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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
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| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 9 August 2005 05:45 pm |
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I've been on low fat since July 18,05. My kids,the mirror,and my clothes say I've lost lots,but the scale and my husband say I'm as fat as ever. I can't enjoy the new me that's emerging,cuz my husband and scales won't let me.
I've no idea what my true weight is. I only know that my kids are so proud of me now,and my clothes are now baggy on me. My success is bitter-sweet,cuz my husband is doing all he can to make me give up and return to that fat way of life. I refuse to give up. I've come to far to throw in the towel. I won't do it.
Lolli 
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klunger
Senior Member
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Posted: 9 August 2005 10:32 pm |
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| I think some husbands don't want their wives to lose weight because they don't want anyone else checking them out!! Good luck to you!
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 10 August 2005 02:36 am |
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My husband started out very supportive of my efforts to lose weight,but now that my figure is making a comeback,my husband is enraged. Now he's trying to make me give up. He thinks I'm going to leave him for another man after I'm slender,cuz my sister started cheating on her husband after she became slender. My husband thinks I'm going to do the same thing. 
Lolli 
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Corina
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 August 2005 06:49 am |
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I agree! I haven't lost enough weight yet for my husband to be worried... He's pretty supportive right now, but I'm wondering what's going to happen when I reach my weight loss goals and I look pretty fine.
What do you think us gals should do? Say, "Look it's my health I care about and I don't want to sabotage it. I want to live a long and healthy life. Do you want me to have a higher risk of heart attack, and disease? Do you want to pay thousands of money to the hospital when I get old because I'm not healthy?"
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 10 August 2005 07:11 am |
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I threaten my husband with medical bills. Rather than have to pay for my medical bills,he snaps out of it,but only temporarily. Its like he's jealous of me slimming down,and he feels threatened. He's also a control freak.
Your husband may stay cool with you slimming down. I hope so.
Lolli 
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oo_la_skye
New Member
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Posted: 10 August 2005 10:41 pm |
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I dont have a husband, but my Moms husband likes her to be fat and is VERY controlling, I know it's because he doesn't want other guys looking at her. Since they got married a year ago she went from 120lbs to probably about 165 on a tiny 5'2 frame. Now she's starting to work out and they've been fighting more my little sister tells me. It's quite weird.
But not everyone is going to be supportive of us, and we just have to conquer those people too and not let them stand in our way. You're doing it for you not him, so hopefully he'll eventually get the point and back off. You deserve this! Way to go.
<3 Skye.
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 10 August 2005 10:52 pm |
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| Its like when a man marries a woman,he thinks he owns her,and has the right to control her and run her life. That's bull!!! I run my own life and do as I please. This makes for lots of nasty arguments with my husband. I think he wants me fat,cuz he thinks he can control a fat woman easier than a thin one. I refuse to be controlled. He can call me a womens' libber all he wants. I'll never submit to him. Never.
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oo_la_skye
New Member
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Posted: 11 August 2005 02:47 am |
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| Sounds kinda like a jerk. You go girl! I would never submit either. That's just retarded. Anyways just get yourself all hot and he can suck it up. Go you! <3 skye.
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 11 August 2005 05:55 am |
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I used to be a hottie,ages ago. I am determined to be a hottie again. I am definately on my way,and hubby can't stand it. Oh,well,its his problem,NOT mine.
When hubby first meant me I was a little fox. So,he knows how fine I can look. He contributed hugely in fattening me up. Now that I'm losing the excess weight,he never comments on it,other than to down-grade me. He's definately a jerk.
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 12 August 2005 04:24 am |
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Thanks so much Peter,for placing my pic under my name. It looks real good.
Lolli ;)
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nee
Senior Member
| Joined: | 25 June 2005 |
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| Posts: | 45 |
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Posted: 13 August 2005 10:11 pm |
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| He's not just a jerk; he's abusive. So why do you stay with him? And don't think I'm just another person who doesn't get it asking why you don't leave, because I've been there and done that and got the T-shirt. It says, "Bye, Monster!" Life's too short as it is, without battling a monster and shortening it further.
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 14 August 2005 12:27 am |
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| Its a very sticky situation. He's not always a monster,but when he is one,he's very abusive mentally,emotionally,and verbally. I can't move in with my parents. My sister and her children just moved in there. There's no room for my children and me. I can't afford a place of my own. so for now,I'm stuck. :? :? :?
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Dave Brown
Senior Member
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Posted: 14 August 2005 06:16 pm |
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So what does your husband eat? It could be that the food he choses to eat makes him irritable and abusive. Apparently he wasn't that way when you met, courted, and got married.
Interesting thing about falling in love. There are biochemicals released into one's bloodstream that produce a feeling of well being that lasts for a about a year, on average. After that body chemistry returns to baseline. Sometimes a person who starts out slightly depressed gets an emotional lift for a while but eventually returns to (his) normal emotional state and turns ugly. Perhaps that is your husband's problem. On the other hand, he could be a self absorbed individual who needs a new heart attitude to be able to love and get along with his spouse.
Here's a definition for love. Love is that which causes one person to desire the most good to come to another and is willing to do whatever is necessary to bring it about. Do you love your husband in this way? Does he love you? If not, I would urge both of you to try to learn how to love each other in the giving, selfless way.
Dave Brown
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 14 August 2005 06:58 pm |
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My husband's mother is and always was,mentally off balance. I think my husband got his disposition from his mother,and father. Ivan believes he has to be a mock copy of his parents. His Mom was,and is mentally challenged. She's rage-aholic. Ivan's Dad was a control-freak,when Ivan was growing up. Ivan't Dad physically abused his wife. His Mom beat him and his brother with switches. So,Ivan grew up in a violent environment. He was taught by his parents that the man calls all the shots and the woman obeys without complaining. He was taught that the man is the brains of the outfit,and women are stupid,all she's good for is to cook,clean,take care of the kids,and pleasure her man. So,I'm thinking Ivan is a monster because of the way he was raised.
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nee
Senior Member
| Joined: | 25 June 2005 |
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| Posts: | 45 |
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Posted: 14 August 2005 08:25 pm |
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Yes, he is always a monster; he just doesn't always need to act like one to get what he wants. Reasons for his behavior don't matter. What does matter is the behavior and its effect on you and the kids. You can sit around trying to get inside his head and make excuses for him - which I'll just bet he doesn't need any help with - and keep being abused and miserable, or you can realize that it's not okay and stop it. If you'd rather be with a man, the world's full of men who don't act like that.
That's all I'm going to say.
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 14 August 2005 08:54 pm |
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| Did I just get chewed out? Hmmmmmmm
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
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| Posts: | 4179 |
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Posted: 14 August 2005 09:18 pm |
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Nah, just giving you some input. That's what forums are for!:)
Peter
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
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| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 15 August 2005 12:30 am |
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| Yeah,we can learn lots from various inputs. I'm here to learn and improve.
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DavidM1121
Member
| Joined: | 3 August 2005 |
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| Posts: | 37 |
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Posted: 15 August 2005 01:53 am |
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Well, here’s my two cents...for what it’s worth.
First of all, let me preface my other comments by saying that I have not read all of the posts on this particular discussion thread. However, what I did read was more than a bit disturbing to me.
Let me start off by saying that your husband obviously has a self-esteem problem. Only emotionally small people try to stand on top of someone else to feel bigger. Your husband’s problem(s) has nothing to do with your weight. It has everything to do with his own failure to achieve. People like that tend to be control freaks...everything has to be about them.
Of the two of you, HE would be far more likely to cheat in your marriage (and find it very easy to rationalize how he ‘deserves’ it because it is paramount for him to be happy–regardless of how much it hurts someone else).
Now, as to your actual weight issue...
While achieving weight reduction in a tangible fashion as exemplified by the numbers displayed on a scale is important, the opinions of others should also be taken into consideration (and, no, I’m not talking about a mean-spirited, self-serving husband’s opinion). I would add that, based upon your nutritional intake and type of exercise program, it is possible to redefine your physique with minimal weight loss. Simply put, adding muscle while subtracting fat won’t make much of a difference on a scale (at least over a short period of time), but it would be visually apparent to those looking at you (looking at you in an objective manner).
There is one other thing I would like to add–and try not to take this TOO personally. I question your goal of becoming a "hottie." Yes, it’s nice to look attractive, but I can promise you that such an attitude–if expressed in the wrong way–will only feed your husband’s insecurity. And, to be blunt, might call into question your underlying motivations.
Now, having said all of that, I wholeheartedly believe you should continue with your efforts at losing weight. It is a matter of physics. If you engage in lesser caloric intake or greater caloric burning (or a combination of both), you WILL lose weight. As I said, it’s a matter of science. Just keep plugging away like the rest of us. You will reach your goal.
Perhaps then your husband will truly start to value you...rather than merely possess and control you.
Take care.
Last edited on 15 August 2005 03:31 am by DavidM1121
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 15 August 2005 02:34 am |
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The reason I returned to low fat and exercise was for health reasons. To be a HOTTIE is a bonus.
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Lolligirl63
Member
| Joined: | 8 August 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 57 |
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Posted: 16 August 2005 06:33 am |
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| I have a dreadful cold. I can't focus on my diet and exercise. Nothing I do or take gives me relief. I feel like death warmed over. I had a bowl of chicken and rice soup earlier. Yeah,high sodium,but I'm dog sick,so I'm forgiven.
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