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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 June 2008 04:02 am |
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Midge, I take any gain within 2 lbs not so seriously. As long as you are doing the right things its just water and will come right back off. Don't get discouraged! You really have made great progress so far.
Have you used the calculators on this site to determine what is a realistic timetable to achieve your goals? I was bummed when I first calculated that it would take me about 8 months to reach my goal. But it was completely realistic and grounding. Without that sanity check, I would have gotten frustrated pretty quickly. And now that it has been 5 months, I am really pretty far along.
Cheers and hugs, Mol.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 June 2008 04:24 pm |
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Thanks for the response, Mol.
I know I just need to calm down about the whole number things, it's just so frustrating to keep bouncing, up down, up down. I've been somewhere within the same 4lb range for 2 weeks, so I haven't really gone anywhere even though my good eating habits are still in place. I have no explanation for why I am not stable. (Maybe it's water, but it shouldn't be)
Anyway on to better things.
So I'm sitting here watching food-porn, my saturday morning ritual. Paula Dean is on making macaroni & cheese, wrapped in bacon, breaded and fried. I am completely GROSSED OUT. From a fat girl perspective this dish should be making me salivate, instead it's turning my stomach. I'm looking for accomplishments other then the numbers and this is definately one of them.
Not only have I not eaten anything really stupid in the last 7 weeks - I now have no real desire to. I've gone out, I've eaten at home, I've had events at work - and each time I've eaten like a "normal" person (by normal I mean someone with no food-related issues). I have not come home from events and eaten 5 hershey bars, I have not stopped to pick up the equivilant of food for 4 people on my way home from work - and I DON'T WANT TO. I may be freaking out about the numbers now, but the rational side of my brain is telling me that this change in my behavior is what will give me the long term payoff. Pretty cool.
So, party tonight. Parties make me nervous. Thank god I'll know some of the people there. It's being held at great restaurant, but it's not full dinner, just lots of appetizers. Don't worry, I'm sure I will be an emotional mess afterwards and will need to come here to tell everyone how it went and to vent.
I really should change the title of this diary to Crazy Midge's Moans and Complaints! 
Last edited on 7 June 2008 04:25 pm by MidgeH
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Maggie
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 June 2008 04:45 pm |
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Hi there Midge
You have a terrific attitude and don't worry everyone's weight goes up and down by 3 or 4 lbs. Just the body decides when to let a lb go...as long as you eat healthy it will have benefits and the weight will go down. Bravo for you.
About the party, sometimes in these situations I say to myself "I love every single person here" and it does help to take the nervousness off of ones self. Have fun.
Maggie
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 June 2008 07:48 pm |
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I may be freaking out about the numbers now, but the rational side of my brain is telling me that this change in my behavior is what will give me the long term payoff. Pretty cool.
You are soooo right. You rock Midge! Hope you have fun at the party!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 June 2008 06:23 am |
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OK, back from the party.
Mol, I thought about you tonight when I found myself thinking (when I saw the couple giving me the heartburn) "this is what has been upsetting me?". I still found that I cannot relate to them very well, but this is the first time I've actually been able to really look at them without feeling all kinds of anxiety. I just sorta muttered "screw 'em" in my head and got on with the evening.
I felt great in my kicky new sandles and... well... I'm just going to say it... I looked fabulous. I got into my size 20 skirt! (it still had the tags on it. I think it runs kinda big, but I'll take it!) I got lots of what seemed to be sincere compliments. I actually have great friends. They are sweet, kind people who for the most part seem to appreciate me and my acerbic sense of humor.
Now I just need to find a group that has at least a few unattached, straight, men. There wasn't a single one at this function. (none out of 50 people!) HA.
I'm not going to worry about a food log today (I should have eaten more during the day though. ) The food at the party was great, but I ate responsibly (and avoided the deserts entirely.)
Talk to everyone tomorrow!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 June 2008 02:35 pm |
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All right Midge!!!! I was anxious to hear how things went and logged on straightaway to your diary. And your post is full of good things. You looked and felt so good in your new clothes. As Beth encouraged me to get new clothes for work, I've been amazed at how much more confidence I have when I know that I look good. And I am so thrilled to hear that you were able to look at the couple without all kinds of anxiety and moved past that to 'screw em'.  You rock! Forward and onward!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 June 2008 12:27 am |
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Thank, Mol. I'm still a little obsessed, but today I feel a little more emotionally stable.
I did some shopping today and bought a couple of really pretty dresses - in smaller sizes! One looks like something Betty Rubble would wear, it's very cute. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to work up the courage to go sleeveless though (neither has sleeves). Elbow to wrist my arms are actually getting noticeably thinner, but the upper arms... eh, I just don't know. (Question though - can anyone out there actually get the "regular" bangle bracelets on? For years I've walked around jewelry counters trying to get those things over my hands - like today - and they never go. And they are tiny! Monet used to make XL ones, but no one carries them any longer so I'm stuck buying from the tiny selection at places like lane bryant.)
Food has been hit and miss today. I did do something really dumb though. I was running a lot of errands and it was really hot today (my car goes in for air service later) so I was roasting. I stopped and got... I can't believe I did this... a slurpee! I was thinking that it was like a regular soda (they didn't have diet) so I was blowing 150 cals or so. WRONG!!!! I looked them up when I got in and the size I had - not the tiny one, but not a huge one - is a whopping 330 cals! Arrghhhh! I don't even want to talk about the sugar. Dumb, dumb dumb. <sigh> Moving on...
Breakfast: whole wheat english muffin , 1 slice canandian bacon, 1 poached egg with 3/4 of the yolk scooped out and tossed. A little butter on the muffin (always at my parents on sunday) - 260 cals
Snack - Satan in a cup - 330 cals
Dinner - turkey fajitas (4oz ground turkey breast - not the reg ground turkey it's almost as bad as beef -, bell peppers, onion, salsa, 2 tsps of low fat sour cream, 1/2 pkg reduced salt taco mix, 2 corn tortillas) - 355 cals
That's 945 for the day. Still low for the day - thank god - but It's only 6:30 so I might have a snack a little later.
I weighed in today at 253. I was 253 for 2 straight days - I'm hoping this signals me finally getting out of the mid 250s. <fingers crossed>
Last edited on 9 June 2008 12:29 am by MidgeH
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 June 2008 01:06 am |
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MidgeH wrote: Snack - Satan in a cup - 330 cals
Ooops. But you're so funny.
MidgeH wrote:
I weighed in today at 253. I was 253 for 2 straight days - I'm hoping this signals me finally getting out of the mid 250s. <fingers crossed>
Keep it up!!!!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 June 2008 01:40 am |
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Well, today was only marginally better, food wise. At least I didn't drink my stupid calories.
Breakfast - toast & promise 180 cals
Lunch - took visitors out again. I had a burger, but removed half the bun, tomatoes, pickels, onion, mustard and just a smidge of ketchup. And that's it. No, really. I swear I didn't eat the onion rings. Really. Well, not all of them, anyway. Cals? Who knows. I'm calling it 1000.
Snack - (like I needed a snack) grapes - 150 cals
Snack - 1oz walnuts - 180 cals. Maybe I should call this the world's most pathetic dinner.
Total = 1510. Jeez Louise. Still below my RMR though.
Tomorrow will be back to normal eating with some actual veggies (or else!).
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 June 2008 01:19 am |
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Back on my regular eating schedule.
Breakfast: Toast & promise (180 cals)
Lunch: Lean cuisine (230) and the grapes I should have had for snack (100)
Snack: Kashi Bar (140)
Dinner: Turkey patty (like a burger only no burger stuff), roasted asparagus, 2 tsp olive oil (1 on each) (253 cals)
Only 893 for the day, but after yesterday I think I need it. I have weighed in at 252.5 for 2 days now, but today I feel fat again so we'll see what tomorrow brings.
I think I'm eating too much fat. The above had a total of 26g of fat which is 26% of my total. 13g of the fat was certified good fat (the olive oil, nuts in the kashi bar). Well, reading that back I guess it's not too much - maybe I just have left over onion ring guilt! The cure is probably to eat more veggies. Goal for tomorrow!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 June 2008 01:45 am |
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Breakfast: Toast & promise (180 cals)
Lunch: Lean cuisine (150 - really, it was the turkey & green beans one, very low!) and the grapes I should have had for snack - again! (100)
Snack: Kashi Bar (140)
Dinner: Turkey patty (this stuff was expensive - $5 for 1lb - so I'll be eating it till it's gone!), brussel sprouts, 1 tsp olive oil on patty, few sprays of 0 cal butter spray on sprouts (202 cals)
Eeeeks! That's only 772 cals. Ah, well, it's getting a little too late to do much about it. (I don't eat after 8pm and I just had dinner 1 hour ago and I'm still full (well, diet full anyway ))
On the bouncy-bouncy front it might be over-over. I was at 252.5 for the third time today. I could complain about it not going down any more, but I'm not pushing my luck. I'm still not sure what the problem is, but it might be because I'm going through TTOM every 10 days at the moment so my body in general is all wacked out. PCOS really sucks. (Sorry for all the TMI!)
ETA: I just had 1oz walnuts so total for day is 952. Still low, but better.
Last edited on 12 June 2008 02:25 am by MidgeH
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 June 2008 02:50 am |
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| You did good with the veg and nuts and turkey today.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 June 2008 04:20 am |
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Those wicked  , wicked hormones!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 June 2008 01:05 am |
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At 251.5 today. I don't buy it. I've become a complete scale doubting Thomas. I know it's just sitting in my bathroom plotting how it's going to bounce back up to 254 tomorrow and mess with me. We'll see what happens.
 I've posted this in my buddy thread, but I thought I'd put it here too. Tomorrow I go out for chinese - what do you like to eat when you go out for chinese that keeps you on track?
Food today:
Breakfast: Toast & promise (180 cals)
Lunch: Lean cuisine (300) and grapes (100)
Snack: Kashi Bar (140)
Dinner: Turkey patty (Last of it. It was yummy and worth the expense.), brussel sprouts, 1 tsp olive oil on patty, few sprays of 0 cal butter spray on sprouts (202 cals)
Snack: 1 oz nuts (180)
Total 1102 for day. Better. I think I need to add another afternoon snack though. During the work day I find I need to eat every 2 hours, but at night I'm fine not eating after about 7pm. I'll need to figure out some 100 cal snacks to choose from ( I can only have 2 servings of fruit a day if it's strawberries and oranges or something like that - otherwise too much sugar!)
Last edited on 13 June 2008 01:06 am by MidgeH
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 June 2008 03:12 am |
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MidgeH wrote:
Tomorrow I go out for chinese - what do you like to eat when you go out for chinese that keeps you on track?
Honestly - portion control is my #1 friend. But here are a couple of things:
1. Egg rolls. Peel off outside, eat innards only. A little bit of the oil taste will cling to the innards enough for you to be happy.
2. Wonton Soup. Drink the broth, go easy on the Wonton.
3. Our place has small teriaki beef skewers. OK its not lean protein but at least its not fatty or saucy.
4. Be very good the rest of the day so that you can afford the calories. In other words, plan ahead.
5. Look up dishes on the calorie counter to get an idea of cals and portions. If you don't see it here try thedailyplate.com
Good luck and have fun. Keep up the healthy eating Midge, its a joy to read your successes, 1 day at a time!!!!
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Looseal2
New Member
| Joined: | 28 February 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 23 |
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Posted: 13 June 2008 04:10 am |
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Yeah, I definitely agree. Make sure to not have too much of anything that doens't seem to be the healthiest. I like to get the chinese chicken salad with dressing on the side so I can moderate how much I put on and then I can take it home for the next day's lunch as well (without dressing it doesn't get very soggy/sorry if you don't wait too long). I also agree with her when she says it's a joy to read your diary! 
-Lucy-
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 June 2008 04:13 am |
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Thanks for the responses! Mol, I can always count on you. Hi Lucy <<wave>> thanks for stopping by.
I'm hoping they have a few steamed dishes. We shall see. (This is a wonderful restaurant I've been to many times - but the first time since my new healthy life so I never looked for them before!)
ETA - Lucy, I just read in another diary that you are heading for WashU. I go there! (well, sorta. I'm working on a certification at the School of Applied Engineering. Sounds hoity-toity doesn't it?) Are you from StL or moving here?
Last edited on 13 June 2008 04:18 am by MidgeH
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Looseal2
New Member
| Joined: | 28 February 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 23 |
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Posted: 13 June 2008 05:25 pm |
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That's crazy; what a small world!  Ahh...I'm from California, so I'm a little nervous about the weather and all that. We'll see how that goes 
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 04:46 am |
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Don't worry Looseal, the weather here is do-able. First winter may freak you out but at least you won't be here when it's like walking in soup. (StL is basically an island, 3 large rivers dissect us from the rest of the state for the most part so it gets very very humid in summer.)
So went out for chinese. I think i did OK. they did not have steamed diet dishes like I hoped (I guess I could have requested it, though) I ordered a chicken and veggie in light sauce dish. I ate maybe 2-3 cups of it, no soy sauce, no rice, nothing fried and I tried to avoid extra sauce.
Food for day:
Breakfast: Toast & promise (180 cals)
Snack: Grapes (100)
Lunch: I was going to have a lean cuisine, but this one turned out to be sooooo disgusting. I could barely get past the smell. Live and learn - don't get that one again. I tossed it. I had to go to the cafeteria, the only thing that fit was a vegetarian veggie soup. Too much salt but not a big bowl - I am assuming cals (175) and had a few crackers, not many (50)
Snack: Kashi Bar (140)
Dinner: Flowery Chicken (600 cals)
Total: 1245 cals. I can live with that, even if it turns out to be a few hundred more I'm OK.
I weighed in this morning at 250.5. I fully expect to be at 251 tomorrow, so that's 30 lbs! 
Last edited on 14 June 2008 04:47 am by MidgeH
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 14 June 2008 04:46 pm |
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| 30 lbs is a really significan amount. you have come so far! way to go on being in control at the chinese place (chinese kills me every time!)
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 05:21 pm |
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I was just over at Livestrong and decided to look at their action plan section. I added a goal - Lose Weight - and it offered a suggestion. Apparently they recommend that I play polo to lose weight.
So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a pony and see if Prince Charles is available for lessons...
WTF?
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 05:33 pm |
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MidgeH wrote: I was just over at Livestrong and decided to look at their action plan section. I added a goal - Lose Weight - and it offered a suggestion. Apparently they recommend that I play polo to lose weight.
So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a pony and see if Prince Charles is available for lessons...
WTF?
Hysterical laughter. Hysterical because I can't believe the crud that they plan to serve up to us and hope people will stick around? CPH'ers standards are just a wee bit better than that.
Any way, I am thrilled that you've reached the 30 lb mark Midge. And so glad you found us. 
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 08:43 pm |
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Apparently they recommend that I play polo to lose weight.
Hysterical laughter here, too. I am SO going to have to make a visit and see what they recommed for me.  Gosh, I hope it's polo for me, too - I love horses!
Congrats on the 30 pounds!!! You rock!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 10:39 pm |
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Scoobs, they recommend multiple things. For me it was polo, rugby and pet care. Horses, scrums and imaginary pets. I wonder if pet care includes fish. Chia pets? All those spiders that keep appearing out of nowhere? (actually that one probably does count, all my screaming and running and throwing shoes probably burns some cals.)
*****
I've had a bit of an introspective day so far. Numbers, number, numbers going through my head.
The history of my weight running through my mind.
I was 10 when the pediatrician told me as an adult I would never be a normal weight. He, I'm sure, meant it as "If I don't change..." but I was 10. I thought that's just what it was. That same day with my mother at the store looking for pants. Saleslady looking at me from the back: "Maybe you should go to the regular size section." Mom: "Margaret, turn around." Saleslady: "Oh! We can't fit her. " I've always been thicker than wider.
At 13 I had to wear a women's size 18 dress from the JC Penny catalog for my 8th grade graduation. In the pictures I am the big pink snowball in the middle being orbited by my regular size classmates.
I went to Weight Watchers with my mother for the first time when I was 15. I weighed in the 180 range the whole time. Mom lost so much weight my father actually asked her to put some back on (they don't make men like my dad anymore). I remember that at that time they would go around the room and you'd say your change. I never went down. I remember being so hungry and deprived and feeling so awful about myself that I would sometimes just eat salt off my fingers.
When I was 17 I weighed 195. I had to have my prom dress specially made and during alterations I stood next to my best friend while she had her off the rack size 5 taken in and I had to have a "gusset" conversation with the dwarf like seamstress. At least I had a date for prom. In my yearbook one of my other skinny friends told me to stop eating ho-hos. Mean, but she had a point.
At 25 I weighed 225. At my brothers wedding I wore a suit that was the only thing that fit me in the store. I looked about 80 years old.
Around age 31 I got on the scale and it said 311. I weighed myself every day for a week - 311, 312, 311... I didn't get on a scale again for more than 4 years. I did not change my life, I just cried a lot and continued to eat 6 candy bars in a sitting.
Age 35 I got back on the scale and it said 268. Hey, how did that happen? Same scale, hyper accurate (it still is). Guess I'm doing better health wise!
Age 35, 3am, I wake up in excruciating pain, disoriented. I get up, I stumble and fall a number of times getting to the bathroom. While prone on the bathroom floor I wonder why my left arm is numb. I wait it out, it'll pass. Fast-forward 12 hours and I am being told that if they cannot get my heart attack under control in the next 15 minutes they will have to crack my chest open and fix it. They get it under control and for the next week in the hospital I am told that if I had been even 10 years older it probably would have killed me. All I can think is, "but I'm only 35."
2 weeks later I weigh 249. Heart trauma kills your appetite.
6 months later I weigh 280. What, you think a brush with death will stop me?
18 months later I have finally had enough. I hate my body, I hate how I feel, I hate the way perfect strangers treat me because of it, I hate being alone. I cut out all rotten foods. I exercise. I join CPH.
8 weeks later I am staring 38 in the face and I weigh 250. I've lost 31 lbs on my own terms, for my own reasons. In less than 8 weeks I am no longer the same person. Yes, I still have a lot of the same issues, but they are not ruling me, I am conquering them. I feel better, I look better and I am not stopping. Numbers have always mocked me, controlled me - no more.
I am going to kick the number god's #%@&!.
Sorry for the long post.
Last edited on 14 June 2008 10:46 pm by MidgeH
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 11:01 pm |
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Sweet! Rugby & pet care, too!!!!!!!!
Wow, Midge, I absolutely loved reading your last entry. I can identify with a heck of a lot of it. I think I was about 12 when the doctor put me on some sort of appetite suppressants. The old 'you have such a pretty face' thing. Man, I want to kick people's asses for saying that stupid line. 
I was the fattest kid in elementary school until a boy moved our area. YAY! I'm not the fattest. But you know what? They didn't tease the boy HALF as much. 
Oh yeah, I didn't have a prom date. 
But I am so sorry to hear about your heart attack. Thank the dear Lord we didn't lose you!
I've lost 31 lbs on my own terms, for my own reasons. In less than 8 weeks I am no longer the same person. Yes, I still have a lot of the same issues, but they are not ruling me, I am conquering them. I feel better, I look better and I am not stopping. Numbers have always mocked me, controlled me - no more.
I am going to kick the number god's #%@&!.
This says volumes about you. With an attitude like that, there's no stopping you. I am so glad you joined us here At CPH - we will conquer our issues together!
Hey, what is it about long posts today? Something in the air?
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 11:23 pm |
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Oh Midge, that was such an awesome post. We believe in you, but nothing's more important than believing in yourself. Keep kicking butt!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 11:24 pm |
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Scoobees wrote:
Oh yeah, I didn't have a prom date.
My prom date became a monk.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 11:28 pm |
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My prom date became a monk.
You win, mol!
I got engaged to mine, then he broke my heart. Oh, ten years later he married my doppelganger. (at least me at 19) Wonder what that was all about.
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 June 2008 11:30 pm |
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mollymoo wrote:
My prom date became a monk.
Please forgive me for the laughing! OMG, I even snorted on that one.
Last edited on 14 June 2008 11:33 pm by Scoobees
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Looseal2
New Member
| Joined: | 28 February 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 23 |
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Posted: 15 June 2008 04:55 pm |
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Midge, it's great to see the progress you've made! It's truly inspiring. Keep it up!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 June 2008 12:45 am |
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Father's day... barbeque... bleeeeeeeeh... somebody needs to come roll my beached blubber over...
Is everyone in that boat today? Here's the food (if I don't write it down how can I obsess? )
Breakfast: Late - 1 piece toast and 1 tsp butter (sunday is butter day!) - 135 cals
Lunch: None. breakfast was at 11.
Snack: 15 cheese crunchy things I bought at Trader joes and took to my parents. They were baked - 60 cals
Dinner (here we go...): Father's day dinner, mostly provided by my sister of the bringing me cream puffs fame-
BBQ pork - about 6 oz with maybe 2 tbs bbq sauce,
beans - 1/3 cup (These were the vegatarian Bush's so OK),
3 spears of asparagus wrapped fillo with butter and parmesan cheese (Yeah, sounds good, but why do this to a perfectly good veggie?),
1/4 cup potato salad (moms - some mayo, but not much. She makes it pretty healthy. ),
1 small serving cornbread with 1 tsp of whipped butter,
Cucumbers and onions (my contribution to the dinner. A family recipe that I updated to be kinda asian. Cucumbers, red onion, little bit of sesame seed, honey, rice wine vinegar and sweetner instead of sugar. Left overnight they are yummy and 0 fat.)
1 homemade lemon bar ( ! It was very hard to stop myself from having 6.)
Calories are hard to calculate when you don't make the food. I'm saying 1000. (anyone not agree?)
Now I am sitting here feeling bloated and icky. Not because of the cals, because for the day I'm only at about 1200, but I just CAN'T eat 1000 cals at 1 sitting anymore. Bleeeehhh.
The scale said 249.5 today. Guess I'm making up for all the bouncing I did last week. If it doesn't say at least 250 tomorrow, though, I will be shocked.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 June 2008 12:24 am |
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I've been tring to use the Daily Plate to track calories. I'm not sure I like it. Just tracking it in Excel and using the USDA calorie list seems so much easier. I don't know, I'll keep at it to see if it gets less tedious.
According to the daily plate I have only eaten 740 cals today. I added it myself too and they are correct. Guess I'll have a snack later.
The scale said 249 today. And yes, I am shocked. I'm convinced the scale is in on some conspiracy to make me insane. I'm happy it's down, though. Fingers crossed that I continue the steady downward movement.
As of today it is 8 weeks since I've started my new life. I took my 3rd set of pictures, which probably wasn't a good idea. There is obvious change from the first set to the 3rd but I see little to none in the last 4 weeks. I thought these pictures would be a good idea, but is only serving to remind me of how unphotogenic I am. (it is very possible that I am just really, really unattractive - but for now I'll blame it on the photos!)
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 June 2008 01:12 am |
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I've been tring to use the Daily Plate to track calories.
Hey Midge - I just started tracking this morning at TDP. I love it so far...it's the first place I've found that actually HAS the foods I eat. Places like FitDay have always let me down, then I end up having to 'customize' my foods...all that typing...not worth it.
Congrats on the 249!!! Here's to continuing the downward trend! 
I hear you on the pictures. I can barely look at mine sometimes...always thought it was my fattness...now considering unattractiveness...thanks alot Midge! LOL Just kidding! 
Keep up the good work!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 June 2008 01:52 am |
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Hey Midge - congrats on the 249 - that's absolutely awesome girl!
I know you felt bloated after the BBQ but I just have to compliment your total calorie performance that day in the face of BIG temptations. Take no prisoners.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 June 2008 04:47 am |
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Midge...........what an awesome Father's Day. I didn't stop at one bar............but, I took every one of them, that was left in my house this morning.........to the office! Now they are all gone.
You are doing a wonderful job! Just keep thinking "health"! I know you'll keep making progress and reach your goal. Sometimes we take a step back, but as long as there are more steps forward, that's OK We need a bar or treat once in a while, so we don't lose it totally and binge. You showed wonderful control with all that food 
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 June 2008 12:19 am |
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Thanks for all the support, guys! I really means A LOT!
At 1054 for the day. Nothing new to report - I just wanted to make sure I got the number down.
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joyfulme
New Member
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Posted: 18 June 2008 12:32 pm |
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Good morning and thank you for welcoming me to this board.
I have read your journal and you are incredible. This is inspiring and funny, like reading a book but you know it is real life.
Thank you again and hugs to you just for reaching out to me, and for letting me read about your life.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 June 2008 12:18 am |
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Thanks for the feedback joyfulme!
So, in my quest to find things other than the scale to prove my weight loss - today I sat through an entire meeting with my legs crossed! Silly perhaps, but I used to have to force my leg to stay in place or it would snap up and nearly give me a black eye.
In scale news I have been at 248.5 for 2 days now. I'm almost ready to move the big weight on the scale at work! (I would be able to move it now, but I'm not sure weighing myself in my birthday suit at work would go over very well! Maybe when I reach goal! ha)
In food news I simply could not face my lean cuisine at work today. I am completely over those things. I had chicken veggie soup instead. Cals are OK but far too much salt. After dinner I'll be at 1050 for the day.
Tomorrow is another eat out day. I'm FINALLY going to a restaurant here that is foodie heaven. The chef was named one of the top 10 in the country and it's supposed to be amazing. I think lunch tomorrow will be tuna and crackers so that I can eat without worry.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 June 2008 03:34 am |
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WOO THE BIG BAR'S GONNA BE A-MOVING!! Congrats Midge and keep right on going.
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2008 03:52 am |
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So, today I'm back up to 249.5. Well, Happy f'en Birthday to me! (Yes, it is my birthday.)
So, the number god is fighting back. Jackass. The number god can bite me.
So the day went OK. The evening not so much.
Breakfast - english muffin & promise
Lunch - 3oz tuna 4 crackers & a cup of grape tomatoes
Snack - Kashi Bar
I was only at 450 for the day - then dinner at the restaurant I've been waiting to go to for 4 months:
Appetizer - spicy nuts & these fancy cheese things (shared)
Dinner: Apple & Leek soup - YUM YUM YUM. Pork Loin with maple apple glaze & polenta (& this other haute cusine lardo cannelloni - luckily I did not like this because it is cheese warpped in fat. No, really.)
Desert: fancy smore (liquour ice cream, toasted marshmallow, melted chocolate and homemade graham cracker. Yum to the nth degree. I split it with my friend.)
At least I did not waste any calories on some #%@&! bakery cake. Calories - who knows probably 2000 for the day.
I will weigh at least 250.5 tomorrow. Not a good way to start year 38, but it's a helluva lot better than 281.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2008 04:09 am |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Oh man, I don't think I can even remember when I turned 38! The years go by too fast.............so enjoy it while it's here, and make the most of it!
And don't worry about the birthday dinner out tonight Tomorrow is another day, and you can get right back on track in the morning.
SWEET BIRTHDAY DREAMS!
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2008 04:10 am |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIDGE!!!!!!!
Your dessert is making me drool over here! Glad you enjoyed your dinner out!
I will weigh at least 250.5 tomorrow. Not a good way to start year 38, but it's a helluva lot better than 281.
Yes! By a long shot!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2008 04:26 am |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIDGE!!!! Woo hoo!!!!
2000 isn't bad for a special night out at a lovely restaurant, it's something you do very infrequently and it is meant to be sensibly enjoyed. OMG if I could never have a 2000 calorie day, I would have failed a long time ago.
This is going to be the BEST year for you, you are declaring freedom from physical and emotional baggage that's been dragging on you for too long. You are well on your way. You have all the right tools and a fighting attitude, there's no stopping you when you set your mind to it.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2008 02:59 pm |
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Midge,
I wouldn't feel bad about the calorie count..........like Mol said that's not bad at all! I was thinking, it's probably not even maintenance for you? I weigh less than you do (for now ) and my maintenance calories with light activity (before I subtract the 15% reduction) are 2069-2140. So, you were probably under maintenance for the day!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2008 08:20 pm |
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Thanks, guys.
Well, 250.5 as expected. <sigh >
Ok, so I've been thinking about it (OK, OK - obsessing) and I think there are a number of things I need to face.
1. I may be in starvation mode. I know according to all my calorie calculations I should be eating more but I have to admit that I am having trouble buying into the idea that "starvation" mode even exists. It seems so contrary to the whole weight loss process.
2. The PCOS is really messing up my system. I'm retaining and losing water at an almost alarming rate. To the doctor I must go. Yippee (and it will be weeks before I can get there) I've been dealing with this mess for 20 years and I still have no idea what I can do to help this.
3. I need to force myself to exercise. Yes, walking is the best option a this point. <bigger sigh>
So I guess I'll try eating 1675 cals for a while (my RMR - 25% since I am obese) and see what happens. And majorly increasing my water intake for the retention. And walking every day. <enormous sigh>
In other news I went shopping today for clothes for my trip I had to get a few things in size 18! Woo Hoo! Spent too much money, but at least I'll have a few things for my trip next week.
On the food front I have not eaten much. In my defense I was not hungry this morning because of the meal last night.
Breakfast: none
Lunch: muffin pizza - I put this in the kids food thread a few days ago and have been thinking about it ever since (multigrain english muffin, 2 tbls sauce on each side, sprinkle of fennel, sprinkle of basil, 2 tsp parmesan cheese on each side. Bake. ) - 270 cals.
Snack: later
Dinner: later
Tomorrow I meet a couple of girlfriends at the Cheesecake Factory. What, that's a health food restuarant, isn't it? Question to everyone - what do you get when you go there? (Don't worry - I'll avoid the 1000 calorie per slice cheesecake)
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Melbelle5
New Member
| Joined: | 26 May 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
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Posted: 20 June 2008 10:29 pm |
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Yum I love cheesecake factory! They have sooo much good food there! I actually really enjoy the Spicy Chicken Salad, it's one of their weight management salads that are all under 590 cals I think, and they have really good sandwiches too. Everything is really good there basically. And the Godiva chocolate cheesecake is soooo good. If you share of course hee hee...
Happy Belated Birthday too!  Sorry I'm a day late!
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MidgeH
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 June 2008 11:11 pm |
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Stop it, Melbelle! I will not eat cheesecake, I will not eat cheesecake, I have no business eating cheesecake...
Yeah I heard about the salads. I had their Thai lettuce wraps once, they weren't bad. I'm willing to spend some calories there, but that place made me feel guilty even when I wasn't caring about my weight.
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Melbelle5
New Member
| Joined: | 26 May 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
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Posted: 20 June 2008 11:16 pm |
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Haha sorry... I mean their cheesecake is gross and horrible, tastes like dirt on a plate! That better lol?
Yeah my sister had the Thai lettuce wraps once and said they were good. Haha I know, you feel like you gain a pound just looking at their menu!
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 June 2008 05:03 am |
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1. I may be in starvation mode. I know according to all my calorie calculations I should be eating more but I have to admit that I am having trouble buying into the idea that "starvation" mode even exists. It seems so contrary to the whole weight loss process.
I am definitely not an expert (yikes!) and I don't know if there is a such thing as 'starvation mode' either, but I do know there is a such thing as slowing down your metabolism. And it's a bummer! On my way down to goal weight this past August, my weight loss had pretty much stalled out...well, every now and then on my weekly weigh-in the scale would go down 1/2 pound...and sometimes (usually) nothing. It sucked. And there were suggestions from members (thanks Nir) here that I try a sort of 'refeed' plan for a bit in the event that perhaps my metabolism had slowed with all this constant dieting I was doing. Now, I never ever starved myself. I never went under my RMR...nothing bad. It was just the continuous calorie restriction that did it. Of course this scared me...I was inches away from goal...the thought of upping my calories was crazy!
But I did. 100 calories at a time per week...nothing drastic. I went from 1400...to 1500, 1600, and I think I finally stopped at around 1700 in a panic lol. Of course, I was weighing myself like every second in case the scale went up. And it DIDN'T! I was shocked.
I stayed there for a bit...and as soon as the scale budged up a bit and I was no longer maintaining, I slowly did a more reasonable cut in calories.
Well, that was one long-winded way to say I think your idea to increase calories is a good one. I just don't know how to say things short & sweet do I?
Good luck at the Cheesecake Factory !!! We have a member here (OWF) who used to work there...I can't believe the serious caloric values in any of their foods!!!!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 June 2008 10:21 pm |
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Hiya Midge, I really hope you DO get started with some walking. I think its actually easier to 'say yes' to walking than it is to 'say no' to snacking. Hope you are having a good weekend and didn't go to crazy at the Cheesecake Factory.
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