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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
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| Posts: | 4178 |
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Posted: 17 March 2008 11:36 pm |
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Hello!
I haven't read diaries in a long time and when I got here I was afraid we'd lost you... but I see you're active in the surgery forum. (Obviously I haven't been reading that either!)
In a nutshell, how are you doing?
Peter
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Synicalchick
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 March 2008 12:38 pm |
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Alrighty,
Had my one year/1 month check up with Dr. Morton. I was there last month, however, Dr. Morton wasn't there to do my 1 year check up so I had to come back today. I wanted to cancel... REALLY bad because I have been able to eat quantity wise more than I should have been able to, and well, loving food , like you do... , I didn't stop until I felt I couldn't fit more in . AND as we all know from previous post (on the surgery forum) and doing a 'challenge' Exercise has NOT been happening since last fall. That being said..... well, I gained 2 pounds..  I have to say I thought it would be a LOT worse AND I didn't get griped at by my most wonderful surgeon .
It's been 1 year and 1 month(on the 27th) and they said I was doing great that up until this point I've had slow steady weight loss so he wanted to check the actual fluid content in my band. It will hold 4 blah blah's of saline and I was supposed to have 3.3
Basically he went in through my port with a needle and pulled everything out and I only had 2.8 if he didn't pull up on the stopper & left it relaxed. When he created suction he could make it read 3.2 so, basically some dissipated. At which point we aren't sure so it's possible that when I was filled to 3.3 it may not really have been 3.3 but today.. for SURE I'm a 3.4 and jeezy creezy can I tell, but that's cool. In the past I would lose down to a certain size.. like now, buy some clothes then slowly the weight would creep back on. NOT this time! We fixed the problem and I'm on my way to losing more! YAY
The moral of the story.. DON'T cancel your Doc appointments....
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Synicalchick
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 February 2010 02:56 am |
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How funny. I totally forgot about this particular journal...
I've lost 110 so far but am stuck and I hate exercise. so in a nutshell for my 40th bday I ordered:
Reebok easy tone shoes
Montel Health Master (that I have been using EVERY SINGLE DAY)
Body Bugg (WHOOHOOHOO! it came intoday and I start using it tomorrow)
AND last but not least, I am going to see a hypno therapist for 'Exercise Motivation'
Happy Birthday to me!
I don't update this one very often at all (obviously) so check me out on my lapband journal or the NEW one I created under exercise equipment titled Body Bugg @ my life with a bugg on my arm.
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4178 |
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Posted: 20 February 2010 03:31 am |
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Wow, happy birthday!
I've totally left the forum, but got an e-mail cause I'm still subscribed to this topic.
Great to hear from you!
Peter
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Synicalchick
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 February 2010 12:32 pm |
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| wow! Good to hear from you. Still have your waterbabies/fish? I have 5 big beatiful angels in my 110 gallon right now.
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4178 |
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Posted: 20 February 2010 05:52 pm |
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No, I had to give the fish up when I got too busy becoming a "dog person," LOL.
My dog and I are a therapy dog team now and visit assisted living homes. I also run a Miniature Schnauzer forum http://www.MySchnauzer.net, and created a number of other doggie websites for clubs and such http://www.DirtypawWebsites.com.
Nice to hear from you!
Peter
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Synicalchick
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 February 2010 01:03 pm |
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so. I went to my 1st hypno session last night. The 1st of 5. I've been having conversation with myself all week about WHAT to tell him.. how much to divulge. My goal originally was to only go for exercise motivation. One session. The end.
The more I thought about it and read his testimonials, I was like, why cheat myself? Why not change my way of thinking about more than just exercise?
I am a food addict. I love food. I love to eat it, bake it, grill it, fry it, nibble it, drink it, look at it, smell it and touch it. it's beautiful and it brings out a happy response when I'm around it, yet it rules my life. How can something that causes so much pleasure also bring about so much damage?
I actually didn't want to come clean with him because in my head, I thought it could possibly mean I would lose my desire for something I love so much. This I realize is the crazed thinking of someone with an addiction.
I really don't know where I’d be if I hadn't made the decision to have lap band surgery. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made and I believe it got me on the road to saving my life. I can't even imagine EVER going back to weighing 350+. I really don't know how I got up and lived my life from day today.
But know I find myself not only stuck in the mid 250's but stuck here for the last 2 years. It's not good enough to 'not weigh over 300. I'm still not as healthy as I could be and people that don't know me still judge me by my size.
He wanted to know WHY I wanted to get under 200. WHAT is your goal. And besides saying I wanted to be healthy, I couldn’t come up with an immediate response. "WHY do you want to be healthy?" "OH, uh so I can do #%@&!".. I said. "like what"? "I want to travel and hike/bike/canoe/ski/run & walk my #%@&! off and be outside and have fun doing it. I want to see beautiful awesome sites that you only get to see if you hike to it. I want to be an inspiration to others and make others feel good and say.. if she can well surely I can"
I then fessed up about the date rape situation in brief. This of course set's off alarm bells about armor. Honestly, one of the reasons I'm stuck in this weight range is because I'm still considered fat. Fat allegedly = relative safety. I was also, like most of us, raised to believe that to put yourself 1st is selfish. God/church members, duties, job, family then if you have anything left.. yourself. I haven't told him about the almost successful suicide attempt at 13. I guess I'll fess up for that on Monday.
I now have the chance to heal myself/my brain. part of my homework is this, that I am writing now. Easy. The hard homework assignment is having to look myself in the mirror and tell myself "I Love you" until I mean it. I am not ready for this assignment and don't know that I will ever be.
I know I'm a good person down to the core and have a lot to offer but still, to TRULY be IN LOVE with me. That's going to be hard even though on some level I know I deserve it.
We talked for an hour then did the 'talk to my sub conscious' for 30 minutes. It's hard to explain how I feel. I feel different but can't put my finger on it. I'm not ripping and roaring and ready to go attack the treadmill, in fact, I'd rather take a baseball bat to it. I can say that when I got home last night I blew the dust off of the Wii fit. stepped back on and played around for a bit.
I wanted to get up early this a.m. and work out before work. didn't happen but I do plan on working out when I get home today.
He seemed pretty happy with my food choices. We just have to rewire the brain. yay. Here we go....
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zenobia
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 February 2010 08:54 pm |
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what a huge step for you! you should be so proud of yourself. it's hard what you did- all of it. from talking about it, to posting it here, and taking on the task of looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you love yourself. i actually tried to picture myself doing that, but i just couldn't.
I know i'm really proud of you. i think it's awesome. i also think it will really help you get you to where you want to be. i'm a huge proponent of "re-wiring the brain." i went to a psychologist about a year ago, and he said the same things to me. it's a really really difficult thing to do, and in my experience, a constant battle, (i'm still working on it), but i really think it is one of the keys to getting to where you want to be, physically, mentally, and emotionally. i really hope all of the best for you and i'm sending you good vibes.
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