| Author | Post |
|---|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 6 December 2006 04:56 am |
|
 Hello! I will start this by stating that I am the mother of 10 year old triplets. I was 30 pounds over my ideal weight when I became pregnant but didn't bother me so much. In the last 10 years though I have managed to gain all the way up to 242. I am now 232 (or was when I last weighed myself yesterday). I am taking this slow and easy and the joke around the house is that losing another 90 pounds is equal to the weight of one of my triplets so it must mean I am going to lose one of them . I have weeded down my refined sugards (no candy, no cookies, no chips, and 1 or 2 cokes a week - hey, must have a treat once in awhile!!). With switching from my regular snacks (chocolate and lots of it!!) to just fruit, grains, or vegetables has been the most difficult. At meal times, my portions were always fine....it is my eating when bored, tired, mad, happy, etc. HAve taken up crosswords and sodoku for the boredom! A quick walk around the building at work when I get tired or mad. So happy me 10 down! only 90 to go!!
Cheers to us!  
|
Dondi31
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 6 December 2006 05:20 am |
|
| Good luck to you and your quest. I have found the best thing for me is to keep coming here to this site and journal. Not only that, when you are in a slump there are excellent things to read at this site that puts things in perspective. Just keep the snacks away from the computer
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 6 December 2006 07:40 am |
|
| Thanks dondi, I just did my weigh in and am down 1.5 pounds to 230.5!!!!Whew!
|
Hisgal
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 6 December 2006 10:23 pm |
|
Welcome, Tripleplay!
I started my weight loss journey at 247, so I know where you are coming from. I've been slacking off lately, but am around the 162-166 range right now. Just do this for yourself...........you deserve to be healty and you will be happier with the weight off, if for no other reason than that you will feel ever so much better I admire you for starting this before the holidays.
Check out all this site has to offer, and welcome to our diaries! It's a great support system. Hisgal
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 9 December 2006 07:15 am |
|
Well, here it is Friday. I have been pretty good for the week except today we decided that we would treat ourselves to Quiznos. I had a regular veggie with water. Mmmmm, very tasty, but very heavy too. Otherwise, since I work nights and sleep for 5-6 hours during the day before I do my part time job or housework, or stuff with kids and hubby; I dont' have time to really eat. I am a snacker and I admit it. I have been doing better on the snack choices I make though. Chocolate was the killer for me as well as endless cans of coke. Yesterday, I even brought a pear and 2 oz of farmer cheese for my snack/lunch. Nice!! Tonite, I feel so stuffed from that sub nearly 5 hours after eating it, that I have no desire to chew anything more. So I have my coffee and my water. I weigh 232 but also am retaining water ("look ma ! it's a camel!!) So that will be draining away in the next two days.
I see everybody is updating thier diaries, so I had better stop and go browse.
I am sorry to say that we all have only 15 shopping days until christmas!!!!  
Sorry for that, but I just realized I will be walking alot more than I thought over the weekend as we are woefully behind on our shopping..........
Take care and have a good nite everyone!
|
Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4179 |
|
Posted: 9 December 2006 10:36 am |
|
tripleplay wrote: I am sorry to say that we all have only 15 shopping days until christmas!!!!
I thought I was doing well ordering all my on-line stuff by December 6th, and then Amazon tells me it will all arrive AFTER Christmas! (With free shipping, anyway.) 
Peter
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 10 December 2006 05:45 am |
|
Oh Peter!! I am so sorry! But, I have to admit I don't feel so bad now.
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 12 December 2006 07:44 am |
|
| Well, I am at 231.......Not bad considering that I had to sit almost all weekend doing typing.........
|
Dondi31
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 14 December 2006 09:24 pm |
|
| I have a problem with sitting long periods---Is it possible to get up every 50 minutes and do 10 minutes of squats?? Just an ides--I started doing that and I like it.
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 15 December 2006 09:01 am |
|
Great idea Dondi-girl! I will try it out and see how it goes. I spend about 12-16 hours a day sitting at a desk typing and such so I should get alot of squats in!
Down to 230! Yahoo! And all during the festive pig out season! We'll see how it continues.........
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 19 December 2006 06:44 am |
|
Well, things have been going well, if you consider I am not on antidepressants or a raving lunatic right now. We have attended no less than 3 funerals in 4 weeks and just got the news that my fathers twin is in the hospital with blood clots in his lungs and legs. Queu my father who at first was diagnosed with lung cancer has now been 'downgraded' to COPD. So, though I slept more and ate Culvers Fried Chicken Dinner for comfort food on Saturday, I managed to make it down to 228. We did bake our minds out yesterday with cookies everywhere. I did eat quite a few, but who can resist a chocolate cookie fresh out of the oven. But, I am not worried about it as I have made sure to eat fruits and salads the rest of the time for my snacks. Yeah. Hope everyone is doing well. Talk to you soon! MUST FINISH MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!!!!!!!! Who else has to ?
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 30 December 2006 12:14 am |
|
Hello! Sorry so long out of touch. I finally got on the scale and imagine my surprise when I came in at 226.5! Still losing despite the Holiday season! Must have been helped by the 9000 miles i walked trying to find everything for Christmas! Yuck! Endless circles! I have found a new work out to try at the start of the new year. I found it on Audible.com. They have a huge list of books and such that I download onto my Shuffle. Something different to do rather than music or news all the time. They have an excercise section that I browsed through and chose acouple that are broken down into sections for use on the limited time basis. I'll let you know how it goes.
Happy New Year all!!!!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 2 January 2007 02:17 am |
|
HAPPY NEW YEAR! She yelled out as she is at work missing out on the Sci-Fi channels Twilight Zone New Year's Marathon.
I did my weigh in and am at 232 (retaining water) so been craving salt and so had cashews, tortilla chips, fantastic salsa and guacamole....On top of the corn fritters, catfish, and jambalaya we had last night for our New Year's Dinner and of course the champagne at midnight (did I really drink almost a whole bottle?). I normally don't drink so, felt like poop today and I am just getting back into the swing of things.
I feel like a stuffed pig ready for the fire.....
Tonight I will make my portly way to the workout room and excercise like I hadn't this last 7 days.....
Well, like I wrote before, I am going to try my new workout download and see how that goes. I will give it 7 weeks and see how it works. Otherwise, if I don't like it, I think I will slide on down to the YMCA and join up. Ta-ta for now!
|
Scoobees
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 4 January 2007 11:33 pm |
|
Hi and welcome Tripleplay! I can't believe I somehow missed your diary. I was probably too busy rambling on and on and on in mine.
Wow - you're a mother of 10 year old triplets??? Several rounds of applause for you, girl! And you're still relatively sane? LOL!!
Anyway, glad to see you're keeping a diary...It's been extremely helpful to me. Just the accountability factor alone keeps me pretty much in line. The thought of coming in here and posting I ate like a and didn't exercise makes me think twice.
It sounds like you are well on your way already - I wish you all the best!!
Attached Image (viewed 481 times):
|
Dondi31
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 5 January 2007 09:12 am |
|
| Nice to know there is another Twilight Zone junkie out there. We had a blast watching it until the New Year!!! You can now buy the complete boxed set of all the DVD's!! Just a thought!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 10 January 2007 07:15 am |
|
Here I am wondering why Frango's were ever invented. Yesterday I did Friday thru Monday I did wonderfully. Even did my 15 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the bike. Building my way towards 30 a day each. Today I do my 16 and 16 with situps and some weightlifting in. But, tonite as I am in the pms way, we had Mcdonalds (a crispy chicken sandwich, fries and diet coke) and then during my fav show, House, me and the girls at Frango's. Chocolate and mint......mmmmm..Quite wonderfull, but hazardous to dieting. Ick. At least 'house' isn't on for another 3 weeks so I can resist the temptation to just sit and eat more. And Jericho doesn't start until February. I hate TV. Oh well.
So Friday, one serving better than eggs, toast, 2 slices bacon (breakfast), no lunch, small quizno's veggie with iced tea.
Saturday - homemade tacos (2) and a pear, 2 eggs, 2 bacon and toast and orange juice. .
Sunday - turkey breast, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy, peas (mmmm), and cranberry sauce. =-(
Monday - cereal and milk, frozen pizza (2 slices), pear.
Tuesday - cereal and milk, mcdonalds crispy chicken, fries, diet coke, god knows how many frango's..........
Retaining 5 -6 pounds of water......amazing.....you'd think with all I drink that my body wouldn't want to hold onto so much. Should be gone by friday so I refuse to weigh myself until then.
Mantra......will do better, will do better...
So how is everyone else doing?
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 19 January 2007 07:37 am |
|
Here I am and I did what I said I wasn't going to do and I weighed in. But it was good news! I am down to 226!!!! Yahoo! Only 86 more to go!!!!!
Up to 21 min on elliptical and 26 on bike.......Yahoo!!
|
Patchers
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 19 January 2007 01:38 pm |
|
Where do you find a workout download Tripleplays?
Patchers
Last edited on 19 January 2007 01:40 pm by Patchers
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 19 January 2007 08:04 pm |
|
| You can find downloads on Itunes, and Audible.com. I have the 6 week cardioblast currently on my shuffle. It is broken down into 7 parts; for example there is one for the elliptical, one for the stationary bike, a couple for the treadmill, and another for crosstraining as well as one for weightlifting. It's just like having your own personal trainer.
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 26 January 2007 07:34 am |
|
Well, how is everyone doing. I am well here in triplet land. I have been faithfully spending 22 minutes on the elliptical and 27 on the stationary bike. I am only down to 224 and my stomach still seems to stick way out but my legs are definitely getting better. I've been at this making sure to excercise 49 minutes a day 5 days a week and making sure to really work a sweat and heavy breathing along with 1500 or less on calories. I know my water retention in one leg is horrendous ever since I broke it a couple of years ago, but can't I have lost more?
It just seems that I should have lost more though I should be happy having lost what I have......
So from 242 to 224 isn't bad for a grand total. Onward ho!!!! (someone please start singing Rawhide for me.).
Gotta fly!!!!!
Angel
|
Hisgal
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 27 January 2007 01:15 am |
|
Congrats, Tripleplay!
You are doing great I need to get in more cardio........my diet's been star quality for 2 weeks, and the weight is not dropping off.
Glad to see that yours is
I suppose you will be getting a little colder up there this weekend? I see they are predicting our high at 9 degrees for Sunday. Brrrrrrrrr!
|
clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 27 January 2007 02:12 am |
|
Hi Tripleplay! I just read your diary. Sounds like you are doing GREAT!
Wow, triplets. That's great 
That's cool about the downloadable workouts. I've never heard of such a thing. I might have to go check those out.
Keep up the great work! Eighteen pounds in under two months. Nice!!!
clarinetgurl
|
Nir
Senior Administrator
|
Posted: 28 January 2007 10:29 pm |
|
tripleplay wrote: I've been at this making sure to excercise 49 minutes a day 5 days a week and making sure to really work a sweat and heavy breathing along with 1500 or less on calories.
I don't know your age or height, but 1500 calories is almost certainly less than your unadjusted RMR. (For example, Female,35,5'6",224lb give unadjusted RMR of 1728.) and you are exercising 5 days a week, so you'll be requiring even more calories than that. Can I please recommend that you read What It Takes to Lose It All
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 17 March 2007 09:52 pm |
|
Hello everyone, been gone for a while. Still working out and such. Started the SELF magazine Challenge. It's been fine and has given me some great ideas for working out. I am still at 225 but I am losing inches! that is it seems I am losing them everywhere but the old tummy.
Will do my weigh in and measurements on Monday so will let you know how the first week on this is going. I know I am not supposed to look at the scale as I am building muscle and apparantly I had alot to make as like I said the scale hasn't went down but I look and feel better. But, my question is when will the scale start tipping down again?
On a more happier note, I did 90 crunches and 40 side situps (?) yesterday!!! A new personal goal since high school!!
Take care all!
Angel
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 29 February 2008 07:34 am |
|
So it has been ever so long since I was here and guess who had yucko things happen and ate like a pig and didn't excercise and was at 252.5 last Satruday? Yup, you guessed it me...so here I am back and ready to get this done before I am 40.........
So hi to everyone and glad I am back!!!!!
|
Theresa
Senior Member
|
Posted: 29 February 2008 09:40 am |
|
Welcome back Tripleplay. I think the last time you lost weight you were actually eating way to little calories.  If you read the tutorial and use all the calculators you will do it the right way and lose weight less painfully than last time. It will take longer but be much easier and longer lasting.  Good for you for coming back to try again though. 
|
mrs24
New Member
| Joined: | 29 February 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 12 |
|
Posted: 29 February 2008 07:54 pm |
|
| Welcome again, and good luck on your goals! The calorie intake thing is tricky for me, and balancing going out for drinks with friends is even harder. This is my first weight loss diary and I'm so motivated by all of you!!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 1 March 2008 04:41 am |
|
WEll luckily I am actually doing it right on the diet this time...
it is very hard to make sure to eat 1600-1800 calories of only none sugary, non fatty, non high cholesterol foods....I have been using soy milk, mking sure to get the fiber in cereals, veggies, fruits, etc. And I never realized that it can be a chore to make sure you are eating enough to get the calorie intake...but making sure I don't go hungry or skip meals....so I had to see if the moment of truth for making sure I was eating right was working at all for me. Now remember I wasn't expecting alot or anything for that matter..But I went from 252.5 last weekend to 244.5 today....kids were pretending it was the Biggest Loser show and cheering me on...Made me wonder if the lack of salt in the diet except when necessary had led to that much of a reduction in the water retention..I had to have had a real pound of fat lost in there somewhere so I am happy happy happy.
I had done the BMR/RMR and it had me at 18xx. My sedentary lifestyle got me 2256. And when I actually went and added up my day in activities it stated 3132 used. I am sure it is because of my size that the used up part is so high so I don't dare go below the 1800 at all unless I want to get into the starvation mode. When I stop losing any weight in a month, i will know that I need to adjust it down a little to where it would be if I was 140 (125-wishful thinking). Gotta keep that number up though for the time being for the workouts so I don't burn up the muscle.
Thanks for all the notes of support here!!! Talk to you all later...Next weigh in 3/3 (that's the official weigh in day)..
|
zenobia
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 1 March 2008 05:01 am |
|
keep in mind if you don't eat enough, your body could stop losing for a while because it is n't getting enough and will hold on to the fat. i swear, it helped me in the past to have a high day. oddly, the scale would show a decent reduction the day after. it blew my mind, but it worked!
....and welcome back!!!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 1 March 2008 05:11 am |
|
Oh I know, I am in Anoka too and my downfall is Mansetti's pizza....it was easier to resist when they didn't deliver.....sigh.....i did give my self a 2000 calorie day today.....and maybe tomorrow too.....ya never know!! Do you smell pizza???
|
Beth
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 1 March 2008 12:40 pm |
|
| So glad you are back. Every day is a new day with a clean slate. I am finding this forum to be so very helpful. There are a couple of friends I've met on here who are really encouraging. It also seems to help to pour my heart out in my diary every day. Good luck! Chasing triplets around should use up a lot of calories!
|
zenobia
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 1 March 2008 01:24 pm |
|
hey trips! really, you are in anoka??? neato! i actually don't live there at present, but i grew up in the anoka/coon rapids area. now i live in robbinsdale, but i go to anoka almost every other day, it seems (going there today as a matter of fact!).
i didn't know they delivered! yummy.
.....and yes, i think i always smell pizza!!!
Last edited on 1 March 2008 01:30 pm by zenobia
|
GolfBrew
New Member
| Joined: | 17 January 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 151 |
|
Posted: 1 March 2008 01:35 pm |
|
Welcome back. I just read through your journal and I am excited to see you succeed! Your writing is very entertaining, keep it up! Good luck to you!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 5 March 2008 06:33 am |
|
Ok!! I am very happy to say I am at 244.....hoping for just 2 lb losses a week...nothing more extreme...if it happens...yeah...if it doesn't...i am not going to stress about it... I did way too much of that when i WAS skinny and about 110 lbs lighter and thinking i was fat then......stupid girl....
so no splurging but alot of fruit and yogurt..tried the soy milk and it was okay in my coffee but blech otherwise...
tried some soy meat that wasn't too bad.. i ate that with a nice salad while hubby had a steak...felt very good. I did have some ice cream this weekend and today i did have my one candy downfall... cadbury eggs....darn it....they are so good.....been addicted since 8....mean grandpa did it....if he hadn't of bought those....i would have found something else to eat.!!!!
Well see ya all!! write more soon.
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 8 March 2008 08:15 am |
|
Ok, I was tempted to weight my self before monday and saw that I was done to 243.5 which puts the total at
9 pounds lost!!! Yeah!!!!
Did have the weekly pig out day today but could only get 2100 in....I tried, don't get me wrong, but for my pig outs I can eat as much as I want of the good stuff with one not so good item in there, and still couldn't cram more down my throat, which is good.
This weekend will be hard to get food in as it is a big weekend push at work, so will be putting in long hours....will try to get to the 1700-1800 mark for the day. oh well, take care all and I will talk to you more on Monday!
|
zenobia
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 9 March 2008 08:48 pm |
|
about the soy milk- if you like tea, have the light vanilla flavore one. it's really yummy.
ooohh- soy meant- i dig the boca burgers- the garlic and original ones are tasty (i havn't tried the other ones, but they look good). just be sure to make them up on the stove with a bit of cooking spray. they turn out way less mushy (i found that nuking them makes the texture hardly worth it).
and omg, cadburry eggs! delish! both the coated ones (those little guys) and the creme filled ones.. and the caramel ones... you get the idea!
|
Scoobees
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 9 March 2008 11:21 pm |
|
Hi tripleplay and welcome back girl!!! Thanks so much for your wonderful support in my diary - I totally appreciate it.
Congrats on the 9 pounds!!!!!!!!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 13 March 2008 08:34 am |
|
Hey ya'll...
Hmm let's see, i walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes monday and tuesday and today did 30 minutes of weights and calisthenics...
Trying to be positive.....
|
Theresa
Senior Member
|
Posted: 13 March 2008 09:36 am |
|
| Keep up the good work! You will get there!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 19 March 2008 08:42 pm |
|
Thank you Theresa!!!
I have been trying to do 30 minutes everyday. today we walked the dog for 1.5 miles and then worked out for 15 on the ski machine...argh.
|
Hisgal
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 19 March 2008 11:10 pm |
|
Hi Tripleplay...............sorry I'm a little late, but welcome back from me too!
I agree with Zen..........try the light vanilla soy milk. I wasn't too sure the first time I had it on some high fiber cereal, but the second try I found I liked it better......it didn't take long before I preferred it to cow's milk. Now, unless the grandkids are visiting, it's the only milk I have in my refrigerator.
As for those Cadbury cream eggs.............my hubs cholesterol is high, so we are having no Easter candy in the house this year, except for Jelly Bellies and Peeps........they are sugar, but at least they have no fat! 
And remember to DRINK THAT WATER! I find that really helps.
I just read these water "facts"
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
I am sipping my H2O  as I type
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 26 March 2008 07:48 pm |
|
thanks Hisgal, that was good information. Yesterday's weigh in was pretty good. Down to 243 so a total of 9.5 pounds. i have been keeping to the sensible diet (with occasional bursts of fun but never too much). Keeping splurge days to 2000. Otherwise 1600-1800 a day. making sure i eat fruit and yogurt and keep the dairy in. seems to be working somehow! this is the horrid part of the month coming up and i usually have an entra 5-6 pounds or water hanging out. Nordic trac, elliptical, and cardioglide are my buddies. Treadmill when i can't walk outside. keeping my fingers crossed for 242 next week. Reasonable goal will create acheivable results.....
sigh...oh well..
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 5 April 2008 01:29 am |
|
So I have stopped weighing myself and concentrating on getting the work out in. Partly because it has been so long since i worked out that i am constantly getting more muscles so my weight is not the true standard of what is going on.
I do know that for once my underwear isn't rolling down under my stomach while i walk. and i can see some definition in the area above my knees.
Nordic trac for 22 minutes today and an hour walk with 40 minutes of strentgh training yesterday.
doing well i think!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 7 April 2008 05:36 pm |
|
argh, i did 60 minutes on the nordictrac.......and 60 minutes worth of weight training with light weights (2lb) but lots of reps.....
have a wedding i have to attend and look okay at the end of may and another in june...could be my best insentvie i need...!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 16 April 2008 04:45 am |
|
Well, weight is the same but the inches are added up for getting smaller. my bust is down to 38 1/2 from 39, waist is 51 from 54, and hips are 52 from 55. Legs are looking better and arms look better too. 60 minutes a day on the nordictrack skier is the goal. I may stop at 40 but aim for 60. 3 times a week i am using a 2 lb dumbell and a set of bands to work out my muscles so something is going right.
I finally fit though tightly into a pair of 18's which has been forever for me. so though the scale says 247....i know i am getting smaller and fitter..and that as soon as there is enough muscle i will start dropping the fat portion.
i sure do miss coca cola though...sigh....
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 11 December 2008 04:58 am |
|
Back again after taking far too much time off from taking care of myself....so now, with seriousness, i will get my posterior in order and get this done. somehow, i feel different this time...don't ask, i don't know why or how...but all over this is a different start then the rest of the times. hmmm
so lets start with my shame....260 last week...most i have ever weighed in my life....this week i am down to 256.5 but i know there is water weight in there as it was (that time)....so i have just done daily excercise of some type.. not gonna worry right now about firming this or that...just going to get my body in overall shape. having the ddr and wii is certianly a help...me and the kids have been having a blast the last week playing that thing...i never knew i had two left feet...here all this time i thought i could dance...lol...
so will catch up with all the diaries i have missed out on...
angel
|
zenobia
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 11 December 2008 05:13 am |
|
omg i was hoping you would be back! i saw your post in another journal and i thought "heck, i hope she starts posting in her diary again..." and here you are!
and how's anoka!? lol- i'm homesick! terribly!  that's how i feel about it.
hey, and you came back- the scale is one thing.. the fact that you came back and want to do something about it is... well... you can't attach any sort of number to that. welcome!
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 11 December 2008 07:05 am |
|
Oh Z-girl! I am so glad you are still here! and what are you doing so far away???? I haven't gotten to your diary yet, but will asap - i have missed so much the last 8 months being here and hadn't realized how addicted to this forum i was. thank you so much for the words of encouragement, they really mean so much.
Anoka is the same as always though I just found out that Cal's over on 2nd (that great little hole in the wall restaurant that served breakfasts and such) has closed after over 20 years....the Halloween parade this year seemed not so great, everyone seemed kind of bored this year or they were suffering from stress over watching their 401k's crash.
Otherwise all the lights are up! Are you coming back for the Holidays at all or are you going to rough it out there?
Angel
|
tripleplay
Senior Member
|
Posted: 12 December 2008 03:08 am |
|
So, i have spent the last week really cutting the #%@&! out. I am concentrating on portion and type. Making sure I bring the orange or apple to work vs going to the vending machine. Makeing sure that i am actually eating only one serving of cereal versus the 3 that was more typical. I have taken to eating slower and actually tasting the food so that is a big help. Made a 2 serving bag of trail mix that I brought to work for my snack last 2.5 hours. Only one piece at a time and if it was bigger than my finger it was eaten in two or more bites. I defintely feel full now...hmmm. And somehome between that and the water retention slowly releasing me from its ugly grip my scale graced me with a 253. very nice...only 3 to go for 2008. have three weeks to accomplish that with diet and excercise. cant wait to see if it somes off too.
I do know that i had some soul searching that went on this weekend. I have a horrible self image from a mother and grandmother who felt that I was either too little or too big - depending on the occasion - so I have never felt comfortable at any weight. My girls and I were watching a show on BBC America on overweight toddlers and my girls asked me some questions in regards to me and my mother (who I haven't spoken to in 5 years for varied reasons all relating to her view and perception of myself) and I answered as honestly as i could and surprised myself. I ended crying as well as the girls as they heard my story and asked questions about it. I had to explain all the verbal/mental abuse that had been heaped on me until i was 12 and mom kicked me out. I had always thought that maybe i had just blown it up to be more than it was but when my husband heard it as he came in and the rest of the kids too - it was apparant that it had not been blown out of proportion. It was a realization that I had not come to before, that my inability to see myself physically as a whole was a direct response to the insults of too ugly (you look just like your father - and they were divorced), you are too fat (5'2 110lb at 12), tyou are stupid, don't talk, the lack of interest in anything i did...this wasn't me, it was all her. hard thing when you know it in your head but have to verbalize it. The family was shocked - they didn't see a person who felt like that - but it gave them tremendous insight into why i have had such a hard time taking care of myself in regards to weight and such. It is hard to describe to people to make them understand that I am not a whole. when i see myself it is only an eye, or a knee, or one hand - i can't see the whole image in the mirror. i know i am not unattractive but have no idea what that is. When i was dating, i was always worried, not afraid, that my then bf would discover that i was not a really attractive person and that there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until my husband that i felt loved for my brain and heart. i don't know what size i am supposed to be - i don't know what my body is supposed to look like. It is just #%@&! that i can't. It must have been okay when i was young as i was asked out quite alot, but why, i don't know and again the same thing - would they not find the flaw that my mother and grandmother always found? someday i hope to be able to do this but in the meantime i am going to get this weight off and get healthy. if i can't see the whole then the least i can do is make sure i have healthy parts, eh? It will come, i know, i just have to work on myself and i may have to start writing to get it all out. I just don't know how or where to start. If anyone else has had to go through this or feels like i do, could you tell me how you cope? what were steps that some of you took at the beginning to get yourself on the road to recovery? I better end this post as it is so long....sigh
Last edited on 12 December 2008 03:43 am by tripleplay
|
zenobia
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 12 December 2008 05:29 am |
|
wow- that's a lot to handle. it makes me sad that parents don't understand how words will affect their children. it just makes me so angry. it is great that you were able to get it all out to your family. they sound like a great support system and will be absolutely positive for you.
thank you for sharing that story here, too. i hope i can give you encouragement on your continuing journey. you have so much to discover about yourself, and i think it will turn out to be a really great thing. i think write it all out is a good idea.
stay positive my anoka friend!
(oh, i'm in AZ for school- hubs started this year, i'm due to start next year. the parad want' that great? bummer! i sued to be in that parad when i was little- my mom work for Anoka Electric. oh, i had to ask my dad if they still had the winking pumpkin for holloween. i loved that thing when i was a kid! yeah, we will be staying here for the holidays, but i am coming for a visit in feb. i'm so stoked to go to anoka and hang out for a day at the coffee shop!)
take care!
|
Current time is 01:23 am | Page: 1 2   |
|
