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suzy
New Member
| Joined: | 14 January 2012 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 16 January 2012 01:23 pm |
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Tankgirl,
YES that's exactly what I was doing before. First thing when I woke up, I'd make my coffee. The caffeine kicked in about 20 minutes later and I'd be getting my kids ready for school, in addition to getting myself ready for work. Once they were out the door I would grab a candy bar (Snickers) and be on my way, not even realizing how many calories I'd already consumed! I would estimate that I had about 500 based on that alone. Sometimes I'd refill the coffee cup on my way to work! That means that I possibly had 700 calories all before 8:30 AM. CRAZY!
Again, I didn't even realize how many calories I was really consuming until I sat down and added them up.
I'm glad I started looking into calories because I feel so much better now, eating healthier. Now I eat a proper breakfast, but yes, I have to take more time out for myself to cook and I started taking vitamins too. Now on my way out the door I'm grabbing something better, like an apple or strawberries.
If I wasn't selfish, I'd continue doing for others and not for myself and most likely I'd keep getting fatter. I started exercising this week, therefore, that's time I took for myself. Since I get home 15 minutes before my kids do and I don't have any other time to exercise, I ask my husband to watch them and take "my" time (35 minutes) to exercise. According to jsabd, that makes me selfish, so be it. I wasn't thinking ahead of the ramifications of eating the way I was, so if being selfish = positive consequences for me, I'm all for it.
The one thing I'm not getting is the logic in this forum from jsabd. There is name calling and berating. His reply to others is to bash them. I think his definition of tough love is skewed, and if that's what he think tough love is, I want no part of it. He even goes so low as pointing out other's typos and completely ignoring their questions.
When I decided to lose weight, I researched what I needed to and got my answers. The reason I came to this forum was because I am being hard on myself. I am, believe it or not, a very disciplined individual and it was my husband who said I was being hard on myself, and he says I'm depriving myself of junk food and I'm being too scrict. Yes, I am because that's what works for ME. I just don't want chocolate in my house because it's a lure, it's too tempting to me at this point and the progress I've made in the past few weeks is not something I want to throw out the window over a temptation.
Years ago I quit smoking. I'd have to say that was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. Quitting to me meant never buying cigarettes again. Just seeing someone in the car ahead of me with a cigarette in their hand out the window would make me crave one, so I avoided cigarettes like the plague, but I still saw people smoking. I was tough on myself, continually having to remind myself that I didn't want a cigarette that I wanted SO badly. Eventually, I was able to be in a room with smokers without it bothering me, it just took a LONG time.
It's the same for me with eating certain foods. I still have my coffee but substituted the sugar for splenda and extra cream for fat free half and half using exact serving sizes. It took me a few days to get used to it but it's not bad at all. I still see chocolate and ice cream in the grocery stores but I just walk away as tough as it still is, but I know in the long run it will benefit me. I know that I CAN eat chocolate or ice cream if I wanted to, but would I stop at just one bite? The answer right now is NO. I would want the entire thing. I am trying to get more self-control in the area of eating, and I'm doing pretty darn good!
Thanks for your response
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Tankgirl
Senior Member
| Joined: | 1 July 2011 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 504 |
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Posted: 16 January 2012 01:45 pm |
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Suzy,
Welcome to the mixed up world of the tough love forum.
JS believes this kind of treatment works, as evidenced by an obesity program in Singapore. Sad, this is it often turns out to be true, How many times have you read a story of someone that finally lost weight because they got sick of the humiliation? Kevin Smith, the director is an example. I engage with him because I don't often get to pick the brains of someone that feels that way about fat people (like me) , and sometimes he's an opportunity to stick up to school bullies that I wish I'd dealt with when I was younger.
One thing we definitely disagree on is how we define hedonism: He seems to do it calorically, I'm more by the price tag. Like the difference between a $2 Big mac (which always looks sat on - ewww) and a piece of fresh fish...at $6 a pound I'd say the fish is more hedonistic, even if it is healthier !
In the end Suzy JS is just one guy on a mission- we all have our own. the rest of us in the forum ( when we're not taking a break from the negativity) are all pretty nice.
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suzy
New Member
| Joined: | 14 January 2012 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 16 January 2012 09:09 pm |
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Tankgirl, thanks for the welcome.
This isn't where I need to be, I see that now. For me "tough love" was defined as the following: "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. You've tried everything else and failed. Maybe it's time for some tough love from those walking the walk? WARNING: This forum is as serious as the heart attack you'll have if you don't get serious and lose weight. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. it is still a family forum so watch your language."
This implies that someone can relate to you, maybe someone tried and failed, maybe some are just currently fighting temptation (ME), and just needed a reality check. I actually wanted to see comments from others who were going through what I am currently going through, and like it says above, "those walking the walk"
It doesn't appear that is happening in this forum.
From what I've read in JS's posts, it doesn't appear he walked the walk, so how can his input even count here? He's not even offering help he's only showing photos of obese women and name calling.
That's not helpful to me, it's immature.
JS believes that because someone is fat they do not cook. False. JS believes that a thin mother = good mother & good wife, what about Casey Anthony & Pamela Smart? They are both fit women and one was a horrible mother, the other a horrible cheating thin wife. JS believes that fat people eat more food because they're gluttons, not taking into account some fat people, like myself, were actually consuming LESS food with a higher calorie content. JS belittles people and it appears to be his only defense. JS seems to like to argue and when the other person (everyone else on the forum) stops arguing, he accuses them of being a coward, points out typos, bashes women and accuses them of having STD's and being#%@&!ty, all based upon their weight? JS doesn't answer the questions asked of him. JS has OCD and without proper therapy and/or medication he will never realize the fact that people don't want to play his game and feed into his delusions and they have what's called maturity and common sense.
JS is obsessed with obese women which is evident in the photos he's posting.
JS is a bad father. How do I know this? Because I am an open minded person, I tried thinking the distorted way JS thinks and this is my conclusion:
JS is a bad father because he belittles fat people. JS is a bad father because instead of spending time with his family, he is online searching relentlessly for someone to agree with him. JS is a bad father because no parent, father OR mother would act in a manner that is immature or hateful. JS isn't being mindful of how he spends his time and that's why he's a bad father.
I'm not coming back here, so it doesn't matter what is or isn't said. If the moderator or whomever is in charge of this website allows someone like him on it, then I don't want any part of it, it's a reflection of how the site is run as a whole. I found another more supportive site to join and besides that, I have my own motivation and determination to lose the weight I want.Last edited on 16 January 2012 10:12 pm by suzy
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 January 2012 06:16 am |
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| (post deleted due to offensive language)
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suzy
New Member
| Joined: | 14 January 2012 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 18 January 2012 02:01 pm |
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Initially I said I wouldn't respond, but between then and now some things were brought to my attention. First off, JSABD, you PM'd me asking which fat acceptance troll #%@&! I was. I am neither a fat acceptance troll, nor am I a #%@&!. Common sense would tell you that since I am losing weight, and posting about losing weight, I am not accepting of fat, you are lacking common sense. I have been married to, and faithful to, my husband of 22 years. In my 40+ years alive, I contracted one yeast infection related to antibiotics at the age of 19. I was advised to eat yogurt to counteract this problem while on antibiotics. I was told by my family physician that this is a common occurrence, and I have NEVER had an STD. I'm sorry you did!
As for the comment on me smoking? Again, JSABD, there's the lack of common sense showing, I QUIT smoking, you silly scrawny long-haired troll!
A couple of other members here have PM'd me with various information about you, along with links from other web sites to things you've posted. It's apparent that anyone who disagrees with you will be called names such as "fattie" "fat girl" "glutton" "sow" "bad mothers" "bad wives" "food#%@&!" "fatling" and you'll go on to accuse us of having raging yeast infections and STD's, and when all else fails and you know you're in the wrong, you start pointing out typos, which by the way, I noticed you have a lot of those yourself. All that being said, that's not why I came back here.
I came back to address 2 separate posts you made. One was a photo of two young overweight boys and you call them "porkers". That right there shows how psychopathic and low you really are. They are clearly too young to have an income, therefore, have no say what they're being fed. If they are being overfed it is not their fault. There's your lack of common sense showing again. One can only hope when they are old enough, they will learn the proper way of eating and they can lose weight.
The other post I wanted to address is about your comment on how special needs children have fat mothers, and you go on to say: "when the short bus comes around you'll see fat mothers waiting for them." This was the comment that struck a nerve with me. How dare you make such a rotten statement. My sister has a child with severe Autism. My sister is a fitness instructor, her husband is also in great shape. I have seen the trials my sister and brother-in-law have gone through, and, although they do their best to raise their son, they will struggle with this for the rest of their lives. The impact Autism had on their family has been devastating in every way you could never imagine. Financially (they have their son on a GFCF diet which costs them a small fortune, the supplements for their child, the special clothing because he can only wear certain fabrics, the way they had to modify their home to accommodate their son (fences, special gates and locks)), the daily ins and outs of their son's behaviors that you could never have the intelligence to understand, and yet, they are the most dedicated GOOD parents I know. This child also has epilepsy. Imagine if my sister looks online and does a google search and were to see your insulting words that are forever out in cyberspace. The impact of your words can never be taken back, think about it.
The Autism epidemic is no joke. I last time I checked odds are 1/110 children (mostly boys) develop Autism. That means if you have children, if they have children, etc., someone in your bloodline has a pretty good chance of being diagnosed with Autism. What if it's your Grandchild that gets an autism diagnosis? What if your son/daughter who is thin and healthy have this happen to their child? What about other issues such as cerebral palsy, mental retardation, Down's Syndrome, brain injuries, Meningomyelocele, speech impediments, physical disabilities. What if they're all healthy and have some freak accident which renders them a vegetable? What is finally going to happen to you in your life that makes you take it down a notch? Would you like to see your children or Grandchildren suffering due to your unkindness?
You are truly disgusting.
Although I'm no fat acceptance troll, I would happily prefer to be overweight than to have to deal with what karma has in store for you. You may not care now but your writings online (dating back to 2007 from what I found) will come back to bite you one day, I can guarantee you that.
You want to talk about the seven deadly sins? Let's talk about WRATH. In the 7 deadly sins Wrath (or anger or "Rage") may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred & anger." In this case, your obsessive anger and hatred is towards the overweight population, mostly women.
You want to speak of the Bible and religion? We can do that too. Have you ever heard about "sins of the Father". Read that. Your sins today (your anger and wrath) will come back in a way you could never imagine. If you love your children, if you love your Grandchildren, something YOU did, some way YOU act, will come back on THEM later. That, my friend, is selfish and bad.
JSABD, I really pity your family and generations to come. They will have to suffer for having a fool for a Father and Grandfather. You must be a loner, because no one would want to spend any time with someone like you, and I suspect that's where all this hate and resentment stems from. I think initially you may have wanted to help people with weight loss, but, when your true colors came out (like on that site when you were trying to get a book published), and your cruel nature came to light and you were ultimately banned from yet another forum, it just fueled your wrath. You're like a toddler. When you don't get your own way you start acting out, you have no self-control over your emotions. It's understandable, however, that a toddler would act that way, they haven't yet developed self-control.
Where does the obsessive hatred come from? Is this because you attempted to come onto a fat woman and you were rejected? Is it because that would disprove your theory that fat women are easy or#%@&!ty? Who really knows! Maybe you were raised this way witnessing your parents degrade others due to their weight. I know you made a comment somewhere that your mother was bashing a fat person in the store for using a scooter. Does your mother know this person personally? Maybe they have nerve damage? Maybe they have inherited back problems? Maybe they were in some kind of accident? I mean, how do you get by in life with the attitude you carry? How can you look yourself in the mirror everyday and feel good knowing you have nothing positive to offer anyone? The mere thought of it makes me ill. If your Mother raised you to belittle overweight people, then she is a bad Mother. Why don't you and your Mother try doing something constructive with your time and put your energies into a USEFUL cause? If neither you or your Mother are overweight, then you have no personal stake in this issue. You have contributed nothing but insults and childlike comebacks on this forum.
In closing, here's a proverb for you to remember: “Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin."
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Steampunk
Senior Member
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Posted: 18 January 2012 04:30 pm |
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You must not post to the Service any Content that, as reasonably determined by caloriesperhour.com, is or appears to be:
1. untrue, misleading, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, invasive to another person's privacy or protected data, hateful, or racially or otherwise objectionable;
I don't see how the use of the terms "#%@&!" and "#%@&!" doesn't go against the Terms of Use here. Not only does it directly go against the aforementioned rule but one could also argue that it's defamatory in nature which is also a rule - 4.2.4.
At this point it seems to me that this is a free for all and no rules exist. When people are receiving unsolicited private messages filled with obscene, untrue, and vulgar insults something needs to be done. It's even more ridiculous that it's happening to a new member who would now rather invest more time in a better moderated website. On other forums, if a member is found to be regularly messaging others to harass them, something is done about it.
This forum crossed the line as soon as the sexual harassment of women was allowed. Is it acceptable to use vulgar terms regarding race and sexual orientation as well? We should probably clear that up so we can all be on the same playing field. The fact that so many are against this and almost every thread devolves into nothing but hate speech speaks for itself. There just happens to be no protection in place to keep it from happening and I'm surprised that this place continues to be at least somewhat active.
And I have to point this out simply because it is so funny to me...the discussion turned to morals a bit further up...which I find hilarious when the commentary is coming from someone who lacks morals himself. At what point did it become moral, ethical, or acceptable from a "Christian" standpoint to be so abusive, harassing, and hateful? Why is it almost always the "righteous" that are the first to hurl insults and hate? If you truly believe in morals and follow a religion strictly, you've got some explaining to do and I would personally be worried because if you think that halfheartedly praying for forgiveness at the end of the day wipes the slate clean every night, you are likely fooling yourself. The discussion of moral and social obligation and religion shouldn't even be taking place here until and unless someone who actually follows religious doctrines and has a conscience themselves steps up to do so.
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 January 2012 08:21 pm |
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| (post deleted due to offensive language)
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suzy
New Member
| Joined: | 14 January 2012 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 19 January 2012 01:00 pm |
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| JSABD just keeps proving my point over and over! Peace.
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Tankgirl
Senior Member
| Joined: | 1 July 2011 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 504 |
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Posted: 19 January 2012 01:04 pm |
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Suzy! So glad to see you're back - we're over in the General Discussions section - hope to see you there 
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 January 2012 10:31 pm |
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Tankgirl wrote: Suzy! So glad to see you're back - we're over in the General Discussions section - hope to see you there
She only posts in the Tough Love forum!
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 20 January 2012 09:00 am |
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| Not her last 4 posts
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 January 2012 05:14 am |
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Nir wrote:
Not her last 4 posts
That's because she got found out.
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