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Thin Again - A Journey by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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DoublePoppa
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Joined: 6 October 2008
Location: Boynton Beach, Florida USA
Posts: 120
 Posted: 22 October 2008 03:24 am
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Unless you have sensitive teeth it shouldn't hurt to eat the fruit. Its still soft. Kind of like eating a firm sorbet. Its good. :yum: (Im using that emoticon in this instance to be licking my lips.)

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 22 October 2008 03:47 am
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My teeth are a little sensitive, but if it's still soft I think I'd be okay.  Of course I really need a new fridge, everything freezes rock hard in it!  Takes days to defrost anything after its been in my freezer.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 23 October 2008 02:39 am
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:grin::grin::grin::grin::grin: I weigh.....195!!!!!!!!

I hate plateus by the way. 

Exercise 15 minute walk, 50 situps, 50 wall pushups, 15 squats.

I'm so happy about my weight, finally!!!  I've been waiting so long.





DoublePoppa
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Location: Boynton Beach, Florida USA
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 Posted: 23 October 2008 03:35 am
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You have a very nice face btw. It's wholesome and attractive. :grin:

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 23 October 2008 03:42 am
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Thank you poppa, someone at work said I look like a deer in the headlights in that picture!

DoublePoppa
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Joined: 6 October 2008
Location: Boynton Beach, Florida USA
Posts: 120
 Posted: 23 October 2008 03:44 am
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Well my "deer" har har I think the guys around you must melt for that smile.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 23 October 2008 04:15 am
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I'm blushing a lot!!!  Thanks!!!

Your smile looked pretty cute in your picture too, it was a little blurry though, you better post another one so we can see you better!

desperategirl
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Joined: 15 September 2008
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Posts: 285
 Posted: 23 October 2008 02:33 pm
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just been reading your diary, and wanted to drop in and say INCREDIBLE cheekbones!

DG

:turtle::turtle:

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 23 October 2008 10:36 pm
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Thanks DG

I'm at home today, which always spells trouble because I'm such a snacker.  I'm a lot less busy during the day (on purpose work is stressfull enough I just want to relax when I get home) so I sometimes get a little bored and the chocolate starts talking to me, and we all know how that ends up!

So far today:

Protien Fiber shake 210

Strawberries 47

Raviolis ~ 500

Coffee 200

It's still pretty early, and that's a lot of calories, but oh well.

DoublePoppa
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Joined: 6 October 2008
Location: Boynton Beach, Florida USA
Posts: 120
 Posted: 23 October 2008 10:41 pm
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What kind of coffee are you drinking? Two hundred calories? Is it really a latte or something because black coffee has almost no calories. I think its something like 6.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 24 October 2008 01:02 am
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No, it's not a latte.  Actually this is going to sound really terrible but I just add non fat half and half and sugar to taste and I don't really figure out how much calories it is, so I just estimate high :confused:

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 25 October 2008 04:26 am
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It's been a high calorie day, not more than 1800, but that breaks my not over 1500 rule.  That's okay, I'm good with zigzagging, as long as it doesn't get out of control.

I think my new calorie intake is going to be weekdays 1300-1500 and weekends 1500-1700.  Keep in mind that I'm on hospital time so my week doesn't always start on Monday.

Here is Michael's halloween costume, he's a golf-pro

Attached Image (viewed 334 times):

mikehalloween2008.jpg

DoublePoppa
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Joined: 6 October 2008
Location: Boynton Beach, Florida USA
Posts: 120
 Posted: 25 October 2008 04:57 am
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Probably the coffee is only 100 calories unless you use 6 sugars and a half a cup of cream. Sorry just my Starbucks experience coming out.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 25 October 2008 05:05 am
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I appreciate the input Poppa.  I get so hung up over calories it's terrible.  I start making my food numbers higher so that I'm actually taking in less than my diary reflects.  A little touch of the anorexic left in me. 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 26 October 2008 03:26 pm
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Okay, so the problem is, I'm not cheating, I know I'm not eating too many calories, if anything I'm eating too little, but I can't lose anymore, I lost two, now I'm back up two and I'm starting to get upset!!!  I just want to starve myself at this point.  I so want to be 180 before Christmas.  I'm desperate at this point!  I had a salty dish yesterday, so that might be accountable for the two pounds, but I'm still so upset.  Okay, maybe I need to take a step back from the scale again, I've been weighing myself alot. 

So in other news, no walk Thursday, Friday or Saturday (also attributing to no loss).  But there's a walk scheduled today at 12:00pm for twenty minutes. 

I went shopping yesterday, I am now officially and comfortably in standard sizes.  I'm ranging from a L-XL and 14-16 depending on brand.  Yes still big, but much better.  I bought a lot of clothing.  Did you know that when you lose weight it's easier to buy clothes?  Like maybe a little TOO easy, like break the bank easy!  Not that I wasn't in need, most of my clothes are at least two or three sizes too big.  So yay me for good fashion, bad me for breaking the bank!

Sassykat
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Joined: 14 February 2007
Location: Smalltown, Colorado USA
Posts: 2247
 Posted: 27 October 2008 11:59 pm
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You posted your picture!  You're so pretty, what a lovely girl!

I love getting to see what people look like, so I can put a face with their name.

I do the same with my coffee by the way.  I just dump in milk and sugar.  My coffee w/ sugar may be the last thing I cut - if I ever do.:wink:

Hisgal
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Joined: 27 March 2006
Location: Smalltown, Minnesota USA
Posts: 3836
 Posted: 28 October 2008 12:05 am
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I went shopping yesterday, I am now officially and comfortably in standard sizes.  I'm ranging from a L-XL and 14-16 depending on brand.  Yes still big, but much better.  I bought a lot of clothing.  Did you know that when you lose weight it's easier to buy clothes?  Like maybe a little TOO easy, like break the bank easy!  Not that I wasn't in need, most of my clothes are at least two or three sizes too big.  So yay me for good fashion, bad me for breaking the bank!

Yeah, but isn't it fun?????????

Salty foods have the same effect on me...............so does not walking!  :crying:

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 28 October 2008 02:23 am
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Yesterday:

Walk 30 minutes

Small binge consisting of about 5 mini butterfingers and a bowl of potatoe stroganoff.  Not terrible but not wonderful either.

 Today

Walk 30 minutes

Weight back down to 195.  I'm still not happy about that though, because I mysteriously gained two pounds, then I have a small binge and lose those two. 

I'm concerned because I've been bruising a lot lately, my gums have been bleeding a little bit too.  I see my surgeon early next month so I'll ask him about it then, but it really is kind of odd.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 30 October 2008 04:58 am
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Yesterday

30 minute walk

nothing too high calorie

Today

10 minute walk

 

My weight still isn't going down,  I've only lost half of what I wanted to in the challenge.  It's better than nothing, but I was really hoping to get somewhere.  For the winter challenge I think I'll shoot for 10 pounds, but I probably won't get anywhere near that.  But I sure will try!

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 31 October 2008 07:23 am
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  I finished up last night with a small binge. :sad:  I think it happened because I've been feeling kind of discouraged.  I feel like I should be losing more weight, and faster, but I'm just not.  It's really depressing.

Anyway, today

20 minute walk, even though it rained.  My weight stayed the same even with the small binge.  Darn!!! I was doing so good, I went a really long time without a binge.  Someday I would just like to stop having them.  I don't ever want to binge again!  But tonights better.  No binge.  Eating normal.  I don't think I'll lose anymore for the end of the challenge tomorrow, but I'm good with that.  As long as I lose in the Holiday challenge I'll be happy. 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 2 November 2008 03:45 pm
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Halloween didn't go too well for me.  I had a lot of fun, and a lot of candy.  I haven't weighed myself, I'm not sure if I'm going to today, since it will probably go down quite a bit.  Or at least I hope it will. 

 

MidgeH
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Joined: 14 May 2008
Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
Posts: 1368
 Posted: 2 November 2008 07:21 pm
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Hey, Once, we have the same holiday challenge goal!  We'll get there together!

 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 3 November 2008 04:33 am
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You better believe it Midge, I'm so determined, all the family is coming! 

Okay so calories for today:

coffee x2    200

banana     121

avacado     226

frozen fruit cup    200

1 cup grapes     105

italian salad   300

artichoke   60

1/2 cup couscous    100

3oz fresh ahi tuna    150

TOTAL    1462

I think that's one of the most well balanced days I've ever had!  I wish I could make everyday like this, but let me tell you, it's expensive to eat this way!  And it's still a little over what I wanted for calories today, I was kind of shooting for a low day, more like 1100-1200 considering Halloween and yesterday were pretty high.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 4 November 2008 01:25 am
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I think I might go vegetarian, what do you think?

MidgeH
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Joined: 14 May 2008
Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
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 Posted: 4 November 2008 01:34 am
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Watch out for your hair!  Vegetarianism is good, but you do have to be very careful in the beginning, most vegetarians I know said at first they lost a lot of hair.

 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 4 November 2008 03:26 am
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I really really don't want to lose any more hair, but when I eat less meat I feel less sluggish.  I wonder if there really is a connection.  But I'm too bald as it is!  If I lose any more I'm going to buy a toupe.

Intake today so far:


Superfood juice smoothie  250

applepear  120

avacado   228

mango   135

coffee  100

sunchips   120

peanut butter crackers  200

Total so far   1153

Planned for tonight:

fruit cup  200

I would eat more but I want a low night, I spent a lot of my calories on sunchips and crackers, but I'm at work and I forgot my lunch and those were about the healthiest things I could find.  I'm really tired tonight, I don't feel good at all.  My allergies were terrible last night.  I'm not sure what's going on but it's the pits! 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 5 November 2008 03:49 am
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Last night I had another small binge, I probably ended up with about 2500 total, but it's just an estimate.  I don't know why I keep having these, it's driving me nuts!

Walk today 20 minutes despite the freezing cold.

So far today:

yogurt:  110

1 cup grapes:   105

coffee x 2:  200

granola bar:  150

 

Planned for later:

Salad:  400

Fruit Cup:  200

Total: 1165

A little on the low side, but a good thing.  I've been having way too many "small" binges lately.  And even though I'm not gaining weight, I'm deffinently not losing.  This is a problem and it must stop!!!

Zigzagging

Tuesday 4th:  1200   20 minute walk

Wednesday 5th:  1300  30 minute walk

Thursday 6th:  1500  30 minute walk

Friday 7th: 1500

Saturday 8th: 1600

Sunday 9th:  1200  20 minute walk

Monday 10th:  1200  30 minute walk

Tuesday 11th:  1300  30 minute walk

So that's the plan for the week.  Lets see if that helps any.  Not much is working right now.  :sad:

 

 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 6 November 2008 01:49 am
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Calories today:

oatmeal w/milk:  240

mango:   135

grapes:   105

cheese stick:   100

yogurt:   110

coffee:   150

 

And to finish off:

crab bisque ~ 350

fruit cup 200

Total:  1390

That was hard!  The bisque did me in.  But I only went 90 over so that's not bad.
 

Last edited on 7 November 2008 04:41 am by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 7 November 2008 04:48 am
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So far today no weight loss, in the news of calories though...

coffee  150

yogurt  100

oatmeal  170

pineapple  38

cheese stick  80

fruit rollup  75

macadamia nuts (about six)  100

planned for later:

crab bisque  ~350

fruit cup  200

mango  135

pineapple  38

for a total of:  1436

 
I just weighed myself and I would like to say     194

 

Last edited on 7 November 2008 04:57 am by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 7 November 2008 10:04 pm
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I bought new shoes today, with money I don't have, but what can you do, the sole fell off my other tennies. 

Calories:

cheese stick   80

coffee x 2  200

pineapple  80

banana   105

fruit rollup  75

couscous  200

pizza  900
 

Total 1640

(didn't need the pizza but I couldn't pass it up)

Last edited on 8 November 2008 04:45 am by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 8 November 2008 09:50 pm
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Calories today:

coffee  150

banana  105

artichoke  60

coffee  100

macadamia (the last of them)  100

pistachios  100

I'm broke and I'm out of fruit.  Thats a real problem because produce is so expensive.  I'm out of macadamia nuts too and those are kind of a desert for me.

I've been really grouchy lately.  My temper is red hot.  I'm not sure what's going on.  My family is really loud and while it can get annoying sometimes mostly I think the noise is cute in a bothersome way.  But lately I'm going, just keep it down or I'm going to lose it!  That bothers me so much.  I've always been the peace maker, the laid back one who can handle anything.  Stress was no foe to me!  Lately I find myself counting to ten just to keep myself in check.  What's going on?

Finishing off the night with

2 homemade tacos ~ 800

2 bites choco cheese cake  ~ 100

A grand total of:  1515

And I'm back to 195!!!  What am I doing wrong, the numbers look great.  I'm walking more, about 1hr 45mins a week.  Whats the deal, the numbers should be going down, not up!

Last edited on 9 November 2008 03:27 pm by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl

mollymoo24
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Joined: 30 December 2007
Location: Chicago, USA
Posts: 5732
 Posted: 9 November 2008 03:39 pm
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Congrats on the 194, I saw your post in the Challenge and am very excited for you.  Keep it up!  Mol.

 

CrimsonAnimus
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Joined: 4 May 2008
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA
Posts: 1908
 Posted: 9 November 2008 05:27 pm
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Congrats x2 to you and your cute cheeks...:wink:.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 9 November 2008 11:30 pm
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Thanks Molly and Crimson, I'm glad someone else is enthusiastic about my tiny loss.  Even a half pound is exciting to me anymore because I lose so slow.

I've been really concerned about my appearance lately.  I don't think I look good.  There was a picture of me taken during halloween, and while I was excited to see I no longer looked huge, I was disappointed because I look frizzy and frumpy, while my always posh sister looked put together and pretty.  I think it's time to take some action about my failing image.  I need to put a stop to the frizz, I might have it perma straightened at the salon or something, but this can't go on anylonger.  Bad skin is a crime, it really is, I don't get many breakouts anymore, but between the acne scars, laugh lines and dark circles under the eyes I'm a mess!  I also need to invest in some waterproof eyeliner.  I'm tired of the smudged, I just crawled out of bed and didn't take a shower look.

Where calories and weight are concerned, I'm back at 195, what to do, what to do...  I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

cheese stick  80

coffee x2 200

yogurt  170

homemade taco ~ 400

coffee  100

2 peppermints  60

Total:  1010



 


Last edited on 10 November 2008 02:59 am by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 10 November 2008 11:42 pm
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I had a really low night last night, and I guess that did the trick because I'm 193 today!  I'm thinking it's probably just water weight, or something though.  It's still upsetting that I wasn't losing before, I don't want to have to drop that low to get the scale to budge!  Anyway today I'm shooting for 1600.

So far...

oatmeal with milk  160

coffee x2  200

chicken potpie ~ 500

crackers with chesse  300

crab bisque  400

total  1560

 

 

Last edited on 11 November 2008 03:07 am by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 12 November 2008 12:43 am
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Calories...calories...

cheese stick  80

coffee x2 200

fruit roll up  75

cheese stick  80

 

 

DoublePoppa
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Joined: 6 October 2008
Location: Boynton Beach, Florida USA
Posts: 120
 Posted: 12 November 2008 07:08 am
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You are really beating yourself up right now. Celebrate the successes and forget the failures. You are a awesome chica from what I can tell. By reading your last couple of journal entries you really seem to be stressed out by your weight and appearance in general though.

I honestly to me it looks like you need to increase your exercise. Walking for 15 minutes doesn't seem like enough. When I exercise I move my behind. I make sure my shirt is completely saturated with sweat. Go out a really get your heart pumping. Its not always easy but its better than the alternative.

 I don't mean to be harsh. I don't mean to bring you down. I want to push you past the next level if I can. Yours is one of my favorite journals. Ive read a lot of it and you are strong. Strong enough to keep on pushing and then push even harder. You deserve to feel happy and confident and beautiful. Good luck friend.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 12 November 2008 07:48 am
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Thanks Poppa.  I should probably be a little less hard on myself.  Actually I have been walking longer, I'm averaging 20-30 minutes four-five days a week right now.  But I still could use some more.  It's hard for me to find time.  I would like to get a gym membership but I don't think I could afford it right now.

Calories finishing up with...

tuna casserole ~ 550

2 bites choco cheesecake ~ 100   (Yes it was sweet sweet torture!)

For a total of:  1085

 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 12 November 2008 09:23 pm
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I had my pre-surgery doctors appointment today.  Their very generous (and incredibly inaccurate) scale said 190.  Which was very nice to see.  I'm usually so embarassed when I have to get weighed, but not this time.  It's still not a great weight, but it's not quite as shamefull.  I have wonderful blood pressure 110/78, down from 125/84 when I started this journey.  We'll see what the bloodwork says.  It should be normal.  So I have no reason to worry about this surgery.  (But who am I kidding, I'm super worried, I really really don't want to do this!)  Only SIX more days!

Calories

coffee x2  200

cereal with milk  300

chicken & brownrice  300

coffee  100

fruit roll up  75

cheese stick  80

tuna casserole ~  300

very thin slice choco cheesecake ~ 250  (It's 200 for 1/8th slice without the crust, mine was a 1/16th of a slice with crust, so this is just an estimate, but I'm hoping it to be somewhat accurate)

coffee  100

Total   1705




 


Last edited on 13 November 2008 06:30 am by OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 14 November 2008 02:47 am
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Last night a co-worker told me that he thinks I'm a very beautiful woman.  Slightly awkward, but still nice to hear.

Tomorrow is my day off (my only one this week) and little man and I are making pinecone bird feeders.  I can't wait to get to spend the whole day with him.

Calories for today...

2 peaches  220

coffee  100

cheese stick  80

fruit rollup  75

edamame  100

coffee  100

 

suenos
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Joined: 1 February 2006
Location: A Good Sized City, Tennessee USA
Posts: 1280
 Posted: 14 November 2008 06:59 am
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Funny cause on a feministe site I belong to there is an ongoing discussion about being called "beautiful" by random guys (i.e. men who are not sig. others/family members)...how it makes us feel both validated and, as you say, awkward, at the same time.  But you know, I think it's just human nature (male or female) to like knowing we are physically attractive to others...so for what it's worth, based on your avatar, I also happen to think you are a truly beautiful woman.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 14 November 2008 09:37 pm
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Suenos, that is one of the most geniune and well thought compliments I've ever recieved, thank you, it's made my day!

I'm sitting at home with Michael.  He's glueing random things to paper right now.  He's really creative.  He made a bridge using wooden sticks and there's a bunch of koi underneath in a circular pattern.  It looks like a school of fish swimming under the bridge.  I'm probably seeing way more in this than there is, because I'm his mother, but honestly the kid has an artistic edge.

It's very quiet and peacefull at my house right now.  I haven't had this kind of time for awhile.  Work is so hectic, and usually when I am home I'm cooking or cleaning and not enjoying my time off at all.  Today my plans include; crocheting a baby blanket for a friend that I have yet to finish and her baby shower was two months ago, making pinecone bird feeders with Michael, taking the dogs for a walk and finishing the movie I'm watching.  It's very poetic, and deep with thought about life, and where it takes you, but more importantly love, which is perfect because underneath it all I'm a hopeless romantic.

Calories:

homemade black bean burrito ~ 400

banana  121

yogurt  170

 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 16 November 2008 03:44 pm
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The last two days really sucked for me diet wise.  I hate this cycle!  I realize I've come a very far way, I realize that I binge much less than I use to, but is there going to be a time when I don't have to work so hard not to?  Is there ever going to be a time when I have a relationship with food that isn't extremely stressful?

MidgeH
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Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
Posts: 1368
 Posted: 16 November 2008 08:05 pm
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Once, you could be in my head.  I have such a stressful relationship with food that sometimes I feel like I've conquered and other times I realize it still controls me.

all I can do is be aware of it, and question everything before I put it in my mouth.  The delay helps me.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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 Posted: 16 November 2008 08:50 pm
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Most people I know don't struggle with food the way I do, I just want to be like them, eat when I'm hungry, don't eat when I'm not, plain and simple!

calories

coffee x2  200

tortellini soup ~ 400

coffee 100

 

dilletanteeyes
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Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania USA
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 Posted: 16 November 2008 08:55 pm
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl wrote: The last two days really sucked for me diet wise.  I hate this cycle!  I realize I've come a very far way, I realize that I binge much less than I use to, but is there going to be a time when I don't have to work so hard not to?  Is there ever going to be a time when I have a relationship with food that isn't extremely stressful?
i can def. identify with that. But i've realized that i tend to eat more when i don't have much going on, which is usually almost everyday. like when i'm at home babysitting my little sisters on the weekdays but when i'm out and about on the weekends i eat less cuz my attention is focused on other things and food is usually the last thing on my mind.

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Joined: 7 April 2006
Location: Willits, California USA
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 Posted: 16 November 2008 09:36 pm
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Your so right dilletanteeyes.  It all started when I was home with nothing to do!  So what did I do?  Eat! 

OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
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Location: Willits, California USA
Posts: 1566
 Posted: 18 November 2008 12:42 am
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Okay so I just want this to stop!  Why do I do that?  Why do I eat when I'm not hungry.?  Just when I get into the swing of things and feel in control of my life again!  Urgg.  If you can't tell, last night went really bad.

Today WILL be better!

Back to baby steps again.  Ughhhh!

mollymoo24
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Joined: 30 December 2007
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 Posted: 18 November 2008 01:56 am
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Someone posted a thread on here somewhere about things you can do when you get that urge but really don't need to eat.  What I remember is flossing your teeth, or putting on whitening strips.  I know some other people drink a glass of water.  Anyway, hopefully you can find something that can get you through the cravings. 

DoublePoppa
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Joined: 6 October 2008
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 Posted: 18 November 2008 03:36 am
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How about making whoopie? Good exercise and stress relief.


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