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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 December 2008 06:53 pm |
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Ok, I have posted about this before. But, thought it needs to be in this section of the forum.
I want to know how others have treated you during your weight loss journey? It could be something good, bad, or both.
I have told several stories on this topic, so I am not going to start this one off. I let you guys use your imaginations and come with something.
But, basically, if others have supported you, said something stupid to you. That kind of thing. Maybe, someone treats you differently now, then they did before.
So, lets hear it, what ticks you off about others when your trying to lose weight.
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sweet kisses
Senior Member
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Posted: 5 December 2008 11:17 pm |
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Actually, I haven't told anyone that I'm losing weight or anything. So I guess I don't really have too many stories, lol.
Would love to hear other's stories though.
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CrimsonAnimus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 December 2008 06:43 pm |
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Well...I have no social life, so this probably isn't worth much...
But, people pretty much treat me the same. My family loved me before, and they love me the same now. When I'm out, people I interact with pretty much interact the same way, except for maybe an added smile or two. Maybe that's just my imagination. 
Maybe I need to get out of the house more. 
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ryanme
New Member
| Joined: | 6 December 2008 |
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| Posts: | 49 |
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Posted: 7 December 2008 06:37 pm |
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Of the few people I have told I was dieting and working out, most have been extremely supportive. I do have one friend that is constantly nagging me when I tell him I cant hang out during times that I planned for cardio, even if it's just a simple "I'll meet up with you in 2 hours. I need to jog, today." He will complain that we only get to hang out for 2 hours instead of 4. Sometimes he tries to sabotage my diet with sodas, energy drinks, and chips. I'm starting to question just how much of a friend he is.
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triquetal
New Member
| Joined: | 8 December 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 14 |
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Posted: 8 December 2008 11:50 am |
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I have friends who are really supportive, friends who are afraid to say one word (lest it be taken the wrong way), and a friend who I cannot talk to about this at all (I weigh considerably less than her, so to me...my overweight weight would be ideal to her and makes her feel badly).
Coming from an eating disordered background... people get scared (and I can see why) when I start to talk about needing to lose weight. How quickly it can go from "I just want to be healthy.." to.."just 10 more pounds...then I'll stop."
I'm in a lot different place than I was, too, because I work in an office now, and we only have one man on our shift. So, a lot of talk is about weight loss. People are simulateously ordering take-out and agonizing over pants that are too tight. I've noticed some small sabotaging behaviors. Women who are thin offering to pay for the vending machine chocolate for the people who aren't fat, but are just trying to get in a healthier range.
Eh, it takes all kinds, right?
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fruitloop
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 December 2008 01:07 am |
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I have one friend who is very overweight, and she was a bit hostile to me when I started losing weight. Once she realised I wanted to do it to be healthy, and feel better, not because I was trying to look like a fashion model, she relaxed about it. Also she saw it made no difference to my relationship with her (and why should it) and that helped too.
One of my cousins is overweight and when my aunt saw how much weight I'd lost she was so enthusiastic, and always talking about what a good role model I was for my cousin, and maybe I should share some tips with her and stuff. She just went on and on about it. I got really fed up with that, and so did my cousin, not surprisingly. So my cousin avoids me now, but I think it is really my aunt's fault.
Other than that, everyone has been supportive, or neutral. I do get a shock sometimes, when meeting some people because they act like "oh, you are one of those thin people", and I think, "no, I'm not! I'm really a fatty, I just happen to weigh less at the moment!" and that is a weird feeling.
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BJD74
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 December 2008 02:42 pm |
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i have never truelly been called fat, once in middle school i used to get teased and get called "grape ape" when i would wear this two piece purple pant set, and that still shows up in my mind alot. my brothers are both thinner than i and they used to comment when i'd get into the swim suit...but they have images of thin as being beautiful too.....not the best people to listen too. my parents commented from time to time, but never about being fat, just the healthy side of life...but they are also fluffy, dad is 193 and mom about 165 and they love to drink wine, eat pasta and enjoy their lives...although dad should be watching better. As for any friends I used to have, women wise...well my two would conflict. D used to think i was sexy and gorgeous (she was buff small and petite, size 2) and the other K was in her mind a 12, very round like a barrel and always trying to lose as well...would just say things like "you are bigger than me..but only a little". Looking back at pictures now, she is bigger than i. I am taller and have a silouhette and she is a barrel. (i say that now, we are not friends any longer) But I used to tell my hubby all the time, I was the biggest of all of us, since I wear a 14, i am taller, i have legs, and hips...and a smaller middle and upper body. I see it now, but i didnt then. Around them, I would feel prettiest, but not the most together. Does that make sense? He would walk away, because he was upset in my feeling inferior to either of them, and he thought that neither of them were anything to talk about.
We used to compete with each other as to who was most active and worked out daily, it was crazy. They lived near each other with no children, and i had a toddler....we could rarely beat each other, but i was always the most consistent and regular instead of a bike ride together once a week..
listen to me ranting! ha ha lol... my hubby thinks i am gorgeous and dont need to do a thing to my body. he loves every inch of me, which is hard for me to swallow sometimes. he feels i am maintaining my shape quite nicely and that i take care of myself well. my dad, he still asks me how my exercise routines are doing, and the diet. He was and is always concerned for my happiness.
mostly, its my childhood memories and my brain that keep me feeling fatter than all the women i see. its warped. i can see a woman who is obviously heavier than i and still think i am wider or larger and i then get the talk about my distorted visions of my body. At which time I then feel foolish for still talking like i am fat and out of shape.
Bottom line, I think that the other people for me, are like Jack's "little Jack's" in Pirates of the Caribbean 3, at worlds end. I have one on my left shoulder being positive and the other on my right shoulder being critical...and like Jack...I am always back and forth!  
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 December 2008 03:53 pm |
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You know, after reading some of these. I just thought of something that I find kind of odd.
Like you fruitloop, I will always consider myself as a fatty. But, now that I have lost weight I perceive others in a different view then I did before.
There are several women here in town, that I always thought were really thin. Well, now I don't see them that way. Now, I think, she's not that skinny. I bet were about the same size.
Also, the women that I thought were about the size I wanted to be when I was fat. These women were not super thin, just kind of overweight, but not by much. Now, I look at them and think, wow, they would look great if they lost the extra 10lbs or so.
It's really funny how you see others when your fat vs when you are thin.
Maybe that is why people do say things that aren't so supportive when we are trying to lose weight. Maybe they don't have the same view as we do, because of their own weight issues.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 December 2008 04:05 pm |
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Ok, I wanted to share a few of my stories. I know some of these have already been posted on here in other area. But, to bad, I am going to eat up more web space, lol.
There is this lady in town, I guess you could say we are friends  . For what that is worth. Our families go camping together on occasions. Anyway, I hadn't seen her in awhile and she stopped by to see when we were going to go camping. I think this was spring time a year or two ago. My son had made some comment about my weight, can't remember what he said, but she said and said it real snotty. Yea, how much weight have you lost? Like 50lbs or something?
It wasn't what she said it was how she said it. And just for the record, I have lost 50lbs. But, at that time it wasn't that much. Anyway, I chalked it up as jealousy.
Then there's the lady from the pool that lost weight and wanted me to join her in her quest. I didn't, cause at that point in my life I didn't want to lose weight. Two years later when I did lose weight, she never said one thing to me about it. Still hasn't for that matter.
And then there is my neighbor who thinks I have totally gone off the deep end and thinks I am anorexic or something. lol, it a good thing he didn't see me when I met my husband years ago...I think I was a zero size in juniors.
Ok, I have ate up enough space, and maybe this will give people some ideas on what to share...
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BJD74
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 December 2008 06:17 pm |
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ok, that was fun to read, and it made me think of what other men think of me. J is one of our friends, he has been in my life for over a year now, so he has been around. When we got the bowflex and i had been working out for like 3 weeks, and hadnt seen him in over 3 months...well, he saw me and said that i was "looking good! have you been working out? you look like you lost some weight?!"
i was unsure how to respond, esp since hubby was there too. I smiled and shook it off, but it made me think that there are men who definately see my changes. that makes me feel good. now, i wonder what he thinks!
my neighbors, well, we never go there. G next door, had a baby 6 months ago and unfortunately looks like she is about due to pop with another one. If i were to put us both on a scale, i wonder how different the numbers would be. i get close and think, we are both about the same and carry it differently.
I cant say how I would feel to be at my goal weight, which is about 150-160. I am 30 from it now, and honestly i wonder how different i will look?? i think i will see it in a picture. Even now though, i see pictures of me that are current, and i am starting to think...wow, i do look good. I have "flubb" on my arms, and i nitpick at things but wow, i look alot better than i used to. I always had a puffiness to me, and now that is less than it was. :) It has to be the exercising, changing the layout of the body. :)
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 December 2008 07:11 pm |
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Ok, this is fun. It's making me feel really good.
Here's two more stories- these are good ones.
I seen one of my son's teachers up town one weekend. Then the next week at school she ask my son how much weight I had lost. She is really cute and doesn't weigh allot and is about half my age, lol. So, that felt good that she asked about it.
Then one time, one of my sons friends were over and I had went into the bathroom. He ask my son if that was Kayla, or Emily. (Which are my daughters). LOL, my son said, what, that was my mom. They told me the whole thing when I came out. Apparently he thought it was one of them, cause I was little now or something like that. So, that made me smile.
You know it's funny. The good comments I seem to forget easily, but the bad ones, I remember forever.....
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BJD74
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 December 2008 09:42 pm |
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another amen sista! i love these little thoughts because as you say....its EZ to 4get the little things that are sweet and simple and always analyze the NEGATIVE.
i always get compliments about my daughter. She is blonde, tall and petite if that makes sense and she is adorable and beautiful etc and charming...and when we go out, you can count on someone making a comment.
EVERY TIME THE DO, I THINK TO MYSELF? SHE IS MINE? REALLY? WELL? WHERE DID THOSE GOOD LOOKS COME FROM???? HMM.....ME? REALLY? ALL ME???? I look at my baby pics, and i see her in me to a TEE, the hair the smile the eyes the ears even!!! There is no mistaking she is my baby, but lookin thru my eyes at her ( im brunette with curls and she is dirty blonde with not a curl), i dont see it. I cant possibly create that beauty...but apparently..... I DID! (and i give no credit to "sperm donor" because he hasnt created her, I did. I see nothing of him in her, not one thing. THANK GOD.) truth be told, he asked me to do something other than have her.......   
ok, well, maybe that is off this subject, but well, its always a part of my life and thankfully, i met a wonderful man, who i WISH had been her dad...but i never dated or introduced any men to her, so she knows D as her daddy or dad dad and will never know anything different..... 
ok, what was the original subject? hee hee lol.....oh yeah, what makes us feel good and nice things people say....so i digress but i still feel the compliment to me when they make them about her... :)
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atSeven
New Member
| Joined: | 17 December 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 66 |
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Posted: 18 December 2008 01:36 am |
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| I've received mixed responses. When I was down to 130 from 155ish, one female acquaintance exclaimed, very randomly, "You look fantastic. You've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" The first comment was flattering, but I find the "Have you..." question kind of awkward. From my parents and older sister (she is skinnier than I am, even where I am now, at 117 lb), of course I get the "You don't need to lose anymore weight" and "You are way too concerned about your body" criticism when I am just trying to eat healthy food and exercise moderately. Frustrating!
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BJD74
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 December 2008 02:21 pm |
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| please dont take this the wrong way, but i am relieved that there are others out there who may not be critically overweight but are aware of their bodies and want to get them into better condition. Being healthy is not just for overweight people, but for everyone. I think you are setting excellent examples for all around you, that just because you dont need to lose 100 pds, you can still make the best attempt while young to be smart about what you eat. Personally, I think you are very cute, love that spunky hair! but I can also understand your desire to be healthier and I think it is great!! When others say something to us that Seems to be a compliment, but you arent sure???? they are insecure and probably even envious in some ways that you are doing it. Willpower is a big thing, and alot of people dont have it. Be proud of that loss and show it off sister!
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 December 2008 03:01 pm |
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atSeven wrote: I've received mixed responses. When I was down to 130 from 155ish, one female acquaintance exclaimed, very randomly, "You look fantastic. You've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" The first comment was flattering, but I find the "Have you..." question kind of awkward. From my parents and older sister (she is skinnier than I am, even where I am now, at 117 lb), of course I get the "You don't need to lose anymore weight" and "You are way too concerned about your body" criticism when I am just trying to eat healthy food and exercise moderately. Frustrating!
I get that allot also. People don't get that it is a lifestyle change not just a diet that you go on and off of.
People often tell me you don't need to lose any more weight. Well, no, but I don't want to gain any that I lost back either. So, I can't just stop watching what I eat and exercising.
And regardless, I could stand to shed a few more pounds, I am no where near being underweight for my age and height.
I wish sometimes I had a shirt that had the weight scales on it, so people would know that and quit making comments to me about it.
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atSeven
New Member
| Joined: | 17 December 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 66 |
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Posted: 18 December 2008 05:13 pm |
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| Right! To both of you! :) I'm being healthy for myself first-- not for the notice of other people..which some people around me don't seem to realize. I feel good about myself (maybe not consistently, but a lot more often than I used to), I have a better relationship with food, I like trying on clothes and going shopping now (which is somewhat of a problem, but...I won't complain at all) --and if I do happen to get some positive attention from a certain opposite gender... well, I imagine I can live with that! ;)
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Jess185
New Member
| Joined: | 6 May 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 60 |
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Posted: 19 October 2009 06:25 pm |
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I really like this topic. I think the reactions you get from people depends on there own self esteem really. For example, I have a friend who is a little oveerweight, and also losing weight, but she has been completely supportive and not all jealous of my transformation.
On the other hand I have another friend who is really tiny, always has been, and she refuses to even mention my weightloss. She has never mentioned it, ever. I think this is because she now feels I am competition with her, but hey I could just be paranoid.
I have gone from around 150lbs to 116lbs in a little over a year. So then again, as I have lost weight so slowly, some people may not have even noticed. Either way, I lose weight for me not other people. My boyfriend doesn't like mentioning my weightloss though because hes scared I'll want to lose more lol. Which I do but oh well :) I am currently a UK size 8 and want to be a UK size 6 in all shops. I have a few size 6 pieces from shops such as dorothy perkins, but there sizes have always been generous lol.
To me its just so nice to be looking in the mirror and not feeling fat and ugly. I am finally comfertable with how I look.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 October 2009 03:58 pm |
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Hi Jess and congrats on your weight loss. That is a great accomplishment. Yes you will have it from both sides. There is always someone out there that will be jealous. So, just stick to what you want and go for it...
Good luck and welcome to the forum!
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