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Diet & Weight Loss Forums > General Discussions > General Discussions > The Most Likely Reason Your Diet Will Fail |
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Peter Founder, caloriesperhour.com 
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There are contless reasons diets fail. Many are gimmicky marketing schemes that cause you to lose lots of water weight in the first week, then stall. Many are too expensive to be practical long-term, or too obnoxious! Not to mention unhealthy. But after participating in these forum for years, it has become very clear to me why most people fail at weight loss. It is simply because they are are impatient. We spend our entire lives learning bad habits and putting on weight, then try to lose it in just a few weeks or months. When we find we can't, we become discouraged, give up, and put on more weight. New members post one after another saying they are tired of dieting, and this time they are going to lose the fat forever! They say they are excited to find our website and forums, and are looking forward to receiving the support of our members. Then they go on to post their goal of losing an unrealistic amount of weight in an unrealistic amount of time. We are lucky to hear from them for even a week. They have come and gone and gained nothing. What brought this topic to my attention was a number of recent post-pregnant moms posting about wanting to lose their pregnancy weight quickly. A pregnant mom's body goes through nine months of changes, and it involves much more than just putting on fat. Perhaps a post-pregnant mom would do well to simply resume normal, healthy eating and exercise habits, and give her body a second nine months to return to normal. And have a little more time to enjoy her baby. People who fail again and again at radical diet changes might also consider taking baby steps. Think about this! While I would never suggest that someone who is eating poorly continue to eat that way, you could, and still lose all your weight! A 220 lb person could continue to eat as they do -- no changes at all -- and simply start walking an hour a day. (Or work up to it. Remember, baby steps!) They'd be burning about 500 calories a day which amounts to losing about a pound a week. And that's without changing anything else! Or instead of walking, they could just cut 500 calories a day. Easy to do if they're not eating well. I know that most of the people reading this would never be happy with such slow weight loss. Fine. Continue to try to lose three or more pounds a week and remember this post when you finally give up and decide that, after all, losing 52 pounds a year isn't so bad. Not after spending a lifetime putting it on. I know my words are a little provocative and I hope I didn't offend anyone. But if I got you thinking... well, that was the idea. Best wishes for success, Peter  Founder, caloriesperhour.com |
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clarinetgurl Distinguished Member 
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Peter wrote:
Oooh, Peter's got an edge!!  Just kidding, I think it sounds really good, and true, and relevant. If you were looking for opinions. If you weren't...well, too bad. CG  |
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zenobia Moderator
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i like it- especially the partabout pregnant moms... they expect it to be like movie starts who get thier pre-baby body back in like 2 weeks or something rediculous.. yeah, get a personal trainer, a personal chef, quit your job and have someone else take care of your baby while you workout 5 hours a day... then maybe. |
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Melissa Member 
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I appreciate your post, Peter. Zebobia is right--we are overwhelmed every day by stars and photos of people who lost weight rediculously--it really cant be healthy for all these people to lose their post baby weight so quickly! Think of the trauma they could be doing to their bodies! It is hard to see photo after photo of 'beautiful' stars who weigh nothing and drop weight so quickly. But we dont see the behind the scenes information that is starting to come out--that the stars basically live at the gym, have their personal trainers and dieticians live with them (mariah carey, for example), and they smoke cigarettes instead of eating. Those arent habits that I want--I want to live a relatively normal, healthy, life. But even though I want that, I still have to remind myself every day no to focus on those unrealistic examples. I have to remind myself, sometimes several times a day, and especially so before and after I get on the scale, that it took me about 3 years to put on the extra 80lbs I am carrying around--and nearly 30 years to develop the unhealthy habits that I struggle daily to break. Maybe in another 30 years I'll have this healthy living thing down pat!  |
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Heavenseventeen Distinguished Member 
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I felt like this was written for me. I only realised the other day that my impatience had messed up my weight loss. Being impatient and not giving even two days to eating lower calories I jumped on the higher calories bandwagon. I'd hardly give that a chance and jump on another bandwagon. SO silly. We just are so impatient these days. We have all these things to bring us instant results e.g. washing machines, diswashers, microwaves, the internet, etc that we forget to just sit and wait. Like someone said these celebs don't help e.g. Janet Jackson apparently losing 60lbs in 4 months. Even Jennifer Lopez is apparently getting up in the early hours to work the baby weight off. Heidi Klum is a perfect example of a celeb mum who lost the weight in record time. Instead of thinking of their kids being born alive and healthy they're thinking of getting back into bikinis. I'll definitely try to remember the "1lb per wk is 52 in a yr". I've heard it before but I thought "a yr's a long time". In a year, I've lost nothing. I could've lost 52. A yr seems like a long time but it'll pass before we even realise. I remember Jan 1st and alreayd we're heading toward May. |
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Peter Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Heavenseventeen wrote: I'll definitely try to remember the "1lb per wk is 52 in a yr". I've heard it before but I thought "a yr's a long time". In a year, I've lost nothing. I could've lost 52. A yr seems like a long time but it'll pass before we even realise. I remember Jan 1st and alreayd we're heading toward May. Well said! I built this feature into the Weight Loss Calculator where if you calculate weight loss at too high a rate you get this message: Warning: Losing weight too fast can be unhealthy and will likely cause your weight loss plan to fail. See What It Takes to Lose It All. At this rate you will weigh NOTHING in 10 months and 15 days! The months and days in the last sentence vary depending upon your calculation, but it makes the point! Peter |
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Melissa Member
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Its funny...I was trying to tell my husband to be patient with me and with my weight loss. When we first met, I was in my prime, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Over the years we have been together, I have deteriorated. I am only recently taking charge of my life again. Anyhoo, I was telling him to be patient with me, that I am not to return to who I was overnight. He's the one who told me, reminded me, that 1lb a week, 52lbs a year, was AMAZING. I had to laugh. Who could have thought that someone who never had a weight problem, EVER, could remind me of the most important lesson? |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member 
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Peter wrote:
Peter, this was immensely useful when I first started. It helped me to set realistic goals and run a few models of 'how long' it might take to lose certain increments. I think before I educated myself with this site, I might have said "I want to lose it all by my birthday" and could have easily gotten frustrated when that didn't happen. The calculators made me see that even without slip ups it would be a 9-10 month journey, and I was able to establish more sensible milestones. |
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kalypso Member 
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This is a great post, and I agree whole-heartedly with it. Slow weightloss is HEALTHY weightloss. I'm only here to seek support in losing about 10 pounds, but I'm pretty happy if I even only see 1 pound of loss per week because I know that chances are I'll keep that pound off longer then people who were going for quick-fixes - plus I always remind myself of what I went through for the whole week just to get rid of that one pound. Slow weightloss makes you appriciate the weightloss all the more, so hear hear! |
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schmalecky New Member
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Peter wrote:
I could not agree more. I have been losing weight since Jan 1st. It's been almost 4 months and I can say that I have lost 18 lbs. While sometimes I tell myself I should have lost more, I think about the following. My clothes fit better, I am down a size in pants, I am down to the weight I was when I was dating my wife, I look better - healthier, but most important to me is that I feel better. That keeps me going. |
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pbf4326e Distinguished Member 
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Someone once said that patience is a virtue. Not sure who said it but it's lacking in this country. I've done the "lose weight quickly" thing before and it comes right back on. It's by being patient that we give ourselves the time we need to develop the new habits we need, not only to take the weight off, but to keep in off for the rest of our lives. If we wanted to run a marathon we wouldn't just start running 27 miles. We'd see if we could make a mile and build up to it, strengthening our bodies and lungs. We've become a society that must have instant gratification and we've lost the ethic of hard work in many cases. We've become to comfortable and complacent. I'm not trying to be critical of anyone as I'm the one guilty of letting myself go and expecting to get back in shape in no time. It's my own fault. The idea of being patient is helping me deal with situations in general and not just my weight. Thanks, Peter. Bert |
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Victor version 4.0 Distinguished Member 
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BRAVO Peter..... The most likely reason why your diet will fail....... BECAUSE ALL DIETS FAIL! You cannot make a short term eating pattern change, then go back to the "Old " pattern and expect that weightloss to remain. That is igrossly llogical. What an animal eats and the quantity it eats is its diet....This in conjunction with its energy expenditure determines how much stored energy(FAT) it will retain. V |
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Beth Distinguished Member 
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I've made some radical lifestyle changes since I joined the Forum in January. I am also losing weight slowly. I am getting healthy slowly. I just had a checkup at the Dr. and he was so impressed with how my numbers had improved since September. I am exercising again after about a 12 year break. I didn't have a 10 point plan to kill myself, but that was exactly what I was doing! What I'm doing now is developing good habits I must continue even after all the weight is lost. What used to not work is not acceptable. My changes must become a permanent way of life or I'll be a miserable fat blob again within a year. I do not what that! |
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pbf4326e Distinguished Member
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Beth wrote: I've made some radical lifestyle changes since I joined the Forum in January. I am also losing weight slowly. I am getting healthy slowly. I just had a checkup at the Dr. and he was so impressed with how my numbers had improved since September. I am exercising again after about a 12 year break. I didn't have a 10 point plan to kill myself, but that was exactly what I was doing! Beth, You are right on! We had a bad lifestyle with respect to what we ate and a lack of exercise. It's the lifestyle we have to change and that takes time. Good for you!!! Bert |
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Peter Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Beth wrote: I didn't have a 10 point plan to kill myself, but that was exactly what I was doing! That made me laugh! I saw on the news that the life expectancy in the US is dropping, and that one of the major factors is obesity. American's live in excessively large houses, drive excessively large cars, and eat excessively large amounts of food. (Well, I never did the first two but made up for it with the third!) Hopefully we will learn to live more wisely, but a lot of lives will be shortened in the process. Peter |
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cportwine Distinguished Member 
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I totally agree with everything you said peter. It took me three years to loose my weight this last time. The times before that were after having my kids. So, this time was a little more harder and meant more to me. I also, have learned to be more healthy in the last three years. Like you said, at first I just wanted to lose weight, and I did, but like you said, I then started gaining it back. So, not wanting that, I started to change. Exercising and eating healthy plus a visit to the doctor (which is always an eye opener). My point is that its changing the way you live and eat. Not dieting. I don't buy the same foods anymore, I don't cook the same anymore. I have totally changed what I do each day. My day doesn't revolve around food anymore. I think allot people fail cause they don't make realistic changes. I know I can never eat healthy all the time. I try, but you have to have a cookie every so often (if you know what I mean). People deprive themselves so much to lose huge amounts that they end up going off the deep end and eating like pigs because of it. Anyway, those are my thoughts on reading your post. |
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qwan New Member
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You got it right peter. I just realised this after "failing". You put it down in the right words here. I started in october 2007 and I lost 10 kgs in the first month. After that I wanted to lose another 10 kgs in novemeber and the remaining 10 kgs in december in time for newyear. Today as of april 2008 I am 115 kgs(I started at 121kgs). Now I realise that what you said that losing 52 pounds a year is not that bad. I remember a time when I was down 102 kgs(2 years ago) and I was just already to lose it all. But then and there too I always wanted faster results. The biggest problem with me is I binge and I know that it is "easy" to lose 10kgs a month and binge get my weight up by 4-5 kgs and then i do not continue my dedicated weight loss regime for the entire month. And I have ended up yo-yoing. I have lost more than 50 kgs in the last two years. Since october I have lost totally 22kgs(but I have been yo-yoing). Instead of looking at this "fast option" all I had to do is stay cools and continue doing the "small steps" i would have been in a good wieght zone. Right now I am only 6kgs less from where I started. well right Now I am taking it slow at 1kg per week and trying to hit 2kgs per week through excercise. My expectation is 1kgs. that means 4 kgs per months. So that means i cannot binge in the expectation that I can lose 10 kgs per month. That way I can keep eating properly I can give myself breaks I can have 1 good meal everyday. And keep my calories at 1200 per day. I used to think that 1 kg a week is too long. But now looking back at the amounts of weeks I spent trying to lose 3.5kgs and then burning out. And then binging and taking "breaks" which were too long. I think at the rate of even half a kg per week I should have been at my ideal weight as I was 102 kgs 2 years ago. I wish someone had banged this into me earlier. Peter where were you two years ago :-P. Thanks for the post just gave me the extra confidence to the decision I have just made recently |
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Theresa Senior Member 
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Thanks Peter I totally agree. What I just recently realised myself is that most of us that are fat were just getting fatter by the month. Since starting on this site (7 months ago) I have lost almost 20lbs. At the beginning my goal was to have lost approximately 60 to 70 lbs by now? I still am impatient to get it off as quickly as possible, but only in a healthy way and not starving myself.  What I realised is this: At the rate I was going before joining this forum I would have by now been at the very least 14lbs heavier than the 210 lbs I was. That would have been 224lbs, instead I am 190lbs. I would be a whopping 34lbs heavier!  Boy, have I saved myself by joining this forum and doing it all in baby steps.I still have 50lbs to go and will keep trying to lose my 2lbs a week, but I am realistic and now know to give myself another two years to get there if I cannot continuously be stricly disciplined with myself. So either way I am going to get there and stay there due to all the knowledge that I have learnt from this site. It's kind of like a moving car, you go from drive to stop and then you can reverse, not drive to reverse immediatley, you wil bu...r up the gear box and then where would you be?  |
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Beth Distinguished Member
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Good topic I needed to revisit. I'm getting impatient and I've realized that perhaps my goals were too aggressive for the time I allotted. I have learned a lot. I am losing weight slowly and not gaining weight. I am much healthier. I now have an exercise program. These are good things, good rewards. I know the weight will come off in its own time. I've never been accused of being overly patient, so I could use a good dose of it today! |
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pbf4326e Distinguished Member
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Theresa, Good for you!!! I think that we all have learned that it took time to put it on and it's going to take time to get it off. The goal is weight reduction but with a healthy approach. We will lose the fat and get in shape. It's a lifestyle and not a short term situation. This site is great and a terrific help to us all. Onward!!! Bert |
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femme New Member
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How about the fact that "diets" by definition, are temporary? Most people that begin diet regimens decide that they will diet until they get to their goal weight, but then they forget to create a plan to maintain that new weight. I have definintely learned that change in lifestyle and overall eating habits is necessary to successful and long-term results----and a bit of self-discipline doesn't hurt either. |
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Sueann New Member
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Well, now that was refreshing. Thanks. I needed that. |
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mt123 New Member
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Peter wrote:
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4ReaLthisTIME New Member
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this is soooo true! i myself have tried losing weight SO many times and then quit because i wasn't seeing the results i wanted fast enough. two years ago was the last time i tried losing weight....i lost almost 20 pounds...but still couldn't tell a big difference being as though i had 60 to lose....so i just gave up. i thought it was too much effort for so little results. now, i know that 20 lbs. is a lot, and i'm trying it again...and i'm being patient. i keep telling myself "no matter if this takes a year i will be thin next year instead of still wishing i wasn't fat!" thanks for the post! |
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Dazed1 New Member 
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I have been at a plateau for 2 months. My calories are kept under 2000, I walk over an hour a day and do strength training 3 days a week. I track my calories on FitDay. I am a 60 year old male, and while the weight is not coming off I see a marked change in body composition. My goal is weight loss, but I seem to be pumping up instead. It is as if I have my own personal steriod cache. I am proof positive that the simple math of weight loss does not work in every case. I have food scales and measuring devices, and FitDay is an accurate tracking service. |
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Peter Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Dazed1 wrote: I have been at a plateau for 2 months. My calories are kept under 2000, I walk over an hour a day and do strength training 3 days a week. I track my calories on FitDay. I am a 60 year old male, and while the weight is not coming off I see a marked change in body composition. My goal is weight loss, but I seem to be pumping up instead. It is as if I have my own personal steroid cache. I am proof positive that the simple math of weight loss does not work in every case. I have food scales and measuring devices, and FitDay is an accurate tracking service. Interesting! You are failing at your goal of weight loss, but perfectly achieving my goal of losing fat and gaining muscle! Peter , 61 years old |
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Dazed1 New Member
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Peter, it was always easy for me to pump up . I am not doing that heavy of a work out, and at 60 I would rather lose weight. Maybe if I back further off intesity and do more reps I would be better off. |
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Heavenseventeen Distinguished Member
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Dazed1 wrote: Peter, it was always easy for me to pump up . I am not doing that heavy of a work out, and at 60 I would rather lose weight. Maybe if I back further off intesity and do more reps I would be better off. Maybe it's just me being confused, but I think Peter's saying that weight loss isn't the only sign of success. If you're gaining muscle and losing fat, you're on the right track. You don't have to lose weight. You could lose weight, but it could be muscle and water so you'd be the same size. |
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vgreet Distinguished Member 
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Peter, Thanks for this post. For the first time ever I was able to lose weight by doing it in baby steps. Adding a 10 minute workout here, cutting back on soda there. Then I fell off the wagon, not gaining weight, but not eating healthy or getting lighter. And guess what? I was expecting to just jump in and be back to where I had been. My lifestyle is different and I need to remember baby steps. It really is the way to success. Thanks again! |
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