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2fat2date
New Member
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Posted: 15 April 2008 11:57 pm |
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Hello. My name is  Carla and I am 24. I am 5'5 and weigh 312 lbs. I have attempted to lose weight for so long, but cannot find any diets that work for me. I always lose interest and can never stay on track with it.
I also have another issue with losing weight. When I become upset, which is quite often, I tend to eat as much as possible. I realize that this is not healthy and I need to stop. I have gained over 75 lbs. from this in the past year. I do have issues handling my emotions and therefore when something upsets me I become a non-stop eating machine.
This definitely prevents me from ever staying on top of any diet I have tried. I will do well for a few weeks or so, then I am right back to cleaning out the refrigerator.
Also I have never had a boyfriend in my life. I would like to meet that special someone, but feel like my weight is preventing me from doing so. I feel like any guy that I am interested in is repulsed by the sight of me.
This is my first time ever joining a weight loss website, but I figured that maybe a few people on here could give me a few pointers or have maybe even been through what I am going through now. I just feel so helpless.
If anyone has any advice, commentary, anything that will help me, I would greatly appreciate it. 
Last edited on 16 April 2008 01:47 pm by 2fat2date
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 16 April 2008 12:56 am |
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Hello and welcome! You fit right in with the rest of us!!
I ate over emotions too, and you can read my story if you like... the first post in the Eating Disorders forum.
I'd like to suggest that you read the Tutorial... a page a day if that's all you have time for.
Lastly, since you're eating over emotions, keeping a journal is a good way to work on the problem. Please read The Value of Keeping a Food Journal.
Best wishes,
Peter
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 16 April 2008 10:53 am |
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| Also, check out Overeaters Anonymous; here are a couple of short podcasts http://oablogger.wordpress.com/
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2fat2date
New Member
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Posted: 16 April 2008 01:45 pm |
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Wow! Your story was touching! I know exactly how that feels. I just don't know how I am going to have the will-power that you obviously had to get through this. I know I am pretty emotionally unstable.
Thanks,
Carla
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CodeMonkey
Senior Member
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Posted: 16 April 2008 02:59 pm |
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Good morning Carla! Welcome to the forum.
In the past I would over-eat due to boredom, but I have eaten when I'm upset. Heck, I'd over-eat for almost any reason!
My bad habit is eating in front of the television. I can't just sit there and watch TV, I have to mindlessly snack on something while I'm watching. I think what has helped me is I have tried to replace the type of food I would snack on. Baby carrots are almost perfect. 100 grams of baby carrots are 35 calories. Celery and cucumbers are even better, but I know a lot of people don't care for them. My kids won't eat celery unless it's covered with peanut butter. 
Something else I've done is try to replace my "bad" activities with something good. Instead of sitting in front of the TV where my hands and mouth don't want to be idle I do something more active. My wife loves it, we rarely have any dirty laundry or dishes because I do them as soon as I can (we have a large family so it's rare that all our laundry is washed). I've been doing a lot of yard work which this time of year it's perfect because the temperature outside isn't so bad. Last night I couldn't do any yard work because I wasn't available until after 9 PM so I went to the local park and walked for 3 miles (not something I recommend you do if you haven't walked before).
Before I decided to lose weight I felt that I was "doomed" to stay heavy and was just going to accept it. When I started my job I met a co-worker who lost over 200 pounds without surgery or excercise. I've seen her before picture and I couldn't believe she was the same person! All she did was replace the type of food she'd normally eat. Her boyfriend had dumped her and I think she suspected it was due to her weight. She was the one who pointed me to this website. She never posted in the forums, she just used the tools on this site to calculate the calories she was eating. When I started working here she was trying to decide between 3 guys which one she wanted to be with and last October she married one of them. Anyway, seeing what she was able to do on her own helped me realize I could do it too.
Now that I'm done blabbing, I have to agree with Peter with keeping a journal (even though I really suck at it). I bought a notepad from the dollar store that I keep in my back pocket and I make a note on every little thing I eat. It was recommended I keep my diary here up-to-date with my food log but there are times when I'm too embarassed to put that out to the public. If you're like that I still think keeping a food log in a notepad will help you a lot. I ran across a post Peter made where a member here created a daily food diary to help keep track of your intake and I think it's a great idea. You can check it out at DailyFoodDiary.net.
Only other advice is to use the tools and forum here. The Food Calories & Nutrition Calculator here is one of the best I've seen out there. Definately read the Tutorial. Don't be discouraged if you slip, it happens to ALL of us. Read as many post you can for motivation and definately start a diary here. I try to read posts from the all-stars here (Peter, Nir, clarinetgurl, DeterminedGal, Hisgal, just to name a small handful) and have learned so much from what they have posted. Eat a lot of vegetables and drink a lot of water. Start slow. Don't think you can instantly give up your favorite foods, just replace or cut back a little at a time. My addiction was Coke. I went from Coke to Coke Zero, then Diet Coke, then I cut back the number that I'd drink, and finally I cut out all carbonated drinks. The only thing I drink now is water. If I tried to stop drinking Coke and switching to water in one shot I would have failed.
You mentioned not ever having a date. Don't use that as motivation for you to lose weight. Lose weight for yourself, not for anyone else.
Oh, and don't celebrate any weight loss by ordering a pizza or any other "cheat" foods, I've made that mistake too many times. 
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 16 April 2008 04:57 pm |
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2fat2date wrote: Wow! Your story was touching! I know exactly how that feels. I just don't know how I am going to have the will-power that you obviously had to get through this. I know I am pretty emotionally unstable.
If I could have solved it with will power I would have done it in a week.
I'm still working on it after years and years. But I'm getting better all the time, and enjoy life!
You can too.
Peter
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kalypso
Member
| Joined: | 3 March 2008 |
| Location: | Eh?, Canada |
| Posts: | 165 |
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Posted: 16 April 2008 05:16 pm |
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Hi there, when I saw your topic I knew right away that myself and pretty much everyone here could relate with you at one time or another. You've come to the right place, you'll find a great support group here! 
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jerseygirl
New Member
| Joined: | 13 April 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 13 |
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Posted: 17 April 2008 03:30 am |
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| I too have done different diets and within a week or two was raiding the fridge. I loose interest easily. I have trouble accepting that I need to do this for myself. If I was told I needed to loose weight to donate a kidney or something to a friend I'd have it off in no time. Why do we think we are not important enough to do this for us? I've been avoiding places that I may run into someone I know or places where there are many people. We can't let this take control of our lives. I am here if you need to talk to someone. I can relate. We can do this!
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2fat2date
New Member
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Posted: 17 April 2008 02:43 pm |
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To everybody,
I appreciate all of the advice and personal stories that everybody has posted. It means a lot to know that I am not alone. I just hope that I can keep my head up and accomplish what I need to do. I know that what I am doing to myself is not healthy and could eventually lead to worsened health conditions or even death. I don't want to live like this anymore. I guess that it has just taken me a long time to realize that I need to start doing this for myself instead of letting everybody else bring me down.
carla
Last edited on 17 April 2008 02:44 pm by 2fat2date
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Melissa
Member
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Posted: 17 April 2008 04:58 pm |
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Hello Carla!
Welcome to the forums! I am relatively new here, but I am really enjoying the website, the tools (I love the calories calculators, both to see how much calories are in the food that I eat and in the activities that I do). I am learning a lot from reading other people's websites, journals, and from the people I am meeting.
I think you have found a good community to be a part of. Dont give up! You can do this! There are so many people here who are in the same boat that you are. Many who have reached their goals, and many who are just starting out, like you and I. Just start by making small changes--I am journaling everything that I eat. That is helping me a lot. Its making me focus more on what I put in my mouth. I am also an emotional eater, so journaling is helping me with that as well. When I am feeling stressed or unhappy or emotional, I am trying to find other ways to handle my emotions besides eating. I am getting back into walking, which is relaxing me, and have started other hobbies. Find something that makes you happy and helps relieve some stress!
The other posters are right--dont do this for a guy or for anyone else. Do this for yourself!
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brook_06
New Member
| Joined: | 28 April 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 31 |
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Posted: 28 April 2008 03:42 pm |
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first Congratulations on taking a step by joining a support group!  Second of all I think your most defeating obstacle is the "I can't". Your second most defeating obstacle is your self image. I do not have as much to lose as you do, so I won't tell you I understand... I do not. I will tell you I have experienced many similar things as you. I used to binge when I was upset. I was often upset because of how I felt about myself. You may not want to do this, but I would recommend talking to your doctor about anti-anxiety medications. Some of them have a pleasant wt loss side effect. Be sure to tell him/her that you do not want to take one that has wt gain as a side effect. If anxiety is your major reason for eating then this may help eliminate some of that. (FYI I have done this in the past) I also didn't have many boyfriends and my nicknames ran from thunderthighs to big but bertha. So I had serious self esteem issues.
I know sometimes I come across with a very can do attitude and I apologize if that is frustrating for you. I know everyone thinks well if they would just stop eating as much then they would lose wt. and I know it isn't that simple.
Start out with small changes you can stick to. I think you should start by removing the piggy's from your intro page!!! Gradually incorporate more changes into your life as you can handle. The food journal is a great change that you can incorporate that will be easier to stick with. Make sure to use this as a positive tool. If you let it get to you, you will become anxious again and overeat. Maybe when you notice yourself getting overwhelmed you read, take a short walk, take a hot shower/bath, call a friend, draw a picture, write down how you are feeling (anything to divert attention from eating) log on to CPH and ask for help. Next you may want to try switching to lower calorie alternatives (this does not mean you can eat more, it is just to fill in where your having problems temporarily), begin an exercise regimine (start with 15 min a day if that is all you can do. You will work your way up... the path is slow but sure!), replace regular soda with diet (this will be hard at first, but I can't drink regular anymore it's gross), add more water to your diet, have a friend who maybe wants to lose weight too and you can be buddies call her in your time of need and make sure she knows she can do the same.
As for the boyfriend... I have a friend that is 5'4'' and was 260 when she met her husband (who is like my husband 5'8" and about 140). However, she is abundantly confident. She has always been beautiful to me inside and out. She is now down to 190lbs. and feels great about herself. Sure men are often attracted to the skinny things, but do you want a man like that? If you meet someone who loves you at your largest he will love you just as much at your smallest (he won't love you more, he'll be proud of you for your accomplishmetnts) My husband has been very supportive of my weight loss but he has never once said anything about my weight except that he loves me for who I am and wants me to lose wt. if that will make ME happy. You are still very young. Do not lose wt. to get a boyfriend/husband. Lose wt for yourself if you get a boyfriend in the process, whoo hoo!!! Also don't set your physical standards for a man too high. This is not to say that you should settle but you are asking men to look past a physical attribute that you are not crazy about in yourself, you should do the same for them. Some of the most beautiful, kind, caring, loving, considerate people have flawed exteriors. (This makes them even more of a gem) Once you fall in love with their perfections you will fall in love with their flaws.
One more thing: set small goals. If you are 312 and want to get down to 130 do not remind yourself on a daily basis that you need to lose 182 pounds. Set 5 or 10 lb goals. These are attainable. You didn't gain weight overnight, so unfortunately you will not lose it overnight, so do not be discouraged. If you are faithful to yourself you should notice results in a couple of months. Treat yourself when you attain mile markers: i.e. when I lose 20 pounds I am going to buy a great pair of walking shoes. At 40 pounds I will get a spa package. At 60 pounds I will get some great workout pants. (Never use food as a reward!!!)
I don't know if I have helped, but if you need me I am at Alot of work to do under new members.
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