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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 27 March 2008 04:14 am |
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your description, as always, was phenomenal. you have a great way of weaving words, pictures, and metaphors. i absolutely love how you write. i get so very into your posts like the one above, i feel like i am there, that i am looking at those cars rushing by, and i know exactly how you feel...
and it makes me miss the ability to take night walks..
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 27 March 2008 04:42 am |
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Theresa - thanks, you are a very caring person as well. 
missfit - I am sorry to hear about your unhappiness with your new job. From the heart, I hope that somehow it improves soon. I am glad you are enjoying my diary. I write an awful lot! (LOL) but it sure seems to be very cathartic. I don't see that you have a diary but since we have similar BMI's maybe we can inspire each other!
Tonight's workout was short - got home late from work. Got some exercise bustling through the house carrying items out of the den, as we are getting new carpet installed Friday. Then worked on some papers for L, needed a simple will and healthcare directives done before Weds. By the time I got to start working out it was already 10PM. So I just did 10/uppers and 1.75: .5W 1J .25W. At least I did something!
Today I met with the Director who is hiring for the Global Marketing position. I think I can do the job, its not as strategic as I was hoping for but has possibilities. I'd get to work with all the right people and accomplish a lot. I told him I would let him know by next Tues/Weds whether I intend to formally put my name in. Right now I am keeping it confidential while I take some time to question my own motives, find out more about this Director and ensure that I understand his standing in the organization, and perhaps talk to a few confidantes at work.
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 27 March 2008 04:51 am |
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Hey Zen we were posting at the same time. Thanks for the kind words. I don't know where those words came from last night but they just wanted to come out. Don't you just I love it when something like that comes bubbling up unexpectedly.
Why can't you take night time walks?
Last edited on 27 March 2008 04:52 am by mollymoo24
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 27 March 2008 05:11 am |
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william wordsworth said this... its refering to poetry, but i think it's fitting for what you wrote-- poerty- "a spontaneous outburst of powerful feeling... recollected in tranquillity."
keep it up!
and i hope you come to a decision that will really take you to where you want to go.
take care
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 March 2008 03:14 am |
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EQ Test
Got home very late from therapist and dr. appts. today. I've been up and down a lot and while its pretty much due to real stress we are going to go ahead adjust meds to see if it helps smooth things out a bit.
After getting home I had finish moving stuff out of the den. This late I am not going to get a workout in, unfortunately. My bod is craving it. However, working out so late last night I was awake until 2AM and only got 4 hours of sleep.
We had a useful training session at work today. It was about "EQ" which is Emotional Intelligence Quotient - somewhat like IQ, but rather than your brainy smarts it measures your emotional awareness of both yourself and others and how you relate to people. This is a key indicator of successful people and can be just as important as being smart and working hard. Well, we took the standardized test and it told me what I already knew. I have a seriously low EQ, which means I have substantial problems with self awareness, interpersonal relationships, and social skills.
I took it pretty positively as a reminder to work on this. They say you can substantially improve your EQ if you work at it, somehow I just get so wrapped up in work and stress all the time that I forget to simply 'try'. If I would just get it through my head that rule #1 is ".....remain calm....remain calm..." everything in life would be so much easier, it really really would.
So no workout, still @163.5. Didn't eat much all day then had a too-large portion of 'hamburger and noodles" for dinner but at least I stayed within cals for the day.
I think I am going to go to bed and think calm ocean blue thoughts, have peaceful dreams, and strive for a calm Friday in spite of the chaos around me. And don't let others provoke me or throw me off keel, cause I am the only one who can control my own reactions. One day at a time.
Oh, one final note. Planning to go to Michigan house for the weekend. [Too bad I am going to be working on the Hungary workshop the whole time]. The one upside to the SNOW we got today is that it is still fireplace weather. : ) Gotta remember the learnings from last time, and not eat out as much!
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 March 2008 04:17 am |
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MM, sorry you're having such a bad time. I've been thinking about you and I wish you well. The EQ bit sounds like a bunch of hooey to me. Oh well, I guess it keeps the people who come up with all this stuff in business. I don't quite understand the purpose of constantly making people feel they are inadequate.
Don't you think things will be better once you see that L will be ok? You've just got so much going on right now. Hang in there! Please take care of yourself!
Just out of curiosity, what style and color is your new carpet? Now that is exciting to me. Ha!
Take care.
Beth
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 29 March 2008 01:29 am |
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Hey Beth from how hard you work around the house, and your embroidery talent, I am guessing you are a master decorator. The new carpet is a light brown berber and it looks good with our furniture. Thanks for asking. It so nice to have clean beautiful fresh carpet, its like a fresh start! I came home from the office, admired it for about 10 seconds, packed quickly, and said "see ya" - then off to the notary's office to wrap up L's paperwork and get that out of the way, and then on the road to Michigan.
I was glad I left the office early, I was able to take a scheduled conference call from the car on the way up.  The sun was out and the drive up was pleasant and quick. We stopped at the dog park to let the greys take a spin. OMG was it muddy, they are dirty up to the knees and then general splatters here and there (L and I got splattered too). Didn't bother giving them a bath as we're just going to head back over to the park tomorrow or Sunday.
Already ate out for dinner. Had a salad, a margarita  and a 'cajun chicken sandwich', which as it turned out had cheese AND mayo AND a buttered bun.   At least I didn't eat the whole thing and I didn't have lunch today. If I don't go grazing later I am "only" 137 cals over target for the day. Oh the temptations I face up here!
Hoping for a nice long walk tomorrow. Tonight just having a coze with the fire and trying to relax my mind and get the creative juices going. I am having a mental block on this workshop but I've essentially got to finish the first draft by the end of the weekend. If I could just hit on a solid concept the rest will fall into place. Think I will do some surfing tonight and see if I can hit on any ideas on the web.
I am starting to look forward with a twisted sense of anticipation to next week. I guess I am ready to get past a lot of this nonsense and anxiety. Here's the fun filled lineup:
Monday: Be subject to another 'interview' in the AM (my boss now calls this the 'interrogations'  ) and meet with my development coach in the afternoon; arrange for someone to babysit the MIL AND the dogs on Weds. [Just added: bathe dogs - L will have to do this].
Tuesday: Turn in my workshop draft which will be reviewed by the President of the company; have yet another 'interrogation', and make a decision whether to apply for the Global Marketing position.
Wednesday: See my husband safely through major surgery...
The rest of the week/weekend will be needed for BOTH of us to recover.
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 29 March 2008 02:20 am |
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MM, I hope this week will be ok. Do you have a sitter for the pups? When Joe had the heart cath, I put down a tarp and pine straw in my laundry room in hopes Little Bit and Sissy would use it. I think they did. Sissy isn't used to me being gone for too long at a time. They seemed perfectly ok when I got home. I was the stressed one over the situation.
Your new carpet sounds lovely. Don't you love the smell! With a light brown you can change the colors so easily with accessories. I love neutrals. I am not a great decorator. I am having fun. It was all business for me for tooo many years. Now I am getting back in touch with my artistic side I left behind for so many years. I am free but I am poor! Hubby says I have to quit shopping every day. Oh well, I've got the house too full anyway. I love to junk! I am a regular at the resale shops.
Have a wonderful weekend with L and with the pups. You haven't mentioned how L is doing about the surgery. I'm sending good vibes through the airways to both of you. A few thousand miles is nothing to get in the way of good vibes.
Take care.
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 29 March 2008 11:30 pm |
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Beth wrote: I'm sending good vibes through the airways to both of you. A few thousand miles is nothing to get in the way of good vibes.
Thank you Beth. We sure appreciate your good vibes!
Confession - let me get this out of the way - I did go grazing last night, finished the chicken sandwich and had a piece of freschetta pizza. 1679 calorie day. I don't care actually, its just one day and it wasn't too excessive. I just felt bad with no exercise.
I did go for a 3 mile walk with a little jogging today, I was craving it.
I have had a bad sore throat all day, hoping it is not anything cause I don't want to be sick or get L sick right now.
Did some work on the Hungary workshop today, not enough, but emailed my boss and a couple of other people for input and unless anyone gets back with me I think I am done worrying about it for the day.
We love this part of Michigan, but especially one special bluff above one special lake, it feels so peaceful and we are drawn to it. Some day we hope to have a house there but its pretty rare to find one with a decent sized yard for the greyhounds. We watch the new listings religiously and today we went to see one. It is presently a double lot with a house to one side but the owner wants to split the lot and crowd in a new 2nd house for himself. He really doesn't want to sell the whole thing which just painfully irks me...I hate it any time people ruin the landscape by smushing in extra houses anywhere, but especially on "MY" bluff. He's asking a rather unrealistic amount of money for the 1/2 lot with the existing small house which would probably be better off torn down. If we won the lottery perhaps I could afford to offer enough for the whole thing to change his mind...
Gotta go walk the dogs...see ya'll soon!
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 30 March 2008 02:58 am |
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Any one know how many calories are in a Ricola Cough Drop? Cause I am going nonstop through the bag L ran to the store to get for me. Its helping only a little. Darn it. 
My throat glands are all swollen too and my voice is affected. I am going to the clinic in the morning. This is nuts. I am tired too, going to bed early. I haven't been sick all winter, I think I've been generally healthier b/c of eating well and improving my fitness level.
Um, now is not the ideal time to be under the weather, better get better fast. Cmon body, fight fight fight!!! 
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 30 March 2008 04:06 am |
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aw, kick that cold in the you know what  !!!
that really sucks. probably from all of the stress you have been under lately and your body is just rebelling. i hop e you feel better soon. oh, and you shuold try Coldeeze drops. they work really really well. don't taste that great cuz thier full of zinc. the strawberry one is decent. and there;s only 18 calroes per drop!
get better soon, mol!
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b fatnomore
Member
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Posted: 30 March 2008 06:04 am |
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I've been reading the cph threads on and off today, and MM, I've read thru your entire thread. You are amazing you are doing great things under very rough circumstances.
I've taken those EQ...things. From what you've written I'd say more aware than you give yourself credit for. Perhaps you are trying to second guess the right answers. Not to mention the long term emotional juggling act that you have had going on in your life. You must feel like everything you do - especially at work is under a microscope.
Having been tormented in the past, I have found (not that it is very comforting) that tormentors go after you, because a) you've got what they want, b) you are preventing them from getting where they want to go c) whether you know it or not you are showing them up and probably have more allies (sp?) than you realize, and d) since you don't have the good grace to cave just because they are in your life - you keep winning and they hate that. I strongly believe in what goes around comes around, and while they may be getting away with it now it will firmly come back to bite them in the butt, because the only loyalty they have is to themselves. No one will ever trust them and everyone will expect them to move on to other targets.
Not to mention, that while all the things you can't control are happening, you have taken positive control of what you can. You are coming out ahead where it matters - you have a meaningful life outside of being defined by your job. You have your priorities in line - your family and yourself.
I so agree with what Beth said about what people will remember about you. It's how you live and love your life. While they may torment you - they aren't in your core being. If they were you would not be accomplishing what you are. You're good habits are also rubbing off on L sometimes. That's huge; thats making a difference where it matters! so the other thing is how will you look back at what you've done. You are doing your best to manage everything on your terms. You are making all the positive changes you can, and are taking care of the important things.
You have my best wishes for a great outcome for your honey's health. While it may be routine for the surgeon (which is great) it isn't routine for either of you. It's good you can lean on each other and share with each other.
You have a lot of people cheering you on!
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 30 March 2008 10:39 pm |
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Kicked It, Alright Body! Yea Yea Fighter!
Amazing. I passed out early, slept and slept and slept and woke up with only a mild irritation and the swelling in my glands went down a LOT. I am feeling loads better today.
Took the dogs back to the park today and they ran and ran and ran. Exercise is so good for them too. Our girl is very nervous, she's always been afraid of things like sunlight coming through the windows and hides UNDER her bed on sunny days. When she can really run and spend herself a few days in a row you can actually see the tension in her face start mellowing out. Right now she's sound asleep in the back of th SUV and we are nearly home.
Thanks B for reading all my ramblings and for all the supportive things that you wrote. I am struggling a lot but I can't lose sight of the things that are important - I am afraid that I let my priorities get out of whack over time, and it's taking a while to learn a different, more balanced way of thinking about everything.
We're home! Gotta run...
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 31 March 2008 02:43 am |
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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
At least that's what I was reminded of as I walked down the extremely misty streets tonight. No headless horsemen though, no one at all really except a single kid on a bike trolling around on the sidewalk. The park was empty and the swings were hanging still and quiet. It's 40 degrees out. There is no movement.
The mist was hanging in the air and I wore a waterproof jacket and a fleece hat (decorated with penguins) which kept me protected from the elements. I just didn't feel like staying inside and using the treadmill, I like the liberty I enjoy walking places under my own power now.
The streetlights had a halo around them as the light reflected off the mist. Spring has not yet sprung in Chicago and there are still dead leaves in the gutter left over from the fall. The dampness generates a very earthy, natural smell. Makes you almost forget that you are in the city...or maybe that's just the afterglow of a weekend up in Michigan talking. Anyway, it may have been a little nuts to go out in this weather but I found it a very pleasant, quiet, relaxing walk.
Whatever happens the next couple of days, I lived and loved this moment of peace.
Workout 10/10/10 uppers/lowers/abs 1.5W
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Melissa
Member
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Posted: 31 March 2008 07:22 pm |
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Molly Moo,
I am new here and just read through your threads. You are doing so wonderful and you really are an inspiration--you are working through stress, have learned new eating and life habits, and I am just amazed at how quickly you adapted to and integrated both calorie counting and working out into your normal routine. I just had to say that you are great! 
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 1 April 2008 01:41 am |
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Still here, Still Mooing 
Just updated Spring Fling @ 162.5, thats a best guess, I was at 160.5 after work but I don't have my usual heavy yoga pants on (they are in the laundry that L hasn't done - all 4 pairs-yikes) and hadn't had dinner. Still I count that as a 1 pound loss since the last weigh in.
Oh boy things are at a fever pitch, my boss didn't respond to me with feedback about Hungary until 6PM tonight in spite of repeated phone calls and then basically my takeaway is that I've got a lot of rewriting to do between tonight and noon tomorrow. I am about to collapse with exhaustion right now. I am thankful for the support of a wonderful employee at the office who spent an hour brainstorming with me tonight and is coming in again early to help me. I cancelled a couple of meetings (including the 'interrogation' scheduled for tomorrow) and have to work on Hungary and then L and everything else is going to have to go to you-no-where for a couple of days. Don't think there will be any time for a workout tonight - it's already 8:30, I got home really late. Gotta decide to go to bed and get a fresh start very early in the AM, or stay up late. I think bed is calling more loudly right now.
Thanks Melissa, I really appreciate your message! See you around soon!
Mooing at the speed of light.....a very tired Mol
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 1 April 2008 04:32 am |
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MM, is L's surgery Wednesday? Gee, you've hit 160.5. I am jealous, jealous, jealous! Maybe this will kick start me back into action. I ate chocolate tonight. I ate enough to almost make me sick.  I need to do what you are doing and get back with the program!
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 1 April 2008 12:38 pm |
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My new 14P's are loose in the waist (not thighs or rear-end yet). I think it's the ab workout, it really works! I can see the difference in the mirror immediately after, it makes my tummy lay flatter.
I am really getting embarassed by the number of people at work who blurt out in the hallway, in front of everyone, or on the elevator, or in the cafeteria in front of a crowd of people "wow, you look great!". That's how dramatic it is esp. when I wear good fitting clothes. I know it a compliment and I do take it that way but then the little voice inside my head is so ashamed that I was that big for 6 years. I guess the newer people around here don't even know what I really look like under all this F A T so it is a shock to them. But after yet another remark, by our male facilities manager on the elevator this morning in front of 2 other women I just have to say this: ATTENTION BLURTERS!!! MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!! WILL YOU PLEASE RESERVE YOUR MUCH APPRECIATED AND KINDLY INTENDED POSITIVE COMMENTS ABOUT MY PERSONAL APPEARANCE TO A MORE INTERPERSONAL ONE ON ONE OCCASION.
[Visualize blushing embarassed emoticon here.]
OK....back to Hungary now....
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 April 2008 05:42 pm |
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Hey Molly Moo,
Just had to pop in and say that I'll be praying for you and L tomorrow, when he has his surgery! May it all go according to plan!
I was re-reading "Eat to Live" . Have you or L read that? Or "The China Study" ? Both have so much on eating to prevent cancer, or as a survivor. Or, I've also printed out "The Cancer Survivor's Handbook" online. You can go to cancerproject.org and click on "The Survivor's Handbook", then select the option to download PDF, and print it out. Just wanted to make sure you are aware of all your options.
I know your time is precious, but I'm sure we are all hoping you'll take a moment tomorrow, to let us know that all went well with the surgery..........if you don't mind? Thanks, MM, hang in there!
Last edited on 1 April 2008 05:43 pm by Hisgal
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 1 April 2008 09:04 pm |
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Thanks for all your good wishes everyone, we just got the schedule for the surgery and it's at 7:30AM tomorrow. Thank goodness it is early and we don't have to go through hours of waiting in the morning.
I took off work early today, had a quick haircut and then came home to be with L. Except neither one of us wanted to sit home, so we went out to lunch, then we went shopping (I got new sunglasses , new IPod earphones and a car charger for my cell phone). We got back home and both just crashed. He hoisted M up on his lap where she loves to lay, and she won't be able to be again for quite a while. It is so cute, he fell asleep in the recliner, flully extended with his legs out, snoring, with a huge leggy 65 pound greyhound perched up on his belly looking around as if to say "How do I get down now?"
We went for BBQ pork sandwiches for lunch and although I did have a salad and avoided the onion rings and french fries, there were more cals in that sandwich than I would have liked. No matter, I don't think there will be much eating around here at dinner time tonight.
My department did something very nice for me today. First, they gave me an early birthday present because I am going to be out of the office over my birthday. Then they all chipped in and ordered healthy home delivered meals for L and I for next week while he is recovering. They know that L does the cooking and I don't cook and they thought it would be more thoughtful and supportive than sending flowers. How sweet is that. What an awesome group of people.
I feel ready for a nap...maybe I can manage to sleep for a bit. I'll probably be back on later...
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 1 April 2008 09:08 pm |
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Hey, I just noticed - I'm a senior member now!
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 02:11 am |
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Wow-that was really nice of your coworkers! I'm glad you and L got to have a little fun today.
I just LOVE sunglasses. My favorites are my old Ray Ban Wayfarers. I've also got these blue metallic ones I wear when I want to look like the Sara woman in "Terminator." I've been wondering how they will look when I'm skinny and have even more defined cheekbones. I feel especially powerful tooling around in my blue sunglasses in that HUGE F250 truck. I've been noticing the tough guys in their pickup trucks. The other day I went out of a store ahead of one of the T Guys and got to my truck first. (We all have to park way out in the parking lots because the trucks are so long. Plus no one can really park them very well.) Anyway, I started fooling with my stereo. I saw him give me this little sideways glance and I was thinking, "Ha! Mine is bigger than yours is!"
MM, I will be thinking about both of you tomorrow morning. I know you are glad it's scheduled early. Please let us know how you're doing tomorrow if you can.
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 02:36 am |
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Hungary or Hungry? The Difference a Vowel Makes
OK I just emailed to my boss the Hungary workshop outline which will be reviewed by senior management tomorrow morning. I told him, you have any questions please feel free to call me on my cell phone in the morning at the hospital. He won't dare, if he does he will really earn the worst boss award. You think I could have had an extension under the circumstances especially after he didn't get back to me for 2 whole days?  Well I am glad I've got it moving solidly in a good direction and can put that hairy thing out of my mind for a few days.
Hungry is what L is right now since he can't eat. I made a baked sweet potato for myself for dinner (a new favorite food) which wouldn't have interested him anyway. Then I snuck off and ate a bit of leftover cheeseburger where he couldn't see/hear/smell or know about it. Poor guy.
I was hoping to squeeze in a workout tonight but its not going to happen, its too late and I am pooped. I never did get a nap. Bummer, I miss having fairly steady workouts.
Thanks Beth for the good wishes. [I am lying on my not so big tummy on my beautiful new carpet right now, by the way.] I promise I will post a status for you all as soon as I can.
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b fatnomore
Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 04:02 am |
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I love your Sleepy Hollow description!
I'm praying you have all the best results tomorrow (today). I suppose pacing burns calories ---
Happy and healthy times are on their way - the best is yet to come!   Last edited on 2 April 2008 04:06 am by b fatnomore
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 2 April 2008 04:44 am |
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you are probably very much asleep by now, but i wanted to wish you the best and i am sending good vibes and happy thoughts your way! take care and know that we all really care about you and L!      
 (he's my favorite and always makes me smile!)
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OzScotty
Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 05:17 am |
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Hi MM,
I am pretty new to this forum and have just read through your diary. I want to wish you and L all the best. I hope that you soon have some good news to report.
Scott.
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Theresa
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 07:39 am |
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| Just to let you know our thoughts are with you and L and I hope that all goes well.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 02:30 pm |
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Man, I love the people on this site! Don't ever go away.......how much would we miss this in our lives???
MollyMoo............just checking in to let you know I've been praying for you and L all morning. My prayers for you are for the patience you'll need while you wait for the surgeon to come out and tell you all went great with L's surgery and for the strength you'll need afterwards, to love and support L as he recovers, yet face things going on at work. My prayers have also been for the surgeons, anesthetist, nurses and anyone else involved in the surgery......that they are doing their job to the best of their ability. And of course, for L, that his surgery goes great........the absolute best it can........and that he has a quick recovery!
I sense you don't believe in the power of prayer in your life, (and I hope that will change), but I have seen it work miracles all my life, so I believe, and I am praying for you and L! I know God doesn't always answer our prayers the way we want Him to, but I hope this time He will! May the sun be shining on you and L today! We are all rooting for you, in our own ways.
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 04:33 pm |
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Hi all, wow, you guys are great. I was a little overwhelmed when I saw all your messages of support. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to each and every one of you for caring and posting and as Pat says "rooting for you in our own ways". It means so much.
I'm in the waiting area now and was having a difficult time reading my book from lack of sleep, so I thought I'd jump online. The conveniences of modern technology. I got my first update about an hour ago and am a bit less stressed knowing that everything is OK at this point. He's actually been in surgery for about 2 hours now. They are running far behind due to some complications with the pre-op earlier. Please keep sending all those good thoughts our way and I will post again later.
Mol
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 06:43 pm |
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1PM update: Things are going along fine, but they can't predict how much longer. I am doing fine here, although 2 1/2 hours between updates had me climbing the walls for a bit. Family and friends are checking in occasionally on the cell phone, and just trying to stay occupied.
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 07:01 pm |
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MM, hang in there. We're all thinking about you and sending you those good vibes. Take care.
Beth
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 11:14 pm |
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The latest update is that the surgeon didn't finish with L until 4PM and L didn't get to recovery room until 4:40PM. The earliest I could even hope to see him is in 45 more mins. There is increased risk of clots/stroke with being under anesthesia for so long and I am understandably very anxious to see him getting up and moving soon.
I wasn't planning to spend the night at the hosp but with things getting complicated my friend S has offered to take care of the dogs for the night. We may be here a lot longer than we thought. Everything is more complicated than was expected, in spite of us having done all the homework - it took 40 minutes to get an IV in in pre-op, then there was something with the intubation, and then after he was under, they became worried that the table wasn't going to hold his weight and had to go get another table and deadlift transfer him. [Um, who was sleeping on the job with that one?  ] This was all before they even started the procedure, which the surgeon stated didn't really get started until around 10:30. That's 2 hours and 40 minutes after he was wheeled from pre-op to the O.R.
The surgery itself took longer because they found 'humungous' lymph nodes which had to be removed to get at the prostate. Surprise! Now need to be biopsied, results in a week. Wasn't expecting that. Trying to avoid black thoughts of the worst, it could be something else or nothing at all.
From the beginning this supposed to be a cake walk in terms of catching it early, non-aggressive, not having spread, 1-2 days in the hospital - I have to keep positive that everything will be OK. Everything WILL be OK. Everything WILL be OK. I can't wait to see him, I hope he bounces back fast. Will post again when I can.
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 11:23 pm |
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| What a day! Maybe poor L will sleep all night. Maybe you can get a little rest, too. Sorry you have to wait on a biopsy. How nerve-racking.
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 11:29 pm |
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Sending positive thoughts your way, girl! Just like you said - everything WILL be OK. Hang in there... and because he's Zenobia's fave and is good luck. Hope you're able to get a wink of rest.
Scoobs
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AzGirly
New Member
| Joined: | 6 March 2008 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 2 April 2008 11:48 pm |
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Oh hun, I'm so sorry you and L are having to go through this. I just want you to know that you have been in my thoughts. You both will get through this!!! Big hugs girly!! Hang in there!! You are such a strong woman.
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b fatnomore
Member
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Posted: 3 April 2008 12:54 am |
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Hope you've gotten some rest with all of this going on. Just when you think you're at the end of the rollercoaster ride you find out it's going back up again!
Hang in there, I wish I could give you a big hug, and take away the worry.
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 3 April 2008 01:27 am |
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oh mol we are all so with you and L in thought and spirit. please just have faith that everything works out in the end. try to get some rest and don't dwell on icky stuff. postivie thoughts breed positive energy and you definiatly need as much positive as you can get right now. we are all sending it to you both!!! be strong, mol! i know you are! and we will be strong for you both, too!!!
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 3 April 2008 02:15 am |
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We're doing better now. I knew things were on an uptick when at 6:40 they said I could go in, he wanted to see me and 'his IPod'. He was doing pretty well, except his arms are in intense pain it is apparently the position he was in for so long. I guess he was screaming the F word from the pain when he was first waking up and the nurse told him 'We need to use our INSIDE voice'.
Anyway we are in a room now and he is finally resting, in a haze somewhere between wakefulness and sleep. He was wanting to get up and go for a walk which he is supposed to do to prevent clots, but it is shift change and the nurse seems to have too much on her plate. I am not going to wait very long before I go track her down.
I have to say that this laproscopic surgery is nothing short of amazing though. I mean, there is no big incision, just 5 small sites and 1 additional site for a drain tube. Healing time is going to be so much faster this way!
I haven't told L about the lymph nodes yet, seems to not be a good idea when he needs to focus tonight on just recovering, and walking. Tomorrow I will tell him, or perhaps I will just let the surgeon tell him. I hate the fact that it takes a week to find out the results, I wonder why that is.
Anyway THANK YOU everyone for your support and for checking in, it really means a lot.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 3 April 2008 02:57 am |
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Mol,
Sorry to hear it didn't all go as smoothly as planned.  Glad L is out of surgery though, and you've gotten to see him.
I had a breast lump removed about 6 weeks after my mother died of cancer.......you know what I was thinking, right? And I had to wait over a week for the test results! I also thought it was ridiculous that it took so long!
Just know we will be waiting with you..........
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 3 April 2008 01:46 pm |
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I am really glad I decided to spend the night with L. He's still in so much pain in his shoulders they are having to give him some pretty strong medication just so he can rest. I guess it is not uncommon for this. It's not just from his position in surgery although that is part of it. Apparently the CO2 they use to pump up the abdominal cavity so they can do the laparascopic procedure can get trapped in the diaphram -the bigger the guy (L), the bigger the diaphragm - plus he was out for so long there was a lot of anesthesia - all adds up to an extremely unusual amount of pain. It will go away over time but it was really bad this AM and he was shaking from the pain, now he is really drugged up and sleeping lightly.
It's also been a challenge to get nursing staff to get him up and get him out of bed - he's only been up once so far, at midnight. We've been asking since 7 this morning to get him up for a walkabout but the nursing staff's been going thru shift change and keep telling us to hang on. Since he can't use his arms to pull himself up or to hang on to anything it takes two strong, assured people to saftely walk him. All I know is that the surgeon said that he is supposed to be up and walking to avoid clots, so if he is not out of this bed by 9 I plan to stop being nice about it.
The good news is that all of his other key recovery indicators are looking good! He's still on water and has had a little bit of jello but with all the pain med that's all that makes sense right now.
This hospital, I have learned, has a Starbucks and I was very happy to get a cup about an hour ago. I also had most of a piece of marble loaf.  I really need to get some exercise though. I think I will be able to go home later today for a bit and if I am not too tired I can jump on the treadmill then.
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 3 April 2008 02:12 pm |
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I've experienced most of what you've described with Joe (and me.) You'd be amazed at how staying in one position for a long time affects us. Plus all the other invasive things they do to accompany surgery. This is why I've elected to try my best to get healthy and stay out of the hospital forever if at all possible. I think it really is true that if you aren't sick when you go to the hospital, you will be sick when you leave. Both of you. Hopefully you can go home fairly quickly and get back to some comfortable furniture, uninterrupted sleep, and healthy food.
When Joe had his last cath I took a rolling suitcase full of my very own food and creature comforts, including sanitary wipes. I think taking my very own food and a neck pillow enabled me to function a little better through it all. I even had some crackers for Joe when he got back to his cubicle. Even then I had to go and buy his dinner because they forgot to send him any. Go figure.
I know it all seems horrible right now. We have to start looking at the pluses. At least the surgery is over and soon the waiting will be over and you will know the course of treatment. I hope you can get some rest. L will be ok for now, as he is getting the good drugs. I always said they need to provide something for the families!
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 3 April 2008 04:01 pm |
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L was able to get up and walk 2 laps around the floor. The nurses came shortly after my last post. He improved quite a bit with the walk, plus they've really loaded him up on pain meds. He's off the O2 now. I also talked to his surgeon's nurse and she advised some exercises he can do with his legs while he is in bed. I think we'll aim to get him up walking again around Noon. I know I am a worrywart by nature but I sure as heck don't want to be sitting here in a day or two blaming myself saying 'boy I wish I'd pushed the nurses harder to help him and maybe he wouldn't have had a stroke". Prevention is the best medicine.
All's quiet and good right now. Maybe I can even take a nap for a bit, that would be lovely.
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Maggie
New Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 161 |
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Posted: 3 April 2008 04:34 pm |
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Hi Molle
Glad to read your husband is out of surgery and starting to feel better, the waiting for results is always the hardest.
Remember you have to take care of you as well. I lived in the hospital for about a month when my husband was ill. Had a room on the bottom floor which was there for the use of the family of critical ill patients.
It is too soon for you yet but hospitals are a good place to exercise. They have lots of stairs and long hallways for walking. Even outside go walking for a block or two. You will be refreshed when returning to your husband's room.
Wishing you both the very best.
Maggie
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b fatnomore
Member
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Posted: 3 April 2008 11:07 pm |
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I'm glad to hear that L. was able to get up and walk!! That must feel great for both of you. Keep up the good work! Fabulous obout the O2 too![url=javascript:emoticon('', 'images/emoticons/we_star_shooting.gif')] [/url]
I was a worrywart when I was in the hospital taking care of different family members, but I was their advocate that ws my job.It also helped me cope. It's hard, but I found when a nurse said they'd get back in a little bit, I'd say ok, I know you get very busy, so if you're not here in about 20 minutes I'll come to the nurses station ok?
I also found out where they kept routine things - extra blankets, towels, the kitchen (for ice & water or juice and jello)and got them myself instead of having to wait - I'm the impatient sort. One thing one of the aides did was warm up the wet wipe towels they would use - it was very soothing for the patient.
You are probably getting advice from all corners. But keeping active, both you & L is some of the best medicine![url=javascript:emoticon('', 'images/emoticons/fa_apple.gif')] [/url]
We're all rooting for you!!![url=javascript:emoticon('', 'images/emoticons/xa_heart.gif')] [/url]
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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