, but she tries really hard to do this all the time). |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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That is what I do...when I feel that I am in an awkward situation I crack a joke. Jokes and a sense of humor are the best way to handle things! Double kudos for playing it off! (about the portapotty deal) Your mom sounds like a real sweet lady. I think as we get older we DO appreciate our parents more. I know I do! I argued a lot with them (especially my dad) growing up, but now I miss them so much! I didn't see them for 4 or 5 months and now they are in town helping me with wedding stuff and I've been over there every night! Maybe I need a colon cleanse. I don't use the bathroom often enough. |
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Straylight New Member
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I would totally recommend the colon cleanse. I have liked it. And although I am not sure how much it has helped my weight loss, I am sure it has helped at least a little. Plus, I think it's good to clean it out anyway, even if you aren't concerned with weight loss. I have heard that people can carry up to 20 pounds of #%@&! around in their colon/intenstines. Who wants all that toxic waste (literally) sitting around inside of them? |
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MidgeH Distinguished Member 
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Katie, how long is this cleanse? I've been following your...um...progress, and although this is something I'm interested in it sound like something that might be easier done (for me anyway) over a vacation week. I was just curious... |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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http://www.dannebohm.com/johnwayne&the44lbbowelmovement It is said that when the beloved singer/actor Elvis Presley died, the autopsy revealed that his bloated body had about 80 to 90 pounds of impacted fecal matter in his digestive tract! (that is a quote) I think I might try this colon cleanse. I think I will also wait til AFTER my honeybuns is gone. astrologyzine.com/constipation.shtml |
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Straylight New Member
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Midge: The clenase is about a month, and so far I think I have done 5 days or 6 days or something like that. The bottle is about a month's supply, so I am just taking them until they are gone. I don't think you really need to to do it over a vacation, I was USUALLY able to find a bathroom when I needed one. (One time this week though, I had a 1.5 hour commute to work, and I had to go really bad from the colon cleanse, and I pulled off to find a gas station, but the bathroom there was out of order, then I ran across the street to Burger King but they only had pay bathrooms, and I didn't have any quarters on me, so, I actually had to sh.it in the parking lot by this palm tree that had really long fronds that reached all the way to the ground and provided good cover. But uh yeah, that was not the greatest thing. But that was because I was on a 1.5 hour commute AND the stupid gas station and Burger King bathrooms were showing me no love. That seems like a pretty rare confluence events, but it's true, if I HAD been on vacation form work, I wouldn't have been having to make that 1.5 hour commute! Otherwise though, I haven't had any big problems. And that wasn't that big of a problem, at least not to me. But it probably would be to a lot of people. Anyway... I guess the bottom is line is YES do it while you're on vacation to avoid any palm tree parking lot dumps. Tamale: That is disgusting about Elvis! 90 pounds of fecal matter, yuck! That guy ate SO bad and drank a lot though and didn't he do a lot of pills and stuff? |
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Straylight New Member
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Ahhhh, today was my free day for the week for eating, so I indulged in LOTS of foods that I love--pita chips, Ben and Jerry's (Cherry Garcia AND Chocolate Fudge Brownie), chili fries, and a jalapeno burger. Oh yeah, and I also had some riesling wine. Ah man. And my stomach is definitely full but not uncomfortable (I used to eat so much on my free days that my stomach would hurt). So, I am pretty sure the scale is going to have a higher reading tomorrow, but it was worth it! It feels good to have those foods I like! I spent a lot of the day sleeping (because I didn't turn in until 8:30am or so), and then I got up, made some phone calls, went to the market and to get my burger and chili fries, and then i've basically been chilling out watching the simpsons. I feel so great and rested and full and happy. AND I don't have to work until 1:00pm tomorrow, so I can sleep in tomorrow. (woo hoo!) |
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Straylight New Member
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There was also a guy who did some really cool liquid dancing last night. If you don't know what it is, you can check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3T3JywC1tw&feature=related Of course I had to talk to the guy because come on---gotta love someone who can move their body like that. I got his number, so maybe he will become another consort. Beautiful white dude with green eyes and dressed real old school raver like I like ( hoodie, gloves, big huge pants--no candy though!) |
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Straylight New Member
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Whoa, so my big food fest yesterday totally DID make the scale move up a LOT this morning, but I am not worried, I am sure it will drop back down in the next few days. But anyway, this morning it did say that I had 52.1 pounds of fat (33.4%) and I weighed 156 pounds total. |
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Straylight New Member
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So, Tamale I think you said last week or the week before when I posted about my free day, something like you're so lucky, if I ate that much, I would gain like 5 pounds. But I've got you beat, the scale said it made me put on almost 6 pounds, but like I said, I am not worried, I am sure it will drop down again in the next few days. Also, today is Day 24 of my cycle, so I could start bleeding any day now and that will of course release water and make the scale drop too. So part of that weight could also be lots of uterine content because it's definitely at capacity! |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh yeah, I need to go shopping today. Probably go to Trader Joe's after my morning workout, and I also want to get a manicure/pedicure. There's a place by my house that does for just $18 for both hands and feet! It's awesome! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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wow 18 bucks for both?!!? Now thats a steal...especially for out there. Isn't EVERYTHING more expensive in cali? The liquid dancing IS cool. I used to work at the deaf school here in Texas and a lot of the hard of hearing and deaf kids were really into that. They would have dance offs and try to out dance each other. They were REALLY good. Deaf kids are great at mimicking. Also, they can feel the beat and vibrations. I will never forget my first day in college. We had orientation and this black chick got on the stage and said "white people and black people dance different...white people dance to the WORDS of the song...black people dance to the BEAT of the song". I remember cracking up at that. It reminds me of deaf kids though. They don't HEAR the words so they dance to the BEAT. How cool is that? Yea thats just water weight. I feel like I am a bit backed up and that is why I don't lose more weight. I am def. going to try the colon cleanse after honeybuns is shipped back to the desert. |
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Straylight New Member
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And what do the LATINOS dance to, I wonder? And what about the Asians.... hmmm.... Yeah, the colon cleanse is great but #%@&! it it wakes me up anywhere from 5 - 7am and then I am just up. But oh well. Whatever, that's fine. Then I get a lot of stuff done in the early morning before work (cleaning, workout, shower, Internet fun, etc.) and then I feel like I have accomplished a lot before I go to work. Lol, I am already thinking about my next vacation though--believe that--and I just got back from vacation. I have 11 hours of PTO, that's a whole day. So, I should probably be able to take my next vacation around the new year, which isn't that far away. Well, wait a minute, let me think... I have 11 hours right now, and by the end of the month, I'll have at least 23 hours, so that's like almost three days worth of time off. Then by the end of November, I'll have at least 35 hours. Okay, then by the end of December, I will have at least 47 hours, and that's about 6 days, and we have the 1st off for January, so I can attach that to my vacation and make it 7 days. So let me see...I can take a vacation from January 1st - January 11th and come back to work on January 12th. So, that's pretty good! I'm going to do it! I will put in my vacation request today probably! |
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Straylight New Member
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And how do you mean "backed up," like retaining water? Ready to bleed? Backed up in the colon? haha, you can PM me if you don't want to post it for everyone to see. |
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Straylight New Member
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Whew, I just did a 21-minute workout that was a combination of ab exercises, push-ups, whole body dead-lifts, and sprinting. Whew! I am tired and sweaty, but #%@&! it feels good! |
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Straylight New Member
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I have never done sprinting before, it's great! |
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lastten New Member
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I love your diary and find it very motivating. I have the same measurements and weight as you and am also trying to "firm" up the parts that jiggle in the wrong places! I loved all your talk about jeans, the story of my life as well...fit in the butt gap - in the back  I recently found some jeans by Levi (curvy boot cut) that fit great...but they aren't sexy at all.I think it is so wonderful you work as a social worker. I grew up in the "system" as well in SoCal and those kids really need all the help they can get! A great video I do is Jillian Michaels 30 day shred..it kicks your A$$ and is only 20 min long. Hubby loves to watch me do lvl 2 b/c it has a lot of mountain climbers lol. Anywho, keep up the great work and can't wait to hear the next adventure! |
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Straylight New Member
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Lastten, thank you, I had no idea you were reading my diary. Glad that you like it and find it motivating. How long ago did you exit the system? What were your experiences? Mostly good, mostly bad? What did you think of your foster parents? Your County social worker? Were you able to be reunited with your family or did you have to grow up in foster care? I just got back from getting my nails done, they look great. I really think I am going to start bleeding soon, I have that really heavy, dull pain feeling that I get when the blood is almost on its way. So, probably today or tomorrow, I should start, and that will be a relief. I hate that heavy, full feeling right before the blood comes. I think I am going to try and go to Trader Joe's right now, hopefully the parking lot will be manageable. |
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Straylight New Member
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I finished training some prospective foster parents and it went really well. They are a really sweet couple, and they are open to adoption. They actually reminded me of my parents, which is a good thing, as my parents are superawesomecool. It was a good day, I have a good calorie deficit of probably around at least 300, so that is very good. The blood didn't come yet, maybe it will come tomorrow. |
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Straylight New Member
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oh, and here is what I ate today: -egg fried with butter and tapatio -some carrots -a nectarine -a banana -a handful of raw almonds -some cotttage cheese with honey on it -nachos (soy/flax chips, tapatio, cheddar cheese) Total calories: probably somewhere around 1550. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I think you are an extremely wonderful person for doing what you do. I was just thinking today about how much I would like to be a social worker, especially with children. But I really don't think I could handle it! Sometimes I think I'd rather just be ignorant and blind (I know, awful) but then when I hear or see a child struggling because of their own parents, I just want to do something. I think it takes a very old soul to do what you do everyday! |
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Straylight New Member
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well thank you very much. I have always felt like an old soul, actually, even when I was a little girl, so I probably am! The scale today went down (thank God), and now it says I have 50.97 pounds of fat (which is a drop of about 1.04 pounds of fat since yesterday), 154 total weight, and 33.1% body fat. I think I am still adjusting after my big free day that made me gain six pounds (sheesh!) Also, it is now Day 25 of my cycle, so I am dealing with all that material in there making me weigh more. I can't wait to get rid of it. Also, this morning I did NOT have a big cr.ap like I usually do, so I don't know what's up with that. I guess I just didn't need to, but that's been happening like clockwork for almost the past week, so I don't know. Maybe my cycle has something to do with it. Anyway, I am just glad to see that scale dropping. lol, now that big food fest only made me gain 4 pounds, so I am happy about that. |
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Straylight New Member
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And I fell asleep on the couch last night and didn't even realize it. I woke up and was like where am I? What happened? It was really funny. I think I fell asleep watching Family Guy, and then I had dreams about Family Guy. And I dreamed that my Dad had taken us to the snow for a family vacation and I thought it sucked and I was complaining about it the whole time, and my Dad told me you shut up and stop complaining or I will paddle you with a wooden spoon, and I shot back with, go ahead and do it dude, and then I will call social services, and then he shut up. So that was kind of a weird dream. But really I DO hate the snow and the cold and I would hate a vacation to a cold place. Yuck! I always go where it's hot when I go on vacation, like the tropics or something. AND I heard from another one of my beloved consorts last night. I think I was sleeping when he called, and I picked up the message when I woke up. He was asking me how the program was going, and I can't wait to tell him how awesome it is. And seriously, I can't BELIEVE that I have successfully cut out white carbs for 20 days now. That is crazy! Last night at the training, I ordered pizza for my prospective foster parents, and I didn't even want any, it was really AMAZING. It was funny, they are a really cute young couple who like to crack a lot of jokes and be silly, and the prospective foster father (who is super gorgeous) kept saying eat a slice katie, we feel bad eating in front of you and you're not eating anything and then his wife (who is also superhot) said stop it honey, she told us she doesn't eat white carbs! And then later, privately to me, she was like I am so sorry about him, he doesn't understand what it's like for us girls, trying to stick to something. it was hilarious! they were so cute. But really, it wasn't tempting even, and it was a hawaiin pizza too, which is one of my favorite flavors. I really think that free day helps to stay absolutely on track every other day. It's genuis i tell you! GENIUS!!!!! Last edited on 14 October 2008 04:35 pm by Straylight |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Congrats on not eatting the pizza! Pizza is one of my biggest weaknesses. I love it. I found this organic pizza once at the grocery store, so I let myself eat that. I just spotted these kashi pizzas too, so I think if I'm craving it this week I'll let myself have some of that. How much weight do you think a person can gain because of their cycle? I had continued taking my birth control pills so I didn't have a period for like 2.5 months... and now I feel like I'm paying for it! Do you think a person could even put on a couple pounds? |
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lastten New Member
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My adoption was finalized when I was about 5yrs old. I really don't remember much about it but bouncing from house to house to state facility (which are like prisons for orphans!) to finally my permanent home. I wouldn't recommend it but I guess it works... except they couldn't keep my brother and I together. Some guy claiming to be his dad showed up and got custody without a paternity test WTF?? But we grew up OK...maybe a bit nutty but overall OK lol. I gain weight too during my cycle, only a couple pounds but ALL in the gut. Some days I just want to stick a straw in my gut and let it all out so I can button my pants for the day. I hope the new foster family turns out to be good and they aren't hiding anything...with the wierdos out there day sometimes you have to wonder who really is "normal' |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh my gosh, I am SO HUNGRY. The blood is definitely coming soon because I am definitely finished with my calories for the day but I feel like I want to eat everything in the house! ARRRRGH! man oh man! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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lastten wrote:
Maybe we can improvise with our belly buttons? That would be a good place for a straw? |
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SquidGirl Member 
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Wow! I can never resist pizza. I never get it because I know I'll totally pig out. I think it's amazing that you've cut out white carbs, I don't know I ever could.... |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh man, I am so happy, I did not eat anything else tonight. I fell asleep on the couch watching the Simpsons at about 7:00pm and then woke up at 9:30pm and then the desire to eat had passed and now I have been up facebooking and posting on here and a few other sites, so I am way happy. My legs are SO SORE from that sprinting I did yesterday. I want to try sprinting again tomorrow, and I know it's going to hurt, but I am going to play through the pain. I might do a stairs workout too instead of sprinting, but we'll see. Maybe I'll flip a coin. Squid: I never thought I could cut out white carbs either, but it's actually been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I used to eat white carbs every single day, and I used to really crave them. But since I have cut them out a lot (although one day a week I do indulge in them), I have NOT been craving them. I even went out to lunch with my lovely coworker Kim today and we went to a French restaurant, and I ordered a cobb salad and I asked them to hold the bread (because it came with bread), and I honestly was not sitting there wishing I could have the bread. I felt totally satisfied with the salad. And then, when we got back to the office, I wanted something sweet, so I mixed up a whey protein shake (I have the chocolate peanut butter flavor) and that satisfied my sweet tooth, so it was great! I have heard that white carbs in general are sort of addictive, in the sense that the more you eat, the more you want. If you eat them every day, you want them every day. But if you stop eating them, you stop wanting them. I honestly thought it was going to be so hard to give them up because I knew how much I loved them, how often I ate them, and how often I wanted to eat them, but I was amazed at how my desire for them basically departed once I stopped eating them. Because seriously, I would eat them EVERY day, multiple times a day, and I would really crave them a lot. Now I don't. Now I won't say I NEVER have a thought about having them, but the thought is not overpowering and I don't feel deprived or anything. I also really think having that one free day a week helps me keep on track with everything on the days that aren't free, because I know that I can have pizza or ice cream or chips or whatever the heck it is in never less than 6 days. Plus, I am really, really motivated to have a really nice body. I mean, definitely by next summer, I want to have my ultra-dream-body, so I keep that in mind. Also, I weigh myself every morning, and it gives me such joy to see the numbers moving down on the scale on an almost daily basis, so also whenver I get tempted, I think, no come on, you want the scale to say something nice tomorrow, you want good news! This helps me to stay on track and not falter. Here is what I had to eat today: -a handful of raw almonds -a whey protein shake -cobb salad -a handful of baby carrots -nitrate-free hot dog from Trader Joe's with melted cheddar cheese -another whey protein shake Total calories: probably around 1700. I did not exercise today really, besides just walking around and going up and down the stairs at the office as needed, but I will be doing a session tomorrow. Tomorrow, I also am going to call that guy I met at the party this last weekend, the guy who could do the liquid dancing. I had to be cool and wait the three days, you know, lol! Last edited on 15 October 2008 08:25 am by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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And these workpants that I have were definitely noticeably looser today and yesterday than they were before. They are much more baggy in the butt/thigh area and around the waist. This is great! I can still wear them, but they fit different. I also noticed that I can see more quad definition in my legs and can actually feel a hard muscle in my thigh when I am sitting down on the couch. That is awesome! Never felt anything like that before! That is definitely motivation for me to keep up my running, stairs, squats, and lunges! Hooray! |
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Straylight New Member
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And Sara: I did a quick search and found that the average woman puts on 4 - 5 pounds of water weight during the premenstrual part of her cycle. So, wow!!! That's a lot! (I think!) Man, I really hope I can drop five pounds of water weight once the blood comes. I wish it would hurry up and come, too! I am tired of feeling full and crampy. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Wow! That is more than I was expecting! I hope I've been carrying around 5 extra pounds for the last couple of months from it... that would be a nice drop. |
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Straylight New Member
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You and me both, Sara! Well not the last few months for me, more like the last few days. It is now Day 26, and the blood really needs to hurry up and come. COME ON BLEED! I am seriously hoping that once it starts, five pounds will come off. That would be awesome. The scale this morning said that I weighed 153 pounds with a fat percentage of 33.3%, which means a total of 50.95 pounds of fat. That is a drop of .02 pounds of fat since yesterday, and almost a whole pound of water weight, so that is pretty cool. AND this morning, I was very pleased to wake up and find five, yes FIVE voicemails on my phone from every single last one of my consorts. It's like they all got together and decided to call me, so that's cool! Unfortunately, this weekend, I am on-call for work, so I can't really hang out with any of them, but it's good for them to wait! (Men must be brought to a proper boil). This morning I had a high-protein breakfast and drank some green tea. I will be driving to my office to do a stair workout in a few minutes. Whew, just trying to work up the motivation and wait for the green caffeine to enter my bloodstream. |
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Straylight New Member
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And also speaking of bleeding, I am one of those chicks whose breasts swell and get really sore right before the blood comes, so BLECH! Any bouncy sort of workout, which is like every workout I do feels just GREAT! (not) |
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Straylight New Member
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All right~! Done with that stair workout--did a combination of stairs, abs, and whole-body deadlifts. Just 13 minutes, and I feel great. Now I am off to work! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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yea speaking of bleeding. I am supposed to get my period around the time of my wedding. I am thinking of buying another pack of pills and skipping over the placebos. Have you ever tried that? |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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OMG, your wedding? Yeah, I would definitely do that! That's what I do all the time. I only get to see my boyfriend on the weekends, so if it happens to fall on one I just move on to the next pack. Works like a charm! Men must be brought to a proper boil- hahaha *cackling, stirring the pot* And yeah, my tots get huge around this time!!! They look fake and stick straight up when I lay down like soldiers at attention! It's weird, and it hurts. It terrifies me for when I get pregnant, I'm gonna look like a freak! You're so freakin consistent! How do you do it? Can you feel the weight loss, or see it? |
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MidgeH Distinguished Member
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WannaB. Call your doctor - a getting married girlfriend of mine told me that gynos have a plan for getting you around that...(might be like immediately starting anouther course, but it might be a short term suppressant.) She told me it was no big whoop (was able to do it over the phone) but I did not get the details. You don't want to wake up one day with a beard from too many BC pills! Sorry for hijacking, SL Last edited on 15 October 2008 09:02 pm by MidgeH |
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desperategirl New Member
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Hey, I just wanted to come and post in here - thanks for posting in mine. I read your whole diary, and your life sounds so exotic with consorts and forest parties! Also, I love how open you are, and how that encourages others to be open and relaxed. Your diary has a great vibe! You also eat some things that sound well nice! I wish we had trader joes in england... much love, DG |
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Straylight New Member
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Tamale: Yeah, consult with a doctor before you do anything funky with those pills. Tinkering around with hormones is not a good idea if you're an amateur, I mean hormones control EVERYTHING, and while of course everyone would prefer not to bleed on your wedding day, you could look at it like your vagina cleaning itself out for your husband, rolling out the red carpet. ??? or like how brides are supposed to be virgins (right, hence the white wedding gown), you could always tell people YES, I bled on my wedding day and you could hang the bloody sheets for everyone to marvel at your purity. Which by the way, I have always thought it was completely disgusting that the woman was supposed to be this great virginal gift to her husband while the man was certainly not held to the same standard. Stupid fracking patriarchal society BS. But anyway yeah, talk to a doctor! Desperategirl: Thank you for your compliments! I am glad you like my diary. I try to write just basically exactly how I think and talk (well almost), and I really enjoy writing. I am actually trying to get an article published right now for MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies), so we shall see what happens! MAPS uses psychedelics in treatment of mental disorders, and I think it is all very interesting and intriguing, and actually their results have been very positive, but unfortuantely, our great American government won't allow a lot of drugs to be legalized even for therapeutic purposes. Did you know that MDMA (Ecstasy) was originally developed in the 40s as a drug used for couples counseling? The dose was about 1/4 what the street dose is now. MDMA is considered an empathogen, meaning that it makes people better able to put themselves in another person's shoes and see things from another person's perspective. AND, I always love this story, Dr. Bob (I think that's his name), the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous anyway, actually had an LSD therapy session and THAT was what finally stopped his alcoholism. During his session, in his mind, he found himself on a beautiful beach and he heard a voice telling him he was a free man, that he was no longer a slave to alcohol, that he could enjoy the full beauty of life without alcohol, and he was so moved and changed by this experience that he indeed never touched alcohol again. And when he was trying to talk about what this voice was, this peace that he felt, he couldn't really think of a way to describe it. He read the works of William James, who was another psychologist who used "drugs" (as in drugs are bad mmmmkay), although his drug of choice was nitrous oxide, and Dr. James talked about feeling in touch with a higher power. Dr. Bob liked that term, higher power, and felt like it described his experience well. Now, the "higher power" thing has basically morphed into God, usually the Judeo-Christian God, or some type of monotheistic entity. But that wasn't what it started out as. And I believe it was just the one session he had, that was it. And then he really was a free man. Oh, and all of the work MAPS does IS legal, they just have to jump through a lot lot LOT of hoops to get the permission to do their studies. Lots of work with the DEA and the IRB and all that ish. But anyway, yesterday was a good day foodwise, here's what I ate: - butter-fried egg with cheddar cheese -some organic baby carrots -some raw almonds -an organic peach -nachos made with soy flax seed chips and cheddar cheese and Tapatio -cottage cheese with honey -a piece of cheddar cheese can you tell i really love cheese? I am a big cheesehead. Hahaha, I am like cport's husband in that picture! LOL! But I was looking at the ingredients on the Tapatio and it has sodium benzoate in it, which didn't make me very happy. I want to find a hot sauce that doesn't have anything funky in it. I wil have to look at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods and see what I can find. Because I really like hot sauce, but I don't know about that sodium benzoate, because I eat a lot of hot sauce, so I don't think it's so great to be daily dousing my system with whatever sodium benzoate is. It sounds scary, maybe it's not that bad, I need to research it. And this morning when I got on the scale, HOORAY, it said 151.6 pounds total with a body fat percentage of 32.3%, which means I have 48.97 pounds of fat. And the stupid blood STILL hasn't come, and now it's day 27. I should be happy, I like a longer cycle, I just want to know how much of the darn weight is blood-related. You know? Of course i am hoping I am retianing like 10 pounds of water lol (that's the most I heard you can retain of water around the bleeding time, although it's highly unusual). |
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wolfmonk New Member 
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Hey Straylight - that article sounds really interesting! It's too bad that we're beseiged by the notion that "drugs" are bad - no ifs ands or buts - no exceptions - just a black and white notion. Mostly I think the gov't pushes the moral issue, but what it comes down to - as it always will in a society that is ruled by the dollar above all else - is just that - there's money to be made in drug land, the Pharm Cos, and the "war" on drugs. Also a good excuse to empower the police state with more powers than it should have - although with our new other war (terrorism) those trespasses now seem kind of quaint. Anyway - are you a Battlestar Galactica fan? I notice your frequent use of "Frack", or did you pick that up elsewhere? |
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Straylight New Member
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I did indeed get frack from BSG! One day I was looking through my overnight bag for something, and I just spontaneously said frack without thinking because I had been watching so much BSG. But it felt real satisfying, so I just kept saying it! |
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Straylight New Member
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dude and I HATE the pharmaceutical companies. So many of my poor kids are on psychotropic meds, and mulitple ones at that--even young kids, like 5 and 6! It's disgusting. I think it's unconscionable. Last edited on 17 October 2008 06:47 am by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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Whew, and that was a super super SUPER long day. 13.5 hours of work and 187 miles worth of driving, including mountain driving. I am so glad to be home, and so glad I only have to work a really short day tomorrow. I can sleep in until noon if I want. YES! It was an intense day too. I had a really emotional family visit that I supervised and then another one of my kids is getting booted out of his foster home (which he actually really deserves because he is a mess and really needs a higher level of care, but it is still very sad and was emotional). Thursdays have been crazy for me at work lately, I can't wait until I have a nice, easy, calm Thursday. Man, oh man! But I did super on my eating and got a sweet message from my Top Advisor consort when I was in the middle of dealing with all my kid drama, a little text message that just said "wanted you to know I was thinking of you and smiling." That was so nice, and perfectly timed. Sometimes I feel like the universe is so kind and benevolent to me, I am so filled with thanks. Even the bullsh.it I have to deal with at work I consider an honor to deal with because I am so involved in really important parts of people's lives, even though it really stresses me out sometimes. Actually, a nice part of the night was me and one of my girls that I've known forEVER were sitting out on the porch at her foster home, probably about 8:30pm, and we were just looking at the moon and feeling peaceful, and then we looked and saw the moon perfectly reflected in one of the windows and we could see a double moon and it was really nice and the air was warm. She was in a mellow, content mood and it was nice to see her like that. And I am also a big fan of the moon, so it was nice to be able to share that with her. |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh, and for my food today I had: - baby carrots -peanut butter and honey -split pea soup - some hearts of palm -hot dog with cheddar cheese (a special kind of hot dog from Trader Joe's that is nitrite and nitrate free, woo hoo!) -an apple -some blueberries -cottage cheese with honey Probably about 1550 calories. |
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Straylight New Member
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Well, the stupid scale this morning now said I weigh 152.2 pounds total with a body fat percentage of 33.1%, making me supposedly carrying around 50.38 pounds of fat. So BLECH! That's up from yesterday, and I had a calorie deficit yesterday, so I am thinking or hoping at least that a lot of that extra weight is from water and all the stuff in my uterus that STILL NEEDS TO COME OUT! SHEESH! Now it's day 28, and I am full as full could be. My longest cycle in the last year has been 29 days which means that I might not bleed until Sunday, and the longest cycle I ever had was probably around 39 days, although that was highly unusual. Lol, usually I don't care so much about when the blood comes but I want my weight to go down! ARGH! Hurry up and bleed! BLEED ALREADY! And release those ten pounds of water and blood I know you're holding onto! LOL. |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh YES! What a glorious, glorious day. The blood came AND I got a letter from the Board saying that they have approved my hours and I am now ready to take the test for my clinical licensure. So, once I pass, I can then start my own private practice AND i automatically get a raise at work of like 2.5 grand a year! WOO HOO!!!!! |
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wolfmonk New Member
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Congratulations on passing the board! |
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Straylight New Member
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thank you! It took me five years to gather all of my hours, and then they didn't approve some of them for some mysterious reason, so I had to go and document gathering some more. AND then they rejected my photo because it wasn't on the right paper, that was nice. But they finally were satisfied and so now all I have to do is pass the written and oral exams. |
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wolfmonk New Member
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They rejected the picture because it was on the wrong paper? There's a special place out there for paper-pushers. |
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Straylight New Member
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I agree! Sometimes I wonder how the one neuron in their brain doesn't die of loneliness. |
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Straylight New Member
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Awww, my ninja consort called and asked me if i wanted to go out to this party with him and I told him I couldn't because I am on-call for work, and he said that in that case, he would come by and entertain me with some anime (we both really like anime). He is bringing over my favorite series--Lain: Serial Experiments. I have the box set too, but the DVDs are pretty scratched and they skip and get stuck a lot. I need to buy a new set. So all right! He should be here pretty soon! Now I need to make sure I am good and don't eat any more! Maybe some carrots a bit later before I go to bed, but nothing else! Yikes, and I have major, major cramps too! I think I will take some more aspirin. Gosh, these cramps are the worst! Blech! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, I am going to list the food I ate today, but I am basically finished with my food today and hopefully if I list it liked I am totally done that will make me stay done LOL. And that aspirin had better kick in soon. God I wish I had a weiner sometimes. FRACK! Okay, so today i ate -a handful of raw almonds -an organic peach -organic peanut butter with honey -organic baby carrots -small slice of cheddar cheese -organic raspberry yogurt -nachos made from soy flaxseed chips with cheddar cheese and tapatio -two cups of green tea (on Friday and Saturday nights I will drink green tea in the afternoon because I don't have to fall asleep at any specific time and can sleep in in the morning, not like during the week where I have a schedule to keep) -some hearts of palm (these are SOOOO GOOD!!!!!) I also took some fun-size Snickers bars from work (we already have Halloween candy out), and I am saving them for Sunday (that's my free day). I am really happy that I haven't touched them and haven't really felt tempted. That is amazing, believe me! That's as amazing as the Cherry Garcia ice cream that sat in the freezer all week. Tomorrow I am going to a No on Prop 8 party. It's going to be a beer bash, but I can't drink any beer because 1) I don't drink beer except for on Sunday, and even then I usually try to stick to wine or clear alcohol 2) I am on-call for work and have to be ready to respond to an emergency at any point until Thursday. So, I am just going to go and hang out and show my support, but I won't be drinking or eating any white carbs or processed food. Luckily my friend JP (the host of the party) usually has lots of healthy food in addition to the more indulgent choices, as he is very conscious of his physique. I am looking forward to it. If I am lucky, hopefully my ninja consort will spend the night and then go with me to the party. But thanks to the blood there won't be any bedroom ninja acrobatics tonight. Doh! But I am so glad the blood finally came! That scale better have moved tomorrow #%@&! it! And come on aspirin! WORK! Last edited on 18 October 2008 04:15 am by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh and I almost forgot, I did a stairs workout at the office before work today, and that felt nice. Just 14 minutes. I love super-intense, supershort workouts. I will take them over an easier, longer workout any day. But anyway, on the way to my car, I was walking along in my workout clothes (little shorts and a tank top) and some dude stopped his truck and was hitting on me. I was definitely not into him, not my type, but it was a nice ego boost. I was like all right! I just barely exited the house and I am getting this nice compliment. nice! made me walk with my head held a little higher. |
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Straylight New Member
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And wolfmonk: Yes, I had printed out a photo on printer paper that was the dimensions they wanted, but because it wasn't on photo paper, they didn't accept it. I guess we all have to pay the bills right, but do people HAVE to pick some obnoxious jobs? Sheesh! "I do apologize ma'am, but..." like the people who have jobs that involve a lot of THAT phrase. Yuck! And parking ticketers. I want to string them up. They swarm all over my neighborhoos like flies on a steaming pile. |
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wolfmonk New Member
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Yeah - parking enforcement officers - what a #%@&! job. I'm surprised more of them don't get attacked on the job. |
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Straylight New Member
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whew, late start today. Ninja consort did spend the night, but these cramps are seriously kicking my butt. I think I am just going to rest most of the day today. I don't even know if I want to go to that No on Prop 8 Beer Bash today, I just feel like zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz but i weighed myself this morning, and the scale now says 32% body fat and a total weight of 151.6, which means I have 48.51 pounds of fat. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow. I seriously wonder if menstruating burns any more calories? That would be something interesting to look up. And I seriously need a laptop so I can lounge and be on the computer at the same time! |
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Straylight New Member
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But I am very glad i did not eat anything else last night. Woo hoo! |
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MidgeH Distinguished Member
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Apparently TTOM burns an extra 100-300 cals/day. ONLY upside. Last edited on 18 October 2008 08:48 pm by MidgeH |
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Straylight New Member
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Wow, thanks Midge! That's kinda cool. I think they should bring back the Red Tent. Back in the day we didn't have to do sh.it when we were bleeding, no cooking, no cleaning, no working, no childcare, no nothing, they just piled us all in our separate tent and all we had to do was rest, read, chat, whatever. Things were really effed up for women a lot back then of course, but that was one thing I wish they'd bring back! and check this out, I am in love with this song right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvwK-3cQ6gE |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, so the drugs (600 mg ibuprofen) have kicked in sufficiently so I am off to that No on Prop 8 beer bash. Woo hoo! |
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MidgeH Distinguished Member
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There is a village high in the mountains of Bhutan that still does this. When I first saw that I was like "those asinine chauvinists!" but then I realized and long as I had m&m's, cable tv and midol it would be AWESOME. (of course in this village you aren't ALLOWED to come out of the special house they have for it - but really, I don't want to be around anyone anyway!) |
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Straylight New Member
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Wow, that beer bash was great, even though I couldn't drink anything because I am on-call. Lots of fun people, good food (I had a protein cheeseburger with chile sauce, SO GOOD!) and just totally good times. Met a really cool people, including this couple that just got married yesterday (two dudes). And okay, check this out pretty much almost everyone there was gay, my friend throwing it was gay and it was a No on Prop 9 Beer Bash, so most everyone there was gay. But there was this one dude there that I thought was really cute, but I am thinking okay, he's gay, so whatever, I'm not a dude, so I am sure he doesn't want to do anything with me because he's freaking GAY and we were upstairs on the roof which was absolutely beautiful, you get such a great view of LA, and it doesn't even look like LA, it looks like france or the mediterranean or something, and he starts telling me yes he's gay, but he has really lately been curious about women like he wants to brush up on his orals, if you know what I mean and I was like WHAT? no way is this guy putting me on or what? but he was dead serious and he told me that he really liked me, thought I was cute or whatever and I was thinking SURE dude, I will help you brush up on your orals, I mean what chick would say no to that right? WOW!!!! So, now, in addition to all my other consorts, I have a FREAKING GAY CONSORT!!!! WHOA!!!!! it's my lucky day #%@&! it's been my lucky year my lucky lifetime can't believe it! so happy! |
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Straylight New Member
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and I kept up a good calorie deficit too, really proud of that! I had about 1250 calories today, so I should be totally awesome for my big weigh-in tomorrow. Plus I have been bleeding since yesterday, so I am glad a lot of THAT stuff is out (although if I hadn't been bleeding today, darn it, I could have helped him out with his orals TODAY but anyway Today I ate: -Fearless franks with cheddar cheese -some organic baby carrots -some Persian cucumbers -two protein cheeseburgers (patty, muenster cheese, lettuce, chile sauce, no buns) (I woke up late around 11:00am so I ate a little less than I usually do). |
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Straylight New Member
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All RIGHT! This morning, the scale said I weighed an even 150 pounds with a body fat percentage 0f 31.6%, which means that I now am carrying around 47.4 pounds of fat, which is a .58 pound drop in fat since last week. AND I am still bleeding (Day 3), so I am betting the scale will fall a bit further once all the blood and retained water are out. But I am still very, very happy to see those numbers this morning. I am going to my parents' house to get my computer fixed and then am going to a family brunch over at my grandmother's and then going to a Black and White party over by my house (free! free! and only 2 miles away!) The great ninja consort will be there, so I am really excited about that! Woo hoo! What a great weekend this has been. And it's not even over yet! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, so to run some big-picture numbers here Since 9/25/08, the day I started this new plan, I have lost a total of 6.2 pounds altogether, 3.99 pounds of which is fat. This loss has occurred over the span of 24 days. :) |
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Straylight New Member
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Went to a very nice family brunch over at my grandma's and enjoyed a lot of good homemade food. It was also really nice to see my family, especially extended family. I am glad I live pretty close to them, and they are all pretty cool. I also had a nail in my tire that my uncle spotted and then my super-handy grandfather and cousin Russ were able to remove the nail and plug the tire with a kit my grandfather had, so that was nice and lucky and probably saved me a lot of money. (It turned out to be a roofing nail). I decided not to go to the Black and White party because I was sorta pooped from staying up til 4am and then waking up around 8am today, and also I am on-call for work, and going to big loud ravey parties when I am on-call sorta sucks because I can't really hear my phone all that well and then it's hard to relax knowing I could be called out at a moment's notice, so I just came back home from brunch, reinstalled my computer that my lovely father had fixed and ended up sacking out on the couch for a nice, long, much-needed nap. I woke up and my stomach was sorta growly, so I ordered take-out from this really good Chinese place by my house called Wok Master. I ordered pot-stickers and a Chinese chicken salad, but I could only eat the potstickers, i didn't really have room for the salad. I will bring the salad to work tomorrow and probably give it to my coworker for lunch. (I can't eat it tomorrow, because I am sure the dressing has weird, processed stuff in it, and I don't eat stuff like that except for on my free day, sunday), but it IS a tasty salad, and my coworker will probably really like it. So today, all in all was a good day (and I didn't even have to use my AK). I ate -2 deviled eggs (so good!) -piece of pumpkin cake -two scoops vanilla ice cream - a piece of quiche -some cheddar cheese -cup of green tea -two fun size snickers bars -some spinach salad -half a ham sandwich -6 potstickers -cracker with brie cheese -some fresh cut pineapple -oatmeal cookie YUMMY talked to the gay consort a bit today and had a few laughs, so that was cool. Also talked to the Blue-Eyed Jew consort and he is reading a novel-length story I just finished writing. I told the Blue-Eyed Jew consort about the diet I am on, and he is wanting to try it out. Poor baby has Crohn's disease and I think the diet I use could really help him heal from that. (We have been struggling to find healing from that for a long time coming). Also got to talk to a dude that I met at the psytrance party last weekend. We can call him my Liquid consort because he knows how to liquid dance really well. He is also a firedancer, which I just discovered, and I find that very cool. He landed a gig at a really popular amusement park around here doing firedancing, so I might like to go check his shizz out at some point. Had good brief meditation this morning, and the colon cleanse continues to go well. I only had to take medication once today for my stupid bleeding pain. Back to the salt mines tomorrow, but I am already looking forward to next weekend--I am going to see Sasha out here and I LOVE HIM!!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, so I got the late night munchies and I ended up eating a lot of that chinese chicken salad. YUM YUM!!!! And the delivery guy from Wok Master remembered me he was like oh, we haven't seen you for a while! that was sweet. |
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Straylight New Member
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Weigh-in this morning after the cheat day was that the scale said total weight was 154.2 with a body fat percentage of 32.2, meaning that I have 49.65 pounds of fat. So, that means the cheat day made the scale go up 4.2 pounds altogether, and go up 2.25 pounds of fat. That is interesting. I am not worried about it though. I am starting to see a pattern. The cheat day seems to generally make the scale numbers rise the day after, then the numbers fall day by day and then there is usually a really significant drop the day of the weekly weigh-in. Had a strange dream that my Top Advisor consort sent me a text message telling me that his doctor told him he was obese. (My Top Advisor consort is built like a Calvin Klein model). And then one of my prospective foster parents told me that the DUI they got was in 2007 which means that we can't certify them because the state will not grant an exemption for any substance-related crimes unless it occurred over 5 years ago. Hmmmm.... Today is a good day, I have a short day at work because I worked so much OT last week and over the weekend, I only have to put in 5.75 hours at work instead of the full 8 AND my remote desktop is working from my house now, so I can take advantage of that and do some report-writing from home, which is great. I have to write an incident report on that 17-year-old running away on Friday night. :( Everyone at the agency was sad about that one. She probably went to her boyfriend's though, so she probably is safe and happy. It just sucks not knowing for sure. And tomorrow, I have a massage scheduled. I have a great guy I use that only charges $50 and he comes to your house AND he always goes longer than an hour. He doesn't really have a set time, he just goes until he is real tired and can't go anymore. He's awesome--big cool Irani dude named Bryan. I just love him! I think he's into Zoroastrianism too, which I find interesting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoroastrianism |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh, WHEW I just finished my sprinting workout for the morning. Not that long, about 13 minutes. Combination of sprinting, mountain climbers, mountain jumpers, squats, and ab exercises. Intense. Good. Love it! Did not trip over my shoelaces which made me very happy. |
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Straylight New Member
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Man, I fell asleep at like 7pm tonight! and woke up around 1am. Crazy! I am telling you though, once the days start getting shorter, I get tired WAY EARLY when I get home from work. Also, I didn't get that much sleep last night, I guess, probably only about 5.5 hours. Work was pretty good today, and everything felt like it was in a nice, synchronistic flow. Heard from my ninja consort and my top advisor consort and the blue-eyed Jew consort so that was also cool. The bleeding should be over soon. Tomorrow is the last day. And I have my massage tomorrow! YAY!!! I had a dream about my massage, now that I think about it. My boss was here and wouldn't leave! And she ate up a lot of time, and then she went to take a picture of me once I was disrobed, so I called the police on her. Weird! I did pretty good on my calories today, probably had about a 600-calorie deficit. Here is what I ate: -organic baby carrots -organic peanut butter and honey -organic apple -cheddar cheese and fearless frank -whey protein shake (I have the peanut butter chocolate flavor MMM MMM!) |
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Straylight New Member
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Frack! Weird sleeping pattern today over here. I fell asleep at 7pm last night, and then woke up at 1am and have been totally unable to fall back asleep. Now it's like 4:45am or something like that, so I figure I am up for the day. I will probably just go into work butt-early and then leave early! My coworker Kim usually comes in really early on Tuesdays because she has to commute from Orange County to Hollywood, which is about an hour and she likes to beat traffic, otherwise it's more like 2 hours! The shorter days always screw with my circadian rhythms! Anyway, the scale this morning said that I weighed 152 total weight with a body fat percentage of 32.2%, so that means I have 49.01 pounds of fat this morning. That is a good drop from yesterday, and I still am bleeding (this should be the last day of THAT), so I may still have some water I am retaining plus my cheat day was just on Sunday, so there is still probably some weight in there from that. But it's nice to see it go down, it was like a 2.2 pound drop from yesterday (total weight) and a .64 pound drop in fat from yesterday. My coworker Kim is taking me out for a belated birthday lunch in Larchmont, and we are always able to find these very cool organic healthy restaurants on the restaurant row there. I hardly ever eat at chain restaurants anymore, I mean the big normal mainstream ones like Denny's, Coco's Cheesecake Factory, etc. My massage is today and I am really excited! It's been a good long while since I've had a massage, maybe half a year even! (Well, a professional one anyway, I guess amateur massages more frequently than that from the cool men in my life lol!) |
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sizzle New Member 
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Hey there! I figured that since you are commenting on my diary that I should do the neighborly thing and comment on yours. I was reading your diary and oh my, you seem like quite the liberal woman. Where were all the girls like you when I was single? Your likes even seem to parallel mine. But, out of curiosity, what type of work do you do? It almost seems like you're a social worker, perhaps??? |
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sizzle New Member
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Okay, I read further and yeah...you're a social worker. Just thought you'd like to know. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Straylight wrote:
I wish we had restaurants like that! All we have are chain restaurants. There's one place I can think of in Spokane, it's called Huckelberry's, and it's an organic grocery store with a deli and coffee shop inside. But that's an hour away from both my homes! Normally I just have to stock up on any organic food they have at Safeway (not a very big selection), so they have a huge say in what I eat. I guess one day all that fun stuff will spread from California up to Washington. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member 
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Hey, was just stopping in to check out your diary. Wow! I had like two beers while reading it all, lol. I have to admit that I only hit the highlights. Like about why you came here to this site, your mom, the booty chick, the gay consort. You should really write a book, best reading I have had in quite sometime. Anyway, sounds like your sleeping habits are about as bad as mine. Geezz, it sucks when you get all screwed up like that. I have been doing that on the weekends and it really messes up my schedule. Well, keep plugging along and have fun on your dinner thing and most definitely enjoy the massage... Oh ps: Just had to tell ya. The booty chick you were talking about reminded me of this one time me and the hubby went up town. They had a booty contest - playing that song"I like big butts" and there was this chick there. Nothing was moving except for her butt, it was truly amazing. LOL, she won of course, then I had to spend the rest of the night, keeping my husband from following her around with his tongue hanging out. I think I even wiped drool off of him a few times, lol. I wonder how many phone numbers she got that night. |
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Straylight New Member
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Sizze: haha, thank you for telling me what I do for a living. I woke up this morning thinking what do i do again (lol!!!) you're funny! Thank you for your compliments, sorry you didn't know me when you were single. My liberal ways are a source of much consternation for my parents, but they accept it. They are just always warning me constantly, please be careful Katie, please be careful! And I don't want to end up dead and mutilated in a cornfield, so I do try to be careful, but not as careful as they would like me to be... oh well, c'est la guerre! Sara: That really does suck that they don't have any good, healthy organic restaurants near you. That is definitely one of the perks of living in southern california! It is of course possible to get healthy food at the chain restaurants, but it still is a challenge, and a lot of times you have to make modifications and substitutions and special requests (which the servers and chefs just LOVE, I am sure). Cindy: Thank you for your compliments on my writing, I am glad you think my life is so interesting and entertaining. Two beers to read it, that's cute and hilarious. The girl with the world class booty's name was Angelique. I should try to russle up a picture of her, surely someone took a picture of her at that party, and then I can post it and everyone can revel in the beauty that is her perfect behind! My friend Steph can do that booty-shake thing too real perfect. She was at the beer bash last Saturday, and I kept bugging her to do it, and she was a sport and did it. I kept telling her, do the world a favor, turn around and show us again!!!! good stuff! Whew, big long day at work. There are money problems at my work right now, and so the Director of HR is now wanting to have a meeting with me to discuss my mileage and see if there's any cuts that can be made to my travel. There really aren't any cuts that can be made, I can't not see my clients, after all! I think he is going to try and say that on the days I have to be in Hollywood the Hollywood office is my home office and the days I have to be in Redlands, Redlands is my home office so that they can get out of paying me mileage for the times I have to commute so far to see my clients, but I have already checked it out and that is illegal and therefore unaccepatable to me, and I will tell him so. I will tell them they are more than welcome to buy me a company car, you know like a real cheap one, and then they would only have to pay the tanks of gas, which is a lot cheaper than mileage on my personal car, but that's the only solution I can think of. I usually average about $550 a month in mileage, so I don't know how the math would exactly go, maybe I would use 8 tanks of gas doing business-related stuff in a month, which comes out to about $300 a month, so that would save some money in the long run, but they would have to cough up probably about $1500 for a cheap company car, or maybe they could find a good deal or get a donation car or something. I have the date for my licensing test (part one) on November 14th. I am going to put in one hour of studying every day, so that will give me 23 hours of solid prep time, which I think is pretty good. I am generally a good test-taker. I got As all through school, college, and grad school, so I am fairly confident in my testing abilities! So excited! |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh AND I did an unplanned workout today with my coworker, Kim. Combination of stairs and ab stuff. Awesome! She is so great about working out with me at work, it's great! She was like wow! it's like we work at a gym! it IS pretty great |
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Straylight New Member
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HALLUELUAH! I got on the scale this morning, and it said I weighed 149.8 total with 31.9% body fat, which means I am carrying 47.79 pounds of fat. This is my lowest weight and body fat weight since I started this program! I have now lost a total of 6.4 pounds total weight, 3.6 pounds of which is PURE FAT! I am soooo happy! AND I took the practice test for my licensing exam, and I got the first three questions wrong, but after I figured out how to read the questions and what they are really looking for, I got ALL OF THEM RIGHT! WOW!!!! I am so excited! |
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Straylight New Member
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forgot to post what I ate yesterday: -organic baby carrots -free range egg fried in butter -organic blueberries -melted cheddar cheese with tapatio -nachos made with cheddar cheese, tapatio, and soy flaxseed chips -whey protein shake And the colon clease is going good! I am probably 1/3 of the way through the bottle. Feels good! |
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Straylight New Member
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But GEEZ I have taken like 3 cr.aps this morning already. Whenver I am get really happy I sh.it a lot, isn't that weird? hahah! But man, now my #%@&! is totally on fire! I don't think I can take much more happiness! (just kidding, bring it on!) |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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LOL, I feel your pain. I take alot dumps myself when I take lots of fiber.... Sometimes I can do with so many trips to the john. |
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Straylight New Member
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haha yeah! And I haven't showered yet and I know it's going to totally hurt now when I wash my bum! LOL! Yikes! i told my friend that I get the happy craps. Haha, it's so true! When I am really happy, my bowels act up. It's funny |
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Straylight New Member
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Awww, I just got call from my boss with some really good news. I actually kinda got misty-eyed when she was telling me: Yesterday I called one of my kids in the evening , a 14-year-old boy, and I told him that I was very proud of him because his foster father had told me that the boy had a really good weekend and was trying really hard to behave and be respectful (because this boy really struggles with anger issues and being mean and rude and manipulative), but he really has been trying hard ever since Friday to act nicer, and he even made a little chart for himself (totally his own idea) where the foster father could mark off if he had a good day or a bad day as far as his attitude goes, and I was SO PROUD of him, I mean really, how many 14-year-old dudes do stuff like that, not many! And it takes a big person to be able to reflect on themselves and see if they are acting like a jacka.ss, admit it, and then take such concrete steps to fix it. I mean grown-as.s men and women have a hard time doing that, and this young man totally did it! So I called him last night around 7pm to tell him I was really proud of him, and he sounded sorta surprised but happy. And so then I guess the foster father called my boss this morning to say that he and the young man were so touched and so happy about that little phone call, the foster father said he had worked with a lot of social workers in his time and none of them had ever done anything like that and the young man was also so happy and felt really proud of himself that a social worker called to compliment his efforts like that. So my boss called to tell me about that, and I thought that was really great! It really made me happy, and it was such a small thing for me to do, but it was so greatly appreciated. :) |
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DoublePoppa Senior Member 
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That's like the movie Pay it Forward only real. Well at least the happy part of the movie. LOL |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Wow, that is huge of him. You're right, I'd say even the majority of adults have a hard time doing or can't do that. Haha, I was eatting oatmeal when I read about you wahsing your &#(@%(@ and how much it would hurt... I normally don't have a hard time swallowing food but you got me, lol! I don't notice a difference in my bowels when I'm happy, only when I'm really nervous or scared. Cows do the same thing, isn't that kinda neat? |
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Straylight New Member
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I never saw Pay It Forward, I should check it out. God, I have netflix movies that have sat there and sat there, I need to just put them in the mailbox and get the next thing in my queue, I am obviously not interested in what I've got... Actually, not only do I get the happy craps, whenever I am nervous I get them too. I remember a few times on the way to work when I had something I was afraid about, I would have to pull over and find a gas station. Maybe that's what they mean when they say scared sh.itless--fear clears out for bowels. So yeah, the happy craps and the scared sh.its, that's what i get! So, cows #%@&!, what when they are scared or when they are happy? i remember, I used to stay up late with my brother on Christmas Eve and we would be really, really excited waiting for Santa Claus and I would be running off to the bathroom ALL NIGHT because I was so excited! It was funny, I didn't think anything of it at the time, obvious, I was a little girl, but looking back I think it's hilarious, and I still think it's hilarious! Sorry I made you choke on your oatmeal! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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That's ok, it was the last bite anyway. I don't know about when they're happy, but they do a lot when they're scared or nervous. One of ours got into fight with a porcupine once and we had to pull all the quills out with pyers. I was pulling out all the ones from the face area and my poor boyfriend was getting the ones from her hind legs. She kept Sh**ing and wagging her tail in it, so he was getting splattered all over! I felt so bad for both the cow and him... but it was kinda funny, him with cow pie all over his face! I would have puked! |
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Straylight New Member
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haha awww I wonder if that's like some evolutionary thing, like you sh.it when you get scared so that you can be light as possible if you need to run away.... |
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SquidGirl Member
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Hahahaha! I've never heard that theory before, but I think you might be onto something... |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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hahahaha, that's really funny or maybe you #%@&! to scare off your predators! llamas spit and cows #%@&! |
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Straylight New Member
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yeah, the scaring off predators thing makes sense too! I am sure it's an old fight or flight response. to post what I ate yesterday, I had: -raw almonds -organic baby carrots -an organic strawberry -organic peanut butter and honey -blueberries -some beet chips -chicken breast with melted cheese and tapatio total calorie count was probably around 1500. And today I am off-call!! YES!!! That means I can finally enjoy some of that wine I bought like over a week ago! And yesterday was quite productive--I secured a placement in our new home in L.A. County AND got some good news that CCL finally closed out an investigation on one of our homes (some biological parents had cooked up a false allegation against one of my foster homes back in June and it finally got closed out unfounded. Yay! And for those of you who don't know, when someone makes an abuse allegation, there are three outcomes for the investigation--substantiated, which means it is believed the abuse DID happen; inconclusive, which means there's not enough evidence either way to say whether the abuse happened or not and unfounded, which means it is believed the abuse did NOT happen). This foster home is a great foster home and they would never abuse a child in any way, I have worked with them for four years, and they are a very awesome and loving family, I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that the allegations the biological family made up were false, and it was a horrible, harrowing time for the foster parents AND the remaining foster children in the home, sitting on pins and needles. The foster children were all worried the home was going to be shut down and they would have to move, and TWO of them are being adopted and are EXTREMELY close to the foster parents. But anyway, it was closed out unfounded, so there was much rejoicing in that household yesterday. Incidentally, biological parents are the number one source of allegations against foster parents. These two biological parents were total tweakers and ran a meth lab out of their house, that is why their children got removed in the first place. I guess they wanted to spread the wealth, so they decided to be mean and vindictive and make a false allegation against my foster parents. But they didn't win, the truth won out, so I was SOOOO glad yesterday! I also studied again for my test yesterday, and it felt good! This morning, when I weighed myself, oh happy day, the scale went down AGAIN! (woo hoo, the scale is going down like Divine Brown on Hugh Grant, baby!) and it said my total weight is now 150.2 pounds total weight with a body fat percentage of 31.7% which means I am carrying around 47.61 pounds of fat. Now THIS is the least fat I have had since I started the program on 9/25/08! That means I have lost a total of 6 pounds total and a total of 3.78 pounds of fat! (So yes, my total weight is up since yesterday, but my fat is down so that means I either put on muscle or have a bit more water weight). AND I took my measurements this morning, and now my waist is now 30.75 inches and my hips are 39.75 inches! That means that in the last 18 days, I have lost 2 inches from my midsection! YAY!!!! Last edited on 23 October 2008 01:55 pm by Straylight |
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desperategirl New Member
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Congrats on losing inches on the midsection! Man, the fat there is like GLUE. Also, congrats with your foster home - it's good when the truth wins. as for your body fat reducing...maybe it's something to do with your overactive bowel movements. Serious! My boyf c$%^& three times a day, and he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him! Ha ha. xxxDG  |
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Straylight New Member
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It could be due to the bowels--I am doing a colon cleanse after all too! I don't really care where it's from though, I'll take it whatever the source, you know? I know what you mean too about being the troll in your family. I was adopted and my whole family is full of willowy blondes. It's like the Aryan Nation at my grandma's house whenever we get together and then you have me, the freaking brown boombastic who will never EVER be willowy no matter what, unless I break my pelvis and collarbone and get them reset so that I have a narrower frame but I won't be doing THAT. |
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Straylight New Member
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oh yeah, and I just remembered (because somebody wrote a post about somebody being 40 and it reminded me) I was at one of my foster homes yesterday, and one of the girls (19 years old) was watching TV and she suddenly started whooping and hollering saying WOW HE'S SO SEXY!!! OMG!!! so I had to go see who she was all excited about sure enough, there was LL Cool J on the Tyra Banks show (which i never watch) but I guess that man is 40 years old and he's still got it! He really IS a beautiful man! He's hardly changed at all since I was a kid (girl, I know you don't love me, I know why you're here, but I ain't sayin' nothin') http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2007/startracks/070115/llcool_j.jpg he has an absolutely gorgeous smile. MMM MM!!! |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator
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I haven't dropped in on 'ya in a while...just wanted to say congrats on your progress! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Straylight wrote: It could be due to the bowels--I am doing a colon cleanse after all too! I don't really care where it's from though, I'll take it whatever the source, you know? I kinda know how this feels too. I'm the tallest (by 3 inches) and largest woman in my family! Makes me feel so huge. My mom always helped me with it though by comparing us to cars. What she was trying to do was say wee're all just as beautiful, we just represent a different kind of beauty; and that works because everyone has a different type! She said she pictured me as a timeless perfect-condition classic car and my sister has a new red sports car. Everyone will turn their heads at a hot red sports car, but there's nothing like a classic. Anyway, they probably wish they could be as sultry as you! Plus, normally really thin girls get jealous of our curves |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YGaOkZqJABA Frog Squats! Try it out, it burns though.... |
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Straylight New Member
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Sara: That's cute, the car anaology. Your mom is cute! And there ARE different kinds of beauty, of course, I mean, I just posted about LL Cool J, right, and he is certainly a different kind of beautiful than, say, Keanue Reeves, but either one of them look da.mn good to me, you know? I don't know which I would choose! I wouldn't choose, I guess if I had the choice, I would say that both of them are hot and leave it at that! Also, I think that having a few different types of consorts has been good at making me appreciate different kinds of beauty--I mean I have a white WHITE boy consort, a Latino consort, a Filipino consort, a Jewish consort etc. (No Black dudes yet, I would LOVE to have an island-y Black dude! yeah, mon!) and they all have different body types--average body type, very thin, brick sh.ithouse build, even a little bit of pudge around the middle, and obviously I fancy ALL of them, I like to see ALL of them in their birthday suits, so there you go! I know men tend to be a bit more visual than women, but men seem to appreciate my body type fairly appropriately, lol! If I had to pick a car that my body was like, I'd say it was like a Honda Civic, you can park it anywhere, it's cute but not supersporty, it's fuel efficient, you can take it offroading if you have to because it's tough like that AND you can drive it forEVER because it's got the infrastructure to last. And it's the most stolen car out there, so there you go! Dani: Wow, I like the look of those frog squats. Do you know what the benefit is of them over regular squats? Just curious... I weighed myself this morning and total weight is now down to 148.6 with a body fat percentage of 32.2, which means I have 47.89 pounds of body fat, a little up from yesterday, but I am cool with it. I had a pretty big calorie deficit yesterday, probably about 500 or so, so I am sure the body fat percentage will drop soon. I have to admit, I WAS glad to see such a drop in total weight, that was pretty cool. That means I have now lost a total of 6.6 pounds in less than a month! Tomorrow is my big weigh-in so I am excited! I also had that little "chat" with my superiors about mileage yesterday. They do not want to pay me mileage from travelling from hollywood to redlands anymore (no surprise, they are always complaining about that), so they told me that starting December 1, Redlands will be my home office. (66 miles away from my home office currently). So, I think what I am going to do is retain my place in Hollywood because I like living here a lot, and I spoke with my friend who lives like 5 minutes from the Redlands office and he said I could stay there during the week however much I needed to, so I said, great, cool! So now I have like two places for the price of one! Wherever I need to be! I mean, it DOES sorta suck that they are doing that to me, but luckily I have good, giving friends, and we worked something out. I will probably pay my friend something every month for his kindness, but it won't break me, and I think it might even be kinda fun (my friend is really cool and weird and we get along really well.) Plus he has a NICE plce, a house with a big, beautiful backyard AND laundry on-site WOO HOO!!! For my food yesterday, I had: -organic baby carrots -cottage cheese -blueberries -dark cocoa almonds (MMMM!!!) -pinto beans with cheese and tapatio sauce -organic green apple Probably about 1180 calories. I know, I know a little bit low, but I was really preoccupied with making arrangements for myself, didn't get up to 1200, but I think I am OK... I am excited for this weekend! I am going to a little party right by house and my new roomie-friend is going to be there as well as my ninja consort, so that should be a blast AND my friend Eric is going to come up here and we are going to ride around on his motorcycle, which I love to do! |
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Straylight New Member
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And Crimson, thank you! I gotta say, it feels GREAT to be in the 140s again. It's been a while since I've seen those numbers, and I like to see 'em, that's for sure! |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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I have no idea if these frog squats are any better than regular. I DO know that they cause the "lactic acid" burn something fierce! I do them because regular ones cause a searing pain to tear through my bad knees! AND even though I haven't lost much weight lately, I will tell you that my butt was pretty lumpy with cellulite and now on each cheek I have only like 2 spots of "cottage cheese" plus it's more firm back there. So in conclusion I'd have to say these do work. |
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Straylight New Member
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hey, that's a pretty dam.n good endorsement! I'm sold! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Haha, I like your civic analogy. Wow Danimae- how long have you been doing them for? |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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Oh I've been doing those on and off since January. I go through phases of forgetting to do my home workouts. Guess if I was more diligent I'd be a little less "cheesy!" |
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Straylight New Member
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whew I tried those frog squats last night and they DO burn! Feels good though! Gotta say that I liked it! My top advisor consort came over last night and we drank wine and started watching Season 11 of the Simpsons (that I JUST bought on DVD WOO HOO!!!) But I DID get the stupid drunk munchies and I think I might have gone over on my calories or barely broke even. I definitely did not have a good deficit, I will say that for sure. And then at like 4:00am I had to take the world's most giant sh.it, and it felt pretty good but it felt like intestinal fallout, really intense. But anyway, yesterday I had: -organic baby carrots -dark chocolate almonds -organic strawberries -some more dark chocolate almonds -nachos made with cheddar cheese, soy flaxseed chips and tapatio -a bunch of melted cheddar cheese -cottage cheese -white wine Calories was probably around 2100, 2000 something like that! And the scale this morning reflected my indulgence with a total weight of 150.2 and a body fat percentage of 32.4% which means I am carrying around 48.66 pounds of fat, which does not make me very happy but oh well. It was fun to get silly and enjoy some good food. It would have been nice if I'd shown some restraint, but I didn't.... oh well! Hopefully today will be good and I can have a really nice official weigh-in tomorrow. I am going to a party tonight with my friend Eric and I am meeting my ninja consort there. My friend Eric has never been to a party like I am taking him to, so he is excited, and I am excited for him! I think he will really like it. (it's basically like a little rave, right, but people don't usually actually SAY rave, that's more what Fox News and the police say, but then sometimes actual ravers will call it a rave when they are trying to explain it or be cute or funny.) did you like that little subcultural lesson? did you take notes? Come on, that was some American anthropology right there! |
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Straylight New Member
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oh AND I was so happy yesterday evening, my mutual fund account actually went up $91 bucks which was great! I was really, really happy. I have been buying a lot more shares lately since the prices dropped so low, so when it goes up at all, I get a lot more money, so that makes me really happy! YAY!!!! That is like $91 totally free bucks. That is awesome! |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh yeah, and yesterday, I got a notice from the parking violations bureau, I am fighting my parking ticket. I fight every ticket I get, even parking tickets. And a lot of the time I win. On this one, I am making the statement that I was wrongfully ticketed, that it was a Tuesday, not a Monday, and so I was parked on the correct side of the street and the ticketer must have gotten confused! So it's great! Even if I have to end up paying the ticket, I can still buy myself a bunch of time before I actually have to cough up anything. And if they tell me I have to pay, I always contest the decision and ask for another administrative review. It's great! I am also fighting another traffic ticket that is under review right now as well, and it's super great because the a-hole cop that gave it to me has to write up this report as to exactly what happened and he has to do that in addition to his other duties and it's busywork and I know he doesnt want to do it and so it;s like hahaha my boss says her husband also fights every ticket he gets and he usually wins. So I say don't pay your tickets! Fight them! |
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lastten New Member
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I work with a guy who has an attorney buddy and his speciality is making parking/speeding tickets disappear. Evidently it is cheaper to pay him then the effects of the ticket on your record. I have only gotten on ticket and it was for j-walking in Waikiki. It was totally stupid b/c I crossed with like 30 Japanese tourists and I figure I got the ticket b/c the cop figured I was the only who spoke english. Oh well, it was only $40 bucks and hubby likes to rub it in once in a while. Hope you have a great time at your party! |
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Straylight New Member
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Cool, I think tickets are really stupid. I will keep everyone posted on what happens. Tickets are such a racket. And the people that give them out really SUCK!!!! Miserable little turnips. |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh YES! Today is my official weigh-in day, and indeed the gods have smiled upon me today. The scale said I weigh 148.6 pounds total weight with a body fat percentage of (drum roll please...) 31.3% !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means I am carrying around 46.51 pounds of fat. That is my lowest fat weight ever since I started 31 days ago! WOO HOO!!!! And that party last night was very fun too. I got to see my ninja consort AND I met this other dude there and I went to give him a hug and RIGHT when I hugged him, the phone he had in his pocket that was exactly crotch level to me totally vibrated and I was like oh YEAH! I am going to hug this guy until this call stops! lol |
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Straylight New Member
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So, to run the numbers, I have now lost a total of 7.6 pounds total weight, 4.9 of which was fat. So that is awesome! I am so pleased! That's great results for a month! (Well, a month and a day, but still...!) |
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desperategirl New Member
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Well done on the 140s!!! That rocks. Also well done on the parking tickets. they are so stern on that in england, I've contested them, but never won, so it makes me very happy that not only have you won some, but also that you're creating extra paper work for some a.nal traffic policeman who should get a real job. woohoo! thanks for your post. only a couple more days of this TOM rollercoaster of tears and tantrums. DG |
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Straylight New Member
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Yes, I can't tell you how happy I am to be in the 140s. It's great! My ninja consort is coming over in a few hours, so I need to get myself ready. I haven't showered yet today! and my friend eric just left. He totally reminds me of Bob Saget. It's so funny, it just hit me today that's who he TOTALLY reminds me of! |
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Straylight New Member
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Pfffft--and how great is it that I am now out of the obese range for body fat and am now in the acceptable range. I am so glad that I am now accpetable! sheesh |
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sizzle New Member
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Grats on your withdrawl from obesity! Your losing weight like......I don't know....something awesome though, I'm sure!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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God, I hate that word obese--and I can't believe that until this morning I was considered obese. I mean really, when I think of obese, I think of the Comic Book Guy, you know? I guess the clinical definition of obese is really different from what most people think of when they think of obese. sheesh! I guess there's morbidly obese, maybe that's the clinical definition of the Comic Book Guy, I don't know. |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, there are levels of obesity--get this: There is Class I, Class II, and Class III obesity and class III is further broken down into severe obesity, morbid obesity, and super obesity. That's according to the BMI. |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator
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Congrats on your accomplishment! Yeah, when a lot of people think of obese, they're usually thinking of morbidly obese. I'm borderline obese myself, both according to BMI and to actual body fat percent. It's funny - a lot of people are like, "I heard that this guy weighs over 200 POUNDS! THAT'S ENORMOUS!!!" Yet, they probably really don't know what 200 pounds actually looks like. I'm 214, but most people I've talked to put me about 170-190. There are so many factors at work to determine it. The important thing is that YOU are happy (and healthy). Kudos. |
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Straylight New Member
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yeah, I hear you, I hate telling people my weight because I think it sounds really big, and usually people can't believe it when I tell them I weigh around 150, they usually put me around 130. (unless maybe they are blowing smoke up my as.s, which is always a possibility). But yeah, I think when people hear obese, they are thinking morbidly obese. But even the word obese sounds all crazy fat, you know? I mean, say it out loud: OBESE it reminds me of Jabba the Hutt. Because it sounds like "a beast" And I told one of my consorts that I was out of being obese and he started laughing and he was like when were you ever obese? And I said YESTERDAY DUDE!!! And he rolled his eyes until I showed him the numbers and he was like wow! I would have never thought that obese meant what it actually means! Do you know that almost everybody is obese then? Weird... |
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CrimsonAnimus Moderator
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Good heavens!!! I was gone for every bit of a few minutes to update the Challenge log and do very brief browsing...I come back, and you have replied to eighty billion diaries, and in a pretty detailed manner, I might add. I thought I typed fast at 120-130 WPM, but you would probably blow me away. Yes...Jabba the Hutt is what comes to my mind, too, when I think of obese. Ah well. Live long and prosper!!! (Oops, wrong series... ) |
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Straylight New Member
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live long and prosper is what the vulcans say, right? I don't know how fast I type, but I know it's pretty fast. I don't think it's faster than 120 - 130 or 130 - 150 or whatever you said though. You were probably gone longer than you think. I don't know. Maybe I should time myself. I thought I did once and clocked out at 90... anyway, I weighed myself this morning and my big free day has once again of course moved the scale up... I ate a LOT yesterday, and I took a HUGE cr.ap this morning!!! like early before 6am, but it felt good. But even after that big release, the scale still said that I weighed 154 pounds total (that's a gain of over 5 pounds since yesterday right--) and had a body fat percentage of 32.2%, meaning that I had also gained 3 pounds of fat since yesterday. I have been doing the free day thing long enough now though to expect a sudden spike in the scale numbers, especially after the day AFTER the big food fest. It generally takes about 3 - 4 days for those numbers to go back down to around normal level again, and then there is usually a dramatic drop between day 6 and day 7 of my weekly food cycle. So, anyway, I am not too worried about the weight gain. But here is what I ate yesterday, and it was a lot -pizza with pepperoni and jalapenos, an entire medium pizza. Okay, maybe not the ENTIRE pizza, as I left a few crusts, but basically the entire pizza WITH a side of ranch dressing mind you -piece of spumoni cake -Jack in the Box Side Sampler (popcorn chicken, mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce, jalapeno poppers) -Jack in the Box egg nog shake -Jack in the Box Sourdough Jack -fresh pineapple -dark chocolate covered almonds -some strawberries so WHEW! No wonder the scale moved so much (and my bowels moved so much!) but it felt good, and I am definitely ready to start eating healthy again this week. Actually, I am ready to eat like nothing because I am stuffed, but I will make sure the bulk of my food today is fruit and veggies. And water. Speaking of that, I am REALLY thirsty like right now! |
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Straylight New Member
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oh MAN now that is the second big cr.ap I had to take this morning and now my caboose is totally on fire (the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!) and I bet that's not the end of it either. and I DON'T think it has anything to do with the colon cleanse really, I think it is my body trying to process that glut of processed food I put in it yesterday. Now I enjoyed the glut of processed food, so I am taking full responsiblity for the roof being on fire, but I am definitely glad I only do that once a week. I think that is the perfect thing, although the Monday morning burns are a definite price to pay... |
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Straylight New Member
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Wow! I was just looking an my finances today too (well I look at them every day), and since I started eating healthier and pretty much just making the bulk of my meals myself instead of getting fast food (which is what I used to do), I have saved a LOT of money. I seriously have about $230 than I usually have. This is FANTASTIC!!!! Who would have thought that eating healthy would pay off financially? But it TOTALLY does!!! I can't believe I spent that much on fast food. But I guess I did! I have no idea what I will do with the extra money, but I am just happy to have it! And just on a nice little aside: I had missed calls from 4 of my consorts when I woke up this morning. I fell asleep on the couch after getting back from my little date, I have no idea what time I fell asleep because I don't use clocks except for during the week to keep appointments or get to work on time. But that was a nice surprise! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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That's funny that you don't use clocks. LOL, we have one in every room of the house. Some rooms have two or three. I hate not knowing what time it is.... We are just as bad about calenders. |
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Straylight New Member
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I love not knowing what time it is. It makes me feel like I am on vacation. And it also sort of makes me feel primal, like more in natural rhythm instead of going along with a clock. Eat when you're hungry, not when it's noon. Sleep when you're tired, not when it's 10:30pm or whatever time you usually go to bed, that sort of thing. I went for a run this morning, interspersed with mountain climbers and it felt GREAT! I try to make myself run a little farther every time. And indeed I ran a little farther this morning, so that was nice. I also went and got my nails done (fingers and toes) in black. I am getting some photos taken of me professionally on Saturday, so I wanted to have the nails done. Plus I am going to a Halloween party this weekend and seeing my top advisor consort (and probably some other ones too) so I want to look really good. I plan to get my hair done (colored and styled) on Halloween and then going shopping for some new duds tomorrow. I am excited to see what size pants I can fit into now because my work pants are now really baggy, so I am pretty sure I have gone down at least one size. I am also back on track with my meditation after being lazy about it for a week or so. It feels good to be on my schedule again, it makes such a difference in my outlook, and it feels so good to do it. |
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Straylight New Member
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oh but now here's an interesting development--I am bleeding (very little, but still bleeding) and it is like day 11 of my cycle. I don't recall ever doing this before, although knows, I have been bleeding since I was 11 so there's probably some stuff I don't remember. I am pretty sure this is because my diet and activity level has changed so drastically. Have any other chicks experienced this? |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I've only ever spotted when changing birth control methods. Or when I forget to take a couple pills I start right away. I especially "spotted" when I was on the shot, but it was more like a full out period! For like 6 months straight! It sucked. That's funny it's happening when you're eatting healthier. I guess that probably happens, maybe your hormones are re-adjusting? Hopefully it doesn't make you miss one! I hate it when that happens, I get so freaked out! |
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Straylight New Member
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ideally i want to turn into one of those women who hardly notice their periods, so maybe this spotting is the beggining of that, hormones readjusting, etc. Let's hope so! That would be so cool! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, I went into work and trained another foster family--they are all done with training now, and I have my homestudy interview scheduled with them for Nov. 9th. They are a very motivated couple and they got their stuff done real quick. One of them was in foster care herself, so she will be really understanding about all of the issues that foster children can have, so that is a really good thing. I didn't eat that much today, as I said, I still feel sorta full from yesterday, so I had: -organic baby carrots -Fearless Frank with tapatio sauce (I need to find a hot sauce that is preservative-free) -some dark chocolate covered almonds -an avocado -some fresh pineapple -green tea in the morning and then one cup at night to get through my training -glass of white wine probably just under 1200 calories for the day. And once again, I ordered pizza for the foster parents to eat at the training, and I did not feel tempted in the least. I also got them Oreos and I was not tempted at all to eat them, which is really really good! It's great! I am so happy about that! |
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sizzle New Member
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Nice work on avoiding the bad stuff. Pizza is my kryptonite. Haven't touched it since I started this diet though. P.S. How do you eat the avocados? With salt and pepper? Plain? With lemon? I know they're a great source of healthy fat so I was just curious. |
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Straylight New Member
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lol, kryptonite you're so funny! KIDS! REMEMBER YOUR WEAKNESS IS KRYPTONITE! Geez Marge, tell the whole neighborhood! I am telling you, having the one cheat day a week keeps me so completely disciplined during the week, it's unbelievable. It was a tomato and basil pizza too, so normally, I would be like drooling, it smelled really good, but it was GREAT, I didn't want any. As for the avocados, I just eat them straight--scoop it out of the skin, put it in a bowl and just eat it. I think they are sooooo good! Incidentally, they are also good for your hair and skin, so if you have one that got a little too ripe to eat, you can mash it up and put it on your face or your hair. Leave it on for 20 minutes and then wash it off! (Probably something a girl would do more thana guy, but hey, dudes can use nice skin and hair too!) So, the scale this morning has gone down from yesterday, thank Christ! I now weigh 151.4 with a body fat percentage of 32.2, which means I am carrying around 48.75 pounds of fat, that is about an .84 pound drop in the fat reading since yesterday, so I am pleased with that. Also, check THIS out: I get to work yesterday, and there is a little tiny stuffed koala bear sitting on my desk with a card. I open the card, and it says all this really nice stuff like I hope this brightens your day and week you are a ray of sunshine and deserve the best and it's signed "Joe" and I am thinking who the f.uck is Joe? He sure is nice to give me this card, but WHO IS HE? The only thing I can think of is that its the maintenance dude that I talked to two Saturdays ago when I went into the office to use the stairs for a workout. It's a mystery though, I could have sworn that dude's name was Fernando, but maybe I am getting him mixed up with the cleaning dude whose name is Francisco. Hmmmm it was really sweet though! The little koala bear is cute! and the card was super-nice. It's just confounding is all! |
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SquidGirl Member
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That's so funny about the koala bear! I wish random people would give me stuffed animals : D Congratulations on the fat loss too! |
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sizzle New Member
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Alright, I admit it! I can't go on living a lie. I left the bear and the card. Man, I'm sweet! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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sizzle wrote: Alright, I admit it! I can't go on living a lie. I left the bear and the card. Man, I'm sweet! LOL, well where is mine? Dam.mit....lol |
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desperategirl New Member
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the running sounds great...it's so cool reading all these diaries from all these really different landscapes - it's ace that you can go running in the mountains. so, a soft toy and card...sounds like yet another admirer! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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sizzle wrote: Alright, I admit it! I can't go on living a lie. I left the bear and the card. Man, I'm sweet! hahaha, she's mine and 5 other consorts', back off! Where do you find those soy flaxseed chips? I really want to try them. |
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Straylight New Member
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Wow, I just went into the office with the intention of doing a quick stair workout and ended up being there forEVER handling stuff that just happened to come up while I was there, and I got so busy I forgot to eat and I was so happy I had my protein shake stuff there. But I did do the stair workout--I can now run up and down the stairs 9 times, which is great because I used to be ready to pass out after 5 times up and down, so that's almost double! And I did some crunches and those killer frog squats that Dani taught me. I can do 12 now. Boy, do they burn! But I got a lot of work done, which is cool, I have to go to a homestudy interview tonight, which will keep me out probably until 8pm or so. My big plan is to go sunbathe a little and maybe I'll even take a nap, I don't know, I am tired now! The bear and the card were indeed sent by Joe the maintenance guy, as confirmed by my coworker Elaine. So, that was very nice of him. It wasn't you sizzle, so don't try to play it off like it was. Although I think it was you that left me tethered like this: (thanks a lot) Attached Image (viewed 63 times): Last edited on 28 October 2008 09:16 pm by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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I don't run in the mountains, I just run around the block and then run on the stairs at the office. I live in L.A., so everything's pretty flat. The soy flaxseed chips are from Trader Joe's and they are AWESOME! |
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sizzle New Member
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In the words of Joe Dirt, "Daaaang". Now who's getting kinky, yah? That's hot. |
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Straylight New Member
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that was from a photo shoot. there was nobody else there except the photographer. I was just trying to look really scared |
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sizzle New Member
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Photo shoot for what?? Soooo curious. You do look scared in the photo. I was think maybe the Kielbasa Kid was behind you or something. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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LOL, I didn't even think that was you. You do look scared... |
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Straylight New Member
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No, haha, I tried to imagine some crazy maniac cop with a blowtorch to get that look on my face. That photoshoot, i forget the photographer's name, but he basically let me choose all my own poses/scenarios because I thought his were boring. So I came up with a bunch of kind of scary/sexy stuff. He was just into the stupid sit on the stool and smile stuff which I think is TOTALLY LAME AND BORING but i will do whatever the photographer wants (just no pink shots), but if he's willing to give me creative license, then I am all over it. |
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sizzle New Member
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No pink shots? But what if you want the photo to be extra classy? P.S. I liked the song that you linked on my diary. I'm a techno fan toooooo. I can jog to this song nonstop.....or until my lungs explode at least. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0oMwKnU3OM |
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Straylight New Member
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I think pink shots are gross, and I just don't do those. I mean I know that men like to look at those shots and I understand the market for it, but some other chick can have that job, not me!! I don't mind doing artistic nude stuff or political nude stuff or even silly nude stuff, but pink shots are basically where I draw the line. I need to go check out that song... hold on... |
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Straylight New Member
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awww, i love that song. It was actually something I have had and just didn't know who did it or what it was called. nice! it's beautiful actually. i really like it it makes me feel full of hope |
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sizzle New Member
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Oh man, we're onto 6th page lovin'. Yeah, it's actually in the movie Vanilla Sky (I really enjoyed that movie except the whole Kurt Russell/interview part) I like that you call them pink shots. Did you coin that or is it an industry standard? |
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Straylight New Member
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no i didn't make up pink shots, that's an industry standard, lol. When my friend was giving birth, she filmed it, but she said no pink shots! okay nobody needs to see it crowning! she's hilarious! |
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sizzle New Member
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Yeah, no pink shots is agreed. What was the occasion for the photoshoot? Just being awesome? Was that the only picture? You look great by the way. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Was this the cop you saw? |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Awe, man it didn't show... how do you post a picture? |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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  She's freakin scary!!! |
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sizzle New Member
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Scary how? |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Don't know, ask straylight, she's the one that was so scared. |
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sizzle New Member
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I'll take a cop like that anytime. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Hahaha, yeah, I've been arrested by worse! |
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Straylight New Member
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no, but who is that cop? Is it YOU Sara? I definitely wasn't picturing a cute sexy female cop, I was picturing a really crazy big male cop. You know my mother was murdered by a crazy cop who was going around killing chicks and cutting their female parts and organs out. so.... I guess I have an inherent fear of cops. !!!!! Dale Anderson was his name. In Illinois. 1986. |
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Straylight New Member
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And Sara, have you really been arrested? For what? I mean technically, even getting pulled over is considered an arrest, because your freedom is restricted and you have to pull over and listen to the cop, you're not free to go on your way. But I have only been arrested once, like hauled into the station one time and they never formally charged anyone, just hassled us. We were all young, like 18 - 20 and we had no idea what our rights were. The cops said that we constituted a gang because we were all dressed similar in jeans and polo shirts. It was totally bogus. I wish I'd had a better handle on the law then and I would have stood up for myself and all my friends. They made us all come into the station and questioned us about our political beliefs. Then they let us go. What a load. At least I got to keep my uterus though that's a plus... |
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Straylight New Member
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Sizzle: I just like taking pictures and being creative in that way. I have another shoot coming up this Saturday, but it is not paid, it is to help the photographer build her portfolio. She is very cool--she has a website: hintonbeauty.com I have never been to a female photographer before, but I like her work. She is a hair and make-up artist too. I kind of want to do some Blade Runner type pictures. Thank you for the compliment too. That handcuff picture is a bit dated, let me see if I can post something more recent of what I look like: Attached Image (viewed 175 times): |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Yeah, having a uterus always brightens my day. Haha, that constitutes a gang? Then all sorority girls should get arrested... they dress the exact same! I was arrested for some things when I was a minor. 2 MIPs, once for a fake I.D., twice for driving on a suspended license... the first time I didn't know it was suspended (it was for a late fee on a speeding ticket I forgot to pay) and the second time I was trying to help out the cops who asked me for help while investigating some bushes... stupid. The last time was for a probation violation (I wasn't allowed to be drinking and it was a friend of mine's bday and I got caught). It was pretty much just a bad streak. Anyway though, I'm completely off of probation Dec. 5th, and I'm allowed to drink now. I ended up knowing a lot of the cops around here (not good). That's where those pictures came from, it was my Halloween costume last year. The cops that night were pretty cool though, they let me arrest them and I even squirted one of them with my squirt gun! |
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Straylight New Member
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awww, well I am glad you are getting off probation soon. I had a few friends that got MIPs. They suck (the MIPs, not my friends). yeah, those cops that night were just in the mood to be jerks, so they picked on us and hassled us. I mean, lots of people dress similar, including businessmen, sorority girls, people in church choirs, etc. They were just being a-holes and we were too uninformed to stand up for ourselves! you look really great! You can book me anytime girl! Maybe we could spend some time in the evidence locker, what do you think? But mostly I would want to be arrested by this guy: http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t313/RawSenses/officerBarbrady.gif |
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sizzle New Member
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Look at how tan you are Stray. Getting a lot of that L.A. sun eh? P.S. Yeah, and Sarah is looking good in that cop outfit! Scary??.....to quote Stray "Sheeeeit". |
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Straylight New Member
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I am Costa Rican but I also help it along a lot by laying out. I like to be tan as possible. I like to feel like I am on vacation all the time, and I like to remind people of being on vacation when they look at me, you know? it's sheeeyit negro, that's all you had to say gotta love jules winnfield! and the wolf you ARE a character, that is not to say that you HAVE character. oh this one DAAAAAMN!!! MS. PARKER'S FINER THAN A MOTHERF.CKER!!! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Thanks guys . I'm only about 5 lbs away that I was when that picture was taken... I'm really excited to get back! |
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Straylight New Member
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sara: that's awesome! 5 pounds is nothing! |
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Straylight New Member
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Just got back from work, had a REALLY late homestudy interview that was pretty far away, so I got back at nine. Luckily I don't have to be in the office until 1:45 tomorrow, so that's cool. God, I have the munchies like crazy, I don't know why. I'm not even about to bleed or anything. I could probably have some chips... yeah and still be safe. Maybe some chips AND a glass of wine. I had better make sure I study at least a little bit for my test before I drink the wine though. So let me go do that for a little while anway... |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, so I studied for a bit, I don't know, 15 - 20 minutes. That's better than skipping studying, which was what I wanted to do (the big test is on 11/14/08!) So, this is what I had to eat today: -egg fried with butter -strawberries, peanut butter, and dark chocolate almonds -whey protein shake -beet chips -white wine -raw almonds -2 fearless franks with hot mustard and tapatio calories: probably around 1600 or so. Something like that! Whew! Now I am going to watch adult swim and really enjoy my couch! My blue-eyed jew consort asked if I wanted to hang out tonigt, but man I am so wiped out, I totally don't want to! |
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Straylight New Member
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Well the scale this morning did not bear the greatest of news, but I am cool with it. It said total weight was 150.6 with a body fat percentage of 32.7%, which means a fat mass of 49.25 pounds. Of course, I would liked to see other numbers, but this is pretty normal for the scale on a Wednesday. I have noticed that the shape of my back is getting more defined, which is great. I am starting to have like more of a dip right above my as.s, which is nice, makes for a cool looking curve. Had really cool dreams last night. My ethereal consort was in one of them and it made me happy to wake up thinking of him. Awwww, he is such a beautiful man. Dang, it gives my stomach little butterflies thinking of him. incidentally, and this may be TMI but oh well, my diary is full of TMI, the ethereal consort is the first man who ever, shall we say, showed me the mountaintop in the bedroom. Not the first guy who ever CLIMBED the mountain, mind you, that is another consort, but the first one who ever actually reached the peak of the mountain. So he always has a special place in my heart (and in other places, lol!) |
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Straylight New Member
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All right, well I went for another run this morning, and it felt really good! I run a little farther every time, and that makes me feel really happy! Now I can get down the corner and run to the NEXT corner after that. When I first started, I could barely get halfway down my block that my place is on! I can also do 13 of those frog squats now. Wow! Do they burn! They are really hard! I also walked my laundry down to the laundromat, so that was probably about 3/4 of a mile there and back, pretty cool, also carrying a fairly heavy load. Some dude stopped to talk to me and ask me for my phone number while I was carrying the laundry and I was thinking man if you were REALLY cool you'd offer to help carry this thing! but oh well can't win em all! But that's cool, more calories burned for me. I am also starting to see definition in my arms, which is nice. I can't wait until I have REALLY defined arms, that will be awesome! I am thinking of doing more push-ups too to strengthen my chest muscles, I think those are good for making the breasts sit as high as possible as well. And I like to keep the girls riding high, you know? lol |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I tried those frog squats and they do really burn! More than regular squats too! |
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Straylight New Member
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yeah--they are AWESOME! I love them, and I can't wait to see more definition in my legs. WOO HOO! I just got in from sunbathing. I really love the book I am reading The Science Of Mind it is amazing. So, I have to get ready to go to work now. I will post later in the evening! Calories are REALLY low today, I just haven't been that hungry, but that's okay because they have been higher the last few days (1500- 1800) and plus I usully get hungry later in the day. I am NOT going shopping until I have eaten everything in the house! See how long I can stretch it for. I am excited. This is the 7th day so far. I am proud of myself! |
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lastten New Member
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ha ha, I do that too...wait till my house is completely empty! Then I wonder why my grocery bill is crazy high. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I have to start budgeting my groceries too . I'm going to try to keep my food bill (including coffees) to under $20/week. Not easy to do with healthy foods!!! But I just checked my account today and I only have 1800 for the rest of the sememster  ! |
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Straylight New Member
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I am pretty sure I will have to go on Friday for groceries. I am down to a handful of almonds, 3 eggs, two handfuls of chocolate almonds, one fearless frank, about 1/10 bag of beet chips, a 1/2 block of cheese, and one thing of green tea. Oh yeah ,and one more glass of wine. So yeah, tomorrow will be time to go to the store. Oh wait WAIT! I do have a bunch of peanut butter and honey left. Maybe I could go until Saturday. Hmmmmm.... We shall see! As for today, I ate the following: -some raw almonds -a small portion of chicken breast -handful of black almonds -peanut butter and honey -handful of beet chips calories probably around 1200... I might drink a glass of wine and then that will up it to about 1300 (because it's probably only 3.5 ounces of wine) I did have a good day today. Got in some good studying for my test, saw my kids, had a VERY interesting spiritual discussion with one of my girls, had a good conversation with one of my foster fathers, and also got some candy bracelets from my friend, like 6 of them which was very cool, and I was informed that these bracelets are still cool, which is hilarious to me because they were all the rage in like 1995! So that's frickin' hilarious! And I got to meet this cool chick from corporate today, and I think she liked me, I made her laugh and made her say far out which is cool i love to hear people say older #%@&! like far out and groovy it's so cute! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, i don't know what happened to what I just posted. But anyway-- The scale this morning said I had a total weight of 149.4 (a drop of 1.2 pounds since yesterday's weigh-in) with a body fat percentage of 31.8%, (a drop of .9% since yesterday), making me carrying around 47.51 pounds of fat (a 1,7 drop since yesterday!) So that is great! My goal by Sunday is to have my fat pounds be less than 46.51. I know I can do it! I hardly have ANYTHING left to eat today, so it should be pretty easy to stay within a good calorie range! |
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Straylight New Member
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I just went to go take out the recycling, and my neighbor was out there getting into his car for work. My neighbor is a crazy mofo--handsome enough dude, actually REALLY handsome really if you like the built, long-haired latino type in glasses, which I do but anyway he is totally married with children that are like in their upper teens and so of course I would not consider making him one of my consorts but when i first moved in the bastard asked me to be his girl and he offered me a ring, and I was like aren't you MARRIED dude? and our complex is SMALL! It's only six units and EVERYONE there is related by blood or marriage except for me and my neighbors across the way, otherwise it's like 3 generations of Salvadorans up in here, and I can't believe he would think we could have an affair and get away with it. I mean, could you get any stupider? Anyway, I rejected his offer and the stupid ring and then he let it go after that and has since just been friendly to an appropriate level, but whenever I see him, I still can't help thinking what a dumbas.s!!!! anyway, on another note, I was just listening to this song on the radio, and the dude sampled in it was talking about negative G-force causing redouts instead of blackouts because of the amount of blood going to the head. That sounded interesting. I need to research it, or if anyone knows anything about that, drop some knowledge! |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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Glad to hear that those goofy squats are a hit with you. I am up to doing 2 sets of 15. At first I could barely do 8 and the next day I could hardly walk! I just put some Metallica on my mp3 player to work out to and let me tell you....it actually works! I had that elliptical moving faster than ever! Got my heart rate up to 170 it did! Have a great day! |
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Straylight New Member
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yeah, music REALLY helps with the workouts, you can put so much more into it, it seems. I love it! I showed my coworker those frog sqauts and she was all over them. Gotta love the acid burn! lol A long and very tedious day yesterday. My job is trying to make me see ALL of my clients on the same day to get out of having to pay me more mileage, but it's just not going to work. My foster parents don't like me being at the house until 8pm, that cuts into their family time/homework time/dinner, etc. So I am just going to have to tell me work that I am sorry about the mileage, but I will have to split my visits into two days. As of December 1st, they will be saving a bunch on mileage anyway because they are making Redlands my home office, so... they can put up with an extra $240 this month in order for me to provide optimal services. Besides, who wants to see an exhausted counselor that already had to work 10 hours before you even see them? That's not fair to my clients OR me! It was a good day food-wise. I kept up a decent deficit and this is what I ate: -green tea (I need to buy more today, I am totally out. I will have chai this morning, but then I need my green tea!) -egg fried in butter -beet chips -Fearless Frank with melted cheddar cheese -melted cheddar cheese with cinnamon -black almonds probably around 1500 calories. The scale this morning showed another blessed drop, saying my total weight was 149.8 and my body fat percentage was 31.6%, which means I am carrying around 47.34 pounds of fat, which is a .17 pound drop in fat since yesterday. I also got a date for Sunday set up with my top advisor consort, which is really cool because we will get to go swimming, which I really like AND I will get to show off my new and improved body which I am super happy with right now. And I also had a nice, long conversation with my etheral consort except I totally fell asleep during it because I was exhuasted from my 13-hour workday with 3 hour travel time in there. Whew! It was funny too because I was talking and then I just wasn't talking and then I just woke up like 5 hours later and of course the phone was just off. I don't know when I fell asleep or what, but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I am going to get my hair re-blonded today which will be cool and tomorrow I am going for that photo shoot which should also be way cool! I have the day off work, so that is cool. Also, I got a placement in my North Hollywood home yesterday, so that is awesome! I am so glad! A teen girl with a baby (well, a toddler, not a baby so much anymore). |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I can't wait to see the photos from your shoot. So, your going blond for them? That should be cool. I like the pic on here with you in blond hair. Anyway, that's to bad about work and them trying to cut corners. Geezz, price of gas is going down and all. You would think that would help some. I just hate when programs make cuts, cause it the clients that end up suffering for it. I know through the daycare, whenever some program gets cut, my parents and kids allows suffer from it. It's sad cause some of them really need the services offered. Ok, well no school today and the kids are bouncing off the walls. So, we are off to the park.... talk to ya later |
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Straylight New Member
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You know what I actually had to cancel that photo shoot because I thought more and more about it, and the person doing the shoot is the (very much grown at 27 years old) daughter of one of my foster parents. At the time that we discussed doing the photo shoot, I was not working int he foster home. But in the interim, that foster home got a placement, and now I feel weird about keeping the appointment. Although the woman is grown and does not reside in the same home as the foster parents nor even in the same city or county, I just can't help but feel that if my new placement there were to find out, it might make her feel weird, and I want to keep my working relationship with my girl pure (she is 15). I just don't want to do anything that would make her feel strange. You know? So, I called and left a message for the photographer and she called back and said she totally understood and said maybe in the future we could work together. But yeah, I just felt too weird about it. And plus, she was going to do them for me for free because she considers me a friend, but she considers me a friend because of my job and the work I have done with her parents, so, you see it's all convoluted and I don't feel right about it. So oh well! I am sure another photo shoot opportunity will come up. I should just update my profile on OMP, actually, that's where I get a lot of offers from, sometimes paid too! Yeah, my work is going to have to deal with paying that mileage. I am not going to inconvenience my foster parents by coming all late to their home just because Corporate is trying to save a buck. They can make a cut somewhere else, like take one less $200 business lunch a month (which they TOTALLY do, by the way). It actually disgusts me how the big guys at the top spend money like water on totally frivolous #%@&! and then try to say there's no money so they make actual line workers who are actually seeing clients and doing important work cut corners on THEIR jobs. It's all bassackwards, and it really is honestly completely disgusting to me. Especially when you're talking about cutting corners with an already marginalized group of people that you are supposed to be helping and sometimes are their only source of aid and support. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I know what you mean about the appointment, it's almost like mixing business with pleasure kind of thing. I try real hard not to be good friends outside of daycare with the parents of my children. It cause to many problems, from who said what, to why aren't they paying, etc. I only have one parent from the daycare that I do things with, and I have watch all three of her kids and have known her for about nine years. So, I know her well enough, to know none of that is going to go on. Plus, with a photo shot, I would imagine you would want to express yourself, and that could be hard if you have to be on best behavior with this girl. lol, knowing that she looks up to you and knows your foster parents and all. Yeah! I would of skip it to. Oh well, maybe you can get some done another time. Who knows, maybe sometime you will date a consort that is a photographer. Those would be some interesting pictures, I am sure... Yep! totally agree with you on the job. Stick to your guns, make them pay until you are moved to your new home office. |
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Straylight New Member
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well, just to clarify, the person doing the photo shoot is the actual biological daughter of the foster parents who is married and lives on her own (she's 27). The foster child is the one I work with and she's 15. So I wouldn't want the 15-year-old foster daughter feeling weird that I was hanging out with her extended foster family if that makes sense, outside of a social work context... The 15-year-old would not be present at the shoot or have anything to do with it. |
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Straylight New Member
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Whew! I went to get my hair re-blonded, and it looks great! Can't wait for my consort to get here! I DID screw up a little bit today though... after all my talk about being so good during the week, I took a really long walk (to and from the hair salon instead of driving there) of about 5.2 miles and I went for a long time without eating. Then, I stopped at a chicken cafe and got some chicken but it came with pita bread, and I ate the pita bread and THEN I had a fun-sized snickers! Oops! Oh well! If I stop now I will still have some of my dignity and I will also have retained a calorie deficit, not a very big one, but one none the less. So my goal is not to eat anything else tonight! Hopefully the scale will still be kind to me tomorrow and show some lower numbers. But right now, my stomach is full, full, full! And I am feeling a little sheepish, but oh well! You can't go back! That food was good though! #%@&! good! So, this is what I had to eat today -raw almonds -peanut butter and honey -fun-size snickers -roasted chicken with salsa -1.25 pieces of pita bread Calories: probably about 1865. WHOA NELLY! |
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Straylight New Member
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And my hair just needed reblonding, it wasn't for the shoot. I have a Halloween party to go to tomorrow and my blue-eyed jew consort should be here any minute and i need to take a freaking shower! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Don't you hate it when you rack up that many calories and hardly eat that much. It's funny some days my food list are huge, but everything on them is low calorie. Then other day the list is really small with items that have alot of calories. Anyway, don't feel bad about the snickers, I had two fun size ones last night and two milk dud things. I think thats pretty good since it's TTOM and all. Yeah, I should do something with my hair, I am getting really tired of wearing it up in a pony tail everyday. Maybe I will get it trimmed and have hubby highlight it. Making it blond would be fun, but my hair always turns orange when I do that. Anyway, have fun with your consort, talk to ya later |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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hey girl. Hope you had fun last night. To answer your question I used to work in the ITIN department which is basically giving immigrants a number to use in place of a social security number! I don't have ANNNNNNYTHING to do with any taxes other than that. Sounds like you are doing well on your diet though. I see your weight going down. |
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Straylight New Member
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I DID have fun last night. My consort fell asleep really early though, and then I was just awake, awake, awake! That was mainly because he had wine and I didn't, as I had already put enough calories into my body for the day! My friend had texted me like 4 times last night and called twice, and I got it all this morning. (I usually have my phone on silent, and I check it maybe once or twice a day, I don't like it to interrupt my immediate experience). But anyway, I guess he had gotten mugged on the way home from work at like 1am last night. Two white bro-hammy type (big truck, Volcom, beer-swilling guys). All he had on him was his dinner, but they took that. He was scared and disappointed, as he stated that it happened right in front of a bar with a lot of people drinking outside and nobody went to help him, so he lost his dinner. :( Poor guy! I asked him if he filed a police report, and he said no, what were the police going to do? I could see his point. After all, this happened in Long Beach and the police have bigger fish to fry than some white dudes stealing some Mexican dude's dinner. Pobrecito! The scale this morning said that I weighed 149.8 (again) with a body fat percentage that I can't now remember, but I already ran the calculations, and I am carrying out 47.49 pounds of fat today. That's actually a bit MORE fat than yesterday. I think I mostly blame that stupid pita bread and those darn fun-size snickers. Well, I mean I don't blame THEM--I blame myself for eating them! My big mistake yesterday was to let too many hours go in between my meals and then I was just ravenous and exercised poor judgement and impulse control. I ate some peanut butter and honey at about 11am and then I didn't eat until 6:15pm! That was because I walked to the hair salon and then it took a long time to get my hair done, and then I walked home (5.2 miles round trip). I meant to bring a bag of almonds with me so that I could snack on them, but I forgot. Then lo and behold, I stuff myself silly at 6:15 because I let about 7 hours go by in between meals! I should have eaten at least twice in the interim. I am glad I learned that lesson. I won't be doing that again. I will always have some healthy snack on-hand when I leave the house so I don't get stuck like that again. I am really hoping to be able to go below 46.5 pounds of fat by tomorrow. I am going to try really hard today to keep it low-calorie, like hopefully in the triple digits. I am going to a Halloween party tonight, and will probably have like 3 glasses of wine, which is about 375 calories. So, after my breakfast of raw almonds and raisins that I am eating right now, I have about 400 calories to play with until I leave for the party. Sheesh! It will be tough, but it will be worth it! I know I can do it! I already walked like 1.5 miles this morning, around the block and then to the store to pick up some green tea, which I ran out of, so that's pretty good! And I don't know exactly what time it is since I don't clockwatch on the weekends, but I know it's not superearly, so I think I will be good if I just eat something small every 2 hours until I leave for the party at like 6. I might try having an additional cup of green tea as well. On a very interesting note, yesterday on the way home from the hair salon, I was walking, of course, and a largish man with glasses and a mop of curly hair who was sitting smoking a cigarette outside a building gave me a compliment, telling me I looked beautiful. I smiled and said thank you, and then decided to stop because I saw that the cigarette he was smoking was hand-rolled, which is pretty much the only kind of cigarettes I will smoke, and I figured I could get one from him, so I asked him if he could roll me one. He looked very happy and said of course, and he extended his hand for me to shake, which I did. On his hand was a bracelet, like a hospital bracelet, and I glanced up at the building I had stopped in front of (as I had not been paying attention), and it was a psychiatric faciility. I let that register for a minute and felt sort of weird for a second but then I thought what, are you too good to chat and share a smoke with a mental patient? What, do you think he's going to attack you here on the street? And then I just went with it, and other patients came over to see who he was talking to, and some of them had strange-ish looks in their eyes like they were afraid or uncertain, but all of them smiled back when I smiled. A staff member came out, a handsome light-skinned black dude, but he sort of hung back, didn't interfere and he was friendly. I think he just wanted to make sure nothing happened. But nothing did, I had a nice chat with the man who had originally complimented me and another big white guy with a goofy smile and blue eyes came by and joined the conversation. I could tell they were a little "off" so to speak, but the conversation made basic sense, and nobody did anything scarey. We talked about books and authors. At one point, the dude with glasses asked me if I was his aunt, which I thought was funny. I probably stayed and talked with them for about five minutes or so and then continued on my home. It was an interesting experience, and one I would not have had if I had driven instead of walked to the salon. And it really made me think about people and how we are so afraid of certain groups of people or treat people differently because they are, say, a prostitute, or a mental patient, or delayed, or whatever... because I won't lie to you, when I saw that hospital band and looked up and saw that it was a psych facility my stomach did a little flip-flop and I considered leaving. But I thought--why? Why leave? And me being a social worker and everything, I am the proverbial champion of the underdog, and I really do believe that the messed-up way we treat entire groups of people contributes to their marginalization in a big way. I mean, it's bad enough to have some mental problems, but then when everyone treats you like a leper because you have mental problems, that can only create MORE mental problems! And the same with anything--there's some sociological term for it, I want to say it's called labeling theory, but I am not sure, but basically the phenomenon that people will become whatever labels we give them. Last edited on 1 November 2008 07:03 pm by Straylight |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Thats actually very interesting that you told us that story. That is one of the things that I am studying in school right now. I am studying to be a rehabilitation counselor for people with disabilities but most people think of PHYSICAL disabilities when they hear "disabled". There is a lot of prejudice against mental disabilities...(actually all disabilities if we are being honest), but they are people too...they just might not be "wired" quite the same as us. I suppose the ones you really gotta be afraid of are the ones who are serial killers....eh but hopefully your gut instinct will let you know. Cool stuff man....cool stuff. Also...a halloween party tonight? |
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Straylight New Member
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Tamale: So glad to hear from you again! I missed ya! Is your husband still in the US or is he back in Iraq? Post some pics of the wedding! Also, I am sure that these psych patients were pretty low-level as far as dangerousness goes or else they would not be allowed out of the facility like that, and plus the facility was located right on a busy street, so they would have to only serve low-level patients there or they could not have the building located there, probably. I know out in San Bernardino, there is a place called Patton, which IS for the criminally insane serial-killer types and that place is located way out of the way and it's completely locked down, the patients are definitely not allowed contact with the outside world because they pose too big of a risk, and most of them there have committed some sort of very violent crime (murder, rape, etc). Yes, my friend is throwing a Halloween party in Orange County tonight. I am not going to dress up, but I plan on having a lot of serious fun! I am doing good on my calories too, so far. I am now enjoying another bowl of raisins and almonds (180 calories), so today so far I have only have 310 calories, and I also decided I would drink vodka at the party instead of wine, because it's lower calorie. |
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Straylight New Member
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I forgot to take my colon cleanse pills last night, so oops! I started up again this morning. Didn't have any really good releases, but that is OK. Had a sort of puny one about a half-hour ago, but oh well, I am sure a big one is in the mail, lol! Also, when I got back from putting gas in the car, my little neighor Matthew (he's five) was outside on his porch reading a book on anatomy. I hung out with him for a little bit and talked about the body and how it works. I showed him how to feel his pulse in his carotid artery and he thouhgt that was cool. I also showed him the veins in my arms and he found some of his own veins, which he also thought was very exciting. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Hey, how long is your cleanse suppose to last. I thought about doing something like that, but I think I would have to quit the fiber thing that I do, cause it would be to much on my body. But, thought the cleanse would help me get rid of the stomach roll thing, I got going on. Anyway, was just curious, when you get done you'll have to tell us what results you got from it. Also, just got to say, I think it's great that you take time out of your day, to talk to people. So, many people now a days are to into their own little world to even say hi, let alone stop and talk. I guess that's why I live in a small town, lol. Last edited on 3 November 2008 08:46 am by |
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Straylight New Member
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My colon cleanse lasts until the capsules are gone. Then, I have heard you do a bottle of capsules every 2 months to keep things going. So once I am done with this bottle, I will wait 2 months (from the time I actually finish) and then start another cleanse. They say you can take 3 - 5 pills twice a day (so that means 6 - 10 pills daily), and I go at the lowest dosage just because I want everything to be gentle. I am not exactly sure when I started, but I want to say probably about a month ago. It's hard to say too what the colon cleanse has done because I have changed so many other variables about my lifestyle as well in the last 5 weeks that I couldn't say what is due to what, you know what I mean? I mean, I exercise a lot more than I used to, I eat much more healthy than I used to, and I drink green tea regularly and I never used to do that, so all of those things, along with the colon cleanse probably work together to give me the good results I have been getting. Oh yeah, AND I got back into a serious meditation schedule after being way lazy about it, and I think that makes a big difference too. I mean, I can tell you that I have lost a lot of weight (9 pounds in 5 weeks), I have a much more positive outlook, I have a lot more energy, etc. but who knows how much of that is due to the colon cleanse? I would say go ahead and give the colon cleanse a try and see if gets rid of that stomach roll thing. I have heard that oftentimes people's intestines are full of impacted cr.ap and this can cause the stomach to poke out, so give it a try. I mean, it's always good to clean yourself out anyway, so you might as well do it. I ordered ACOG colon cleanse capsules, and I think it cost me about 30 bucks. The first two weeks I had a few emergencies, shall we say, but it was still manageable. And for at least the last two weeks, no emergencies at all, everything's just been real gentle and normal, so that's good. On another note, ladies and gentlemen, the scale this morning said I weighed 147.6 pounds with a body fat percentage of 31.3% meaning that I am carrying around 46.2 pounds of fat. This is my lowest weight and fat weight since starting my new program, and I am VERY happy. That is 9 pounds lost in about 5 weeks, and 3.8 of that was fat (the rest probably water). And you can't lose fat without losing water because water is in all of our tissues. So, I am very, very, very pleased. And this program is definitely sustainable and not only does it make me improve my body but I have felt my whole outlook and attitude improve as well. !!! |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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9 lbs in 5 weeks is awesome. Congrats on your weight loss!! You are doing so well keep it up. Have you decided on what you think is going to be your final goal (as far as weight, clothing size, etc) |
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Straylight New Member
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I want to say somewhere between 120 - 135 and a size somewhere between 5 and 7, probably. |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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What brand of clothes do you wear? All my clothing sizes are in the even numbers. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Oh you can easily do that! 9lbs already, the rest should be a piece of cake... |
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Straylight New Member
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The odd numbers are in the junior department. weird but true. I am not exactly sure what size I am now, I need to go shopping for some clothes because my clothes are looser and I am pretty sure I have dropped a size, but I can't be sure, and I might have even dropped more than a size, but I need to actually try some new clothes on to know. Maybe this Friday I can go... |
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Straylight New Member
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And must confess yesterday that I had a good day calorie-wise, but made a few not-so-smart choices and ended up spending about 30 minutes hurling in the bathroom at my friend's house (how attractive!) As you may recall, on Friday I overate--I still had a calorie deficit but I ate some pita bread and 2 fun-size Snickers bars which I was not proud to have eaten, so on Saturday I wanted to have a lower calorie day. And I did a pretty good job of having a lower-calorie day. I basically had three small bowls of almonds and raisins spaced about 2 hours apart, which gave me a calorie count of about 600ish before I went to my friend's house to relax and have a little party. I ended up NOT going to my friend's Halloween party in Orange County because the weather was looking nasty and I prefer not to drive in the rain unless it's some sort of emergency or I HAVE to drive for work or something. But my friend Jared (who threw the No on Prop 8 party a few weeks ago) was having some folks over for a get-together and he lives right down the street from me, so I went there. So, there I am, I show up at his house at about 5 or so, and I pour myself some vodka. My big mistake was using a wine glass for the vodka and estimating what I thought an ounce was. I am not good at knowing what an ounce is in a wine glass, and with a high-proof alcohol like vodka, a little goes a long way, it's not like wine or beer or something. So I poured what I thought was an ounce, drank it, and poured what I thought looked like another ounce probably about 20 minutes later. Got really very buzzed and was feeling pretty good, giggly and silly and in a good place, but then I decided to go on the porch and smoke a cigarette. I usually only smoke hand-rolled cigarettes because the paper is not treated and the tobacco isn't treated and it's usually pretty high-quality. But this time I just smoked a regular factory-rolled cigarette AND I wasn't keeping hydrated, and so probably about ten minutes after I smoked that stupid cigarette, the room started spinning and I felt really nauseated and I ran into the bathroom where I proceeded to throw up off and on for about 5 minutes and then for the next half-hour I altnernating between lying on the couch feeling miserable and then running to the bathroom to upchuck. GREAT! I was thinking god I feel like a stupid kid or something I haven't thrown up from drinking in YEARS because I know how to manage it. But obviously not always! Because here we are... But after I puked a lot, my friend gave me some very healthy food to eat that he had made (no white carbs, all veggies), and I ate it and drank a bunch of water and felt better, but I felt really stupid. Jared then told me, yeah you drank a lot, that was probably 4 ounces you drank in the space of an hour (which is like 4 drinks!) I was thinking I had drank half that, so no more drinking vodka out of a wine glass, use a shot glass (duh) and if I absolutely have to smoke a cigarette, nothing factory-rolled, that was a miserable 30 minutes of my life, and embarrassing too! Luckily all my friends over there are party animals and throwing up from drinking is not an uncommon occurrence in that house, but still... |
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zenobia Moderator
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man, that is the WORST! i feel your pain all too well. haven't hurled due to alcohol in a while, but yeah, it's happened in to not entirely too distant past. and yes, smokes will get ya if you're not used to them. ugh. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Well, I don't even know what to say after that. Ok, sure I do, I know that hard liquor is to be avoided at all times, wine (for me is a bad thing). So, if I stick to beer, I am ok. I do have a tendency to tap into the peppermint shoppes at times. And usually, it ends up bad. So, I guess you learned the hard way,,,,and hopefully won't do that again. And maybe sometime, when it's not so late, I will tell you about the time me and a friend did shots of that bad stuff (vodka). and live to tell about it....lol |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh my #%@&!, I just typed a whole bunch and lost it! Forget it, I am not typing all that again. Let me do a nutshell version: Ate a LOT yesterday, way more than I should have, even on a free day. I consider myself severely self-chastised. I am going on a little walk this morning and doing some ab stuff because after 2 cr.aps this morning I STILL feel full and overloaded from everything I shoved in my face yesterday. I am going to see the actual distance it is walking around the black. I will report back when I come back. Saw my ninja consort last night. Very fun. He looks like a senior in high school and even though he is my pudgiest consort, he pulls it off somehow. Some guys (and girls) just do that. He's one of them. I think the babyface helps. Had a really good conversationw with my coworker C yesterday. I am developing more of a friendly relationship with her outside of work, and I like it. Even though she is a total Godwad (fundamentalist Christian), she is probably the most intelligent ones that I know and we share a lot of the same views otherwise, especially when it comes to social protocol and a sense of social justice, which is super important to me. So that's nice to be able to appreciate someone like that because usually the Godwads just drive me nuts. Also had an interesting conversation with my friend CL yesterday (that's the one who has been in love with me for the past 13 years), and he made some more comments about my body like how I was always going to have unattractive things about my body (and then he got specific about the areas of my body he knows I am sensitive about) and then said some stuff is just genetic, so I shouldn't try to really improve my body, so I said: I think you want to believe that because the thought of me looking even more gorgeous than I look now drives you nuts because you won't even get a whiff of it anyway, so you say stuff to put me down but when you say it, it really makes me think of you as being pathetic in that moment, so how about you stop with those comments. and then he got quiet and admitted that I was right (which was big of him, I 'll have to say) and apologized for saying those things. So that was cool. Anyway, the scale was way up today, saying I put on 4 pounds of fat in one day but this is to be expected considering the ridiculous amount I ate. So, I will let you know what the mileage is on my walk as soon as I get back! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, around the block is .47 miles. I actually did run the last little bit of it because I felt like running. And I did some ab stuff, so now I am ready for a shower. And some more water! Whew! AND, good news on the exercise front, I can now do 2 real push-ups. That's right, real ones! Before I couldn't do any, I had to do all girl ones, so I am proud of that. I'd like to build up my strength more and do more and more real push-ups, but I am real proud of the 2. Also, today I get to go meet the new young woman and her baby that we placed at one of my homes on Thursday, so that should be nice, get to hear her story and she what her goals are for herself. (She is 18, and her baby is 2). She got pregnant by her step-father (!) who is now in prison for that (which he should be!) And her mom just kicked her and her baby out of the house last Thursday. The young woman approached social services for help, and they decided to open a child protective services case on her even though she is a legal adult. I guess they were just being nice, maybe due to the fact that she hasn't finished high school yet? I don't know, but either way they gave her a break. They will probably have a detention hearing tomorrow, so I have to tell the foster mom to be ready to take her to that, the judge will decide the plan is for her. He/She might decide to close the case though, because she IS a legal adult, and of course the County is paying big bucks per month (around 1500) for her to be in a foster home. So we'll see what happens there. Also, I sent my boss an email asking her if i could re-do my schedule and NOT have so many home visits stacked on Thursdays because my end-of-the-day foster parents don't like me getting there so late, as it cuts into their dinner and family time. I also stated in the email that I didn't feel like I was providing optimal services to the child or the foster family because I was arriving there drained, having already worked 10 hours as it is. We shall see how she responds. I told her I couldn't see any way around it besides making that visit on another day, which would require the company to pay me more mileage, but I told her I was open to other suggestions. We'll see what she says. I know our company is having hard financial times and they are trying to cut corners, but I think it sucks to cut corners on the direct service to clients. And I owe it to my clients to ask for the best for them. I guess the worst she can say is no, I have to keep stacking the visits on Thursdays to save money, but at least I will have tried! And maybe I can think of some other brilliant solution or even go up the chain of command if I have to. We'll see what happens. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I think it's great that you stuck up for yourself with the friend. I also think it's great that he apologized for his words....GOOD FOR YOU! |
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Straylight New Member
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Oh yes! What a great day! I met my new client and her son, and she was very open and amiable with me. That was nice. And my boss said that I could go out and see my other client on another day so that I didn't have to stack all my visits--this is great! Haha, so they will just have to pay my mileage, the douchebags! AND--and this is really cool--I got a ticket a few months back and I was fighting it and I got notice in the mail today that I won. So I am getting my money back and I have been found not guilty! YAY!!!! And I did it all through the mail, all I paid was postage, and I didn't have to go to court! I am also in the middle of fighting a parking ticket, so I bet you I will win that one too! I am so happy! I feel great! And today I have eaten the following: -organic baby carrots -whole milk -pumpkin seeds -cottage cheese with honey -raisins -dark chocolate almonds total calories in: about 1350. Hooray! What a great day this was today! And it's not even over yet! I am going to study a bit more for my LCSW exam and then vedge out, watch TV, talk to my consorts, and probably turn in early, I always get tired around the time change... |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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I was just laughing at your colon cleanse "emergencies"! Last week I got brave and bought some dried apricots and Kashi cereal......so much fiber that I don't need the colon cleanse! Let's just say that I feel really really empty every morning. |
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Straylight New Member
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haha, yeah! It's good to feel cleaned out, just sometimes you aren't prepared for it! Like when you are on the freeway, that's always a nice time to have to deal with it! Let me reiterate though, ladies and gentlemen, FIGHT YOUR TICKETS!!!! It is very easy. You can do it through the mail at no cost to you except the cost of the postage. Cops give out so many BS tickets, its unbelievable, and that's their racket and probably in many cases, their power trip and way to get off on being a jerk. I fought and I won! I didn't submit any photos or any evidence or anything besides a written statement just saying something like "Under penalty of perjury, I state that the foregoing is true and correct; I am not guilty, and I stand by my plea of not guilty." And I WON! (The stupid ticket was for following too closely, which I was totally NOT doing in the first place that cop was just a major a-hole). The reason it usually works is because once you say you are not guilty, you become a defendant and the burden of proof goes to the cop who is trying to lay the charges on you. So HE (or she, but usually he) then has to write this big long report about it, and that will be in addition to their usual duties, so most of them don't want to take the time to do it. So, the defendant is always more likely to win because the cop doesn't want to make any more work for himself/herself. AND I am getting my money back that I paid for the ticket in the mail in the next 60 days, that's 159 bucks. So please, do yourself and the world a favor, fight your tickets. Even if you don't win in the mail, you can request a court appearance, and of course the cop has to show up to THAT or else you win. AND furthermore, you DON'T have to go to the courthouse in the town where you got the ticket, you can select a courthouse close to your residence or place of work. Most people don't know that, but it's true! And think about it, especially if you got the ticket sorta far away, no cop is going to want to travel all that way! SO :P It was almost too easy. I want to frame that declaration of not guilty. WOW!!!! Anyway, yikes! colon clenase emergency, hold on! hahah, got excited writing that then had to take a cr.ap. That is hilarious to me!!!! LOL!!!! I told my friend E. I figured out why I always cr.apped so much when he was around, and I said it was because he made me really happy and I explained how my bowels worked. He really liked it, and he said, that is one of the best compliments, I've ever gotten, truly. And then every time I had to go to the bathroom, he got this little self-satisfied look on his face. Okay, so my weigh-in this morning (a full 24 hours after my big, fat 5K foodfest, was a total weight of 152.6 (one pound drop since yesterday), with a body fat percentage of 32.5% (.4% drop since yesterday), with a fat weight of 49.6 (a pound drop since yesterday). Not too shabby! I am going to make an egg with cheese for myself before my run this morning. |
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wolfmonk New Member
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I'm curious - do you like Rage Against the Machine? |
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desperategirl New Member
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hiya, I got so rat-a.rsed on vodka once when i was 15, that i cannot LOOK at the stuff without heaving. so suffice to say, i feel your pain. CONGRATULATIONS on the ticket! yay! down with #%@&! ticket wardens! up with winning. haha. so...it sounds like everything's going well for you and you're kicking a fair bit of a.ss at the moment. nice! DG |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I bet you'd be smaller than a size 5 at 120-135 lbs. I'm in the lower 140's now and I'm a 6. You'd probably be a 2-4... tiny! I threw up this weekend too! That's only the 3rd time in my life from drinking! Well, I think it was probably all the junk food and junk drinks. I was buzzed, not drunk, but my friends mom was making me these drinks with malabu, pineapple juice, and blue carracao, and I ate a bunch of cheeze-its and popcorn. Ewe, I hate that feeling! Have you noticed now that you've been eatting healthier that you're a lot more sensitive to junk? I definitely have. You'll probaby work your way up to more push-ups really quickly. If you do them just once everyday you'll see major improvements! I started doing push-ups again (used to have a ton of upper body strength... like 50 push-ups at a time ) and I could only do 10 before dropping. Then the next day I was able to do 15.. then 22 the next! I also like to do this exercise with a 5 lb medicine ball that works the same muscles. I lay on my back and a friend stands over me and drops a the ball, I catch it, bring it to my chest, then throw it up as high as I can, she guides it back into my hands (trying not to slow it), and I do it agian. I started out only doing 50, then the very next time I did 100! Congrats on your continued losses too! You're so consistent! |
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Straylight New Member
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Wolfmonk: yes, I do like Rage Against the Machine. I like their politics more than their music really, but their music is good too, just not always my cup of tea. I have a lot of respect for them though and really jive with their beliefs and what they stand for. Sara: well, i am glad I am not the only one who barfed this weekend! sheesh! Yeah, I did 3 push-ups today, so that was cool. I will try again tomorrow and hopefully be able to do 4. and OMG!!!!!!!!!! OBAMA HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! I am actually crying tears of joy. Amazingly enough, I don't have to take a cr.ap, but still, take my word for it, I am so happy!!!!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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now we just need no on that disgusting homophobic hateful prop 8 |
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Straylight New Member
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the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I'm really happy too about Obama... but not surprised at all. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by college students all the time (mostly democrat) and live in Washington who are generally democrat too. I would have been so p*ssed if McCain had won! Even if I liked everything he had to say about the economy... I could never vote for someone so conservative! I'm waaaay too liberal for them. What's prop 8? Is it against gay marriage or something? Adoption? I actually voted republican for my state though. The last woman did a terrible job (a democrat) and was running again. The guy I voted for wasn't uber-conservative, and I figured as long as a democrat is president, we'll be fine with a republican governor, ya know? |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I am glad someone stayed up to find out about the election. I went to bed to early. lol YEAH! No more bush... |
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lastten New Member
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An interesting note that I read was that Arkansas banned single people and non-married couples (i.e. same sex and hetero) to foster kids or adopt. What is up with that! I was a single parent adoption and I turned out sorta OK |
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Straylight New Member
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yes, thank god no more bush. I am sick of the bushes!!!! Sara: i wouldn't say I would never vote republican either. I am not a democrat or a republic. I am probably more of an anarcho-socialist (or along those lines anyway) to tell you the truth, I just vote for whomever I think has the best stance on things, and McCain definitely was NOT it. But a Republican could have some very good views, just like anyone else. I DO think it's momentous that a Black man has been elected president. It wasn't too long ago that Blacks weren't even considered human in this country (and then I think they were designated as 3/5 of a person, if I'm not mistaken), so that really is beautiful and a great testament toward the human spirit and progress, so I think that really IS great! The only thing I would be worried about is some total racist nutjob assassinating Obama. I could see that happening. I am sure he has thought about that too, as has his family, and the Secret Service and everyone else. But you have to do what you believe in, not act out of fear. I have a great feeling about the next 4 years, and I am so happy. Prop 8 is the ban on gay marriages, defininf marriage as solely between a man and a woman. Because everyone knows that it's gross and disgusting for two people to be in love if they are same gender (so stupid!!!!!) I dont know if it passed or not. I need to go check right now.... _______________________________ Okay, well it's still not decided, but bigotry and hatres IS currently in the lead. Very disappointing!!!! Oh well, if it passes, I will just have to see what we need to do to get another amendement to repeal it, like they did with Prohibition. Or maybe it will still be defeated. I really hope so. I think it's a real shame that anyone would not be allowed to get married based on anything like skin color, sexual orientation, religious background, etc. It's a real, real shame that people would want to do that to another person, deny them that happiness. It's not like they're asking to be able to sodomize 8-year-olds, they JUST WANT TO GET MARRIED!!! SHEESH!!!! ______________________________ anyway, the scale had a funky read this morning, could be because the bleeding time is coming within the next week or so. Great! Seems like it was JUST HERE. Total weight 152.2 (down .4 pounds from yesterday), but body fat percentage was 33%!!! (up .07 percent since yesterday!) making fat weight 50.23 (up .63 from yesterday!) It has to be period-related, because I had a deficit yesterday for sure. Oh well, now I just have to deal with funky numbers on the scale until the blood comes. GRRRRR!!!! Last edited on 5 November 2008 03:22 pm by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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Hmmmmm: I am feeling a strong, strong urge to play hooky from work today. Wonder if I should call in or what? I am not sure what I would DO if I did play hooky from work, but I would definitely have more fun than being AT work. This time change makes me lazy. I wonder, wonder, wonder what i should do? hmmmmmmmmmmmm tempting! I have some movies I want to watch and some wine i want to drink and a blue-eyed jew consort I want to see! Oh man! It's almost decided! I will let you know what I decide to do! |
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Straylight New Member
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all right I did it! I called in and took the day off!! Feels good! But here is my deal with myself, since I am giving myself this little gift of time off work: -I need to go running, do some push-ups, and some ab stuff. I DID exercise yesterday, and I usually give myself a day between workouts, but not today. -I need to keep the calories in the triple digits, 999 calories or less today. Ideally, I would like to shoot for around 800 calories. I know that's low, but I have had some pretty high-calorie days lately, including the amazing 5K day on Sunday (jesus!) -I need to study for at least 90 minutes for my LCSW exam. I will probably break that up into 3 30-minute segments at various times during the day. So, if I do those things today, I will feel like I definitely used my time off work very well. |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay! I went for a run and I did some ab stuff. Hooray! I am now running probably about 75% of the way around the block. Oh man, I can't wait until I can go one whole time around the block. That will be so great for me. I have never, ever been a runner EVER, even in high school and junior high I sucked at it, and never really tried. But it feels great to make a little progress every time I go out. I bet in two more sessions, I will be able to make it all the way around the block. Man, that will be sweet! The food looks like it might be mighty challenging today. I already had some pumpkin seeds (240 calories, god they are so GOOD!) and now I have made myself a bowl of peanut butter with honey (320 calories) I had just a few spoonfuls and am not feeling SO hungry now so I should probably put it in the fridge out of sight! I am going to do that right now! Ahhh, good! Now it's not in my field of vision anymore. Perfect! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, cool! I did my morning meditation (17 minutes) and then I studied for the LCSW exam for 15 minutes, so only 75 more minutes of studying to go! And 15-minute chunks are great because they say most humans lost focus after 20 minutes, so 15 minutes is great. I also seem to be peeing an awful lot, which is sort of fascinating. I think I will track it and see how much I am actually going. I just went at like 9:55am. So let's see how often it happens. And I wonder why this might be happening so much. I can't be ovulating, I don't think, it's too late in my cycle for that, I am already on day 20. I did have green tea, but I always have green tea. I went for the longest run I have ever been on, but why would that be diuretic? Hmmm.... don't know... |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I think it's great that you go out running. I want to go to the track running sometime, but I am paranoid. Theres this guy in town that runs all the time, I don't want him to see me running, lol, I know it's stupid. Maybe your peeing has something to do with your cleanse thing. I pee allot, but I drink allot also, I swear sometimes it's like every five minutes. Last edited on 5 November 2008 06:08 pm by cportwine |
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Straylight New Member
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well, I just went pee again at like 10:11, so that's 16 minutes in between times. How come you don't want the guy to see you running? What do you think will happen, or what do you think he will think/do? Thanks, yeah I really like running! Maybe someday I will do a marathon, but I'm not there yet if I can't even make it around the stinking block, which is .47 miles! But I'm getting there! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I don't know, he is cute, so probably, talk to me and I will do or say something stupid. Or yeah, or I will trip..... why do cute guys intimidate me. lol, told ya....stupid.. Seriously, my husband has this friend that is really cute, and I swear I stutter every time I talk to him. lol |
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Straylight New Member
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haha, that's funny! I guess we never really outgrow that schoolgirlishness around a "cute guy." Well, I have had a pretty productive day off even though I still had to end up working about 2 hours on stuff that came up and people calling me at home with the sorry to bother you when you are sick, but... and when it comes to things with my kids, I just usually deal with it, but it's still sorta annoying. If I wanted to not deal with it though, I could have ignored the phone, so... can't really complain. I could have even turned the phone off (but I wasn't really sick, just playing hooky, if I was really sick, I wouldn't have picked up, although it's been a while since I have actually been sick, thankfully!) I DID go out running and that was great (I think I already said that). AND I did some abs AND push-ups (I can now do 4 regular push-ups, yay!!!!) As for staying under 1000 calories, that didn't happen. I will probably wind up at about 1500 for the day, but there was all good food in there, I stayed away from the full box of Godiva chocolates in the fridge, so THAT is good. And I ate some grapefruit, which I was really happy about, as I have heard that is a negative calorie food. The fruit was from my friend's tree, so it was REALLY REALLY good. I think I am a big grapefruit fan now. Funny, I didn't think I would really like it, because you think of grapefruit as a "diet food," you know, something you eat because you HAVE to, but these were really good!!!! And grapefruit has an interesting kick, it's got some bite to it, which I like! I have studied for 30 minutes so far. Don't know if I will make the goal of studying for 90 minutes, but 30 minutes is definitely better than no minutes! I will try to hit 90 minutes though. We'll see. Right now I am going over all the specific psychological disorders, which is actually pretty interesting. The website was down for an hour or two, I thought I was going to start getting the DTs! I am so addicted to this site! And it really helps to keep me in line! The blue-eyed Jew consort is on his way over here. (his class lets out at about 3:30pm), and I still need to take a shower and try to study a little bit more... |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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LOL, dts.... me to, me to |
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Straylight New Member
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YES! I studied for another 15 minutes, meaning I have studied for 45 minutes so far today! YAY!!!! now, to shower! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Even if I did think gay people were gross, I would never think gay marriage should be band... the arguments for banning it are just a religious perspective- and isn't our country built on the idea that we should be allowed to practice (practive, not just believe) any religion we want? What ever happened to the church and state being kept seperate? Anyway, I'm going to stop talking about it because it only upsets me how close-minded people can be. The good thing is that my generation is mostly for gay marriage, so one day it will be the norm |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member 
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Hey Straylight, thanks for coming by and your comments in my journal. I have to admit I've peeked at yours but am by no means up to speed. Hope to catch up to you to some time soon though. And I am quite happy about Obama too. Now - he needs to do what we believe he is capable of...being a great leader and getting the country on a better path. No small task but I truly believe he has given us hope. |
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Straylight New Member
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hey molly, good to see you in my diary. Lol, I feel like I know you so well because I have followed your life for what, like the past year almost. Anyway, I ended up studying 65 minutes today, which wasn't 90 minutes, but it was definitely good still. The Blue-eyed Jew helped quiz me too, which was really nice of him. what a sweetheart! I definitely went way up on my calories today, nowhere near the triple digits, but at least I still have a little 130 deficit (not a big one, but a deficit nevertheless) here is what I had -3/4 avocado -1/2 banana -peanut butter with honey -pumpkin seeds -2 Godiva chocolates (yes, I got into them! RATS! They were only about 140 calories all told, but they have "natural flavoring" in them, which translates into funky chemical stuff and I ate it. doh!) -grapefruit -a few raw almonds Altogether, I ate about 1800 calories, and I have burned around 1950, so that is a small calorie deficit. I did do some yoga for a little bit with the Blue-eyed Jew, and that felt good. I also did a fair bit of walking today around my apartment for about 30 minutes while I was on the phone, so that burned a good amount of calories and it's not weather-dependent, so that's cool. So, I met a lot of my goals, but not all of them: 1) Studied for 65 minutes 2) Kept a calorie deficit 3) Had a great run, did yoga, walking, and some good calisthenics 4) I also did my meditation, which felt great So, all in all, it was a good day off from work, I felt like I used it well and can be proud of myself. I really hope the scale rewards me tomorrow. My stomach is feeling growly right now, and I usually sleep well when I go to bed with a growly stomach, so that's cool. I absolutely cannot afford to eat anything else tonight. I ate the few almonds pretty late in the day in order to give my metabolism some boost (it was only 3 almonds) through the evening. I was reading in Zenobia's diary about how she was "bookending" her day with protein. i.e. she ate protein in the morning--no carbs and then ate protein last thing in the evening--no carbs. She got pretty good results from that, something around 2 pounds per week, so I think I am going to try that too. |
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Straylight New Member
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oh, what a glorious evening! I hopped on the scale just now just to see how much damage I had done with such a high-calorie day, and I actually weighed LESS now at the end of they day than when I started, by over a pound even! And my body fat percentage was down too, so I am SURE the scale will say something great tomorrow after I've had even MORE time to burn off stuff between now and then. All right! So glad I did that! It was great! AND I am probably also retaining water and my uterus is getting pretty full. The blood could be coming in as little as 3 days... we shall see. Definitely in the PMS time. Mood is still okay, the sadness and crabbiness usually comes around Day 24ish.... and today is just day 20. |
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wolfmonk New Member
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I thought you might like Rage - their politics anyway if not their music. I like both. I like lifting to them. I used to work at an Arena and saw them in concert - very good. Good going on the loss! |
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zenobia Moderator
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Straylight wrote: oh, what a glorious evening! I hopped on the scale just now just to see how much damage I had done with such a high-calorie day, and I actually weighed LESS now at the end of they day than when I started, by over a pound even!i am remembering a specific day when my sister came to visit me- i was working towards my goal of 120.. well, my silster was like 10 at the time (she's now 12), but that day, i drank a bit of beer, ate like half of the bagged frozen chicken nuggets (after heating them, of course), chewy chips ahoy cookies (yeah, more than a serving or two by far), wine, oven fries and tater tots (i love tots!)... went bowling and played board games. a day leter i was down like 2 lbs. i think that's when i broke the 130s and hit 128 or something. i still can't get over how sh!t like that works. and man, i hate that emotional #%@&! that comes with it- i just walk out of the bedroom and basically say "world, i am completely irrational today so f&*k off" then proceed to dope myself up on ibuprofen, sugar free monster drinks, and hot chai with stevia all day, then cry at any old sappy #%@&! that might wander into my periphreal thought. god, being a chick is definately interesting. |
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Straylight New Member
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Wolfmonk: Thanks! i bet they energy when they play live is amazing. Zen: It's GREAT when it works like that, isn't it? You know it is! So, the scale this morning said 150.2 (a 2 pound drop since yesterday) with a body fat percentage of 32.8% (a .03% drop since yesterday), leaving a fat weight of 49.27 pounds (1.11 pound drop since yesterday). This was much, much better than anticipated. So, yay! I will take my meausrements as soon as the bleeding is over for the month. I forgot to take them the last time the bleeding was over, but I will remember this time. I don't get usually in a horrible mood prior to the blood coming (I used to, but not so much anymore), I just notice that I will think more negative thoughts, and I just have to get rid of more of them than usual, but it doesn't usually go into tears or anger anymore, more just like the guards at the gate have to be more vigilany about bad thoughts that try to gain entry. WOO HOO!!! And my stock has gone up like 43 dollars in the last two days! That is great! And I get paid tonight at midnight. When I wake up tomorrow, I will have money money money. Hooray! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Congrats on the pounds, that is great. Your coming right along. My periods I don't usually keep track of them, so I don't know that I was doing the freaking pms thing until it's over, lol. I am kind of glad, otherwise I would probably be worse knowing it, you know what I mean.. |
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Straylight New Member
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Yes, because then you might use it as license to mistreat other people and over-react. I used to get it REALLY bad and get really depressed and even have a bunch of suicidal ideation (just thoughts, no actual intent or plan) every month. It was BAD! I actually went to a doctor who prescribed marijuana for it and that helped a little bit, but I had to smoke so much of it in order to not feel depressed and suicidal that it wasn't even worth it, i don't like to be THAT super-high because you're basically so high that you can't think anything, and i thought well #%@&! ANY drug could treat it then as long as i do enough of it, I mean I could be piss-drunk or whatever. So, I stopped doing that to treat it and I just got really heavily into meditation, visualization, speaking gratitude, etc. and it also has helped a lot since I have been eating healthy and exercising regularly. I am not going to say that it's totally gone because like I said, I DO notice that I tend to think more negative thoughts a few days before the blood comes, but I have gotten pretty good at stopping them before they take root. I am very pleased! Today, incidentally, I feel AMAZING! I feel so good, it's euphoric, I feel like I might pop. I have no idea what this is from, but it's great! I think in a much earlier post, I said that when I feel really really good like this, it reminds of being on Ecstacy and Vicodin, but only with the good parts there, none of the bad effects, it's great. So whatever, neurotransmitter or combination of neurotransmitters are being released right now, I gotta tell you, if I could extract it and sell it, I'd be one rich b.itch! |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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Straylight wrote: Today, incidentally, I feel AMAZING! I feel so good, it's euphoric, I feel like I might pop. I have no idea what this is from, but it's great! It's the pounds lost and money gained! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Maybe it's in the stars or moon or whatever, cause I am in another good mood today. God, this is great for my diet frame of mind..... Last edited on 6 November 2008 05:02 pm by cportwine |
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Straylight New Member
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dani, you know you could be right. I mean, it sure feels darn good seeing your body get slimmer while your bank account get fatter!!!! and I got home at a decent hour for once and oh #%@&!! I need to take the garbage out! |
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Straylight New Member
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okay did it! Last week i forgot to put it at the curb and I was like oh man, hope i can make it through another week and i DID but if I had forgotten this week, it would have been bad news! I had a pretty good day food-wise. I did go ahead and enjoy some rice and macaroni salad, which are white carbs, but I really wanted some so I figured it was okay to go ahead as long as I watched the rest of my calories and made sure not to eat any carby stuff later in the evening. And I have a pretty good deficit. So that's great! This is what I ate today: -egg fried in butter -2 spoonfuls of peanut butter -baby carrots -meal from Ono Hawaiian Barbecue: BBQ chicken, rice, cabbage, and macaroni salad. MMM MMM!!! This was SO TASTY and kept me full for a long time. Boy, was it good! -1/4 a banana Altogether, probably about 1400 calories. And I started and ended the day with protein: an egg in the morning and 5 almonds and 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter in the evening. So hopefully the scale will be cool to me tomorrow, although I guess that I might be retaining a lot of water due to salt in that Ono meal. We'll see! Last edited on 7 November 2008 05:34 am by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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as far as other stuff that happened today: work was actually manageable, since they allowed me to move my one really-late visit to another day. That was so nice to get home at 7:30 instead of 9:30. It really makes a big difference! I was also very happy today because one of my boys (well, young men, really, he's almost 16) has been having REALLY bad nightmares and lots of fear around bedtime. His father was a maniac and came after him with a knife and late at night, he will get scared that his father will somehow find him and kill him and then he gets himself all worked up. But anyway, he said that for the past week, he hasn't had any nightmares or problems falling asleep or getting scared at night, and that makes me really happy. I think he is finally starting to feel safe. I feel bad for the poor bastard that he had to live with a lunatic for so long, and his father was truly a lunatic and an angry one at that. Also, I got to take a nice walk in the absolutely gorgeous warm weather in the afternoon with my friend. And that was nice. She has taken another position at another company but she hasn't told anyone at work yet. Too bad, she was a great addition to our company, but my work pulled so much #%@&! and devalues its employees so much, she just couldn't take it anymore. And they really need her, she is a supervisor. They might ask me to do it but I think I will say no way. I did not like being a supervisor before, it sucked! I would much rather just have my work be with the kids and foster families. :) I also have another date with the Blue-Eyed Jew consort set up for tomorrow night, so that is cool to get to see him again. I plan to drink a lot of wine, so I need to set aside plenty of calories for that, maybe around 400 or so just to be on the safe side! I also got another date set up with my ninja consort on Saturday. We are going to go to this breaks event, but I have to leave sort of early because I have to work on Sunday (blech) but then he is also supposed to come over and watch the simpsons with me on sunday, so that's cool! !!!! My friend JP and my gay consort are involved in the march in downtown LA yesterday asking for gay civil rights. I am proud of them! I didn't know there was a march until I turned on the radio and heard and then I got texts from the boys saying they were down there. I hope there is another one, because I want to to march too! I may not be gay, but I think they deserve they same rights as everyone else, just like I would have marched in Selma back in the day if I'd been around even though I'm not black. As Big Worm would say it's the prinicple of the thing! there's principalities at stake playing with my money is like playing with my emotions! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, GREAT! Even with that big honking meal from Ono yesterday, I still lost weight! When I got on the scale this morning, I saw that I weighed 149.8 pounds total (a .4 drop since yesterday) with a body fat percentage of 32. (a .7% drop since yesterday), making a total fat weight of 47.94 (a 1.33 pound drop since yesterday)! So, my goals for today are -Stay away from white carbs, because i just enjoyed some yesterday, and I don't need anymore until Sunday -try to keep up at least a 500 calorie deficit -go for a run and do some strength training stuff -study for an hour for my LCSW exam I am SO HAPPY that I was able to have that meal and still lose weight, that is awesome! PLUS I am on day 22 of my cycle, which means that my uterus is full and I am sure I am retaining water, so my fat weight is probably actually lower than that, but I am still happy with the numbers I got! I got paid today too! So I am off to pay myself and others. Woo hoo! And the blue-eyed jew consort is coming over this evening and i only have to work 5 hours today. whoooppee! Last edited on 7 November 2008 02:39 pm by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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Woo hoo! I went for my run! I can ALMOST make it around the block--I did have to walk for about 10 breaths, but then I started running again. I made it around the block in 6 minutes! I can't wait to try and improve my time tomorrow. It feels great! And then I did some mountain jumpers and those killer frog squats--thanks again for telling me about those, Dani! They are awesome! I am also really happy to see more definition in my arms and back. I feel fantastic! So glad it's Friday, too! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Yeah! isn't it a great feeling when you start to see some muscle. My arms have come a long way since I have been doing the richard tapes..... I even catch myself checking them out when I got short sleeve on. |
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lastten New Member
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6 min for nearly .5 mile is a pretty good pace! Keep it up |
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Straylight New Member
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lol, my top advisor consort always pokes fun when he sees my checking myself out in the windows as i walk by he'll be like checking to make sure you're still there, or what? well, i weighed myself this morning, and I am majorly happy to report that I have the least amount of fat on my body than I have ever had now since I started this program. The scale said I weighed 147.6 total weight this morning (a 2.2 pound drop since yesterday) with a body fat percentage of 31.1% (.9% drop yesterday), giving me a total fat weight of 45.90, which is a drop of 2.03 pounds since yesterday AND the lowest I have been in since God knows how long! So, woo hoo!!!! And attention attention, if you get grossed out by sex stuff, do not read the next part, but there IS useful information for those of you who like things that are weird and out there and sort of dirty: You know I have talked about book-ending the days with protein (got that from Zenobia) and it appears to be working very well, there seems to be some physiological magic in it. So, I am going to keep it up. So yesterday, I started out my day with an egg fried in butter (that was two days in a row with eggs, so I think I am supposed to take 2 days off, or I don't know they are always changing their mind about eggs) but ANYWAY I was planning on capping the day with some almonds before bed. BUT got into some fun sexytime with my consort and ended up having some other protein before bed if you know what i mean and I think you do! and I thought oh yes! That is great, because THAT protein is free and it's basically nothing but protein and it's only four calories (and yes I have researched it) as opposed to the almonds or anything else really that would have been my nightcap protein. So for those of you who have a man around to enjoy sexytime with, you could just start and end your day with THEIR protein and it would be fun and cost nothing. !!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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Yesterday's food intake: -egg fried in butter -baby carrots -salmon sushi rolls with soy sauce, wasabi, and ginger -shredded carrots with cayenne pepper and lime juice -3 glasses of white wine -!!!! #%@&! !!! |
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lastten New Member
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Congrats on getting down to the lowest so far! I keep telling my hubby that I need more husbands but he doesn't understand...maybe I should tell him to read your diary lol. Love your ingenuity! |
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Straylight New Member
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you know there is a tribe in the mountains of tibet that is one of the only polyamorous tribes where the women have more than one husband (usually polyamory involves men having more than one wife). But anyway, in this tribe, they have to have population control and the tribe is matriarchal, so the women in the tribe marry a man and all of his brothers or similar-age male relatives. When a child is born to the woman, the bloodline is preserved (because the men are all related) and the child is considered the son of all of her husbands. So, I guess you could say my practices are tibetan in nature, lol. Not all of my consorts are related, but they generally tend to be the same type of man with the same types of values (although they are all different looking and different ethnicities...) Yesterday I messed up a bit and had 2 pieces of pizza (oh no! the evil white carbs!), so this morning my weight was up a bit, but I am not worried because I am still in the 140s and my body fat percentage is still in the acceptable category. I went to the big LA protest for marriage rights for gays, and that was really cool. There were a lot of people there, no violence and no arrests. There were a few anti-gay people there with great signs like GOD DOES NOT LOVE YOU HOW YOU ARE HOMO SEX IS A SIN and REPENT SINNERS! but there was no ugly confrontation between the two sides, which was good! (I also walked about 2.5 miles for the march, so that was good exercise! A few people laughed at my pedometer, but it was good-natured, and it probably was sort of funny...) I took a picture of a chick and her wife that were holding their framed marriage certificate--that they got before 11/04/08. It was very touching. The picture is sorta dark, but here it is.... Attached Image (viewed 211 times): Last edited on 9 November 2008 07:25 pm by Straylight |
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Straylight New Member
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Last ten: thank you for your compliment by the way. I am glad you think I have ingenuity!!! Also, I got to spend some really nice time with my blue-eyed jew consort yesterday. We went for a run in the morning and then did some calisthenics (I mean real calisthenics, not sexytime) together in the morning, and that was cool. And then we went for a delicious organic vegan lunch at Real Food Daily and sat outside and it was a BEAUTIFUL day outside. My consort also brilliantly found no-pay parking on Melrose. He is a genius at that kind of thing, he's got a real knack for it! My friend JP also got interviewed by somebody during the protest and he did a pretty good job speaking, although he got a little nervous and flustered being on camera, but he spoke from the heart and it was good. He is gay and while he doesn't currently have a partner, I know he eventually wants to be able to share a life with a nice man and have a nice life with him. (He is really good-looking AND a really good cook, so he would make a great husband for anybody! He's also a marathon runner, so you know he's got good stamina, lol!) |
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Straylight New Member
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oh YES! heard from my gay consort and i am going to see HIM tonight over at my friend's house because we are all going there to drink wine and watch the simpsons lol!!! sunday nights are always great for me. |
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Straylight New Member
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oh no! I messed up again big time yesterday by overstuffing myself on my "free day." How disgusting! I ate probably close to 5K calories again and ended up having a total stomachache, then having nightmares and waking up with my stomach still hurting! I was able to relieve some of the pain with a trip to the old bathroom, but I feel ashamed of myself, just like I felt a week ago! I wrote in my own personal journal about how I needed to improve in this area. I didn't even weigh myself this morning, because I did not even want to see the damage done. But now that I think about it, I need to weigh myself, so I can see the numbers and be more accountable to myself as well as be properly publicly humuliated in from of you guys! So, here we go.... Okay, the scale says 154.4 with a body fat percentage of 32.4. That is shameful! Especially when just on Saturday morning, I was weighing 147.6 with a body fat percentage of 31.1. Now I am sure I didn't ACTUALLY put on that much weight, but I definitely put on something, and that is not good! This is the second free day in a row that I have done this to myself! And I was also bad this week during the week, having two slices of pizza on Saturday (which is definitely not a free day!) So, in a nutshell, here is my ongoing plan from now on. It's pretty simple: 1) On my free days, I need to ENJOY my food, not wolf it down because I am so excited to have a free day! Food is supposed to enjoyed! I need to stop eating when I feel full--not STUFFED! And once I am full, I need to not eat again until I don't feel full anymore! This is simple, and I know I can do it. I just need to really do it! The first two free days I had when I started on this program, I did exactly this, so I know I can do it. 2) I need to be disciplined during the week. This means absolutely no cheating--no processed stuff, no white carbs. Again, I have done THIS very well, I just messed up these past few weeks, so I know I can do it again. Fortunately, I have been good about exercise, so this area does not need any improvement, thank God! Now, for today specifically, my goal is to have a low calorie day, hopefully somewhere around 1200. I need to spread my calories out, having a small meal every couple hours or so, not condensing calories at the end of the day, which is something that had been going on recently. I will book-end my day with protein as well. I have a lot of fruit in the house which is good, because I need to eat it before it goes rotten. So, I am planning on eating several pieces of fruit today as well as my carrots. So far, I haven't eaten anything because I have felt full. I woke up at about 7:30 am (which is also actually pretty late for me these days!) and so I should eat something by 9:30am. I am planning on having some nice almonds. I am happy that I was able to catch myself in these bad habits, and I am confident that I can turn everything around. I am grateful for this website that really does help keep me in line! So thank you everyone! I will have a great day! |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, I feel much better now! I have drank my green tea, done my meditation, and now I am eating a few roasted almonds. Thankfully, I only have to work for a few hours today, and I plan on getting some good LCSW studying before I for work (I have to go see C., my 15-year-old little blonde firecracker chica). Something nice that happened to me on Friday, I don't think I mentioned it--I have a new 18-year-old girl on my caseload, V., and she made me a really great dish when I visited her on Friday. She knows I don't eat white carbs, so she was excited to show me her little creation. She just took shredded carrots and then bombarded them with lime juice and cayenne pepper. Very spicy and crunch and good! It made me have major, major diarrhea later, but I didn't mind, I kinda like having diarrhea, I think it feels good, lol! But that is a great dish, super low calorie, probably no more than 50 calories at most. |
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Straylight New Member
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Phew! I just finished working on some notes and I was able to study some as well, which is great! I studied for 15 minutes and plan on studying for 15 more pretty soon here, and then I need to work on some more notes for work. I don't know if I will get all of them done in time to hand in today, but I have completed a lot of them. I will definitely be done tomorrow, which is good. I have also gotten in some decent walking by walking around the apartment when I am on the phone and when I am studying. I have drank a lot of water, which makes me happy, and it is already 11:00, and all I have eaten so far today is that handful of almonds (180 calories). I think I ate those around 9:30ish, so I'll probably have a piece of fruit or something now in about a half hour. It feels good to feel back on track. I just really want to meet all my goals today after having such a cr.appy day food-wise yesterday! I am burning some jasmine incense right now and it smells really good. I might make myself another cup of green tea as well just to keep my energy perked up. I think I will do a few mountain jumpers as well, get the blood flowing! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Only 4 calories? Doesn't that mean man protein is only 1 gram of protein? I heard it was like 100 calories in a tbsp... but that was just high school talk. I know what you mean about stuffing yourself! I'm waaay more liberal with my calories on the weekend. Friday and Sunday I probably broke even, but Saturday I'm guessing I had 3500-4000. When I weighed myself this morning it said 148, and just Friday morning it said 142! I hope it goes back down! |
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Straylight New Member
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it is around 4 calories, definitely nowhere near 100! I have been really good with food today, and I have been eaten a few nuts with every meal, as I heard that helps shed belly fat (read that somewhere else on here). We shall see what happens here. I plan on having a small bowl of cottage cheese before bed, which will make my food intake as follows -some almonds -Fearless Franks with melted cheddar cheese -an almond -some raw organic baby carroits -some more almonds -organic fuji apple -some more almonds -organic cottage cheese total calorie intake: 1265 This is the lowest calorie day I've had in a while, so I am really excited! My goal is to drop to no more than 147.00 pounds this week with a body fat percentage of no more than 31%. Hopefully I can make it happen! I also resisted having a three musketeers bar, as there was one at my work that was offered to me (yay!) I also walked a lot today and did some mountain jumpers (13). I am so happy I can do 13 of them now! My top advisor consort called so i have a hot-tub date with him for Friday night. That will be after I take part I of my LCSW exam, so I am sure I will be celebrating. !!!! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Oooo I loove hot tub parties! What are mountain jumpers? Are they like mountain climbers? |
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Straylight New Member
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http://theabsexpert.com/blog/5-exercises-for-sexy-abs/ Mountain jumpers are shown in the video--they are the third exercise in. Okay, wow, I was exhausted last night. I totally fell asleep right after my evening meditation at like 8:20pm! Yikes! Dratted time change! Oh well, I had a good sleep with interesting dreams... The scale this morning had much better news for me than it had yesterday--my low calorie day really paid off. The scale this morning said 151.4 total weight with a body fat percentage of 32%. I think I might try for another low calorie day today and will add the nuts to most every meal like I did yesterday, plus book-end with protein. |
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Straylight New Member
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Yay! I just studied for about 15 more minutes for my LCSW exam, and walked around the apartment while I did it! This is like perfect! I burned about 44 calories while improving my brain--awesome! I love it! I used to walk and read a lot about 1.5 years ago when I lost about 30 pounds (going from 169 - 139). It feels good to do it again, and it's so easy! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Lol, when I was big into reading, I would walk all over while I was doing it. My husband and kids use to make fun of me. Nothing funny about it when your lossing weight, because of it... |
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Straylight New Member
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woo hoo! I also just threw in some push-ups for good measure because i was feeling good about the study-walking, and I can now do 5!!!! I used to not be able to do even one! So I did 5 real push-ups and then did 12 girl push-ups. This is awesome! I have burned over 50 calories and I haven't even had my green tea yet! What a great morning! |
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honeyhazelb New Member
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Hey Stray, I just read your last post there and it really sounds like you have got an awesome new lifestyle with many positive changes! Your weight loss is also quite remarkable, reading all of this is starting to make me think I should make a list of positive changes that I would like to make for myself. Perhaps while I'm bored at work today I'll be able to come up with some and begin to incorporate them into my life as this would be a great time just coming out of a cold :) ~your doing awesome~keep it up~ HHB --I've read on some other boards in the past about [oil pulling] and [apple cider vinegar] don't remember exactly what they were for but maybe I'll look into them now-- The oil pulling I remember was quite interesting with claimed benefits of healthy gums, whiter teeth and something about removing toxins from your blood or system or something... (dont remember) anyway blah blah.. have a great day lol :) |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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oil pulling? is that like drinking oil out of the bottle? |
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Straylight New Member
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HHB: Thanks! I am glad you like my diary. I don't know if I'd call my weight loss "remarkable," (9 lbs in 6 weeks), but thanks!!!! It's definitely sustainable, that's what matters to me! Anyway, today I tried to have a serving of MUFAs with every meal, based on some stuff I read about the Flat Belly diet, thought I'd give it a whirl. I also kept up the book-ending with protein because that seemed to be working well. So, today I had -some almonds -green tea -mix of blueberries and almonds -1/2 portion of combination Thai fried rice and a few almonds -1/2 banana with some almonds -1 flaxseed chip with another almond -small slice of cheddar cheese with a few pumpkin seeds -another small slice of cheddar cheese with a few more pumpkin seeds (The MUFAs in my day you can probably guess, but it was the almonds and the pumpkin seeds). Total calories were probably about 1450, which is probably a mid-range calorie day for me. I think I have a deficit of about 500, so that makes me happy. |
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Straylight New Member
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thank you, thank you!!! oh YES!!!! I am very pleased to report that even WITH that Thai fried rice dish (that I stopped myself from eating beyond the point of pleasant fullness, thank you to whomever coined that phrase, I think it was Cindy but I am not sure) I LOST ANOTHER 1.8 POUNDS and my body fat percentage went down by .9%!!!!!!!!!! I really think the book-ending with protein and the MUFAs really work! I mean, I only had a 300 calorie deficit because I did eat another piece of cheddar cheese and a 1/2 teaspoon of peanut butter right before bed and I lost so much weight!!!! This is AWESOME! AND I am also ready to bleed any day now, seeing as it is Day 27 of my cycle, so I am sure I am also bloated and have a full uterus. This is fantastic! I can't tell you how happy this makes me! So, I would HIGHLY recommend eating the MUFAs with every meal and book-ending with protein. Who can argue with such great results! I mean.... WOW!!!! |
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Straylight New Member
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I mean that is over a 5-pound loss in just TWO DAYS! That is truly incredible! I mean, that is like TWEAKER weight loss right there! Or that is like like beginning-of-dieting weight loss right there! This is incredible! Wow! I am overflowing with happiness! And it is SUCH an easy thing to do. Just buy a bunch of nuts and have a FEW with every meal and book-end with your day with them. I don't eat many nuts, probably about 5 - 9 per meal. Amazing! |
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honeyhazelb New Member
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StuckSara wrote: oil pulling? is that like drinking oil out of the bottle? No if you google it you'll get more information, basically though you put I think like a tablespoon of sesame (i think was quoted as the best to use) oil in your mouth and you swish it around, pull it back and fourth between your teeth for 15-20 minutes. It says to do it on an empty stomach such as first thing in the morning. If you want more information I'd suggest googling it (they have an oil pulling website), I'm not a great source of information lol -- had just read it on some other board. |
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lastten New Member
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eek on the oil pulling...I put that right up there with chugging vinegar |
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Straylight New Member
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Okay, i got in some exercise. I ran for a minute, walked for a minute, then ran for another minute. So I need to make sure I add onto that. Then, I did 2 sets of frog squats, first set 13, second set 12. Then I did 13 fulcrums (for the abs) Pretty cool. My goal is to exercise a little bit every day, except maybe Sundays, just to give my body a rest. But I would rather exercise a little every day and condition and train myself than exercise more and then take days completely off... Yikes! I need to eat! I am going to go get some peanut butter. Woo hoo, maybe this will be one of those days where I have to remind myself to eat! I love those days! :) |
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WannabeLoser New Member
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Do you think that maybe you are over eating too much on some days because your body is just so hungry that you are trying to make up for it? Do you eat enough on your other days? I used to binge eat....often. I ate so much that i gained 30 lbs in like 4-6 months. I think sometimes it is because it is stress, sometimes it is because we deprive ourselves too much, and sometimes it really is because it just tastes too good. |
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zenobia Moderator
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i've just got to say that i absolutely love your positivity. i love how you get so excited over every little progress. that is just so freaking cool to me. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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SOLD! I'm gonna start eatting MUFAs all day and make sure to eat protein first and last. Do you know if it matters if I have a little bit of carbs with the protein at the beginning of the day??? |
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Straylight New Member
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Tamale: I don't think I pig out because I am not eating enough calories on other days, I think I pig out because I just have poor self-control sometimes when it comes to food and I choose to continue eating even after I am full because it tastes good, and I don't want to waste food or whatever. And like I said, I didn't do this when I first started the program, I had a much more controlled approach to my "free day," I ate until I was pleasantly full and really enjoyed my "naughty foods." But these past two Sundays, I have just gorged myself, because I wanted to many different naughty foods and then instead of just sampling them I ate entire portions of everything. I really don't think it has to do with too few calories though, I just think I get in a stupid mind-set sometimes on Sundays because it's my day to eat whatever I want and then I get this bottomless pit stomach. I am determined to do better this Sunday though--bound and determined! In other news, the scale brought yet ANOTHER nice surprise to me this morning, and it was really really REALLY a surprise since I know I am all bloated and stuff from retaining water because now it is Day 28 of my cycle and I am expecting the blood to come today (although I don't know, I had that funky spotting in the middle of the month so who knows when it's really going to happen!) But the scale said that I weighed 148.2 !!! That is another 1 pound drop since yesterday! OMG!!!! That is 6 pounds in three days! And every day I have eaten 1300 - 1700 calories. I mean, yesterday I ate a lot because my ninja consort came over and so of course I had wine and wine-related treats, lol. Yesterday, I had: -peanut butter (the morning protein bookend and MUFA) -green tea -blueberries and dark chocolate (86% SUPER BITTER WOW!) the dark chocolate was the MUFA -sushi, california type rolls, 8 pieces with wasabi and soy sauce (the sesame seeds on the sushi was the MUFA) -1/4 grapefruit and some more dark chocolate -2.5 glasses of shiraz with cheddar cheese and salami and cashews (the cashews were the MUFA) -some cashews (MUFA and protein book-end) Probably somewhere around 1700 calories for the day. And I can't believe it that I seriously lost a whole other pound since yesterday! And that's with the premenstrual bloat and everything!!!!!!!! That is 6 pounds in 2 days! I can hardly believe it! I am just like WOW!!! So great and amazing! And who would have ever guessed that it was from something so darn simple! AND with no starving or pills or anything. Again, that is like tweaker weight loss right there! Crazy! |
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wadoryu1 New Member
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Wow! You are all about the details. From now on if I have questions about a woman's menstrual cycle, I will browse through Straylight's Diary for in depth answers. |
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Straylight New Member
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well, the menstrual cycle REALLY affects the scale readings and that's no joke!!!! Some women even go up a whole stupid pants size around the premenstrual bloat time. It can really do a number on you! |
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Straylight New Member
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I have gotten a lot of studying and walking done today, which is great. And I've only eaten about 900 calories or so, and it's already 2:30pm, so I am feeling good about that. Just want to say that I wish my work would leave me in peace on my days off. I wish that on my days off, the infrastructure we put in place to handle things when somebody has the day off would be utilized and protocol would be adhered to. I wish I had the courage to ignore my phone when it rings on my day off. That would be my wish! My days off should belong to me only, otherwise I would not have taken the day off. Enough said! |
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trimB Distinguished Member
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Maybe you should include that pet peeve (only fixed the way you like it) in your positive visualizations... |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Hey! Where'd ya go? |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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StuckSara wrote: Hey! Where'd ya go? Yea, I was wondering that to.... |
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wolfmonk New Member
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Hey! It's quiet around here without you! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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It is kinda erie isn't it? ------Tumble weed-------- |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I bet she is off with one of her consorts.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Wow, guys, I really appreciate that you all missed me. That's gotta make a girl feel pretty good! And Cindy, you crack me up, off with one of my consorts--but you know what even when I am with one of them, i still usually come on here to keep up. Mainly this site has been having problems, and I had to create another screen name and everything, it kept telling me that I wasn't logged in and then when I did log in it didn't work and when I asked for a new password, no email got sent, so whatever. I just created a new name. So, Straylight is now known as Terabyte. Hopefully you can all get used to it. :) Anyway---my big announcement for today is that I have decided to quit smoking for at least a few months. I have always been a sort of social smoker, smoking when I am out and whatnot, but lately I have been buying my own cigarettes and have been smoking when I am NOT out and I have found myself wanting a cigarette in the morning and when I get home from work and stuff, and I really don't like that. It's a gross feeling. So, I threw out the cigarettes I had left (I usually buy a pouch of tobacco and roll my own) and emptied the ashtray and told my friend that I was stopping for at least 3 months. I don't mind being a social smoker and smoking, well socially, but when it comes into my house and I spend money on it regularly, I definitely don't like it. So, wish me luck on that one. I decided that this morning around 7am. I also don't want to be coughing up stuff like Patty and Selma--not cute!!!! Let's see, what else. Actually had a few naughty foods over the weekend, but refrained from going crazy, which was good, did not get that overfull stomachachey feeling, which was good and I just enjoyed myself. I had some pizza on Saturday and then on Sunday I went out with a new consort that I had met earlier that day at a party and had a carnitas burrito and some chips. I also had a cosmopolitan at the party, and it was GOOD! I wish bars would use organic juice in their mixed drinks, but oh well, that probably doesn't really happen in most places! Happy to report that even after 2 days of those "naughty" foods and drinks, I only weighed 149.8 on Monday, which was very cool! Today, I weighed 150.6, so I wasn't that happy to see the scale go up, but I failed to eat my MUFAs with every meal yesterday and I was naughty and had a popcorn ball late in the evening with had partially hydrogenated oil in it, which I usually try to avoid. My goal is to drop to 147 pounds this week with a body fat of 30.8%. I went for a little run and did some of those killer frog squats this morning and I did some push-ups yesterday (now I am up to 5!!! YAY!!!!) Oh but oh oh oh The biggest news EVER!!!! I PASSED MY LCSW EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was really hard and I studied a lot and it all paid off. I passed! It is a 2-part test and I have a year now to take the second half (you can't take the second half until you pass the first half), and so I plan to take the second half some time after the new year, like Jan. or Feb. probably and then I will be licensed by the spring. This means I can tell my job to kiss my butt and open a private practice and act however I want without having to be bound up in some national corporation. That is my big goal. And then I will finally, finally be able to dress how I want and do the pretty colors in my hair that I want. And I won't have to hide my nose ring anymore. Kind of funny to be excited about that, but I really value expressive freedom and it's hard sometimes at work when you have to present the image the company wants when it's not really you. And plus I think, for god's sake, I work with kids and teenagers. They would like blue hair and glitter and all that stuff. And most of my foster parents are pretty cool and laid back (you kind of HAVE to be to be a good foster parent) and they wouldn't care either. But, YES! I am so happy I passed. I sweated it out, I took every last minute they allotted us for the test and I was so happy when the screen said that I passed, I had tears of joy rolling down my face. It feels really good for me to be successful in this way because I really feel like it proves that you can be silly and crazy and dorky and weird and still be able to be intelligent and be a quality person with a respectable job. I think that too often people's creative or unique spirits get crushed by the demands of society and people give up parts of themselves that they really value because they feel like they need to conform and behave properly, be a "proper worker" or a "proper mother" or a "proper wife" or "proper citizen" or whatever. But I believe you can be great at all of those things and still march to the beat of a different drum. I always try to tell my kids that, that they should always be true to themselves, because there's always going to be somebody out there telling them to do this or do that. There is a poem by Shel Silverstein called Listen to the Musn'ts and I can't recall exactly how it goes, but it goes SOMETHING like this: ____________________________ Listen to the Musn'ts, child Listen to the Don'ts Listen to the Can-Never-Haves The Impossibles The Won'ts. Listen to them all my child Then listen close to me Anything is possible Anything can be. _________________________ Truly words to live by, in my opinion. So simple and so beautiful, and so true! Last edited on 18 November 2008 05:39 pm by Terabyte |
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Terabyte New Member
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Shameless I also felt pretty cool and sexy at that free party on Sunday where I met the new consort (well, two new consorts actually) because I met this dude was talking to him he was cool I was having a good time and then he went to go get me a drink and then some OTHER dude swooped in and he said oh hey is that your boyfriend or what? and i said nah, i just met him here (please note I have had a vodka straight up at this point, so I am feeling sorta buzzed and free and easy and whatnot, so I am probably talking a little bit more flirty than usual) and then the other guy was like wow, that's cool so do you have a boyfriend and i said I have a few and then I winked and then he keeps talking to me and asking me what do i do blah blah blah and I interrupted him and said that dude is going to be back any minute so you better put my number in your phone now or it won't happen and he said oh okay okay whipped out the blackberry, entered the number quick like then walked off and shortly thereafter, the other dude came back with my cosmopolitan awwww yeah I felt like Quagmire or something or like I don't know what I liked it though! I have always wanted to be one of THOSE girls and it feels really good to finally be one! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Well, I am glad you are back....been sitting here just waiting and waiting, lol. I know I will have a heck of time remembering your new screen name. So, you might have to keep reminding me it's you. I kind of wondered if it wasn't a computer thing. Cause, you disappeared the day the website went down. Anyway, Congrats on your exam. Glad you got that done with, and ready to move on to bigger and better things. It sounds like your eating is going ok and life is treating you well. So, I will go on that note. Because it is a busy day here, today. I heading out to pick up a tv for my kitchen. Yeah! No more smacking the dumb old tv during the packers game. Last edited on 18 November 2008 06:19 pm by cportwine |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Good to see you back. Huge congratulations on passing the LCSW!!!! Oh, and good luck with quitting smoking thing. You'll be happy you did. The thing that got me over the hump was to remember that the cravings don't usually last all that long, you have to keep that in mind when they happen, and maybe have a strategy (gum, go for a walk, etc) when they hit. If you a just a social smoker then you are going to get triggered when you are in that environment for sure. I am so glad they banned smoking in bars and restaurants in Chicago, you don't get that urge so much from smelling other people's cigarettes. Good luck! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Cindy: It might have been a computer thing, I am not sure. Who knows? I am just glad to be back! My eating is good but man I am hungry today, sheesh! I have had all MUFAs today though, and I am still around 355 calories so I guess that's not too bad for past 10:30am. My plan is to not eat anything until I go out to lunch and then have something reasonable. My goal is to be around 1300 calories for the day. I would be really pleased with that. Well, it's been three hours since my last cigarette, lol! I am really happy! Can't wait until a whole day goes by! And yes, I will definitely have to be careful going out, because that will trigger it for sure big time. And it's not even so much the going-out cigarettes that bug me, it's the at-home cigarettes that I smoke in the mornings or evenings or weekends. I hate my apartment to smell like smoke, I think that's gross! I made a date with my blue-eyed jew consort for this weekend. We are probably going to go out to the desert--it's his birthday and I told him we could do whatever he wanted, so he said he was leaning toward that. I just love the desert, it's beautiful and peaceful. I feel like I had a massive reboot whenever I go out there. All systems go. Well, I had better get my booty on off to work. So glad to be back with you guys! Talk to you when i get home! CPH is a safe alternative to nictoine, by the way. Did you know? |
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wolfmonk New Member
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You don't need a test to tell anyone you're smart, all that's required is reading what you write. It's kind of obvious.  - Still though - it does open up great opportunities for you so - big Congrats for that! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Gigiddy gigiddy gigiddy... Congrats on passing your exam! And good luck with the whole no smoking thing! That's great of you to decide to quit for a while. I'm sure that gained weight is just water weight. |
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Terabyte New Member
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hahah, that's hilarious that you said giggidy giggidy. hilarious! I laughed out loud. Wolfmonk: That is a nice compliment that you gave me, and while I don't think that a test tells someone if they are smart or not, it IS one of the standards that the behavioral sciences board has put out there (it's sort of like the bar exam for social workers) so it's nice to be able to meet that standard and have some sort of credibility in the world that I make most of my money in and that I have felt called to. Although, I am sure there are plenty of good social workers who do good work that couldn't pass the LCSW exam. It is a REALLY hard test. I was sweating bullets to get through it. My old boss took it and didn't pass (although he was pretty much a moron) but another one of my coworkers who is a good social worker and very intelligent did not pass her first OR second time. I am happy that my writing comes off as smart though. That is always nice to hear. Well, I came home from work today, and I have smoked a cigarette after coming home from work for like the past three weeks. I really wanted to smoke a cigarette, but obviously I had cleaned out the house of all nicotine, and I did NOT stop and buy more, so I was happy about that. I took a warm shower and did some meditation instead, so that was good, that is a good new habit to get into when I come home from work. I had to give myself some new ritual to do to replace the smoking. A hot shower and meditation is good and relaxing and ritualistic. I am also done with eating for the day. This is what I had: -some cashews (MUFA) -a piece of dark chocolate (MUFA) -some pumpkin seeds (MUFA) -chinese take out, not the healthiest, but I tried to keep it pretty vegetable heavy for my choices. Had chow mein, green bean chicken (that was mostly green beans) and brocolli beef (that had a lot of broccoli) so I was proud about that, followed by a few pumpkin seeds for MUFAs -a piece of See's candy followed by a few pumpkin seeds (MUFA) -some more cashews at the end of the day probably about 1760 calories. Not a big calorie deficit, probably around 150, but still a deficit. For exercise, as I already mentioned, I did some running and some froq squats and I also walked a LOT around the office today, up and down the stairs a lot and just generally being really busy with a lot of work that required walking and standing, so that was nice. I ended up walking about 1.5 miles altogether without really even trying, just walking to the car, walking around the office, etc. So that was cool. And I also carried my laundry, which was heavy, out to my car which was parked kinda far away. So that felt good! We shall see what the scale says tomorrow. My bleeding is acting weird though, had some spotting today, not sure what that was about, but it acted weird last month too. Hmmmm.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Yay, I just checked my mutual funds and it went up today, so I got 12 extra bucks out of it! So great! I am really tired! The early darkness arouses sleepiness in me big time! I went to sleep at like 9:00pm last night and I will probably do it again tonight! Ahhh, I do love to fall asleep on the couch though. It feels so great! Wow, I am actually excited to go do that right now. I have the universe's most comfortable couch. And with my new heater, all toasty. awwwwwwwwwwww yeah! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I totally agree with both the darkness thing and sleeping on the couch. I don't know why, but I love sleeping on the couch, ever since I was little. I think I feel safer there for some reason. Sometimes I even ask my boyfriend to pull out the hida-bed so we can both sleep on the couch together. All I wanna do when the days are shorter is climb in bed and sleep. I completely understand bears. The short days are kinda depressing though, because I wake up, go to class, and by the time I walk outside it's dark already! Good job on the MUFAs! You got in a ton today! Also, with the chinese food... I'm pretty sure chow mein is lower in calories than fried rice, and brocolli beef is definitely low in calories. I used to always get it before I quit eatting non- free range meat. The bean stuff is probably really low too. So good job! Chinese food is one of my biggest weaknesses! I crave all the worst things! |
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Terabyte New Member
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well, the chinese food wasn't too bad, because when I got on the scale this morning, it said I weighed 149.4. So, I am progressing pretty good on my goal of weighing 147 or less by Sunday. I have 4 more days to go. I just need to lose .6 pounds a day. I am sure I can do it. When I was eating the MUFAs faithfully last week, I lost 6 pounds in 4 days, so I am sure I can lose 2.4 pounds in 4 days. I DID fall asleep watching family guy, and it was great. I woke up at 6:20am to find that my friend had drunk-dialed me 3 times last night. I am glad I keep my phone on silent usually so I don't get bothered by guys doing stupid things, because they sure do them a lot it seems! He wanted to tell me what had seemed like a funny story at the time when he was all tossed, but when he told me the story this morning, it seriously was not really funny at all, so whatever! Incidentally, the big thing on my mind right now is that I really like this guy AND his room-mate and I am wondering what the odds are of enjoying both of their company simultaneously. I think I am too shy to come out and ask that so I will just have to see if the situation presents itself. I will call it up in my visualizations maybe until it realizes itself. But man! That would be so awesome! (I think, I have never done that before). If anybody has, you should send me a PM and tell me what it was like. The only other thing I want to consider though is how they would act afterwards, like I don't want it to be all strange and I really like both of them and I don't want to go into the party-girl category in their minds because both of them would make good long-term consorts, but the party-girl thing will probably happen if we go through with it... but I don't know, I've never really talked to any dudes about how they feel about that. Ack, I probably won't do it anywhere but in the recesses of my mind I guess, but it's definitely been on my mind since I talked more to the room-mate at that party on Sunday. Sorry if that's gross to people, but I tried to say it as nicely as possible. Surely I can't be the only one who has ever contemplated such an activity! And to all the 13-year-olds on here, I am just talking about having a nice cup of tea with them, nothing else! |
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Terabyte New Member
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I went to go do my laundry at my friend JPs house, and some strange Italian dude (like visiting from Italy) was asleep on the couch. He woke up and said hi to me, but his English is about as good as my Italian is (which is pretty bad), so i mostly just smiled pleasantly. Then we had a earthquake, and I was waking him up and trying to tell him come with me, come on, we have to get under a doorway, but he just looked dazed and confused and then the earthquake stopped, so I just said, never mind. It was pretty funny, thank God it was a short and pretty small earthquake because there was no way I could have fireman-carried that dude anywhere, especially not downstairs. My friend JP is part of a couch-surfer program, and he has been to tons of people's houses everywhere--Turkey, Italy, Greece, etc. And so he is always having people from all over the world sleeping on his couch. It's pretty cool, and a pretty sweet deal, that way you don't ever pay for hotels and you get to just sort of chill with local folks. Fabiano, that was the Italian dude's name. Pretty handsome too, especially for just waking up and being confused, lol! Last edited on 19 November 2008 06:01 pm by Terabyte |
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zenobia Moderator
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man, you completely threw me off! i havn't been keeping up on journals all that well lately and didn't see that you had to change your name. lol- you posted in my diary and i was going to welcome you to the forums. i hoped that straylight didn't leave, but i was thinking to myself when i read your posts in my diary "terabyte sort of reminds me of straylight. interesting". yeah, i've been a bit slow lately congrats on passing! that's a great accomplishment!!!! and congrats on all the boys! lol- that's a great acconmplishment, too! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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lol, you crack me up. I also just got say, that you must be horny(oops, I mean thirsty) all the time. I never heard someone that likes to have that much (you know) tea, except for my husband, lol. Which is annoying at times. I suppose it would be more exciting when you don't have the same partner all the time. Anyway, I say go for it. Why not, if thats what you want. I have never done that, but I had a friend who did once and she said if you ever get the chance to do it, definitely do it! So, if I ever get that chance, I will probably go for it, lol. I also don't see anything gross about it. I would think it might bother some peoples morals, but If your having tea with someone, then what difference would it make if there was another tea partner there. I don't know, I guess, I have always separated tea fun from the love of my tea. So, it wouldn't bother my morals at all. ps: It's hard to talk about tea sometimes, lol Last edited on 19 November 2008 06:35 pm by cportwine |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Wow, an earthquake! I have never felt one before, I think, I would freak out....lol |
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Terabyte New Member
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well, we'll see what happens with the tea. I don't even necessarily like to drink tea all the time, I am really not that thirsty all the time. I just REALLY like men and I really like spending time with them and then sometimes some of them are just, you know, really something else and then I think about them a lot but it's not I am always thinking about tea. not like your husband, lol!!!! Zen: Thanks for your congratulations. I was SO glad to pass that test. And I felt about ten feet tall on Sunday, I tell you! It was awesome! Had a great day today! My top advisor consort invited me out to a show tomorrow night, so that should be really fun. And I hardly ever get to see him during the week, so it's pretty cool! And I had a really good time at work too. Was just the right amount of busy, not stressed but not slow or bored at all. It was just perfect! What else--calories were good too today, probably about 1450. And this is what I had: -some cashews (MUFA) -hot dog with melted cheddar cheese and some pumpkin seeds (MUFA) -two pieces of See's chocolate candies and some pumpkin seeds -small serving of cheesey popcorn -pumpkin seeds -some more cashews And I can't believe it--I am getting paid on Thursday at midnight, and I have like hundreds of extra dollars from not eating out and buying my own food. Amazing! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Yea, that is great about the extra dollars. Are you planning something special to do with it. You should as a reward to yourself for being good at your dieting and exercise. I wish I could save from dieting, I spend twice as much. Cause I have to buy my food and then food for everyone else. I wish I could bring them over to my side of eating healthy. |
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Terabyte New Member
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I am just planning on saving it really for a rainy day. I have everything I need and want right now, so it just feels good to have it on hand if I come across something I feel like I want. You know? As far as the tea for three goes, I think I am going to take the approach that I am definitely not going to bring it up, but if the situation presents itself, I am going for it. But if it doesn't present itself, I am not setting anything in motion. I will put it in my meditations and basically ask that it would work out the best for me-- knowing that I really truly fancy these dudes in a real way, not just a sexy way. That is my plan! And in other great news, the scale said 148.4 pounds this morning. Hooray! That is awesome. That is a whole pound less since yesterday! I really think the MUFAs are a lifesaver. I am amazed and so happy! They are great. And I ate See's candy yesterday too! Wow! So now, I just have to lose 1.4 pounds by Sunday. I know I can do it! Today I am really craving a Subway tuna sandwich. Those have about 800 calories, so I would have to be a bit careful about whatever else I eat today, I want to keep it around 1400 or so. So that leaves me 600 to play with. I already have cashews this morning, so that leaves me 440 to play with. Darn, I wish I had some carrots or something. I seriously need to go to the store. But 440 is good. I can deal with that. |
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wadoryu1 New Member
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Terabyte wrote:
I thought I was the only one that craved tuna sandwich's from Subway! So good! I'm not sure about the 800 calories though, I guess it depends what you get on it. I like wheat bread with veggies. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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he he, I am going to have tuna on mac and cheese today. I can't wait!!!! I don't think I have had one from subway. I tend to avoid the place. If I am going to have a sub, I would rather make it myself. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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mmm... I love subway and macaroni and cheese! I used to always get the turkey on honey oat bread, now I get just veggies on honey oat... that is the best bread in the world! I started baking my own macaroni instead of eatting it from the box... it's waaay healthier! I put hardly any cheese in it, and it still tastes amazing! I love tuna and peas in it. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Yes, I agree with the homemade mac and cheese it is to die for.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Yikes, FRACK! It's not 800 calories from Subway. It's 800 calories from freaking Togo's, but from Subway the tuna sub is 1060 calories! Oops! Oh well... can't go back! I still have a deficit today, albeit a pretty puny one, only about 120 calories. But a deficit is a decifit, and I was good about my MUFAs. Here is what I ate today: -some cashews (MUFA) -green tea -some more green tea -a very small piece of dark chocolate (MUFA) -Subway tuna sandwich with chips and some pumpkin seeds (MUFA) -some blueberries with a macadamia (MUFA) white chocolate chip cookie -some more cashews Altogether about 1860 calories. That's a lot! More than I was shooting for, but I still have a deficit. And every minute I stay awake is a bigger deficit. Right now I am looking at about a 120 deficit. Oh well... For anyone that remembers that mother who walked 2.5 miles in 45 minutes in the blazing heat to see her son--she had a visit with him today, and I had told the son earlier before she got there that it was obvious that she loved him very much. I told him I've seen a lot of parents come through here, and none of them, that I have seen, love their kids as much as your mom loves you. You really mean the world to her. And the son asked me if he could tell his mom what I said during the visit with his mom, and I said sure well, the mom got tears in her eyes and she went to give me a hug, and she said, it's true, katie, I love him so much... thank you for saying that and it was really, really beautiful. I thought of her while I was meditating this evening and how great she is. I can't wait until she can get her son back. And then she said to me you know when I get him back, it will be hard to leave you. I really like you. I thought that was SO SWEET. I have never EVER had a biological parent say that to me before. I mean I have had them say some nice stuff--they really appreciate me, they are so happy that their child has me as a worker, they can tell I really care about the kids, and so forth. But I have never had a parent say they would miss me once they got their child back. That was really amazing to me, and made me feel like a million bucks. |
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zenobia Moderator
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i think it is so awesome that you have a job that does so much good. how you are so thrilled and willing to do your job; how it's so important and significant; how you can go home and know that you are being a positive entity. your soul must be pure joy. that's just so friggin cool. |
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Terabyte New Member
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you know what, it actually is REALLY great. I have had lots of moments at my job where my heart feels so happy because I think Man, I am really in here, in the middle of people's lives, like I am IN it! And it's my job and I get paid for it, but it really is like such an honorable and deeply satisfying position to be in. I was chilling in the kitchen with one of my foster families just being goofy talking about Sex and the City (there's ALL girls in that home, the only male is the foster father, who was sitting there too being a good sport, rolling his eyes, but still grinning looking at his wife and daughters--foster annd otherwise) and I was just thinking wow I am really here with this family, in this moment, looking at this creation of people that were basically thrown together by chance (4 of the girls there are foster placements) and they really are a family. And they love each other. And I get to be here in it, feeling it, having been a part of it, and that's really cool. I mean it's more than cool, it's just amazing. And who am I too--I was just the worker assigned to the home, it could have been another worker, but now I am part of their family too. One thing my job has really taught me is that family and love has nothing to do with blood--DNA--or anything. It has to do with shared experience. Because all of the families I work with have members that are not blood, not related in any way, just happened to have an open bed with a random kid needed a home. But now, those kids ARE that family, they are just as much part of the family as a biological kid. And my position is real interesting because I go into their homes every week and I know all these private, intimate details of their lives, and it's just well i don't know what it is it's an interesting position and like I said an honorable position and unique, a thing unto itself. I am glad the position is there, and I am way glad to fill it! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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You know that is great that you like your job so much. I think allot of times, myself included, that people get in a rut and have a hard time appreciating what is that they do. I know I do that. After years of doing the same thing, it's hard to get excited by it anymore. |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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I wish they would wait to mix the tuna with mayo until it is made for you. I think that's where all the calories are. At home I make mine with mostly mustard and veggies, then add a teeny tiny bit of miracle whip. They should give us that option there, considering they're subway after all! I mean 1060 calories for a "healthy" option is a lot! I freaked out when I found out how many calories my favorite nachos from taco dell mar had in them... it was around the same amount! Haven't eatten them since and that was like 5 months ago |
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wadoryu1 New Member
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Are you referring to the foot long tuna sub? How is that possibly over 1000 calories? A double whopper with mayo and cheese from BK is 1100 calories. I can't see it being equivalent to that. What do you get on the sub that makes it a caloric monster? |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I would think the bread alone in a sub would be allot. |
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zenobia Moderator
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well, from my research, wheat bread is like 190 cals (6 in). so it's not that bad. cheese adds like 4. if they use full fat mayo, well, it does add up fast... a 6 inch tuna (it doesn't say with or without cheese, but i am assuming without, as that's how they used to do it) is 530 cals. not too horrible if you keep the cheese off and only have a 6 inch. |
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Terabyte New Member
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yes. i too wish they would let you decide how much mayo to mix in with the tuna. I don't know where all the calories come from, but i am thinking mostly from the bread and the mayo in the tuna. But yes, of course the six inch is a better choice (thank you Ms. Captain Obvious, Zen, lol). But sometimes I want to be a big pig. I mean, I did okay, I still lost a pound yesterday, so clearly I didn't do anything bad, but it does suck that the sandwich packs so many calories. Cindy, yeah, I really do appreciate my job although aspects of it drive me nuts sometimes. I guess it's probably like that no matter what job you have, you know? I am thinking of applying for CPS services with the County. I have done that before, and I think I was pretty good at it. I know the County really needs some good people right now, so I will look into it. It won't hurt to put my little feelers out. I am really close to getting licensed too, so that is a lot going in my favor, career-wise. WOO HOO!!! I am waiting for my Friday night date to get here. I bought a bottle of Pinot Grigio to enjoy with him. I allotted two glasses of wine, so I had better keep within the limit, because I do not have that big of a deficit today either... This is what I ate today: -cashews -a few more cashews -green tea -superbird sandwich and some seasoned fries from Denny's plus some cashews -some pumpkin seeds -some chocolate meringue cookies from Trader joe's (these are amazing and only 30 calories each, I don't know how it's possible but it IS!!!) -3 pieces of almond roca candy -some more green tea and then I plan on having two glasses of pinot grigio All told, about 1785 clories. I will probably have about a 200 calorie deficit at the end of the day. I went running, walking, and did some push-ups this morning, plus I walked to go get lunch with my lovely comrade, Jennifer. She is REALLY cool by the way. I love it when I have cool coworkers that are fun to chill with. |
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wolfmonk New Member
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Personally I think it sucks that a slab of ribs packs so many calories. Where's the justice in that?? Just saying... Your attitude is always so good - I'm hoping some of it rubs off from reading your diary. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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You know, I agree with that ...... you always have a great attitude. Your up beat and happy all the time...... what is your secret? |
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Terabyte New Member
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Dang, ribs sound GOOD! When I was a little girl, that was my favorite thing ever. I remember one time, I must have been about 8 or 9, we went to a restaurant and I ordered prime rib, thinking that it was ribs. And I was so disappointed and sad when they brought up this slab of meat instead of my beloved barbecue ribs. My parents felt bad because they thought oh oops, we should have explained that it wasn't ribs, but they just weren't thinking that way and figured I wanted prime rib. And I STILL don't like prime rib. Blech! But I do still like ribs. It doesn't seem like ribs should be THAT many calories--I mean it's mostly just meat protein, but I guess the sauce probably adds the calories? Actually, I want to see how many calories are in ribs, now that I think about it... be right back ... ... ... ... okay wow, it's like 174 calories per "large rib." How many ribs usually come in an order I wonder? It's seriously been a LONG time since I've had ribs. Gosh, at least ten years, something like that. Anyway, yeah that is a lot. Well, hold on, let me think about it. For that tuna sub, it's 1030, so if I traded those calories for ribs that would be....almost 6 ribs! 6 large ribs. I guess that's a pretty good deal! I gotta go out for a quick run. The green tea has just kicked in. Be back soon! |
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Terabyte New Member
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all right, I went out and did a quick run and met a cute man with a cute dog. That was nice. And these old Russian dudes are ALWAYS out smoking in the morning, so I always say hi to them when I run by. And I don't know how old they are, but they look older than the hills. Then I did some strength training, and now I am done and eating pumpkin seeds. I need to do some serious shopping. My goal is to get through today with what I have, and then I have my free day tomorrow which usually means I go out and eat a bunch of delicious naughty food. And then I don't have to work until noon on Monday, so my plan is to go shopping before I go to work. I actually also think I might stop by the office and pick up some notes my boss left me on this report I wrote so I can maybe work on it over the weekend a bit and have it emailed to her before Monday. In which case, I will get to be at work even LATER than noon on Monday, so that is my plan. I just need to hurry up eat and shower and get my butt over to the office AND the bank to deposit my checks! (WOO HOO!!!! The city of West Covina mailed me back what I paid for that ticket I fought and won!) Cindy and Wolfmonk: I really do appreciate your kind words about how you admire my attitude. I've got to tell you, it probably took a good year and a half of hard mental retraining and doing mental exercises (meditation, visualization, mantras) every day to make my attitude shift to how it is now. I have taken different techniques that I have learned from different sources (quantum physics, cognitive/behavioral psychology even religion) and I would say that the basics of keeping up my good attitude include -waking up and saying something positive that I am thankful for to get myself in a good mindset for the rest of the day -setting aside time in the morning to meditate and just relax and think of things I am happy about and how I want my day/week/year/life to unfold and visualizing these things happening -throughout the entire day putting conscious effort into noticing nice things, even small things, and taking time out to say thank you or that's beautiful or wow, that's nice. I make a point to tell people when I think something nice about them, and usually I will even give thanks out loud when something nice happens to me, even something seemingly small like my make-up looking good or finding a parking space or getting to my destination safely -taking time agin in the evening after dark to meditate again -then when i am falling asleep, I ask for good dreams and go over the things I was thankful for during the day. And if anything happened that I didn't like, I replay it in my mind that it happened differently, the way I would have wanted it to happen, and then I go on with my reality as if it happened the way I wanted it to happen. It doesn't always work, sometimes I get cross or I get sad, but I would say that generally this has greatly improved my attitude and made me a pretty happy woman. And it has brought wonderful events and people into my life. I really think that a good attitude attracts more good stuff (and the same goes for a bad attitude). |
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Terabyte New Member
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The scale this morning said 147.8, which is up .4 pounds from yesterday which totally suxOrs because I had at least a 400 calorie deficit yesterday, which means I should have been down by .1 pounds, but oh well, it didn't happen that way. Hopefully it was just water I retained from the salty pumpkin seeds or something. My stomach is still looking flat, so that's a good thing. But because the scale went up like that, and I mean I really really REALLY want to lose .8 pounds by tomorrow and have the scale say 147, I am going to try to eat VERY LITTLE today. I don't know how little, but very little. Maybe I can live on the pumpkin seeds, green tea, and wine. (I have two dates today, one during the day and one at night, so hopefully that will just keep me busy and not hungry). The date last night was pretty good, except I think there might be something shady about the guy. He told me is still living with his ex, but I get the feeling they are still together and he is just being a dodgey mofo (you know the type). I can't exactly say what makes me think this, but his interactional patterns are classic for a guy who is in a relationship and trying to cheat. I don't like that type of stuff. I am all for polyamory if everyone is up front about it and knows what's going on, but I don't like deceit and lying and I certainly have no respect for anyone who makes a commitment to somebody to be monogamous and then cheats. I think that's really low. So, like I said, I don't have any definite proof, but I just got that feeling. It was fun, had some wine, some laughs, etc., but I kept him at arm's length because I just felt the shadiness emanating from him. And you know what, honestly, of course it bothers me that he is cheating on his girlfriend or wife or whatever he has, but I think it's an insult to MY intelligence that he thinks I won't pick up on the fact, you know? I mean, if he just came out and said, look I'm in a relationship, but I think you're sexy so I want to have you on the side, I could at least have a little more respect for him than with him just being shady and thinking he's going to play us both. You know? And I think, I am a social worker for Christ's sake, I deal with shady SHADY addict parents all the time who are full of lies and I think you can give me a little more credit than that, you know? I can smell BS from miles away... But anyway, the guys I have dates with today are not shady like that and plus they are cuter anyway so  !!!!! But anyway back to the food intake, let me think. Okay, I have figured it out. If I ration out my food and I have a serving of pumpkin seeds and an almond roca candy every 3 hours then I can still have 3 glasses of wine with my evening date (or my day date or whatever) and still be about 1075 for calories. So that is a good plan! I am going to do it! Yay! And hooray for sleeping in! I love it when i sleep in and laze around all morning and then it gets to be 11:00 and i've only had 190 calories. It makes me feel so cool! lol! can i get an amen? You know you guys love it too! Last edited on 22 November 2008 07:14 pm by Terabyte |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Wow, I love what you posted about how you changed your attitude, the daily steps you take. That's cool. And - Amen! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Yea, after reading it, it made me feel bad that I let stuff get me down. So, your my inspiration. I am going to try a few of those techniques and see if I can have a better attitude about things. Lord knows, with everything going on, I sure could use a little positive thinking... |
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Terabyte New Member
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I am glad you ladies found inspiration in what I wrote. I really stand by those statements, as I have seen great results. And really, it just feels good to FEEL GOOD, you know, to be conscious and mindful of good things happening. And it's like once you start noticing good things, you notice all these good things and then all these really good things are always happening, big, small, medium, whatever! It's great! If you haven't checked it out, I gained a lot of knowledge from the book and the movie "The Secret." Awesome stuff in there. And I learned some good stuff from the movie "What The Bleep Do We Know?" and the book The Science of Mind. Great exercises, great mind technology in those sources! I am proud of myself. I went to work and got my boss's notes and finished my second draft of a report and have emailed it to her. What a load off my mind. And the whole endeavor (including going to the office and picking up the dang thing) only took about 30 minutes. So that was really cool! And it's DONE ALL DONE!!! YAY!!!! Also, I am addicted to this game called Bookworm. Have any of you ever played it? Man, it's fun AND you can play it for money. Dangerous! But fun! Danger and fun seem to go together a lot it seems! |
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wolfmonk New Member
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Definitely trust your instincts with Mr. Shady. Thanks for running down your techniques for remaining perky - I'm going to give some of them a spin! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Yipes! I did not stick to my plan yesterday! Wine and male beauty weakened my resolve and I ate way more than I meant to. I ate a bunch of cheese AND a bunch of almond roca that I shouldn't have eaten, but oh well. The scale still said 148.6 this morning (still in the 140s, so that is good!) I will STILL have my planned free day today and act ask if that little whoopsie doodle yesterday didn't happen. Not very happy about it, but at least I didn't eat until my stomach hurt! My dates were very cool. The blue-eyed Jew consort is still sleeping and the one earlier, I don't know know what to call him, maybe the really young consort because he's like 23. Nah, I don't like that name. Ummmmm.... dang! I can call him. Darn it! I can't think of a good description. I'll have to think some more about it...oh I know, I'll call him the sneaky-smooth consort because he got my number on the sly while I was actually with another guy at this party. So he's the sneaky one, not to be confused with the freaking Super Shady consort that I think has a girlfriend, like a real committed live-in girlfriend, that is actually NOT my consort anymore I decided. The sneaky-smooth consort and I went to a shisha lounge and had melon flavored shisha and it was REALLY good! And he's already texted me twice this morning saying hi, which is really cool! So woo hoo! I sort of have a wine hangover, but it feels okay. |
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Terabyte New Member
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haha OMG the sneaky-smooth consort texted me asking to meet me this morning for coffee, so I told the basically sleeping bue-eyed jew consort that i would be back in an hour or so and now i am off to The Grindhouse to meet the sneaky-smooth one. LOL!!!! One man in the bed and going off to meet another one. Dude, it feels great! I am LIVING IT!!!! woo hoo! gotta love it! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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LOL, that is great.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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cool, had a nice date and brought a cake home for the blue-eyed Jew so now we are going to enjoy that. yum yum! |
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wolfmonk New Member
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Those almond roca things - sheeeit - any of the roca things - are temptation incarnate! If I had them in the house I KNOW I'd eat them. I can empathize with your splurge. |
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zenobia Moderator
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Terabyte wrote: haha OMG the sneaky-smooth consort texted me asking to meet me this morning for coffee, so I told the basically sleeping bue-eyed jew consort that i would be back in an hour or so and now i am off to The Grindhouse to meet the sneaky-smooth one. LOL!!!! One man in the bed and going off to meet another one. Dude, it feels great! I am LIVING IT!!!!that is the coolest thing i have heard in ages! cool, had a nice date and brought a cake home for the blue-eyed Jew so now we are going to enjoy that. yum yum!ok. now i think that is! hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Almond roca is definitely a big weakness for me, as is cheese AND cookies. Sheesh! Well, I ate a lot today and probably am going to have some more wine tonight because the sneaky-smooth consort is bringing some over. I told him I liked pinot grigio, so he said he would pick some up. The Blue Eyed Jew is gone now, had a nice birthday cake little celebration and then played Silent Hill and then just chilled listening to some drum-n-bass. Ahhhh, i LOVE drum-n-bass. It's awesome! Man, I have definitely eaten enough today. I ate a pint of ice cream and a pizza. Whew! I am full full full! Maybe I will have like one glass of wine and just nurse it because if I eat any more it will cross over from full to painfully full. |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh yeah AND I like the Blue-Eyed Jew because he definitely saves his game! Which I love and wish more men would do. You hear me guys? SAVE THE GAME MORE OFTEN! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Nice--I saw Sneaky-Smooth last night, and he brought over a wine I had never heard of--a red. It was good. I got a text message from Mr. Shady that I checked later and he was like oh i am so sorry about friday night, my ex is just crazy. I should have turned my phone off, and I want to make it up to you for having our time be ruined on Friday. So I wrote back and said fine bring some wine over and give me a massage and that will be a start for you making it up to me. so then HE came over with some wine and gave me a pretty good massage (although honestly, I've had better, but oh well, he tried). And I told him look, if you want to hang out and spend time, that's cool, but I am not going to kiss you or certainly do anything more than that as long as you are living with your ex. And he said, okay that's fair but of course he tried to get me to kiss him, but I said no way dude figure your living situation first and then we'll see. so that was cool. I was proud of myself. He said oh can i take you to a movie or a play (because i live by some nice theaters in hollywood) and i said you can take me out all your want, but there will be no sugar until you have moved out of that chick's apartment. Period. In other news, due to all the  and ice cream yesterday, I weighed in at 151.4 this morning, but that is to be expected. I have myself a LOT of food yesterday. But it was good, and it was worth it. The goal for today is just to keep calories reasonable and have a MUFA at every meal, and I am sure the weight will go down over the next few days. I plan on going shopping too, because i really need to, my cupboards are looking like mother hubbard's. My friend D. might be coming over later, so that will be cool to see him. My goal is to hit 147 this week. That is my big goal. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, well cool! I went out for a little run and then did some frog squats. It's hard to keep good form on those, but it feels good to keep a perfect form. The temptation to lower the head is high, but I kept focused and kept my head up. It's funny how a little thing like that can affect the rest of the body and the execution of the move. First set = 6 Second set = 4 I am also now running for two minutes and 5 seconds. My running schedule right now is to go out and run every day and add five seconds onto the run each day. And then I walk the rest of the half mile. Eventually I'd like to build up to being in a marathon, but I am not there yet! Getting there.... (always getting there, lol!) what a lightweight, I know, but if you keep good form it's harder to do them. I wasn't keeping good form before. My friend told me last night that her son is now a red belt in karate. I think that is so cool! (He's 7). |
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Terabyte New Member
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somebody posted giggity giggity in my journal, and i woke up thinking about it this morning who was it? that was hilarious! I am going to say that a lot now. or how quagmire says all RIGHT, I love it! i sort of am like a female quagmire i guess, but I am not so much into sex as i am into just spending time (not that I am NOT into sex, but you know what I mean). My relationships aren't primarily about sex, although i think all my consorts are sexy. I am not about belt notches or whatever. That is too easy for a girl anyway. I mean seriously, we could just go out in the street and proposition just about any man and get him to have sex with us, but it's the actual back-and-forth relationship/conversation/company thing that's meaningful, you know? besides, to be honest with you, I have a little purple toy called Old Faithful and if I am just looking for satisfaction in THAT department, I will just bust out Old Faithful. He gets the job done!!!! best 6 bux I ever spent! |
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Terabyte New Member
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OMG!!!! Sneaky-smooth just emailed me some pictures, and I tried to post them because they are WAY cute and way pretty but they are too big! yipes! But if anyone cares to see how I scored big-time, PM me. I don't expect anyone to get as excited about this as me (obviously) but I am telling you--wow! Everything is coming up Millhouse! |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh oh OH AND! Because my physical address is primarily changing starting Dec. 1 to a Loma Linda address instead of this L.A. address, my insurance premium is dropping by $100! That's $100 I save every month! WOW! And--- I just went shopping and stocked up on a bunch of healthy, delicious food at Trader Joe's. i couldn't be happier! Wow! I feel like I am going to pop! I have taken a million dumps today too |
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wolfmonk New Member
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What good stuff did you pick up at Trader Joes? I'm always looking to try new stuff. |
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Terabyte New Member
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I got a bunch of cheese, some apples, some bananas, some cottage cheese, spicy soy flax chips, pita chips, lasagna, eggs, blackberries, ginger snaps, and raw almonds. :) |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Terabyte wrote: I got a bunch of cheese, some apples, some bananas, some cottage cheese, spicy soy flax chips, pita chips, lasagna, eggs, blackberries, ginger snaps, and raw almonds. :) This reminds me, I totally need to get to the grocery store tomorrow. Thanks for sharing the ideas. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Woo hoo! The scale said 149.8 this morning, so I was happy! I had a really good day yesterday, got a bunch of work done and then had a visit from my friend D (not a consort, but a good friend. Probably wants to be a consort--well actually, I KNOW he does, but it's not in the cards for him right now). Anyway that was fun, drank some wine and watched some simpsons and just listened to music and talked, so that was cool. I ate lots of delicious food yesterday, so I am so pleased that the scale still went down: I had -a whole bag of pita chips! OMG SO GOOD! with some green olives -some more green olives -pumpkin seeds -ginger snap cookies -an apple -green tea -glass of red wine I felt so guilty about those chips, but even with them I had about 1675 calories in and somewhere around 1900 out, so that was good. I also walked a little over a mile today. Today, I sat around chatting on the phone too long this morning and did not go running, but I did do some push-ups, so that felt good. I also drank some green tea. I have not had breakfast yet, and I am leaving straight from home to go to a morningish appointment out in Highland (about 2 hours away), so I will probably have some almonds in the car or something. Something MUFA and portable. And then later, I don't know what I will have. I sorta want a burger, but we'll see how that freaking works out. I could probably make it work as long as I watch what I eat the rest of the day. Because farmer boy burgers.... mmmmmm..... (homer drool). We need a homer drooling icon! Let me think.... farmer boy hamburger with fries is about 1200 calories. And some nuts will be about 200 calories that makes 1400 calories. Well okay, and then if I have some wine that's like 1325 calories and then I could have some blueberries, that's like 1375 calories. Yes! I could do it! I could definitely do it! And I probably WILL do it! YAY! AND I have a date with Sneaky-Smooth tonight, which should prove to be very, very fun. I am greatly looking forward to it. Giggidy giggidy! |
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zenobia Moderator
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ooooh- you have mentioned pinot grigio.... if you like it a tad on the sweet side (but not like johanesberg or riesling sweet... no, much less sweet than that...)...l Macmurray. really really tastey stuff and it's not too pricey. and i can't help but be curious of the red that you had.... and i hope your date was... date-like. in the good way. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Where are you? Do you know how boring it is when you are not on here.... Come back soon... |
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Terabyte New Member
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wow, that's like one of the nicest compliments i think i have ever gotten! do you know how boring it is around here when you're not around wow! supersize that! anyway--- The name of the type of red is Valdiguie. Have you ever heard of it? I never had before. Not like I'm some big wine buff or anything, but... And the date was indeed date-like. Generally good. He looked very extremely handsome and everything was cool and sexy and fun and funny UNTIL........... !!!! until he decided to get way too drunk for his own good, finishing almost an entire bottle of wine to his head. At which point he became really sloppy and overflirty and i was just like dude! I ended telling him he needed to chill out and go in the backroom and lie down because he was seriously being too much for me, and I certainly wasn't going to send him home as drunk as all that. I mean at least he was a happy drunk and very complimentary of me---I don't think I have ever been told so many times in a row how pretty and sexy I am---but holy moley dude, even happy piss-drunk is still piss-drunk. And I don't like piss-drunk. I mean not where I can't just briefly be entertained by it and then be out of its presence. I definitely don't like it in my little apartment. He woke up very sheepish and apologetic, like he shoulda been, so i was like fine dude, you made an #%@&! out of yourself last night. You got way too drunk. And he was like I know, I know, my god I am so sorry. So anyway, I give the dude a little break. I guess being super beautiful really does buy you some points that other people wouldn't get, sorry to say but it's the truth. Because an uglier man could have probably done that and I would have completely never seen him again. But I said listen to me dude if you get that drunk again ever when we are hanging out, that will be the last time we hang out. And he said, I will not do that again, I promise. So whatever. I am sure I will see him again, but I don't want to see him again tonight all soon, which was what he wanted to do. I am sure I will get over it, but I am still a little peeved about it. I know everyone makes mistakes and Lord knows I have been piss drunk at inappropriate times, but still. AND I know he's young and only 23, and I remember being a completely moron sometimes when I was 23. Like a real class-A moron sometimes the stunts I would pull. Which is why am I am making a few allowances. Well, those reasons and his physical beauty. (That really does get you points, I didn't realize until just now how much it helps to be REALLY pretty.) But anyway the point is what is the point? i have rambled on a lot, lol the sort of point is or would be that the date was nice in some aspects until he screwed it up, but he didn't blow it completely and I don't regret it. I was sort of glad that I could regulate so well because before I don't think I would have been able to put him in check like I did last night. So that made me proud of myself. I also however was a pig in my own right yesterday, so maybe it takes one to know one, but I stuffed my face like CRAZY. I don't know why and I am actually pretty ashamed of it. I haven't done that in a long time, just eaten everything in sight on a non-cheat day. It was like no-holds-barred. It was wrong. It was just plain wrong. lol. FRACK! And I am paying for it today on the scale with a whopping lardbutt weight of 153.8. And furthermore, I feel totally bloated and fat and gross. So I have kept my calories pretty low today, I plan to finish off the day at 1360 calories, absolutely no more. If I can that, I will feel better tomorrow, I think. So for the rest of the night, it's just a banana, some almonds, and water. Lots of water! And in other news, I have been exploring some super way cool music lately. Molly puts little links in her blogs. I should do that too. I am bitin' it! So check this one out: It's really awesome! I love love OLD warehouse techno. So beautiful me! Spinning Wheel by Zero B: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKc1Hppi9xY Gorgeous! And this other one by Zero B (Lock Up): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3-pnFJsu68 |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Nice. The 2nd linky is dead but the first one sounds familiar. Way coool. |
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zenobia Moderator
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ah. the waaaaaay too drunk story. got it. yeah, that's a bit over board. it's neat that you kept yourself in check though. i would be proud too! no, i've actually not heard of that wine, i don't think. i will look it up, though! oh, i dig the music. it remind me of the cool stuff they would play on Adult Swim. they probably did play zero b. neat. thanks for the exposure! Last edited on 27 November 2008 02:01 am by zenobia |
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Terabyte New Member
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No man, that second link works I just did it! I am listening to it right now!!! anyway, yesterday was better than the day before. Work was pretty good and now they are thinking they might just keep my in Hollywood becasue they didn't read the stinking contract for the Hollywood office (which is basically a gift to us from the city of Los Angeles, we don't pay rent) but we have to be running 2 programs out of it and there has to be degree-carrying people running those programs. And the chick they were going to use in my stead does not have a degree and so the idiots over in corporate made a decision without all the information they needed because they were so desperate to save money on my mileage basically. Wow! They are so dumb! Anyway, whatever. So we'll see what they decide to do. I just think it's funny how the people in charge seriously have no idea what's going on! The more time passes, the more I notice this all the time. It makes me think that you have to be a complete buffoon in order to be in a high position. I don't know man! Crazy! As far as my eating went, I have made a serious decision to return to NOT eating white carbs except on Sundays. That was when everything was going the best for me body-wise, mental-state-wise, and energy-wise. I started reintroducing white carbs into my diet probably two weeks ago, something like that, when I had a rice dish at a Thai place. Although rice in and of itself is not altogether that bad, it led into more and more white carbs being added until I was back to eating like pizza and pasta and bread and blah blah blah. So, I made the decision this morning, no white carbs. And I did it before, so I know I can do it again! The only white carb stuff I even have are some ginger snap cookies and some meringue cookies and I know I can leave those alone until Sunday. So, that is my new plan. The scale said 153 this morning, which was a good drop from yesteryda's 153.8, but I just don't even like to see a number in the 150s really. I need to get back on track and serious, not make little allowances for myself, because I know exactly where those lead, and it's NOT pretty! In other news--Sneaky-Smooth texted me and called me wanting me to come over and chill with him today, which was nice, but I was like nahhhhh, I just want some time to pass for the piss-drunk image of him to get out of my head, you know? I have heard from all of my consorts already today wishing me a happy thanksgiving, which I think is really cool! I love having nice, considerate men around, it's awesome! I also wrote a letter to my birth-aunt, Juliette. I have never had contact with her before, even though I have had her address for a while, I just never got around to writing her. For those of you who don't know, quick rundown: I was put up for adoption when I was about 4 months old. I just found out who my birthmother was a few months ago. She is dead, she was murdered very brutally by some serial killer cop named Dale Anderson back in 1986. I have one other known blood relative, which is my mother's sister, Juliette. So, we will see what Juliette says, if she writes back. I thought it would be nice to try and connect with her. I have a picture of Juliette, actually, from a yearbook back in the day when she was a sophomore in high school. I think I look like her a lot, same dimples, same smirk. And the other very amusing thing that happened to me this morning was that I was trying to microwave something and I guess I put it in for too long because the apartment filled up with smoke and horrible smells and needless to say the food got completely burnt. I was making nachos with the flax soy chips. So maybe the gods were trying to tell me it was too early in the morning for nachos (it was probably about 9:30). But yeah! That was great! I was choking on the smoke and hurriedly threw open every door and window in the place.... And there's my neighbor Jose on the phone outside and he's telling whomever he's talking to about what just happened over here because I come out all coughing and sputtering and there's total smoke pouring out into the atrium of the complex. He's laughing at me and I tell him what happened and he thinks it's all very funny. It is sorta funny. I just think it totally STINKS in here now! I have been burning and will continue to burn sage until the sage overtakes the other smell... man! What a maroon! Zen: I mean I was glad I kept HIM in check, not myself. I just regulated his butt and I was happy because I don't often give orders to men like that but I had seriously had it and he needed to make a decision which way he was going to go with stuff because I straight up told him I would put him out into the pouring rain and he could figure out what to do from there because I have no tolerance for obnoxious drunks that can't keep their traps closed. I don't care how cute they are. I will put Seth Green himself out in the rain if he is being an obnoxious drunk. |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh geez man, i am peeing like a racehorse! I think I am ovulating. (Did you know that when the ovary releases an egg, the empty sac releases a hormone that is a diuretic? It's true!) It's about that time, Day 14, so it's right on schedule. I can always tell when I am ovulating because I am ALWAYS in the bathroom. Man! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, so like I am super proud of myself! I had Thanksgiving dinner and I kept it to about 521 calories. I have heard that the average Thanksgiving dinner packs about 3K, so I am very glad that I kept mine so low. This is what I had: -2 oz. steak with au jus -green beans with au jus -glass of chardonnay -some pecans I passed up yams, baked potatoes, margarine, rolls, candied apples, pumpkin pie, and cranberry cream cheese jello. YAY!!!!! While my Mom was sitting there complaining that she should have worn bigger pants, I got to sit on my high horse and think HA!!!! it was awesome |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Terabyte wrote: (Did you know that when the ovary releases an egg, the empty sac releases a hormone that is a diuretic? It's true!) I had no idea, I'll have to watch for this next time! Weigh ins should be on day 15. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Hey, glad you are back. I have been reading up in your diary, but haven't had a chance to reply yet. Busy thanksgiving stuff. Anyway, about the consort that drank to much, Wow, can I relate to that. Went to a party last night, didn't really know anyone, so I drank and drank, and ate, and ate. You get the picture. But, you know, I really think it was nerves. If your consort was nervous at all about the date, that may be why he over did it. So, I am glad you cut him some slack. Sounds like he really likes you. I just keep thinking that in the long run, you are going to break that poor guys heart, lol. He seems anxious and you seem grounded and know what you want. I don't know, does that make sense. Anyway, that's your deal, have fun with it. Oh and about the him being cute thing. Yea, that does help to a point, my guess is, that if he continues to do stupid things, then the cuteness will wear off, lol. I think your plan for getting back on track is a good plan also. Doing what worked for you before, will definitely help you get back to square one.... Oh yea, it is very boring on here when I don't get to read in your diary. You have so much going on in your life and in your head (no offense intended), that I really look forward to reading your diary..... Anyway, good luck with the new or old plan, which ever it was....lol |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Oh yea, almost forgot, I am glad you finally made time to write to your aunt. I think it is good to get to know some of your relatives. I was brought up in a kind of weird way of thinking. My family instilled in me that your family is your family and you will always have them no matter what, good or bad, lol. So, if you get more family then that is just all the better. Plus, you may find out some really cool things about your mom that you didn't know. Like things her and her sister use to do together, stuff like that. May even open your eyes some on how you go about doing things, or the way you think and stuff. Anyway, I think it's all a good thing. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Cindy: Yeah--I am really happy I wrote to her. She should get the letter by Monday, so I am hoping to hear from her next week. I also showed the pictures of her and my birthmom to my family yesterday at TG, so that was nice to be able to share that with them. Even my Dad participated in it, and he has generally had a lot of trouble with talking about my birth family, he likes to pretend that I was born to him and my Mom. I think it actually helps though that my birthmom is dead and he doesn't have to worry about her taking my Mom Mom's place (you know, Mary, my adoptive mom, the only one I have known...) The scale this morning had VERY good news for me! Down over 3 pounds since yesterday, for a weigh-in of 149.8! I am telling you, the no white carbs thing paired with MUFAs is a miracle worker! I am definitely going to keep doing that! Wow! Amazing! I am not sure if I will get down to 147 this week. I guess we'll see. That's about 3 pounds in 2 days. It IS possible! I have done it before! My friend C. is supposed to take me out to dinner tonight, so I have to think about eating something that is pretty low-calorie. I am trying to even think about what is around here.... maybe some sort of salad or veggie plate or something. I'll have to put some good thought into it. Sometimes I actually really hate going out to eat because it's hard to get something low-calorie. I would rather just have some wine and cheese and apples at home where I control everything. You know? Actually, let me rephrase that--I don't like going out for DINNER. Because by the time dinnertime rolls around, I have usually used up most of my calories for the day, you know? And then, you have to order something that is like 300 - 400 calories and that's sorta hard. Around the middle of the day is usually when I eat the most, so my lunches are generally around 600 - 700, which is a lot easier to manage, you know? So, I guess we'll see.. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Jesus, what a cochina. Went out to eat with good old C. and then overate by probably about 800 calories SURPLUS (that is above what I burned). Doh! At least I didn't eat any white carbs. And I also woke up with a killer KILLER sore throat today---oh GOD it hurts!---so I doubt I will be compelled to eat much today, so at least that's good. I can use today to even out yesterday. Sneaky-Smooth is supposed to come by with some movies to entertain me with. I already told him I wasn't feeling well and my throat hurt really bad. I told him I coudn't talk, so I will probably just text him or something when I want to tell him something when he is here. He said that was fine, and said he found it amusing. But seriously, when your throat hurts, you really don't want to talk, you know? sheeeshh!!!!! Oh man. And I am so lazy, I need to take some steps toward getting ready. Maybe I can go floss, that would be a nice start. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Phew, okay, now I am showered and refreshed. I did my meditation, saged the apartment, myself, and some other items that needed saging, and now Sneaky-Smooth is on his way over. He is going to show me his favorite movie--12 angry men. I have never seen this movie. I am excited to see it. :) I still feel kinda under the weather but that's ok. I have 505 calories left that I can have for the day, but it doesn't mean I HAVE to have them. |
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Terabyte New Member
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YES! I did it! I stayed at 1200 calories yesterday. WOO HOO! And I was rewarded with a fine drop in the scale numbers this morning, weighing in at 149.6. The lowest I have ever weighed since I started this was 147.4, so my goal for this week is to hit 147 even (or lower of course). Had a good time with Sneaky-Smooth yesterday. He did not bring over 12 angry men because it was on his laptop and he couldn't find his adaptor, so oh well. But it was fun anyway. We actually read part of this book together, Be Here Now by Ram Dass. Very interesting stuff. I am going to continue reading it today a bit more before I go out. I am going out again to that free party they throw on Sunset every Sunday. I am going with my top advisor consort who is due over here any minute, so I really want to get in some reading before he gets here. I have gotten in the habit of taking myself outside of time. I had done it before and really enjoyed it, but then I got out of the habit. But basically being outside of time means that you cover or turn around all your clocks and take the time feature off your cell phone, so you never really know what time it is. Like i don't know what time I went to bed last night nor do i know what time I woke up this morning. It's pretty cool. I mean yes I do have one cell phone, my work phone, that tells the time, and I use that with an alarm set on it so that I don't miss work-related appointments, but other than that, I like not knowing what time it is. I had an interesting thought this morning--not sure if I can explain it really well, but I think it was inspired by that Baba Ram Dass book. But anyway, I was walking from room to room getting ready for the day and I thought to myself that every moment we have is truly unique. Like, even if we were to pace back and forth across a room, the path that we travel isn't even the same path back and forth because our cells are continuously degrading and then replacing themselves and our consciousness is constantly shifting. So it could actually be said that it IS a slightly different person that walked into the kitchen than that walked out of it. That the path is continuously unfurling and we are never in the same place twice because we are in a constant state of flux both physically and mentally. I thought that was really interesting and cool. It gave me a sense of peace and surreality to think that. Good times, good times! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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You know thats funny that you say that about the time thing. Reminds me of when we go up north. Nobody up there knows what time it is, nor do they care. It's really kind of nice and relaxing when we are there. Cause time is not a factor, it's just do as you please when you please. You must be feeling better, I didn't here you complain once about being under the weather. Anyway, congrats on the scale reading. It's always nice to see results for our efforts. |
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zenobia Moderator
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i wrote you this great post... and my stupid mouse ate it... anyway. the whole concept of neglecting time (and i use that word on purpose) is really cool to me. by nature, i am not a clock watcher- i was turned into one once upon a time (but i will save that for later). so any efforts to not be a slave to the ticking moments feels right to me. i think it lets you get more.... in tune... it's neat that you write about the singular moments. i've actually been thinking about that idea.. what you worte, to me, it translates into focusing on the "now". each moment is quite differnt. what we think is routine is actually the furthest thing from it... it's a wholenew action and our thoughts are new intterpretations. all of these little changes within us aren't really noticed, but the do add up. we only notice them when the equation comes out to be something entirly different and somewhat... removed... lol- it's like we weren't paying attention to the time that had elapsed. neat. anyway, hope that makes sense. i still see circles in it. and i would tell you to have a good time tonight, but i gather that you are the sort of person htat always has a good time, in your own way |
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Terabyte New Member
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Yeah, I totally forgot I was sick that one day Cindy! LOL! I woke up feeling totally great the next day. That is funny that you had to remind me that I was sick! But it's funny AND great! I gargled with apple cider vinegar a bunch on the day my throat started hurting. About 4 - 5 times throughout the day. I got that from my Jamaican room-mate, he's all into home remedies for everything. Basically the acid in the apple cider vinegar completely kills whatever the bug is in your throat and I have wiped out strep with it in about 36 hours, and mind you that's without antibiotics or anything. I would highly recommend it! You just gargle with it and either spit it out or swallow it. You CAN dilute it, but I just do it straight up. If you do swallow it in about 2 - 3 seconds after you swallow it you feel really hot and your face gets red for a second but then you're fine. It feels kind of neat if you like intense sensations! Anyway, yes the party yesterday was great and my top advisor consort was totally cool and attentive and we had a great time. He gave me a really nice compliment while we were out, telling me that I really lit up a room and made everyone feel comfortable. I thought that was really cool. I hope I make people feel comfortable since being a social worker is my profession! Another interesting thing that happened yesterday, and made me think---I was ordering some sage and incense from this website called The Magick Moon, and when I went to fill out my address, the default addy was in Belleville, illinois. Now what is so weird about that is that that is the place where my mother's body was found. I unexpectedly got choked up when I saw that and then a few tears formed. I found out about my birthmother's murder a while ago, but it always felt sort of surreal, it hadn't really hit me. I have been told that I have an "incubation period" wherein I learn about something and I don't have a reaction until later on down the line instead of an immediate reaction. But it really just made me really sad to think of that poor young woman, the woman who gave me life, having such a hard life. I mean, she was abused by her family (and word is that my father is probably also my grandfather, so do the math and you can see that she had a rough life) and then had such a hard life afterwards, ending up being strangled and mutilated by some crazy cop. I looked at a picture of her that I have and I thought WOW, such horrible things to happen to somebody. And for no real rhyme or reason.... The woman who knew my birthmother said that once she found out she was pregnant, she was very happy. She said that she wanted to give her baby a great life, that they were going to be a great team. And while I did end up having a great life, thanks to Santa Clara County Social Services and my wonderful adoptive family, I never did get to be a team with my birthmother and she met with such a bad end herself after so much suffering while she was alive. I feel so lucky that things turned out for me so well. When I passed my LCSW exam (part one) I remember thinking that my birthmother would have been proud. And it also made me think wow, I am in the profession that helps people who were not only like ME with moms who can't take care of them, but also for people like my MOM who had horrible, abusive families. And I picked this profession without knowing any of that stuff about her. Anyway, it was a very deep and powerful feeling that I felt when I saw that Belleville Illinois But I guess all in all it was a good and grateful feeling but also with a feeling of sadness and loss for my birthmother. I hope in some way or other she is at peace and can feel proud that her daughter is having the life she wanted for her.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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LOL! Attached Image (viewed 175 times): |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Wow, what a mood switch. You go from talking all deep and stuff, to a funny picture, lol. That's what I like about you. Anyway, yea, I have heard great things about the apple cider vinegar, but have never tried it. I remember reading about it on the internet somewhere. Next time we get the sore throat thing, I think I will give it a try... Glad your all better and didn't have to stress about it. |
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Terabyte New Member
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well, i don't really dwell too long on things, my mind is like a hummingbird, going from one thought-flower to the next. And speaking of thought-flowers, I need to do my morning meditation. I SKIPPED MY EVENING MEDITATION LAST NIGHT! ARGH! But I thought that picture was TOO funny! It had me laughing for a really long time! |
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Terabyte New Member
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ahhh, wow that felt great! I just did like 10 minutes of free form yoga combined with resistance aspects and it feels SUPER! I would highly recommend it. I wonder how many calories that burned.... let me go see... 24 calories, not bad! And it felt so good. I have always been a fan of the slow, controlled movement, exercises, like yoga, tai chi, doing resistance exercises really slow. It makes me feel like a machine, but like a divine machine. very cool! Well, I gotta get off to work. I feel fantastic! I just told my ethereal consort about the frog squats. He says he is going to start doing them. I am so glad you showed me that, Dani, I really dig them a lot. |
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wolfmonk New Member
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Following your fine example I've been trying to do meditation (breathing meditation) in the evenings - just concentrating on my breath - but I don't think I'm having much luck. I can't get my mind to STF Up. Blah blah blah - it goes on and on. And then starts again. It is pretty cool that you picked the career that you did - I'll bet your birth mother would be proud that you're helping people - I'll bet your adoptive parents are too! |
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Terabyte New Member
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It is hard to get your mind to stop chattering, but that's normal. Whenever you notice your mind start to wander, just gently come back to focusing on your breathing. Sometimes it helps to have a mantra too that you repeat, something simple and affirming like i am relaxed i am happy life is beautiful or whatever, and to actually speak it loud, that helps to keep your mind at least focused on a sinfular point instead of darting around. But yeah, it took me a while, probably a good year or more before I felt like I was able to calm my mind! so don't give up, just keep doing it! it feels good, and it's relaxing, it's like a nice little mental vacation. |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Terabyte wrote: But I guess all in all it was a good and grateful feeling but also with a feeling of sadness and loss for my birthmother. I hope in some way or other she is at peace and can feel proud that her daughter is having the life she wanted for her.... I am sure she would be proud of what you've achieved and that fact that you are a strong, confident, and successful woman. It would be what she wanted for you. |
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Terabyte New Member
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thank you, molly that was sweet, and yeah, I think so. I mean, that's what most every mother wants for her children, I think! (unless she's bananas!) |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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I have to laugh when I read this! About 2 pages of posts on Straylights diary, but none of them are from Straylight! Ha Ha! Wonder where she is anyhow..... |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Haha, Danimae.... Terabyte is Straylight... she just changed her name That would have been very funny though |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Ok, going to try this again. I wrote you a nice post and then it was gone.....ugh! Anyway, I was asking you about meditation. I am thinking about doing that and was wondering what it is that you do or any advise on it, before I start this thing. Of course my first post was much longer, but this pretty much sums up what I wanted to know, lol. So, let me know what you think.... |
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zenobia Moderator
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hey cport- i'm considering going along the same path! if i find anything, i'll share, if you do the same! |
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DaniMae1 Distinguished Member
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Well that explains a lot! |
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wolfmonk New Member
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Yea, I wonder what she is off doing now. Maybe she got a new consort, that swept her off her feet and whisked her off to fairly land. lol #%@&!, who knows, she's probably just busy working or something. |
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Terabyte New Member
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If you are looking to start meditating, I can just tell you what has worked for me. Set aside a time, a fairly short time, like five minutes to begin with and just pick a position that you think is comfortable--lying on your back, on your stomach, the lotus position, whatever you like--and set an alarm. You will gradually increase your time in little increments, but most people can do 5 minutes in the beginning. Remember to close your eyes when you are meditating. A good place to start is just by focusing on your breath. Take a few really deep breaths to clear yourself when you first start and then just breathe and concentrate on your breathing. It is almost surely inevitable that you will find your mind starting to wander, random thoughts will come, you might find yourself starting to worry or plan or just plain mind-chatter will occur. This is TOTALLY NORMAL and bound to happen. As soon as you notice it happening, just bring your mind back to your breathing. If it wanders off again, like it will, just keep bringing it back. And bring it back nicely, don't scold yourself, just notice that your mind is wandering and nicely and gently bring it back to your breathing. It is helpful to sometimes imagine yourself breathing in all sorts of goodness and energy and then with your out breath, imagine dispersing all that goodness and energy throughout your body. I would say to start out with that. Then, when the alarm goes off, exhale and open your eyes. I always feel like I am returning from somewhere when I exhale and open my eyes. It feels good. Perhaps you will experience this feeling too, but if you don't, it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean it didn't work. The best time to do meditation is in the morning, because it will set your mind for the day. It is also good to do it in the evening too, but if you can only do it once, do it in the morning. Do the five minute meditation for a while, maybe a week, and then you will find that it gets easier and easier. Just make sure you consistently do it daily. (Also, starting with five minutes makes your more likely to stick to it because five minutes is a very short, manageable amount of time). Then, go ahead and add a minute onto your time, so you'll then be doing six minutes. *note*** sometimes I have noticed that when you are in the lotus position and you are meditating, you will feel like you are slowly swaying. This happens to a lot of people, and if it happens to you, just relax and don't fight it. I like it, I think it feels like I am floating in water. Any movement that your body wants to do involuntarily while you are meditating, just let the body do it. It will feel good. As long as you don't freak out or get scared about it. I don't know what causes it, but I have heard lots of meditators that it happens. Some people say it has to do with being locked into Shakti energy (which is supposedly a goddess that resides at the base of our spines) and some people say it has to do with getting in the groove of the ebb and flow of energy all around us, and some people say it has to do with what your muscles naturally do when your mind is relaxed, and still others say they have no idea what it is. I mean really we don't have any idea what is, we are all just guessing. But the main point is to go with it if it happens. And if it DOESN'T happen, it doesn't mean you aren't doing the meditation right or you aren't going as deep or whatever. It doesn't happen to everyone. |
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Terabyte New Member
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I just did a 5-minute breathing meditation (because it's been a while since I have done that duration and that focus) just to see what it was like again and so I could experience the act I am advising, and it feels REALLY good! I felt a little smirky smile on my face the whole time, and it was amazing. I felt compelled to say a few statements, so I did. They were simple. So, my advice is, if you feel compelled to speak while you are meditating, do it! What I felt like saying was things like this feels perfect everything is perfect i have everything i am surrounded by love this feels fantastic (and so forth) It felt good to say it! So if you feel moved to say something positive and affirming while you are meditating, go for it. Then I had this major urge to do this one exercise right afterward, so I went with it, and that felt great too. I don't know if I have mentioned this exercise before, but it's a total godsend, because it is a total-body resistance training exercise, and it's really easy to do... what you do is, take a dumbbell, nothing too heavy, something manageable, and lie down, holding the dumbbell up in the air in a perpendicular line to your body lying flat on the ground. Then, keeping your arm outstretched, holding the dumbbell at about a right angle to body the whole time, just get up from lying down and stand up and then get back down into lying down again. Then switch the dumbbell to the other hand and do it again. Then switch it back and do it again. (I did 13 reps). I don't know what the exercise is called, my friend's trainer recommended it to him, and my friend taught it to me. I just love it because it works out everything--upper body, lower body, and core in ONE exercise. Lots of results for the time you put in. Straight economics! Gotta love it! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Hey Thanks, Straylight. You know that is just what I did. I just tried to focus on my breathing and when my mind would wonder, I would start to concentrate on my breathing again. When I did the lotus position, I did the swaying thing. I thought I was falling asleep and it kind of startled me. Then I had to start all over again, cause I totally lost focus. Oh, and the eyes, I thought you were suppose to keep them open. Which I struggled with allot. So, glad to know I don't have to do that. I also wouldn't mind trying some sort of yoga/meditation. I get so relaxed when I am doing the stretches with richard at the end of one of my tapes. So, I think I could really get into that. Anyway, glad you stopped in to hand me some advise.... |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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So, I guess your not coming on here anymore...  What a bummer... |
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Terabyte New Member
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No, i am still coming on here, but about 4 days out of the week, I am at my Loma Linda house and I don't have Internet access there. I also don't like to post on this site at work, so my time here has been cut in a little more than half. But I still do come on reguarly, just not as much. Thanks for missing me though! That's a great new pic by the way, Cindy, you look super-fine! 20 years younger than that last pic! Seriously! My eating has been fantastic these last few days (since Monday, basically). I went back to cutting out white carbs after, shall we say, indulging in them WAY too much, and it has been great! I can't believe I ever went back on them. I feel SO MUCH BETTER when I am not eating white carbs. It is absolutely amazing the change in mood I feel. I mean, seriously, literally, I feel like I am on some premium drugs or something, just super happy, super energetic, with this underlying calm contentedeness running through everything. I think I said one time earlier on here that it's sort of like being on Ecstacy and Vicodin but with none of the bad side/after effects. It's great! This surely must be what people talk about when they speak of "natural highs." And besides my mood, my body has been thanking me with nice results. I have a pair of work pants that are really starting to get loose now, and that feels good! I think they are a size 9... so i am probably about ready for a size 8! Oh yes, and I have also been making sure I have a MUFA with every meal. Yesterday at work I was really proud of myself too, because our office won a free lunch from Mi Tortilla, which is a Mexican place, and these huge platters of quesadilla and nachos were brought in. Everyone indulged in the food except for me. Believe me, brothers and sisters, I felt tempted but I was able to resist and just think about how good I had been for the last few days, how much I didn't want to ruin it, and I did not have one nacho or one bite of quesadilla. YAY!!!!! That felt really good! Let's see, what else has happened in the last few days that is noteworthy.... well, I have a cool exciting date with my top advisor consort tonight. Probably going to drink lots of wine, so I need to make sure I take that into consideration when I eat throughout the day today. I also have another date with the Blue-Eyed Jew on Sunday, which is my free food day, so I am thinking we can go to a nice, classy, romantic Italian place by my house. Or Japanese... MMMMM... tempura (homer drool). On Saturday, I am going to a Christmas party that my friend is throwing, so again, probably lots of wine there too. (I learned my lesson with vodka the LAST time I was over at my friend's house. I probably won't touch any more vodka. I think I developed an aversion to it after that experience. Well, straight vodka anyway, not in a mixed drink. Actually, now that I think about it, the sickest I ever got from drinking was always from vodka...) Work is going great, too. I got two new girls on my caseload this week, a shy little Latina girl who is 7 and a very talkative and hilarious White chick who is 15. It is great to be back just doing work with the kids and families and not having to worry about marketing and recruitment. Hooray! The Loma Linda housing arrangement is working out pretty good with the Jamaican shaman. He has made it clear that he is really attracted to me, so I am trying to make sure I don't let anything get out-of-hand because he is basically my room-mate and I don't want him to get any ideas or think that our arrangement is going to get romantic because it NEVER WILL, I know better than to start screwing around with a room-mate and plus on top of all that, I am so TOTALLY not sexually attracted to him at all, really the thought of being intimate with him or even kissing him gives me the dry heaves, lol. I have been doing bits of strength training and yoga throughout my day, it feels good to do it like that, in small increments I think. There is a certain focus and clarity of mind that comes when you are exercising, it actually is sort of like zennish meditation because you are so focused on a main point and physical sensations . I like to bring my mind back to that throughout the day. Also, I am more likely to exercise daily when I do small bits of exercise scattered throughout the day than to have one larger workout, because the little bits are so easy to just do quickly and take a break from work or whatever, but if it's all condensed it seems more daunting and then I am more likely to skip it. And speaking of little bits of exercise, I am feeling the urge to do some frog squats right now! Whew! Those felt good. 7 of them. Sheesh, I really need to do them every day, I lose strength if I go too long between them. I know that people say you can't work muscle groups every day, but I have noticed that if I do, I build up strength quickly. So maybe my muscles are an aomoly. And speaking of resistance training, I can now do 6 regular push-ups! This is great! I used to barely be able to do one! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Thanks about the pic. That was nice to hear. And Yes! I am glad you are back. I really enjoy reading your diary. Plus, your so upbeat, you always put me in a good mood. I'm glad your living arrangement is working out, but sad you don't get to come here very often anymore. Although you didn't miss much. I think the only thing that's been going on here, is this one person getting banned from the site. Some chick, I guess. lol, I thought it was a man. But, anyway, she was on here getting everyone all worked up. Nir sent her away. Otherwise, it's been the same old, same old. Well, got to go, I am doing Christmans Decorations today... |
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Terabyte New Member
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yes, i just got back from getting my nails done. They are bright blue. Who was it that got banned? That one person that said everyone should be a fat glutton? |
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MidgeH Distinguished Member
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I love primary colros for nails. Maybe the person was banned, maybe not. My thought is that it was the same person as the gluttony person (same cant, same #%@&!ry way of speaking to people, new divisive tactic) just under a new name. Looks like they might still be here. I avoid it because it just harshes my mellow (throw out to you s.cal girl!). Last edited on 12 December 2008 07:01 pm by MidgeH |
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Terabyte New Member
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haha, harshes my mellow, that's hilarious! I actually have never heard that one before, but I like it. I have said you're harshing my buzz that's a good one too anyway, my date with my top advisor consort went really well, was lots of fun, felt pretty far out the whole time. And THIS is hilarious, check this out: There was this dude that I had like 3 dates with that I decided I really didn't like and didn't want to keep seeing, so I told him so last weekend. And then sometime during the week last week, he texts me and says "are we still friends?" So I just replied "yes" and left it at that. I mean, I don't hate the guy, I just definitely don't want to go on another date with him. So, he texted me back a few more times that night, but I ignored his texts because I was busy hanging out with the shaman and also keeping up with my other consorts, my family, chickfriends, etc. So anyway, on Friday during the day, he texts me and he says "let's do something fun tonight." And I reply back that I have a date and that I can't. And so then I go on my date and i don't check my phone for the rest of the night because I am on a date and also, generally I always keep my phone on silent and then I check my messages when I want to. That way nothing interrupts my immediate experience, not even the ring or the vibrate buzzz or whatever, right. So, the next morning, I check my phone and I see that I have a missed call from this dude at about 11:00pm from the night before and he has also sent me a text around 9:00am asking me if I am awake. I don't return any communications from him because I am still on my date and then in the middle of the day, I check my phone again and I have another missed call from him around noon. So, I text him and I tell him that my date has been extended and I won't be seeing him today and I also tell him I have another date tomorrow so I won't see him this weekend at all. And then he texts back (and this is the super hilarious part ladies and gentlemen...) this really long text that says "oh yeah well I have had two dates too since Friday, and as a matter of fact I am sitting on her couch right now, and she is beautiful and she gives me lots of kisses and she is going to help me get my clothing line off the ground, so I don't care that you can't see me this weekend." LOL!!!! RIGHT!!! If you were on such a hot date with some chick who is all over you, then how is it that you have the time OR even the desire to call me and text me all through the day and night? It was awesome. I just thought man! if you're going to lie and try to be smooth, you need to make it BELIEVABLE. Sheesh! He needs lessons! In other news, my date with the Blue-Eyed Jew was also very fun yesterday. He was looking superfly and we had a really fun time. He gives a good back massage (lol, and a good front massage too!) And yesterday was my free day, and I definitely enjoyed myself after a week of no white carbs (well 6 days more like...) I had pizza and ice cream and chips and a candy bar and some green tea. But it's back to no carbs today, and I already finished my breakfast of raw almonds (120 calories). I invented this avocando cheese dish that is absolutely delish so I think I am going to have that for lunch once I get to the office. It's raining a lot here, so I have to leave superearly for the office to make sure I have enough time to drive slowly and carefully. (The commute is usually about 70 minutes from my hollywood home, so I think I am going to give myself at least 2 hours just to be on the safe side!) |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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lol, that is funny about the ex consort. You would of thought he could of come up with something better than that. Well, maybe he will lay off the text/calling thing now. |
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Terabyte New Member
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no way, i want him to keep making a fool out of himself for my entertainment and the entertainment of all my friends here at CPH. I thought about sending him a text that says "well seth green and zac chia are over here having a fistfight over who gets to massage my feet. They already knocked out Gael Garcia Bernal." AND Pedro Aldomovar called this morning and told me that he thinks I am turning him straight. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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lol, shame on you.... |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Everytime I look your diary grows another page! For some reason that little arrow that marks when your page has been added to wasn't working, so I haven't read up on you in a while. Looks like you're doin well though! I couldn't find your weight anywhere, but I see you can do 6 push-ups! That's great! You've multiplied your strength by 6! |
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Terabyte New Member
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My weight has been hanging out around 150 and my body fat around 32%, but my clothes are fitting much looser so that's what I am going by. My workpants today are REALLY starting to get baggy-saggy so that's awesome! Today, I did eat some white carbs, but I have about 1540 in which I know is a good deficit. I can now also do 7 push-ups, so I am very proud of that, and I can hold an inversion for 7 breaths, which is also great. I need to get back on track with my frog squats though, I think I can do about 10. Actually, let me check right now...okay, so it's 11. woo hoo! I do like entering stuff on fitday and seeing how big my deficit is, that is always fun. Today I ate the following 1) one key lime cookie from Starbucks, 26 calories 2) one twinkie, 150 calories 3) one mushroom swiss burger, 710 calories 4) one regular order of french fries with tapatio sauce, 400 calories 5) a small glass of red wine, 100 calories 6) one cup of black tea, 0 calories 7) handful of raw almonds, 120 calories I didn't eat much fruit/veggies, the only ones I had were the ones on the burger (lettice, tomato). I need to make sure I eat more fruits/veggies tomorrow. Oh, does wine count as a fruit? lol, probably not!!! But that is still a good deficit. I am interested to see how big a one it is.... let me see.... okay, about a 330 deficit. Pretty sweet! |
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StuckSara Distinguished Member
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Oh that's awesome! I love when my pants get loose. But then it looks like I dropped a load in them! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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I agree, nothing like having saggy pants, to boost your ego... |
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Terabyte New Member
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haha, you girls are funny! It does sorta look like I dropped a load in them I guess but it's definitely worth it to know that I have shrunk that much, you know? It's a good trade-off, I think! I have decided that I am going to go shopping for new clothes once I have built up a calorie deficit of 17,500 calories (that comes out to 5 pounds lost). I am going by a calorie deficit because I do resistance training and my actual scale weight might not drop even with this deficit since I am putting on muscle. And I KNOW my stupid scale is supposed to measure body fat too, but I seriously don't think it's accurate because it has shown me at the same weight and body fat for a month or so now but my clothes fit totally differently than they did a month ago. So I am just going to go with the straight biomath and reward myself with new clothes once I have the 17.5K deficit. Starting yesterday, I had a deficit of about 300. So, I have 17,200 calories to go! BUT!!! IF the scale does drop to 145 lbs before I have completed the deficit, I will count that as well. So, it's basically, the biomath result or the scale result, whichever comes first. :) And at least for right now, I am not going to do the no-white-carb thing. I am going to eat white carbs when I want to. And I am just going to make sure I have a deficit every day. So I won't have any "free days" or "strict days" or whatever. I will just eat what I want, paying attention to healthy foods (but not restricting myself to only healthy foods) and I will make sure I have a deficit every day. That's the new plan! I weighed myself this morning too and it said 150.8, which is not really much of a change. Like I said, it's bounced around between 149 - 154 for the last month. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, so for yesterday, I had about 1685 calories in and 1995 calories out for a deficit of 320. Add that to my deficit of 300 yesterday for a total deficit of 620 calories in two days. This leaves a deficit of 16,880 before I can go buy more clothes. Woo hoo! Now, the scale this morning said that I weighed 150.2, with a body fat percentage of 32%. That is a drop in total weight of .6 pounds since yesterday, with a drop in fat weight of .8 pounds, so that is looking pretty good as well. The biomath AND the raw numbers are good today! Yay! Now yesterday, this is what I had to eat: - two cups of green tea, 0 calories -one cherry cordial candy, 75 calories -Chicken Katsu Mini-Meal from Ono Hawaiian Barbecue that included breaded fried chicken, macaroni salad, rice, and cabbage with red rooster sauce, 1300 calories -some Cinnamon toast crunch cereal, dry, 130 calories -two green olives, 40 calories Today is the office lunch (that we pay for ourselves for christ's sake, how stupid) at Claim Jumper, so I will have to work on controlling myself there! Everything there is pretty high calorie, I am thinking I should probably have a salad, which is still going to be higher in calories, but I need the roughage, I haven't been eating too many fruits or veggies the past two days, just the cabbage in lunch yesterday, that was it!!!! But I WAS very good at the office Christmas party we had, there was tons of cookies, chips, fried chicken, deviled eggs, hot chocolate, etc., and all I had was the one cherry cordial, so I was pretty pleased with my restraint, because I could have easily EASILY had a way-big calorie surplus yesterday instead of a deficit! I was also very happy that my top advisor consort invited me over this weekend again. I LOVE his house--he has a pool and Tivo and a sweet balcony and of course, I love his company as well. And I am hanging out with my friend to go see that movie Milk this weekend too, and Sunday there is a free party by my place that I am going to go to with my ninja consort. So, yay! I also think I am going to buy the Wii Fit. My friend is selling one for $370, and I think that will be my Xmas present to myself. Hooray! I will be paying for it on Friday after I gets paid.... :) |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Terabyte wrote: This leaves a deficit of 16,880 before I can go buy more clothes. Woo hoo! I like this way of looking at it! |
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Terabyte New Member
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thanks! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Yea, new cloths are always a motivator. I love to shop, so it always works for me.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, yesterday was a break-even day as far as calories go. 1900 in and out! So, I still need to create a deficit of about 16,880 until I can buy some new clothes. But my clothes are definitely getting way baggy. A comrade of mine who hasn't seen me in a few months commented yesterday that she could really tell I was losing weight because my clothes were so loose. That felt nice! Another comrade of mine told me at the beginning of the week that she could really see a change in my face from the weight I had lost. That was also really cool. Compliments from chicks are especially good because I know for sure they are not trying to get anything out of it. The scale this morning stated that I weighed 149.8 pounds with a body fat of 32.1%. So, that means that in the last two days, I have lost one pound total body weight and .77 pounds of fat weight, at least according to the scale. This is interesting as far as how it matches up with the biomath, which states that I should have lost only .09 pounds of total body weight. Since the scale is showing greater improvement, I am going with that for the day! :) The staff lunch was something we did NOT end up having to pay for ourselves, which is awesome! I was totally expecting to foot the bill for it, because we were told we were going to have to do that due to "budget problems" (seems we are always having these problems!) but the company surprised us very nicely and we ate for free! This is what I ate yesterday: -dry Cinnamon Toast crunch cereal, 165 calories -one green olive, 20 calories -one iced oatmeal cookie, 70 calories -fish and chips lunch from Claim Jumper which included the fish and chips (duh) tartar sauce and coleslaw, 1441 calories -three small pieces of flatbread with feta cheese and bruschutto (sp?) 222 calories -one cup green tea, 0 calories I was happy that I broke even with that big (free!) Claim Jumper lunch. And there were still plenty of baked goods left over from our holiday party two days ago, and all I touched from that was the iced oatmeal cookie. So, hooray! In other news, my housing situation is looking like it is NOT going to be working out. The shaman has been acting more and more like a jerk lately. He always wants me to hang out with him after I get home from work. And mind you, HE doesn't work. His kidneys suck so he is a dialysis patient and he lives off SSI. Now, I realize that my kidneys work great, so it is easy to criticuze him and I am also probably just teed off at him, so I am more critical than I normally would be BUT he has the energy to travel all over the place to have his affairs with his fat, white married sanchas and he also has enough energy to party all day and all night using loads of various substances, sometimes 3 - 4 days at a time nonstop without sleeping, so it's not like he's totally weak and bedridden and all this type of stuff. I just think it's shady that he's mooching off of the government saying he can't work when he totally could work. He might need a part-time job because he DOES have to go to dialysis 2x per week for 4 hours each, but still, he could be doing something. Anyway---I also think it's a little gross that all his girlfriends are married. I mean, I know that's his business and whatnot, but I think it's sort of messed up. I think if people make a promise to someone they should keep it! I mean whatever, people do what they do, but it's a bit distasteful to me. At any rate, it certainly doesn't make him gain any points in my book, you know? And as far as THIS goes, he told me "katie, sometimes you have to accept the love that the universe is offering to you" and to me that basically just translates into, I will have sex with whomever is willing to have it with me which I think is, well, sort of juvenile, like something a 15-year-old boy might say (no offense to 15-year-old boys, but it IS a more adolescent way of thinking) and also, I think it's pretty pathetic that all he can get are fairly unattractive lonely housewives. I mean, if that's what the universe was always offering up to me, I think I would say no thank you and try to to work on something so that the universe offered me something a little bit better! Although I guess probably most cute, single women who are wanting an actual romantic partner probably don't want a jobless, carless dude with major health problems or at least that wouldn't be their first pick. But anyway, that is all backstory to the story I am going to tell you now This is what happened to me: The shaman, who is a friend of mine and has been for about 3.5 years, told me that I was cool to live at his place during the week for $100 a month, paid directly to him. I told him that was fine. I actually was planning on paying him a bit more, not much more, but a bit more, for his hospitality, because he was also cooking me dinner and breakfast. He also frequently requests my transportation services to various placed, which I always provide as well, seeing as how he is helping me out. He told me I could stay in the spare room, which is totally empty. So, I was staying in the spare room, in my sleeping bag, on the floor, which was fine with me. This was working out pretty good, but I started to notice that he would get pouty if I didn't totally spend my evening with him when I came home from work. And then, last week, I was hanging out in his room, listening to some spoken word Terrence McKenna stuff, when my top advisor consort called, and I took the call and then retired to my room for the evening. The NEXT time I went to stay at the shaman's house, which was on Monday evening of this week, when I went to try the door to my room, it was locked. I asked the shaman why it was locked. He said he didn't know, and furthermore, he said he didn't have a key. I asked who did have the key and he said the landlord and i said, "well, did the landlord come and lock the door and were you here when he did it?" and he said "no, but i am gone a lot." and i said, "well what am i supposed to do then, where do i sleep?" and of course I am sure you can all guess what he said, ladies and gentlemen, he says "well, you can sleep in here with me." and I did NOT like that idea because I don't like sleeping in the same bed with dudes that I am not dating, and especially not folks who are supposed to be my room-mate, I was just like EWWhttp://WWW. Seriously, the thought of being intimate with him gives me the dry heaves, I am seriously sexually repelled by him. So I said, no thanks, I think I will sleep on the couch and he said, whatever suit yourself so I did and then two days later, he tells me "look, it doesn't look good with you sleeping on the couch" (look good to who, I have no idea) and i said, well what the #%@&!, I am not going to sleep in there with you and he said well, you have two choices, you can either sleep in the room with me and you can pay the $100 or I can have the landlord unlock that door and you can sleep in there for $600 a month." how do you like THAT? I was livid, super-#%@&!. Shaman, my butt. Holy man, my butt! He is just some disgusting, conniving, mooching, dishonest, snake in the grass. I could probably honestly say that I hate him. I think he is disgusting. And I don't believe for one second that the landlord locked the door. I think HE locked the door, trying to force me to sleep in his room. Well, he is just going to have to be happy with his fat ugly lonely housewives because he will never EVER get one whiff of this. So, keeping my cool and turning on the waterworks, I said look, please don't do this to me, can I please just sleep in that room until the end of the month and then I will figure something else out? I really need your help... so far, he took pity on me and said fine. When I came home from work the next day, the door was miraculously unlocked. So, I am basically taking it one day at a time now. I have two choices now, basically I can either commute from Hollywood to the Redlands office (which is about 70 minutes in the car one way) or I can totally move close to the Redlands office. I think I am going to try the commute and see how I like it before I totally uproot myself and move. Maybe give it a little trial period of who knows, a few weeks, a few months, whatever. And never trust anyone who calls themselves a shaman, lol!!! What a waste of flesh that man is... |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Wow, what an #%@&!. I would of walked right out of there. Seriously, you held your cool well. I think I would of totally went off on him. He more or less is telling you, that you have to sleep with him or pay him, lol. What a dumba.s.s. I would do the commute until something comes up. A new place, maybe a new friend to stay with. Who knows, stuff happens all the time. If it were me, I would never talk to that guy again. But, I am a grudge holder kind of person. lol Anyway, sorry you had to go through that, it will get better.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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yeah, well, i try to use feminine wiles to get what I want and when that doesn't work I use tears. The whole situation is so stupid, and I would like to save the money on the commute for the next few weeks and just stay in Hollywood on the weekends and then come home from work as late as possible and avoid the stupid shaman as much as possible. I have found a place to stay for at least one night next week with my friend Glo, who is really cool, she knows the whole situation (well the whole world knows the situation, as I pretty much broadcast it). So, basically, after the holidays, I will give my work the official hollywood address again and do the commute. Maybe it won't be so bad. I like the radio, and I really don't mind driving. I have an earbud for my phone too so I can talk and drive and that makes the drive be fun and fast-seeming. |
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Terabyte New Member
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awww, this is picture of my birthmom that i just got... Attached Image (viewed 134 times): |
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Terabyte New Member
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she was 18 in that picture, so it was about 9 years before she died... I got a really nice care package from my aunt juliette and my cousin andrea. They sent a bunch of pictures, but this one was the most striking one. I think she was beautiful, and I can definitely see my face there. I sent the picture to my mom mom (adoptive mom) and she said oh yeah, that is your face! even your ears! It is so nice and such a great gift to be able to have contact with my birth family and learn this stuff about my birthmother. And what is so crazy was that I wasn't even really thinking about it, I just got this email one day out of the blue... it's amazing, it makes me so happy! and it's nice to see that my mother was such a costa rican beauty (then again, what 18-year-chick ISN'T hot, right? lol....) |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Oh my, you look allot like her, I think anyway, from the pictures you have posted. I am so happy for you. Glad you got the package. What a special thing to get this time of year. And like I said on that guy situation. You are definitely allot stronger then me. I am one of those that it doesn't matter what my purpose is, I will ruin it, cause of my emotions. I would of told him off and left. Good, for you, that you have control like that. I think that will take you far in life. Cause your not playing anyone else game, your playing your own. If that make sence..... |
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Terabyte New Member
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let me see if i can do a post of two pics to show the resemblance... Attached Image (viewed 132 times): |
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Terabyte New Member
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okay... Attached Image (viewed 133 times): |
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Terabyte New Member
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my mouth has ruined plenty of things for me, trust me, I have learned to count to three sometimes before I say anything. |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Gee, the only difference I see is in the chin, otherwise, it's exact... you look just like her. |
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Terabyte New Member
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all right, well I weighed myself this morning and WOO HOO! The scale says 149 lbs total weight with a body fat of 32% (for a fat weight of 47.68). This means that in the last 3 days, I have lost 1.8 pounds total weight and a fat loss of 1.18 pounds. I had a deficit of about 300, so I don't know how the weight is dropping so fast, but I will take it. So, I have to create a deficit of 16,580 before I can buy new clothes OR I need to lose 4 more pounds, whichever comes first. Yay! Here is what I ate yesterday: -fried egg with butter, 110 calories -seven iced oatmeal cookies, 675 calories -one green olive, 20 calories -organic peanut butter with honey, 320 calories -two cups green tea, 0 calories -one cup chai tea, 0 calories -Fried chicken Ranch BLT sandwich and small fries from McDonald's, 700 calories So, I am really thrilled with the 1.8 pound loss in the last 3 days, that is pretty darn amazing, especially because I have been eating basically whatever I want! I mean, I still control portion size (like I got a small fries instead of the large fries, and I definitely could have eaten 7 more oatmeal cookies), but really honestly, if you look at my food for the last 3 days, there's a lot of indulgent stuff on there. It doesn't read like a woman who is "on a diet" so that is really awesome! And as for exercise, I wouldn't say I really did all that much exercise, I did some push-ups (I can do 8 now), a few weightes squats (regular, not frog), and some overhead presses but that's it! I just walked around the office like usual and to my car and so forth, but didn't really set aside a block of time to exercise. It is almost too easy to lose weight! Seriously! Man, if this trend keeps up, I can lose 4 more pounds in the next 2 weeks. Awesome! Well, actually, if trends keep up exactly, I could lose 4 more pounds in 9 days. Wow!!! Wouldn't that be awesome? Last edited on 20 December 2008 02:06 pm by Terabyte |
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Terabyte New Member
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WOW! Everything's coming up Millhouse and it's only 6:09am! I just checked my finances and my mutual fund went up another 35 bucks after going up 57 bucks yesterday! That's almost a hundred bucks it's earned in just 2 days! AND I got paid from my work like 3 days early for some strange reason. I can't believe it! This is great! I just love when my weight goes down and my funds go up. That is like the perfect inverse relationship! So happy! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Andy Cindy, thank you for saying I look like her. It has been so crazy and good and amazing to have all this info about her and my birthfamily that I never had before. When I got those pictures of her yesterday, I got all choked up, she looks so beautiful and happy in that picture and it was strange in a wonderful way to look at her and see so much of me. I had always wondered who it was that I looked like, and now I have my answer, I look like my mom (who woulda thought! DNA is like that I guess, lol). Again, whenever I think of her, I get a bit sad because of the way she died and all that, but to see that picture of her when she was young and smiling and alive was really powerful. It felt like I was looking into a mirror. And I was talking to my bio aunt last night and it's so funny--her daughter (my cousin who is almost my exact same age just a few months apart) has the same eye issues I have (we both have to get our eyes dilated every year) and she was born 10 weeks early too, like me. I know it's probably funny-sounding to be excited about medical stuff lol but it really feels good to feel like I have all these biological connections with people, really increases a sense of belonging. Don't get me wrong, my adoptive family has always been great, and I mean really super GREAT about being accepting of me and all my quirks and always taking an interest in whatever I was interested in. My Mom (Mary) knew everyone in Guns N Roses when I was 12 and she would always let me play my music in the car and would sing along. She would even take me to the rocky horror picture show when I was young and would stay up all late, until 2am on saturday nights so I could go and have fun and she could watch and make sure nothing untoward happened. Actually, there is a really funny story about that-- now my Mom is super-pretty, blonde with blue eyes and a nice figure, big boobs, etc. A really attractive chick, even now that she's in her 60s, people often mistake her for much younger and she gets a lot of compliments all the time. She's just a really cute woman and probably always will be (don't know where she got that from exactly because honestly her mom, my grandma and all my aunts are nowhere near as cute as my mom but whatever, go figure). Anyway, so when I was going to Rocky Horror, my mom was probably about 40ish and she was even cuter back then, probably looked around 30ish and anyway, she would sit in the back, away from me so I could feel unfettered and not sitting with my mom and also so she could see the whole theater and keep an eye on what was going on and this dude named jeff, this goth dude who was in his mid-20s at the time would always sit by my mom the whole time and would hang out with her every time she went. My Mom was very open about the fact that she was my mom and she was happily married and all this, she's definitely not the type to cheat, but this guy Jeff was just really into her and it was obvious! I mean, he stuck to her like glue every time she went and I remember telling her you know that guy likes you, he is SO into you! and my mom would say oh please, I am an old lady to him. I am sure he likes YOU and he's just trying to get in good with me and I said yeah right, that's why he NEVER talks to me and is always up your butt the entire time but my mom said she thought that was ridiculous, she was a married mother, what would a 24-year goth guy want with her and i thought dude! 24-year-old goth guys don't think oh she's a mother and she's married. They're GUYS, they just see a hot chick they like and they want to talk to her! And if she's nice and friendly and talks with them, they think it's great and want to further the relationship! So anyway, her and Jeff got to know each other pretty well because I went to Rocky Horror probably about twice a month for at least 6 months and there they were, always in the back row chatting and laughing like two peas in a pod. And then one day, my family was out to dinner and Jeff happened to walk in the restaurant, looking all goth with his make-up and superdark hair and trenchcoat and what not, and he sees my mom and his handsome goth face gets this huge smile and his eyes light up and he says MARY!!!! and he comes over and gives her a big hug and kiss on the cheek. My Mom hugs him back and introduces the family but Jeff is hardly paying attention ,he doesn't care about my dad or brother or me, he is just staring at my mom with this goofy smile on his face. So then he leaves and my dad is sitting there perturbed and he says well who the h.ell was that? and my mom says oh that's jeff, he's one of katie's friends katie's friend? my dad says, he seems more like your friend and my mom said oh please, he's one of katie's friends from Rocky and my Dad looked REALLY doubtful. it was hilarious! To this day my mom doesn't think jeff was interested in her but it was so obvious you could see it from space.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Oh my god, what a maroon--I overate SO much yesterday, I had a surplus of 1700 calories. YIKES! Resulting in a FIVE POUND WEIGHT GAIN THIS MORNING. Jesus, Mary, and Jospeh, what was I thinking? Man, I suXor! Oh well, can't go back, as my Catalina Island friend always says, so in light of that, I now have to lose 9 freaking pounds or create a deficit of 18,280, whichever comes first. Doh! |
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lastten New Member
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I was wondering if you added calories when things just look too yummy. I love your idea...I don't know if I have the patience to count calories for that long...I make it a couple days and then I "forget" lol. Those 5lbs are probably all water and salt and will come off quickly! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Hey, cut yourself some slack, it is the holidays. You'll get back on track and lose that in no time... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, well today my scale weight was down to 152.4 so that made me feel a little bit better, and I have a decent deficit today, somewhere around 226 and counting. My goal is to lose a significant amount of weight by the beginning of march. I have an important trip planned with my ethereal consort and I want to look super-good. I don't know how much weight I want to lose, anywhere from 10 - 20 pounds would be great. That's doable, I think, in about 2.5 months. Here is what I ate today: -2 peanut butter cookies, 76 calories each -3 cups of green tea, 0 calories -2 chicken strips, 200 calories -ranch dressing for dipping, 200 calories -small order french fries, 400 calories -one piece peanut butter fudge, 192 calories -one oreo, 80 calories -2 olives, 40 calories -peanut butter and honey, 300 calories For exercise, I just did some frog squats, that's it. My arms are really sore from something though, although I can't think of what it might be... I did some push-ups yesterday, but that shouldn't make my arms hurt where they do... oh well! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Woo hoo! The scale said 150.6 ths morning. Can't wait to see the 140s again! Oh man, and the day I see the 130s I will be dancing in the street! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Today started out great and just remained great! In the morning, I drove over to a courthouse in Riverside to see an adoption get finalized. A 2-year-old girl who has been with her foster family since birth finally had it made official after, well, 2 years! It was so nice to see the whole family there all dressed up and looking so happy. The three County social workers that were involved in the case all showed up too and it was nice to see everyone so happy in a courthouse. I have been to several adoption finalization hearings, and I almost always cry, but I didn't cry at this one, that was my goal because I didn't want to mess up my make-up lol. It was beautiful though, I felt really happy. I blew my whistle after the judge made his pronouncement and everyone clapped and cheered. It was really great. When they brought the adoption papers out, I glanced through them and thought wow! this sure is a great sheaf of papers! :) Then I went back to the office and had a basically good time there and then I delivered presents to 2 of my foster families. That was nice. It felt nice to just say hi and give hugs and gifts. The last house I went to (that was the same one that did the adoption that morning actually), one of the girls had bought tarot cards and was all excited to do a reading. So we did several of those and everyone was real into it. Towards the end, folks were getting a little silly and the prediction is now that the family will adopt another child, probably another girl, under the age of 5 but the next placement they will get is a girl over the age of 12. Then one of the girls in the home said let's ask the tarot cards if I am going to die in the next 15 years. I said no NO! No readings having to do with death, accidents, maimings, etc. because if the cards say something messed up, I know that the teenage girls in that house will freak out. So we didn't do a reading for that one. I asked her why she wanted to know that and she said no reason. As far as I know, she doesn't have any depression issues or death wishes, but it was an interesting question for her to ask. Anyway, then I heard from my top three consorts today which was also really cool. Man it feels good to open my phone and see all these missed calls and text messages. It really makes my day! And then the ride home wasn't too bad with traffic and Tom Leykis was very entertaining. Then I did my evening meditation, and I had done my morning meditation as well which was really good. I am so glad to be doing that. I should have a decent calorie deficit today, at least around 200. I just have to make sure I don't eat anything else. I am sure I can do it. I brushed my teeth as a precaution. That does work pretty good, actually. Also, I saw the sunrise and sunset from the freeway and they were both beautiful. The new year has been good to me so far. I look forward to many, many days filled with all kinds of good things. (I count the new year on 12/22 after the solstice, none of this January 1st bull for me! stupid gregorian calendar!) |
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Terabyte New Member
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Well, hallelujah, the scale said 149.4 this morning, which is great! I was really happy. AND I had cool dreams last night AND I don't have to start work until 8:30 today which is great, because lately I have had to start at 7ish. YAY! And I don't have to work for the next 2 days! Whoooppeee! That is really cool. I was also pleased to see such a drop in weight because I ate a lot of tasty food yesterday. Here is what I had: -nonfat caramel macchiatto from Starbucks, 170 calories (tasty treat without a lot of calories!) -three green olives, 60 calories -2 homemade tamales that my coworker brought in, 131 calories -cheddar cheese, 320 calories -some pretzel crackers, 100 calories -some potato chips, 100 calories -some tortilla chips, 100 calories -small piece of barbecue rib, 100 calories -one iced sugar cookie, 170 calories I also didn't really "exercise" at all yesterday. I spent a #%@&! of a lot of time driving around and then probably the most exertive thing I did was wrap presents and carry them out to the car and then to the different homes I delivered them to. It was interesting, when I first dropped a bunch of weight, about 20 pounds or so, I did it completely by just counting calories and making sure I burned more than I ate. I did fairly little "exercise" although I made a point of it to do those little things they always tell you to do, walk around when you're on the phone, stand up instead of sit down whenever you can, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park farther away, carry heavy stuff whenever you can to help out, etc. And it really worked! I ate whatever I wanted, there were no forbidden foods, and I did not set aside any time to "exercise." And it worked out really well! So I am thinking that if I want to lose another 20 pounds, which would put be at a very happy 129, I could just try employing these tactics again. I remember people asked me, wow, you should write a book or something about what you've done because every time I see you, you are eating, you never exercise, and you keep getting smaller and smaller! I even DID start to write a little e-book but I just never finished it. But I am going to really try in earnest to try this again, after all, it totally worked. I can honestly say that it transformed my body, and it was so easy. The big deal is just STICKING to it and NOT allowing a surplus to happen. Now I am at 149.4 today, which is good, I always have trouble breaking past 149 because I always end up indulging and being stupid with my calories. So if I can just be good today, I bet I could see the scale move to 148 something tomorrow, and that would be really cool! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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AWWWW, You can do it. Just stick to your plan! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Wow, AND I also reached a financial goal of mine, to have X amount of money total (in my liquid accounts and my retirement accounts), and I reached it TODAY! I am so happy! And I only have to gather about 550 more dollars before I reach my next goal in that area. Yes! Also, my mutual fund has been doing GREAT these last couple days. I have made around a hundred bucks just from the stocks going up. And I don't know how it's happening because the markets have been bad, but I guess my mutual fund knows where to put stuff! |
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Terabyte New Member
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All right, well I am halfway through the day, I think it's fair to say, and I am doing pretty well. As long as I don't eat anything else for the rest of the day, I should have a decent deficit, and I SHOULD see the scale break past 149 tomorrow. That is my big goal. I did some push-ups and some squats and frog squats to help with muscle building, and I will probably do some more resistance training before the day is out. I am glad that work was a short day today, that was nice. By the way, a state auditor came by the office today, how nice of them to do an audit on Xmas Eve, but whatever. We got dinged on a few things, but nothing major. We ALMOST had a major catastrophe, but I was able to get ahold of the Director, even though it was her day off, and everyone fixed the problem. So that was good. This auditor is a real piece of work though, I hate auditors in general, but this one REALLY sucks. She KNEW what today was and she decided to do her audit anyway, like it couldn't have waited. Anyway, she sucks. I hope that she is always a miserable little turnip. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, and so whenever I get the urge to eat, I will just come on here and post to my diary or go to one of the other forums until the urge passes. I really, really REALLY want to see the scale break 149. That would mean so much to me! I would love for it to happen tomorrow, so we'll see what I can manage for the rest of the day. I usually fall asleep around 9:00pm, so I just have to get through a little over 5 hours, more if I stay up later. But if I stay up later, then I will burn more calories, which is a good thing! So, here's to hoping that I can break 149 by tomorrow's weigh-in. Come on baby! |
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Terabyte New Member
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All right! It is now a little past 6pm, and I have meditated, showered, lotioned, done some resistance training, and watched Idiocracy, which is a GREAT and hilarious movie by the way. The actress in that movie, Maya Randolph or Maya Rudolph or something like that is a great beauty, and not one that usually gets much recognition for her beauty, but she sure is nice to look at! I would highly recommend this movie to anyone. I am also very happy to report that my mutual fund went up AGAIN today! 7 more bucks. I am so pleased! I am so excited that it keeps doing well despite the general stock market being in the toilet. Got lots of nice solstice wishes from those important to me, which was great. I've got to tell you all something about Xmas, though. I do not like it. After this year, I do not think I will celebrate it anymore. Even though my family won't like it, it is important for me to take this stand. I don't believe in Jebus, and I see no reason to celebrate the birthday of some fictitious character. Furthermore, I don't believe in materialism and I think it's ridiculous to give gifts to people to prove that you care about them. Xmas is either religious or shameless materialism to me, so I am extricating myself from the whole process next year. I don't expect any gifts, I won't buy any gifts. I would have done that this year except that I already went out and spent money on retarded #%@&! for people already. I hate Christmas music, I hate the cold, I hate Christmas clothing like santa caps and stupid sweaters. I hate Christmas commercials. In short, I hate Christmas. I have my own ritual that I do on the solstice, to reflect on the year past and give thanks on the sunrise of December 22 that I made it through the darkest part of the year, and other than that, I don't like to celebrate. And if I do, it certainly won't be by hanging out with my family stuffing my face and spending money. Christmas is great because it gives me a day off work, period. Besides that, it's a big pain in my butt, and I can totally see why folks kill themselves and get depressed this time of year. So that's it--next year, I am opting out. I will, of course, have to deliver Christmas presents to my kids for work, because that is part of my job requirement, but other than that, nothing! Mark my words! I will be much happier! gosh, it even made me happy to write all that. whew! :) In other news, I am quite pleased that it is now 6:09pm, and I have not eaten anything further. I know I can make it to bedtime without putting anything else in my stomach besides water. And speaking of water, thank God for indoor plumbing and water filtration. Seriously, I am so happy to have these things, and I totally take them for granted! They are the bees knees, though! |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Hey Terabyte, I like the fact that you are carving out your own traditions and doing what feels right to you. I feel the same way you do about winter solstice...always find happiness in the lengthening daylight ahead. So belated Happy New Year to you. |
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lastten New Member
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Terabyte, I totally agree with you about Christmas. I have started reading esoteric philosophies and I am really enjoying the thought processes. My husband I haven't celebrated Christmas in any traditional way for many years. We do put up lights b/c I think they are pretty and we put up a tree b/c I like the way they smell and they really don't have a religious context to them...more from the pagan side. We send out New Year cards wishing everyone a good tidings for the coming year and that is it. This year my hubby and I took it another step by volunteering to work today so everyone else can be off with their families...it is all about karma and I hope that someone would so the same for me. So, well wishes to the New Year and may only positive energy find you! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Geeezz, and I was going to wish you a Merry Christmas, guess not. Ok, Happy New Year! instead.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Last ten: that is very cool that you don't celebrate it in a traditional way. I think lights are pretty too, but the trees ehhh I just think they'd be better off the forest with the rest of their friends, but yes they do smell good. I will sometimes hang pine cones in the doorways. The store sells ones that smell like cinnamon. Cindy, thank you! you are so funny. I have gotten lots of calls and texts from people wishing me merry Xmas, including from my beloved consorts, so it doesn't make me angry when people say it. It is just people being nice. I just like it BETTER when people wish me a happy solstice, but it's still good when people say merry Xmas. But I do appreciate your wishes for a good new year. As I've said, it's been darn good so far! Molly: Yeah, I have been really into the solstice for the past few years. It DOES feel so great to make it through the darkest part of the year and then watch the days get longer. It's awesome. I also start feeling less tired after the solstice. I think I have mentioned that when the days get shorter and ESPECIALLY after the big time change, I get way pooped like even by 7ish. I am ready for bed this early! But after solstice, I start getting more energy, which is really cool. Like last night I stayed up until 10:30, which I know isn't THAT late by most people standards but for a winter bedtime, that is really good for me. (Unless I am partying or something, then of course I can stay up way late no matter what, but I am talking about just chilling and staying up late...) I did not break 149 today, but I did see a weight decrease to 149.2, and a fat percentage of 31.3, which is pretty low for me! This is great. |
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MidgeH Distinguished Member
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just thought I would say Happy Festivus sweetie darling! |
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Terabyte New Member
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LOL! That's awesome! A festivus for the rest of us! But I forget what the tradition was that Mr. Costanza made up. It was something really funny and messed up... like you tell them all the ways they've screwed up for the year or something like that... Well, I made it through Christmas breakfast over at my parents' house and I did really well. I really enjoyed the food, but I concentrated on using all of my senses with it and putting my fork down between bites and engaging in the conversation, and it was really quite cool. It was pretty awesome actually. It is cool to practice mindful eating--not only does it make you eat less, but it makes you enjoy it more. So, it's like you win out all over! This is what I ate so far: -scrambled eggs with cheese -cinnamon roll with fake butter (I don't like fake butter but that's what my mom uses) -bacon -green tea -one piece of dark chocolate see's candy -a few nuts I am reading this book right now that I started last night called You On A Diet, and it's pretty fascinating really. It explains a lot about physiology, digestion, hunger, etc. Although it's something I have heard before, the book reminded me to eat a handful of nuts before any meal in order to fill one's self up and then also reminded me to fully experience your food, as funny as that sounds--to smell it and admire it and to really enjoy the act of eating it. EXPERIENCE the food... lol... sounds so silly, but it's true. As a matter of fact, that is sort of what mindfulness meditation is about--being mindful of each and every action as its executed, feels like it stretches time out in front of you like it never ends or it's all shrunk down into a singular point. I really like it! |
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Terabyte New Member
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okay, i ran the numbers and I lost .98 pounds of fat in 5 days. woo hoo! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Great Job! Keep it going... |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh my gosh---this is so freaking cool! I am so happy, I can barely contain myself! What the heck I can't contain myself! I am bursting, I am bursted. I don't WANT to contain myself! YES~~~ okay okay so here it is: I got on the scale this morning after Christmas, where most people eat too much and gain weight and NOT ONLY did I lose weight--.6 pounds since yesterday but I BROKE PAST 149! YES, I broke PAST it! I now weigh in at 148.6!!!!! AND THAT'S THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS!!!! Wow, what a great gift for the solstice gods to give to me! I am so happy and HERE is even what I ate yesterday: -2 cups of tea -scrambled eggs with cheese (my Dad's specialty) -cinnamon bun with margarine -4 smallish pieces of bacon -1 diet cherry coke -4 swedish meatballs -two pieces of See's candy -one piece of Toblerone -one green olive -one cream cheese/bread canape topped with vegetables -one cocktail size pig in a blanket -one small piece chocolate pastry dessert -two slices of ham with grey poupon (pardon me...) -mashed potatoes with gravy -homemade stuffing -candied yams -glazed carrots - dinner roll -handful of nuts -another handful of nuts -small piece of cheddar cheese -raspberry jello -chicken breast with mushrooms AND I STILL LOST HALF A POUND For exercise, my pedoemeter came in, that wearing that really does motivate me to walk more, so I walked about 1.5 miles and then I did some strength training (push-ups, regular squats, tricep extensions, shoulder presses, bicep curls, upward rows). There are no words for how happy I feel right now! Everything is coming up Millhouse! |
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Terabyte New Member
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How sweet it is--this morning I weighed in at 148.4, another .2 pound drop since yesterday! And this is what I ate yesterday: -3 cups of green tea -Chinese fast food lunch plate consisting of chow mein, fried rice, orange chicken and kung pao chicken -dried half pear -3 pieces of Toblerone -1 piece See's candy -some walnuts Ummm.... I think that's it. The Chinese food meal was definitely my biggest meal of the day. For exercise, I did 5 minutes of strength training and walked for about 2 miles. Also got a surprise visit from my friend F who was "in the area" and a real sweet text from my top advisor consort this morning, so it was nice. I am on-call for my work this weekend so most of my time has been spent relaxing, reading, and playing games. I don't like to go out when I am on-call and of COURSE drinking is completely out of the question. But it was a great day yesterday and I am so looking forward to 2 more days of relaxation and just having visitors. It's sweet! My ninja consort is supposed to come by today to play an RPG with me and then my top advisor consort is coming over tomorrow afternoonish to go for an early dinner and then watch the Simpsons :) I am really pleased with the weight I have been dropping while still eating the foods I really enjoy, especially white carbs. Oh white carbs, how I do love thee! And after going back to just counting calories, which has worked for me great in the past, my weight has been steadily dropping, it's awesome. AND I broke through past my plateau weight of 149. Now that was really cool! I guess I should consider myself lucky that I can eat so much naughty food and still lose weight. Really, as long as I just count calories and do some light-to-moderate exercise every day, I can reach my goals without really putting in that much work! So I am sincerely thankful for that! I mean really, in the last few days, I have eaten all sorts of naughty things--fast Mexican food, chocolate, Chinese food, cookies, etc., and I just keep getting slimmer! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Wow! That is great I am really happy for you. I am up 4lbs myself, the last time I checked. I won't check again until the end of the challenge. But, I am already back on track. This morning was our big breakfast- for Christmas- it's tradition. So, I haven't had anything since then. I really don't think I could even eat right now. I am that full from the weekend. So, hats off to you for staying in control.... YOU ROCK!!!! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Last night was very fun, as my ninja consort came over and we stayed up all night playing Silent Hill, which was very cool. And the ninja consort is GREAT because he remembers to save his game! I love a man who remembers to save his game! :) And this morning when I weighed in, I was at 147.8 pounds. This is great! That's a sweet .6 drop since yesterday, which is awesome! My ninja consort was great and very congratulatory and then he said the words that every chick likes to hear, which is "Geez, Katie, you're like one of those people who can eat whatever they want and still lose weight." And I have always wanted to BE one of these people, and now, it seems that I am. Because this is what I ate yesterday: -some walnuts -3 cups green tea -big lunch from Taco bell including nachos, a bean burrito, and a mexican pizza -4 pieces of See's candy -some more walnuts -an apple All told, about 1720 calories in. I did walk a fair amount yesterday, probably about 1.5 miles again or so, but broken up throughout the day, then I did about 5 minutes of weight training (no resting, just constant lifting for 5 minutes) and then did some yoga with my ninja consort. He really likes yoga which is cool. So, in the past 10 days, I have lost 2.4 pounds, 1.5 pounds of which was pure fat. I will be down to 145 in no time, I bet, and then I get to go buy some more clothes. I can't tell you how great this is to me. I must really be doing something good to keep my metabolism up. I mean, I DO try to stay pretty active, not sit still for long periods of time and usually fidgeting when I am sitting down reading or watching TV, etc. I HAVE heard that fidgeting can actually burn up to 1000 additional calories a day if you are a hardcore fidgeter. So maybe this is accounting for my steady, larger-than-expected weight loss. Green tea too I know is helpful in boosting metabolism and can help an average person burn about 70 additional calories a day. And I HAVE been making sure I do resistance training daily, and I know muscle burns a lot of calories. So, I don't know exactly what's working, but I am going to keep up all the green tea, fidgeting, walking, and resistance training because evidently this counteracts the indulgent stuff that I eat. I mean seriously, I had 3 things from Taco Bell yesterday AND 4 pieces of See's candy AND I lost .6 pounds! If you I just run the straight biomath, unadjusted for muscle mass, I only had a deficit of about 200 calories yesterday, which would not account for a loss of .6 pounds. So, there must be something I am doing that is burning up unaccounted for calories. Some metabolic trick... I sure am happy about it though! WOO HOO! And another consort is coming over tonight. I will get to wear a real cute little shorts outfit and feel great in it. I am so excited to even see what the scale says tomorrow! These last several days it's been like a fun game every time I get up and get on the scale. I could kiss the scale! :) |
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Terabyte New Member
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Ah, it was a very nice, relaxing Sunday yesterday and I felt good about my food and exercise. I did about 10 minutes of yoga with the top advisor consort, 7 minutes of strength training, and walked for about 1.5 miles. I finished reading this book my Mom gave me called "YOU on a Diet" written by these two doctor dudes, and it is a fascinating book, goes into a lot of detail about the human body and brain and how it relates to food and exercise. I would recommend it to everyone on here! I also was not really feeling hungry until later in the day, so I didn't eat until later in the day. Just drank tea and water until I was truly hungry. Here is what I ate: -a few walnuts -6 slices of DELICIOUS pepperoni and jalapeno pizza from Raffallo's, one of the best pizza places in Los Angeles! -one piece of See's milk chocolate -1/2 dried apricot -1/2 dried pear -one small piece of Toblerone What was really VERY cool was that I never really sat and ate something. Even when my pizza arrived, I didn't really sit down and eat it like I normally would. I kept myself really busy and grazed on it here and there for about 2 hours, which was very cool! It feels good to do that! It feels good to eat something REALLY slow. My cousin Mikey, who is thin as a rake and eat lots of food but VERY slow and spread out. He will get something big, but he will seriously sit at the table WAY after everyone else. And then he will go and put it away in the fridge and then go get it in like 30 minutes an hour, eat a bit more, put it away. It's interesting. My friend Glo has a cousin Norbert (I know, funny name!) who eats the same exact way, and he's superslim too. I am back to work now after 4 days off. Those days were absolute HEAVEN, mind you. And I am very glad I have a 4-day workweek this week. Hooray! |
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mj36 Senior Member 
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Hey, whatever is working, you go girl! If you figure out the metabolic secret though, please let the rest of us in on it! I think you are right, it is the combination of many things. So keep at each of them~ |
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Terabyte New Member
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Well, it was another good day yesterday. I FINALLY got off-call for work (after being on-call for 12 days straight, which SUCKED, inclduing being on-call for Xmas, BLECH) but it ENDED yesterday morning at 8:30am and I was SOOO HAPPY to be rid of that stupid on-call phone! (And that stupid on-call feeling). Anyway, I drove like a madwoman yesterday. I (as well as several others in the office) have been covering cases for another coworker who unexpectedly had to take 2.5 weeks off due to a family emergency. It's been rough, especially with short workweeks around the holidays to deal with all of my own cases as well as the cases I am covering for her. Luckily she will be back next week (we all hope) and things will calm down a bit. But anyway, I drove all the way out to the desert AND the mountains yesterday. It was crazy, I saw Joshua trees and snow just a few hours apart. I think I drove close to 200 miles yesterday visiting all the kiddos placed in different areas. I got to hang out with my ninja consort when I got home, which was nice, and it was SO nice not to have to keep an ear out for the on-call phone when I was with him. Made for a much more relaxing time! Ahhhhhh I think it's great that I can appreciate being off-call so much. It makes being on it so long worth it!One of my coworkers unexpectedly gave me a bracelet, which I thought was very cool. It's really bright and cute, one of those bracelets made out of the cut-up shells, all flat, if you know what I am talking about. They were big in the 70s. As fas as food and exercise, it was quite a good day yesterday in that department. The scale shows a little increase to 148.4, but I have been doing a lot of resistance training AND I will probably start bleeding in the next week or so, so I am not surprised at the small weight gain. I am just SO glad to be in the 140s! I actually brought my scale to work and accidentally left it there, so I won't be able to weigh myself anyway until 1/31/08. But that's cool. Sometimes it's helpful not to weigh yourself every day, but for sure if there's a scale around, I can't resist! So I am glad I left my scale at the office, lol. Oh yeah, but ANYWAY, I did resistance training for 10 minutes (double what I usually do, so that felt good), did 5 minutes of yoga, and walked for a little over 2 miles. I noticed getting out of the shower and toweling off that my arms are starting to get some nice definition, so that was cool. Not so much at rest, but when they are doing certain moves, they look WAY strong. AND when I was at my parents' house for Christmas, I wore a pleated skirt and caught sight of my legs in a full-length mirror she has. My LEGS look pretty deisel, really strong! You can see lots of defition around teh calf (of course, those have always looked strong) but you can also see definition in my quads and hamstrings. The whole leg too, upper and lower, I was like WOW, look at this mom and she said "well yeah honey, what do you expect with all the exercises you do." It was really nice to see. My legs definitely look like they could kick someone's butt. I really like looking strong. Anyway, I ate a lot yesterday, but I still have a deficit of around 150, so I am cool with that. Here is what I ate: -3 cups of green tea (remember, 3 cups of green tea boost your metabolism by about 3% or about 70 calories) -3 slices pepperoni/jalapeno pizza -12 crackers with peanut butter and honey on them -some dried fruit -two pieces See's candy -some more dried fruit -3 walnuts All told, about 2070 in. Higher than usual, but I kept up a good deficit still, so I am happy. The new year has been great to me so far. My calorie biomath is paying off nicely in improved appearance AND numbers dropping on the scale. I am so glad I am not trying to cut out white carbs anymore. It feels SO GOOD to enjoy those foods that I love on a daily basis instead of trying to stay away from them. I also have been really faithful with my morning meditation. I think i only missed one day in the past month, so that is cool. And I have started up with evening meditation too, although I probably only do that half the time. |
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50lbs2lose New Member
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Terabyte wrote: All right! It is now a little past 6pm, and I have meditated, showered, lotioned, done some resistance training, and watched Idiocracy, which is a GREAT and hilarious movie by the way. The actress in that movie, Maya Randolph or Maya Rudolph or something like that is a great beauty, and not one that usually gets much recognition for her beauty, but she sure is nice to look at! I would highly recommend this movie to anyone. |
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Terabyte New Member
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That's nice to know. Back when I was a teenager and DID believe in Jebus, I thought Christmas was a horrible, materialistic spectacle and took away from God's glory, which is what I thought should be focused on at Christmas. So I hear where your people are coming from. If I am not mistaken, I think Jehova's Witnesses do not celebrate Christmas either. When you say "your people" what sect are you referring to? Your community reminds me somewhat of Quakers or the Amish or the ones who make the Oneida utensils. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Yes! My mutual fund went up again today! That is 28 extra bucks I have gotten since the new moon started last Saturday (Wolf Moon). Hooray! I also did my evening meditation for the first time in a while. I actually walked and did yoga while I did it and it was pretty great! I just focused on the things I was thankful for and then I just did really slow, relaxing yoga, just feeling my body move and focusing on my own power and energy. Not too long, about 8 minutes, but pretty sweet. I need to start doing my evening meditations again, they are good to help refocus the mind once the sun goes down. :) Also, I ate a little much today. I might still be able to pull off a deficit, but I am not sure... Right now I have a surplus of somewhere around 175. Not too much or anything to feel horrible about, but I'd like to break even or better yet have a deficit. I will try to stay busy for the rest of the night and see what that brings. I was not able to weigh myself today, as I left my scale at the office. But this is what I ate today -nachos (SO GOOD!) from this hole-in-the-wall place by my house -5 dates -a dried pineapple ring -4 dried apricots -a Snickers bar (so good!) -3 prunes I think I am going to start my second round of colon cleansing pills on the 1st as well. WOO HOO!!!! They say you should do it every 2 months, or at least that's what the bottle says, so I am going to do it! Or actually, no, everyone does new stuff on the 1st. I am going to start tomorrow, just to screw the Gregorian calendar. So, I go until the bottle's done. We'll see how that goes. I really liked it last time. Felt like it did a good job of cleaning me out. Oh yeah, and I almost forgot. I bought a big bottle of vegetable juice, and mind you, I HATE vegetable juice but I know it's good for me so I bought some and I will drink it daily. Starting tomorrow. LOL, the same day I start the colon cleanse.... |
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Terabyte New Member
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Woo hoo! I decided to start the colon cleanse tonight instead of tomorrow because there's no time like the present. Now my insides are so full of water, I feel all sloshy. I can't wait to expel something. !!!! |
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mj36 Senior Member
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OMG, I forgot about that "on-call feeling". I used to work for child protective and dreaded my on-call weeks. Glad to hear you are done with that! The idea of someone doing a colon cleanse is beyond me... I have a digestive disorder called bile reflux disorder or bile wasting disorder that essentially means the bile that is supposed to be stored in the gall bladder (which I don't have) dumps about 20 minutes after I eat... which is a colon cleanse all in itself. I take lots of meds every day to make sure that doesn't happen but still sometimes I feel like I haev the colon cleanse idea down pat haha. Glad to hear it makes you feel all clean and fresh inside though. I have read lots of good things about the process. Can't imagine it is any fun though~ |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, cool, I have been closing the deficit. Now it's down to 69! Hooray! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Yes! Now it's 59! Wow, that's great! |
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50lbs2lose New Member
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Yes a lot of people say that about amish or quakers. One time I was going for a walk with my 2 older girls and 2 other girls stopped and asked us if we were pilgrims. My girls could not stop laughing (quietly of cource). But no, we are simply a people who desire to live as the first church in the book of acts( it is a book in the bible). They lived as a big family and took care of each other and gathered together morning and evening to give thanks to thier creator. The community my family lives in is on a farm in Bellows falls vt. and we live with 4 other families, a single mom and her 2 year old girl and 2 single women 2 single men. We respect each other and care for each other as ourselves. There is much more to our life but I know you are not religious and I am not the preachy type. But I will answer any questions you ask. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Does your group have a name? That's funny about the pilgrim thing. Are there others who live as who do or was it something just that group of you decided? |
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50lbs2lose New Member
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We have communities all over the world. A couple of places in California; Vista, Valley center. We are commonly known as the 12 tribes, because of the sons of Jacob in the old testament. The sons basicaly became the tribes that originaly made up Isreal. |
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mj36 Senior Member
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We have a 12 tribes group locally I believe. They remodeled this lovely old building into a cafe. Anyway, Happy New Year and hopefully you will hit "shopping weight" soon~ |
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Terabyte New Member
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Hmmm, the 12 tribes. I am familiar... that's highly interesting to me. You should tell me what you know about the tribe of Benjamin. I seem to remember something crazy that happened with them.... something like where they became friendly with the Phoenicians and then the other 11 tribes declared war on the tribe of Benjamin because they were fraternizing with heathens, so it was like an intratribal civil war. And then the tribe of Benjamin travelled off to the Capsian sea and intermarried with the people over there and this new tribe emerged called the Sunyadi or something... and it was like, they were the lost tribe or something? Does any of that sound familiar to you? That story was always interesting to me, but now I can't remember the source. I want to say part of it was from my Blue-eyed Jew consort and part of it was from research on the internet... But anyway, YES, I think all that 12 tribes stuff is super interesting and I think you are super interesting. |
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Terabyte New Member
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I weighed myself on the scale at work today and it said 149.2. That's pretty good that I am still in the 140s even after having a surplus yesterday AND being about to bleed. BUT what was even cooler was my body fat percentage which was 31.3%. That is pretty low. The lowest I ever got to I think was somewhere around 30.9, and I would love to break below that. Not too far away!!!! Whew and those colon cleanse pills work, but they work like a PERFECT amount, no emergencies yet, which is GREAT (nothing sucks more than having a sudden DIRE need to use the restroom when you're on the freeway during an hour-long commute) but when I do use the bathroom, man I USE IT. Feels great! Somebody told me that it takes a few colon cleanses but then you finally get out all that really super gross gunk come out, the stuff that looks like tire rubber and weird alien strings. I didn't see anything like that last time, so I am sorta hoping for that this time. I know it's gross, but supposedly we all have that weird stuff inside us and if I don't see it in the toilet then I worry it's still in there! |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh YES! I weighed myself this morning and hallulujah i weighed 148 AND that's with a body of 31.1!!!!! that means I have 46.03 pounds of fat! That's down .52 pounds of fat since last Sunday when I weighed in at 147.7. That means I am putting on muscle. That is too awesome! And yesterday, I drnk like 3.5 glasses of wine and I also ate a cheeseburger, fries, some vegetable juice, a cookie, some walnuts, some almonds, some chocolate and a granola bar. 1820 IN. I could do this forever! Oh man I am so pleased! Last edited on 1 January 2009 04:17 pm by Terabyte |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh yeah and and AND I am about to bleed any day now, so my weight is probably even inflated on top of THAT! And check this out, this is interesting... my top advisor consort contacted me a little after midnight last night and told me to check out this song on youtube. Pretty cool and jazzy, not usually what we listen to, but it was a pretty dope song. heh, he always says he doesn't trust any music unless it's got a little bit of black in it). Thought it was really cool and I don't know if I was just real buzzed or what but it sounded like this OTHER song that we both really like called Spinning Wheel by zero b, which is a lot newer and a different style, but a lot of the old school techno pulls their stuff from jazz/housey stuff so I thought it was even way cooler! man, why are dudes so cool. god bless em! of course the blue-eyed jew was already passed out at midnight, LOL! I had to wake him up and got a really sleepy kiss but it was still cool. I even made sure I did my evening meditation last night, although I have to tell you that drunk meditation is really hard, but I give myself points for trying. |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh yeah AND my mutual fund went up AGAIN yesterday! That is just how I like it--money goes up, weight goes down ahhhhh, my favorite inverse relationship in the world! |
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mj36 Senior Member
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Hmmm, I think you are right about the inverse relationship, but i have been working it all wrong... weight up, money down... I have to work on getting that back into balance~ That's cool about gaining muscle. You have a scale that gives body fat % and does your weight? I think I will have to check into that! One time we had a clinic at work where you could use a little hand-held thing to get your body fat. I was running a lot at the time, and pretty fit, and it was like 25%... man, what I wouldn't give to get there again! |
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Terabyte New Member
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wow, 25% that IS low! I think the last time I was at that body fat percentage, I was a fetus! Spent a really fun night hanging out with my friend E (he is still here), and I have a date with my top advisor consort tonight, and I am really happy because my new Victoria's Secret unmentionables came today, so I will get to wear some new sexy stuff for my date (yay!) I also got my new moon calendar today, which is really cool. I love the moon. Ahhhh, it makes me so happy to look at it. I did my morning AND evening meditation yesterday, and that felt really good. And already today I have walked a mile and done my yoga and resistance training (I do at least 5 minutes of each every day, not much really, but I can totally tell a difference in my definition). I think I have mentioned before that my muscles very easily gain and lose tone. Like if I do resistance training for a week, I can totally start to see definition, but if I am lax for a week, the definition goes bye-bye just as quickly as it came. But I have been really good about it for about 10 days now, so I am pretty happy with my form! I also received a book on fasting that I haven't started reading yet, but I am really interested in learning about how to do it right as well as the mental and spiritual benefits of it. Most major spiritual practices worldwide include some form of fasting, so it seems like it would be worth looking into. Let's see, what else.... work has been good. My boss and I have been getting along REALLY GREAT and that feels nice. She is sort of new, the newest one at the company actually and me and my comrade Kristie are the veteranas, so our boss I think is finally feeling comfortable and is actually seeing Kristie and I in this nice very respected light, so that feels nice. I have been having a great couple of days, what can I say? Life is good! |
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Terabyte New Member
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oh man, I gotta say this though, now that E has fallen asleep and won't see me type this... my threshhold for doses of E is about one evening. He came over, we had a really great time, but always in the morning, he wants to hang out and hang out and then I have to basically kick him out. I mean really, he is great and REALLY fun for an evening, I mean great fun, I really enjoy it, but in the morning I just want him to pleasantly maybe have a cup of tea and then leave. But he never does! So now I will have to kick him out probably around 3 when he wakes up. Shoot! Oh well, whatever. Had to say it though! man that felt good. oh and PS, he is a friend, NOT a consort, I am not saying he is fun for like sex and then I hate to see him the next morning. We do not have sex or kiss or anything at all like that. |
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Terabyte New Member
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whew, now he's finally gone. Yay! I started reading the fasting book. Pretty good. I can't wait to get to the part where it tells you HOW to do it. Right now it's talking about all the benefits. |
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Terabyte New Member
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I think I forgot to post what I ate yesterday and today. Yesterday I ate: -2 servings of pita chips -small bit of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch (so proud that I stopped after a few spoonfuls, yay!) -big Taco Bell lunch including a nachos supreme, mexican pizza, and a bean burrito -some vegetable juice -almonds -4 cups green tea. Today's weigh-in was 149.8 pounds even with a body fat of 31.5%. The blood should be coming ANY day now so I think that's why my weight has been up because I had a pretty big deficit yesterday, mostly because I was up until way late (like 4 am ish) with my friend E listening to music and finding interesting #%@&! on youtube. We found some of the COOLEST beatboxers the world has ever seen! Definitely worth checking out oooh, AND he showed me this artist called Mr. Oizo, very cool trippy electronic glitchy type music. WAY COOL And let's see, today, I think I am done with food for the day. I have had -some vegetable juice -4 slices of hawaiian pizza -more small bits of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. (Still have half a pint left in the freezer, which is amazing, usually I inhale that stuff in one sitting). -3 cups green tea Even though I am going to bleed soon, I am hoping to weigh a little less than 149 with a body fat percentage of 31.1%. We shall see though, because it is Day 24 of my cycle right now which is maximum bloat time. The blood could be coming any time now! I need to remember to do the proper premenstrual yoga to try and reduce my cramps. I did some yesterday, I need to make sure I do some today. I think I will do it right now when I am thinking about it! okay cool, did it! |
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mj36 Senior Member
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I admire your strength in only eating a bit of Heath Bar Crunch (one of my faves) at a sitting. I can't even buy it because I will absolutely, beyond a doubt, no matter what, eat the WHOLE carton in one sitting. I should just be thankful that it doesn't come in 1/2 gallons! Something about a pint of ice cream that begs to be eaten straight from the carton, all at once... |
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Terabyte New Member
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haha, so true! And remember it was COFFEE Heath Bar crunch which is even better than the vanilla kind, in my opinion! Woo hoo, my top advisor consort is on his way over and I am showered, smelling good, and looking pretty good! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Woo hoo! I weighed myself this morning and even with the blood coming, I am only at 148.4 pounds with 31.2% body fat. Hooray! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Well, I had a great time with my top advisor consort last night, and even with the wine I drank, I still woke up feeling nice and slim, not bloated and the scale said friendly stuff to me this morning. and now, my top advisor consort is gone and the blue-eyed jew is coming over. He is bringing MORE wine heh heh. If there's anything I like more than beautiful men and wine I don't know what it is! |
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mj36 Senior Member
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Oh, you tease, with the COFFEE Heath Bar Crunch... double yum! Glad to hear that the wine is flowing freely and the men keep coming... at least someone is living the good life! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Well, had a great time with the Blue-Eyed Jew. Ate a bit more than I should have (and drank too) and so weight was up this morning to 151.4. But that's okay, I am planning on going on a 24-hour fast from 6pm tonight to 6pm Tuesday night. The book I am reading recommends to start this way, so I am going to. I am looking forward to it! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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Hey, good luck with the fasting. Whenever I fast it always makes me feel like I am doing some sort of body cleansing type of thing. I got to warn you though, with the colon thing you are doing and the fasting you might have some bathroom issues with that. I take extra fiber and it really bothers me when I fast. I have to go to the bathroom, but there is nothing in my system. So, I end up sitting trying to do something I can't, lol. Anyway, I hope that is not a problem for you... |
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lastten New Member
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Fasting is real hit and miss for me. Sometimes I do it and feel great and other times I make it 12 hrs and I am seeing stars and HAVE to eat before I pass out. Weird...Now when I eat light, I just have a sugar free protein shake for 200 calories when I start to feel icky. |
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mj36 Senior Member
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So, what is the goal of the fast? I can't fast because of my diabetes and blood sugar issues, not to mention the meds, but wondered what you were hoping it would do for your body? Good luck with it! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Cindy: I will keep the bathroom issues in mind. Although you know me, I always am having bathroom issues (I have to cr.ap whenever I get scared or really happy or really excited or angry or anything besides really sad), so I have seriously taken cr.aps in places nobody even wants to think about lol because it's such a thing. But I WILL keep in mind that I might have even more bathroom issues than usual. And I've never really gotten the phantom c.raps like you said you've gotten, but I will watch out for them since they might be coming. Lastten: I have actually fasted before for about 36 hours and I have done okay, no lightheadedness, no dizziness, no feeling like I need to faint. Of course if I DID feel like that, I would eat something! I would not force myself into a state of fainting (although I must admit, that IS kinda fun, but I know it's bad so no, I won't do it.) MJ: I am trying to sort of just clean my body out and also just want to give my digestive track a break. The book I am reading recommends that people fast for a day a week and then also a longer fast at least four times a year (like at least 5 days). The book I am reading says that fasting like this is great for giving the body a nice break and allowing the energy it would normally devote to processing food go elsewhere, like helping you be more alert, more aware, even feel more connected to the spiritual realm. That all sounds good to me, so I am trying it. I actually ended up starting my fast around 1:30pm today. I just thought, hey, might as well get it started early. So far, I have not felt very hungry, but it's only been 5.5 hours, not that long. I have definitely gone 5.5 hours without eating before. I have felt very nice and happy and loving, but I usually feel this way. Although I have noticed that I am more aware of how my body moves and can enjoy simple movements, like walking, or sitting up straight. That feels cool... so I will keep everyone posted. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Okay, I just finished doing some yoga and resistance training--not much just 5 minutes. It felt really good and I was glad I did it. And I only have 1550 calories in for the day, so that's cool! It will be somewhat hard not having my green tea tomorrow, but I am sure I can do it! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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My internet was working like barf last night. I tried to post a reponse and lost it all.  So, I am will attempt to remember what I was writing about. I think I was saying something about the fasting and how you are totally right about noticing your body more and how it feels and works. It's kind of weird. You notice every little thing that is going on with it. Maybe it's cause the food is not being a buffer or anything. That's why I like to try new and different things all the time. The more I know how my body works the better I am at losing weight or maintaining and stuff. It's also, weird. That when I fast I don't really even get hungry. But, then when I am not fasting and I have eaten, I get hunger pains and my stomach will even growl. I think that is odd. You would think, it would be the other way around. Anyway, good luck with the fast, can't wait to hear about how it goes. |
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Terabyte New Member
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Well, I ended yesterday with a deficit of about 450 calories. I am still going strong on my fast, I have to make it to at least 1:30pm today. I am proud of myself that I have not eaten or drank anything for about 17 hours. Woo hoo! I feel pretty good. I slept well, had good dreams, etc. Unfortunately, the scale this morning was being a brat and saying that I weighed 151.6 with a body fat percentage of 32.1% I am fairly sure this is from the blood being about to come--today is day 27 of my cycle and I am supposed to be bleeding anytime from like 2 days ago until 2 days from now. So, we'll see. I think I would like to bring my scale to work so I can weigh myself a little before 1:30pm and see if I lose weight throughout the day. But I don't know, sometimes bringing my scale to work is annoying, but it might be worth it. Not sure yet... |
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zenobia Moderator
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Terabyte wrote:right on! ain't that the truth! |
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cportwine Distinguished Member
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lol... they need to make a scale that talks to you. You know one that says "now, don't get upset, you know your about to start your period, so your weight is a little higher today" or something along that lines... My stupid scale was a brat this morning also. Mine would of said to me "I know you are working hard, but you just need to stick with" Fricking scales can be such a pain....I vote leave it at home...punish it with loneliness. |
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Terabyte New Member
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well, the blood DID come today, so that was nice. That means the bloat and the gook will be out in a few days. Also, since the blood came today, that should mean that everything should be nice and tidy when I go to visit my top advisor consort this weekend. Woo hoo! Today went by sort of in a daze. I worked on a bunch of reports. 4 of them, whew! So tired of looking at reports, that's for sure! I did not really experience any hunger pangs, just pyschological hunger that became really bad at about 11:00am. But I WAS able to make it to 1:30pm, a whole 24 hours of fasting. Yay! I will do it again next week. After a month of the one-week fasts, I will go for a 48 hour fast and see how I like that. Thankfully, I did not experience any light headedness or dizziness or headaches or anything of the kind. I did feel a sense of surreality, but that was cool, I enjoyed it. It was a bit strange not having my green tea throughout the day, but I am brewing some right now, so that will be nice. This chick at my work who is a big believer in the Bible started to give me a lecture about how when one is fasting, one isn't supposed to TELL anyone that anyone is fasting, and I stopped her and said yes yes, I am familiar with the passage. But that was in a specific context; Jesus was talking to 1) religious leaders who were 2) trying to show how spiritually superior they were by fasting and then telling everyone about it. AND at the time, these same said leaders were engaged in major corruption in their offices and then tried to hide behind their theocratic authority like they could do no wrong because they were priests. I am NOT a religious leader and I am NOT trying to show anyone that I am spiritually superior. I am NOT in a theocratic position of power nor am I corrupt in my office, which is being a social worker and not ahigh priestess anyway. I am just a chick who is trying a little food deprivation and see what the effect is on my mind and body. The idea of her comparing me to a Pharisee was ridiculous and she very well showed how badly some folks mis-use the Bible. That chick forgets that I was, once upon a time studying to be a pastor and I am sure that I know the Bible and its intrcacies better than her, I could take her to school any day of the week. Just because she is one of those godwads who got "saved" after the Lord showed her the error of her ways, which included having an affair with a married dude (when SHE was married to, to her second husband, and breaking up his family with small kids as well as having a whopping drug addiction--like you need the Lord to tell you that you are messed up when you are doing things like that, sheeyit, the average schmuck on the street could have told you you were a screw-up--doesn't make someone a Bible scholar. I, on the other hand, AM an official Bible scholar, as theology was my major for the first two years of college so, do the math! and when they ARE quoting the Bible to me, folks need to remember the freaking CONTEXT that those things were said in. (Some people love to forget that!) Some little heathen social worker chick going on a fast is nothing like some theocratic priest going on a fast over 2,000 years ago, other than the fact they are both fasting. She probably would have corrected Gandhi when he was doing his hunger strike too, so.... I guess I am in good company. but still YIKES! Last edited on 7 January 2009 01:34 am by Terabyte |
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mj36 Senior Member
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Here's to you and Ghandi, Terabyte, and thanks for a really fantastic laugh. Thanks for explaining the physical purpose of the fast in your earlier post. If it helps everything work more efficiently, keep it up! |
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lastten New Member
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Oh, I feel your frustration! I worked with a guy who used to preach to me about how it was my duty to god that I have children and b/c I didn't want kids I was going to h.ell *sigh* Thankfully he has moved on to other places or I might have removed his ability "to do gods work" ! Good job on your fast! Maybe you could drink Green Tea next time as a "detox" anitoxident benefit. Last edited on 7 January 2009 02:02 am by lastten |
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Terabyte New Member
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MJ: Glad it tickled your funnybone, it actually was sort of funny and frustrating at the same time. It's kind of hard to tease out the physical effects of the fast since it was combined with the beginning of the blood coming, which always throws everything off, but I can say I definitely felt a greater awareness of my body and physical motion, which was very cool. I also did feel sort of light and airy, which was also cool! I look forward to my next fast, when the blood will be over. Lastten: your duty to have children, give me a break! Also, I mean really, if you want to dissect that statement, if you REALLY wanted to do god's work where children are concerned, there are already lots and lots of children that somebody else already made that are starving, sick, in poverty, abandoned, etc. and in need of a good home. So if you ask me, adoption would be doing more good than making even more kids. Or sponsoring a kid or SOMETHING! And it's great when a man tells a woman to have a kid, that's always funny, I mean HE isn't having to have an episiotomy or have his pernium rip to his anus or be unable to walk up and down stairs without wincing in pain during the post-birth healing process. Sheesh! Ridiculous! I bet it it was MEN who had to actually get pregnant and birth children, he wouldn't be flapping his gums so much. Incidentally, I also think it's hilarious when men say they want a big family, like ten kids or something and I think, yeah if YOU had to go through the mechanics of pregnancy and birth, I doubt you'd be saying you wanted a huge family (although to be fair, maybe some of them would, but most of them, I doubt it!) Also, with the green tea thing, I have heard that many folks drink tea or even juice when they fast, but at least according to this book I read on fasting, the author recommends just a straight up water fast and says that the caffeine in green tea, although it is a smaller amount than in, say, coffee or Coke, still has an effect on your central nervous system and it's best to give your whole system a break during a fast and even abstain from tea. But who knows, maybe for my next fast, I could try it! I do love me some green tea, that's for sure! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Woo hoo, had a great night last night! I talked to my top advisor consort, my ethereal consort AND the blue-eyed Jew and so it was awesome to talk to all those dudes and have such nice conversations with all of them. I have a date with my top advisor consort this weekend and I am really excited. I also decided I am not going to weigh myself until the bleeding is over because I don't like to see the scale reflecting the stupid bloat and intrauterine gunk. The bleeding should be done by Friday morning or maybe Saturday morning so I will weigh myself then. I forgot to check my mutual fund yesterday, so I need to go do that. AND I got paid yesterday from my job, so I need to check on those finances and move some money around. |
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Terabyte New Member
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All right! My mutual fund went up yesterday so that's another 40 bucks I have in my accounts! YES!!!! Wow, that means I have gotten an extra $110 since this moon began (the wolf moon). And the moon's not even full yet! |
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mj36 Senior Member
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Hopefully your formula will hold true and your weight will go down since the mutual fund went up again hehe. Guess we'll find out when you get on the scale again. Good idea to wait til TOM is over! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Yes! Another great day! Lots of driving and lots of beautiful scenery! I also got to see some of the newer kids on my caseload out in the country, they are all younger, like 10 is the oldest and 3 is the youngest and they are all so adorable. I just love being around kids. I don't want any of my own, but I love working with them. Especially getting to be around so many of them, all so different and so charming in their own ways. My mutual fund went up AGAIN! Another $35 to my name. This is amazing, and I know the stock market ended down today, so I've got to think that I have some smart investors over at my mutual fund. I did great on my calories today, I have a decent deficit of at least 300. I also did my yoga, my resistance training, my walking (1.5 miles) AND my morning and evening meditation, so I am feeling mighty fine! My ethereal consort is so sweet--he is giving me like 3 super-ultra-awesome video games to play, 2 final fantasies and a god of war. He is so sweet and thoughtful! I just love him! <3 what a guy! Those games will keep me busy and I am sure will lay down new neural pathways of obsession and imagination, which I love! And I have got to say, I really like going to bed on an empty stomach. I like to hear the little gurgling noises as I am falling asleep, it's like a lullaby (serious!) I know some folks like to eat before bed, but not me! It feels great, and I am not hungry the next day either. I actually don't feel hungry really until about 10am ish, if I wake up at a normal hour, like after sunrise. It's pretty great. I like to eat when I am hungry instead of at certain times, it feels much more natural. Did not get on the scale at all today, even though I was tempted. I won't weigh myself until the blood is finished! I did go online shopping and bought some really cute new sexy lingerie. I can't wait for it to get here! I love buying girly stuff, it's awesome! |
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zenobia Moderator
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dude, i work at a drug store and we sell this men's hairspray called "Consort". every time i see it i think of you |
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Terabyte New Member
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Also, I have got to hand it to the ethereal consort--that dude is so intelligent and interesting to talk to. Man, he can hold up his end of the conversation and be completely brilliant and fascinating. I talked to him about fasting yesterday and he had really cool and interesting things to say about how it works and why it works--he has studied meditation and the chakra system and such things for a long time, longer than me even and I've been at it for probably about 8 years now. Now, all of my consorts are smart, that is a prerequisite for being one of my consorts, but sometimes he really takes the cake and totally amazes me with how cool his mind is. I LOVE HIM! |
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Terabyte New Member
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Zen: that's hilarious! That's awesome! I need to buy that hairspray, so cute! I am trying to think where I even learned that word, consort. I actually think I got it from a Neal Stephenson book called Snow Crash (really really REALLY good if you like cyberpunk stuff or probably even if you don't, it's just a brilliant book). It talks about how Asherah was the consort of Enki--both of them were gods or one was a goddess and one was a god rather. And I thought consort sounded so cool and classy really neat! I mean it sounds more sophisticated than boyfriend or girlfriend and it doesn't have the binding legal-contract thing I don't like about the word husband or wife and it sounds more important than partner or life partner or | |||||||
