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Sara's diet journal
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sqzee
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  Posted: 4 June 2009 12:42 pm
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Ok here goes. After having lost 12kg I feel I am kind of in a rut. I have been slacking lately and with a long summer break coming up (I am not the best dieter in weekends and holidays) I feel that maybe a public diary would help. It is at least worth a try :wink:

A bit on me:

I'm Sara 15 years old and I live in Dar es Salaam (Tanzania) with my mother who is stationed here as work. My mother is danish and my father is tunesien but he lives in Denmark. I am born in the US and I lived there from age 5-10.

I started my weightloss in december because the weight shocked me and I knew that I was unhealthy. I changed som meals and educated myself on calories. After getting calories straight I have slowly started to concentrate on the health part as well.

No need for anymore boring details I guess:tongue: Over and out.
sqzee
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  Posted: 4 June 2009 12:58 pm
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Ok so first post.

I've done ok so far with calories but I need to not snack today. I also need to exercise even though I won't. I would if I were with a friend or in Denmark but I just don't like going running here, people say hello and it's hot and dusty, and you get funny looks. I know there are other ways to exercise but not many are available to me right now.

Food:

2bananas

5-10 cashews

4 gummibears

1 apple

1 carrot

1 banana

1 homebaked bread-roll with some Flora butter

And that's it. I did actually pass on a brownie in class, I would normally have said yes but I have not been doing to well lately and it was a pretty big brownie. I'm also having problems with my scale, I am not sure it is too accurate...  It's doing some funny stuff. I get on it it reads something, I get of brush my teeth and get on it again, and suddenly I've gained 300g.

My plan for today is to not snack. Keep myself busy. And enjoy my free time since school is almost up.

For tomorrow is nothing really. I am going to a friend's house, then to a party, then sleeping over and birthday party for her the day after. So alcohol and cake, just what I needed when everything is uphill anyway!:dizzy: Nah I'm ok. It's unlucky but I am happy to be social. I am not however throwing it all out of the window and I will control the food I eat when it is possible - so breakfast to lunch should be good tomorrow and from then it will be other peoples cooking until saturday afternoon.

sqzee
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  Posted: 4 June 2009 05:20 pm
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1 Apple

One quarter of a pack of sugarfree Polos

eggcake for dinner (egg, milk, butternut, broccoli, tomat, zuchini)

A bite of bacon

2 cookies

 

Last edited on 4 June 2009 05:21 pm by sqzee
sqzee
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  Posted: 6 June 2009 01:30 pm
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Wow... unhealthy beyond unhealthy. But I did get exercise, running, dancing and swimming. I am trying to convince myself of going running later today, but I am more tired than I have been in several months. I will tomorrow though, I have to.

sqzee
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  Posted: 7 June 2009 09:25 am
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Yah! I DID actually go running yesterday, and wasn't half bad. I hope I can keep my motivation up to go running again today. We went to dinner yesterday so I ate dessert, which is a bit unlucky but I am 63kg today. I want it to show less tomorrow though. I've been maintaining this weight for like 3 weeks. Somethings gotta happen!

All I've eaten today is pineapple. Like 300g. But I ate at 11 since I woke up late for once. So I'll eat lunch at least efter 1.

sqzee
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  Posted: 7 June 2009 05:35 pm
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Woohoo! Boojaaa! GOGO! I went running. I can't believe I mustered up enough energy for that. Pretty good if I must say so myself. Exercise is one of my biggest weaknesses, doing it alone is just not fun for me. And even though I shouldn't I feel embarassed.

So I've eaten, besides the pineapple:

2 pieces of chocolate

1 cookie

1 banana

Some cashews

Tomato soup and lots of it! With cheese

Half a roll of Polo's

And that's it. No its not much but I have not felt like eating. For the first time in like forever! Maybe I will make up for it towards the evening. I've just been thinking about so many other things, food almost hasn't crossed my mind, not to the same extent it would normally. It's refreshing.

Tomorrow I have a prom type dinner thing though and I don't know what we are eating, but its a buffet so I SHOULD be ok. I might go running before, that would be best, again the motivation though :grin:

 
sqzee
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  Posted: 9 June 2009 05:03 pm
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So, it seems I have lost a little weight. Which is the right way to go of course. I have been running every day since friday and today it seems my knee wants a break. I did well running but when I stopped my knee was quite painful, especially walking up the 5 flights of stairs to my apartment.

I wasn't going to go, but I had eaten a doughnut and some Danish candy so somehow I flew out of the apartment and onto the dusty roads.

1 apple

1½ bananas

1 ricecake

1 apple

1 doughnut

1 carrot

2 ricecakes

2 pieces of ham

some Flora butter

Danish candy

Rice with thai take-out (delicious, and I don't think it was prepared badly, it seemed calorie-light)

And lots of water

There's a party on thursday and then I will go to a friends house so its a bit iffy with food and alcohol. Although I honestly think the dancing will make up for the alcohol, its happened before that way at least. I want the 60... Really want them. I would love if it was before going to Denmark. But it will be hard since school is out in two days. Breaks and holidays are not good for my waistline!
artistjohn
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  Posted: 9 June 2009 05:07 pm
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Sqzee

Haven't got you down for a visit to weight loss challenge for a while.

How is it going?:grin: or :sad:

Artist John
sqzee
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  Posted: 10 June 2009 11:51 am
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I just wrote yesterday! Yes I know I hadn't checked in, but now its done and I think I will have a weigh in for friday as well. Its going :smile:, but lets see friday:wink:

Not too great a day today though. I will not be running because of my knee, so I can run tomorrow. Also it has been the last full day of school so I have had cupcakes and brownies and stuff I should not have!

100g pineapple

2 ricecakes with Flora

1 apple

1 banana

2 small hard candies

Sugar free polos

1 cupcake

1 brownie

popcorn

handfull of casava chips (like chips, but it only said salt and casava as ingredients, so hopefully no oil)

1 carrot

I have to skip lunch. I am not hungry so it should be ok, but since I've used calories already and I am not exercising I need to skip. Tomorrow I will run, and then off to a friends house and party. Hopefully no midnight snacks and no hangover munchies.

I have found a kind of diet buddy in real life. My good friend Megan is also on a diet, and she has lost 7kg! Good for her! She is doing it a more traditionel way, just healthy eating and exercise but no real caloriecounting. I think I am a bit more unhealthy than she is :sad::tongue: But it is nice with the solidarity - we share a cookie, or whatever if we are served and we say no if we don't want the sweets, and we talk about it, about running about if it is going well or not. Its good with the inspiration and motivation.
sqzee
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  Posted: 13 June 2009 04:52 pm
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I've gained a little after being out of the house for two days and partying for one of the days. But I'm trying to get right back at it. I have spent the whole day in my bed today and woke up late.

Thai rice, chicken and vegetable mix

3 carrots

1 apple

1 packet of sugar free Polos

Cashews (tooo many)

Orange chocolate

2 mini snickers

Half of a biscuit

And I haven't had dinner yet, which is tomato soup yah! Can't wait. My knee still hurts and I really have to rest it so there will be no exercise which suchs since it became such a good routine. I started enjoying the runs by the exact day my knee started hurting. I also need to cut back on the sweets. It's simply not good for my body.

 

 
sqzee
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  Posted: 14 June 2009 07:42 am
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So I lost weight for today. I'm very happy with that. Today I will go for a walk with my friend and her dog, so that's a little bit of exercise. I will stay under my calories of course. And then it should be downhill from there shouldn't it? 60kg here we come.

I will be so goodlooking when I start in IB next year. Now we are out of our uniform and in our own clothes. For once I will be the hot one. Well hotter at least :wink:

I will look into some exercise equipment when I go to Denmark. And also some new running shoes. I really hope my knee gets better soon so I can run again. I am looking forward to going back, 10 days yeah! New clothes, shoes, cd's, my friends, my family, cool weather. There is nothing like it. Imagine what size I am? I don't even know. And my bra-size? Hopefully much smaller! I might even be almost the same size as my friends. But I do wish I could be at 55 now so I could by new clothes for the last time, there really aren't many opions in Tanzania. But I will focus on the 60 for now.
sqzee
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  Posted: 15 June 2009 04:05 pm
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SO. Yesterday was good! But then it turned bad. And it continued this morning but now I think I have it under control. I have also done exercise today, so that is very positive, but I gained for today so... Its up and down.

3 small bananas

1 apple

3 breadsticks

cashews

chocolate

liquorice (I can't spell that)

Rice and tomato

Green iced tea

2 small bananas

1 apple

1 breadstick

I am looking into getting a gym membership but it is very expensive. I also want to start strength training, but I REALLY hate strength training, and any exercise at all! It's just not enjoyable to me. Well volleyball is, but anything else is really not. My knee was ok today, but the exercise did strain a little. If I make it on the ISSEA team (which I actually think I will) then I will be doing volleyball many times a week, so that is perfect, but I still want to continue running.

I actually truely just want to be very very hot! How vain is that? It doesn't change how I feel though, I want guys to drool. I want people to notice when I start in IB next year. I want the flat stomach and the tight muscles! So I will keep working at it. We'll see if I ever get there :wink:
sqzee
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  Posted: 16 June 2009 12:35 pm
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So I was down this morgning! So happy! But I tried to make low-cal chocolate cake and I think I ate to much, my stomach is not feeling well. And the cake wasn't even good, but maybe when it cools it will stick together more.

I don't know how I will make this day a loosing day. I was planning on skipping lunch, but now I already had cake and carrots, so that's my lunch I think. And I am going to a small party so I hope don't eat much there. I dunno, today feels doomed. And I can't exercise. Eeek... I'm annoyed. I'm tired of food! I want to fast :angry:
sqzee
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  Posted: 16 June 2009 06:26 pm
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Ugh I am an idiot. I went way overboard with chips, popcorn, juice, sweets, ice cream and pizza. Bdr. Really not good, not at all.

Why though? Why? Do I have no willpower? Or do I trick myself into thinking it is ok? It is really not because it screwed up all my plans, and I felt sick, AND I can't have dinner now either and all that. HOW was it even worth it? What was I thinking? Argh... well now I know, I hope I learn though. And don't gain, I really would like to NOT gain, please oh please that I at least have not gone over calories burned for today.

sqzee
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  Posted: 17 June 2009 09:02 am
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So I was actually down today. 100g. But my scale was having a mental breakdown or something, I was from 62,3 to 62,6kg, so I am optimistic and am holding on the .3 Anyway I had to go to the bathroom after breakfast so I think .3 is near the mark.

No exercise today, I am resting the knee. But I will go and experiment in the kitchen because I am inspired by recipies. I did try a low calorie chocolate cake, it was somewhere near disaster, allthough it does taste much better today after having been cooled, it also sticks together instead of being mush like when I first took it out of the oven!:grin::shock::tongue: 
sqzee
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  Posted: 18 June 2009 07:39 am
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I have to stop eating. NOW. Get my butt of this sofa, take a shower and do something today.

sqzee
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  Posted: 18 June 2009 08:05 pm
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Wow, I did what I said. I got off my butt, stop eating took a shower and went to a friends house. And I did a little time in the gym at her place, so it was ok.

Spanish Rice

1 apple

1 banana

Polos

Chocolate

Gummy bears

1 biscuit

Cashews

Carrots... at least 3

1 apple

egg-cake

1 apple

2 breadsticks

1 Diet Cherry Coke

I am pretty certain I have eaten more but I can't remember. I am really in love with the Diet Cherry Cokes. I know it is a bad habit I have started, since I have never been a soda drinker. But these are sooo good, and 0 kcals. 0. 0!!!! 0000000!!! Can something soooo good cost absolutly nothing? Apparently. But it does have caffiene and is not very healthy. And it makes me burp. So I've limited it to 1 a day. That should be ok.

I think I will go for a run tomorrow, hopefully my knee will be ok. Hopefully I will be ok. My scale is doing weird things and I am from 62,2-62,8kg. Which really sucks when you are trying to monitor your weight. It changes everytime I get on it. ARGH. I really need to know what I weigh. Geez.

 
sqzee
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  Posted: 19 June 2009 08:25 am
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I just realized how slow I am loosing. Its been like 1 kg in 1 month... That is depressing. But I get it, looking at what I ate yesterday. Not that it added up to more than 2000kcal but I guess I have to not have sweets and exercise to lose anything at all. I will really do my best today. I just had Rice Krispies for breakfast, I have been craving them for a long time so that's why I chose it, then I will have one snack. Then lunch. Then one snack. Then dinner, then one snack and one sweet thing. Let's see if I can try and stick to that.

sqzee
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  Posted: 20 June 2009 10:52 am
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I went for a run but my knee hurts now, and I didn't run as far as I would have liked.

Bowl of Rice Krispies + Milk

Cashews
1 small banana  (40g)

Casava chips

So this is before lunch. I'm still not sure what I will have for lunch so we will see. I wonder what that totals to though? Like 4-500cals? Geez no wonder I am not loosing... Its still only morning. I was 62,5 this morning. I don't know where the 62,3 dissapeared to so I hope I am back there soon. I want under 62 very soon.   

Last edited on 20 June 2009 01:39 pm by sqzee
sqzee
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  Posted: 21 June 2009 09:18 am
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Ah the ironi. I was up 300g... What the *insert any really crude word here*!?!?ARGH. My scale is wrong, it is fluctiations or someone is playing a joke on me. It cannot be actual fat... Please let it not be actual fat.

Things aren't going well. Just in general. I feel really unpopular, which is such a juvenile stupid thing, but in the end you can't really change what you feel, although you can try to change your mindset. Facebook gets me down. It is really absurd. I am so curious, and yet it hurts me everytime what people write and what I am NOT a part of. At the same time I need facebook to keep in contact with friends that live in other countries.

And I am obsessing about food, and thinking about it too often, because I have summer break but I am doing nothing. I have nothing to do that I am inspired to do. And I don't know what to do about it. The good thing is that I am off to Denmark in 2 days. There I will be stressed with all the things I need to do, and I will miss it even more when we go back to TZ. So not positive either. I don't know, I really don't know, nothing seems to make me happy or content more then 10min at a time. I am not inspired to do anything more than 10min at a time. But the food. This is why I went on here. My food plans, eaten today:

Banana and pineapple 400g? 300g?

1 breadstick

some water

So that is alright, but it is only 11, and we will be having a guest for dinner so that is 3-course... But it should be ok. Soup, lasagne, and small chocolate desserts. I might have pineapple for lunch, it was very nice and sweet this morning so that's good. I really don't know about my plan to loose. I am running in circles. I loose a little, I gain a little, and basically stay the same. I want to see the scale go :down_arrow::down_arrow::down_arrow:. Geez if I ever make it to 6okg let alone 55, I will do summersolts in the air.  I can't even make it to 62...
sqzee
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  Posted: 21 June 2009 10:41 pm
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These are just out loud thoughts. Don't take them too seriously.

I was thinking I should stop dieting and relax about food. Try to at least. I was also thinking that maybe I need very big meals 3 times a day so I don't snack in between. I was also thinking that maybe this is just a stupid fase where I don't loose and that I should just pull through. I was also thinking that maybe I am counting wrong. Or not getting enough exercise. I am a bit scared of this 'give up' thing I have going in my head... Is this where people let go and gain back whatever they lost?

Maybe when I get to Denmark and have things to do I will naturally not think about food as much and eat less.

sqzee
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  Posted: 22 June 2009 03:07 pm
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Ok, so for the mini-meltdown. I am definately feeling better about food today. I didn't get up and eat breakfast right away, which I definately think helped, and I woke up late and had no plans to go anywhere today, so I didn't need breakfast right away. The only thing that worries me a little is the kick-start that your metabolism needs in the morning? 

I haven't thought that much about food today, so I am tempting fate a little by logging on here :wink: But I should be able to handle it. And its almost dinnertime with lovely healthy lasagne. Mmmm. And the leftover chocolate dessert I made the other day. 

Tomorrow I fly to Denmark, so its my own breakfast and then airplane food. And then HOME HOME HOME! I am so excited and at the same time upset because I know how much I will miss it when we come back. And my friends have such limited time, as do I! There really is no best of both worlds. Once you have left the country, its out the window. I do not have plans to live in Denmark all my life, but I will still always miss it. It might be something different if I wasn't living in Tanza though, like London, Paris or New York. I have nothing against Dar, but I am a city girl. And EMDC' (economically more developed countries) are easier to live in, and hold many benefits. Tarmacked roads for example :tongue: Dar is also so far away, if I was living somewhere else in Europe it would be different.
sqzee
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  Posted: 23 June 2009 11:03 pm
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I am now in Denmark!

I have been relaxed about food for a bit so now I think it is time to put some elbow grease into it. I want a genuinely healthy day tomorrow. A day where I feel IN CONTROL. I am meeting friends tomorrow, and I think I might have  a cup of hot chocolate at Baresso, but if they have something less calories I might just take it. They might have tea? We don't have much food in the house (apartment) but my mother will shop tomorrow. I have spotted a yogurt in the fridge and I think that will be my breakfast. 100kcal for 100ml and there are 250 so that's easy math. I will also walk to meet my friends. Its like 1km (1.6miles/15min) walking. So walking is good. And we will go for some shopping and things. So more walking. But we might go to the beach tomorrow night and there is alcohol, but I am reconsidering it because of the calories, but mostly because of the health thing, and I am trying not to put stuff in my body that could trigger any mindless eating. I will see, because I am trying to get back on track.

So goals:

1 yogurt for breakfast only

Walk instead of taking the bus

Either make lunch and dinner that is mostly veggies (or fruit) or find some good healthy food

Don't let trigger foods get into your body! (this is a theory I am testing, lately food has been leading to more food, I eat a meal, but then I continuesly snack until the next one?) Not good, done with that. We want back on the healthy track.

Carefully consider if the alcohol is worth it

Food for thought: What do vegans eat on planes? Recently veganism and vegeterianism has triggered my interest and on the plane(s) I noticed what little options they would have. A veggie would do ok, there was one meal where there was a omletet with sausage or chicken, and that wasn't the best, but the other meals there was a vegetarian option. Vegans though would have to live off 5 pieces of fruit. In total. That would suck! Sorry, being a teenage here:tongue:

I could probably never go vegeterian, let alone vegan, but I do like the thought process. And meat is bad for the enviornment too, it is a large contributer to global warming. I am inspired to go the more organic root. Organic meat. Happy meat. Not that I eat the much meat, but when I do I should try to do my best (this will be hard in TZ, but I am in Denmark now so I can try). And just up my food directly from the earth and ditch packaged processed foods. Its good for the enviornment AND me! Win-win.

Wow I am positive about food today for once. That's good though! Food has been getting me down. I've restricted which made me feel bad, and then not meet those restricted goals which made me feel worse! So new day tomorrow, new start, new everything. Sara is a reborn dieter. :wink:
sqzee
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  Posted: 24 June 2009 08:26 pm
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I'm really happy! :grin::smile::wink:I did reach my goals. And no alcohol tonight. So really good! I loved getting out and moving my legs. Denmark is truely beautiful in summer. There is nothing better. :cool:

I didn't have the yogurt for breakfast because my dad had eaten it. :angry: So I considered cornflakes, but thought it too overprocessed and I knew it wouldn't fill me up. We also only had full milk. So I chose ryebread with some cheese. And a cup of tea.

Then the next opstacle was Baresso. My best friend ordered a SmooTE. Some kind of smoothie thing with tea instead. But it turned out to be much more icey. I ordered the same just a small one and no whipped cream or sprinkles. So I hope it was ok. I have no way of knowing of course. I don't know how much sugar was in it or anything, but most of it was ice of course.

Then I went to my friends house and I had 2 pieces of crispbread with some chicken and salami. I'm sure it was fine.

My mother had said she would go and shop for grocceries and buy fruits and veggies. But she didn't. Another :angry:. She was too tired. But I don't like making her feel bad so I did not beat her up about it. I went out and rummaged the fridge instead. I found some things, carrots, onion and tomato. We also had eggs (not free range but my father bought them not me, I will make sure of free range when we go shopping next time) so omelet it was. I was ok, but I was looking forward to new food. We have to shop tomorrow

Anyway, we also have strawberries which look just DIVINE and I will have some with some cream mixed with milk and sugar. I know - but I don't care. Danish summer is not the same without it.

Plans for tomorrow? Prob the same for breakfast. Then I am going shopping again with my mother and grandmother. Prob. lunch out. Dinner home, hopefully we have shopped and I am making dinner.

Goals:

Have fun shopping! Move around be happy.

Stick to the breakfast that I serve myself on the plate. Do not eat directly after the meal.

Don't stress over lunch. Choose something healthy and when you see the portion size decide how much to eat and stick to it. Don't be nervous and think everybody know's that you are on a diet. Be confident that you know what you are doing.

Don't put bad things in the shopping wagon. Don't let nostalga get to you with food. Fruit and veggies are your new comfort food.

So now I just GO FOR IT. I am so proud of my day today and I wouldn't want to ruin that now would I? Over and out :apple:
sqzee
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  Posted: 25 June 2009 07:51 pm
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So yesterday was great and today has been pretty good too. I had breakfast as I had planned plus 2 strawberries. Then lunch was some bagel and a pastasalad. I think it was ok in calories. And I just had a dinner of ryebread with some topping and some carrots and cucumber. Then I had some ice-tea and a ricecake.

I did move around a lot. I am completly sore. Nostalga did not get to me with the food shopping but it did get to my mother. She bought several bad things. And its not like chips and candy its 'leverpostej' and other danish specialities. It is annoying that I have to avoid them, but I can't deny HER them can I?

I can feel that I have the munchies but I don't know what to do to get rid of them. Option 1: Find something calorie-light as a treat Option 2: ABSTAIN

I am a little afraid of O1 because when I am in this mood food leaves to more food. But I don't know if I can stick to O2...

Hopefully I can mark this down as a good day. Tomorrow the plans are for more shopping and maybe a concert later, I am not sure.

Goals?:

Carefully consider the breakfast and STICK TO IT. Eat what you serve and don't snack after.

If you're out for lunch choose healthy. Asses the portion-size, choose how much you want and stick to it.

Keep that light feeling in your stomach, don't do serial snacking. Stop yourself.

Be happy!

 
sqzee
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  Posted: 26 June 2009 09:55 am
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It's a new day!

Did option 2. 3 times. But it was yoghurt (40kcal/100g!!!) and an apple. The yoghurt is fantasic! I don't know how they do it. So all in all must have been around 200kcal.

Just had breakfast. Yoghurt, apple and some crispbread with topping. And it's 10:45. So a late breakfast. Hopefully that means that I can make it back for a lunch/dinner. I am going bra and bathingsuit/bikini shopping with my mother. We need to go to a speciel store after once again learning that bras from big chains just don't fit me. I need expertise.

Seriously, they didn't even measure me correctly. One just kind of looked at me and guessed. The other measured around and then guessed. I was a 70G before I lost weight. So I am expecting that I am less now, but one store said I was a 70I. Now that is the most illogical #%@&! I have ever heard. And only one of their bras fit properly out of all of them. Something is wrong with their sizes.

I am also nervous of the bathing suit/bikini. Not because of weight-issues, but breast issues. I can never ever find anything that holds up. Not bikinis not bathing-suites. And I don't want things to wobble! I just don't, and I hate that they don't make fashionable swimsuit stuff in big cups sizes. COME ON. It can really make me upset and I feel like some outcast. Like I did first when I was told my actual bra size and they only sold granny models. Now they are much better and I am over that (sort of) but the revolution has not come to the swimsuits yet. Hopefully my trusty store will have something for me, even though it is ridiculously late in the year to buy swimsuites.

sqzee
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  Posted: 26 June 2009 11:25 pm
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Got some bras, and a bikini! Woohoo! I fit it! Double woohoo! I still feel fat, but gratefull that I am not fatter!

I did pretty good for food. But I ate ice cream for lunch out of practical reasons. Too long to explain. The only bad thing was that I took a second portion of dinner (small but still) and snacked yoghurt, crispbread and ricecakes. And some chocolate. I think the ice cream might have spurred that. I don't know.

And now I have the 5 day camping trip. The 5 day camping trip with booze. The 5 day camping trip with my 2 friends. I am nervous. I hope and wish that I DO NOT GAIN. Although I can't know because I have no scale but, I hope I keep the food under control even though everything is like against me. These past days have been successful, which is the right way to go after being sloppy for a long while, so I don't want this to mess it up.

I have control of breakfast and lunch tomorrow, so that's all good and then I will REALLY do my best. I am very serious that I will do my best and then I will see you - diary - on wednesday or thursday! Over and out. :apple:
sqzee
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  Posted: 1 July 2009 11:34 pm
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I have had a good day today but the rest of the campingtrip has been pretty bad. Tomorrow I will prob. be drinking as well, but I will try to make room for it in the calorie budget. I'll work it out tomorrow morning.

The reason I'm bummed is that I found an old scale that is reading me at 63/64 something because the display is broken so I can't see the number properly. I don't even know if it is accurate... Its near what I was so that's why I believe it, but still argh. There is no use though, even though I am fighting and gaining, that just shows that I should be fighting harder. Hopefully today was a loosing day and tomorrow will be also. I think I will get a run in and maybe even walk to my friends house. She lives pretty far away on foot anyhow.

sqzee
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  Posted: 4 July 2009 12:13 am
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Rule #1: Stop weighing myself on the mentioned scale. It is bumming me out and I don't even know if it works. Obv. its kind of broken.

Now, I did pretty good in the alcohol department but bad in the 'lets eat junk because I'm drunk' department. CHIPS. Could I have chosen something worse?

Anyway, tried to compensate today, had breakfast and no lunch but early dinner at a restaurant. I choose good things but the total quantity I ate was prob. too big. Then came home and ate one rice-cake and an apple.

Tomorrow I am invited to something as well. I can't seem to control my food when I'm not home. And I haven't cooked it. What to do? Try my best? I say that all the time though. I'll go for the healthiest if there is a choice, I won't overeat, I'll relax around the food and try to think about something other than avoiding food. We can be in the same room without me eating can't we? It should be possible:tongue::wink:

I've been really upping the veg at meals, which seem to have been helping a lot with the binge-type craving things I get. I must remember to add the veg (or fruit). Its important that I don't get those cravings. And also alowing myself the snack, but making sure it is veg or fruit. I know that sounds obvious but sometimes I allow a little of whatever I wanted, or maybe a replacement sweet, but it doesn't seem to do it. I think my stomach needs filling up rather.

And my dude (who doesn't want to be my dude I am sure of, and wants to be someone elses dude) told me he had lost wieght and gained muscle, even though he says he will put it on again. I kind of inpired him I'm sure, so we can't have him loosing weight and me none at all now can we? No, no, no. Esp. since he won't be my dude. We have to show him what he's missing out on :tongue: There is motivation for you ^^ It won't help the situation, I'm not dillusional, but I will feel more confident in myself.

I am wondering if I should get a run in tomorrow. If that would be ok for the knee and if I have time and feel like it. Maybe I will just ride my bike. Or maybe I won't do anything. Hopefully it will come to me and I will fly out the door and into some exercise. I walked 5km today back from my friends house to get some exercise for today.

I really want a scale though. Really really need to see what status I am at. If I've gained/lost. I really hope I am not over 63kg. I am tired of that plateau.

sqzee
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  Posted: 5 July 2009 09:10 am
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Yesterday was all in all ok. I had two times pie which I shouldn't. I also had some candy and when I got home I had some kind of frenzy with ricecakes and an apple and a little bit of chocolate and some diet coke. I think the sugar spurred it. I will have to keep track of these patterens and see if it is that. It might also be emotional. But I stopped myself in time I think, and hope.

No exercise though, didn't have time. There won't be any today either, I am going to visit my grandmother and grandfather. I want to only eat 2 pieces of ryebread with healthy topping, and then a reasonable portion of dinner. That would be more than perfect. But my grandparents are tradtional danish people, which does not always include healthy. I'm not having breakfast. I just woke up and we're leaving in an hour. Maybe some yoghurt.

Broken scale said 62,9. I can live with that, I was fearing worse. I just have to plow forward, 100g at a time like I used to. I set a goal on madital.dk for 60kg by 1. of august. I would be overjoyed. I am happy about this diet right now, I don't feel I messed up for once :wink:

And I really do want time for a run. I'll have to push it in tomorrow morning before 10. That means get up at 7:30 or something, get up, go, come back, have a shower, leave to meet my friend. 
sqzee
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  Posted: 5 July 2009 10:52 pm
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Again another ok day. Well its the same day but wtv. Had a bit more for lunch than I wanted to. Did not have the healthiest choice of dinner but controlled the portion and had strawberries with a type of cream.

But then I came home and had some yoghurt, 2 ricecakes and an apple. So that's like a 100-200 kcal snack-binge thing. I HOPE its not more.

I thought about the run. Won't happen tomorrow. I will have a light breakfast tomorrow, and then go to meet my friend and we will shop and go to Tivoli. So we kind of have to find a place to eat. Or I will opt for something unhealthy but then just not have proper lunch or dinner. We'll see. I am nervous for it, exp. because she eats like a pig but is as thin as a stick so I have no idea what she wants to eat and we don't know eachother that well.

sqzee
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  Posted: 6 July 2009 09:04 pm
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Bdr just kind of binged. With yoghurt, carrot, apple and ricecake.

But I had like 200cals for breakfast + some chocolate unhealthy stuff. Then ice cream. Then a chicken burger and what I now just ate. And I feel like eating more chocolate... Which means I probably will. But this 'binge' is prob. just hunger. Not that I feel hungry but I think my body wanted some more food. Its not like it was horrible.  

And I have been out walking around for 10 hours. My feet really hurt. That must have burned som cals. I am actually pretty happy with today so far. I must admit that I will be very dissapointed if the scale does not show under 63 when I get back to Dar.

My dude is annoying me. Even though it is totally unrelated.

Food for tomorrow should be in my hands. So that is a good start. Lets see what happens.

Just had some more candy. Bdr.
sqzee
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  Posted: 7 July 2009 06:50 pm
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A pretty good day so far. I am pretty content. I don't know what brought on this good streak but I am very happy with it.

I had 2 ricecakes and some topping for breakfast. I also had some candy. Lunch was just a roll. Actual lunch didn't fit into my plans. Then I had some more candy. And then some sugarfree candy. And an apple. Dinner will be chicken and salad. With some good calorielight dressing.

I wish I could see the progress on the scale. I hope I am not calculating anything wrong. Its telling me around 550cals so far for today. See thats not a lot is it? But I mean for the other days as well.

sqzee
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  Posted: 10 July 2009 11:27 pm
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Well now... My good streak is over. This is starting to be very annoying. I do good I do bad. I really need to know what I weigh. I have to see what damage/good I am doing...

Tomorrow I will shop for my birthday on sunday and cook... Sunday I will celebrate it... A recipe for disaster anyone?

This is making me so depressed. And it really shouldn't.

I am just so tired of being fat. Could the fat just please dissapear? This is not going anywhere... What is it I am missing? More selfdiciplin or a better enviornment or more planning or what?

 I should go to bed...
sqzee
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  Posted: 11 July 2009 07:57 am
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I am freaking sick.

AWWIE AWWWW! My throat is killing me, I am all snotty, my ears hurt, it hurts to swallow and BREATHE.

Not so perfect. I am so upset. I am celebrating my birthday tomorrow. It's not fair. Arrrrgh...

I haven't had anything to eat yet. Because I know it won't taste good. And it will hurt. I just know fruits and vegetables will hurt my throat a lot.
sqzee
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  Posted: 11 July 2009 11:17 pm
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Ok. I'm in a better mood now. I am still sick and I feel like I ate to much anyway but I calculated and it says 900cals. So I am guessing that the real number is like 1200 because I am bad at guessing how much things weigh.

I also went for a run. So that's ok I guess. But then there is the birthday celebration tomorrow. I have requested strawberries and some light cream that is very good. And then there is the tradtional danish lagkage. Which is a layered cake with whipped cream and some other cream things, and this is also with strawberries. And then we will bake rolls. The lagkage is not so bad caloriewise because of the cream being 0 cals, and then there is just the whipped cream and the cake layers. Strawberries are not so bad either. But I planned all this this way. Because I love bread, and I love bread and butter. And we will also be serving som small chocolates.

Am I a bit food-obsessed or what? Chocolate is also a big thing for me. But you only celebrate your birthday once a year right? And this is my sweet sixteen after all.

I am going to bed. Over and out.:apple:
sqzee
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  Posted: 12 July 2009 09:09 am
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So still haven't eaten anything yet. (aside from tasting the cream and strawberries, very good, both of them:smile:)

I am thinking if I hold out on breakfast I am less likely to eat too much. Its the only thing I have find that works effectively on saving the calories. If I just not eat breakfast and then an early lunch instead. This only works on a vacation of course, can't do it when I'm in school, unless I want to faint or have no concentration. Breakfast is good for the body I know, but as soon as I eat breakfast then the only thing I can think of is food (more so than I am already) But it is really wierd, morning is the only time where I don't feel that I could reeeeeeaaaaalllllly eat this or that (be it healthy or not) But I have to eat when I am hungry, or else I feel sick and we don't want that. :apple:
sqzee
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  Posted: 13 July 2009 11:35 am
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I think I need a calorie confession :)

I ate rolls and drank hot chocolate and had cake and small chocolates and nuts and raisens and strawberries with cream (cal-light though). But you also have to live a little. Even though at a point I really felt sick.

Anyway. I went for a run afterwards. Just 33min in total, but I also walked. I hope it made some kind of dent in the overconsumption but I doubt it was much.

This morning I had an apple and cake for breakfast. Really not much cake though, but it is oh sooo good.

Then I had some cracker with really good (and fattening) cheese left over from yesterday and tuna and pasta. And some hot chocolate, that is now cold. It is very good cold. And I also just had a small chocolate.

For some reason though I feel quite content and happy. I do fear for the scale though tomorrow. And for the food they will serve on the plane. Oh yeah, btw I am flying in 4 hours. Back to TZ. 12 hour journey or something.

So I will update again at some point when I get back. Over and out :apple:
sqzee
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  Posted: 14 July 2009 01:22 pm
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So I'm back. And I weighed myself on my real scale. 62,1. So nooot bad. That means I have lost ½-1kg in the 3 weeks we have been gone. That is a couple 100g per week. Which is not bad concidering. I am just overjoyed that I am near 61 something. Finally. Seems like I have been 62-63 forever (it has been forever, like more than a month) So if I do good the next couple of days, I should be seeing a 61.9 :smile:

So let us all hope for a drop tomorrow. I should have no problems the next couple of days because I will be home with my own food. But I also have no plans so I will be lingering around at home with aaalll the food. And I can't run! I ran to days in a row and the knee is hurting again, so I promised myself not to run for the next 4-5 days. And then to only run one day in a row.

So far I had a yoghurt on the plane, and some bread and cheese. Then I had an apple and some breadsticks. And 2 pieces of bread with topping. One more apple. A whole bag of cal-light candy (around 150cals in all) and 3 gummibears. And I think that is it. And its 3 o'clock. It had not been the healthiest or most diet-minded but I hope with a clever choice of dinner (and me keeping out of all other food succesfully) that it is ok. I'll go check out how many calories I am on now in a bit.

Mwah! Here's to not having gained :wink::martini::martini::martini:

 
sqzee
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  Posted: 15 July 2009 09:05 am
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Drumroll please...:

61,9kg!

Woohoo! I am so very pleased. It is seriously ages ago since I have been able to experience a good solid loss. So I will do what all dieters do and love, tell the whole world and celebrate :wink::tongue:!

Now see this is my lowest weight ever. I know that is stupid because when you loose it will always be lower but its a nice feeling :cool: I am also getting closer and closer to my ultimate goal. I am glad it's moving again.

I wish I could go for a run though. But I don't want to screw up my knee again. Definately not. But I guess it's good that I really feel like going. In 2-3 days I can.

Yesterday when I typed everything in it said around 1150cals. That's a lot if it's only 3 o'clock. So I decided on tomato soup for dinner. The soup was great but of course I had some bread with it. Later I also had a piece of dark chocolate, a breadstick and a very small banana. Oh and a diet cherry coke. So I think I was pretty succesfull.

Today I am a bit worried because I am going for a sleepover at a friends house. There may be some booze... and we all know how many cals are in that stuff. I don't know though, we might not want to anyway. And also the general thing about havíng to eat what is served and being tempted to eat junk because your friends are. But she does have a pool so we might swim a little.

All I've had so far is some pineapple for breakfast. Thank you TZ for the lovely pineapple :chewing: I don't know what I will more eat. I am going at 2, which is right at lunch time, so I could skip lunch all together and have a snack or lunch at my friends house, but I don't want to do that because I know I will be hungry, but I hope they have already had lunch because I hate to be tempted or watch them eat and everything. Maybe I can have the soup for lunch?

Another thing I have been meaning to post here is my plan to def. run 3 times a week. I might not be able to do that, but I certainly want to. I must have rest days in between as long as my knee hurts. So from the next time I run, I will give it a rest day and then run again. So about every other day. They don't have to be long runs. Just the 17min run then some walk then 12min back or something. Oh and I have a heart rate monitor now! My father gave me it for my birthday! WOOT, so I will def. use it! I hope I can keep it up. At least untill volleyball starts, because here I get no exercise whatsoever because I don't walk anywhere.

Ok that's it for now, even though it was a lot :grin::apple:
LTP
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  Posted: 16 July 2009 09:27 am
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Congratulations on your weight loss! Ah, it's been so long since I've really seen any loss on my scale. ):
But you commented in my diary, so I figured I'd return the favor. I look forward to seeing updates from a fellow (almost)16 year old! (:
sqzee
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  Posted: 17 July 2009 05:56 pm
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Well well, I have been gone for around 3 days now... See I went to mentioned friends house and actually stayed 2 nights instead of 1. We were 3 girls in a house alone for 3 days. I had a very very lovely time, but the eating was not at its best obv. and to add on top of that, the 2 bottles of wine and some Amarula that the 3 of us consumed (so divide by 3 please). But it was the best couple of days I have had in a long time I think. So cleansing, inspiring and uplifting.

And I wasn't all bad. We went running yesterday, and I did stomach exercises afterwards. I also swam a bit. And I skipped lunch yesterday as well. And the food wasn't that unhealthy, I just ate too much.

So for today I've had 3 pancakes, some cream, some sirup, some sugar, strawberries, banana, orange, one chocolate marshmallow thing, one small banana, a mix of carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, spring onions, and soy sauce. And one diet coke. And I've done stomach exercises. No, it has not been a good day foodwise, but tomorrow I will see on the scale and get back on track.

I am going running tomorrow as well, and doing stomach exercises. Maybe we can go swimming as well. I can't wait to try out my heartrate monitor, and it would be sticking to my plan of every other day.

sqzee
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  Posted: 18 July 2009 01:12 pm
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Running: :thumbsup:

Stomach toning: :thumbsup:

Weight: :down_arrow::up_arrow: (same)

Food I'm not sure sure about though. I woke up at 10:30 and didn't eat untill 2. And I ran in between. I was hungry, but one thing led to the other and I didn't eat until 2. Bad idea because it is now 3 and I have had:

200g of pineapple

75g of yoghurt

1 small piece of bread

7 cal-light gummibears

1 chocolate cookie

2 carrots

1 small piece of chocolate

So it's not like I'm doomed or anything, but it was def. a binge. A normal hunger binge that was unlucky. I am happy I went for a run though, and toned. Even though I hated the toning and I am not even sure if it will do any good. But hey, it's only been 3 days haha! Ahh yes, patience is a virtue.

Weight was the same. Possibly a tiny bit more because the scale was 61,9-62 rather than the solid 61,9. But I am not THAT obsessed. Tomorrow I hope and expect to see a drop. Assuming I do well for the rest of today of course. I might be going to some kind of reception. Hopefully I can control myself. And then I can come home and cook something good for dinner.

I am starting to feel slimmer which is nice. I am not embarrassed to be in my bikini. Not too much anyway :wink: I am evolving into something beautiful. My legs are so nice and tanned. Running works apparently :tongue: I am preparing to be an improved person in IB. Not just with the weight, but I want to be more organized. Less stressed. And in control of my life basically. I am no longer the girl who wanted to loose weight. I am the girl who did. I am no longer the girl who wishes she was fit, I am the girl who is fit. So this can be applied to many other aspects of my life as well. And I know this and what I have to do is be diciplined. Because I know it pays off, I see it very clearly with my weightloss. Work pays off. When you slack it shows.

sqzee
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  Posted: 19 July 2009 10:02 am
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Stomach Toning: (not yet)

Weight: :down_arrow::down_arrow::down_arrow:!!! 61,6kg

Yah so I'm down today:smile: But it was a pretty substantial drop from yesterday so if it goes up again tomorrow I shouldn't be upset. I am just so releived that I haven't gained. After posting yesterday I went to the goodbye party and there was dinner included so I had:

some casava chips

some beef

some chicken

2 slices of potato cooked in cream

some butternut (also in cream I think)

salad

salad with wild rice (and lots of it)

small piece of chocolate cake

small piece of tart

a little bit of ice cream

2 helpings of fruit

and a carrot when I got home at 12

and a diet coke

So now can you see why I am glad I did not gain? And actually lost 300g? But I guess the trick yesterday was the portions, and also the exercise. I am relieved though.

So far today I've had:

small banana

2-300g of pineapple

And its 10 to 12. I am going swimming in an hour, but it won't be exercise swimming, I'll just be in the water a bit. I plan to do my stomach exercises later, and then I can update, or I can update that tomorrow.

I don't know about lunch or dinner. I am home so I will cook, therefore it shouldn't be a problem. But I prob should go with my mother to buy groceries if anything is open. We have no pineapple, no tomatoes, no carrots and only 2 small bananas left.

So many people mentioned my weightloss yesterday, but it made me so self-concious. And it is so hard to explain the science of calories (though one should think it was quite simple) to people who also wish to loose weight.

Let's hope my classmates think I look just as good as my mother's collegues. I highly doubt it though:tongue::shock: That's why 55 here I come! But let's just get to 60 first eh?:wink:
sqzee
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  Posted: 20 July 2009 12:31 pm
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Running: :thumbsup:

Stomach toning::thumbsdown: (not done yet and didn't do yesterday)

Weight::down_arrow::down_arrow::down_arrow:!!! 61,3kg!

I am just writing quickly before my very fat, and annoying hopeless not really friend friend. I hate her really, but I can't seem not to be happy for her.

So good about running. 28min. Have eaten:

1 orange

3 tiny bananas

2 ricecakes

1 apple

small piece of chocolate

1 carrot

So a lot of fruit. And actually a lot of food. But its 2:30 so I think it's fine and I ran so. And the weight is down! So very happy about that. Almost can't believe it. I will definately celebrate! (not with food though :tongue::shock:)

Plans for food I don't know. I don't know about my friend. Sorry gotta go!
sqzee
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  Posted: 21 July 2009 04:09 pm
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Toning::thumbsdown: (I might do it later we'll see. It's really not much but argh...)

Weight: :down_arrow::up_arrow: 61,3kg

Running: tomorrow

Mwuah! So I haven't gained. And maybe I can actually lose a little more for tomorrow morning, weigh-in for the summer challenge! Yah! gogo Sara!

I am starting to feel more and more comfortable in my body. Though I am worried that 55kg might not be my goal weight. But that is something I really have to see when I get there. I am done moving my goals :tongue: And anyway, let's get to 60 first right?

I have done absolutely nothing today. I've been lying in bed, tanning on the balcony or listening to Jack Johnson here in front of my computer. I don't know how good that is for the metabolism but it's my summer break, so I can't care!

Food for today:

Müsli (40g, 140cals)

1 orange

1 apple

2 ricecakes

1 chocolate cookie

small handful of candy

2 big slices of pineapple (aprox. 200g)

1 carrot

1 diet coke

yoghurt

And my mother will be home soon and then we can make dinner. Haven't decided on what that should be yet... Maybe I'll just make a vegetable mix and she can have whatever. I think I've done ok on the food front so far. I have definately not been hungry so I haven't had to little, but the candy was not so good. The chocolate cookie on its own would have been ok, execpt its still kind of early and I am usually sugar/snack craving later so I like to save it... Aaw well, I'll just have the confidence right now to say that that doesn't matter :smile:
sqzee
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  Posted: 22 July 2009 09:24 am
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Runinng: Will do later (hopefully) I need the sun to start to set though, the heat kills me

Stomach toning: prob. after running, hope I make it through most of it

Weight: 61,2kg:down_arrow::down_arrow::down_arrow:!

So happy! I can't believe my weight is going down. Down down down!

Today I have just had pineapple. But I woke at 10 and it is now 11.

I really hope I do go running, because yesterday and today I was/am not feeling like it and today is my running day. But let us see, maybe motivation will grip me and I will be out the door. But not now in the heat of the day. I have no food plans really, and no plan plans really. I'm home all day. Doing nothing, maybe a bit of homework. I really want to get the homework of my concience.

60kg here I come! Now I feel close. Just 1,2kg to go. And then from there 5 more. And then we'll see what I look like.

School is in 2-3 weeks (ahh homework really needs to be done) and so a more structured day will start for me. Also more stressed. And no P.E. But then there is ISSEA volleyball, and I am banking on making the team. Which means exercise, and also the gym is open for all, and not ihabited by pumped IB2 guys. I am more confident in my fitness level, and also my right to work out if you can say it that way so I might be using the school gym. My friends want to use it as well so all in all it might be tolerable.

My BMI is now just under 24 at 23,9. When I am at 55 my BMI will be 21,5. So maybe I should just trust the numbers for now, 21,5 is just where anyone would want to be right? So that's what I am going for. But it is such a relief to be normal weight for now :wink:
sqzee
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  Posted: 22 July 2009 02:50 pm
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Motivation has not gripped me yet and I doubt that it will. The sun is also setting soon. I feel bad now because I will break my promise of going running today. It will mess up my schedule of running every other day. So should I go?

I think that has got to be no. I know exercise isn't always fun, and there is no use for slacking, but I just really don't want to go. And there are other times were I really do want to go. And I was working on my homework before I came to write here because I feel guilty about not running and not wanting to, and I need to justify not wanting to (and not going). Ugh. If I gain tomorrow I am sooo going to hate myself. And then there is the health factor and all that.

Ok... enough rant. I will not go and it is ok. I am not a slacker and I this is not me going off track. This is me on vacation :wink: And I am doing homework, I mean come on its not like I am completly slacking.

I think I'll have tomato soup for dinner. :yum:
sqzee
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Joined: 22 January 2009
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Posts: 392
  Posted: 25 July 2009 11:26 am
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Ola!

I've been gone for a bit, and its been a bad two days caloriewise. I've had pizza, candy, alcohol and junkfood! And what sucks is that I don't even like junkfood:sad: But what is is and now I can only look forward.

Weight::up_arrow: 61,4kg

Running: I hope to go today but I went yesterday so I'm not sure yet, but I did skip the other day so... I also need to figure out my heart rate monitor. And I should think about how I improve my running, as in what can I do to help myself get better, what type of program should I use? And what should I be eating maybe?

Stomach toning::thumbsdown: I almost haven't been doing it but I did try to compensate yesterday. Shall we see if I can get some done after my run today or tomorrow?

Food: I've started off today ok, but I woke at 10:30 so I've had a brunch kind of thing

60g of müsli

1 apple

1 ricecake

1 breadstick

some sugarfree candy

And we're invited out to eat tonight. At 5. I think there will be healthy food to chose so then it's just about the portions. Then there is the snacking before and after that I have to be aware of and not fall into.

Otherwise I will be working on my homework I think. If I can squeeze it in now in a bit. And we need to go groccerie shopping. We don't have much food in the house.

sqzee
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Joined: 22 January 2009
Location:  
Posts: 392
  Posted: 26 July 2009 04:54 pm
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Weight: :up_arrow::up_arrow::up_arrow:61,7!!! (all together now, let's say it, cooome on.......: FLUCTUATION)

At least this is what I am seriously seriously hoping, but alas, I have seen this pattern before (weight graph) and I should not be upset because as I said they must be, only logically could they be, fluctuations.

It is esp. weird because I have even been exercising a great deal. What gives?!

Ok, so I must not let the scale get me down. Just look forward and keep at it even though this is a slow process. For dinner I think just a plain old carrots and peanutbutter yum :yum: Best of both worlds! Or maybe not the peanut butter but instead an orange? I am really not feeling like making dinner but I want some good healthy stuff.


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