| out from my shell |
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romanna23
New Member
| Joined: | 19 May 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 19 May 2008 08:53 am |
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greetings all,
i'm 22 years old, female, married with no children yet and will begin another college years in september. i'm out of my shell now.
i used to be 94 lbs, but since i moved to this country and got married too, i gained a whoopy 25 lbs.
i have very little stamina, can't run like i used to, can't do back flip and roll anymore. i get sick easily, my joints hurt and i found more blisters. i go out less and and less, i turned down many invitations, i abruptly cut my study time, out from the university before i got my degree because i just couldn't concentrate on studying anymore. i refuse to answer phone and i won't open the door. I hate myself more and more, and sometimes the idea of slicing my skin with sharp objects to punish myself just overwhelming. i even wished to die early, slowly in a painful way.
i was so bitter, until two days ago, my husband was crying. he never cried. I tried to do everything to calm him down. using three different languages and many common jokes, didn't work. it was 3 hours of pure #%@&!, i've made someone i vowed to protect with my life cried.
i just changed my curtain from dark blue to white today and i start my diet now. i hope i'll find some friends and supports here. i know i can change.
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Tratra
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 May 2008 05:29 pm |
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| I'm sure you will get lots of support here. Might I also suggest you look for counseling in your area, so you can have someone face to face to talk to? I'm sure if you go to your doctor you could get a good recommendation for someone. And good for you for taking the first step to making a change!!
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wilson00
New Member
| Joined: | 23 May 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4 |
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Posted: 24 May 2008 11:23 pm |
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I can sympathize with you. I'm a little older. I'm 28, 5'7 and now weigh 150. In the beginning of this January I weighed 135 so I know what you mean about not feeling very good about yourself anymore. But there are way better things to do about it than to hurt yourself further. Then you will only be upset about your new problems. 15 pounds in 4 months is really upsetting for me. It wasn't very gradual. So all of a sudden I can't wear ANY of my clothes. I have never been this heavy. I just bought Jillian Michaels book and her dvd and I am going to be religious about it. I will keep you posted if it works.
Just remember how awesome you should feel that you have your husband there to support you. AND, like me, you really don't have that much weight to lose. I am trying to be back at 135 by the end of September. That's equal to the time it took to gain the #%@&! weight. :) But it shouldn't take you very long to get back to where you want to be. Just remember that some curves ARE very sexy and you just might not look as bad as you think you do even though you feel horrible about it. I'm feeling like #%@&! but it is always helpful when people assume that I'm only like 130. Good luck and do try to stay positive.
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