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Infinite Disguise in the City of Angels
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Terabyte
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 Posted: 19 June 2009 08:53 pm
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lol, i did say that!  that was a good one, i had forgotten I said that. 

well ths morning's weigh-in said 49.6 pounds of fat and i am not on freaking Day 29 of my cycle.  i really hope the blood hurries up and comes today!  SHEESH!!!!

had an interesting time at the buddhist group meeting last night, parts of it were cool but it became very clear that there was a lot of super-rigid rules and money involved and so i will not be revisiting.  I will just keep doing my #%@&! on my own like I've been doing and enjoying.  I have the Lotus Sutra to study and the Tibetan Book of the Dead to study. :)

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 20 June 2009 05:30 pm
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Have been keeping up the chanting and it feels good.  This morning I looked in the mirror, and the chick in the reflection looked like some anime version of me, like how I always wish I could look.  If I could high-five myself I would :)  

I have another date with the Ethan Hawke animator tomorrow night.  We are going to watch the Simpsons and play Silent Hill 5.  This feels great, like I am 17 or something, and I mean that in all seriousness.  I just need to buy some dustoff for the PS3, she is majorly clogged wth dust and starting to get fussy. 

Still no blood, and it is now Day 30!!!!  SHEESH!!!!  And I need a decoy engagement ring because the freakin' ice cream man always hits on me and its not like i will stop buying ice cream from him, so i need a new tactic.

 

 

Last edited on 20 June 2009 10:20 pm by Terabyte

mollymoo24
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 Posted: 20 June 2009 08:28 pm
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Hey, have a good time with Ethan Hawke, I'm happy you have such an interesting and attractive new guy.  Keep us posted. 

Last edited on 20 June 2009 08:29 pm by mollymoo24

Terabyte
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 Posted: 21 June 2009 06:47 pm
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read a lot of my buddhist books last night, it was great!  I am telling you, it is like I have discovered magic.  WOO HOO!!!! 

Scale said 50.4 pounds of fat this morning, but i am sure that it is because of the bleeding time which FINALLY started last night, thank god.  Now I will have to be superhopped up on ibuprofen all day. whew!!!!  but i am glad the blood finally came.  i was getting #%@&! tired of waiting for it.

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 22 June 2009 07:05 pm
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whew---major bleeding all day yesterday and last night! My friend Kristie calls it Crotch Fallout, that's what it feels like! 

Got to spend more time with the Ethan Hawke animator last night--he brought over silent hill 5 but it didn't work;my ps3 is having ISSUES.  I think it needs to be cleaned.

I also heard from the top advisor consort. He just send a sad face on a text.  I didn't reply.  I dont even know what that means, he's sad or he's acknowledging I am sad.  Sheesh!  It felt good to be sitting there on the couch with a new beautiful man when I got it though.  Ahhhhhh, it was sweet indeed, lol.

Today makes the week anniversary of when I started chanting and the day I met the Ethan Hawke animator.  It's been a pretty good week--I won't lie, there's been some super painful-a.ss moments, but overall I have felt pretty darn good.  Lots of new things happening but with a certain deja vu ish feel to it.  I like it!

And I dont know what it is either, but I swear to God I look like I did 10 years ago---super young in the face and everybody has been carding me for alcohol again and all these super-young dudes are hitting on me.  Weird!!!!  But cool!!!  I definitely don't mind looking 21.   I think it's affecting my brain though---I think that's where the deja vu is coming from.

because I really feel like I did 10 years ago.  Strange.

Terabyte
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 Posted: 22 June 2009 07:27 pm
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I also am doing a low-calorie day today.  I have already eaten a contained of cottage cheese and a sugar-free red bull.  That is 410 calories.  That means I only have 90 left for the rest of the day.   yikes!  My plan is to have a nectarine around 2:15pm and then that's it for the rest of the day!!!  Man, I hope to see some really small numbers on the scale tomorrow! 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 22 June 2009 09:09 pm
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#%@&! yes!  I have made it to 1:00pm.  Watching Fight Club. Ethan Hawke Animator has sent me a cute little text.

 

also heard from the blue-eyed jew.  he said he stopped by a few days ago but i wasn't home

my friend and teacher erin wants to try chanting with me.  I will try it. 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 22 June 2009 11:25 pm
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now it is 3:24pm, and i have eaten my nectarine.  It was #%@&! good. :cool:

Terabyte
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 12:59 am
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Yikes, 5:00pm and I am hungry, but I am holding out. I will make it tomorrow without eating anything.  wait, let me see, maybe I can have another red bull. 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 01:01 am
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OH YES!!!   I can indeed have another sugar-free red bull.   And I'm gonna!

 

mollymoo24
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 01:05 am
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You are gonna be wired.

Terabyte
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 02:13 am
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6:12pm, and i have drank another sugar-free red bull.  trying to distract myself with sexual activity. 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 02:39 am
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not wired so much but now i am in the mood.  so i am trying out a new guy.  :cool:

Terabyte
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 06:02 am
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holy moly that guy talked a lot!!!!!   sheeeeeesh

mollymoo24
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 04:45 pm
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LOL  I was just checking in from work and read that.  You need a spoot alert!

So, if they talk to much do they get invited back or no?

Terabyte
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 Posted: 23 June 2009 06:59 pm
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that guy won't get asked back, he just had a big motormouth about a bunch of pointless cr.ap.  He can't compare to the Ethan Hawke Animator.  :)

Well, this morning, the scale said I had 51.4 pounds of fat, which is MORE than I started off this Alternate Day Diet with (51 pounds of fat as of May24th) BUT I had major cramps and huge amounts of blood came out in the shower this morning, so I think I am still pretty full of gunk.  I feel thinner and look thinner, so we will see what the scale says once I am all cleaned out.  whew!

My PS3 is being super cra.ppy still!  I might have to buy another one.

I did my chanting this morning, and it felt good.

:)

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 25 June 2009 03:48 pm
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okay, now the scale said 50.2 pounds of body fat.  i have been doing the alternate day diet now for 31 days and supposedly i have lost .8 pounds of fat. however, my cycle keeps going and going--it was day 5 yesterday and i was still bleeding like a madwoman. 

i am going to incorporate some strength stuff in order to help out. 

the ethan hawke animator is so great. i have been seeing him now for a week and a half.  he is so wonderful!!!!   that is the same amount of time i have been doing my chanting/buddhist stuff. plus, my money keeps mating and multiplying.  this is amazing.  i do not want to wake up

Terabyte
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 Posted: 28 June 2009 11:38 pm
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okay, scale said 49.5 pounds of fat yesterday.  It was an up day yesterday, so it is a down day today. I am really trying hard to stick to my eating schedule.   My plan is to have a banana at about 6:00pm, and then I am done for the rest of the day. I have done some good toning exercises the past few days with my larger muscle groups.  I plan to keep this up on a daily basis.  I think this will really help me re-compose my body and replace more fat with muscle. 

I have been on call and the ethan hawke animator has been visiting his parents in SF. I miss him. It is nice to miss somebody.  He kept in contact with me the whole time he was gone though, which was really cool.  What a guy! But actually, in thinking more about it, he also looks like Ed Norton.  He looks like what a kid between Ed Norton and Ethan Hawke would look like.  :) 

I have been doing the Buddhist chanting now for about 13 days.  So far, it has been bringing me all sorts of greatness.  I am continuing to read the Lotus Sutra and the Buddha in Your Mirror and I really like it!  

In looking at my numbers, the lowest amount of fat weight I have hit since I started the Alternate Day Diet (and been faithful about it) has been 48.5.   My next big goal is to break past that.  I want to weigh no more than 48.5 by next Saturday, so I am hoping that very soon after next Saturday, I will break past 48.5 pounds of body fat.  I am hoping my toning will make this happen!!!

I also bought a jump rope to do that for at least a little bit daily to help out with the body recomposition.  :)

I will probably be back on here soon, as I am really working hard to combat my desire to eat!!!   I want a good reading on the scale tomorrow!!!

Terabyte
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 Posted: 29 June 2009 02:18 am
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just finished watching Cecil B Demented and did some ab toning exercises.  I like calling it toning, I am going to call it that instead of strength training.  I have done whole body toning today, and it feels pretty good.  I ate that banana around 6:00pm and I am DONE for the rest of the day.

Got a call from on-call; one of the boys in my coworker's home got busted by the cops at the park defacing a park bench and now he is angry and saying he wants to leave the foster home.   Hopefully I can get him to calm down; the foster mom called me from the car all upset, she said the boy (14 years old) is angry but at least a calm angry not a raging angry, so I told her to call me when she gets home, because I knew the kid was going to get real mad listening to her talk to me, explaining how naughty he was being, it was likely to make him more mad.  

I am glad this little thing surfaced, because it will take my mind off eating!  SHEESH!!! 

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 29 June 2009 04:02 am
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okay well the kid calmed down now he is just muttering and packing up his stuff.  So good!

Now the Simpsons are coming on.  Yay!

And I get to see the ed norton animator tomorrow.   ed norton is cooler than ethan hawke, so that is what i am referring to him as from nowon.

he is the all-singing all dancing #%@&! of the world!

Terabyte
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 Posted: 29 June 2009 02:26 pm
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that is all singing all dancing cr.ap of the world for those of you who dont know....

 

well i was successful last night in not eating anything else. YAY!!!!

This morning the scale said 49.5 pounds of body fat, same as two days ago.  Glad to see it's not going up, but next weigh-in I want to see some lower numbers!!!!

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 29 June 2009 06:09 pm
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I am at work and it is 10:00am, and I have been rampaging through work and I feel great!  It is an up day so I have been munching on Pringles.  The Ed Norton animator guy texted me early in the morning to tell me he'd gotten home, and it was like

awwwwwwwwwwww

 

heart flutter melty.  love it!

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 29 June 2009 11:10 pm
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awww, yeah, I have a printed picture of the Ed Norton animator up on the wall and I wrote on it in red pen

"you are not your job

you are not your bank account

you are not your grande latte

This is your life.

And you are losing it one minute at a time."

Beautiful.  I have it set up on my phone as the wallpaper too and it looks really cool--black and white with the red pen. 

Sweet!

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 30 June 2009 05:09 am
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Now I am home and showered and feeling pretty good.  My stomach is full, full, full!!!! Oh man, I nearly forgot, I started taking those colon cleanse pills again!  I need to take mine right now.   It will feel great to get some of this stuff cleaned out.

Terabyte
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 Posted: 30 June 2009 10:11 pm
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I love this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zP1IjgSO_E

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 1 July 2009 03:19 pm
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50.6 pounds of fat according to the scale this morning--but I will still not be disourged! I already did some push-ups this morning AND my jump rope came yesterday, so I will be doing that on a daily basis too.  I still think I have a good chance to reach my goal of 48.5 pounds of body fat by Sunday. :)

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 1 July 2009 11:55 pm
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what kind of cleanse are you doing?

Terabyte
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 Posted: 3 July 2009 03:16 am
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colon cleanse.

 

sheesh, i have a headache!!!

 

 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 5 July 2009 10:20 pm
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How is the cleanse going?

and I was wondering how you found out how many pounds of fat you have, do you have a special scale?

Terabyte
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 Posted: 6 July 2009 07:02 am
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girl that new picture is cute as sh.it!   i love it!

and yes i have a special scale that measures body fat.  it was about $60.00.

 

and may i just say, i really really really like this animator guy.   i mean i think i am really falling for him and i know he really likes me too.  he is just wonderful, i feel so happy whenever i think about him, he is so great!  honestly i could not have hand-picked a cooler guy--he is handsome and nerdy and sweet and silly.   I LOVE HIM

:smile::tongue::tongue::smile::smile::yum:

 

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 6 July 2009 02:12 pm
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body fat at 50.4 pounds.  I am still not willing to give up on the alternate day diet.  .6 pounds of fat in six weeks is not the greatest, but at least it IS a loss, and I am still hoping that my toning and my cleanse will help out.

Body fat goal for this week is to be at or below 49.4 pounds of body fat by Saturday 

mollymoo24
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 Posted: 6 July 2009 02:24 pm
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I am really happy to hear how happy you are with your new man.  You made room in your heart and someone truly special came in to fill it. 

I wonder how the scale knows what is fat and what is muscle.?

 

 

Terabyte
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 Posted: 6 July 2009 04:50 pm
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The scale sends out electromagnetic energy or something like that and that's how it knows (en serio)

Terabyte
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 Posted: 6 July 2009 04:54 pm
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http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10264538&sourceid=1500000000000003260370&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=10264538

 

there's a really cheap one from wal-mart.com

 

or, if you don't like to support wal-mart (because I kinda don't)

 

here is one on amazon for not much more: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FJQ48I/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1/176-3291903-4475416?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_r=1GGQ4WG39324A29W1E5X&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=304485901&pf_rd_i=B000FJQ48I

Terabyte
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 Posted: 9 July 2009 03:57 pm
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fat weight at 50.5 today.  was hoping for less but oh well!!! I have been doing my toning and I my muscles are all that good kind of sore. I like it!  I am also starting tosee new definition in my arms and back. 

Going to the midnight showing of Bruno tonight with the Ethan Norton animator.  after a big fatass long day at work.   glad it's an up day food wise because i plan to pig the f.ck out!!!

Terabyte
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 Posted: 11 July 2009 04:23 am
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I am doing a down day today, and I am seriously craving taco bell, lol, but I know I will make it without giving in.  I am happy that I have been able to stick to this diet for almost 1.5 months now.  Today, I also noticed that my stomach was looking really, really, really nice, good and flat.   My butt is also looking firmer, which is great.  I have been doing toning every day, and I think I am finally seeing some results after about two weeks of it.   The Ed Norton animator has a pull-up bar at his house and I have been trying to work up to doing an actual pull-up.  It feels good to have my muscles be sore


:cool:

 

We went and saw Bruno last night and midnight and it was great, really funny.  Sascha Cohen is hilarious AND gorgeous. 

And I will say it again--I am SO INTO the Ed Norton animator---sometimes I look at him and I can't believe how happy I am with him, he's so handsome and well built and he has good sexy skills too.    I really hit the jackpot with this one, seriously!  WOW:cool::cool::cool:

Terabyte
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 Posted: 11 July 2009 04:24 am
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and i don't mean to say it is mostly his looks or his lovemaking skills---he is also really sweet, just one of those really kind sweet thoughtful guys.  the foot rubbing kind, the kind that remembers if you say you like a certain movie or book or song and then gets it for you---just a class act all the way

Terabyte
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 Posted: 11 July 2009 03:31 pm
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Scale this morning said 50.4 pounds of body fat, which is really no change since last week,but visually I can notice  difference (for the better).  So I don't know if my scale is just not as accurate as it was 2 years ago when I bought it, if I am getting body dysmorphic disorder and thinking I am hotter than I actually am, or if I reallyhave lost more fat and the scale is being thrown off by the fact that I am once again pretty far into my cycle t Day 22 and water retention/a full uterus is throwing it off.  Either way, I am thankful for my firmer butt/thighs and flatter stomach even though the scale says I haven't budged.   Go figure!!!!

 

 

zenobia
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 Posted: 18 July 2009 07:47 am
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hey how's it going?  where've ya been??  i miss you!

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 20 July 2009 05:00 pm
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I was seriously contemplating having my body fat measured when I join my new gym.  Do you know off hand what the ideal range is for women? 

I'm drooling over your posts about your animator, he sounds really dreamy :)

mollymoo24
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 Posted: 22 July 2009 04:09 am
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Hey Terabyte, unlike you to disappear for so long...hope all is well. 

Nancy_in_GA
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 Posted: 30 July 2009 04:17 pm
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Straylight, I miss reading your diary.  Where are you?  Get on here and start typing.:grin:

cportwine
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 Posted: 30 July 2009 04:35 pm
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Yea, me too...get your butt on here.....lol

Terabyte
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 Posted: 11 August 2009 03:13 pm
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I am back--nothing REALLY bad happened.  Except that the animator lost his job so he's been really sad lately, I feel so bad for him, but I can't do anything about it.  AND unfortunately, I have put on about 10 pounds.   So, nothing really bad, but not good either.   My birthday is on 9/21, and I want this extra weight gone!!!

So, once again, like the drug addicts, I am taking it one day at a time.  I have a new plan for the day--when I wake up, I do 6 minutes of yoga and weights to kind of warm up, boot up, and also start the day with moving my body.  Then, at least for today, I want to eat everything healthy, or at least the healthiest version out there.  So like, for example, if I want chips, they need to be baked.  If I want something from McDonald's, it has to be nothing fried, like a snack wrap or something.  If I want something sweet, it has to be something really low calorie.   That is what I am going for.   I want no more than 1800 calories today.  

I confess: I weigh 157.6 pounds.   That is heavier than when I started this #%@&! diary back in September of last year.   NOT COOL!!!!   I need to find something that works and stick to it.   I think keeping this diary helps a lot.

So far today, I had 28 almonds in the morning, that is 170 calories.   I have 1630 left.   I am sure I will get a sugar-free Red Bull n the way to work this morning, so that means I really have 1620 left.  I know I can do it!   JESUS LET ME GET THROUGH ONE DAY LOL

 

 

my clothes are tight and UGH!   I hate it!   I can't wait to get this extra weight off me.

 

I will also be tracking how I feel with this new plan. 

So far, I feel disgusted with myself and hopeful at the same time.

I already did my morning warm-up routine, and that felt pretty good.

 

cportwine
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 Posted: 11 August 2009 05:18 pm
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You know what I weigh more then when I started my diary also. So, don't beat yourself up and get back to it. That's what I am trying to do... Just watch what I eat and hope for the best...

Glad your back...I missed you...

Terabyte
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 Posted: 11 August 2009 07:31 pm
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Thank you, Cindy, I appreciate that!  Anyway, I am dreaming big here, and my ultimate goal is to weigh somewhere around 115 (110 - 120).  That is what the BMI says is cool for my height (which is just under 5'3").  That is a big goal, but I think that is what I really want to go for.  That's my long term goal, that means losing somewhere around 40 pounds.  I think that is probably doable in about 40 weeks, if I lose a pound a week.  40 weeks would put me at--let me check my calendar--okay May 18th, 2010.  That is the big picture. 

As for the tiny picture as of today, my goal is to keep it no more than 1800 calories for the day, and get in some good exercise.  So far, I have done pretty well.  I have consumed:

-a sugar free Red Bull: 10 calories

-bag of Ruffles potato chips: 300 calories (this was in 2 sittings, so I was proud of myself for that)

-28 almonds: 170 calories.

 

So, I have eaten 480 calories so far, and it is 11:26am.  That is pretty good!  I have been eating a small amount of calories approximately every 2 hours.  I am hoping this will also make my stomach (like the actual organ) shrink so that I will get full faster.  I am trying to eat everything slowly, like they recommend. 

 

At 12:51 I am planning to have a bowl of ravioli which will probably be my biggest meal of the day, at 480 calories.  That should hold me over for a while.  We shall see. 

 

As for exercise, I did my 6 minute warm-up in the morning, did some stretching in line for court this morning (one of my kids got busted for marijuana OOPS), and I have been doing stair exercises at work, not much, but making sure I take the stairs 2 at a time whenever I have to use the stairs.  And I have been parking far from wherever it is I have to be so that I am forced to walk.  So far, I have walked about 1.25 miles.  We'll see what the total is at the end of the day.

As for my mood, I am still feeling disgusted and hopeful, a little less disgusted and a little more hopeful.  I think I will feel much better if I can step on the scale tomorrow and see a drop, any drop, in weight or fat weight. 

I am also on Day 25 of my cycle, so I am sure some of this is bloat, but I know for d.amn sure that not ALL of it is bloat, and I need to be real with myself if I want to get results.

 

50lbs2lose
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 Posted: 11 August 2009 09:05 pm
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Hi straylight it's nice to have you back!
Have you ever considered calorie cycling?I'm doing that right now and it seems to work nicely into my scedual. I feel and look much better than a long time!
Let me know if you are interested in me explainng it to you.
Have a nice day.

Terabyte
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 Posted: 12 August 2009 02:26 am
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Okay, well, I am done with my food for the day, and this is what I had for the rest of the day:

Ravioli: 380 calories

Mini chips ahoy cookies: 290 calories

Mexican pizza: 530 calories

Taco: 170 calories

 

This brings me to a grand total of 1850 calories, which is 50 more than my goal, but I think I am still okay. 

As for exercise, most of my day was spent writing or on the phone, but I did get a bit more walking in, another .5 miles. 

 

Terabyte
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Joined: 18 November 2008
Location:  
Posts: 886
 Posted: 12 August 2009 02:28 am
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50lbs: I am presuming that means eating a lot then eating less--but please do explain calorie cycling to me, sounds interesting.

 

50lbs2lose
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Joined: 24 July 2008
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Posts: 383
 Posted: 12 August 2009 02:51 am
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Well realy it's eating your 1800 calories a day by the week. You add 1800 times 7which equals 12,600 for the week. Divide this up in a zig zaggy way so that you have 400 calorie difference between each day with a high day every third day. Make sense?
I'll give you my week as an example. I eat 1900 a day which equals 13,300.
Sun-1900
Mon-1500
Tues-2200
Wed-1700
Thurs-2000
Fri-2500 (we have a large meal Friday nights with dessert and all. I like to join in on that night so this is my biggest day)
Sat -1500 ( a recoup day)
So realy I only have two low days and they're not too bad.
I need to weigh tommarow so I'll let you know how I'm doing.
I feel slimmer and my face is thinner.


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