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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 April 2007 12:58 am |
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153to130 wrote: I know this is horribly nosy of me and I shouldn't ask but I really want to be a pediatric oncologist(I'm 13 and have already picked a medical specialty, one of the hardest at that, crazy aren't I?)but I have a couple questions:
1)what type did you have? (ALL,AML,APL,JMML etc.)
2) What protocol was used?(and for what time)if you know
3) Did you relapse?
4) did any solid tumors form?
5)did you need a BMT?
again I'm sorry to ask and know I shouldn't, but congratulations on your diet's progress
1) AML
2) Protocol. Not precisely sure what you mean. If you will elaborate I will be more than happy to answer.
3) No, and I am thankful every day. I'm honestly not sure if I could relive that.
4) No.
5) Yes. My younger brother was a perfect match.
No prob. Congrats to you on having already realized your dream! Seems to me like it would be a tough job, but a very worthwhile/often rewarding one!
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 April 2007 12:59 am |
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I'm a loser. Not a loser of pounds, just the regular kind.
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 April 2007 01:18 am |
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Today
was
at least better than yesterday.
Yesterday was my six year remission check up. (All's well as far as I know. We don't expect problems)
But, being out of town I ate horribly.
Oh, who'm I kidding, I eat horribly all the time.
frosted flakes=175
orange juice=125
banana=110
pretzels=110
uncrustable=320
ice cream sandwhich=110
So, that would be 950. That is actually not so bad. Except I'm going to Sonic for supper because, as stated above, I am the BAD KIND of loser. We always eat fast food on wednesday nights because it is easy...and there is nothing here to eat if I don't go to Sonic.
Okay, so that is a lie. But I have had just about all the ham and cheese sandwhiches, bananas, and cereal I can handle.
So, off to see what I can get at Sonic for...500 calories.
Not much, I'm sure.
clar
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 26 April 2007 01:31 am |
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Hi. I can see you are beating yourself up.
Probably not much point in doing so, unless you can feed on it and make it a source of motivation and inspiration for you to hang on to.
I'm not sure what will work for you this time around. Maybe stepping back and figuring out if you have any goals - weight loss, health, aestetic, or perhaps just emotional/spiritual goals. If you come up with some, then you can focus on them. If not then you'll to continue wondering for some time.
I am finding it easier to focus on my goals for my eating and my body, than my long-term goals for life in general!
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 April 2007 02:54 am |
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Yes, I am beating myself up.
And no it doesn't work.
But neither does bribing, coaxing, scolding, name-calling, introspection, goal-making, or reverse psychology.
I would know.
I just so love food. Fat, sugar, grease. They taste so good.
And don't tell me that salads and fruits taste good too. I already know that.
My lunch is usually pretty healthy.
And breakfast is often good. It's after three that my day goes kaput.
It doesn't matter what I eat the rest of the day, I know from four o'clock on is going to be bad.
And today I didn't even go to Curves, cause I wore these stupid shoes to school that gave me blisters so I was afraid to put my tennis shoes on.
I've just lost it.
clar
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 April 2007 03:25 am |
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Awww, come on now, CG ..............don't beat yourself up (listen to Nir, he's a wonderful mentor to us )
Would you stop for a minute , and think about all the things you've been through in your life so far? How many of your friends and fellow classmates have gone through what you have, with the leukemia and remission? Think of the strength you've had to draw on for that...........and I know you know how to rely on God's strength to get you through. Use it for your diet too! I've relied on Him for strength all through my weight loss (and I'm at 89 lbs. gone!-Praise the Lord!) When I try to do it myself.........then I start to flounder. I need Him for my anchor
I haven't gone back to re-read your diary, but don't I remember a lot of Pop-Tarts in there at the early stages for a breakfast? Eeeeew! Talk about sugar and chemicals! Now, I won't say your diet is perfect.......but it's improved, isn't it? Sometimes you are having oatmeal, fruit, or other cereals for breakfast. And you make good choices some of the time
I've noticed you seem to have a weakness for processed foods (danish, potato chips, Snicker's bar, pack of cookies, ice cream, Krispy Kreme's-just to name a few of the recent not-so-good choices)..........but I also see things like: oatmeal, apple, pb sandwich, blueberries, turkey sandwich, banana. Maybe you could make a list of food for your parents to shop for? So, you don't get bored with what's there? And so you have good, nutritious foods to choose from?
Stop and think about the weight you've lost! Girl you have done amazing! You are a teenager.........and that in itself shouts "junk food". I'm sure you face tough choices every time you are with your friends.......or the school lunch line.......or those nights of fast food! I found out what a challenge it was to eat "weight loss" when I had my 3 grandchildren for Easter weekend! Just the change in routine made it more difficult. When it's just me and my food, I can control it (most of the time), but throw a variable in there (school, friends, family night of fast food) and it gets much tougher .
If you always have fast food on Wednesday nights.......why not try to work it into your diet plan? The BFFM plan suggests working 1-2 "cheat" meals into your plan! Do you get a choice of where you are going? Maybe do a little deep research of the nutrition values of the foods at the fast food places you might go to. Make a list of the "good" , "better" , and "best" choices on each of their menus. That way you can make an informed decision.
Also, having read "The China Study", "Eat to Live" and "The Cancer Survivor's Handbook"........I would caution you to add more veggies into your diet......and the more colorful ones, the better. The link between eating too much animal protein and cancer cells growing is hard to ignore. As is the link between eating highly nutritious fruits and veggies, loaded with phytonutrients and their ability to fight off disease. Did you check out, "The Cancer Survivors Handbook", when that web address was posted in one of the forum's topics? It certainly gets you thinking. And increased veggies and fruit would also provide you with more fiber, which would help you to feel full, so you wouldn't be so likely to grab those highly processed foods.
Maybe you are the type that needs to make one change at a time? Is it too much to try to stay on a perfect diet and go gung-ho at it? Maybe, you should concentrate on eliminating the processed foods for a few weeks, then figure out the fast food options that are healthier for you, then work on another angle that you need to improve?
Figure out what works for CG ! What works for Hisgal or Nir or Scoobees or Smallerme.......might not be what works for you. Figure it out and you will be fine You have to have a plan that will work for you and your lifestyle or you will be giving up and making yourself feel bad. Don't do that...........you have done an amazing job at losing weight so far! Think of all those cute clothes you bought, that you wouldn't have dreamed of getting into when you started this weight loss journey You deserve a healthy body, and you are doing something about it! We (you) know we can't always be perfect........there is sin and temptation in the world. Don't expect perfection in your food choices.........expect improvement........one step at a time, CG I know you want this........and I know you can do it! Now go for it!
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 26 April 2007 09:30 am |
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clarinetgurl wrote: I just so love food. Fat, sugar, grease. They taste so good.
It isn't food's job to make you feel loved. There should be other things in life. Food is just the fuel you need to eat to live.
(Incidentally in OA I am asked to admit that I am powerless over food, but a Higher Power can restore me to sanity)
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 April 2007 11:48 pm |
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Clarinetgurl, don't let the negative attitude win- YOU taught me that by telling me to list all the positive things in my life, and I'll always be grateful for that. You really inspire me, and the fact that you've had to defeat your illness AND weight loss is amazing! You are sooooo strong, and you don't even know it. Six years in remission is absolutely brilliant!! I've lost two family members two cancer (aunt who I never got to meet and second cousin who left behind her son). People probably forget how serious cancer is. I did myself until I heard of a teenager called Josie Grove who lives here in England. She has cancer, has been fighting it for so long, and has now decided to stop her treatments and live the rest of her life with her family.
You've been given another chance!! You have to take it with both hands, hold it tight and don't let go. You've been soooo nice me, supporting me during my bad times, that it hurts to hear you call yourself a loser. You are NOT a loser! No way! You didn't fight in the hospital for all that time to let it go now- you CAN do this.
If you've eaten a lot by 4pm, start planning your meals straight away. Think of the bikinis! Think of your healthy body fat percentage! Think of your journey to the centre of the...um...120 pounds!! You're almost there! In fact you ARE there! You're living, you're breathing, you're fit, you're healthy and you're here.
I know how you feel. Lately I started to get irritated with the whole diet thing. I was angry that others didn't have to work out (choose not to) like I do, yet they still feel good about themselves. Then I thought: "Why should I only feel good about myself once I get to 132lbs?" No way! Life is too short- I'm gonna feel good (or at least better) RIGHT NOW. I'll do whatever it takes e.g. do my hair, wear nice shoes, wear my best clothes even though I'm just going to school, etc.
If you want to talk, you know where I am. Right here.
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 01:02 am |
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Okay.
This is clarinetgurl.
Shaping up.
I will make a shopping list of healthy food.
And then I will eat those foods.
 What veggies should I get..that I can take to school..that do not include cucumber or celery because I am burned out on those
I WILL drink more water.
Here are my goals:
 Be able to do a mile on the treadmill at a speed of 5 mph by July 1st.
 Drink 20 oz of water or more per day.
 Lower my body fat % to 23% by December 21st, my birthday.
Have a WEEKLY deficit of 4200 (Ie 1.2 pounds per week)
 Do some kind of exercise EVERY DAY
clar
Last edited on 27 April 2007 02:34 am by clarinetgurl
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 01:12 am |
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Things I like about me:
I do not (usually) hold grudges
I am smart, and I work up to my full potential
I reach for my dreams
I am good at public speaking
I am generous
I have very nice skin
I can appreciate a good (or corny) joke
I am a hard worker
To be continued...
clar
Last edited on 30 April 2007 02:30 am by clarinetgurl
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 27 April 2007 01:21 am |
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all sounds good
 (Incidentaly, what is "normal range" for a 5'4 17/18 year old?)
according to the table in Calculating Body Composition
for women: Athlete 14-20%, Fitness 21-24%, Average 25-31%
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fsahurie
Senior Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 01:25 am |
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Nir wrote: clarinetgurl wrote: I just so love food. Fat, sugar, grease. They taste so good.
It isn't food's job to make you feel loved. There should be other things in life. Food is just the fuel you need to eat to live.
That is so true and sounds very logical, now if only the rest of the world could hear that magic phrase......oh well,.........
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 02:34 am |
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all sounds good
(Incidentaly, what is "normal range" for a 5'4 17/18 year old?)
according to the table in Calculating Body Composition
for women: Athlete 14-20%, Fitness 21-24%, Average 25-31%
Then I will shoot for 23% by December 21st, 2007.
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 02:48 am |
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4/26/07
I am avoiding The Scarlet Letter like the plague. No me gusta character analysis.
FOOD
frosted flakes (the "less sugar" kind)=175
lemonade=60
fruit roll up=80
turkey n cheese sandwich=275
banana=110
chips=160
oatmeal cream pie=170
doughnut=200 (it was Krispy Kreme, and fresh...   )
Dat makes...1250. Oh, so 150 left for supper. Greeeaaaat. Like that'll ever happen.
Exercise: Curves=(135-20)115
Supper will probably be in the neighborhood of...450. So if I could burn about 200 calories through exercise, that would be great.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 02:53 am |
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CG wrote:
Things I like about me:
I do not (usually) hold grudges
I am smart, and I work up to my full potential
I reach for my dreams
I am good at public speaking
I am generous
I have very nice skin
I can appreciate a good (or corny) joke
To be continued...
clar
Alright girl, now we're talking!!! I'll bet there are lots of positive things to write on that list! You are a most awesome young woman.........don't put yourself down or sell yourself short!
CG wrote:
What veggies should I get..that I can take to school..that do not include cucumber or celery because I am burned out on those
What veggies do you like? My favs to take to work are mini carrots (find a brand that are tasty-some aren't so hot), green, red, yellow and orange peppers (especially the sweet ones ), mushroom slices, broccoli florets.......have you ever tried jicama? That is an awesome veggie! I love it raw, it has a sweet, nutty flavor
But, remember.........you need protein with the veggies, or you will be/get hungry and won't be feeding your muscles. And veggies don't have many calories, so you don't want to consume too few calories and have your body think you are starving it  How about natural or low-fat peanut butter with the celery? I suppose refrigeration is a problem?? Could you bring a smaller cooler or insulated lunch pack? Then you could bring some low or fat free dip or cream cheese for your veggies? or some yogurt or cottage cheese? I love tuna salad made with fat free mayo and 100% whole grain Wheat Thins....add the raw veggies, and you've got your protein, whole grain, and veggie
Like we've been talking about in some of the other diaries........you need to develop CG's weight loss plan.............what works for YOU, what you can live with! I know you can do this
And don't beat yourself up if you can't do it PERFECTLY........we ARE NOT PERFECT PEOPLE..........God didn't make us that way, He gave us free choice.
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 02:58 am |
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Clarinetgul's Tentative Shopping List
Rice Krispies
small yogurts
mandarin oranges
head of lettuce
green and red peppers
whole grain wheat thins
Clementines
either light or fat free french dressing
broccoli
clar
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trimB
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 03:03 am |
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Baby steps are okay too, if you're feeling too overwhelmed. I think we were writing about this quite a while ago... slow and steady progress toward any goal is still progress!!  <--- underused green guy
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 03:42 am |
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CG,
When shopping for the Wheat Thins, make sure that you get the 100% whole grain ones.........not all Wheat Thins are 100% whole grain............they will have the "Heart Healthy" symbol on the box.
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 April 2007 09:36 pm |
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clarinetgurl wrote: Things I like about me:
I do not (usually) hold grudges
I am smart, and I work up to my full potential
I reach for my dreams
I am good at public speaking
I am generous
I have very nice skin
I can appreciate a good (or corny) joke
To be continued...
clar
You go girl! Last edited on 27 April 2007 09:36 pm by Heavenseventeen
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 April 2007 11:11 pm |
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Okay, okay. So this weekend was so much fun, but I still blew it on the diet. We went camping in our new camper!!
But, so that means I had a hotdog, and roasted marshmallows, and some pretzels...etc etc.
So today is the day. Ick. Today hasn't been so good.
2 muffins=450
Taco Bell=850 (I know, someone just shoot me now)
The good news is, I'm not hungry...
The bad news is the leaves me about 150 calories for supper. Yeah. But I should be able to take a walk this afternoon, either on the treadmill or outside...it is actually a very nice day!!
I still haven't gone shopping for food yet. I was going to go Thursday night, but my dad was the one going, and he said something that made me mad, so I wound up not going. I have a feeling I will regret it when I have to eat yet another peanut butter sandwhich tomorrow.
Tomorrow is weigh-in day at Curves. Am I a glutton for punishment or what? I hold out no hope that there will be any good news. I am just going to take the bad news that I deserve and hope it will help to motivate me...
Okay, so I just did a mile (up and down my driveway) in seventeen minutes. Not sure I would have averaged that fast if I had done more than a mile, but I think it is a good start. If I will just make myself do a mile every single day, it should be no problem to be able to do one at 5 mph by July. Right?
Calories in: 1300 so far
Calories out: (1675+40 for walking)1715 so far
Deficit: 415 so far
Not good, because I will likely eat that many and more, so I need to do more exercise!! But maybe I shall walk on the treadmill, cause it's actually pretty hot outside (finally! But I just don't feel like being in it more right now)
Last edited on 30 April 2007 02:22 am by clarinetgurl
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 May 2007 12:35 am |
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Okay, so yesterday ended poorly. Add in a couple of slices of pizza and a mini ice cream sandwhich, and you have my day.
Perhaps TODAY will be the day. (If I keep saying that, eventually I will be right, right?)
Food
slice of leftover pizza=330 16.5 g protein
oatmeal cream pie=170 1 g protein
banana=110 1 g protein
peanut butter sandwhich=340 11 g protein
pretzels=50 ----
two chocolate chip cookies=160 ----
Weigh-in at Curves. Oh yes. Let's just clarinetgurl got what she deserved, shall we?
HOWEVER, I have vowed that next month I will get what I deserve, only this time in a different sense. Yep.
Last edited on 1 May 2007 03:38 am by clarinetgurl
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 May 2007 12:43 am |
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Perhaps TODAY will be the day. (If I keep saying that, eventually I will be right, right?)
Sounds like we're both having similar days lately. I hope today is good for you, too.
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 May 2007 12:36 am |
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OK.
So yesterday could have ended better, BUT I did at least keep the portion size of spaghettie down, and only had one breadstick.
But TODAY. So far today has been very nice. I had some candy, yes, but everything else has been rather healthy. Here is the breakdown:
yogurt smoothie=220 6 g protein
 multigrain wheat thins=130 2 g protein
sandwhich on ciabatta bread=285 21 g protein
cheese rip'm stick=70 8 g protein
peanut m&ms=250 5 g protein
applesauce=90 --------
Our Wally World didn't have any "whole grain" wheat thins...
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 May 2007 12:39 am |
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Okay, I have a question, probably a Nir question.
I almost hate to ask, because it involves admitting horrible failure
But anyway, at measurement day at Curves yesterday I had gained four pounds...
but lost .9% body fat.
Now, I realize some of that weight was probably water weight from pretzels and pizza the day before.
But I KNOW I HAD gained weight. Maybe not four pounds (although I wouldn't be surprised, as I'm sure none of you would either), but I had definitely gained some.
So.
Assuming the BF% machine is accurate...does that mean I gained muscle?
Or is it a better idea to assume the machine was inaccurate?
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 May 2007 12:44 am |
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clarinetgurl wrote: How do I know if something is a "good source" of protein or not?
breakfast bowls .. 30 g of protein .. 520 calories
Ok, I am going to compare your breakfast with 100g of cooked broccoli, which is only 3.1g of protein, which doesn't look as impressive as 30g. The broccoli is 24 calories.
The easiest thing to do is to compare like with like. We could compare portions of similiar weight, or similiar volume, but this isn't going to help us here. What will help is to compare portions that have the same number of calories. Let's look at servings that contain exactly 100 calories and see how much protein they proide.
100 calories of your "breakfast bowl" contains (100/520) x 30 = 5.8g protein.
100 calories of my cooked broccoli contains (100/24) x 3.1 = 12.9g protein.
Now let's look at some hard-boiled egg whites: 100g of that is 36 calories and 9g protein. So:
100 calories of hard-boiled egg whites contains (100/36) x 9 = 25g protein.
by the way, that is the most protein that any 100-calorie serving could ever contain.
You can multiply the number of grams of protein in a serving by 4 to get the number of calories from protein.
100 calories of breakfast bowl: 5.8 x 4 = 23.2 calories
100 calories of cooked broccoli: 12.9 x 4 = 51.6 calories
100 calories of egg whites: 25 x 4 = 100 calories
Trivially, as these numbers are "protein calories out of total calories", they are also percentages. So you can say "51.6% of the calories in cooked broccoli are protein", "100% of calories in egg whites are protein", "only 23.2% of the calories in the breakfast bowl come from protein".
What else can we talk about, as far as "good source" is concerned? Well, we can talk about complete proteins and we can talk about the other junk that can be contained in food that also contains protein.
A) animal proteins (protein in meat, fish, eggs and dairy products) has all the essential amino acids. Vegetable protein is generally deficient in some - so you have to eat a variety of foods in order for proteins to complete themselves. For example beans and toast, rice and vegetables etc.
B) bacon may contain carcinogens (nitrites), animal products such as bacon, cheese and egg yolkes contain saturated fat and cholesterol that may raise your LDL 'bad' cholesterol.
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 2 May 2007 02:00 am |
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Your LBM has gone up. LBM is lean body mass, which includes your muscle weight (as well as the weight of water in your body, gylcogen stores, even the weight of your bones).
So yes, you might be retaining some water. Yes, you might have gained some muscle. Might be a mixture of both. (and as I'm sure you've observed, you could do better in terms of getting your protein eaten. I'm not trying to have a go at you and I realise that you are aware of this!)
Since I started my diary in January 2006, and probably beforehand, I've always been aware of the importance of protein. As important as getting calories right. The only times I've not gotten enough protein were the times I let go completely [such as my serious binge-eating in September and October]
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 May 2007 02:40 am |
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Alright, thanks.
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 3 May 2007 12:32 am |
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OKAY SO I MESSED UP AGIAN LAST NIGHT. Sheesh. I probably ended up at around maintenance.
But TODAY
Okay, I know, but I have done very nicely so far.
mixed berry nutri-grain bar=140
orange juice=110
applesauce=90
breadstick=385 (no really, it was whopping!)
salad w/"light done right" french dressing=135
parmesan cheese=60 (?)
Total in: 920
Total out: 1675
Deficit: 755
I'm going to Curves in a bit, and the it is El Tap (Mexican) for supper.
Hmmm...so a salad is obviously my best choice but I'm not crazy about that as I had one for lunch. I might just get on of the small burritos and a side of refried beans...
AMERICAN IDOL last night! Wow. who knew Melinda could rock? Man, she can do it all, can't she?
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 May 2007 08:58 pm |
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Ok, so here I am for the first time in four days.
My eating has been okay, maybe not great, but I'm making better choices lately.
Not so much on the exercise front except Friday we handed out Annuals and I am on annual staff so I carried annuals, and tables, and lots of chairs, and my arms and legs are still super sore.
Okay, I was 138.2 last night. Which is high, but lower than it has been for the past week or so. I need to be to 133 by the first of June for mom to pay for my pdeicure. It's not impossible.
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 May 2007 03:45 am |
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You know what I have discovered?
I love myself.
I am a good person.
A good friend.
I make good grades, and have goals and ambitions.
OWF says I am brilliant Thanks OWF, you're so sweet
And if I never lost one more pound, I would still be happy with who I am.
This is not to stay that I will not try to keep losing pounds, because truthfully there are still some unreached goals.
But if we reached all our goals, what would we have to live for? If there was nothing to work toward, what would life be worth?
Is that why people commit suicide, because they have nothing to work for?
Anyway, I just want to say how SICK I am of trying to eat the right foods.
It seems that no matter what I eat, there will always be something wrong with it.
Too many calories.
Too much sugar.
Not enough protein.
Not enough fiber.
Too much salt.
HFCS.
Artificial flavoring.
Pre-packaged food.
I'm sorry, but I don't always, in fact, not even usually, have the time to make oatmeal for ground oats etc etc.
I don't have the time to sit around and figure all my percentages for every day...protein, carbs, sugars, calories, fats, on and on and on.
And I don't want to hear a thing about how should make time.
My parents get annoyed when I talk about how many calories things are.
And no, I don't have the willpower to eat a peanut butter sandwich and a banana (which I can't anyway because bread has refined flour and peanut butter isn't really a good source of protein, and bananas have too much sugar) when everyone else is eating out and enjoying themselves.
And maybe I don't want to have the willpower either.
I am tired of being told, "You are doing good. Now, just do better."
No. Enough of that. I am good enough just the way I am.
I am tired of stressing. So I am not going to stress anymore.
I will check back in and let you guys know how the carefree lifestyle goes, and how I eat when I don't have to do math before i put anything in my mouth.
****Disclaimer: Honestly, I am not trying to offend anyone who does enjoy doing all these things...finsing protein percentages, figuring fat grams, and comparing sugar contents. That is fine, you go right on ahead, and I will cheer you on. I am just saying, it is not for me anymore.*****
clar
Last edited on 8 May 2007 06:23 am by clarinetgurl
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butterfly~princess
New Member
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Posted: 8 May 2007 05:03 am |
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Hi,
I am new to the site and just kinda making the rounds of introducing myself.
I understand where you are coming from as far as all the micro management of food goes. It gets very OCD sometimes LOL!! I hope that you will find a happy medium.
God Bless
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ObsessedwithFitness
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 May 2007 05:56 am |
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Clar
I your post today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it!!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY feel the same way lately. Almost always, actually. I am SO SO SICK of figuring out stuff, staying "away" from stuff because its either too high in fat, sugar or calories or packaging or organically incorrect. How do other people who dont stress the way we all do here...well, how do they manage to maintain a healthy weight, barely exercise and eat what they want, regularly?????? We must be too obsessed. I agree wholeheartedly with you, Clar. I do. I am sure we are not alone. The only trouble is I am not willing to gain back the weight I lost, but I want my freedom back to stop the madness and eat whatever I want!! Yes, I want it ALL..and darn it, why can't I have it??????? Who says we cant?? How normal is it anyway to obsess the way I do over food counts, portion control, and fat grams?? But HOW do I do it? How do I manage to get rid of this fat without counting everything, avoiding everybody else's birthday cake all year, and working out for 2 hours a day?????? Cant be healthy for me. I bet if my stress level was lower, and I was more relaxed, I would burn fat like I incinerator. SOOO at the end of my rope and have been for weeks. Your post really hit home Clar.
For such a young girl- I believe you are brilliant!!!  Add that to your list!!!
OWF
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the magic of action
New Member
| Joined: | 9 April 2007 |
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| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: 8 May 2007 11:03 pm |
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Last edited on 6 June 2007 06:40 am by the magic of action
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 May 2007 11:42 pm |
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| CG - as you can see, your post rings true for many of us LOL! There has to be a happy medium for everything in life, including our dieting & exercise habits. It does get to be too much after awhile. Although I do still count calories daily, I don't go any further than that - except trying to make healthy choices. I am not dedicated enough to figure out anything more - like percentages of this & that. If I had to go that far, I would truly fail. I realize you don't have control over what's bought at the grocery store - that does make it harder for you. But just make the best of what's available. Your new carefree approach may really be a 'freeing' experience for you. Just know you are SO not alone in these thoughts and frustrations. We hear & feel you totally!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 May 2007 12:54 am |
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Hey CG , I hear ya! When I get to that point, it seems to be when I go back to the WL4I plan. Then all I have to do is eat the food on the plan, until I am satified, and no counting! I did count and track the first cycle this time, but haven't since. I just can't make myself write down another calorie or gram of protein. After just so long, I get so tired of it!
However, that said, I know what happens when I don't track it and go free-style! Like my 3 "cheat days" this past weekend. I made many good choices, but still ate more food, and things I wouldn't have, if I'd been writing it down. And my weight went up right away!! To maintain, I think I could do it. But, to actually drop the pounds off, I need a plan or some type of accountability. Good luck on your new plan.............let us know how it goes.
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 May 2007 07:06 am |
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Thanks everyone, for supporting me!!
I know there is quite a good chance of backsliding a bit, but I just can't take the calorific stress anymore. I have too many other things to worry about.
Threw a spring Interact (service club at school) social this afternoon. Had a blast, but was sooooo tired afterwards. I am NOT getting enough sleep. (So it's totally brilliant to be staying up to type this at ten.. great, I'll get a full 7.5 hours.)
PLEASE HURRY SUMMER!
Seven more days of school...seven more...then...FREEDOM!
We are going to see spiderman next week. Me and three guy friends.
Guy friends are so much better than boyfriends.
Okay, must crash now, and would rather do it in bed than onto the keyboard.
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 May 2007 03:14 am |
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'Ello cph.
I am soo tired. I think I'm going to go to bed at like eight...
Today I've had a bagel, a pack of pb crackers, mandarin oranges, mini snickers, four marshmallows, 20 oz water w/Crystal Lite packet, few glasses of diet coke, three slices of pizza. I really wish I'd eaten one less slice of pizza cause lately dairy has been making me sick, and I'm afraid I will really regret it here in a bit.
I am so looking forward to summer.
Here's my schedule:
Tomorrow--Senior awards (the rest of the school gets to watch...probably THE most boring thing ever, but anything to get outta class ); extra credit in English (involves reading a poem...I need it, as I just made an 80 on a quiz ); camping starts tomorrow night
Saturday--working the "early" shift, from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.; back to camping
Sunday--church and camping
Monday--realism test in English; unit test in spanish
Tuesday--Band Banquet (theme: heroes. this is the part where we eat and give out funky superlatives i.e. most likely to take over the world, most dependable, loudest player, next band director, etc etc)
Wednesday--HOPEFULLY a six weeks test in spanish...she said it will either be Wednesday or Thursday...but I want to skip thursday...
Thursday--Spiderman 3 with my buddies!
Friday--Underclassmen Awards, then skipping the rest of the day
Ok, I'm going to go do...something, now. Maybe just sit and read on the back deck. Or play frisbee. Or walk on the treadmill. All of those sound good.
clar
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 May 2007 03:35 am |
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Thanks for the very kind message that you left in my diary!! You really are a great friend, and I'm glad that you sound like you're smiling again. I'm also glad that you're calming down in terms of the numbers. I think maybe just getting in the calorie range is what I'm gonna aim for now. I started to be sad over not getting enough protein/fat/carbs, and like you, I just got fed up. I don't want the calorie calculators to rule me either.
Spiderman 3- hope you enjoyed the film!!
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 May 2007 03:53 am |
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Unfortunately that was not today, but next Thursday. I wish it had been today!
Did you go see it? Did anyone who's reading this go see it? I have heard many varying opinions.
clar
PS--As I expected, about ten minutes after I typed my post my stomach went all...yeah. When will I learn not to overdo it on the pizza, yeesh.
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Chocoholic
Senior Member
| Joined: | 29 April 2005 |
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| Posts: | 341 |
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Posted: 11 May 2007 10:48 pm |
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I love your post from Monday. Sorry I'm a little behind on reading other people's diaries, but it's fabulous and I totally agree. Good luck being carefree!!! 
ObsessedwithFitness wrote: How do other people who dont stress the way we all do here...well, how do they manage to maintain a healthy weight, barely exercise and eat what they want, regularly?????? We must be too obsessed. I agree wholeheartedly with you, Clar. I do. I am sure we are not alone. The only trouble is I am not willing to gain back the weight I lost, but I want my freedom back to stop the madness and eat whatever I want!! Yes, I want it ALL..and darn it, why can't I have it??????? Who says we cant?? How normal is it anyway to obsess the way I do over food counts, portion control, and fat grams?? But HOW do I do it? How do I manage to get rid of this fat without counting everything, avoiding everybody else's birthday cake all year, and working out for 2 hours a day??????
This is me!!! I couldn't have said it better myself (except for the bit about working out for 2 hrs/day--I wish!) I had a rant about it in my diary the other day. I don't understand it, but there must be a way. I'm still here despite the weight I've lost, and I still feel that I need to be here, because I still don't have my freedom. I can't be normal without gaining weight. I'm leaving in a week to spend a wonderful summer in a beautiful place, but all I can think about is not making any mistakes which will cause me to gain an ounce before I leave, and how much weight I will gain while I'm there. I'm going to try to be normal, and I should be busy which will help, but I'm still terrified. Last summer when I did that I gained 15 lb. I was starting from a much more unhealthy, unstable time in my life, but still, it really frightens me. It is PATHETIC that travelling alone doesn't scare me, meeting new people doesn't scare me (well not very much anyway...), being responsible for the education of 25 children only scares me a little, but the very thought of gaining fat makes me want to curl up in a corner and hide from the world.
So GOOD LUCK again!!!!!!!!!!!!
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 12 May 2007 01:18 am |
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hey CG. i'm happy that you have come to this conclusion for yourself. you even seem a bit happier in your posts- like you are not so hard on yourself. this is good. and you know, the real key to a healthy life is moderation (even for moderation sometimes  ) and if it was stressing you out, it's probably best to do what you are doing now. you have a great head on your shoulders!
and i can't wait to see spiderman, either! just trying to find the time! if you are going to write about it, warn us about any spoilers!
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 May 2007 02:16 am |
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I think I have some kind of stomach...issue.
I use to be lactose intolerant for a couple of years, just as a side effect from the chemotherapy. But as I slowly got back to normal, that all got better too.
Well now...
last night I got sick from three slices of pizza.
this morning: sick again from only two slices.
at lunch today: sick AGAIN from four ounces of yogurt.
TMI WARNING
(I don't mean throwing up, but diaherra...)
So...I guess I am going to have to steer away from dairy for a bit. That's sad...I like dairy. Not milk, but creamy casseroles, and cream sauces, and ice cream, and pizza, and lasagna, and...
clar
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 May 2007 04:46 pm |
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I have a new goal.
I want to be able to make it across the monkey bars on the little playground where we go camping.
clar
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ObsessedwithFitness
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 May 2007 07:32 pm |
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clarinetgurl wrote: I think I have some kind of stomach...issue.
I use to be lactose intolerant for a couple of years, just as a side effect from the chemotherapy. But as I slowly got back to normal, that all got better too.
Well now...
last night I got sick from three slices of pizza.
this morning: sick again from only two slices.
at lunch today: sick AGAIN from four ounces of yogurt.
TMI WARNING
(I don't mean throwing up, but diaherra...)
So...I guess I am going to have to steer away from dairy for a bit. That's sad...I like dairy. Not milk, but creamy casseroles, and cream sauces, and ice cream, and pizza, and lasagna, and...
clar
Clar
I have the same issues SOMETIMES. Like lately ALOT. Stress induced is my guess for my own digestive problems, and family history. ANYWAY. I found something that helps ALOT. Its a website-called DR. NATURA and they have all sorts of products they are selling. I bought this enzyme called "Digestive Enzymes" and I take 2 caplets before I eat ice cream and it helps ALOT. I also bought this acidophilus caplets-they help with intestinal flora that has been removed due to overuse (on my part) of ANTIBIOTICS and other prescription medications like the birth control pill for 15 years. So...I take those and I just found another site and placed an order for "Tummy Tamers" peppermint oil and ginger pills. I take these as well sometimes. I just started taking Heather's Tummy Care Acacia Fiber supplement in my water or chocolate milk and that gets rid of diarhea and constipation and bloating.
I hope this helps. It seems like we have very similar issues. Zenobia and I talked about this, we have tried similar stuff cause she suffers too. I REALLY do agree with my husband and I think STRESS is causing my relapse with this stuff. I really believe its self induced (in my case-and obviously NOT on purpose-I am not SICK and CRAZY!) But I do need to learn to let things go easier, not be a perfectionist and RELAX. I am trying and will keep trying. I don't know if you can relate to any of this but I thought I would offer some help if I can.
I hope you have a good day Clar and that your tummy doesnt hurt too bad.
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 May 2007 11:48 pm |
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Thanks OWF. I am really hoping everything will just sort itself out. My mom thinks I am just stressed...I have been pretty worked up about different things lately...so maybe.
clar
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 14 May 2007 10:11 am |
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clarinetgurl,
On your topic of accounting for every little detail of what you eat, there was a time when I had to do that to keep control. If I didn't have perfect control, I had none. And I got to the point where my doctor told me it could kill me.
Because of the name of this website and its calorie calculators, a lot of people think that's all this website is about. And they certainly assume I preach it. Wrong!
I haven't counted calories in years, and I don't suggest that anyone should be. (Or that they shouldn't be -- it's what will help you most at the present time.)
I wrote my best thoughts on this subject in the tutorial topic The Need to Count Calories.
We are always changing, always growing.
Peter
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 May 2007 07:51 pm |
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Peter wrote:
I haven't counted calories in years, and I don't suggest that anyone should be. (Or that they shouldn't be -- it's what will help you most at the present time.)
I thought that you did! If it's working for you, I might try it myself. It doesn't seem to be working for me by counting calories. My weight loss is moving at the same speed it did before. Only difference there seems to be a link to the computer before I eat anything.
I think it's time for me to stop personally.
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 May 2007 12:30 am |
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Thank you Peter!!!
Today I have had a Krispy Kreme doughnut, a glass of orange juice, a thing of applesauce, peanut butter crackers, and a mini peppermint patti.
I will be glad when all the doughnuts are gone. Dad buys them to take camping...if he buys a box of doughnuts everytime we go camping this summer, I will certainly gain back every ounce of the 25+ lbs I have lost!!
I would really like some potato chips right now. I am trying to decide just how much. See, I would also like Marble Slab ice cream. But I need to be below 135 before I can have it.
I would also like Mom to foot the bill for my manicure pedicure, but I have to be 133 by the first weekend in June for that. Which is looking more and more impossible every day.
Sigh.
A pox on Krispy Kreme doughnuts! How can something be so delicious?
I think I'm going to go sit on the back porch and enjoy the afternoon..
Have a lovely day, everyone!
clar
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 15 May 2007 12:42 am |
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I never just go sit. Rarely, anyway, and really need to do it more for the peace of mind. My whole day is rushed. Right now I'm entering data for food lists.
I have a puppy in the house now and while I enjoyed taking him for walks in the cloud-covered winter, I can't do that mid-day in the sun because of my skin. So as soon as the big sycamore tree in the back yard has all its leaves, I'm going to get a beach chair and go sit in the shade with my dog. He'll love getting outside more, and I'll enjoy relaxing.
Of course I'll be reading to keep improving the tutorial, but it will be relaxing.
Enjoy!
 
Peter
P.S.
If you look really close you can see the monkeys in the coconut trees!
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 15 May 2007 01:18 am |
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clarinetgurl wrote: A pox on Krispy Kreme doughnuts! How can something be so delicious?
part of me is relieved that the Krispy Kreme people have learnt to recognise me and stopped giving me complimentary glazed donuts (I think I had 4 free ones - not counting the free box-of-12 that started me off). There's no way I'm paying 90p (about $1.80) for one of those sugar-fat-flour babies.
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