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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 July 2012 06:15 am |
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Vineman 70.3 Race Report
Good thing we stayed close to the start instead of the finish this year. When we got to the start, I realized I had forgotten my nutrition bottles. We had to go back to the house which was only a mile away. Parking was bad so I got dropped off close to the start and walked my bike with my transition bag to the bike racks. Luckily, there was plenty of room near the exit side of transition so I found a good spot to set up. The family didn't come out to see the start, but I found a coworker who was there for his wife who was racing in the wave after mine. It was nice to have someone to chat with and take away some of the race anxiety.
The water was 74 degrees and boy was it warm. I wore a wetsuit to protect my shoulder and to gain some speed. It didn't feel too bad once I was in the water, and I found that after a few minutes of waiting for the start I actually got cold. The start wasn't too bad, but I did get sandwiched between a couple of swimmers. Once I got clear the swim felt pretty uneventful. I could see people standing up after just 400 yd of swimming - good thing the water is so shallow. I kept my right arm tucked in and pulled close beneath my body and that reduced a lot of the stress on my shoulder. I barely felt any pain. As expected the swim was slow, but I got out of the water feeling good and I kept up with a crawl stroke the entire way.
As I entered transition I noticed that my watch was no longer in the right mode. Darn it! I really wanted to use the multisport mode, so I took a minute to reset my watch. My wetsuit was a little hard to take off since I forgot to lube up my ankles. Everything else went smoothly. I stuffed my wetsuit and muddy towel into my transition bag, grabbed my bike off the rack and took a nice stroll behind the line of people out of transition.
The bike starts on a hill. Last year I mounted at the bottom of the hill, but with cyclists fumbling on their attempts to get up the hill, I decided to walk to the top for a safer bike out. I took it easy in the beginning and let a lot of people pass me. My heart rate was about 170 bpm, but that was from the excitement of getting on the bike. As I settled in for the ride, my heart rate dropped a little but I couldn't get it below 160 for most of the ride. (I'm definitely out of shape this year. Last year I averaged the first third of the race at 18.1 mph and my heart rate was only about 154.) I kept looking for the site of my crash, but I think I was concentrating so much on the road that I missed it. It looked like most of the major potholes had been filled, but the road was still full of holes, bumps and other hazards. I'm still fairly slow on the uphills, and I got passed by a lot of people. But I'm really good at downhills and end up passing most of the people who got me on the uphill. The day was hot, so I ended up grabbing extras bottles of water at the bike aid stations. Since I rode my road bike, I didn't have as many bottle/cages so I just sucked down as much water as I could while I rode through the station, and dumped the bottle at the end of the station. I had a couple of near accidents, one where a woman tried to pass me, only to panic on the downhill. She was in the aero position and only grabbed one brake. Her bike wobbled and she rode into me when she was only half a bike length past me. I had to brake hard too to keep from crashing into her. I switched to her left side and quickly passed her back. I never saw her again. According to the rules I should have fallen back before passing her back, but it was impossible to do that under the circumstances. Luckily there were no officials around to catch my little transgression. The second bad spot happened as I got ready to enter the bike finish. A car was blocking the transition entrance and the course volunteers weren't paying attention to me coming in. I had to yell out for directions. The volunteers pointed me to go in front of the car, but I had to stop hard when the car decided to pull out in front of me. I was so relieved when I finally made it to the dismount line, safe and sound, body and bike still intact.
The second transition was ok but had some clumsy moments. I never switched my shoelaces to quick laces, and I hadn't prepped my shoes for an easy slip on. After I lubed the balls of my feet (I don't wear socks and the lube keeps me from getting blisters), I found I couldn't slip my shoes on because the laces were too tight. It was awkward to stand on my heels while I tried to open my shoes more. After a little struggle, I was laced up and on my way out to the run.
The run went as awful as I thought it would be. My achilles was not cooperating, and I spent much of the time walking. The day was getting hot and there was only a little bit of shade in the first couple miles. At every aid station I would drink a cup of gatorade, pour a cup of water over me, and throw a cup of ice into my top. The course was rolling hills, which normally I enjoy and do really well on, but this time it was torture. My ankle hurt going up and going down. I didn't even enjoy running through the vineyards of La Crema Winery (they make my favorite pinot noir) because of the ruts and rocks in the dirt path. I did love the cold mist sprayer though. I slowed down to walk through the mist and then turned around to go back through it a second time. Ahhh! Anyway, a ton of people passed me. On my way back I saw so few people on the other side of the road that I knew I was pretty far behind. What little I had gained on the bike was completely lost on the run.
I think I smiled as I came into the finish. I know I was unhappy with my performance, but the spectators are so fun that it's hard not to smile. Anyway, mission accomplished. I came back and finished some unfinished business and had a great vacation to go with it. Someday I might come back to do this race again when I'm in better shape, but now it's time to concentrate on the next race.
Swim (1.2 miles) 0:46:23 min
T1 0:06:47 min
Bike (56 miles) 3:16:39 min
T2 0:05:49 min
Run (13.1 miles) 2:44:01 min
Finish 6:59:39 min
Division Place: 64/99
Overall: 1674/2067
Gender Place: 515/754
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 July 2012 12:07 pm |
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mchen01 wrote:
I think I smiled as I came into the finish. I know I was unhappy with my performance, but the spectators are so fun that it's hard not to smile. Anyway, mission accomplished. I came back and finished some unfinished business and had a great vacation to go with it. Someday I might come back to do this race again when I'm in better shape, but now it's time to concentrate on the next race.
That says it all, you smiles, you accomplished your mission and you are moving on to the next challenge. Good for you Michelle, you are amazing!
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 July 2012 09:34 pm |
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Weight: 161.2
Hopefully I will see my weight continue to drop as I get rid of some water weight. I was pretty happy to see this number since yesterday's number was almost 4 lb higher. My cumulative average weight, 160.9, is now lower than my current weight. I don't want my cumulative to go up, so I'm going to work hard to bring my current weight below the average again.
This morning the physical therapist worked on my calf muscle to help with the ankle pain. It was excruciating. She traced the pain in my ankle along the tibial nerve and up to the side of my knee, where the injury from the bike crash was at its worst. Then she worked on the scar at my knee - ouch! I told her it was still healing (aka ease up on the pain). She laughed and said it only takes 6 weeks to heal, and the pain was from scar tissue. She also said the tibial nerve felt thickened, so she thinks the pain in my ankle is nerve related rather than an achilles problem. A nerve problem would explain why I had itchy sensations on the bottom of my heel during the run. At least now there is some self-therapy I can do to help speed up my ankle recovery.
Yesterday's diet went very well. I was too busy to eat during the day, so I did most of my eating after 6 PM. Dinner included some home grown spaghetti squash. Mom baked 2 of them into a casserole - yummy! The casserole included sauteed onion and a tiny bit of parmesan for flavor. Because I had a ton of calories leftover, I snacked on a couple servings of cashews, a high calorie treat that I rarely indulge in.
Today I'm back to my hard boiled egg, spinach salad and fresh fruit for lunch and breakfast. No bread this time. I think I will cut the one slice of bread from my lunch for a while. I no longer crave it and I'd rather spend the extra calories on something else.
Total Calories: 881
Last edited on 21 July 2012 11:17 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 July 2012 11:57 pm |
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Weight: 159.0
Yeah, looks like I lost weight during vacation after all! It's amazing what a little bit of control does. Of course, it didn't hurt that I did a half ironman as well, but I ate a lot of that back. I think the drop in weight has a lot to do with sticking to my eating plan and minimizing the amount of food rewards I would allow myself.
Yesterday I didn't eat much, but I wasn't feeling that great. I was tired and my body felt sore. This morning my shoulder hurt so much I couldn't even push the grocery cart at Costco. I think it's time to take some meds for the inflammation.
Today I'm feeling pretty hungry. I've been trying to keep the calories low by snacking on carrots and salad, but it's just not enough right now. I only have 400 calories left for the day, which is not good because we're going out to dinner with family. I think I'm going to have to let myself have a couple hundred extra calories for dinner.
Total Calories: 2097Last edited on 22 July 2012 05:32 am by mchen01
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JamesH
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 27 November 2011 |
| Location: | Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 435 |
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Posted: 22 July 2012 12:51 pm |
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Michelle, Northern California has been on my wish list for a long time. Do not know when it will happen but I will make it out to do the Big Sur highway, the Redwood National Park and Fisherman's Warf. Can now add Napa Valley and the geyser to this list.
You did great keeping your eating under control while on vacation. It helps to develop good habits to help get through the tough times. Hope that I can be this successful next month when I take my family to the beach.
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 July 2012 09:03 pm |
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Thanks James! Good luck with the trip to the beach. Remember to have an eating plan ready and stick to it. You can do it!
Weight: 159.8
Yesterday I didn't count my calories at all. I think I just needed a break. Plus, I was tired and cranky from my shoulder pain. It just made me want to medicate with food. I wanted that sense of comfort, if only for a short moment. I think for the most part, I followed my rules and ate well. I had a couple of mess ups, one of them having to do with not reading a food label very well. Since I don't eat this particular bread very often, I didn't think about the food label when I made myself a peanut butter sandwich. I checked the label after for recording and found that one serving was HALF a slice of bread. Stupid food companies! That screwed me up by over 300 calories. Dang it! That's a lot of calories to lose for just one slice of bread. Other than that I had a half cup of soft serve with chocolate syrup and almonds. Is it TTOM? I'm having chocolate cravings lately too.
We went out to the movies yesterday and saw the animated Disney film, Brave. I was thoroughly enchanted by the Scottish accents and loved seeing a positive mother-daughter theme for once (no wicked stepmother). This time, it was a little harder resisting the popcorn. I don't know why. I didn't feel hungry. Luckily, I had some sweet peppers that I had packed in my purse for on-the-go munchies, and that gave me something to keep my mouth busy. So that was a good lesson to learn, that it helps to have healthy snacks on hand for non-routine days (weekends) when there is more exposure to high reward (highly palatable) foods, and when my resolve is not at its strongest.
I think I need to be especially careful about stress eating for the next couple of weeks. I have some new tasks and projects at work, as well as a big deadline in a couple days. Plus, I will be teaching music theory to both kids for a violin certification, and my son has asked me to teach him some programming. Today I missed a meeting because my daughter was held up at school taking a test for summer school, and I only got 5 hours of sleep because I had to take her and some of her teammates to water polo practice. I also need to coordinate with the contractor to finish up our renovation and about fixing a few things too. Somewhere in there I need to fit in my training, at least as much as my body will allow.
So, my latest weight exercise is to update my power list with some things I accomplished from vacation. I also want to review what I have written for stress eating. I think at times like this I need to find something that is more rewarding than my regular salad but still low calorie. I'm thinking of making a broccoli and raisin salad, which is a little calorie dense, but not as bad as a bag of oreos.
Total Calories: 1570
Last edited on 24 July 2012 06:14 pm by mchen01
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 July 2012 10:43 pm |
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Nice job on having some good healthy alternatives for the movies, that is huge, especially when you really wanted popcorn. Nice job.
I know what you mean about stress eating, at least you are aware and ready to fight it so you have more than half the battle won. Good luck.
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 July 2012 06:14 pm |
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Thanks Hiker! I miss the popcorn, but not enough to go through the emotional turmoil I feel after I eat it. Remembering the negative feelings and having healthy snacks both work together to get me through those tough times.
Weight: 162.4
Weight is high today, but that's what I get for eating too many salty foods. No biggie. I know it always comes down in a couple days. Yesterday, my mom put out some of my favorite traditional Chinese foods (preserved black duck eggs and preserved veggies, foods only I and my son like to eat). They are not that high in calories but there is tons of sodium.
Calories were also a little high. I ended up having my monthly chocolate craving and went a little overboard. The funny thing about chocolate is that I only need it bad that one time a month. I keep a jar of chocolate candies on my desk and have no trouble staying away from it. (It's for my co-workers as an incentive to stop by my desk and say hi. It helps me keep in touch with what's happening around the workplace.) But once a month, usually just one day, I have to dig into that jar and have a little binge, roughly 300 calories worth. It bothers me that I can't understand why that happens. Without understanding, I feel powerless to control it. So for now, I'm resigned to let it happen as it's not too detrimental to my overall diet, and it's just too hard to fight.
There are some foods that are really tough for me to resist, especially once I start eating them. Some of them I've already identified and so I don't eat them at all. This includes movie popcorn, potato chips, donuts and most cookies. After indulging in vacation foods that I haven't touched in a long time, I now realize that butter is one of those foods I'm going to have to completely give up for some time. I had one pat of butter spread on 2 slices of bread, and ever since I've been craving butter big time. I don't like it when my cravings feel almost painful and agonizing to resist. That's what butter feels like now. That may be why the movie popcorn was extra hard on me this time. At least the craving is dying down again, and I know that I'll have to stay away from it for peace of mind. I know that that someday, my attitudes about food will change so much that controlling my cravings for these high reward foods will no longer be so hard. For now, it is almost comforting to give them up and know I won't have to go through this mental struggle again.
One thing I forgot to mention (and I just put in my power list) was that my family visited a farmers market during our vacation (I was in the middle of a race). Since the area was rural, there was a huge variety of fruits and vegetables. They bought cherries, broccoli, tomatoes, portabello mushrooms and garlic. I wish had gone, but now I think that it would be great to hit up a farmers market at the beginning of every vacation to start off my diet with something new and fun.
Total Calories: 1237
Last edited on 25 July 2012 05:15 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 July 2012 06:28 pm |
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Power List
1. I can do everything my food coach recommends with no problem.
2. This will be a big turning point for me.
3. I don't need to reward myself with food.
4. It is normal and healthy to be hungry several times a day.
5. I can stay away from the fattening snacks at meetings.
6. The diet does not end on the weekends but continues for life.
7. I will never again need to buy larger size clothes.
8. I am able to stay away from the samples at Costco.
9. I'm ok with throwing away food.
10. I feel really really good when I meet my calorie goal.
11. Not eating popcorn at the theater saves me a lot of calories as well as money.
12. I don't have to eat everything on my plate.
13. I can stay within my goal at any restaurant by making the right choices and eating moderate amounts.
14. I can always bring fresh fruit on vacations for breakfast and snacks.
15. I will become a better athlete.
16. Every failure is a learning experience and a chance to grow stronger and gain more control over food.
17. Managing my diet during vacation is not a problem given a proper eating plan and the conviction to follow it.
18. Renting a vacation home with a kitchen allows me to keep and prepare healthy foods and to minimize my exposure to high calorie, high reward foods.
19. Local farmers markets are fun places to visit and to find new varieties of fruits and vegetables to make my vacation diet more exciting.
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 July 2012 04:53 pm |
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Weight: 160.4
Weight is coming back down, but the average weight drop has really slowed down. Maybe this is from vacation. I'm going to stick with my current calorie goal for another 2 weeks and if I'm still losing too little, I'm going to reduce my goal.
Yesterday was a high stress day. I knew that it was going to be a potential binge day if I didn't do something about it, so I worked out more than my usual. I had yoga at lunch and then after work I went on a slow run followed by my strength training routine. Working out in the evenings is great at holding back a potential binge. I'm usually not very hungry for a couple hours after a workout. I had dinner at 9pm and that kept me mostly full while I worked until midnight.
It's hard to take that extra hour or two to get out and exercise when my schedule is already so full. My mind rebels at the "wasted" time away from work, but I really need to keep exercise as a part of my stress handling strategy. Besides the reduction in stress, the endorphins from working out also make me more alert and able to concentrate better.
That's not to say that I didn't have the usual stress related cravings after my workout. Yes, I wasn't very hungry, but that never stops the cravings entirely. I guess my habits are so strongly ingrained that it's going to take a while for my behavior modifications to take full effect. So, I did indulge in a little chocolate, but it was only 40 calories worth. That little bit of chocolate helped, but it didn't shut down the eating monster entirely. I did the usual circuit around the kitchen, going through my habit of looking for food while my new habits struggled to take over in my mindless routine. When I finally realized what I was doing, I did my little pep talk to myself and said I'm done eating, I'm full, and I'm not going to let food have so much control over me. And that was that. No more cravings.
I find that doubt and indecision are my worst enemies when it comes to overeating. If I stop to think about whether I should eat something bad, I start to lose the battle. Being wishy washy prolongs the agony of the cravings and makes it harder to resist the longer I try to make up my mind. It's always about the anticipation of regret, of missing what I want and can't have. But once I make the absolute decision to not give into a craving, the relief is almost instant. There is never any regret. I know this now, but it doesn't quite make this battle go away entirely. Old behaviors die hard, but I intend on staying strong, and if I'm not able to kill this behavior entirely, I'm going to beat it down so that it's so weak I'll be able to ignore it with barely a flick of a thought.
Anyway, today is going to be another tough day. I've only had less than 5 hours of sleep, and while I figured out one bug, I've found an entirely new one. Grrr! It looks like I might miss my deadline after all.
Total Calories: 1205
Last edited on 27 July 2012 07:14 pm by mchen01
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Nancy_in_GA
Moderator
| Joined: | 8 January 2009 |
| Location: | NE, Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 2440 |
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Posted: 25 July 2012 07:06 pm |
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mchen01 wrote:
I find that doubt and indecision are my worst enemies when it comes to overeating. If I stop to think about whether I should eat something bad, I start to lose the battle. Being wishy washy prolongs the agony of the cravings and makes it harder to resist the longer I try to make up my mind. It's always about the anticipation of regret, of missing what I want and can't have. But once I make the absolute decision to not give into a craving, the relief is almost instant. There is never any regret. I know this now, but it doesn't quite make this battle go away entirely. Old behaviors die hard, but I intend on staying strong, and if I'm not able to kill this behavior entirely, I'm going to beat it down so that it's so weak I'll be able to ignore it with barely a flick of a thought.
That is such a great paragraph, mchen. I do the exact same thing. Going to try to use your method to stop it in its tracks. Good for you!!!
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 July 2012 08:58 pm |
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Thanks Nancy! When my weight management coach first tried to explain to me about being committed to my decisions about my diet, the importance didn't quite sink in until I finally experienced what happens. The first time I was able to make an absolute decision to not eat something, the craving went away so quickly and easily. It was amazing, and I never would have believed it if I hadn't experienced it. But repeating this exercise does not come easily and takes a lot of practice, hence my daily struggle with being wishy washy.
Weight: 159.6
The weight is still coming down but slowly. It's hard to watch my weight loss slow down, but I have to remember that my daily weight is not something that I can fully control. All I can control is what I eat, and that's the only thing I should be concerned about.
It's been a little over 2 months since I started the behavior modifications to stop my overeating habits. While I've gained a lot of control, I feel that the strength of my control is very unstable. When I went on vacation, I indulged in foods that I had not eaten for a long time. It seems that my brain had forgotten how pleasurable these foods were, and so my cravings were not as strong as they used to be. It got a lot easier to say no to these foods. But now that I've refreshed my memory of these highly palatable foods, my cravings have come back stronger and I have to work harder at saying no.
I have a 2 or 3 trips to do this year, so there's the vacation eating plan to bring back again. I think I will modify it a bit. I'll still allow myself a small increase in calories, but I'm going to eat foods that are not as rewarding for me. For instance, if I were to get dessert my favorites would be anything with chocolate, especially if it's super rich and has cake in it. Rather than eat a high reward food like that, I could compromise with maybe something that's still sweet but not so rich. It would still be pleasurable, but it wouldn't be as highly arousing and memorable so I'm hoping it won't sink in as a trigger. I've got to wait until I have stronger control over my eating habits, or I risk getting tired of fighting the same battle and eventually losing the war.
Healthwise, I'm doing very well. I just did my annual health assessment at work and as usual, my cholesterol and glucose levels are outstanding. My blood pressure is normal for my age, but I wish it was a little lower. My resting heartrate was excellent at only 45 bpm. But then there's the body fat. My body fat was measured at 31%. For the average woman, it's an acceptable level, but for an athlete it sucks. At least I'm making progress, and it's comforting to know that this time I have the key to success and I'm going to get where I want to be.
Total Calories: 1090
Last edited on 27 July 2012 07:15 pm by mchen01
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 July 2012 10:06 pm |
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Nancy_in_GA wrote: mchen01 wrote:
I find that doubt and indecision are my worst enemies when it comes to overeating. If I stop to think about whether I should eat something bad, I start to lose the battle. Being wishy washy prolongs the agony of the cravings and makes it harder to resist the longer I try to make up my mind. It's always about the anticipation of regret, of missing what I want and can't have. But once I make the absolute decision to not give into a craving, the relief is almost instant. There is never any regret. I know this now, but it doesn't quite make this battle go away entirely. Old behaviors die hard, but I intend on staying strong, and if I'm not able to kill this behavior entirely, I'm going to beat it down so that it's so weak I'll be able to ignore it with barely a flick of a thought.
That is such a great paragraph, mchen. I do the exact same thing. Going to try to use your method to stop it in its tracks. Good for you!!!
I can certainly learn from you guys and this makes so much sense. I liked this so much I copied it to a word document and saved it in my healthy living folder I keep on my computer. I hope you don't mind, I do think it is something I can learn from and will need to refer back to many times in the coming months.
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 July 2012 07:13 pm |
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Thanks Hiker! You are welcome to copy the text. I get a lot of it from my weight management coach and the books and videos I've read and watched, so my thoughts are most likely second and third hand.
Weight 159.0
Gosh, so close to being in the 158s. I've been too long in the 159-161 range, I'm ready to move on. Do you hear that fat? I'm ready to move on. You can leave now. No thank you for visiting and please don't come back.
I took some time to review my journal and I see that my enthusiasm and commitment has gone down a bit. I've gotten a little negative and I need to bring back the positive, the joy that I feel every time I see a sign of progress.
So, here's some good stuff to be proud and happy about:
1. Yesterday I got out for another short run after dinner. I didn't overeat, just enough to make my hunger go away, so I felt fine to run just 15 minutes after dinner. I was just in time to run into a beautiful pink and purple sunset along the beach. My ankle feels better and my heart was full of peace and joy in my surroundings. The stress from work melted away, and I came back home with my cravings gone and ready to do some work before bed. Yay me!
2. My control over eating has been really strong this week. I've actually been eating less than my goal without having to monitor my calories before dinner. I'm getting better at eating just enough to be comfortable - hunger is gone but I still feel light, like I hardly ate. That feeling is so empowering. In the past, every meal that I've been overeating at has left me temporarily disabled. I hate that I used to call it comfortably stuffed. There is no comfort in being so full that my waistband feels too tight and I can't move. It's a waste of time when I feel so overly satiated that I want to rest while I digest my food. Coming down from a food high just leaves me feeling wasted. Well, no more of that. I love it when my energy bounces back from a meal instead of being depleted. I love the restorative feeling of a light meal. I love that my control over food is coming back stronger than ever. Yay me!
3. I have no doubt that I'm winning my battle with overeating this time. I'm armed with the right kind of knowledge to address my issues with food. Being able to understand what drives my overeating has given me the power to overcome this mindless behavior. My mind is strong, and my resolve is set. Go me! Yay!
4. My diet is manageable and easy to follow. I get to eat up to 1400 calories of any food I choose to eat. After that, I'm allowed to eat as much as I want as long as it's only veggies. I never have to be afraid of hunger. I never have to feel deprived. All of my energy is spent building my control by practicing simple mind exercises instead of the pointless battle of wills in a diet I can never sustain. I'm no longer distracted by hunger. I'm no longer angry at not being able to enjoy what I eat. I'm no longer frustrated at constantly falling off the wagon. Yaaaaayyyyy!!
Total Calories: 1406
Last edited on 28 July 2012 07:29 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 July 2012 01:26 am |
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161.4
I ate extra yesterday (1885 calories) just because I was really hungry. I had a huge salad, trying out some new salad options. I've been getting bored with eating the same thing every day. It's ok at work, but I find that on the weekends I crave more sugar and fat. (Maybe it's the longer workouts.) So, I decided to let myself have higher calorie options on the weekends. That means splurging on dressing and such.
So, today's salad was a 5 cups of broccoli with 40 g raisins, 30 g cashews and 2 slices of canadian bacon. I didn't bother making dressing since I found a bottle of Salad Cream (sunshine in a bottle) that works just as well. Total calories for this huge salad was about 700, 578 if I don't count the broccoli (don't know why I weighed some ingredients but not others). It was a little high, but it also filled me up more than I thought it would. Next time I think I'll cut it in half, and hopefully that will be enough to keep me full until the next meal.
There's also something else I want to make but it'll have to wait until I get to the Asian market. I really like vegetable spring rolls with sweet chili sauce. The only calories I'll need to worry about will be the rice wrapper which is 100 calories and the sauce which is 50 cal/tbs. If I make 2 large spring rolls then that will only be 300 calories. These will definitely be satisfying and appealing at the same time.
Anyway, other than the extra food yesterday, I blame the weight gain on bloating due to PMS. I'm so swollen that I can't even take my ring off my finger. It looks like it may be a few days before I'm back below 160.
Total Calories: 1298Last edited on 30 July 2012 03:29 am by mchen01
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 July 2012 11:49 am |
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Michelle, first thank you for your help over the weekend. I used some of your ideas and as you saw in my diary, they did help a lot.
I know what you mean about wanting a little more on the weekends. One way that I handle that is I can lose on 1400 calories a day so what I do is Monday -Thursday I keep it under 1300 and then on the Friday, Saturday and Sunday I allow myself 1500 so in the end it basically averages out but it gives me a little wiggle room on the week end and becuase it's only 200 calories I can't go crazy which I would be very apt to do  .
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 July 2012 05:11 pm |
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Thanks Hiker! That may certainly be an option. My weight management coach has told me the same thing, that I can adjust my calorie intake to give me the average goal for the week. I'm still trying to see if there's a pattern to my hunger. Some days I go way below goal and some days, well, you know.
Weight: 159.6
Yesterday went well in terms of meeting my calorie goal, but it was a little harder. I've been having chocolate cravings. I bought a bag of semi-sweet mini chocolate chips with the thought of giving myself a small dessert every once in a while (chocolate chips on a scoop of vanilla ice cream). I've been anticipating having this last night when I realized I didn't have much room for it. I made the decision that it wasn't worth it, and I could wait another week before I indulged. It wasn't an easy decision, nor was it a difficult decision. It wasn't easy in that I had set myself up to expect it and so it was harder to change that expectation. Once I made the decision though, it was easy to follow through. I'm finding that it's slowly getting easier to delay my need for a food reward.
This morning I also had a craving for butter. I actually took the butter out, rationalizing that I would only have a light spread. But wait, didn't I just put butter on my list of absolute have-nots?! Why yes I did. Sigh. Back in the refrigerator it went. The alternative was half a tablespoon of peanut butter. It satisfied me without taking me into the danger zone. I'm so glad I stayed strong and made the switch. In the end it will be better to not have these annoying cravings nag at me every day.
I also finally got my lazy tush out of bed at 5 AM this morning to go for a swim. It helped to drag the girl out with me. Now that her water polo camp is done, I need to do something to keep her in shape for the start of the school season. It will also help to get used to getting up early since her classes will now start at 6:30 every morning. Anyway, my shoulder is still not good. I'm not using the form I did for the race, because I don't want it to become habit. But the stress on my shoulder is back so I'm trying to take it easier. I've decided to just do short intervals, concentrating on form and not worrying about yardage for now. I stop at every length to rest the shoulder, but it's pretty sore right now. I think I'll start wearing my zoomers to help me out a little more.
My weight is down today, but I'm still feeling swollen with water weight. The ring is still stuck on my finger. That's great though. That means I still have hope of getting below 159 very soon. It may be Monday, but it's starting out to be a pretty good day.
Total Calories: 1526
Last edited on 31 July 2012 08:28 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 31 July 2012 09:31 pm |
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Weight: 159.6
I ate a little too much yesterday, which kind of surprised me until I realized I had forgotten to record my breakfast until late in the evening. I thought I was under for the day so I allowed myself a little snack of wheat thins. Then I remembered the english muffin with peanut butter that I had for breakfast, and that added 229 calories to my total. Eating breakfast is not a common thing for me. It's so hard to have time to eat when I have to get going so early in the morning, and when I do I'm often in the eat and run mode, so when I do have breakfast I often forget to record it. I just need to be more diligent about recording my food as soon as I eat it.
Other than that, I did very well for dinner. I weighed out my cornbread and chili. (It won't be entirely accurate since I don't have the actual ingredients weighed out, but it should be close enough.) Total weight of dinner was just under 10 oz. That was light enough for me to feel energized and ready for a run. The hubby and the boy went with me this time. It's always nice to have someone to run with.
I'm still having bloating issues. I'll be glad when that goes away. I'm so anxious to see what I weigh without all the extra water. Besides that, my tummy is starting to cramp. It bothered me all through yoga today. That and some hunger pangs.
One thing I've learned about hunger is that I had the wrong attitude about it. I used to be afraid of hunger pangs, like I couldn't tolerate the sensations in my stomach. But then my weight coach taught me that little hunger pangs are normal throughout the day. I also read that normal weight people can wait until meal times when they feel hunger, while overweight people tend to try to relieve hunger pangs right away. I was of the second category. I don't think I even gave myself the chance to feel hunger very often. I got so used to grazing and snacking constantly that I stopped feeling hungry. Now, I'm learning the varying intensities of my hunger and that I too can tolerate waiting for meal times. I no longer snack regularly. Rather, I keep snacks on hand for those times when I'm not able to meet my regular meal time, and then I reduce my regular meal to offset the snack. This has been a pretty successful habit change and one of the easier ones to do.
Total Calories: 1513
Last edited on 1 August 2012 03:57 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 1 August 2012 05:57 pm |
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Weight: 157.4
Whew! Finally! There's that drop in weight that I've been waiting for, and I totally bypassed 158! Very nice to see and very motivating.
Today I'm looking at what stage of change I'm in with my diet, my permanent diet. I think I'm pretty set in the conscious competence stage. I'm fairly consistent with counting my calories and I'm good at meeting my daily average goal. I'm not quite at the unconscious competence stage as I still have to read my daily reminders to maintain my focus, and I still struggle a bit with controlling my urge to binge on certain foods. Some days I can feel it becoming second nature, so I know I'm slowly venturing into that stage of mastering my diet. I'm confident that I'm safely out of the conscious incompetence stage. I no longer whine and complain about not being able to control my diet. I don't make any more excuses for myself. Instead I seek the resources and skills to get me there.
I also have to think about some things that I can do that reflect my success. One of them is through clothes, for me maybe athletic gear. I still like to hide my body under loose clothes, mostly tops. Very few of my tops are tight and fitted. I have one fitted top that I wear only for races because I need something that fits well under my wetsuit. I don't wear it otherwise because of my race photos. I hate the way my belly and fat, flabby arms stand out in race photos when I wear that top. To think that I might someday look good in a top like that is a little bewildering. I can't even imagine it happening. Getting there would mean a lot to me though. It would be a very satisfying reflection of my success, one that I can celebrate with each new race photo.
As for yesterday's diet. I did eat a little extra in the way of chocolate. I thought my cravings were gone, but they hit me again yesterday. I had a snack size snickers and a tablespoon of mini chocolate chips. At least the smaller portions helped me from going overboard.
Total Calories: 1335
Last edited on 2 August 2012 04:14 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 2 August 2012 05:40 pm |
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Weight: 158.2
In the past 2 months I've lost an average of 7 lb. That's about 0.88 lb/week. Yeah, it's a little slow but it's consistent and sustainable. I've read that a body that's been overweight for a long time tends to resist weight loss. The brain chemistry is different in very overweight people, and too drastic a change in diet can causes stresses (depression, anxiety, fatigue...) that create likelihood of binging. I've been overweight for more than 20 years. Doing it slowly by making small incremental changes to my diet helps minimize these withdrawal symptoms.
I'm pretty happy with my progress, in which I measure the strength of my control over food more than the actual weight loss. I have a few leftover larger size clothes which I've kept for more than 3 years to accomodate "unintended" weight gain. It's time to get rid of them. I promise to never be more than a size 8 ever again, and that's just the beginning. When I get to a size 6 I get to make a new promise to myself. Cool! I'm looking forward to that day.
Now, about the new clothes that I've been thinking about. I was a little afraid of committing to a new wardrobe that reflects a new body by a certain date. I've been worried about not being able to meet the 6 month deadline to wear a new outfit. After talking to my weight coach, I realize being afraid is not my true character. Being unable to control my eating and weight has left me with insecurities I didn't know I had until now. I'm usually not afraid to fail. That's why I love racing and doing new things. Of all things to be afraid of, why should I be afraid of my body? So, no more fear. I'm going to take on each new goal like I do for each new race. I'm going to train my body and mind to get where it needs to be, to be the best that I can be.
So here's 2 of the 3 set of 6 month progressive goals to reach (I still need to think about the last set of goals). The first one will be a set of racing clothes I will transition into, clothes that I normally don't wear because of the bulges and unsightly lines of my body. The first triathlon tank top is fitted and sleeveless. The second tank top is a little skimpier and shows more of the shoulders and maybe even a little belly. The fitted running shorts are last as the fat around my upper thighs will be the hardest to lose.
Things to wear:
1. triathlon tank top
2. fitted running tank top
3. fitted running shorts
The races will be even more exciting now that I've associated them with a higher goal. I'd already signed up for the Mt Baldy run as a fun run, but now I want to see if I will last longer going uphill (My last hill run, I lasted only a mile before I had to start walking). Being lighter will surely help there. The Ironman is also already on my schedule, but with my new weight I want to beat my previous time. The Carlsbad marathon is something I hadn't signed up for yet, but one of the major reasons for losing weight was to qualify for the Boston Marathon someday. If I continue to lose weight at the rate I'm currently at, then I could be at 135 lb by January. That's 35 lb lighter than when I ran the Los Angeles Marathon. I finished LA in 4 hours 32 minutes. Qualifying time for Boston would be 3 hours 55 minutes. The weight loss alone will save me about 30 minutes, which means I would need to make up about 7 minutes by getting stronger. At least it's possible. So, I'm going to go for it. After the Ironman, I'm going to train for Carlsbad as if I was going for a BQ.
Races:
1. Mt Baldy Run to the Top (September 2012)
2. Arizona Ironman (November 2012)
3. Carlsbad Marathon (January 2013) BQ 
Total Calories: 1170
Last edited on 3 August 2012 04:44 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 3 August 2012 05:41 pm |
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Weight: 157.6
I'm feeling pretty tired lately. I've had to move my morning workouts to the afternoon because I feel so sore in the morning. I think I've been sleeping on my bad shoulder and that just makes my whole right side stiffen up. Sleep has not been good unless I'm totally exhausted. Maybe I'll get a good one tonight. TGIF!
As if work wasn't busy enough, I'm ramping back up on a couple projects. I'm signed up to do 80 hours of work a week in only 40 hours. I think people have too much confidence in my abilities. At least my workouts are not too heavy yet, and I can devote some of my spare time to work.
So, life is stressful once again. My brain has been nagging me with requests for chocolate and donuts for comfort. Lately, I've been managing my craving with a small taste every night, but that just leaves me with a fresh memory of how good it tastes and how I'd love to have a little more. For now, I'm not going to be too concerned with it. So far I've been able to control how much I eat, and the cravings are not overpowering.
At least my run last night left me too tired to remember the chocolate I had saved for before bedtime. I felt so relaxed after my run that I fell asleep in my sweaty clothes while I was stretching. I got the boy to go run with me and we had a great time. I'm so proud of him. There are not many 12 year olds who can easily manage 5-7 mile runs and keep up a good conversation. He's still full of curiosity. Our runs give him a chance to ask me all kinds of questions. I love it. Besides, it won't be long before he turns into a surly teenager, and I'll be lucky if I can get a response beyond a grunt and a shoulder shrug.
Anyway, I don't know if not having the chocolate last night broke the cycle or if my craving is finally satisfied, but I don't feel like having any more chocolate. Instead, today I feel like I could eat a dozen soft boiled eggs.
Total Calories: 1400
Last edited on 4 August 2012 05:39 pm by mchen01
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Hiker
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Posted: 3 August 2012 09:11 pm |
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| A dozen eggs is a lot better than a bunch of chocolate . You sound like you are under a lot of stress at work, I am sure that at least contributes to your cravings. As I am sure you know exercise is a good alternative to giving into cravings. It tough to go for a run when you want chocolate but sometimes it does work and I know you are so good about exercising you will. Hope those cravings end soon.
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mchen01
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Posted: 4 August 2012 06:14 pm |
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Thanks Hiker! Yes, it definitely helps to keep moving, moving, moving instead of eating, eating, eating.
Weight: 157.2
I love being a loser! I'm not sure if I'll be able to get below 157 buy the end of this weekend, but I'm going to try. I'm so excited. My last lowest weight was 156 a few years ago. I'm so close to breaking that. Before that my weight was 127 over 20 years ago. I don't know what my new management weight will be. I know what I'm hoping for, but I'll settle for whatever feels right.
Last night I still had cravings for sweet stuff. I had done about a 20 mile ride before dinner, and then did another hour of work after dinner. I thought I would be done and ready for bed, but the sweets craving would not leave me alone. I checked my total calories for the day, and from what I had left I measured out a little bit of ice cream with chocolate chips to stay within goal. That little taste was enough and I felt good about being able to control my diet and keep myself happy and satisfied.
I have to remember that it's not about abstinence from certain foods, but about managing the quantity and minimizing certain types of food. I still have to enjoy what I eat. That's the only way I'm going to be able to sustain my diet.
Total Calories: 1806
Last edited on 6 August 2012 08:05 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 August 2012 06:01 am |
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Weight: 158.8
I had a good day today. I finally did some fit changes to the new tri bike. I got in a short but quality ride on the trainer and a nice hour long run with the hubby and boy. The saddle on my bike was very uncomfortable, too narrow and a funky nose that digs into my pubic bone. I need to make up my mind and get myself a new saddle. It's only 3.5 months until the Ironman and I need to get used to the new bike.
Diet went well today too. I really wanted something sweet to drink and found some old crystal light packets in the cupboard. They're probably 2 years old, but I guess they never age. I'm usually good with water but today I was glad I had those lemonade flavor packets lying around, only 10 calories each.
Total Calories: 1368
Last edited on 6 August 2012 08:06 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 6 August 2012 08:54 pm |
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Weight: 160.4
I don't know what I ate, but I'm holding a lot of water weight today and my stomach aches. It was such a huge bummer to see my weight get above 160. It's not going to last beyond today though. I'm going to drink tons of water and get it back down.
This weekend I splurged on a milkshake. It was one of those absolutely have to have foods because I'd been too long without it. It felt so good to finally have one that I could have eaten 3. It was a little earlier than I had planned, but I had to take the family to the mall unexpectedly so it was the perfect time to have one. I tried my best to balance out my total calories for the day, but had a large breakfast before I realized we were going to the mall. Lunch though was less than 250 calories and dinner was only 165 calories. It wasn't great, but going over my goal by 400 calories is something I can recover from.
In the past, if I had a small binge like the milkshake, I would have given up on the rest of the day and binged on everything. I find I don't want to do that anymore. I don't like not being in control of my diet. Having the milkshake was great, but I was ready to jump back on the horse right away. After the shake, we went to dinner at the mall, and I split a sandwich and fries with my mom. I ate half of the fries and brought the sandwich home. I couldn't stop thinking about how much that milkshake was going to cost me, and so I lost my appetite. I'm glad I'm placing more and more importance on eating properly now. Even though I still have my bad moments, I bounce back from them much quicker.
I am very pleased to see Curiosity landed on Mars safely. The moment brought tears to my eyes and I wanted to jump for joy with the people in the control room. The landing was so complex that it was chock full of risk. It would have been a disaster for the space program if it had crashed. I am always amazed at what the human race is able to acheive. At 2.5 billion, the rover was estimated to cost about $7 dollars per person in the U.S. That's about how much I paid for my milkshake. I'd rather give my money to NASA. Go NASA!
Total Calories: 1363
Last edited on 7 August 2012 05:28 pm by mchen01
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Hiker
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Posted: 6 August 2012 10:07 pm |
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mchen01 wrote: In the past, if I had a small binge like the milkshake, I would have given up on the rest of the day and binged on everything. I find I don't want to do that anymore. I don't like not being in control of my diet. Having the milkshake was great, but I was ready to jump back on the horse right away. After the shake, we went to dinner at the mall, and I split a sandwich and fries with my mom. I ate half of the fries and brought the sandwich home. I couldn't stop thinking about how much that milkshake was going to cost me, and so I lost my appetite. I'm glad I'm placing more and more importance on eating properly now. Even though I still have my bad moments, I bounce back from them much quicker.
Michelle, I think this paragraph is a huge accomplishment and one of the reasons you are successful. It is something I too am trying to learn. You are so right, it isn't a big deal to recover from 400 extra calories but if you had used it as an excuse to binge all day it might have been 2000 extra, or at least it could be for me. I think you did the right thing, when you really, really want somethng sometimes it's best just to have it and move on.
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mchen01
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Posted: 7 August 2012 06:11 pm |
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Thanks Hiker. Yeah, I'm not trying to be a saint with my diet. I just want to have enough control that I can manage my weight and stop this crazy roller coaster ride.
Weight: 160.8
It's really disappointing to see the weight go up when I'm doing everything right. At least I know where it's coming from. My body is just not behaving well, and I'm just going to have to do a better job with hydrating. So despite the disappointment, I'm going to have to remind myself to stay the course and not let the higher weight be an excuse to give up and binge. Instead, it should p|ss me off and give me more incentive to work harder. So yes, darn it, I'm mad. I'm going to "convince" my body that it needs to be at 156 or less by the end of this week.
Work is still super busy. I'm trying to stay optimistic when people come to me with their project always having the highest priority. I can't even give my own research project priority, much less theirs. But instead of being resentful, I have to remind myself that their success is also my success. They come to me for help because I'm the only one who can help, and every project affords some learning opportunity for me as well. The only thing at work I'm going to have to decline is a conference they've asked me to attend next week. It would be a good conference to attend and I would be able to meet some teammates from Seattle, but I don't think I can handle the stress of being away from work and home right now.
I still need to finish a weight exercise about visualizing success. The last part was to find some places to go to or people to see that I've been avoiding because of my weight. The only place/people I've been avoiding are my old cross country teammates. They have a reunion and 1 mile race every year. Never mind that I'm not able to do the mile in a decent time anymore. I don't even look good in running shorts. Most of my teammates can still wear their college uniforms. I look at my old uniform and think it must have shrunk several sizes because it looks like it was made for a child. Very sad.
Other than that, there's really not too many places I'd like to go. The only other place would be the beach, and that would be only if I wear a swimsuit and not feel the need to cover up. But wait, maybe it's about what I'm able to wear to these places and not just the place. I like going to concert orchestras, but I usually don't dress too fancy for them. Maybe this time I should plan a concert with a nice new outfit that shows off my new size. Now that would be a nice incentive and reflection of my success. I would love a pretty new dress and someplace to wear it.
So here's the rest of my goals that reflect my successful weight loss:
Places to go:
1. The beach, wearing a swimsuit instead of shorts and t-shirt.
2. An orchestra concert, wearing a new, fitted cocktail dress.
3. My cross country reunion.
Total Calories: 1090
Last edited on 8 August 2012 04:17 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 August 2012 05:08 pm |
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Weight: 157.8
There's the weight I need to see. I'm going to be super diligent on my diet through this weekend to try to get below 157. I'm definitely staying away from salt, and I'm going to keep my breakfast small and my lunches a huge salad. I liked the broccoli salad I made a couple weeks ago and plan to make that again Friday night so it's ready to eat on Saturday after my long ride.
I got super busy yesterday and didn't get a chance to write in my journal, but I did log my food. Total calories was 1339. I'm happy to see that I've reached a routine where my diet is almost intuitive. Since I eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch, and they both total about 700 calories, I get to splurge on dinner and still have enough for a tasty snack. Dinner was a few BBQ pork spareribs with corn on the cob. I had enough calories left for a couple pieces of chocolate for dessert. I find that the day at work goes so quickly that I don't really care about food, and so I can eat a light and boring salad and not even notice the lack of taste. But when I come home tired and hungry, I need something tastier and heartier, something with more meat. That's what works for me.
I have a circle of friends at work who like to grow their own vegetables and fruit too. We exchange foods from our gardens all the time. Earlier I got some avocados, what type I don't know but they had an almost smoky flavor and went well with my tuna salad. Yesterday someone else gave me a couple rocoto peppers. I can't wait to try those. I love super hot and spicy foods. I'm going to save the seeds and see if I can grow my own peppers. Right now I just have some jalapeno and cayenne peppers in my yard.
Total Calories: 1420
Last edited on 10 August 2012 08:29 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 August 2012 08:14 pm |
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Weight: 157.6
Today is starting out bad. I've already eaten foods with too much sodium for breakfast, so now I'm trying to drown myself with water to flush it out. My mom is babying me with food today, and as usual I don't have to heart to say no when she wants to take care of me. I had a skin biopsy done this morning. It's in a sensitive spot and I'm feeling pretty sore. It's probably an old age barnacle, but the doctor thought it was better to have it checked out.
I've been really tired the past few days too. I'm doing the minimum workouts, and all I want to do is sleep. And eat. I have an urge to binge on something sweet. I could eat a dozen donuts pretty easily right now. Stupid food. I hate the sudden cravings and the strong urge to eat. What do I gain by giving in anyway? A momentary bliss of sugar melting on my tongue. Is it that worth it? When I stop to think about it, no it's not. But that's the hard part. I have to stop and think about it, and getting to that point still takes some time. In that short amount of time while I battle the urge to not give in, I suffer the craving on will power alone. But once I'm able to go through my mental exercises where I belittle the craving and apply negativity to the food, there's no need for will power anymore. The craving goes away.
Since I've had such strong sweet cravings for a while now, I think it's time to go ahead and allow myself a little extra indulgence to stave off a potential breakdown. Tomorrow I'm doing a 4 hour bike ride. I get to eat 800-900 calories during my ride. That's about 15 oreo cookies. I know it's bad to be excited about this, but I can't wait for my ride tomorrow. Now that I've given myself permission to eat those cookies, I want them really really badly. I hope this doesn't backfire on me.
Total Calories: 1639
Last edited on 12 August 2012 04:22 am by mchen01
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 August 2012 04:21 am |
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Weight: 158.0
Knowing I was going to get to eat cookies during my ride gave me the incentive to not eating anything sweet last night. I did go over my goal because of the big breakfast my mom fed me, but I think I rode most of it off this morning.
Today's plan was a 60 mile ride and 30 minute run. The weather was very hot, in the 90s by the beach and over 100 in the inland areas and with over 65% humidity. I'm usually not too bad in hot weather but maybe today was different I don't know what happened but I really bonked on the ride. The first 40 miles went fine, but then I started to feel pain in my right foot. At first it was just a hot spot, but towards the end it felt like 2 of my toes were broken. I remembered I had stubbed my toes pretty hard at work and maybe the ride brought back the injury. The last 10 miles of my ride were so painful. I wanted more than anything to just get off my bike and rest, but I also just wanted the ride to end. I pushed myself to keep going to the very end, but I was literally crying on the last mile. Once I got off the bike, the pain went away almost completely, and I felt like a big baby. I put on my running shoes and went for my 30 minute run. I forgot my hat and the top of my head was burning, and my ankle started to hurt. I cut my run a little short at 25 minutes instead of 30. Today just wasn't my day.
By the way, the cookies did not go too well in terms of race nutrition. As usual I had very little spit to swallow them, and my planned water stop was out of commission, so I had a 15 mile window with no water to drink. No water meant no cookies. I ate 10 of the 13 cookies I was supposed to eat, and it took a lot of effort on my part to get to 10. I now hate Oreo cookies, at least for the immediate future. Well, that's one way to get rid of a craving.
I was very good when I got home for my lunch. I didn't eat the salty and fatty foods I was craving, like hot dogs and ramen. Instead I had a big salad with 2 hard boiled eggs and some deli turkey with light dressing. It definitely lacked appeal and taste, but it filled me up and I was very very happy and proud of myself.
Total Calories: 1212
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 August 2012 12:26 pm |
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| Michelle, sounds like you are doing great, making good choices and getting in exercise. I am sure the humidity was a big factor in your struggles with the ride. I know even my walks are effected by the humidity. I hate it, even my dogs hate it, it definitely make exercising a challenge. I know you're on the opposite side of the country but the humidity has been horrbile here, days and days of high humidty. How about out there?
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mchen01
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Posted: 13 August 2012 05:00 pm |
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Thanks Hiker! I've definitely been spoiled by the weather on the west coast. The humidity and heat here is nothing compared to the east coast. Still, I forget that as I ride my bike inland, the temperatures are over 100, the humidity is higher, and there's not a single tree for shade. I can't complain too much though. Our bad weather season lasts maybe 2-3 weeks, and then it's back to beautiful, can't-stay-indoors kind of weather.
Weight: 158.6
I didn't get a chance to check in yesterday, but it was a nice day. I got in a much nicer bike ride. I ate a little over at 1629 calories, but was really hungry, probably from day before yesterday's ride. We ate some of the eggplant from our garden, and it was delicious. My mom and I also went to the nursery to buy some seed starter supplies. I wanted to plant the seeds from the rocoto peppers I'd gotten from a friend. I loved those peppers, very spicy but flavorful. I was going to buy some stakes for the bean plants, but they were out of the ones I wanted. I decided to build my own reusable trellises and bought some wood instead. After some glue, staples and cloth hinges, I should have a pretty nice folding trellis.
It looks like my weight is plateauing again. My body is probably resisting dropping below a weight I haven't been in over 20 years. It's going to be a little frustrating for a while, but I know I can outlast the frustration. I'm going to continue to eat the way I'm eating now, because this is my life from here on out. This is a total lifestyle change, and I plan to embrace it. Do I still think fondly of favorite fried foods and rich desserts? Sadly, yes. But do I hate the way I look and how I feel after eating too much of those foods? Yes, so much that I get deeply depressed and just want to cry.
I have learned a lot about myself as I've gone through these weight loss exercises. I've learned how much I've been avoiding the pain in my life and how weak and insecure my weight has made me feel. It's been a vicious cycle of feeding the pain with food and letting my weight cause me more pain. I'm ashamed that my weight has made me want to avoid old friends and kept me from enjoying the fullness of my life. The weight has made me want to avoid intimacy with my husband and ashamed to show myself around my children's friends. I hated to go shopping with my mom who always picked out clothes 2 sizes larger than what I would. I knew about all these things, but I pushed them back for fear of what a confrontation with my life would bring. But now I've learned that beyond the curtain of food and denial lies the person I want to be. I can see her now. She's happy and confident, and she kicks dirt over the food that she used to hoard like treasure.
I have a new weight management exercise to do. Each new exercise asks new questions and makes me do the soul searching I would never have thought to do on my own. This time I have to look at the past and see if my new lifestyle has brought anything negative to my life. Then I have to look to the future and see if I will have to sacrifice more to get to my goal weight. How far am I willing to go? When will it be enough?
Today I am wearing a fitted skirt, and for the first time in a very long time, my shirt is tucked in to show my waist and flatter belly. Just having my shirt tucked in has already brought comments of how nice I look today. One woman even commented that I looked sexy today. Ok, I think she was exaggerating, but it still made me feel good.
Total Calories: 1109
Last edited on 14 August 2012 08:53 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 14 August 2012 08:41 pm |
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Weight: 157.6
Yesterday was a low hunger day. There was no particular reason other than I just didn't feel like eating much. There was mild hunger late at night, but I find I can now ignore low levels of hunger. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to. That's great progress for me. It helps me wait for meal times to eat and cuts out a lot of the snacking that I used to do.
There were donuts in the break room this morning. They looked and smelled delicious. It's been a long time since I've had a donut. Considering yesterday's low calorie day, I could have had a donut, but if I did I would have restarted the craving cycle for them. It was pretty easy to say no and that they weren't worth the nagging cravings I was going to experience afterward. It's just food, and the pleasure of food is nothing compared to the freedom from being overweight and from being a mindless glutton.
Yesterday I went back to my old physical therapist to get another opinion on my shoulder. He recommended I have an orthopedist look at it to rule out a labral tear, which means it might very well be a labral tear. If it is, depending on how bad it is, there is the possibility of surgery. Conservatively, there is also the possibility of non-surgical rehab. Either way, there is now the possibility that I may not be able to do the Ironman this year, something that really hadn't occurred to me until this week. It would be very disappointing to have to postpone this race, but I guess the possibility of further damage to my shoulder is worse. I don't want to think about it right now. It's too depressing.
Ok, now there is cake at work too, and it's a beautiful cake, vanilla with lots of icing and fresh strawberries. It's been bothering me for the past 2 hours. I had the debate in my head about letting myself have a small piece to just a spoonful. I hate it when I start to give in, even just that little bit. A small loss of control is still a loss of control. I can see one small bite turning into another, and another, and another... until I'm back to where I started. I'm just not going to do it this time. At least not yet. I don't feel strong enough in my control to handle these little bits of addictive foods. There. It's done. The decision is made. They can throw the cake in the trash for all I care. I don't need it, and I don't really want it, because what I'd really be getting is fat, cheesy thighs, flabby arms, and a pot belly that I'll have to hide under loose shirts.
Total Calories: 1180
Last edited on 15 August 2012 03:59 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 15 August 2012 04:52 pm |
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Weight: 155.6
Woohoo!! I'm down to the lowest weight I've been in the 4 years I've been trying to lose weight. And this time, I don't feel deprived or frustrated. I still feel a little need to celebrate with food (that cake is still sitting in the break room), but I know now that celebrating with food will just reverse my progress. I know that I'm not going to yo-yo back at this point. I know that I'm going to keep up with my diet changes because I'm happy with what I'm eating, and I'm still able to enjoy a splurge now and then. I'm going to make sure I lose the weight this time, and I'm going to keep it off. I feel such a certainty right now that I'm ready to jump for joy at what the future will bring. To my friend Ladyfish - Yes, I believe!
I'm starting to understand that part of the success of changing my diet is being happy with my decisions about food. I noticed that throughout the day yesterday, my mind kept returning to the cake I didn't eat. I realized that I was unhappy with my decision, and that resentment kept my mind from fully letting it go. And so I sought out reasons to be happy about that decision. It helped a lot, and I found my need for a substitute sweet slipping away. The big drop in weight today gives me added reason to be super happy, and that happiness is going to help me continue to make the right decisions about food.
I still have to answer those questions about sacrifice on my weight managment exercise, but I need some time to sit down and really think them through. Last night was another late night at work, and I've got a lot of things on my mind right now. I printed the questions out so at least I'm reading them and am spending some time thinking about them, and they have brought out something about my lifestyle that may cause problems down the road. Right now I'm lucky to have my mom live with me and do all of the cooking. She makes everything from scratch and has a knack for flavoring. She doesn't need to follow recipes, but can recreate most things from taste. But, my mom can't be with me forever. So a big question for me that wasn't on my worksheet is am I willing to cook wholesome meals like my mom does. Will I have the time? Am I willing to sacrifice something to make sure I have the time to prepare good foods? I know the answer is I will have to, but I need to start thinking about how I will manage it. Maybe it's time to get cooking lessons from my mom.
Total Calories: 1331
Last edited on 16 August 2012 06:40 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 16 August 2012 08:47 pm |
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Weight: 155.6
Weight is still looking good. Since I've been low on calories lately, I figured I could have a small treat last night. I weighed out a serving of vanilla ice cream and added some dark chocolate chips. The nice thing about ice cream is that it's not a trigger food for me. I like it but I don't love it, and so I can use it to satisfy a sweet tooth without worrying about going into binge mode.
Yesterday I woke up with a half inch blister on my waist. I thought it was a spider bite. I popped it because it was right at my pants line and the rubbing hurt. It felt fine except for the usual stinging and itchy sensation. This morning I find that the blister has grown back and spread out a tiny bit. Now I'm thinking maybe it's the beginning of shingles? In any case, I know I'm feeling a bit off. I have diarrhea and nausea, and I feel really light headed and tired. I still have a long day at work, and I'm going to try and muddle through it. If it looks worse tomorrow, then I guess I'll have to call the doctor, again. Calling the doctor 3 times in one week is pretty extreme. I hope she doesn't think I'm a hypochondriac.
Anyway, I did yoga today before I started feeling weak, so I'm glad I got something of a workout done. I also got in a nice 26 mile ride yesterday. I was lucky enough to see a rider about a quarter mile ahead of me on my sprint section, so I got in a good quad burning chase, trying to catch him in the 1.5 mile stretch to the light. I barely caught him, but only because he had slowed down to eat something. Still, it was a lot of fun and always makes my ride a little more interesting.
Total Calories: 1487
Last edited on 17 August 2012 04:58 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 17 August 2012 05:54 pm |
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Weight: 155.4
I feel a lot better today. The redness and pain around the blister is mostly gone. Yesterday was awful, and I ended up self-medicating with lots of chocolate, almost 800 calories worth of chocolate. That is something that I will probably never change. There is something about being sick and eating chocolate that gets me through my day. The sugar gives me a little burst of energy and the chocolate makes me feel good. Once home, I cut out the chocolate and had a sensible dinner before going to bed. The damage was not bad and I went over my goal by less than 100 calories.
Here is what I've learned about calorie counting. It works, plain and simple. I can eat whatever I want as long as I stay within my calories goal. So, if I eat nothing but candy for the day then so be it. The problem with that is that I'm going to be miserably hungry and unhappy. My body does not just crave sugar and fat. It wants lots of protein too. (I guess that's why I build muscle so quickly and easily.) At the end of the day, I find that I'm happiest after I've filled my calorie goal with healthy foods. But, I admit it's nice to have the option to indulge in comfort food every once in a while.
Last edited on 17 August 2012 06:24 pm by mchen01
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Hiker
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Posted: 19 August 2012 10:22 pm |
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| Michelle, sometimes we just have to have that comfort food and as you know if you deny yourself it wil only be worse later, I have to have ice cream when I'm sick. I agree, it's all about calories, maybe you can make up the 800 calories over the course of a few days rather than trying to do it all at once. Of course all at once does get it over sooner.
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mchen01
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Posted: 21 August 2012 12:41 am |
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Thanks Hiker! I actually did pretty well with the chocolate binge. I made up for it the same day and ended up going over my goal by less than 100 calories. I agree that it does a person no good to deny palatable foods 100%. I guess I just worry that if I start eating these foods too soon then I'll start losing control again.
Weight: 158.2
My weight is up a lot, but I was a bit bad this weekend. My appetite really shot up after a nearly 70 mile ride and 2.5 mile run on Saturday. I probably would have been ok with eating a little extra, but I let my hunger get the best of me. I think the heat was also messing with my motivation. I didn't want to prepare any food and mom didn't want to cook, so the family got pizza again. Saturday's total calories was 2532, and Sunday's was 1852. I went over my goal by a combined 1584 calories. That's way too much. Looks like I won't be losing much weight this week.
So, now the question is how do I handle my hunger from these long workouts? I thought I did ok this past Saturday by eating 10 oz of turkey and bean chili post workout/lunch (meal was within 60 minutes of finishing workout). My entire post workout meal was about 650 calories. My midday snack was an apple. I was very hungry 4 hours after lunch, so I guess lunch and the apple wasn't enough. I could try adding an extra 50-100 calories per hour of workout to my lunch. The only thing is that last weekend I was fine after a 4 hour workout and ate within my 1400 calorie goal, so maybe I don't need it. I guess I'll take a PB&J sandwich with me for my next long workout just in case.
Total Calories: 1077
Last edited on 21 August 2012 08:37 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 21 August 2012 10:54 pm |
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Weight: ?
I forgot to weigh myself this morning. I got up a little late and was rushed to make it to PT. The therapist did some of the usual stuff, working on my neck and scapula, but she also did some flexibility and nerve gliding. I had this weird cold feeling going down my bicep and into my elbow. It felt better than the usual burning sensation I get. My orthopedist appointment is in a week, and my therapist is going to send the ortho a note on my current condition. Once I get a diagnosis, I'm going to head back to my other PT and see what he recommends. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for non-surgical treatment and the ok to continue training and racing. I have races scheduled through February of next year, and of course, I really, really want to attend all of them.
My appetite went back to normal yesterday, so I'm starting to see a pattern for my long workouts. I'm going to have to plan my meals to accommodate my cravings without going overboard. Looking back at some of my meals, I see that I had a few days at successfully curbing my calories while fulfilling my appetite. The problem is that I remember the lack of taste. I need to find some more tastier foods. Maybe this is the one day I can allow myself a fattening dressing like blue cheese - yummy. I could do that and make an extra special salad, something like a crab louis, to make sure I stick to a big salad instead of pizza. BTW, the broccoli salad was good, but I guess I ate too much raw broccoli in one sitting and had the worse stomach ache afterward, so no more broccoli salad for a while.
This weekend is my training run/hike up Mt. Baldy. I'm looking forward to a beautiful day outdoors. The temperatures should be a lot cooler at 8000-10,000 ft, so a big plus there. I was planning a 5 hour ride on Sunday, but I may bring that down to 3-4 hours. My neck and shoulder are still stiff from the last ride. I'm hoping I can fit in a back-to-school clothes shopping excursion in there as well. I have just 2 more weekends before the kids are back in school. This summer just flew by!
Total Calories: 1347
Last edited on 22 August 2012 04:58 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 22 August 2012 08:39 pm |
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Weight: 157.6
I am sooo sore this morning. I think I did one too many chaturangas in yoga, and now both shoulders, pecs and lats are killing me today. I have a short ride today that I'm dreading. Maybe the soreness will go away after the ride. Maybe I'll skip the ride...
I've been thinking about my latest weight management worksheet which is about sacrifices. I don't think I've had to sacrifice much, other than the usual foods I like to eat. I do have to spend time logging my foods and keeping up with this journal, but now that it's become habit it doesn't feel that inconvenient anymore. I've been able to stay on course for the most part, and this is the longest I've gone without bouncing back up in weight. When I do binge, I find I recover quicker and am more mindful of how much I'm eating throughout the day.
This is me now, but what happens when I reach my goal weight? I can't imagine having to make any more sacrifices. I see myself continuing on in much the same way I'm eating now. I don't think that reaching my goal weight will give me permission to eat more or indulge more often. I already let myself have a little indulgence now and then, and I think that's enough to sustain my wants and keep me happy.
So, what is my goal weight. I know that if I had to pick a number, it's the weight that I believe will help me qualify for the Boston Marathon (135). At least it's the weight I'm working toward. Whether I actually reach it is something that I'm no longer dependent upon to feel successful and happy with my body. I'm guessing that reaching my goal weight will happen naturally, settling at a point where I feel comfortable at eating enough to be satisfied while still feeling strong and athletic.
Right now I already feel better about my body. When I get out of bed in the morning I actually can tell that my body is lighter and easier to move. I have a waist, and my belly no longer fights with the elastic around my shorts. I am definitely happier now than I was 4 months ago at 170+ lb. My arms, butt, and thighs tell me that I'm still not near my goal, but I'm pretty confident that it won't be much longer before I get there. I weigh myself every day with enthusiasm instead of dread, because this time I know I'm truly winning my battle with overeating. The future looks bright..., and a lot skinnier.
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Ladyfish
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| Joined: | 1 May 2012 |
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| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: 22 August 2012 11:39 pm |
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 Yes YES YES!
The point of the "Sacrifices" worksheet is that you really don't have to sacrifice ANYTHING to be powerful with food. 
The pluses far outweigh the minuses and by now it is starting to feel like "just me", the normal you.
You made my day brighter with this post Michelle. Go get 'em girl!
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mchen01
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Posted: 24 August 2012 09:15 pm |
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Weight: 158.2
I have not recorded my food very well over the past couple days. I tried to keep track, but have been way too busy. I've had to resort to snacking before dinner and eating my regular dinner very late, so my body is a little off. I think that's what is partially responsible for the weight gain. That and a lot of salt in my food.
The soreness in my shoulders got to be almost unbearable these past 2 days. The nerve pain shooting down my left arm into my elbow made me want to gnaw my arm off at the shoulder. I was so glad that I finally had PT this morning. I feel a lot better and the pain is not so bad anymore. The PT said that as she works on one side it is common for the other side to react, especially if it is associated with a neck and spinal disfunction which she thinks it is.
One of my co-workers teased me about how there were donuts in the break room again and didn't I want one. I loved how I could laugh about it because I wasn't tempted in the slightest. Sure I know how good it tastes, but that knowledge didn't plague me with calls to eat it. I told my co-worker that he was welcome to my donut. I'd rather see him wear it than me anyway. Hehehe.
Every time I feel my power over food growing I feel excited and optimistic. It's been about 4 months now, so the change in my habits and behaviors has been gradual, but the longer I stay committed the stronger I get. It's getting so much easier to say no to the problem foods, and I'm slowly learning how to make healthier foods more appetizing. I feel like I'm just now at the peak of change, where I'm almost at the point where the right choice is automatic. Giving up today's donut was so easy and instantaneous that I didn't have to think about it. There was no argument inside my head and no second thoughts. I know the urge to overeat will always be a big weight on my shoulders. My goal is to become strong enough to carry it without letting it knock me down.
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Hiker
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Posted: 26 August 2012 01:39 pm |
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mchen01 wrote: Every time I feel my power over food growing I feel excited and optimistic. It's been about 4 months now, so the change in my habits and behaviors has been gradual, but the longer I stay committed the stronger I get. It's getting so much easier to say no to the problem foods, and I'm slowly learning how to make healthier foods more appetizing. I feel like I'm just now at the peak of change, where I'm almost at the point where the right choice is automatic. Giving up today's donut was so easy and instantaneous that I didn't have to think about it. There was no argument inside my head and no second thoughts. I know the urge to overeat will always be a big weight on my shoulders. My goal is to become strong enough to carry it without letting it knock me down.
Michelle, that is fantastic. I have only been back at this for 2 months but I can relate to the feeling of having power over food, it does feel good. If you ever make it out here for the Boston Marathon let me know...I will definitely be there to cheer you on.Last edited on 26 August 2012 01:40 pm by Hiker
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mchen01
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Posted: 30 August 2012 04:43 am |
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Wow Hiker, I would love to meet you someday! That gives me more incentive to make it to Boston. 
Weight: 158.2
It's been a while since I've had a chance to log my foods and check in to my journal. Work got super crazy, but I finally completed one project deadline even though that deadline is over 4 weeks overdue. I can't say that it's all my fault. I had a lot of unexpected bugs in the tool I was using and my requirements were changing every week. Now on to the other 3 critical projects on my list.
Because I haven't been weighing myself or logging my foods, I guess I've been overeating. My weight is slightly up, but it may be water weight as I've been indulging in high sodium foods after a shopping trip to the Asian market. Hopefully it will come down this week as I get back into my routine. I've also allowed myself a few sweets in the form of pastries, but for the most part I've been good. I've been staying away from french fries as promised and have been ordering veggies as my side dish at restaurants. I'm pretty proud of myself for that one.
Other than a gorgeous power hike up Mt Baldy, I haven't been working out much either. My lunches have been taken up with meetings, and I've been bringing work home with me and sitting at my laptop until midnight. In a way it's been good because my shoulder has had some time to rest and the pain has come down quite a bit. I wish I could say it was better, but the locking is still there.
Yesterday was my appointment with the orthopedist. It was worse than I wanted to hear, but I'm holding out hope that the MRI does not confirm what the orthopod thinks it is. I went in pretty sure that he would tell me it looked like a labral tear, but now he said some of the tests he did showed positive for a possible rotator cuff tear too. With a labral tear I would have likely been able to race the Ironman and delay the surgery until after the race. With a rotator cuff tear he said surgery would happen sooner rather than later. I was crushed to hear that missing the Ironman was a real possibility. Not only that, but it's going to interfere with my January marathon too. Still I know that it's better for me to fix my shoulder before I damage it further, and there's still a chance that the MRI will show no rotator cuff tear and I can do the happy dance again.
Total Calories: 1298Last edited on 30 August 2012 08:54 pm by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 30 August 2012 08:47 pm |
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Weight: 155.8
It's nice to see the weight drop so quickly since I got back on track. It looks like I stayed on track better than I thought I did while not counting calories. That's a good sign that my new habits are taking over. I'm pretty pleased about that. My average cumulative weight is now 157.06. My goal was 157 by the end of this month. I'm so close. I hope I can make it at tomorrow's weigh-in.
I've begun weighing myself intermittently before bed. My weight drops anywhere between 2-5 lb by morning, with the high end happening when I'm very bloated with water weight. What helps me with this night weigh-in is that I get a sense of whether I'll see a drop in weight in the morning. If my evening weight seems too high I can sometimes mitigate that with a couple glasses of water before bed. Yes, I'll have to wake up in the middle of the night, but I have no problem with that. It also helps reduce my night time snacking by giving me incentive to stop eating . (I'd like to eventually get rid of night time snacking entirely, but I'm still working on finding the right size meals that keep me full.) Last night my weight was 159.2, and I felt very bloated. I was still very hungry so I allowed myself a very small snack and drank lots of water. Today's weight was my reward for my diligence and sticking to my plan.
As the weight comes off, and as my new habits become permanent/subconcious, I try to find new ways to stay motivated and to learn new habits. I've made good progress, but I'm not even half way to my goal, so I want to find ways to keep moving forward. Not all of my habit changes have been successful, but there's been enough. Sometimes it's just a matter of revisiting a failed change that failed just because it wasn't the right time. Sometimes I just need to tweak my plan to accommodate other things in my life. The point is to keep learning from my mistakes and keep searching to find the changes that work for me. I've learned that it's not a do all at once, fail miserably because of the induced stress, and give up entirely kind of process. It's like the old saying, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." So, how do I give up overeating? One habit change at a time.
Total Calories: 1480
Last edited on 31 August 2012 04:24 am by mchen01
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mchen01
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Posted: 4 September 2012 06:48 pm |
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Weight: ?
I have not been weighing and recording again. That's really bad as I seem to fall off track when I'm not mindfully watching my diet. It's more important to get back on track as I'm now done with the weight management exercises and am on my own with continuing my behavior changes. It was a lot easier to stay on track with someone watching over my shoulder and giving me tasks to keep renewing my motivation. Now it is entirely up to me. I'm a little nervous, because this opens the possibility of failure, but I have to keep reminding myself that I've already proven my power over food. I just need to maintain that power. I will do this!
Mt Baldy Race Report
Yesterday I did the Mt Baldy Run 2 The Top race. It's a 7 mile race with over 6000 ft of climbing. It's a very tough race, made tougher by the smoke from a nearby forest fire. I could smell the smoke and see a light dusting of ash everywhere, but I didn't realize how much smoke there was until I got to the top (see photo below). The last quarter mile of this race is the toughest. I ended up taking the very steep path because I was too beat up to do nothing more than follow the feet in front of me. The single track path is so steep that 5 people in front of me cut out of line in that last quarter mile to take a breather (There was a line of only 7 people in front of me.) The finish was an extremely welcome sight. The guy in front of me stopped right across the line, and I could feel the person behind me try a last minute surge to pass me at the same time. I blocked him/her and pushed by the guy, thinking it was rude of the person behind me to take advantage of the situation and mad at the guy for not moving to the side so the rest of us could finish. I could have passed the guy in front of me in the last 5 feet to the finish, but I guess I felt sorry for him, he was trying so hard. Next time I'm not going to be so nice. I don't like getting passed that way. It is a race after all.
This is maybe my 3rd trail race ever. I'm learning a lot about pacing and positioning. It's a lot like mountain biking. There are lots of little bursts of energy where you get maybe 2-3 feet of trail that is wide enough to pass. I noticed that some people would pull over for me, probably disturbed by me breathing so heavily at their backs. But then there were the old guys who refused to move to the side even though they had a wide gap in front of them. I passed 2 of them in the last mile. One of them passed me back when I stopped to help a distressed runner, so I had to get him again, making it 3 old men in my way. (I swear these are the same guys who block me in the fast lane on the freeway.) Anyway, I will have to work on being able to manage more of these short sprints if I want to do better at trail running.
Results:
Chip Time: 2:13:44.19
Gun Time: 2:14:01.36
Division Placement: 11/19
Overall Placement: 294/435
Attached Image (viewed 132 times):
 Last edited on 5 September 2012 05:07 pm by mchen01
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 September 2012 10:22 pm |
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mchen01 wrote: Results:
Chip Time: 2:13:44.19
Gun Time: 2:14:01.36
Division Placement: 11/19
Overall Placement: 294/435
Michelle, nice job. Very respectable.
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Nancy_in_GA
Moderator
| Joined: | 8 January 2009 |
| Location: | NE, Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 2440 |
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Posted: 5 September 2012 04:37 am |
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Michelle, I don't think there is anything at all wrong with weighing yourself a lot, even many times a day. It helps to understand what's going on. Knowledge is power!
Good job on the bike race. I don't claim to understand all of the details, but it sure looks like you did great to me.
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mchen01
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Posted: 5 September 2012 04:53 pm |
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Thanks Hiker! I'm pretty happy with the results and very pleased that my body does well at altitude after living at sea level for the past 12 years. I can see why you like to hike so much. I could get used to doing this more often.
Thanks Nancy! Yes, I think weighing often is very helpful for me. I totally agree that knowledge is power. It's been ignorance of my body and mind that has kept me in the overweight realm for so long. Thanks for cheering me on too. The race was actually a running race. I can't imagine going up that mountain on a bike.
Weight: 157.2
The weight is a little up. I really want to get back to watching my weight drop again. I'm going back to prioritizing my food logging and journaling. There's been a lot of stressful things going on these past few weeks, and I need to get my head back in touch with the now. There's not a whole lot I can do worrying about what might be in the next few months.
I've got to stop dwelling on the possibility of shoulder surgery and missing the Ironman. It's not the end. There will be more races. I've also got to stop worrying about where the hubby's next tour will be. Right now the choice is either 3 years in D.C. or 1 year in Diego Garcia. 3 years away from the family is very harsh. I would miss him so much. Plus, the financial burden of paying for his living expenses and travel to/from home would eat into our savings. 1 year in Diego would actually be a financial boost. He would get free room and extra pay. We'd go longer between visits (he'd get to come home for a couple weeks after 6 months), but he'd be back home so much sooner. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Diego Garcia, but have kept my mouth shut. The hubby is already wracked with guilt and concern over leaving us again. I don't want to add to his burden. What happens will happen, and we will deal with it when the time comes.
All this worrying does trigger my cravings for comfort food. I've indulged in more than I should have over the past couple weeks, but I'm done now. Running around between work and getting the kids ready for school these past few weeks left me frazzled and tired. A week ago, I ended up buying these 760 calorie muffins at Marie Callender's because it was a buy 2 get 2 free deal. I ate 2 1/2 myself and let the family eat the rest (which means I ate the most). It's too bad because I had done so well at the restaurant, picking something from the light part of the menu. My dinner was a chicken sandwich with a salad and was only 570 calories.
So the lesson here is do not be swayed by a good deal. Fat is fat even when it's cheaper. How is saving money to add fat to my belly and butt ever a good deal. I don't eat it when it's free at work, so why would I buy it outside of work? What was the logic in that? Wow, I'm so mad at myself and so amazed at my behavior. How can I treat the same food so differently just because the setting is different? Well, that's not going to happen again. I'm not buying an 800 calorie muffin even if it's only a penny. My joy at finding a good deal does not extend to bad foods.
Total Calories: 1530
Last edited on 6 September 2012 08:25 pm by mchen01
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Nancy_in_GA
Moderator
| Joined: | 8 January 2009 |
| Location: | NE, Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 2440 |
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Posted: 6 September 2012 03:46 am |
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mchen01 wrote: The race was actually a running race. I can't imagine going up that mountain on a bike.
Oops!  I just pictured you on a bike for some reason. Then you should have just elbowed your way past those 3 guys! 
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