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CrimsonAnimus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 July 2012 10:19 am |
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I've decided to take a break from this site for a while. I'm not relapsing - I will keep at it. But this place is becoming a little toxic for me.
Over the last week or so, I have been repeatedly insulted in another forum here on the site, called unmanly, unattractive, immoral, and accused of being here to sabotage others, among other insults, just for expressing my opinions, and in some cases trying to provide encouragement and advice to other members. I know that several of you all have seen this going on, too, and that it keeps you from posting anywhere but here in the diary forum. This is a great forum, but I want to be in an environment where you are free to express your opinions candidly without being told that your opinion doesn't matter or being personally insulted and nothing being done about it.
There is a "Tough Love" forum here (should be called the "Flame War" forum, as that is all that really happens there), but lately it has been seeping out of that forum into other forums here, and gone totally unchecked. I have been a member of other support sites before, and none of them would have tolerated a member dishing out humiliating and derogatory insults directly at other members. There's a distinct difference between giving tough love and giving a personal insult, and the difference is not at all subtle.
I took this up with the site admin here and in a nutshell, I was politely told to deal with it or go somewhere else (not those exact words, but that's the gist). So, I'm going somewhere else, at least for now.
Tom (Normandy), I haven't forgotten my commitment to you. You still have my e-mail address, and you and I can keep up that way.
Best of luck to all of you! I will be leaner when next we meet. 
Nick
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 July 2012 03:00 pm |
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Nick, I'm really sorry to hear you're leaving. It was nice to see you back and read all of your wonderful comments. I'm going to miss you while you're gone. One of the reasons I chose to join this site was because of all the supportive comments, and I also find it disturbing to see some meathead disturb the peace of this place with hostile and abusive language. I don't blame you for leaving. I hope to see you on a happier note when next you come back.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 7174 |
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Posted: 12 July 2012 05:32 pm |
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| I am really sad to read this but you certainly aren't the first beloved member of our community to leave because of the toxic tone of some of the dialog. It's truly a shame Nick, it was so good to have you back with us. Take care, and I hope you will check in on with us again.
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 July 2012 06:31 am |
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Nick, that totally su*ks. I was very pleased to see you coming back on the site after all this time and making progress. I know Zen had some issues at one point with some kind of troll.
I wish you the best of luck! You're a terrific guy. The best advice I can give you w/r/t the flame wars - don't feed the trolls ;)
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 July 2012 04:48 pm |
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| Sorry Nick, I don't blame you. Some people are so unhappy they're contagious and start to infect others around them and you simply cannot be around them. Good for you for recognizing that this person is doing that. We'll miss you, check in from time to time. Truthfully I've backed off on posting because of it as well and I hope that the admin will deal with it in the near future.
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 July 2012 02:05 am |
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Ahhh man, we lost another good person. Sorry to hear you're leaving us for a bit, Nick. I wish you all the best and certainly can understand why you need a break from here.
Some of us have left for these same reasons. I must have left at least 2 or 3 times because of the circus freak conduct here. I no longer read (ok, I peeked a couple times!  ) and definitely won't post anywhere else but here in the diary section. I entered into a couple discussions that turned real ugly; sure no one forced me to interact...but man, I didn't expect or deserve to be humiliated and called all sorts of names.  I am kinda sensitive and it really upset me.
No one can win an argument with someone who either has their own agenda and/or views their ideas as the only valid ones. Of course these people (person?) are 'experts' and apparently are now giving out medical advice; all this in between insults, name calling, and just plain bullying.
I'm bummed that you're leaving and also I feel very bad for any newbie who is really seeking legit advice.
I hope you're doing well, I wish you success, and hope you come back sometime to say hi!!!
Last edited on 19 July 2012 02:07 am by Scoobees
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 7174 |
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Posted: 11 September 2012 02:10 am |
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Hi Nick,
For what it is worth, it has been a couple of months now and I hope that things are going well for you. xo Mol
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