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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 15 June 2009 12:12 pm |
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Weigh in this morning was 165.75lb. That is actually good, as over my period, even with counting cals, I fluctuated all the way upto 168.
Kind of feeling like I want to try moderate eating instead of obssesive calorie counting. It has worked for me before, just letting go and trying to eat normally. My problem is, I'm either dieting or binging. Really. It's either obssesively thinking about every calorie, or, well, actually, obssesively thinking about every calorie, but trying to ram as many in as possible before i deprive myself.
For this week, I will try an experiement: I will set some broad outlines that I should follow, try not to count calories, and see how my weight fares. If I don't lose a single pound, I'll go back to counting calories. Otherwise, I will continue.
My guidelines are:
Do not eat unless hungry.
Try to make generally healthy but satisfying choices.
Do some exercise every day - even if it's only walking.
I will see how it goes. I have to try and stop my mind obsessing over food constantly.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 15 June 2009 12:12 pm |
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Weigh in this morning was 165.75lb. That is actually good, as over my period, even with counting cals, I fluctuated all the way upto 168.
Kind of feeling like I want to try moderate eating instead of obssesive calorie counting. It has worked for me before, just letting go and trying to eat normally. My problem is, I'm either dieting or binging. Really. It's either obssesively thinking about every calorie, or, well, actually, obssesively thinking about every calorie, but trying to ram as many in as possible before i deprive myself.
For this week, I will try an experiement: I will set some broad outlines that I should follow, try not to count calories, and see how my weight fares. If I don't lose a single pound, I'll go back to counting calories. Otherwise, I will continue.
My guidelines are:
Do not eat unless hungry.
Try to make generally healthy but satisfying choices.
Do some exercise every day - even if it's only walking.
I will see how it goes. I have to try and stop my mind obsessing over food constantly.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 29 October 2009 02:51 pm |
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So...back again!
Mmmmm, since June when I last posted, I have been...EATING!!! That's right. I'm upto 178lbs. Haven't been that big for a long while.
The problem is, I had a few changes on in life. I am unemployed, and finding it really hard to find a job. Even really cra*&y ones have hundreds of people applying.
I was kind of getting to the point where getting out of bed was hard, and even the idea of the supermarket was freaking me out. I've been depressed before, and now I know the signs, I try to avoid it. Went to the supermarket yesterday, and felt like I'd really achieved something. Which is pretty lame.
It's hard to get motivated, but I'm trying to infuse myself with motivation, but I'm trying to fake it.
So, I have this book - "Skinny Chicks Don't Eat Salad." It seems ok. It is cutting out about 500 calories a day, but it's also about always balancing meals - always having a protein with a carb. This morning I had two rashers of bacon, low fat soft cheese, a multi-grain bagel and tomato (plus a cup of decaff coffee):
calories 450
carbs 48g
protein 29g
Yikes. Not really kept a good tally there. Must write stuff down better. Anyway, the book recommends around 400 calories for a meal, but I think this is a good start. I'm meant to eat every three hours, and eat four meals.
One of my meals is definitely going to be lower in calories though.
Here's the meal plan for the day:
Bacon bagel 450 cals
Chicken wrap 400 cals
greek yog with fruit 200 cals
spaghetti with turkey sauce 500 cals
That's a total of 1550, which as a calorie count is fine, but totally doesn't match what the book says. Arghhhhhh. I guess this is one of the reasons it took so long to get my #%@&! in gear and start - the numbers confuddle me!
Ok, so for today, I will have the numbers all mixed up, but get a good mix of healthy carbs (they are all brown) and protein.
I'll report back with the actual tallies. Must plan tomorrow better.
I also have alli diet pills to give the whole thing a boost. I'll let you know if they work.
I would like to lose 3lbs this week, as it's the first week. I will be walking briskly for about an hour later today.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 30 October 2009 11:26 pm |
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176.5lb this morning. that's good - a pound and a half of water weight gone since yesterday. that's pretty good, especially given that yesterday started really well, then descended into cookie/potato chip eating mayhem. similar today - breakfast was healthy, lunch was huge, calories are on track at about 1600 (will stop for the day now) but am not being strict enough with carbs/protein ratios and eating every four hours and that kind of thing. Oh well. it's kind of hard to have a life (was socialising) and compose perfect meals. I guess the way forward is probably to count calories, spread out meals, eat quite often, and try and eat protein and carbs together.
also, drink water. helped loads with water retention yesterday.
although i weighed in today, i will try and refrain from doing so until after the weekend.
bought green tea supplements. also nettle tea - supposed to help your insides.
today was good in terms of being realistic - i went for a big restaurant meal (about 850 cals) but ate a solid balanced breakfast, and didn't eat loads of pringles and chocolate cause I had a burger.
a deficit is good enough. every time i have aimed for perfection, i have failed, so i will aim to have a deficit, and hit the small goals i outlined.
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desperategirl
New Member
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Posted: 31 October 2009 01:49 pm |
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176.5 again this morning. I wasn't going to weigh in, but couldn't help it. Now I really won't weigh in again until Monday, and from then on do weigh ins then. I don't know why, but it just feels like the right day to do it!
Good start this morning, with a bagel (wholemeal), half a litre of water and one alli pill.
My problem at the moment, and the reason I am quite happy with myself despite not doing great is that I have a friend staying over from abroad, and it's a friend with whom I EAT. That's what we do - EAT EAT EAT. Pizza, chocloate, crisps, sweets, everything just for the sake of it. So that's why I had a big lunch yesterday, but kept breakfast and everything else down - to kind of fit in with the socialising, but not put on any more pounds. Also, I did small stuff like get water instead of pepsi, and tea instead of a delicious creamy hot chocolate. Before, I would just think that I might as well go all out, but I will try and be moderate. I can't be perfect for the rest of my life, and I don't want to yo-yo, so must find a middle ground.
Having said that, I do want to shift the first 15 pounds as quick as healthily possible, as I feel HUGE. Also, I will be more strict when I'm not entertaining. Today will be an ok day.
Yesterday, I had to turn down chocolate and noodles. I wasn't hungry, and was getting slightly irritated that I had to really push to not buy noodles. I mean, we both need to lose a little weight, but this friend makes me feel bad when she is over, and I want to eat a bit healthier, like I'm imposing a starvation diet her cause I'm rude. But really, we ate a massive meal, I'm not being rude to not eatwhile I'm still stuffed, am I?
And it's hard to resist.
But I must.
I am rambling. Other news is: I decided (again) that even if my weight isn't low enough, I will still look better if I take care of my appearance. My skin is horrid at the moment, so I bought a couple of new products I'm using, and I have to wax my moustache (ha ha ha - it's not a full on tom selleck, but you know what I mean).Last edited on 31 October 2009 01:51 pm by desperategirl
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desperategirl
New Member
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Posted: 2 November 2009 11:48 am |
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So, despite my best laid plans, I went to the supermarket with the friend, and I kept saying I didn't want all this stuff, and she just insisted, and talked like I hadn't said anything, and bought all these muffins and stuff. I ended up just sort of going along with it, because it was easier. I ate stuff I didn't even particularly want. Then yesterday, again, I just sort of ate, I guess I had my old mentality of "I'll start on Monday," (today). Anyway, I ate like a hog, but when I weighed in this morning, I was down 1/4 of a pound, to 176.25. Pretty happy about that. I will be a little better today, and hopefully register another teeny loss tomorrow. But then I must stop looking at the scale. It can make or break my day.
Started of today with a delicious (ha ha) cup of nettle tea. Apparently it's cleansing my insides. It's recommended by the book I was reading.
Nothing else to report, except for that I can't help but constantly notice this extra fat. It's drowning my frame.
It's a new week, and I feel really optimistic my diet falling into place!
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desperategirl
New Member
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Posted: 3 November 2009 01:41 pm |
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Yesterday was quite a good day in terms of eating.
I had an awful moment of realisation though. I went to try on a bra, and there was a three way mirror. I caught sight of my back, and saw FOLDS of FAT. Yeurchhh. It was a real moment of awakening for me.
A few weeks ago, I spent all my time talking about how I was going to start being more healthy, all the while stuffing my face with pretty much every bit of unhealthy cr.ap I could find. Sometimes, I didn't even particularly want something in, like, "quick, eat it while no-one's watching, before I start to diet." How sad.
Anyway, so, a few weeks ago, I was around 160, and didn't doa nything about it, and here I am now in the late 170s, with an extra 15 pounds to lose. Sigh. Where did my motivation go?
Anyway, I woke up this morning, a quarter of a pound heavier than yesterday, but that's just a freak thing - I had a deficit yesterday.
I just worry - what if it's impossible for this body to lose weight? In theory, I know all the rules, but do I have the motivation and patience?
I will scour this website for inspiration. And remember the feeling of seeing that extra flesh on my back.
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desperategirl
New Member
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Posted: 3 November 2009 09:22 pm |
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Just had dinner. Today I had bacon bagel (500), greek yoghurt 0% fat with mandarin (175), a few sweets (75), cup of tea (30), tasted jambalaya while cooking it (a lot -200),
small chicken breast (100) stuffed with low fat cream cheese (50) flavoured with roasted pepper sauce (50), stuffed mushroom (160) and one courgette (50). That's a total of 1390 at the moment. I don't think I'll have much more tonight.
Guidelines I'm going to try and follow are:
Keep eating a good sized breakfast (500) with a good mix of protein and carbs and a vegetable.
Only 1 cup of coffee a day.
2 litres of water.
Only two servings of starchy (unrefined) carbs a day.
Dinner to be a protein with a vegetable.
That's enough to be worrying about at the moment, I think. Oh, one last thing - no more than 1600 calories a day.
It's weird not having a large carbohydrate component to a meal - you get a weird saiety but you're not properly full.
Hoping to have dropped that quarter of a pound I put on!
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desperategirl
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Posted: 4 November 2009 11:46 am |
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Weigh in this morning was 175.5. Can't wait to be out of the 170s!
I am currently unemployed, and looking for work. This gives me a lot of time to mope...but more recently it's given me a lot of time to go to the supermarket/plan meals/cook etc. In fact, I am trying to look at it like a blessing in disguise - by the time I get a job, I will have figured out great recipes, what works, what fills me up etc.
I found new bread yesterday - Food Doctor, which has huge slices, 101 cals per slice, over 5g protein per slice, and 4g fibre per slice. Sweet! I think I have exhausted my bacon/low fat cream cheese/tomato thing though. I find breakfast the hardest meal to organize. The bacon sandwich thing is a perfect mix of carbs, protein, fibre, it's low fat etc. Also, being the greedy guts I am, I like to know I have something tasty and filling in the morning - I just get too depressed if I have to shove down something gross. I will experiement with various egg options, but I'm not a big fan. It's quite hard to incorporate protein into breakfast.
I have approached this diet slightly differently - trying to make really delicious meals that I would enjoy even if I weren't dieting. Would enjoy, but don't, cause I'm too busy stuffing my face with junk.
I really can't wait til I'm out of the 170s. I think it might come off relatively quickly because it went on so quick, and is hopefully mostly water retention and bloat etc. I'm hoping that having just one portion of bread a day will help, I know a friend who finds that more bread definitely makes her expand.
Today I will walk for at least an hour - the best I can do without a gym! I am going to make chicken curry for lunch - maybe with couscous, as one serving is only 80 calories! Then...back to the grindstone of cvs.
Calories so far:
Bread 202
Bacon 101
Low fat cheese 50
Tomato 30
Coffee 30
Total 413
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desperategirl
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Posted: 4 November 2009 02:48 pm |
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so freakin hungry today.
had breakfast (late) not long before midday, by half one I was hungry. I just ate a protein bar (239) and am still quite peckish. I keep thinking that maybe this is slightly empty feeling - not full, not really hungry is the way you're meant to feel? Like, I always STUFFED myslef to near nausea proportions before, so maybe that's why not being stuffed feels so alien. I always feel like I'm teetering on the brink of being hungry.
Total calories so far today are 652.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 4 November 2009 06:10 pm |
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I am really overusing this place today, but it's a great sanctuary away from my cravings. For a late lunch, I had a small chicken breast (120), with pre-prepared curry (130) and some cous-cous (150). That makes a total of 400 for that meal, and 1052 for the day. Oh, and a cup of coffee (broken my one cup rule) at 30 for a total of 1082. Done about an hour's walking.
I still feel reallllllllly hungry though. I had a couple of bits of sweets yesterday - well, a lollipop, but on the whole, I haven't had much sugar. Today, I have only had veg, no fruit, and there wasn't any added sugar in my protein bar, so I think my ravaged body is screaming out for sugar. I could bury myself in chocolate. Mmmm banoffee pie.
I will not give in - I have this feeling that if I can conquer the massive sugar addiction somewhat, I will find it a lot easier to control my eating.
Not sure what I'll have tonight - I have a few healthy bits in the fridge to think about.
Still feel sodding hungry though.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 5 November 2009 01:13 pm |
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Today's weigh in was 173.5lb. That's quite a drop, and may well be dehydration, as I had a wee bit of a night last night.
In terms of my eating, I had a chorizo sandwich - I just wanted something really delicious, even if it did involve eating bread at night (only 1 slice). The chorizo was 273 and the bread was 101. I had a spoon of light mayo, which was 20. That's 394 for a small but delicious meal. Total calories for yesterday: 1476.
I do think I might be up again by tomorrow, but it's nice to see the numbers drop anyway. It feels quite alien to be at this weight, and I can really feel and see all the changes, the extra rolls of flesh. When I lean over to tie a shoelace I really feel my belly (I'm an apple shape).
I'm going to have some soup now with toast.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 6 November 2009 01:06 pm |
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Weighed in at 174 this morning. That is 0.5lb up from yesterday, but I'm happy, cause I know yesterday's was low because of dehydration.
My heaviest weight was 178, so I'm four pounds down. That's pretty good - it's all water retention etc, but it's good to see those numbers go down.
So yesterday, I had soup and toast (450) followed by coffee and an apple (100) two sugar free lollies (50) followed by more soup (I'm going through a delicious phase - 100) a cream cheese (low fat) sandwich (325) and a stuffed mushroom (130). I also tried bit's of my boyf's dinner while cooking it (200). That's a total of 1355.
I have been slacking on the protein here. I genuinely felt very satisfied eating more carbs though. Probably not great for my apple shaped tum.
I might have a tuna sandwich - cram in some protein - with my soup.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 6 November 2009 11:04 pm |
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Finished eating for the day. I had soup (230) and a small can of tuna (63) and salad (40) for my first meal, then a bowl of porridge (270) with sugar/sweetener (30) and a cup of coffee (30). For dinner, I went unhealthy and had a bacon sandwich with WHITE bread (actually wasn't as delicious as I thought!) and some low fat margerine (400) and a cup of coffee (30). That's a total of 1093.
Tomorrow will be a higher day. I must also revert back to some of my rules, which have lapsed in the pursuit of calorie counting.
Done ZERO exercise today.
Didn't have bad hunger pangs today. I just had the sugar/sweetener mix (aside from the hidden sugar that was probably in the white bread and soup) and it's getting easier to manage my eating - maybe there's a link?
I will weigh in tomorrow, but I will start to try and cut down the weigh ins to once or twice a week after this first week.
I will have a day off this week - not crazy, just eating bigger meals of the same thing (NO refined sugar) just to boost my metabolism after all these deficits.
Oh man, I have so much respect for the people who have stuck to this for months, even years. This week has felt like an age.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 7 November 2009 02:09 pm |
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weigh in this morning was 173.75 - which i'm happy with - almost down to my low of 173.5 - and i was only that low cause of dehydration.
am going for a late lunch today, so will keep cals until then conservative. just having a mix of 0% fat greek yoghurt (75) a can of mandarin segments (100) agarve nectar (25) some porridge oats sprinkled in (65) and coffee (30). That's 300 so far.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 7 November 2009 10:57 pm |
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I have to stop weighing myself. I weighed in at 172.5 before - a new low. But just weighed in again now (not sure why) - at 177.5. Yikes! Only 0.5 less than when I started. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Hopefully water weight that will disappear by tomorrow.
So, I went out and had lunch at Nandos - a chicken pita - 335 and a small ratatouille - 150. Not very satisfying, but the ratatouille was tasty. Then I did a stupid thing, and had a latte FULL FAT (small) at Starbucks (200).
I had dinner later - a small portion of chicken (110) a bowl of soup (165) and an apple (60). Oh, also a cup of decaf (30).
That's a total of 1355 for the whole day. I did plan to go lower, as tomorrow, with it being day 7, I am going to go for a higher calorie count - maybe 2000, or maybe I won't keep a really strict count. The only proviso is no added refined sugar in anything.
Urghhh...just looked at another website which says the Nandos thing was 500 calories. No way! It was small, dry, tasteless, definitely no more than 120g of chicken...I'm going to stick with 335.
I am really p.issed off with myself for drinking the stupid latte. I didn't even get an eggnog or toffee nut one or something really special that would have accounted for all those calories. What a moron. Such a waste of 200 calories - I could have just had a tea, and a lower count for the day. I didn't even enjoy it that much. Pah. All in all, not a great day, choices wise.
It is really hard to find a tasty low calorie healthy place to eat in London. The search goes on.
Oh, and this is blatently TMI, but I just went to the bathroom, and weighed in at 176.5. NO MORE WEIGH INS TODAY. Hopefully tomorrow, I will be back around the 173 mark.
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soontobeme
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 November 2009 04:19 am |
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It is not that unusual for your weight to flucuate up and down all day long, that is why they state that you should try and only weigh 1 time per week. I understand how hard that is, when I start out on a diet, or a change, I seem to want to weigh all day long. I have my husband hide the scale or put it where I can't reach it, I am only 5'3" so that is easy. Remember 1 day at a time, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and next time you decide you want a latte, treat yourself to what you like ask for low fat or no fat milk or even soy milk and just watch what you eat the rest of the day, maybe have a salad in place of the carb, or fish instead of beef or chicken, fish has less calories. Good Luck you can do it, and don't beat yourself up over one set back, remember tomorrow is another day.
Judy
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desperategirl
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Posted: 9 November 2009 08:41 pm |
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Thanks  .
So yesterday was my day off. I had a full english breakfast (well, almost full. I couldn't finish it). I snacked on cheese flavour rice cakes - not a great choice, but quite tasty. I had pizza for dinner (delivery - v greasy!) I was also baking for someone else so i dipped into the batter a few times. Not sure if it's because of that, but today i have been craving sugar like a mother. After one day of eating like that, my skin feels greasy again (a week's healthy eating plus some new skincare really helped) and my face looks puffy. And I used to eat like that everyday! I didn't actually enjoy the food so much, and there is some food I have had while restricting calories which is amazing, but I didn't want it on my day off - I wanted #%@&!. Maybe in future the day off should be having more calories, but still eating healthy foods? I would like to train my body to want those foods. If that is possible.
I'm also intrigued by the add stuff that tetrabyte posted in her diary. That could be worth a try. Although then I might end up eating c.rap food on the up days (as is my tendency). I'm going to think about it, as I think you could stretch 500 calories out along a day, if you ate stuff like tuna - a small can has 64 calories, and keeps you full for ages.
Today so far I've had:
cup of decaf 25
sandwich 414
soup 165
cup of tea 25
rotisserie chicken 160
cheese rice cake 38
apple 60
That's a total of 887 so far.
Because yesterday was my day off, I wanted to have a low day before I weigh myself tomorrow.
Really amazing food I've discovered this week is Marks and Spencers Spiced Roasted Butternut Squash soup. Oh man that stuff is good. Comes in at 165 calories a bowl, and worth every single one of them. It has a little bit coconut milk, and with the Indian spices...heavenly. Also, pink lady apples are really good too - high sugar content, but I only have one now and again.
Last weigh in was 173.25. Hoping to match or better that tomorrow morning.
Just been reading through old entries. I remember the good old days, when I thought being in the 160s was bad! Ha! I wish!
Oh. Maybe I should give myself some mini goals. I have lost just under 5 pounds, so I guess I'd like to lose my first half stone (7 pounds) and be at 171 lb by Sunday 15th November.
After that, I'd like to be at 167lb by December 1st.
Actually, that's enough for now. I would like to be under 154 lb by February. That's 19.25 lbs in just over 10 weeks - that's tight, considering it's likely that I'll gain over christmas, but we'll see.
Last edited on 9 November 2009 08:47 pm by desperategirl
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desperategirl
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Posted: 10 November 2009 07:53 pm |
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So, there I was, thinking I was fat, spotty and greedy, and not once did it occur to me that I had PMT.
I am a fool.
Didn't weigh in this morning. After about 1000 calories yesterday, I weighed in during the evening at 176. That means this morning I would have been around 174. Not as good as I would have hoped after such a low day. So anyways, I didn't weigh in, cause I thought that I would get upset, ruin my day, sabotage my efforts etc. But I'm probably only higher because of TOM. I won't weigh in until after that. I must be hauling around tons of water retention. I mean, my boons are like watermelons. (The long thin ones. Waaa).
So today I was soooooo hungry (typical pre-TOM for me, and, I guess, tons of women). Also, I was working, and we had to walk for nearly 5 HOURS STRAIGHT carrying signs that weighed about 10lb. (The joys of student part time jobs ha ha ha). So I guess that I probably burned around 800 calories, as a fairly conservative estimate. I have also read (and I'm sure mentioned on here many times - I tend towards rambling) that you need a few extra calories just before your period. On account of this, and almost fainting with hunger, I decided to have a blow out, and got a KFC. Not healthy, but I looked up the calories afterwards, and was pleasantly surprised to see that my burger and small fries added upto about 800 calories. With everything else I've eaten today, I'm probably at about 1600 and will probably just eat a couple of little bits for the rest of the day. With the exercise I did, I still have a healthy deficit.
I will be doing the same job for two more days, so should have a great deficit this week.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 16 November 2009 11:12 am |
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Went a little AWOL there.
Back upto 176.5, but it is the first day of my period, so by next week, I should be down a couple of pounds (as well as actually having lost a couple!)
Well, I kind of went on an eating rampage, which is why I put a couple of pounds back on. Actually, I am surprised it's not worse.
After talking about it for a couple of years, I have now actually joined a gym. I will go later today. Luckily, I have a day off today (managed to get some work last week, so earned some decent money). Unfortunately, I am not prepared for eating healthily and exercising today. My plan is to finish this entry, then go to the supermarket, but some tracksuit trousers and some healthy food, eat it, go to the gym, then apply for more jobs.
Phewhttp://www. It's a lot.
I have no plan for the gym as yet - they offer some really cool classes, but I think I might just spend a couple of weeks getting my cardio fitness up, then I will go to spinning. They also have a powerplate! Woowoo.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 16 November 2009 02:43 pm |
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I really need to get more organized - I got so hungry I felt light headed while I was out. I managed to hold off eating until I got back from the supermarket though, and had a delicious meal. Totals so far today are:
2 x cups of decaff 75
3 x weight watchers bacon 90
2 x wholemeal toast (left some) 175
low cal spray oil 25
2 x medium eggs w/ low fat cheese (left some) 250
1 x glass low cal lemonade 10
That's a total of 625. I'm aiming for 1500 a day, so with a snack after the gym (probably instant oatmeal and something else) I will leave myself about 500 for dinner (probably roast chicken breast and veg).
Feel nervous about gym, and have to go - I keep putting it off. I guess I can watch some tv and music videos while I work out. It's so hard for me to get off my a.ss. Lazy!
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desperategirl
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Posted: 16 November 2009 08:34 pm |
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Finally went to the gym, and did an hour of cardio. Before I do any more intense classes - like spinning, I want to work on my basic fitness. Also, they do short sessions where they teach you how to use kettlebells and weights, so I'll catch one of those and figure out a weights routine.
On top of what I posted before, I also ate:
2 x apples 100
10 x quorn cocktail sausages 160
Instant oatmeal 150
1 x decaff 25
can of vegetable soup 180.
That's a total of 615. Add that to what I had before (625) and that's a grand total of 1240. I might have a yoghurt later. Haven't had enough protein today.
Burned around 300 calories at the gym.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 18 November 2009 12:52 pm |
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Didn't go to the gym yesterday. How do people squeeze it in on work days?!!? I ate around 1400.
Weigh in this morning was 174.5. I am STILL waiting for my period to properly start. Hopefully, I'll lose some more water weight when it does.
I'm going to the gym soon. Today I sent off a bunch of job applications. I just have to clean the kitchen, then go to the bank. I'm still clearing up some petty cash from another job. It's a pain in the a.ss to go to the bank to sort out people's expenses, especially when it's not really my duty. Bah. Not even getting paid. Oh well, once it's done, it's done I guess.
I was thinking about doing pilates, but the early class has been and gone, and I don't want to wait until the later class. I will probably just go and do cardio. Gotta build up that fitness. I am going to start kettlebells soon, but I can't say I'm excited. I hate to be a whiney moron, but really, I was born to love reading and eating chocolate. Being slim just doesn't fit in with that. While I was running on the treadmill the other day, I was thinking about how much I would enjoy just lying on the couch and reading. Lazy.
So far today, I ate two scrambled eggs with low fat cheese on two slices of wholemeal toast with a cup of decaf (didn't finish it all) for a total so far today of about 400. It wasn't that enjoyable or satisfying, so I think I will gave something else tomorrow, for less calories.
I soooooo want to be under 168 mark. Me and my friend worked out the other day, that if we stuck to our diet and exercise plans, allowing for some christmas gain, we would get to goal by around May. That's not so long! I need some kind of motivation, something to keep me on the straight and narrow.
Maybe when I am under 168, I will try and aim for only 1lb weight loss per week, instead of 2. That means that I can eat 175 cals a day, and burn 250 through exercise, or just eat 1500 on the days I'm not exercising. That doesn't sound too hard. I want to be 136lb, so I need to lose 38.5lb. In theory, that's 38.5 weeks, which is roughly 9.5 months, which means I'd be done by August. It's quite a long time, but it doesn't seem too hard.
I guess that I will aim for 2lb a week until I'm 168lb - I have to lose 6.5lbs, so that should take around three weeks (hopefully a bit less, cause of water weight). After that, I will have 32lbs to lose - 32 weeks, roughly 8 months, done by July. And hopefully not too difficult, as my calories are never too low, and my exercise aims are very feasible.
I feel like I needed to look at that cold hard data, to get reassurance!
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desperategirl
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Posted: 18 November 2009 07:06 pm |
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Whew. Did a h.ell of a workout. Still no weights yet (I just need to feel a bit less intimidated - that'll come after a few more sessions I think). According to the machines (and I always take the readings with a pinch of salt) I burned 500 calories. It's the cross trainer man, it's amazing. Actually, just looked for readings of how many calories you can burn in an hour on a cross trainer, and 500 seems quite reasonable. Especially as I am a lot heavier than the 145lb person they base the estimates on!
I also walked home - about 35 minutes - the last 20 minutes with a couple of heavy bags of shopping. That will have added to the calorie burn.
I am being a bit rubbish though. I am really hungry, and I've had an apple, but I want to wait until a bit later until I eat dinner. I've had 400 cals for breakfast, a can of soup (220) and a decaf (30), an apple (60) and two glasses of diet squash (15). That's a grand total of 725 so far. For dinner I have swedish meatballs (220) in sauce (90) with low fat cheese (90) in a wholemeal wrap (86). That's 486 calories, but it should be really good and filling. After dinner, my calories will be at 1211. It doesn't feel like that much food for those calories. I guess I need to make smarter choices.
I will probably stick at that, as yesterday, without going to the gym, I only had a 600 calorie deficit. Today, with an 800 calories deficit from eating, and 500 from exercise, I'll be at 1300. That means, average deficit per day so far this week is 986. Yesterday screwed me a little. I must find time for the gym tomorrow.
I know you need a 7000 deficit to lose 2lb a week, but man it's hard.
Oh, one last thing - I was taking a slimming pill called Alli. Well, I stopped, because it didn't seem all that good, also I kept forgetting to take it (3 times a day!) so I am trying chromium instead - it's supposed to help with metabolism and sugar cravings. It was cheap, off the shelf at my local health food store. As far as I can tell, it's seems like a safe supplement.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 19 November 2009 10:49 am |
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Weight this morning was 173.75lb.
Got more job rejections this morning. it's so demoralising. it's not specifically the jobs themselves so much as the constant rejection. ahhhh. i guess i'll keep on pushing forward with my bar work and other c.rap until something turns up.
maybe i should have just gone into marketing or something. i could be on a good wage by now, and have a solid position. instead of being nowhere, which is where i am.
anyway...gotta try and refocus and be optimistic.
i'm going to try and make a kind of welsh rarebitty thing for brunch that i saw in a magazine. i'll add up calories later. then i will take two wraps to work, maybe a weight watchers yoghurt and an apple, then i got some fancy soup for dinner.
i hope to get to the gym - maybe just catch a pilates class or something. or maybe a good energy expending workout would be good for me right now.
can't wait to get into the 160s!!!!
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desperategirl
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Posted: 20 November 2009 08:48 pm |
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Weight was up this morning by over 1lb. I ended up at around 1300 calories, and burned around 500 at the gym, for a deficit of around 1200 yesterday. Think weight went up because of TOM (been waiting for it for over a week - hopefully now it'll hurry up and finish).
Worked a double today, so didn't have time for gym.
I ate:
2 x fruit bake bars 190
1 x chicken sandwich 285
1 x 100g penne pasta 350
1 x meatballs 200
1 x sauce 100
1 x orange squash 40
TOTAL SO FAR 1165
Going to keep the calories low, because I didn't work out.
I know I've been having big deficits, but I'm hoping that my metabolism won't slow down, cause I'm working out so much. I just plan to blast off the first 8 lbs, then slow down to a healthy 1lb a week weight loss, by having small 250 cal deficits, and doing 250 cal workouts (or something similar). Plus, once I've improved my fitness, I'm really looking forward to building a strong and lean body.
Hate the gym while I'm there, but love the way it makes me feel. I love to push myself. Feel motivated and good at the moment.
Last edited on 20 November 2009 09:46 pm by desperategirl
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desperategirl
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Posted: 21 November 2009 05:03 pm |
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Weighed in at 172.25lb this morning, which is my lowest yet since I started on this belated caper. That's cool. Also seems like the TOM bleeding may start. For those of you for whom that was TMI, you ain't gonna enjoy the next bit either...I have had a weird thing this time round with my period - some spotting nearly two weeks ago (between, I guess) then spotting for a week, while I've been waiting for it to begin. That was painless. Today, I have cramps, so I guess this is it. Hopefully after TOM, I will lose an extra pound of water retention. That would be sweet! Only 1.25lb to go until I lose my first half stone. Yay! Then once I'm under 168, I'll still be fat, but more of my clothes will fit (although I am enjoying living in my track pants, I must say). After I get under 161, I shall no longer be medically overweight! Yippeeee! Still too big for my frame though. You know how cute, fat little babies have tyres around their arms? I have that too. Sadly, it's not so cute on a grown-up.
Back to the progress report...today so far, I've had an onion bagel (250) with low fat cream cheese (70), avocado (30) and tomato (10). Also, one cup of decaff (25). That's a total of 385 so far. I am going to the gym soon - it's already nearly 5pm. Had a really lazy day so far, lying around reading, and waiting for my boyfriend to get back from the shops with my bagel and avocado ha ha ha.
I've had a deficit of around 4800, despite loads of exercise and loads of calorie deficits. Grrrrrrr. That means I have 2200 calories until I reach my goal of a 7000 calories deficit this week. That's an average 1100 daily deficit! Arghhhhhhhhhhhh. I am going to go to the gym soon after writing this...oh c.rap, just realised the gym shuts really early on the weekend. Bah. I will have to find something else to do. That's frustrating, as I didn't go yesterday, and was kind of looking forward to it today. I can go for a good long walk, but it's not the same as the cross trainer. Boo. I like going late. I guess I will go for a walk, keep the calories low today, go tomorrow in the morning, do a kick-a.ss workout. I actually feel really grouchy now I've missed my chance for a good workout. Like I've missed a precious chance to burn some pesky little calories. Pah.
9:30pm...
Just ate again - had an onion bagel (250) with a slice of low fat cheese (60) and half a serving of Swedish meatballs (110) and a little tomato (30). I also had a cup of coffee before with a splash of milk (25). That's a total of 860 so far for the day. I will definitely keep my calories below 1000 today, maybe closer to 900, because then I have less to do tomorrow to hit the magic 7000 calorie deficit point. Eating so little is definitely not something I should do long term, but I have been rubbish with workouts this week.
Even though I've had three days without workouts, two of the workout days I had, my overall deficit for that day was 1200. BUT the deficit is still averaging out at less than 1000 a day. That sucks. Tuesday was my downfall - no workout, and 1400 calories. I ended up snacking a lot that day, as I didn't have time to prepare food to take to work. It was all healthy, but it explains a lot - I like to eat more heartily rather than graze - grazing does not tend to satisfy me as much.
Anyway, my deficits work out as: (I am in danger of getting obsessed here, but typing this again and again stops my fat little fingers from shoving cake into my mouth)
Monday 1000
Tuesday 600
Wednesday 1200
Thursday 1200
Friday 800
Saturday 1100 (as long as I don't eat more than another 40 calories)
That's 5900. That means I need a deficit of 1100 tomorrow, so if I burn 500 calories at the gym, then I can eat 1400 calories. Because I haven't been to the gym for 2 days, I may feel strong and rested and able to do a longer workout, maybe aim to burn 600 calories, but still have 1400 calories to eat - use the 100 as a buffer.
My first official weigh in will be on Monday - the day after tomorrow - and I hope to be down from where I was this morning. Nearly three weeks ago I started out at 178lb, after a rubbish two weeks of being the least committed dieter in the world, I still lost 1.5lb. I would like to be 171lb by Monday, which is pretty unrealistic, given that I'd have to lose 1.25lb in a day, but it would be a perfect scenario for me. Fingers crossed that I can drop the TOM water weight/blood weight.
I'm so impatient to get under 168lb, so that I'm under 12 stone. Being 11 stone something isn't great, but just feels a lot better. For me, 12 stone is like a magic threshold to despair. I just FEEL puffy and gross and wrong. I've only been over 12 stone twice in my life, and after the first time, I vowed it wouldn't happen again. Four and a quarter pounds to go, then I can say goodbye to that horrible number forever.
If I was at 171lb by Monday, I might even make an extra push to lose 3lb next week (a calorie deficit of 10,500 - a TON of exercise needed) just to try and reach 168lb. After that, I can relax a bit, aim to lose 1-1.5lb a week. That would probably feel quite easy after this week! Although having said that, I have enjoyed the food that I have eaten this week, and I have felt great after my workouts.
Last edited on 21 November 2009 10:03 pm by desperategirl
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desperategirl
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Posted: 23 November 2009 12:43 pm |
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Didn't check in here yesterday. I like to do it away from the prying eyes of others (who think I need to get over my hangups, but you know what? I am medically overweight. Trying to sort that out, isn't a hangup). Anyway, I didn't get the chance.
I weighed in yesterday at 172lb. My calories were 1200, which was lower than I was aiming for, but just the way things worked out. I did a good workout - burned 500 calories, so I had a deficit of 1300. I weighed in today at 172lb. In theory, a decficit of 1300 should have translated to a drop of just over 1/3 of a pound, but it's still TOM, and my insides are still probably a bit fuzzed up. Whatever - this time last week, I was 4.5lb heavier, so I'll take a 4.5lb weightloss for the first proper committed week.
I need one of those tickers to measure my weightloss. I am 6lb down from my all time high of 178lb. The good thing is that at 178lb, I was closer to 200lb than 150lb. Now, at 172lb, I am closer to 150lb. Yippee!
Well, I'd been waiting for TOM to start properly - it did yesterday, and while I was working out, I felt horrible. I wanted to finish, because I'd started, but I didn't feel good after that workout. I guess that strenuous exercise and really heavy bleeding do not mix.
I have been too lazy to get out to the gym today, even though it's not even 1pm yet, I have a lot of work to do before I go and meet someone, so I guess I won't have time for the gym today, although that may not be a bad thing, judging by how c.rap I felt yesterday.
I had an interesting experience at the gym yesterday. For some reason, all the women in the changing room were incredibly toned (some to the point of muscly). Anyway, I was there, NOT toned, very flabby, and looking like s.hit generally, but I didn't feel embarrassed at all. Maybe because I'm working on myself. Just knowing that I'm on the right path makes me feel better about myself.
Isn't that what everyone here is doing? Working hard just to feel comfortable in their own skin?
Anyway, these girls weren't even snobby, just smiling, and not seeming to look down on me at all. That was nice. I would just make the assumption that they would be bitchy and superior, and that would be as unfair as them making the assumption that I'm lazy and spend 24hrs a day shoving cake into my fat mouth.
Anyway, I had an argument with my boyfriend yesterday, and he said something that made me feel bad about myself (it wasn't about weight or body size) and I just kept thinking, "I'm working so hard just to feel comfortable with myself."
I don't think I'm going to weight myself until after my TOM is finished. No point - the scale is probably going to go crazy anyway. I'm also thinking of having a higher calorie day, as I've been having a lot of low days, and I don't want to slow down my metabolism. Maybe today I will have 1800 calories. I wonder if I should have 2000 calories - I had an extra deficit from last week, and I will be going to the gym and stuff. Just to rev the metabolism. I will look it up, because I don't want to waste a day's precious possible deficit, but I would hate to make things harder for myself long term by making by body try and hold onto every little calorie.
Well anyway, last week I lost 4.5lb. This week, I think I will aim to lose 1.5lb. I know that it will take me longer lose the weight than going for 2lb every week, but I want to do something I could stick to. If when I started a diet, I aimed to lose 1/2lb a week, and stuck to a plan that was achievable, I would be at goal weight now, instead of always going h.ell for leather and failing miserably. Slow and steady. What's the rush anyway?
So, this week, I will need a deficit of 5250. I will not be having a deficit today, as I will be eating 2000 calories. So a deficit of 5250 calories spread over 6 days means I need a deficit of 875 calories each day. With my 500 calorie burning workouts (which I am going to change in a few weeks) that means that on gym days I can eat 1625, and on non-gym days I can eat 1125. That's very low, so I will try and get to the gym as often as possible. Even if it's for a less intense workout, and just for some pilates or something - I would like to stretch out my chunky muscles!
I also think that every week, I will have a day where I eat 2000 calories. Keep the old metabolism revved.
So far today, I have had:
2 x slices wholemeal bread 206
1/2 x serving meatballs 110
small amount tomato sauce 30
2 x cups of coffee 50
That's a total of 396 so far today. I'll be eating out later (I'll take the nutritional info for where we're going). I may even treat myself to a small hot chocolate from Starbucks! (Though I should maybe make the extra calories more nutritional).
10pm...
Oh c.rap. Just lost a long post. Gist of it was this: ate a small meal at Nandos, resulting calorie total for the day is 1537. Was aiming for 2000, so may or may not eat more later. Feeling a bit ill, so not much appetite.
Last edited on 23 November 2009 10:19 pm by desperategirl
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desperategirl
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Posted: 24 November 2009 04:33 pm |
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Weighed in this morning at 171.5lb. Great! Closer and closer to getting out of the c.rappy 170s. Never thought I'd be so happy to weigh that much though! (Though that was before 12 months GORGING on cake etc - all the good stuff that I live for). I so so so so so so want to be 136lb! I guess I'm looking at next summer. That isn't so far, really. My first summer where I won't feel like a bleughhh. (Well, first summer since I was about 10, anyway).
So far today I've had a low calories toffee pudding thing (I know, but it was in the fridge - 185), half a cup of coffee (15), a tin of soup (220) and a cup of tea (20). That's a total of 460 - which feels like a lot of calories, considering it feels like I haven't really eaten anything.
I have a bit of a cold - sore throat, heavy head. I am working early tomorrow, so will have to get an early night. I will be having chicken breast, maybe rice (brown) and veg for dinner. Will probably need a snack before then. I will try and keep my calories quite low today, as I am working weird shifts tomorrow, and I can imagine that my eating patterns will get messed up, and I'll end up eating more. I also won't have time for the gym, as I'm working for a 12 hour shift. Same with Thursday. No gym until Friday evening! Not good. But I feel terrible today, and have to work for the rest of the week. Working out feeling this way would be a total waste of time and effort. No point in making myself worse.
I think I should start making my own soup - I will look up some hughly nutritious, tasty and low cal recipes online later.
I feel positive this time - this time it could really work!
I will type up my deficit later. Fingers crossed for a weigh in of at most 170lb next Monday.
Just looked over this diary, and saw that my previous goal for December the 1st was 167lb (then I went off the rails again). I would now like to be 167lb around the middle of December.
8:00pm...
Sooooooooooooooooo hungry today. Was seriously close to gorging on cookies this evening. Instead, I ate a weight watchers yoghurt in huge, furious mouthfuls. Then I put my dinner in the stove. I had the yoghurt (50), a chicken breast (160) and 200g of new potatoes (150) with some sprays of oil (10). I still NEEDED something, so I ate a few spoonfuls of ice cream. Literally a couple of mouthfuls (120). Today's total so far is 950, which is lower than I thought. Great! I can have something else. I love eating, and I miss eating with abandon, but then I guess I'm trying to understand that it's not healthy or normal to eat like that, One day I hope I can be around food like a normal person.
Last edited on 24 November 2009 08:11 pm by desperategirl
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desperategirl
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Posted: 25 November 2009 07:22 pm |
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Ha, what was it I was saying about "this time is the one," blah blah? I think pride comes before a fall, as shortly after that, I ate PIZZA and COOKIES. My estimated calorie intake for yesterday is 950 + 100 (yog) + 456 (cookies) + 850 (pizza) = 2356 (glutton).
On the plus side, I had just over 1600 the day before, so they even out - no excess, no deficit. Weight this morning was back upto 173lb, but probably that was water etc.
So today should have been a good day, right? Wrong. I started well, with porridge (300) and soup with some bread (400). Then after work, I got really hungry, and just thought, "I could eat. There's nothing to stop me going crazy and just eating everything in here." I bought a ham sandwich, a large bag of chips, and some children's candy. I ate half the sandwich (165), just under 100g of the chips (400) and 8 of the candies (240). That's a total of 1505 at the moment. It past 7pm, so I may not need to eat anything else. I was all up for just eating it all, then I ate some, felt sated and thought that it would be a real NSV to be able to stop and leave it there.
IF I feel hungry before bed, I will eat, but for now, I am fine. It would be nice to have the first deficit of the week. I should re-adjust my goals. I guess now, with 4 days left in the week, if I could aim for a total deficit of 1750, I could lose half a pound this week. I would only need a deficit of less than 500 a day. I will allow myself 2000 calories tomorrow if I need them (working all day in the freezing cold) and make up the extra deficit by going to the gym and having 1500 calories on Friday.
I will try not to weigh in tomorrow - I will try not to weigh in until Monday.
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desperategirl
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Posted: 30 November 2009 12:05 pm |
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Weigh in yesterday: 172.5lb. Not bad as I've lost all sense of control. On the plus side, despite eating without counting calories, I haven't particularly been binging. I did eat a few chocolates last night, but I doubt that my calorie total was much over 2000, which is cool.
Stuff I've learned in last week:
It's easy to be strict and burn a lot of calories on days where I have nothing else to do but be obsessive, but on days where I am working (now I have a job), especially when I'm working outside in the cold, I need to eat, and can't always control the calories I'm getting.
It's also easy to go to the gym everyday when I'm not working, or only working short hours. Again, not so easy on work days.
So, my plan is this: I am in no rush to lose weight. I'm not happy with the way I am at the moment, but I need to learn to be comfortable with myself, or I'll never be happy. I have been over thirty pounds smaller than I am now, and I still wasn't happy, so it's a state of mind, as well as a dress size.
I have decided to readjust my goal - 147lb, which is quite a big higher than before, but it puts me firmly within the healthy margins for my height, and as I plan to work out, I will be a toned and lean 147lb.
That means I have a total of 25.5lb to lose, which feels much more doable. I can easily re-evaluate how I feel as I get closer to goal. (That means that in theory, I need to have a calorie deficit of 89,250!) Allowing for trip ups and Christmas gain, that means I should reach my goal weight by around the beginning of July. That is quite a long time away, but it should be very easy to stick to, as I will have having small deficits, and mixing up the exercise. I really have to find an exercise that I enjoy! I will also be experimenting with food that I enjoy, rather than finding a low calorie food and overdosing on it.
So far today, I've had 225 calories. Today I will eat 1800, and burn 500 calories at the gym. Tomorrow, I am working early in the morning, and outside. I will also have very little choice where to eat, so I will have 2000 calories, but again, do a cardio workout at the gym and burn 500. That will give me a 1200 calorie deficit after 2 days. I don't know my rota for the rest of the week, but I will hopefully find out later today.
I will aim to lose 1lb a week, though calorie counting and working out. I will re-evaluate my exercise and diet plans every week.
I aim to weigh in at 171.5lb next Monday.
2:15pm
Just had lunch. Had soup with a bagel, low fat cream cheese and a tomato. Total calories so far for today are 537. I'll round that to 550. I still have 1250 for the rest of the day. Not sure what I'll have tonight yet. I may stop off at the supermarket from the way from the gym, and see what's inspiring. I fancy bananas actually, so I'll probably get some of them. I can definitely fit them into the calorie count now. I shall find my cookbooks, and try to devise healthy versions of some of the nice recipes in there.
It's really hard to make myself go to the gym. I just don't enjoy exercise. Sigh. Oh well, I'll start mixing it up more soon. I just have to think about how much stronger and healthier my body will be if I continue to go. Plus, my membership cost a fortune!
Last edited on 30 November 2009 02:17 pm by desperategirl
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desperategirl
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Posted: 1 December 2009 04:48 pm |
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Ended up eating about 1600 calories yesterday - it was quite bad, actually, I ended up eating a very large dinner - 800 calories. Maybe I need to divide them better throughout the day? I prefer eating a bigger meal at night, but I'm not so sure it's good for you.
Burned 500 calories at the gym. Also ended up walking A LOT (i.e. for an hour, fast) so I guess I got good exercise in. I'm happy with that as a start to the week - a 900 calorie deficit, only 2600 to go.
I've eaten about 885 calories so far today (it's about 4:30pm). I was going to have 2000, and do a 500 calorie workout, but I may stick to 1750, which still leaves me with plenty of calories (865) for tonight. I don't want to go to the gym. I am definitely not in the mood for one of my incredibly boring 500 calorie burning intense cardio workouts. I could go swimming instead. I like that - also, I won't need to burn as many calories, as I'm having a deficit in my eating. It's just so cold though - bitingly cold. The thought of leaving the gym with wet hair. Bleurghhh. I'm making excuses now though.
I've looked up a few websites, and it seems like I could burn a couple of hundred of calories swimming for 30 minutes, so I'll do that for a change. Still don't wanna go though.
Was working outside today, and I've got chills into my bones. I will get a cup of tea and hot water bottle before I think about leaving the house again.
Really hungry. May have to rethink calories for today. Why does being so cold make you so hungry?
LATER...
So, I was so hungry, that I got very close to binging. I ate a small bag of corn snacks (100) and a chocolate (30). I then started looking for sweet things. Then I thought about why I really want it to work this time. I've failed before, because I've been too strict, couldn't maintain it and snapped and binged. Now, I will lose weight slowly, through a combination of diet and exercise. If I get my deficits right, that should happen. And if that involves days of high calories - upto 2000 calories, I will work out that day. Worse case scenario: I don't lose weight that day. Much better than actively gaining after a binge. So, I am hungry - if I didn't need to eat, why would I experience genuine hunger? So, after that mini binge, I made a sandwich and cup of tea (320). That takes my calorie totals for today upto 1335, which is quite high, as it's a couple of hours before dinner yet - however, it will be totally possible to have something healthy, delicious and filling within a calorie count of 2000 today - which I originally planned, then tried to lower. I have to get of this mentality where I try and cut down constantly. I've tried that many times, and it didn't work. I should burn about 400 calories exercising. I will do a little bit of cross trainer to burn 200 or 300, then swim for 30 minutes.
So yesterday's deficit of 900, plus today's deficit of 400 will take me upto 1300. That means that to lose 1lb this week, I will need a further deficit of 2200 over 5 days. That's an average of 440 per day.
Last edited on 1 December 2009 05:11 pm by desperategirl
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The Lioness
Member
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Posted: 2 December 2009 05:55 am |
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Hey Desperategirl! I’m so glad I found your diary. I really feel like you and I are two peas in a pod when it comes to how we eat, and how we have a hard time exercising (well, at least you GO to the gym. I can’t even do that. LOL!). What I did see in your posts is that you snack. Maybe you’d lose weight faster if you completely gave up on those guilty pleasures for right now. Like for me, I completely gave up on ALL junk food until I lose 50 pounds. Maybe when you’re craving sweets, you’re really craving natural sweets. I’d try fruit. The good thing about this method is that if you’re craving something sweet, and you don’t wanna eat fruit, then you know you want the sugar you don’t need. Water is a good substitute. A lot of cravings we experience are due to water (as you already know).
It’s all about willpower. If I were you, I’d cut out all the little goodies until you lost the weight you want to lose. Those goodies are processed, and have a lot of hidden things in them that do more damage than good.
You’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Just try to cut out the junk. I know it’s hard, trust me. I’m the girl who will eat a 4 dollar family sized bag of chips due to, “cravings.”
You can do it. The junk is not doing anything but making you want more of it. It is your enemy..... YOUR ENEMY! LOL!
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desperategirl
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Posted: 7 December 2009 12:09 pm |
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Thanks Lioness! I like that! THE ENEMY.
I have been soooo busy, and not had time to post. I've been ok with eating (overall deficit) and pretty good with gym - three really solid workouts last week.
I saw the scale move up and down irrationally last week. In fact, it's barely moving down at all, but a few days ago, I saw some people who I haven't seen in a while, and they both noticed that I was looking well. My pants are definitely looser. I am going to stop looking at the scale for a while.
I am going to try and be less obsessive. Yesterday, I was going to eat whatever, as I had a lunch date and was working (and the food I get at work is pure grease) but when I calculated my calories at the end of the day, I actually had a deficit. I think that over thinking it so much is what sabotages it for me. I look at the naturally smaller people, and they do not seem to spend their lives thinking about food.
For a couple of weeks, I will work out, eat healthy foods in appropriate portions, and see how I feel/look then.
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keithwbrooks
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| Joined: | 30 November 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 18 |
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Posted: 8 December 2009 12:54 am |
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Hey desperategirl,
I just wanted to encourage you to keep on keeping on.
What's your daily caloric goal? Mine's 2,321 and I have trouble keeping that! Yours seems much smaller!
What I've found really helpful is logging my food on my iPhone. I've got an app called Livestrong - I can chart everything on there.
Keep up the good work!
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 12 December 2009 06:10 pm |
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so...haven't counted calories or been to the gym (not through choice - was just working too much, and now i have a horrible cold) and finally, after avoiding the scale, and jumping on it just now, I hit 171.25! (after eating, so I'm going to consider it 171!) Finally! My lowest yet, since i started this time around.
All i've really been doing is eating what i want. a couple of times, i've over eaten. On the whole though, i've just been eating when i feel hungry, eating what i feel like eating, and stopping when i get full.
i will continue with this, and get back into the gym habit. i will mainly avoid the scale.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 12 January 2010 12:20 pm |
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BACK AGAIN!
So, after getting a full time job, I was finding it hard to fit in the eating and gym. Actually, scrub that, I was just finding it hard to stop eating. I knew I was overweight, and knew that I looked bad, and felt unhappy, but could not find motivation to control my eating.
Over Christmas, I ate whatever - truly, the food is one of the best parts, and I am quite happy to put on a few pounds. I lingered around 173lb around Christmas and just after. Then somehow, (somehow as in eating TOO much) I suddenly weighed in at 178.5!!!! Not cool.
So, I am trying the alternate day diet again. These are my weigh ins so far:
Week 1 - 178.5lb
Week 2 - 173.75lb
After the first week, I lost 4.75lb. That's great. I actually went down to 173lb at one point, but ended up having two 'up' days in a row, because of a dinner that came up, with an out of town visit. I decided to roll with the punches, take the extra up day, then continue to alternate days.
So far, I have found that eating 500 calories is not much harder than eating, say, 1400 calories. I guess that's because I know I can eat properly the next day. So far, I haven't binged terribly on the up days. I guess yesterday I ate around 2000 calories, more or less. You are meant to not think about calories on up days, but that's pretty hard, since I basically trained myself for the last twelve years to know the content of EVERYTHING.
I need to get a bit better with the gym. I guess the problem is that I don't want to go on a down day in case it makes me hungrier or pass out or something! I need to get more organized, as at the moment, I'm doing lots of work stuff outside work hours, so a lot of my time is already designated. Plus, I've got into a really bad routine of getting up as late as possible, and staying up until I fall asleep on the couch. Doesn't feel conducive to good health.
Because work is not too demanding, and I'm not doing a long commute at the moment, the diet feels quite possible. I have found things that work for me. Not usually a fan of herbal or fruit teas, but they only have a couple of calories per cup, so I'm drinking quite a few of them. Tuna is great - really filling, so I'm having salads with arugula, tuna, potatoes and balsamic. Fills me up for ages, for the bargain price of only 160 - 200 calories depending on size. The 0% Greek yoghurts are great too. 10 grams of protein for only 75 calories. I add some sweetener, and they taste great, and again, are filling. I also have one of those small loaves where the slices are small, so there's only like 50 cals per slice. I have that with some very low fat cream cheese for a total of 74 cals. Again, quite filling.
For my up days, I have been having what I want, but I saw some prepared high protein, low fat meals that are new, and on offer for only £1 (as opposed to about £4 or £5 which they will be soon). I may buy some today, for my up days to have something healthy but nice, but also cheap but quality (they are from Marks and Spencers - the place is food heaven). I could do with saving some cash at the moment.
I am so desperate to get out of the 170s for once and for all. Let's hope that by week 4, I'm there.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 13 January 2010 01:07 pm |
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Not an official weigh in, but tipped the scales at 172.75lb today. Will post official weight next Tuesday (after a down day on Monday).
Today is an up-day. Why is it that up days seem so much shorter than down days? I've read that after two weeks, you shouldn't get hungry on the down days anymore. Here's hoping, because yesterday was a toughie.
Still loving the concept of the diet though, and finding it a bit easier to follow this time round.
Been reading the last page of my diary, and one day I'm saying one thing, the next another. Looking at posts from this time last year, I was nearly 20lb lighter! A whole year spent obsessing over food and diets, and the net result is a hefty gain. Oh well, this time round. I know it's possible - you see people who have lost weight all the time.
I can be one of them.
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desperategirl
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| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 14 January 2010 01:36 pm |
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Did a bad thing and weighed in this morning. Shouldn't really do that, as weight is inevitably higher after an up day. Weighed in at 173.25lb, which is only a pound up from yesterday, so hoping to drop below 172.75lb tomorrow. That would be great.
Last down day, I went over my calories by about 75. I am determined NOT to do that today. So far (it's after 1pm) I've had a cup of herbal tea, which I'm still sipping. I work in the evenings, and generally get to bed around 2am, so if it's a down day, I try and sleep in as late as I can. It's lucky I'm doing this job at the moment, as it's easier to structure my eating around this plan, whilst saving up valuable study funds!
I was happy with my calories yesterday - I ate A LOT of potatoe chips (NOT a good choice, but it's my up day!) then I had a burger in the evening. I felt sated all day, and consumed around 1800 calories. Then, really late before bed, for some reason I ate a bunch of cookies. I ended up at around 2500, which after my down days will still result in a weekly deficit, but I have to take control of my choices. Up days are not about mindlessly stuffing yourself. I'm getting there slowly. Tomorrow, I will not mindlessly stuff late at night.
If I lose at a rate of 6lb a month (likely, given calorie deficits, if I continue eating this way) I could reach 138lb by the end of June. That's only 5.5 months away! This is doable! I can do it!
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 18 January 2010 03:46 pm |
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Week 1 - 178.5lb
Week 2 - 173.75lb
This week - 170.75lb
Weight was up this morning again (to 172.5lb) after an up day. By next week's weigh in, I hope to have dropped below 169lb. That's a 2lb loss. Just under 8lb in two weeks is good going. That is without the gym. Have been rubbish at going. I need to find more balance in my life at the moment. Because I'm often working evenings, I just get up late, then hang around all day, waiting for work. I don't want to go to the gym on a down day, as that wouldn't be good. Tomorrow I'm working during the day, and it's an up day, so I guess I'll go to the gym for a quick session. Probably just elliptical training again.
I'm still quite happy with the diet, but I am feeling like down days are getting harder at the moment. I'm starving, and have just had my 100 calorie snack - which is a small amount I know, but usually keeps me going for a bit longer.
The staples that I have been relying on are: canned tuna in brine, salad leaves and tomatoes (low cal bulk), low fat greek yoghurt (100 cals with sweetener, and actually delicious AND 10g of protein!). I've also had a LOT of diet soda and herbal teas.
Fasting doesn't really make me feel good like it does to other people. I just feel hungry. I'm hoping that if I persevere with it, it will get easier.
Aside from diet news, there's nothing else going on. I'm just trucking along alright with work and life.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 January 2010 04:55 pm |
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| Hi Desprate, does your gym have a shower? If so could you try going before work on those days when you work late? I don't work nights but I still find I am much more faithful to the gym if I make it the first thing I do in the day. I feel so much better knowing it's been done. Don't worry, it will get easier as you get more used to the lowered calories. And if you are really hungry a low calorie high protien snack isn't a bad idea, like a hard boiled egg or an extra yogurt. Your doing great, good luck.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 18 January 2010 10:31 pm |
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ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Today was suppossed to be a low day - i.e. 500 calories, but I was struggling all day, and now, after just nibbling bits of this and that am at around 1200. So so disappointed with myself.
I have a few options: tomorrow can be a low day, tomorrow can be a high day as planned, or tomorrow, I can limit my calories so that over the two days combined, I still have a deficit, then go back to a low day the day after. I guess I'll do that - have 1200 calories, and got to the gym and burn about 300 calories. That should make it up. I also won't weigh myself until next monday, so I should get over the blip.
Just writing down the transgression here has made me feel a lot better.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 19 January 2010 03:22 pm |
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I think I probably ate around 1200-1300 yesterday. It's hard to say, as I was picking small bits. Today I've had about three bites of cake, a cracker (20) a cup of coffee (40) a bite of chorizo. I guess that's around 200. I really should pay more attention.
That means I have 1000 left for today. Not sure what to have. In a way, it feels a lot compared to 500. Maybe I will rush to the shops and buy something prepared and calorie counted and take it to work with a salad. Tomorrow will be a down (500) day again. I hope messing up yesterday won't have ruined this week.
Won't have time to check in later. Feeling good about today so far though.
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desperategirl
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| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 21 January 2010 01:13 pm |
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After a successful day at around 1200, yesterday morning I weighed in at 170.5lb, which is my lowest (probably for about six months). Not a huge drop from Mondays weigh in (170.75lb) but I'll take any drop, however small.
Yesterday, I was supposed to have a down day, but for some reason, couldn't face it at all, so I had an up day, and am having a down day today. Haven't weighed myself this morning, and not sure if I will - a bit scared after yesterday's up day...Couldn't wait, just weighed myself...171.25lb. Not bad! A down day today, then I will try and will only weigh in on Tuesday for my offical weigh in. I was aiming to drop below 169 by next weigh in. I have 5 days until then, it's 1.75lb from my lowest weigh in, so we shall see. Should be possible. I really should stop weighing myself every day, but I find it so hard not to. Especially after a down day, because I feel that after that hard work, I deserve the treat of seeing the scale drop!
Something this week highlighted for me was that I am starting to find the 500 calorie days a bit gruelling. I thought it would get easier (other people seem to get into a groove) but if anything, I am finding it harder. I think the solution is just to try and push through those days, and if absolutely necessary, have two 1000 - 1200 cal days if I just cannot face a 500 cal day. I am also thinking that by the time I get to 161lb, I might start alternating 2000 calorie days with 1000 calorie, rather than 500 calorie days.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 January 2010 01:27 pm |
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| Hi Desparate, I just wanted to say don't worry too much about daily changes, my wieght changes up to 2 pounds in a day for no apparant reason but as long as I go down for the week I'm happy. I think it just depends on what you eat and how your body is processing everthing including the water.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 24 January 2010 04:05 pm |
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Typed in a long entry yesterday and lost it. Grrrrr. Weigh in today was 169.5lb, which means I am under 170lb! Yippee!
The weight seems to be coming off more slowly this week - I've only lost 1.25lb, with one more up day, and one more down day until my official weigh in. This early in the game, I would like to be losing 2lb a week, so fingers crossed I will be 168.75lb by Tuesday (today is Sunday) but I don't think I will be. I guess I need to get off my #%@&! and go to the gym. Having said that, it's not too long until my TOM is due, so I could already be retaining water.
My goal weight is now 138lb. I calculate that I could reach that by the end of June if I continue with this diet. I have not taken exercise into account, but I will be trying to fit in two gym visits a week, so that should help towards this goal.
I am going to try and watch what I eat more on up days. I am going out for dinner later, so I have kept my calories low - about 350 so far (it's about 4pm). That's not as low as it sounds - I was working very late, and only got up a few hours ago. I also tend to want to eat more heavily late in the evening.
I shall post my official weigh in the day after tomorrow. Fingers crossed!
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 25 January 2010 12:52 pm |
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I know, I know, I keep saying I'm not gonna do it, then I do it...weighed in...good news! (Even after an up-day!). The scale said 168.25lb, which is a substantial drop from yesterday. Hope there's another drop for my official weigh in tomorrow.
It's funny, I never got this heavy before, except once, when I was living abroad for a year, and lived like every day was a holiday. I was living in North America, so had loads of new foods that I never had in the UK, and ate and ate and ate and ate. In fact, I think if I ate like that for a year now, I'd be closer to 220lb, rather than 180lb. I guess that's age for you.
Anyway, when I got home, the first 15lb dropped off pretty fast, without too much effort - like my body just didn't feel like it should have been over 168lb. This time, I've been working since September to get below 168lb, and it's been a slog. Age again, I guess.
I'm glad the pounds are dropping fairly quickly now. My goal is 138, which means a total of 40.5lb lost from my highest weight. A 1/3 of 40.5 is 13.5lb. I have lost 10.25lb so far, so I need to lose another 3.25lb to get to a third of my goal achieved. This means that in less than two weeks, I could be a third of the way through! Sweet. I have to think like that to get me through the rough times, where all I wanna do is eat.
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desperategirl
New Member
| Joined: | 15 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 285 |
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Posted: 26 January 2010 01:20 pm |
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Week 1 - 178.5lb
Week 2 - 173.75lb
Week 3 - 170.75lb
This Week - 167.75lb
I will stop posting every week's results soon, but for now, it gives me a cheap thrill to look at the beautiful descending numbers! Squeezed in under 12 stone (168lb) by the skin on my nose. Very happy to be out of the 170s, but probably won't feel properly out of them until I lose a couple more pounds.
Lost just under 10lb in three weeks. Very happy with that. I expect my progress to start slowing down, but as long as I'm still dropping, I'll be happy.
Actually went over my calories - by about 200 yesterday. I will start upping the calories on my down days in any case soon.
I am looking forward to hitting 161lb. Still big, but a weight at which I have spent more time, and am quite comfortable at. That's 6.75lb to go, so I hope to get there within four weeks. I think then I and others will be able to see that I've lost weight. Once I get under 154lb, I expect to feel a bit difference.
I am going to go eat now. I have bought soya burgers and brown bread. Not too many cals or fat and delicious.
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50lbs2lose
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 January 2010 02:53 pm |
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| This is so encouraging to me that this is working for you! I'm doing something similar and after reading your diary it makes ne want ti keep at it . Go girl!
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zenobia
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 January 2010 06:35 am |
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you have had some great progress! that is so cool! yes, do you make the plan sound very appealing! and you make it sound so easy to stick to 500 cals a day. man, i had trouble with 800 (and change) today. keep it up!
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