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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 March 2007 05:01 pm |
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Some people who are overweight/obese say that they're happy being that way. They feel that they don't need to lose weight because they're happy with their insides. They rock fashion like they're on a catwalk, and they're probably ALWAYS smiling...
But you do think it's possible to be overweight/obese/underweight and happy?
I personally feel that maybe these people are indenile...there's so many things that you have to put up with when you're underweight, e.g. being thought of as anorexic/bulimic and people seem to think it's okay to tell you to eat something. On the other side, when you're overweight you can't wear the clothes that appeal to you most, you might have to shop in certain stores because others don't have your size, people don't want to know you so you become invisible, etc.
I DID try the "fat and happy" thing, but it didn't last. The next time I went shopping, I still left the store crying. Plus I doubt at this age that anyone would look beneath my weight at my personality. I was also interested in seeing myself without the extra weight for the first time.
I think maybe it's not possible to be happy and overweight/underweight, unless you're in the process of taking steps to change that.
Last edited on 4 March 2007 05:05 pm by Heavenseventeen
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fsahurie
Senior Member
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Posted: 5 March 2007 01:55 am |
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Simple answer to this question, no.It must hurt Deep inside for a obese person to look at themselves in the mirror.Now, being overweight must not hurt as much, but still must hurt.
Felipe
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nevd
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 22 May 2007 05:06 pm |
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If someone claims to be happy, who am I to disbelieve him or her?
The downside of being obese, of course, is that, no matter how happy a life, it's likely to be shorter than necessary, just because of the complications and strain on organs imposed by the condition...
But human beings are a disparate lot, so I wouldn't disallow the possibility of obesity and contentment coexisting.
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jillybean720
Senior Member
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Posted: 23 May 2007 02:50 pm |
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Of COURSE you can be happy and obese. My god, should weight rule our entire existence? Heck no! But just because you are a happy person doesn't mean you're in denial.
I've been hovering around 300 pounds for about 3 years now (and was never thin before in my life--I was over 200 pounds before I even started high school). Does that mean I should spend every day locked in my room crying and feeling sorry for myself and angry at the world? Not a chance.
I WAS very upset about my weight and my body for a long time, but as time went on (and my peers aged and matured), I realized that I could still do anything the other "thinner" people could do. By the time I graduated from high school, I had participated in numerous clubs (French club, Future Teachers of America, a writing group), organizations (public league women's softball, Service Corps), and extra curricular activities (choir, drama, madrigals--a by-audition-only singing group). I had a ton of friends and was never left sitting home alone on a Friday or Saturday night, and even actively participated in EXTRA gym classes during my study halls.
When I went to college, I immediately made a lot of friends, went to parties, got good grades, and overall just had a blast. Why let my fat get in the way? It was no reason to hide--I was still very sociable and outgoing and fun, and people saw that.
Now I'm out of college and working in "the real world." And I'm doing great! I'm engaged to a great guy who loves me (and doesn't care about my weight!), I have a great job and have more than DOUBLED my salary in less than 3 years working full time, I live in a nice high-rise apartment near the city, and I have a loving a supportive family that keps growing (as my sister got married about a year ago and had her first baby in February).
I guess my point is, why let one single aspect of your life determine whether or not you're happy? My weight will be a struggle for the REST OF MY LIFFE. Even once I've lost all the excess, I won't EVER have a perfect body, for I'll have loose skin and stretch marks and all that jazz. Does that mean I shouldn't EVER be happy?
Last edited on 23 May 2007 03:11 pm by jillybean720
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I_Love_FX_Shows
New Member
| Joined: | 10 April 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 54 |
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Posted: 23 May 2007 08:21 pm |
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Personally, I'd never be happy being overweight. It's just not who I am.
Psychologically people are very different so I think it's possible for some to be overweight and happy with themselves.
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trimB
Moderator
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Posted: 23 May 2007 10:30 pm |
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jillybean720 wrote: Of COURSE you can be happy and obese. My god, should weight rule our entire existence? Heck no! But just because you are a happy person doesn't mean you're in denial.
I guess my point is, why let one single aspect of your life determine whether or not you're happy? My weight will be a struggle for the REST OF MY LIFFE. Even once I've lost all the excess, I won't EVER have a perfect body, for I'll have loose skin and stretch marks and all that jazz. Does that mean I shouldn't EVER be happy?
Your attitude seems so well-adjusted, healthy, and balanced... how inspiring! Maybe another way to say it is that being thinner won't automatically fix your life or make you happy - and being overweight/obese doesn't automatically make you unhappy. I think it would be vastly oversimplistic to suggest either one.
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miss katz
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 May 2007 04:27 am |
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I was happy and obese when I was 200lbs. What made me unhappy was being judged, not the weight. I was very confident in my skin. I decided to lose weight as an experiment, to see if people would treat me differently. They do treat me differently, but they still judge me. Of course I have gained different good feelings from becoming smaller, but I don't think it's a better feeling of happiness. To me it's just a goal to accomplish, a goal that serves a purpose and can open new doors of experience for me. Being obese I have fewer choices of some things, like clothing, so that has become easier now. I believe people can be happy obese, super sized or slim. Of course I had to find the courage to be happy and obese, I started at an early age. I always felt like an outcast for other things like glasses and being smart so I learned to accept and love myself being different. My unhappiness with my weight has more to do with reaching my goal. I'm still confident in my skin. Being obese is not what hurts, being judged and caring for other people's judgement is what hurts. Once you stop caring about what they think you can be happy, fat and happy or fit and happy. There is no better one for me. After all my hard work it would be a disappointment and hard adjustment to go back to being obese, but if I had to I could still be happy. In a slightly different way. Now that I'm smaller, my mom appreciates it more, and my family in general. It's sad that I had to see all this fakeness. It's hard to realize that some people judge you unfairly. I am more comfortable in public because I'm smaller now, but a part of me still resents people for judging others based on weight. That will never go away because of my experience and it shouldn't. I would never want to judge others for being the way they are. To me, big can be beautiful. Healthy-I'm not sure, but I mean I'm not healthy and I'm smaller. People can have health problems at any size and in reality weightloss is rarely about health. OKay I'll stop writing, I have too much to say. 
Last edited on 24 May 2007 04:30 am by miss katz
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margot68
New Member
| Joined: | 28 December 2006 |
| Location: | Australia |
| Posts: | 45 |
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Posted: 24 May 2007 09:26 am |
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Ultimately, being happy or unhappy doesn't have to be directly related to your weight however, if you're overweight, or obese, then generally (not always I know) you're unhealthy and that can't be optimum for your happiness.
The reverse is also true though. Just because you're at your ideal weight, doesn't mean you're automatically happy. Life goes on....
I believe this is why a lot of dieters fail and regain their weight after reaching goal. They expect the euphoria of their weight loss and the compliments they receive from others to continue but once being thin is "normal" for you and others around you, this all stops.
It's important to understand that while we can be happy and unhappy with regards to our weight, then are very many other factors in life that contribute to being happy and unhappy.
Having said ALL THAT... there are things in life I can control and those that I can't.
I CAN control my weight. I know I will be healthier (and therefore happier) at my ideal weight so it's in my best interest to maintain my weight at my goal.
I'll save the "unhappiness" for things that are out of my control!!
Not sure that made a lot of sense but I hope you got the gist!
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margot68
New Member
| Joined: | 28 December 2006 |
| Location: | Australia |
| Posts: | 45 |
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Posted: 24 May 2007 09:29 am |
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oh I also want to add that I absolutely do NOT believe anyone who says "I'm happy with my body this way"
That's got to be a lie.
You mean to tell me if that overweight person who says "I'm happy with my body this way" was given the opportunity to have a normal weighted body for the rest of their life at the click of my fingers, they wouldn't jump at the chance????? Of course they would!!!
What they're saying is they're not going to put in the effort... a normal weighted body is not worth the effort they think it requires at this point in their life...
They'd rather have their cake (and eat it too... hehe)
It's their choice... I understand that but I can't believe they're truely happy being overweight.
I know I sure wasn't!!!
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fsahurie
Senior Member
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Posted: 24 May 2007 06:10 pm |
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You must be kidding?Thin people never go hungry and eat what they want, when they want, so they have their cake, and their body!
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pink***
Senior Member
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Posted: 24 May 2007 10:17 pm |
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| I think it is possible to be happy with your body and be overweight/underweight, however, you will probably not be truely happy in yourself as eating unhealthy foods/not getting enough nutritional food would affect your mood. I can only say this from my experience, I am currently underweight and even though I am happy with my shape and size, because I am not eating enough nutritionally it sometimes affects my mood. I can only say this is probably true if you are obese and eating foods that could affect your mood, eg containing a lot of sugar etc. Not that I'm a psychologist, just my own little theory :)
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 26 May 2007 01:43 am |
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If you had asked can you be "Obese/overweight and healthy?" I would think the answer would have to be no.
So if you are happy being obese, then you must be happy with the fact that down the road you will likely have complications from your obesity and a shorter life.
I couldn't be happy with that.
Peter
P.S.
Heavenseventeen, I'm off in a few minutes to the theater to see Pirates. I'm happy with that!
And I'll be thinking of you.
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 May 2007 05:13 pm |
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Peter wrote:
Heavenseventeen, I'm off in a few minutes to the theater to see Pirates. I'm happy with that!
And I'll be thinking of you.
Not talking to you anymore... . Tell me if it's good!! I'm getting mixed reviews across the net.
Last edited on 26 May 2007 05:14 pm by Heavenseventeen
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 26 May 2007 07:33 pm |
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Fantastic!
I never did fully understand the very complex plot, but it didn't matter. I was terribly entertaining.
The graphics are amazing, and Jack Sparrow is at his best. Jack and the other Jack, the monkey has a much bigger role!
BE SURE TO SIT THROUGH ALL THE CREDIT FOR THE ENDING!
(It's a funny thing. I'm from LA and all my life we sat through the credits. I never thought about why... I kinda like listening to the theme music and thinking about the story line that just had me totally involved for two hours. Maybe in LA it's because just about everyone knows someone in the "industry," and it's out of respect. But I moved up to Washington State and the SECOND it's over everyone pops up from their seats. In one theater they even turned the lights on and started cleaning till my LA friend yelled at them!)
As we were leaving the theater in a loud, deep pirate accent I shouted my favorite line from the movie to my friends (and for all to hear):
"Aye matey, slap me twice and hand me to my mamma!"
I was funny!
Arrg!
Peter
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 11 June 2007 08:04 pm |
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margot68 wrote: oh I also want to add that I absolutely do NOT believe anyone who says "I'm happy with my body this way"
That's got to be a lie.
You mean to tell me if that overweight person who says "I'm happy with my body this way" was given the opportunity to have a normal weighted body for the rest of their life at the click of my fingers, they wouldn't jump at the chance????? Of course they would!!!
What they're saying is they're not going to put in the effort... a normal weighted body is not worth the effort they think it requires at this point in their life...
They'd rather have their cake (and eat it too... hehe)
It's their choice... I understand that but I can't believe they're truely happy being overweight.
I know I sure wasn't!!!
well, to put it into different terms- i am by no means monetarly rich. i couldn't live on my own comfortably, or probably even safely. but, where i am right now, i am happy. sure, if someone offered me a million dollars, i would jump at the chance, no doubt! but, i am happy where i am right now. happy as a person. and maybe having that million dollars would make me miserable in a different way. would i be able to trust other people, would i worry about being used? would it change me as a person? who knows what would happen. can i be poor and happy? sure. and that is not a lie.
and i don't neccessarily think that obese people don't think it's not worth the effort. they just have different priorities. it's a complex question with lots of variables and shades of grey. why judge who should and shouldn't make a person happy? that's just my opinion. maybe if a person was told to just think of themselves in terms of thier weight, they could say that they are not happy, but who knows. maybe that would still be happy with it. no one can really say except for that individual. anything is possible.
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trimB
Moderator
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Posted: 11 June 2007 09:08 pm |
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interesting analogy, zen. makes me think that being happy isn't quite so simple as either/or. then again maybe it is, since it's all in your mind. then again, everything is all in one's mind, right? okay, maybe that's getting a little too philosophical! 
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seminakedcats
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 June 2007 06:50 pm |
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If anyone wants to get really philisophical about happiness, but in a good way, I suggest a book by Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert called Stumbling on Happiness. It is not a self-help book but instead an interesting take on what/why and how we are happy, and the variants that apply to different people, lifestyles, etc. Here's the link if anyone is interested. There's a blog and everything! randomhouse.com/kvpa/gilbert/index.html
Whenever I really like a book I try to find the author's info and write to them. Daniel Gilbert is one of many who wrote right back. I like that.
Kit
Last edited on 12 June 2007 06:53 pm by
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voodoodoll
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 June 2007 12:40 am |
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zenobia wrote: well, to put it into different terms- i am by no means monetarly rich. i couldn't live on my own comfortably, or probably even safely. but, where i am right now, i am happy. sure, if someone offered me a million dollars, i would jump at the chance, no doubt! but, i am happy where i am right now. happy as a person. and maybe having that million dollars would make me miserable in a different way. would i be able to trust other people, would i worry about being used? would it change me as a person? who knows what would happen. can i be poor and happy? sure. and that is not a lie.
and i don't neccessarily think that obese people don't think it's not worth the effort. they just have different priorities. it's a complex question with lots of variables and shades of grey. why judge who should and shouldn't make a person happy? that's just my opinion. maybe if a person was told to just think of themselves in terms of thier weight, they could say that they are not happy, but who knows. maybe that would still be happy with it. no one can really say except for that individual. anything is possible.
I agree 100% with what you have said. Im fat and i'm a happy person. I dont base my happiness on how much i weigh! of course im trying to lose weight, but thats so i can be healthier and fit into some lovely clothes, not to make me happy! happiness is more to me than being 130lbs, my life contributes to my happiness- my family, friends, career (well, uni at the moment) and my partner all make me happy regardless of how much i weigh. if happiness is based entirely on a persons weight i dont think they are a very well rounded person.
However, i can see that being fat is something that can contribute to unhappiness, but on balance if everything else in life is going right for someone then overall they will be happy. Im sure that makes me sound like a total utilitarian, but i think there is some truth in it.
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 June 2007 12:09 am |
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[code][/code]
I am trying to figure out these little boxes of quoting people, so forgive me if I make a mistake.
This is a very intelligent response and I agree with it. I happen to beleive that we are all in existence for a reason and there is a lot more important things than just our own physical gratification. Yes, I am here also trying to lose weight, but if I look at myself honestly, I can't deny that wanting to lose weight is vanity and self centeredness. Even if it is about my health. I should really be more worried about what I can give of my love in helping others, and through this giving of love, for me, comes happiness. I don't have to have a certain physical makeup to be capable of experiencing that happiness. It seems no one knows of unconditional love anymore, which is really sad.
Last edited on 16 June 2007 12:12 am by Sassykat
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 16 June 2007 06:39 pm |
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Sassykat,
You should be able to just click on the Quote button. Then if it quotes more than you want, just delete what you didn't want quoted.
If you mess up, just hit the back arrow and start over.
Peter
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 June 2007 07:22 pm |
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| Thanks Peter! I needed that!
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seminakedcats
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2007 05:46 am |
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Sassykat wrote: It seems no one knows of unconditional love anymore, which is really sad.
And this is why I have cats! They have never ONCE told me I was too fat or very bad at math! On the downside, they also wouldn't tell me if I was getting ready to walk out of the house with my skirt tucked in my pantyhose... But, as Steven Wright says, "You can't have everything.... Where would you keep it?"
Kit
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Fatale
New Member
| Joined: | 9 April 2007 |
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| Posts: | 133 |
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Posted: 21 June 2007 04:58 pm |
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That's like asking if all the people with perfect bodies are happy?
I'm sure you can be overweight or even obese and happy at the same time, just like you can look perfect and still be unhappy. It all depends on your priorities. Actually, I think it's pretty sad that so many people tie happiness to their bodyshape. Why wouldn't a "fat person" be happy when they have friends, a job they like, a great family ... I gained lots of weight when I had my babies and I still fight to get some of the extra weight off. But I'm happy because I have three great kids. It doesn't matter so much that my @$$ is somewhat bigger now. Everybody whom's happiness depends on the right weight should get help. I understand, gaining weight or not losing weight quick enough can be frustrating, even depressing at times, but weight and bodyshape is just a small part of you. There's so much more to a person and you should find happiness in other things.
Jillybean720 said it! Weight is only one aspect of life! That is a wonderful attitude, and your attitude is what makes you attractive in the end. *standing ovations*
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 June 2007 09:22 pm |
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That's like asking if all the people with perfect bodies are happy?
Exactly. And so many times you hear or read about people that say 'when I loose all this weight I am going to be happy, find the perfect mate, find the perfect job, etc.' and actually think this is the miracle cure for everything missing or wrong in their lives. And when all this stuff doesn't happen miraculously when they loose the weight, it can be devastating. Happiness originates from the inside.
On the downside, they also wouldn't tell me if I was getting ready to walk out of the house with my skirt tucked in my pantyhose... Ok, I literally choked on my  over that one!!!
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 June 2007 09:51 pm |
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Maybe this world would be a better place if there were more of us wearing our skirts tucked into our pantyhose!
Then we could stop judging each other already. Sometimes happiness is as simple as that. Sitting back, relaxing and having a good ole howl and chuckle at the funny things in life. When it comes down to the basics we are all only human.
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razamataz
New Member
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Posted: 7 January 2008 07:55 pm |
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I personally could not be obese and happy at the same time. This is due to some eye opening experiences as a teenager. When I was about 17 I weight just under 200 lbs. I was the happiest person. I never even noticed I was fat until I lost a whole bunch of weight (this only happened because I moved out of my parents home and drastically changed my lifestyle) and people were going nuts about it. People who were my friends before couldnt believe it. I was left thinking "wow" What a huge difference it makes to be skinny. The second I started to put on weight (I quit smoking) people noticed and actually commented on it. I have sinse lost that weight again but I know people are watching and judging. I hope and pray there are thousands of overweight people that are happy and enjoying their lives. And when they want to lose the weight, just to be healthy, people are there supporting them. Not judging them.
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DaniMae1
Senior Member
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Posted: 8 January 2008 11:05 am |
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| Well I suppose one could be "happy" and obese. I've never reached the obese point, so I am not sure. I was not at all happy when I was more overweight. I have a friend who reached 300 pounds and developed high b.p. Well she always claimed to be "happy" but I doubt she was. She was really embarrassed when she was too big to ride the Griffon at Busch Gardens. Now she has started using the gym on the Navy base and is losing the weight.
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fatjerry500
New Member
| Joined: | 7 April 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: 8 April 2008 12:05 am |
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My own position is that I know I have always been happiest when I am very fat and obese. I know this may sound odd. Perhaps this was due to the fact that as a child I was very fat and obese. My parents and siblings were normal sized. I was on my first diet at 9 months since I weighed 80 pounds. By fourth grade I was 200, 350 when I started high school and over 450 when I finished high school. I hit 500 in college, went down to 350 so I "could find a job" and lost weight and remained in the lower 200s in my 30s. In my early 40s, I realized I was happiest when I was obese and over 10 years I put on 400 pounds. I am 6'3" and now weight 640.
I admit that being my size and as I gained my weight, there were always challenges. Buying clothes that fit - and I always dress well - was easier at first and then I moved to big and tall stores. Once my waist was over 60 inches, I learned to shop on the internet. That ended at 80 inches and for a while now I have my pants and shirts tailored. Casual clothes I can still buy - sometimes. However, that is OK. Putting shoes on takes planning - long shoe horn or help. Learning to walk with the added weight has also been interesting. My certer of gravity changes as I move and the rate at which I walk gradually slowed to a waddle.
One could ask why I like being so big. I like the feeling of my size. I enjoy having a very large body that spreads around me as I sit. I love showing my size when I waddle and enjoy the looks I get. This probably seems strange to many but it is the way I am. Do I plan on losing weight? No. In fact over the last six months or so I have kept gaining. I do know that eventually I wil reach a weight where I may need to use a motorized cart. I am not there yet. I have had my bus drivers offer to let me use the nandicap lift but I still manage to get on and off. I do take up a lot of room in a bus or on a plane.
I enjoyed reading the posts. Good luck to all.
Attached Image (viewed 75 times):
 Last edited on 8 April 2008 12:07 am by fatjerry500
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 8 April 2008 05:05 am |
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| Wow jerry I had to comment on your post - even though I'm not sure exactly what to say! On the one hand, I fully subscribe to the Health At Every Size (HAES) movement and totally believe (although i admit it's a fairly recent conclusion) that being fat and happy are not mutually exclusive. On the other hand I can't honestly grasp feeling how you've described - maybe because, everything else aside, the idea of reduced mobility 100% clashes with my personal idea of happiness. But, that's my own issue, and obviously not yours, so thanks for sharing a very unique viewpoint - or maybe not so unique but at least one I've never heard before.
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cportwine
Member
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Posted: 8 April 2008 03:52 pm |
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This is such a good topic. I would have to say, I was very happy when I weighed more. Probably more happy than I am now. But, it's not do to the weight it's other things in my life. Personally, I feel like I let myself down when I am overweight. Like being out of control. I don't like not having control over my life. So, that would be the issues I have with being overweight.
I feel better and would have to say am happy with my new weight now. But, I don't think my weight is what makes me a happy person.
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fatjerry500
New Member
| Joined: | 7 April 2008 |
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| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: 9 April 2008 04:51 pm |
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| I appreciate your perspective. I have not viewed my weight as an out of control issue as that would imply that I could or did not control my weight. For me, it was in control. I knew I was gaining weight but that was my choice. Yes, I do like being my size and continue to lead a fully productive and enjoyable life. Good job, good family situation and all around happiness. Of course, my size presents challenges; however, I knew that as I was gaining and I do not mind those challenges. I know - an odd perspective - but it is what it is.
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fatjerry500
New Member
| Joined: | 7 April 2008 |
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| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: 9 April 2008 10:47 pm |
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I provided an earlier reply and wanted to add a few of my comments on being very obese and happy. When I started gaining my weight again in my early 40s, I liked the way I was changing. I did have an advantage in my job at the time that allowed me to travel almost all the time and eat out each meal. Since our group traveled extensively, our company was accepting of our meal costs. At first my travels were to smaller towns - the ones where the all you can eat buffet place is standard fare. I started my job at around 220 or 230 and once I became used to eating more and more, I found I gained weight on each of my trips. Each time I would come back to our main office, about once a quarter or so, sometimes only once every six months or a year, the folks in our office would notice how much fatter I was. For this job, I would return to previous locations about once every two or three years. The first place I returned I weighed about 250 the first visit and 350 the second visit and around 460 the third time. At each visit, the staff and managers I worked with would comment on how much bigger I was.
I liked the way I started to look especially as I passed 300. By that weight my belly was beginning to show more and more. When I walked it would be out in front. The next major change was close to 400. By then, I could not see my feet and I was learning to adjust to the change in my center of gravity as I moved. From then on, as I grew larger, I found that I had to keep my shoulders erect and keep my belly out front. By 450 I would have to walk more carefully to see where I was going and for stepping up and down. I also noticed my size was making me walk with more and more of a waddle. By then my belly would also be pushed by my legs when I walked and when I sat down it would keep my legs way apart. Those conditions continued as I gained more and more. My pace really slowed. As I would go for walks, I definitely noticed more and more people watching my size, which I enjoyed.
For me, growing larger has been enjoyable. Yes I may not be as agile but I still move fine just more slowly. I like being able to eat as much as I want and enjoy it. Am I happy only because I am obese. No. I am simply much happier when I am obese because this is the way I want to be.
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