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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 June 2008 11:47 pm |
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Today went OK.
At the cheesecake factory I had their salad/soup/sandwich combo - it wasn't as enormous as I was expecting. I got the turkey sandwich and took off the 1/2 of the bread that had the mayo on it, I ate 1/2 the soup and asked for the low fat sesame dressing for the salad (which I also only ate 1/2 of) - I am estimating out the calorie intake at 500 (100 bread, 100 turkey, 150 soup, 150 salad - I don't trust that dressing)
We then walked around the mall for 3 1/2 HOURS. We did stop at ben and jerry's - I had the small cup of the lowfat yogurt - online it says 1/2 cup = 170 cals. I think this was a little more than that so= 250 cals. (again - i'm not sure i trust this because it was awfully good, but OK)
Not bad, eh?
Thanks for all the feedback guys. Scoobs, great advice, thanks. I think what is throwing me on the "starvation" mode thing is that I think I could understand not losing because of low cals, but the gaining because of low cals just doesn't compute for me.
I'm sure exercise is key - I certainly got some today (my legs are throbbing!  ).
Update on my continuing quest for non-weight success:
I've been measuring myself and today when I woke up, I could have sworn I was thinner. Here's what happened:
Measurement Start 06/15/08 06/21/08
chest 51.75 49.5 48.25
abdomen 52.5 48.0 46.5
hips 51.25 46.5 46.25
That means I lost 3" in only 6 days. That abdomen (it's the biggest torso measurement, not my waist which is 43") is the important one, as it is the reason why my health is so precarious. It has gone from being the larger of the 3 to being smaller/the same as the others which means my body is beginning to get a more healthy shape.
Plus it also indicates that the 2lb in 2 day gain is BS.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
Last edited on 21 June 2008 11:48 pm by MidgeH
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joyfulme
New Member
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Posted: 22 June 2008 04:06 am |
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Thank you for coming by my journal. I did not realize how lonely it feels when you think no one is reading.  I know that sounds crazy.
I have enjoyed reading your journal. So much of it could be me writing.
I have a love hate relationship with my church fellowships. I am president of the Golden Harvestors and it is mostly all older than me. And those ladies can cook. We meet once a month and each lady tries to outdo the others. All that southern food is so irrisistable.
Good night and
Sweet dreams
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 22 June 2008 07:29 pm |
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Ok. I can't take it anymore. I've decided not to weigh myslef for a week. (well, 6 days)
I weigh everyday and the crazy things the scale is doing is affecting my peace of mind. This morning I was just so angry. This week I will continue to eat healthy and get some exercise and see what happens.
Later... Ok, my little snit is over. Feeling better.
Food today way fine, as usual. It's become second nature for me eat right (although still not enough). During my funk today I even started thinking I would just go ahead and get something while I was out and I couldn't even think of anything I wanted. Another entry in the Success Other than Loss category! A couple of months ago I would have just driven through the closest drive through.
So, I'm preparing for my trip - I leave for Munich on Saturday. 3 days in Germany, then 3 days in Poole, UK. I've been to Poole before, but I've never been to Germany. I'm a little nervous. I don't speak a word of German! Luckily I perfected the "ugly american pointed and grunting" technique during a couple of trips I took to France.
I may be in for a rude awakening in the weight loss category this trip. I'm one of those rare people who actually LOSE weight every time they go on vacation. Not having access to all the #%@&! I would normally eat and being far more active would make it easy (I ate my way through Paris once and still managed to lose 5lbs in 6 days). This is not a vacation, though, and this time what I won't have access to is my healthy eats.
Nothing I can do except try not to do anything stupid like eat weinerschnitzel and fish and chips 3x a day! (although I plan on having them at least once!  )
Last edited on 23 June 2008 02:11 am by MidgeH
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 June 2008 02:12 am |
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| Oops, double post.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 June 2008 02:21 am |
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Ooooh Midge. I am envious, although I know you are going to be working on this trip it sounds pretty cool. I take it however you will be conducting training in English, you are going to be training people, right? I love the UK.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 June 2008 02:39 am |
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| I could try to teach in german I suppose. (given some of the responses I've gotten during other training sessions I doubt they'll know the difference!)
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 June 2008 12:03 am |
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Food today:
Breakfast: toast and promise (180)
Snack: grapes (150)
Lunch: I had to go to the DMV at lunch and afterwards I went to the Qdoba next door. I had the naked taco salad w/chicken & pico de gallo - no cheese , no sour cream. according a couple of calorie sites (& qdoba) this was 350 cals. Pretty good! (I added extra salsa and it was a little too spice so I added 1 tbs of guac to cool it off - total 380 cals). I think the cals are right as I was hungry 2 hours later (I've become pretty sensitive to that, a 500 or 600 cal meal and it's 4 hours before I get hungry)
Snack: Kashi Bar (140)
Snack: 3 slices of deli turkey (60 cals)
Dinner: chicken breast and peas (230 cals)
Total 1140 - better!
Everything else was OK today - I'm getting some exercise through heavy housework - I've been such a lazy bum! I really don't want to leave a dirty house when I leave. (30 mins of general cleaning =-170, 30 mins of walking would have been -187)
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joyfulme
New Member
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Posted: 24 June 2008 12:55 am |
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I do not like to clean house, but I do know it is necessary and it does burn calories.
(I still don't like it)
I love reading your journal, you are such an inspiration to me.
Thanks for visiting my journal.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 June 2008 01:43 am |
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At 1070 for the day. That's with 3 snacks. I know I need to eat more, but I'm having trouble doing it. I'm beginning to be afraid of being full. If I don't feel a few hunger pangs every day I think something is wrong.
Just what I need - another psychosis.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 June 2008 01:58 am |
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MidgeH wrote: At 1070 for the day. That's with 3 snacks. I know I need to eat more, but I'm having trouble doing it. I'm beginning to be afraid of being full. If I don't feel a few hunger pangs every day I think something is wrong.
Just what I need - another psychosis.
Hey Midge. We'll I am not really one to advise on this but its a little troubling to hear that you are having these type of thoughts. I am glad that you've noticed this and hope you can find some help/someone to talk to before this gets too far along.
On the bright side - did the big bar move yet?
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 June 2008 02:22 am |
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Hi MM.
I was determined not to weigh myself this week, but of course I have.
Yes it moved - today I had to move it to get to 249.75 (that's fully clothed though, with shoes!) I'm wondering if something is going on with my scale. I'm afraid to get a new one, this one has always been so reliable in the past (but it is 15+ years old.)
I think with my "hunger pang" thing I'm just showing my fear of my addict coming out. Which is exactly what I am. (and this is the thing that separates me from those who occasionally overeat. When I try to explain the fact that I simply cannot eat just 1 chocolate bar, I MUST have the entire package of them everyone looks at me like I'm out of my mind.) I am terrified that if I waver from plan I will spiral immediately. I'm not starving myself and I have no desire to STOP eating. but I'm not eating enough and I know it. (I have only had a few days over 1000 cals in a couple of months now.)
The cosmically unfair side effect of this is that I have only lost 5 lbs this month. At my size that should have been more. And to think that it probably would have been if I had eaten more just frustrates me to no end.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 June 2008 03:04 am |
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Hey, well great news on the BIG BAR being gone gone GONE. That's great!!! [Even though you weren't going to weigh in!!]
MidgeH wrote:
I think with my "hunger pang" thing I'm just showing my fear of my addict coming out. Which is exactly what I am. (and this is the thing that separates me from those who occasionally overeat. When I try to explain the fact that I simply cannot eat just 1 chocolate bar, I MUST have the entire package of them everyone looks at me like I'm out of my mind.) I am terrified that if I waver from plan I will spiral immediately. I'm not starving myself and I have no desire to STOP eating. but I'm not eating enough and I know it. (I have only had a few days over 1000 cals in a couple of months now.)
The cosmically unfair side effect of this is that I have only lost 5 lbs this month. At my size that should have been more. And to think that it probably would have been if I had eaten more just frustrates me to no end.
It must be hard to deal with that fear, but somehow the "rational you" must prevail in this battle. It seems to me that all of us on CPH have themes that run through our lives...fear or insecurities that don't just affect us in the food arena. I've learned a lot about myself and how fear-riddled I am, my 'fear of failure" is a key motivator that has kept me going with my weight loss. I thought you did great recently in confronting your anxiety over your ex and also having a good successful food night on your birthday. I hope you give yourself as much credit for your 'good days' than you do for the rare slip ups. You are human just like all of us.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 June 2008 12:26 am |
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So I went out to lunch today - and ate way too much! I can't seem to hit a happy medium.
Breakfast: toast & promise (180)
Snack: Banana (100)
Lunch: Back to a restaurant I love - tomatoe bisque with little cheese bread, chicken panini with small side ceasar salad. I obsessed about this afterwards and calculated it out at 1100 cals - Yikes.
1380 for the day.
I said yesterday that I failed at not weighing myself, so might as well cop to weighing myself today. I bounced down to 248, I expect to bounce back up to 250 tomorrow. I had a nightmare last night that I woke up on saturday weighing 300 lbs then had to go get on the plane. Of, course that's not going to happen - but it's how I feel!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 June 2008 02:07 am |
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Hi everybody. Feeling better today - I didn't spike like I thought thank goodness. And I'm getting excited about my trip! I'm hoping the flights go well - if they do I should get to do some fun stuff on Sunday.
Food today:
Breakfast: toast & promise
Snack: banana
Lunch: Qdoba Naked taco salad. Boy these are good. (they went a little heavy on the chicken though - I'm counting it at 400 instead of 350)
Snack: Kashi Bar
Dinner: Chicken Skewer (I had 2 to increase my cals - only 260 cals instead of 130) and peas.
Total for day 1130. Looking at what I ate how could that not be enough food? grains, veggies, fruit and lean protein. I could eat another fruit I guess.
Hope everyone is having a good day. I'm off to read some diaries!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 June 2008 04:01 am |
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Ooooh I am hoping you have some fun!!! Have a fantastic trip Midge!!
I hope you find some healthy food along the way. My last intercontintal flight I was seduced by beef, gravy, and mashed potatoes for dinner. It was really really yummy but if I'd have brought along something healthier (yogurt, fruit, turkey sandwich, etc) I probably wouldn't have arrived feeling so bloated and yucky.
Here's to a great time!!!! Cheers!!!!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 June 2008 01:25 am |
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Last post before my trip!
Today I somehow weighed in at 247.5. I don't expect it to stay. Whatever
Food today
Breakfast: toast & promise (180)
Snack x2: Grapes (200)
Lunch: Big salad w/chicken (350)
Snack: Kashi Bar (140)
Dinner: roast beef subway on wheat w/veggies, mustard and a smidge of lite mayo (I removed 1/2 the bread) - (250)
Treat: Small dairy queen vanilla cone. It's so hot here today so this was very good. (OK, OK - I got the one dipped in chocolate. Which apparently adds 100cals! I don't know, didn't seem like much chocolate to me - 330 cals)
That puts me at 1450 for the day. That's OK. I have to stop being so afraid of 1500.
Tons to do - packing awaits. I'll talk to everyone when I get back!
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 June 2008 02:18 am |
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Have a fantastic trip!!!!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 June 2008 05:31 am |
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Midge wrote:
Another entry in the Success Other than Loss category
Midge, we used to talk more about that...........Skipperdox got us going on the phrase "Non Scale Victory" or NSV's
 Congrats on the NSV's!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 July 2008 04:51 am |
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Hi everybody. i'm back! (seriously, I got home 45 mins ago, I'm jet lagged out of my mind but here I am, I got my computer booted up before I even took off my shoes.)
Travel log part 1: in a pinch lipstick can double as blush
I put off packing far too long and am sure I forgot a couple of things (found out later it was my thing to work remotely from my laptop - brilliant)
I intended to write down what I ate during the trip - but gave up on that before my first flight to denver was done. Before getting on the plane to Denver I found out my plane to munich was delayed. I was actually happy about that - I only had 45 mins to catch it. But, when I got to Denver 30 mins late all the signs said the munich flight was on time. I RAN full out, with 40lb backpack, to catch it 2 terminals away. I made it (about 3/4 mile) in 9 mins only to find that no, it really was delayed.
I went and had a yummy salad at an airport restaurant. Got on the flight to Munich OK. 9 hours later land in munich (god I hate economy - the food was disgusting.) and wait, and wait, and wait for my bag to come out on the carousel. Guess what? LOST! I packed extra undies, but my carryon already weighed a ton! I had a couple of cosmetics and deoderant and that was it.
Then, I go to meet my driver, but I was so long in the lufthansa office that he left! I called the taxi office, got a lecture about calling (I maintain that they should have paged me) and am told I am on my own. Good thing I'm not one of those people who panic in strange cities. I get myself to the S-Bahn (subway system) and manage to navigate down to the station closest to the hotel and walk there from the station (.6 miles) I check in. drop my little bags and head back to the train and take myself to the city center. Lesson to pass on - never attempt to sight see on Sunday in Munich everything is closed! I did manage to have a pretzel as big as my head though. (also everywhere was packed with young drunk guys because of the world cup. I walked for about 90 mins then headed back to the hotel)
Back to the hotel where I wash the clothes I am wearing in the sink and hang them to dry. Hope to god there isn't a fire because the towels only go part of the way around me.
Good news - I walked at least 3 miles the first day, maybe more. The bad news - this trip is going to be a carbohydrate minefield.
Back later with more! (On the weight front I have gained at least 5 lbs. Not happy about it, but not that devestated - I was expecting it.)
Last edited on 5 July 2008 03:44 pm by MidgeH
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 July 2008 11:25 am |
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| Can't wait to hear more! Glad to have you back!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 July 2008 04:16 pm |
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Travel log part 2: I like to think I'm worldly but I'm really just a bumpkin
Monday morning I finish drying my clothes with the hairdryer and then walk to the office. (it's right next to the train station) I'm wearing my black adidas workout pants, a pink t-shirt and my converse workout shoes. Why, it's EXACTLY the first impression I wanted to make! Not only that, but I have no idea what time to be there, but because of jet lag i was up early and got plenty of sleep. I show up at 8:15 because I am still on american time. I'm too early, which apparently is simply not done. Whatever. I work here - i can show up whenever i want. Turns out my VP is there. He works 1 floor above me in St. Louis - I wonder if they lectured him about being so early too. Somehow I doubt it. (My being lectured by various germans will be a theme of the trip.)
The day goes OK - everyone there is very thin. I begin to study how they eat vs. how I eat. Lunch in their cafeteria is nothing buy sausages and carbohydrates. I manage to have some mixed veggies (it's a cafeteria - they were once frozen) and some rice-pilaf type thing. I avoid the sausages. Everyone else has them. They eat 3x more than me. Everyone will eat that much more than me at every meal the entire trip. Everyone else will be thin and fit.
I go out to dinner with a group of people - my luggage arrived! Yea! I put on a new dress and sandles and feel pretty good. It's a gorgeous restaurant - I have the weiner schnitzel, but it's haute cuisine schnitzel. Very good. I do not make it back to the hotel until 11:15. Long day.
I'm beginning to notice some things. All the people I am with this week are more successful then me. They have better jobs, make more money, take fabulous trips, have successful relationships and children, and are far better at conversation then me. They are all thin and fit. Huh. There has to be some correlation there.
One other thing - with only a couple of exceptions I can't stand any of them. One thing you may not know - people in upper HR management secretly hate people. They are judgemental and elitist. And they don't realize it - it's just an amazing amount of of either self absorption or self preservation. It's part of the reason why they rise through the ranks and I don't - they know how to work the politics and they are good for the company's bottom line. I'm really just a blue collar kid who gets to sit at the adults table occasionally.
I am so out of place. Munich so far has been pretty morose for me.
REALITY: I weighed in today at 253. That's a 6 lb gain. It's also TTOM so that might be a contributor. Mostly it's the carbs though (bread at least 3x a day and lots more sugar than I should have had. )
GOING FORWARD: I'm pretty much treating today as a new start. I needed to change a lot of things about how I was eating, now is the time to do it. we'll see where I am in a week.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 July 2008 09:32 pm |
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Travel log part 3: things can't really get worse... wait, I shouldn't have said that
Tuesday was spent traveling to the office in Poole, UK. Everything went OK - I had to dip into my emergency trail mix mid afternoon because we hadn't had a proper lunch.
Dinner was at the hotel restuarant. The hotel was a lovely place situated on the water in Poole, the restarant was also wonderful.
The UK is where my eating got off track. English breakfast does me in each time. Then they always serve white bread sandwiches and fried sausage things for lunch, then the multi course dinners. Plus I can't resist the way they serve hot chocolate. <sigh> I went into carbohydrate overload. I did eat fish 3 nights in a row and walked each evening along the coast, but I'm sure this is where I gained most of my 6lbs.
The over indulging in biscuits is not the real story though. The real story is that wednesday night I noticed my face turning red and by thursday morning I had a full blown case of hives. Oh, lovely. I'm sure it's from not having my face soap for 2 days and having to wash with god-knows-what. <groan> I spent 3 days looking like the elephant girl!
On the way home I hit the Harrod's duty free food halls and bought way too much stuff. I plan on giving most of it to my parents, but the clotted cream shortbread is calling to me. I will resist!
As I sit here now, prescription cream on my very red face, I realize that - although the business part of my trip went fine - my trip can be broken down to damp socks, mean natives and more carbohydrates then 1 person should ever consume. I did have an other wise good time in the UK though - beautiful location, lovely people and I love the weather there (even the damp winters. I should probably live there, I hate heat.)
So what can I put down as victories? Well, I did a lot of walking. Although I've gained, I never really gorged on anything. I chose fish over red meat more than once. I wore my new clothes all week - all in smaller sizes, and today they still fit me.
And finally, today the turkey burger is ready to go and the veggies are roasting in the oven. I'm back to normal.
Last edited on 5 July 2008 09:32 pm by MidgeH
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 July 2008 11:23 pm |
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Interesting article
http://health.msn.com/health-topics/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100205713&page=1
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CrimsonAnimus
Moderator
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Posted: 5 July 2008 11:47 pm |
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Welcome back, Midge.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 July 2008 07:57 pm |
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So today I weighed in at 249.5. That's only 2.5 more then I weighed when I left - I knew I hadn't been that bad during my trip. Must have just been plane bloat. Thank goodness. 2.5 I can deal with better.
food today (so far):
Breakfast: 2 pieces wheat toast, 1 poached egg (3/4 yolk removed), little butter on toast, 2 pieces canadian bacon. (270 cals)
Snack: 1 short bread biscuit (65 cals)
Lunch: Qdoba naked taco salad (350 cals - god I love these things.)
Dinner: Will be turkey burger, aspargus & 2 tsp olive oil (275 cals)
Snack: Will be strawberries (50 cal)
Total 1010. I need a few low cal days. I may add another fruit between lunch and dinner, I'm not sure yet.
Oh - 1 NSV I forgot to add above - I did not need a seatbelt extender at all during my trip. I even had to pull in the slack on a couple of flights. Also, all the tray tables folded down flat. (They used to bounce on my lovely apple tummy. Not anymore!)
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Beckster
Senior Member
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Posted: 7 July 2008 03:58 am |
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MidgeH wrote:
One other thing - with only a couple of exceptions I can't stand any of them. One thing you may not know - people in upper HR management secretly hate people. They are judgemental and elitist. And they don't realize it - it's just an amazing amount of of either self absorption or self preservation. It's part of the reason why they rise through the ranks and I don't - they know how to work the politics and they are good for the company's bottom line. I'm really just a blue collar kid who gets to sit at the adults table occasionally.
Oh Midge, can I just weigh in on this one a little late? I know exactly what you mean. I think they get to the point where they just see people in terms of how much they can get out of them for the least amount of expense. I'm primarily focused on process improvement at my job, not management, but I hear a lot of middle managers bad-mouthing employees for not doing whatever it is they want them to do. But the managers aren't really looking at all the factors that might be contributing to the failure-like whether they've really provided the resources needed to get the job done. It ends up just being an endless cycle of passive aggressiveness. Grrr. OK, I'm done now. Thanks for the rant opportunity.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 July 2008 04:07 pm |
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Well, I weighed in this morning at 247.5. That's -5.5 in just 2 days - turns out I actually did OK on my trip food wise, so yea me!
I had another NSV yesterday. about 8pm last night I realised I had fogotten to eat. Just plain forgot! Now, the not eating part isn't good (I was going to be up late so I went ahead and had a late dinner) but it means that I actually spent many hours not thinking about food! That's a huge step foreward for me.
In other news, inspired by MM, i sent out a couple of resumes last night. I'm not sure I want to leave my present job at this moment, but I'm incredibly unhappy at work. I desperately need to move on, whether that is at my present company in a new position or at a new company. At my present company I cannot even begin looking for other positions until this fall (various company rules). If I leave at this moment, though, I have to repay some tuition assistance I got from the company. Unless I am offered a position at a much higher salary, financially this would be a burden. Early next year this burden will lift though. So, by starting now I'm hoping to prepare myself (by buffing up my interview skills, improving my resume etc.) to be prepared for a hardcore search in 2009. And who knows - I get an offer at a good company with a 20% increase I could jump on it!
I just have to make it through until then. I could go on and on about how I have a boss who I feel humilitated by, a department who thinks I'm their lacky, a company who manages to make subversive comments about how I look every day - but I won't. You get the picture.
Be back later with a food diary for today!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 July 2008 11:56 pm |
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Food diary for today:
Breakfast: high fiber english muffin (110) promise - lite (45)
Lunch: I was at whole foods and got a little piece of tandori chicken and some veggies (220 cals)
snack: 1 oz Brazil Nuts (200)
Dinner: Baked scallops (my own experiment, they turned out great - I'm putting the recipe in that thread - 430) Cauliflower (90)
Snack: will be strawberries (50)
thats 1145 for the day.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 July 2008 12:15 am |
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Midge wrote:
Well, I weighed in this morning at 247.5. That's -5.5 in just 2 days - turns out I actually did OK on my trip food wise, so yea me!
I had another NSV yesterday. about 8pm last night I realised I had fogotten to eat. Just plain forgot! Now, the not eating part isn't good (I was going to be up late so I went ahead and had a late dinner) but it means that I actually spent many hours not thinking about food! That's a huge step foreward for me.
Yeah Midge! Way to go, girl  Doesn't it feel good to know you are changing your habits..........
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 July 2008 12:14 am |
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Well, I weighed in today at 246.5. Vacation bloat officially gone (in only 3 days!) +.5. Excellent.
I'm at 1250 for cals today, or I will be after dinner. I had a hungry day today so I added some cottage cheese at lunch.
The Ex's wedding is this Friday. Tonight I stopped to buy a card (I'm giving money - I simply cannot stomach having to shop for another gift for these people). It was really hard to find one that didn't make me cringe reading it. Every single one was just...ew. Lord am I dreading this stupid affair. I'm sure it's going to be lovely, which of course just makes it worse. <sigh> I really need to stop this - lord knows they aren't obsessing about me!
Do you think it's possible to lose about 75 lbs by Friday? Maybe I should just work on acting like an adult instead...
Last edited on 9 July 2008 12:37 am by MidgeH
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 July 2008 02:26 am |
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Hey Midge!
I am impressed with your NSV's - not thinking about food, and sending out resume's. How I wished I had practiced interviews more before heading into tomorrow. That's very smart and if I dont end up getting the job, I will start going on 'dry runs' externally.
Regarding your ex, get your mindset on like I know you can. You've given this man entirely too much control over your happiness. Its Midge's Liberation Party. I hope you can have fun and just be yourself.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 July 2008 02:44 am |
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Of course you're right Mol. When I get there, in my new outfit, and join my friends I'm sure my mood will improve. I just want this whole debacle over.
Don't worry Mol - tomorrow will go great!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 July 2008 12:16 am |
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Today I somehow weighed in at 244. I'll take it!
Today was an ok food day, totals so far 950. I have another snack coming though so I'll end the day at 1100.
nothing new to report, I needed a few quiet days and i got them thank goodness!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 July 2008 02:53 am |
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| 244! That's great! Woo hoo!!!!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 July 2008 06:54 pm |
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Just a brief check in to say I weighed in today at 242. I must have been holding on to a lot of water for a long time because I have lost 11 lbs in 6 days. That's more then I lost the entire month of June.
It's given me a shot of confidence at least! Now I'm off to prep for the ex's wedding - wish me luck! (I'll check in later!)
Last edited on 11 July 2008 06:55 pm by MidgeH
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 11 July 2008 07:09 pm |
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oooh! that's quite the loss! funny how it works sometimes, huh?
and here's my favorite guy for good luck 
have fun!!!!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 July 2008 05:00 am |
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| Midge, its 11PM and I knew you would not be home yet, but if I was a betting woman I'd bet that you will come online and post an update for us before you go to bed. Can't wait to hear about it....
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 July 2008 06:17 am |
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Well, I'm back from the wedding. And it was booooring.
It was nice to see all my friends including some I haven't seen in a while but it was like every wedding everyone has ever been too. Nice place, OK food, really bad DJ.
I looked #%@&!ed cute though, if I do say so myself.
On the emotional front I think I'm pretty much over it. There was a little twinge of regret during the ceremony when the rings went on, but all of this emotional turmoil of mine has nearly nothing to do with him. It's what he represents in my warped little mind. I'm sure they will go off to their boring little lives and have boring little children and enjoy their boring existance. I wish them luck.
For years he was the only man who ever showed any interest in me, was the only one who I knew found me attractive. We were never a good fit (I had the feeling he sometimes didn't like me very much, and that went both ways) , but it was a very specific relationship. Now I'm afraid I'll never have that again. I've been alone a long time, and I am sick of it. His getting married was just a symbolic death knell for any hope I had of having someone be attracted to me.
So I sit here after the wedding, alone as usual, feeling rather sorry for myself. This has to stop. I know that only I can change my circumstances, and blaming him and his new wife is incredibly unfair. Plus, they couldn't care less (as they shouldn't) it was very obvious tonight that I am no longer even an after thought to him.
Therefore it's a new attitude. This is over, I need to move on and go after what I want and what I deserve. I'll keep you all updated as to how that goes.
Last edited on 12 July 2008 06:18 am by MidgeH
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 July 2008 06:35 am |
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Midge, you are not alone.  Hugs. You are going to be fine, this is behind you now and this is part of your journey. Mr. right is out there, you just haven't met him yet...
What are you looking for in a man anyway?
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 July 2008 06:44 am |
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Hi Mol. Thanks.
Lord, what am I looking for in a man? Maybe that's where I should start, because I'm not really sure.
Probably the one thing I really need to work on is the fact that I deserve to find someone NOW and not based on how much I weigh. (I don't know how many times I've said "when I lose <fill in a number> I'll be able to find someone". That's just BS. Being thinner doesn't make me 'more worthy'. But it's a hard mindset to change.)
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 July 2008 07:02 am |
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You need to let the inner you shine out. You have a lot to offer!
It has to be intimidating to a degree to think about dating when you haven't done much of it. It probably gets harder as you get older. I don't know where I would go to look for a guy. Probably the supermarket. Any guy that does the shopping and cooking would win points with me. Don't you need to go purchase some canned peas?
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 July 2008 07:33 am |
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I weighed in today at 241.5.
Food was spotty. I had a high fiber muffin for breakfast, a few grapes for snack then nothing until dinner. I went out with friends and had a good time. Food wise I didn't do anything stupid, although I did eat too much.
We went to Manggiannos, which is a chain so maybe you have it in your area. Very good food, but a bad place for the carbohydrate phobic. I had 2 pieces of bread (they were small), then I split 1/2 a spinach salad with 2 other people (veeery good) then I ordered the 1/2 order of the mahi mahi. I had 1 forkfull of someones pasta and 1 forkful of chicken piccata. All good. (really good news - I'm developing a taste for fish)
Later we went to a wine bar where I had 1/2 a glass of champagne. I don't drink so this was not the norm for me. Weird thing, I left the house weighing 240.5, I just weighed in at 243.5. How did I eat/drink 3lbs of stuff? That's a little sobering. It'll be interesting to see what that means for the scale in the morning.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 July 2008 09:57 pm |
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Time for a ticker update
url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wZwe1Ah/]
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Last edited on 13 July 2008 09:58 pm by MidgeH
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 July 2008 12:03 am |
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Weight today 240.5.
I woke up this morning with a stomach bug, so I got started eating late. It will be a low cal day.
Lunch: Lions' choice roast beef sandwich (if you have one of these near you this is a good fast-food choice. Ask for it with no butter and it has 270 cals, 8g fat and 170mg sodium. I remove 1/2 the bun so that makes it about 220.) and celery sticks. 225 cals
Dinner: 3oz mahi-mahi pan seared in 1tsp olive oil, aspargus oven roasted in 1 tsp olive oil (280 cals)
That's 505 cals. Maybe I'll have something later, but I doubt it.
In other news I went to the orthodontist today, I'm almost done! They fine tuned my braces after doing a final check list, I go back in 4 weeks and <fingers crossed> at that point we may schedule the appointment to have them removed. Dear god I hope so. I got off easy, I guess, by only having them on for 14 months (in august) but after 1 week I was ready to pull them out of my mouth with pliers!
I'm really looking forward to having popcorn again!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 July 2008 10:36 pm |
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Weigh in today was 239.5. Today I woke up again not feeling well (no, it's not that) so I ate late and have not been very hungry. I was craving carbs though - which is usual for an upset stomach - and did eat 3 shortbread cookies. They did make me feel better, so it's ok because they were medicinal.
Calories today = 540. after dinner it will be 850 or so. Still low, I need to eat more tomorrow definately, but with my tummy and the fact that my teeth hurt today that's as good as it's gonna get.
After all of my complaining in June, July is turning out to be radically different (so far). I basically skimmed right past the 240's and into the 230s. I'm happy about that but it's weird how this whole weight thing works. Maybe I'm just reaping the delayed benefits of my eating in June, but the unpredictability sure does upset the analytical side of my brain.
I'm also getting frustrated at the distribution of the weight loss. My legs are definately thinner, as are my arms. So basically I've got one big marshmallow - my head - sitting on top of an enormous marshmallow - my torso - with a couple of sticks hanging out of my sides. <sigh> I'm sure exercise is the answer for a better distribution.
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CrimsonAnimus
Moderator
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Posted: 15 July 2008 11:01 pm |
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Hey, Midge!
Unfortunately, we often lose fat in some areas more slowly in some areas than others. That's certainly the case for me, and as a result (as mollymoo pointed out to me before), it can make some areas appear larger sometimes.
Thank goodness for clothes and measuring tape, otherwise I would swear my stomach is getting bigger! It's not, however - it's just that my chest and hips are losing fat more quickly, and are making my stomach appear like a "giant marshmallow". LOL
Also, I don't think exercise will really make a difference in where we lose fat first. It hasn't for me. I think it's pretty much just genetic.
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CrimsonAnimus
Moderator
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Posted: 15 July 2008 11:04 pm |
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mollymoo24 wrote: Any guy that does the shopping and cooking would win points with me.
Oooh, does electronics shopping count? LOL
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 July 2008 01:24 am |
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I don't think exercise will really make a difference in where we lose fat first. Yeah, I'm sure you're right. I'm just thinking that I'm losing muscle, not fat and since my stomach is nothing but fat it could only help. I'm just tired of being mushy from the neck down. Darn apple genetics!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 July 2008 02:03 am |
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Weight today 239. Only 800 in, I need to have a snack.
Seven deadly sins/ seven heavenly virtues
In thinking about what I need to work on to become the best me I can, I think this is the best way to illustrate it. Let's start the one I think I may have conquered first.
Sin: Gluttony. Virtue: Temperance
When I started this a few months ago I simply allowed my extremely addictive personailty to work for me for once. Instead of gorging on whatever tempting food I wanted I withheld. I withheld long enough that now I crave healthy variety and have learned that I do not need to go overboard all the time, every day to be satisfied. In fact I now crave that feeling of self-mastery where I have known that I have given my body what it needs, and not given the greedy monster in me what they wanted. And I am able to do this while still enjoying the occasional well-crafted dish. I can LIVE like this.
Because of this I no longer wonder if I can do this, why can't I do this - I know it will just happen as long as I am patient.
I think I'm ready to work on:
Sin: Sloth Virtue: Fortitude
If I made my addictions work for me with food, why can't I make it work for me with exercise? It took about 1 week for me become addicted to eating like I had a healthy relationship with food. I know what exercise does for you. I stuck with rehab for 12 weeks after my heart attack and what it did for me was take an organ that only had 48% functionality and turn it into one that had 95% functionality. And I enjoyed it. Why did I stop? Why can't I start? Why do I lack the fortitude to take this major step in improving my well being? Am I addicted to sloth - or afraid of success?
How to start, what do I need to do? Ease into it or go full out, not allowing for excuses? I didn't allow for excuses with food - I can't with this either. Biggest difference though: I know a lot about food - I know very little about exercise. Ah ah ah, that's an excuse. Full out cardio is what I must do - I must make my body crave it.
Updates to follow. I need to work on the full list. I'm really not looking forward to when I get to Lust.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 July 2008 04:54 am |
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Hey Midge..........loved the marshmallow analogy  It reminded me of Beth........she's complaining about her stomach still being so big.............
I too, tend to check the scale, instead of the tape measure. Thank goodness, I did use the tape measure when I started on getting this weight off! I am going to wait until the end of July and check my measurements again. Thanks for mentioning that Nick
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