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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 February 2008 10:13 pm |
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Hi Pat  rescued you from the bottom of the page. I read your post in Sassy's journal about your Honey. When I was still with my ex, he had a bout with diverticulitis. Bleeding from where you shouldn't be bleading. Wouldn't let me take him to emergency. Mon appt with Dr. Was admitted anyway. So week I had to drive him, couldn't keep anything in. Needless to say a few days at hosp., a few pints of blood, and a few tests later he was released with Iron tablets and the same suggestion. FIBER & WATER. Water wasn't a problem. I hope your Honey takes the Drs advise.
Good Luck
Lee 
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 February 2008 03:00 pm |
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Thanks, Lee
I hope he does too! Right now I am so mad at him  And mad at myself! After Ash Wednesday services, he showed me the letter he got from his Dr. on the results of his bloodwork.............his cholesterol is back up to 271  and his good cholesterol is only at 30  He keeps telling me he is eating healthier! I think he's sneaking more cookies and donuts than I know about.......also potato chips, etc. I've switched to lower fat versions of so many things, but the bottom line is...........he's eating lower fat versions of junk food! I made the switch so that he could have his little treats once in a while, instead of having to give them up completely. Instead he thinks he's eating healthy by having baked chips for supper, with his big serving of meat..........and leaving the fruits and veggies for me! I know a big part of my anger at him right now, is fear...........fear that he could have a heart attack or stroke and I could lose him..........if the next set of test results don't indicate that the poyps they removed are cancerous! Sorry I am venting, I know! But he hears the parts he wants to hear when I talk about healthy eating.
And the other part of my anger is at me! I have not been eating healthy for the last 6 months, at least. And I've put on 40 lbs, which I'm sure has affected my once healthy cholesterol! If I'd been cooking lots of veggies, and very little meat, and if I'd clear the house of the "good" junk food that he's been eating..........he'd have had no choice but to eat healthier, at least for the dinner meal with me. Maybe it would have made a difference???
I don't know what he's going to do...........the Dr. called in a prescription to our pharmacy. And scheduled an appt. for 3 months from now, for a re-check.
I have to use my anger to fuel my determination to get back to healthy eating and figure out how to get my hubs to eat healthy too. Because let's face it, I can cook healthy meals every night, but I can't stop him from pulling into Kwik Trip for a donut or 3 on the way to work in the morning............at least when he goes back to work!
I've got a lot of thinking to do!
Last edited on 8 February 2008 04:22 am by Hisgal
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 February 2008 03:08 am |
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Hisgal - I am so sorry to hear about your hubs' medical issues! I am praying everything goes well with his test results.  Please don't 'beat yourself up' with the could-have's, should-have's, would-have's, etc. in regards to his eating choices. Unfortunately we simply can't control everything our hubbies put into their mouths. I can so empathize with that! I can serve up the healthiest meal only to have mine 'doctor-it-up' with either cheese, Hellman's mayo, or ranch dressing...sometimes all three! When I complain and try to discuss why that's not such a good thing to do - he thinks it's all funny.  Of course, mine hasn't seen a doctor for as long as I can remember!
Let's hope this will have a very positive effect on his 'healthy' eating. Don't forget to take care of yourself too Hisgal!
 Scoobs
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soontobeme
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2008 04:46 am |
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Hi Pat,
I am sorry to hear about your frustiations, sounds like what I am going thru only with my health and not my husbands, for the first time in my life my bad cholestrol is up, not high yet, but up enough for the dr. to tell me to exercise more every day. Plus, the migraines are worse, having them a lot more lately........just had an MRI but that is ok, good thing. They did blood work, and my glucose test I think an AC1 or A1C was at 8, which is to high, so have to watch the starches and sugars. I go back in 4 weeks for more blood work. Plus my hemoglobin was only at 10, when a woman should be btwn 12 and 18 and since I had my hysterectomy we can not say it is low because of that, so I now get the tests for colon cancer, and I can tell you this are not fun............it is not mud that is being played with and I am not a kid anymore....and now I sound like you, sorry, I am venting on your board......OOOPPPPPS forgor where I was at. But, the Dr, did take more blood to run more tests to see why the hemoglobin is so low and I am on 325mg of ferrous sulfate a day to help build it back up. This, may be the reason that I am tired, sluggish, headachey, and short of breath. They are all signs of low hemoglobin. Maybe this is the cause of the migraines. Well, I am praying for you and your husband, both, want to see us all healthy. I will post an update on Tues of my last test results. Sorry for using your diary as pity party for me. Oh yeah, haven't had a regular coke for 18 days.........almost breaking a habit again.
If anyone can do this Pat, it is you and I and we both do great when we remember that we need to take some time for ourselves, and take some time with HIM so here we go again.........working for our goals.......a healthy lifestyle.
Judy
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 February 2008 09:50 pm |
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HI Judy
Thanks for your kind words I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through  You can write in my diary anytime 
Are you at the age for a baseline colonoscopy? Or are there other reasons for scheduling it? I assumed, I guess, that that is what you were referring to by "Test for colon cancer"? I had mine just after turning 50, and was kind of surprised that the hubs Dr. waited...........of course, like I said he was 3 years overdue on his check-up. I will just feel better when we get the pathology report back, and it says the polyps weren't cancerous. That's been my major struggle this week...........I am trying so hard to trust God, and hand it all over to HIM, but Satan is right there, trying to make me worry about it!
I just cried in church this morning, over God's goodness.........the sermon was just exactly what I needed to hear! And several of the hymns......they were words I needed to hear too! I was just humbled, that with everything going on in the world..........God would take time to help me and reassume me this morning. I hear so many people say they are believers, but they don't go to church or read God's Word on a regular basis. They are missing so much! I can't believe how often God speaks to me in the daily devotions I do (yes, I finally got back to DAILY) or the songs on Christian radio, or in Bible Class or Studies! He is my STRENGTH! And HIS WORD is how he speaks to us! I get so frustrated when people don't live their faith. God says he knows the heart.........and he does. I just have to try not to judge people who don't seem to be living what they say they are believing. That's one of my weaknesses!
Congrats on the Coke-less days. NSV! Even though your hemoglobin is low........maybe a small part of the "tired, sluggish, headachy" could be caffeine withdrawal???
You know, so much of what people write about on this site is about "diet" "weight-loss" and "exercise"...........and not that that's bad, but I would love to have people talk more about the numbers. And I don't mean the ones on the scale! A lot of the time, weight loss and regular exercise, really shows up in the numbers...........the ones you get tested at the Dr.'s office. What are the cholesterol readings of those of us who are overweight? What about HDL & LDL numbers? What about triglycerides? What about fasting glucose? Maybe my hubs can't do it with diet and exercise? But, maybe he can! I'd just like for him to give it a serious try! I want to grow old with him! I want both of us to have the healthy bodies that God intended us to have..........not the unhealthy ones we've created!
I think another part of my frustration, is that I can't do it for him! He has to make the decision............and carry it through. And so do you, Judy ...........and so do I! Each of us is responsible for what we put in our mouth..........and how we move our bodies! At least until we get so overweight and out of shape, that someone else has to take over, or we are so diseased that we can't move anymore/workout anymore, the way we need to.
So, Judy , my prayers are still with you..........but you have to be the one to reach out to God for help, and you have to be the one who puts the healthy food in your mouth, and you have to be the one who starts regular exercise! Just like my hubs.....and just like me.........and everyone else on this site struggling with weight and/or health problems! We can't let our family, friends, surroundings, situations make the decisions for us...........we need to TAKE CONTROL OF OUR LIVES, while giving them over to God, and use His strength to take that control.
Hang in there, and keep me posted of your progress! (and there will be progress)
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 February 2008 10:06 pm |
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Scoobs wrote:
Unfortunately we simply can't control everything our hubbies put into their mouths. I can so empathize with that! I can serve up the healthiest meal only to have mine 'doctor-it-up' with either cheese, Hellman's mayo, or ranch dressing...sometimes all three! When I complain and try to discuss why that's not such a good thing to do - he thinks it's all funny.
I know, Scoobs, I know! If only we could! Or if only someone else could do it for us! Then we wouldn't be overweight and struggling either. My hubs jokes about it too, and right now (when I'm PMS'ing) it's not funny! I don't want to live the rest of my life without him.........he's my other half! He makes me complete! I can't imagine life without him!
So, the other side of the coin is this.................if I don't shape up, he might have to live life without me! Do I want that either??? No, I want us to grow old together! We've gone through so much together..........I want us to have some of that retirement time together too! So, I need to shape up too, and make it for a lifetime!
Scoobs wrote:
Of course, mine hasn't seen a doctor for as long as I can remember!
I think most guys are particularly bad about that! I think that we women, as a whole, are better about seeking out help. I think it's part of the way God created us. We have so many differences..........but guys definitely seem to have a need to "conquer".............you know, going out to hunt and bringing home supper to provide for the family  If they go to the Dr. they are admitting they can't conquer it.......they need help...........kind of like getting them to stop and ask directions, after they've been lost for less than an hour!
Hubs has been watching what he's eating..........for the last 4 days. The question is...........will he continue? Or go back to his old habits? And the problem is that he's conning me into writing it down and figuring out his calories, fat and fiber! If I wanted to do that again.................I'd be doing my own!
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 February 2008 09:03 pm |
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I am praying for you and your hubs. I hope you get the test results back soon.
I remember how agonizing it was for me waiting for my results. Did they say how long it would take?
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 February 2008 09:07 pm |
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Sassykat,
I remember waiting after a lumpectomy...........and they tested the lump. It was agonizing to wait. He seems to be doing OK with it..........I am just praying for strength to keep trusting God, and not let Satan tempt me into worrying!
The surgeon said it would take about a week...........so mid-week sometime.
Hey, how's Gary today? I love that you named your gallbladder! What a hoot
All prayers ALWAYS appreciated.....................and needed!
Last edited on 11 February 2008 09:08 pm by Hisgal
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 February 2008 10:44 pm |
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Hisgal wrote: Sassykat,
I remember waiting after a lumpectomy...........and they tested the lump. It was agonizing to wait. He seems to be doing OK with it..........I am just praying for strength to keep trusting God, and not let Satan tempt me into worrying!
The surgeon said it would take about a week...........so mid-week sometime.
Hey, how's Gary today? I love that you named your gallbladder! What a hoot
All prayers ALWAYS appreciated.....................and needed!
Thank you for the support in my naming my gallbladder. Since then, I have been questioning my sanity, but since it tickles you, I feel ok about it. I guess if people don't find it funny, then maybe I should think about having my head checked out.
Satan nevers seems to get tired of causing us to worry and have anxiety. Sigh!
Maybe if you can recognize some of those thoughts, tell yourself they are not of you and send them away.
I pray in Jesus' name that all anxiety leave you and your husband, and that you be filled with the peace and love that is Jesus and Our Father. He does not mean for you to be hurt or worried. You and your husband are always in His care.
I think it is beautiful how much you love your husband. Your relationship sounds like a special one and something to be cherished.
It's ok to complain. Maybe when we voice our worries it can help us let go of some of that anxiety. And it is good to share with others. We need to join together in compassion and friendship.
By the way, Gary had a juicy hamburger with cheese and avacado for lunch today. He's still not in perfect health, I had some dull aching and about 30 sec of stabbing, but not too bad considering that was the fattest meal I could think of to eat. Another week of extra fatty meals and I should be able to tone down the cholesterol and balance things out a little better. I want to add some more healthy fats, like nuts, olives and avacados. I wonder if they make the gallbladder contract as much as the saturated fats?
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 February 2008 11:47 pm |
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Sassykat wrote:
I pray in Jesus' name that all anxiety leave you and your husband, and that you be filled with the peace and love that is Jesus and Our Father. He does not mean for you to be hurt or worried. You and your husband are always in His care.
Thanks so much, Sassykat! I've been saying a very similar prayer.........often!
Sassykat wrote:
I think it is beautiful how much you love your husband. Your relationship sounds like a special one and something to be cherished.
You know, Sassykat, it is to be cherished! And it is a special relationship! We aren't perfect, and we don't expect it of our marriage..........but I often compare it to our relationship to the triune God............we aren't perfect in God's eyes either, just forgiven, through Christ's work on the cross. We just apply God's principals to our marriage. We've invited HIM into our marriage, and try to live it according to how HE tells us in HIS HOLY WORD, the BIBLE. Our Pastor did a wonderful Bible Class on marriage about 2 years ago! If only everyone approached marriage God's way........it would be the beautiful relationship that God intended it to be!
If you ever run across the book "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George, please read it! It helped me to change my attitude and actions........and has greatly improved our marriage also. I kept thinking that "if only my husband would......." and I found that by changing me, and how I treated him, he changed too. And we grew closer and more in love than ever. I remember how much in love I thought I was on our wedding day..............it's nothing compared to how I feel now!
I'm so glad Gary is starting to treat you right! It's about time! Let's keep all those supplements and herbs coming! Whatever works It's so awfull to not feel good! I just had a horrible headache over the weekend........and that was enough for me! Our health is just such a precious gift!
Thanks so much for being there for me! You are still in my prayers too! 
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 February 2008 12:19 am |
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OK, I've been journaling my hubs food since last Thursday..........I figured I'd better journal mine too!
I've gone back to WL4I........it's a good plan for me when I am busy and stressed. I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat.........I just follow the menu. I am doing the newer version this time.
Wed., Feb. 6: 2 serv. Egg Beaters, 1% cottage cheese, 2 slices lean ham, 2 fresh grapefruit sprinkled with chopped walnuts, frozen low-fat yogurt
Thurs., Feb. 7: Oranges, grapefruit, grapes, pear, 2 apples, honeydew, deli turkey on 2 slices of Norweigen Health Bread, fat-free mayo, onion, lettuce
Friday, Feb. 8: 3 serv. Egg Beaters w/salsa, 1% cottage cheese, 2 slices of lean ham, fat free cream cheese, onion, 2 small strips of unbreaded ckn breast, 3 serv. green beans, lettuce salad, chopped walnuts, 3 T. low fat drsg., 1 glass cabernet, 8 oz. V-8 (not mixed together )
Sat., Feb. 9: 3 serv. Egg Beaters w/salsa, 1 ckn strip, broccoli, carrots, onion, snap peas, cottage cheese, ham slices, orange juice, milk, fat free yogurt, 1-1/2 c. frozen tropical fruit
Sun, Feb. 10: 3 serv. Egg Beaters w/salsa, tuna, fat free mayo, onion, pickle relish, 3 serv. lettuce, radishes, carrots, chopped walnuts, low-fat rasp-walnut drsg., raw walnut halves
Monday, Feb. 11: 3 serv. Egg Beaters w/salsa, 1% cottage cheese, ham slices w/fat-free cream cheese, raw walnuts halves, old fashioned oatmeal, apple, chopped walnuts
And lots and lots of water every day!
Last edited on 12 February 2008 12:23 am by Hisgal
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Paint-Mom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 February 2008 02:27 pm |
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Pat - I know you and your hubby will deal with the task of eating as healthy as you can! I know full well your fears!
I pray your days will be full of quality and life experience. Bless you and I send up prayers of protection. . . . daily!
 Sherry
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 February 2008 04:53 pm |
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Thanks for the prayers, Sherry I can feel all the prayers from all my wonderful online buddies...........I've been able to keep the worry at bay, and just trust that God is in control...........no matter what the test results are. Living in HIS Son-shine!
I was so proud of the hubs yesterday. They had a catered lunch for all the guys that worked on the remodel (a Mayo Clinic satellite clinic building) which was the last project that he worked on, before he got laid off. I figured he'd use the excuse that he didn't have a choice, as to what to eat. So, he chose BBQ chicken over the pork, had a 1/2 c. or less of the coleslaw, and chose baked beans for his other side. He has also been doing a lot of reading on nutrition........so maybe there's hope yet, that he'll learn something about nutrition and healthy food choices 
Now, onto my week...........after all, it's my diary. Seems like I'm talking a lot about the hubs in here! Ah well, he's a part of me
I got back on the wagon last Wednesday, and have been doing well. I decided to weigh in on Tuesdays.............I don't know why, I just like to do it on Tuesdays, always have
Feb. 6: 196.8 lbs.
Feb. 12: 188.6 lbs
I know that is not all fat.............I ate junky before I started, so there was a lot of water weight, I'm sure. Also, right now I just started TTOM, and my fingers are swollen this morning (rings tight)........so maybe next week will be a good weigh too?? Of course, last month, TTOM lasted 2 WEEKS!
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 February 2008 06:23 pm |
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Hey there Hisgal,
Sounds like you are doing really well with your eating plan again - that's great!
And your hubs is trying - wonderful!
I think I will look into finding that book you mentioned. Thanks for recommending it.
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Theresa
Senior Member
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Posted: 13 February 2008 07:55 am |
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| Wow! I am sooooo jealous. Keep it up. You will be back down to your goal weight in no time at all. I am so glad that you are out of your down time emotionally and in your down time weight wise Last edited on 13 February 2008 07:56 am by Theresa
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 February 2008 12:47 am |
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Sassykat,
The book is available in paperback..........and there's a workbook that you can buy with it, if you want. We used both in the Women's Bible study I went to. I think there are enough study questions in the book, that you don't really need the workbook.
So how are you and "Gary" getting along?
Theresa,
I sure do hope I get this weight back off again! I know I will, it's just a matter of sticking with it. I know from experience, I need stick with it, and not make excuses to cheat! Lent is giving me a good boost with that. For Lent, I am giving up anything that isn't on my eating plan! I should do pretty good for the next few weeks. The only thing is that, on WL4I, you do get 3 cheat days. But, I'm planning on only using 1 or 2 of them, so that I can re-start the next 11 day cycle on a Monday. And of course, with the hubs watching what he eats for his high cholesterol, I will plan on only making healthy foods on my cheat days. It's just that I will have a few of my faves then.....like bread and cereal, and just plan my own meals, instead of following my menu plan.
Each time TTOM comes around, and I don't go into a down spin emotionally, I thank God for it! I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop........and it hasn't yet.
Well, I'd better record what I've eaten the last few days, before I forget what it was!
Tuesday, Feb. 12: Egg Beaters w/salsa, 2 slices of ham w/ 1% cottage cheese, 4 unbreaded chicken strips w/ BBQ sauce, and my favorite food choice on the new WL4I plan...........frozen low-fat yogurt
Wednesday, Feb. 13: (veggie day) homemade veggie soup x 2, romaine, snap peas, avocado, tomato, onion, carrot, radish, crockpot veggie chili w/ TVP x 2, low-fat raspberry vinegrette (the meals would be Meal 1-veggie soup Meal 2-large salad, veggie soup Meal 3-large salad, veggie chili Meal 4-veggie chili
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soontobeme
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 February 2008 03:21 am |
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Hi Pat,
I thought I replied to your posting to me, but, it looks like I didn't. I have been so busy and waiting for test results, could be next week before they all come in and fighting the migranes and just trying to better myself. I am doing well with the eating, it is the exercise. I need to make myself do this, I have just gotten so lazy and I was told by the dr, that part of this is the low iron and it could take up to 3 months to not feel so exhausted. But, he told me to exercise anyway and I have been trying.........but, only half hearted, so will have to buckup and put my whole heart into the exercise. I think I will start with walking on my 15 min. breaks even if it is inside.
Glad to see you are trying to stay on the horse so to speak. My prayers are with you.
Judy
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 February 2008 07:38 pm |
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Hi everyone!
Just wanted to stop in and say thanks for your prayers and thoughts My hubs got his test results back, and the polyps came back NEGATIVE for cancer cells I know they usually do, but it is such a relief to see it in black and white, you know?
And he's doing very well at his eating! I did his averages last night, and he's averaged about 1750 calories a day..........and the last few days his fat intake has been less than 20% of his total calories The few days this past week, that it was higher, were days when I cooked with olive oil or he ate more nuts. He's having a serving of almonds each day, and 1/2 serv. of chopped walnuts on his oatmeal! I am so proud of him! Now we are working on the water  consumption! And making the fiber come from more whole foods...........instead of the Fiber One cereal he has for a snack. I am looking forward to us doing this together! If only he keeps on reading and learning. I am convinced that the best way to keep him on track, is for him to understand why he needs to eat the things he does. There was a time, I didn't think I could wean him almost totally off red meat.............and he swore he'd never eat anything but "Wonder Bread"...........but that has changed over the last few years, so I think there is hope for this too!
Judy , glad to hear you are doing well with the eating! That's a big part of the battle, you know? I don't imagine you have any better walking weather in northern WI than I do in southern MN??? I had good intentions this noon, but 18 degrees with a 10 mph breeze just wasn't what I had in mind. I walked around downtown for my errands, instead of driving to the mall and discount stores, but it still wasn't much of a walk! Enough to get my toes and fingers cold though!  So when the test results all come back, do they mail them to you? Or will you go back in to discuss them with your Dr.? My prayers are with you too, my dear. Let me know when you figure out what's up and where you go from here. It's so hard to wait, isn't it?
I am varying slightly from "the plan" tonight, being it's Valentine's Day. I told Pastor's wife that I was skipping Women's Bible Study to spend the evening with my hubs. With all the long days I put in, he's being neglected...........and getting lonely, I think, when he's home so much while he's laid off. So we are grilling boneless center-cut pork chops tonight (all the fat trimmed off), and baking sweet potatoes. He picked up a movie..............so we will spend some time together tonight! ABOUT TIME!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!
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Paint-Mom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 February 2008 08:51 pm |
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Pat - Enjoy the dinner and movie date with your special hubby! I ask my DH to pick either steak or pork chops for grilling tonight -- and of course, baked sweet potato and a green salad!
Blessings to you dear!
Last edited on 14 February 2008 08:52 pm by Paint-Mom
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soontobeme
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 February 2008 11:50 am |
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Hi Pat,
The doctor's nurse will actually call me with my results once the doctor has gone over them, and if there are any special insturctions she gives them to me then, or if it is not good news he will have me make an appointment to go over the results with him personally. Sometimes it is nice to live in a small town. Well, I ate a little more than I should of last night. My husband took me to a small classy restaurant last night and we had the date night special, which is any dinner entree for both of us, 2 glasses of wine and desert and then 2 tickets to the movie and a free popcorn. I ordered the tenderloin and shrimp(grilled) w/the baby red potatoes and mixed stir fried vegi's. Well I only meant to eat 1/2 the steak and all of the shrimp and vegi's and pototae. Well, I ate everything. The desert was bread pudding in rum sauce. Well I have never had bread pudding so I thought that I would try it, I ate half of it, and then some of the popcorn during the movie..............ouch......not sure yet how this hurt my scale. The steak was 8 ounces. I really did enjoy my nice dinner and the movie with my hubby though, we don't really get out much with him back at school now. It was nice.
Hope you had a nice evening with your hubby.
Judy
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 February 2008 05:40 pm |
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Judy
So glad to hear you had a nice dinner with the hubs. That time together is so important!
We had a nice evening too. We stayed at home, as planned. I totaled up the hubs numbers this morning. Even with our Valentine's dinner (grilled center cut pork loin chop {all visible fat trimmed off}, shared a baked sweet potato, Captain and diet Coke for him, red wine for me, 1 serv. whole grain crackers w/hummus, and one chocolate) hubs stayed under 1850 calories for the day, and about 25% fat {mostly good fats}. I just pray he will stick with it!
After we finished the movie, we went online and ordered a home cholesterol/triglyceride tester. That was our gift to each other! I got a bouquet of flowers, and he got subscriptions to Men's Health (for his physical health) and LARGE PRINT Portals of Prayer (for his spiritual health). A very good evening!
I was praying for you on the way home from work last night, and again on the drive in this morning. Let me know how it's going! Here's praying it will be good news!
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 February 2008 07:53 pm |
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| Hisgal - it was fantastic to read your hub's test results were negative!!!!! I can only imagine the huge relief you both felt. It sounds like you're having a wonderfully positive effect on his eating, too! Go you!!! Maybe there is hope for my own hubs?
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 February 2008 04:25 am |
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Thanks, Scoobs! Sometimes our hubbies have to get hit on the side of the head.....or have their health threatened.........before they sit up and pay attention! Just like US! I am hoping we have a positive affect on each other!
I finished my 11 day cycle on WL4I............so I weighed and measured.
Wed. Feb 6: 196.8 lbs.
Sat. Feb. 16: 189 lbs.
Inches lost: Bust=none Waist=1/2" Tummy=1" Hips=1-1/2" R Thigh-1-1/4"
L Thigh=3/4" R Arm=1/4" L Arm=1/4"
I think, being I'm trying to do a eating plan based on ETL for the hubs, in order to bring his high cholesterol down, that I will do that also now. The thing I really like about WL4I is that my tummy always shrinks when I'm on it! I think it's the low carb days that does it. However, I do really love my carbs  and being I had 2 "cheat" days over the weekend............well, they weren't real cheat days, I guess. I ate only healthy foods..........but had more whole grains than I'd had the last 11 days.......oooops, it was only 10 days........I started on a Wed. and wanted to finish for the weekend.
I made a batch of cookies today..........and tried to make the recipe healthier. I used light butter and applesauce, banana, oatmeal, oat bran, raisins, almonds, walnuts, pecans, whole wheat flour and only 1 egg. They actually taste pretty good...........and each cookie is: 66 cal. 1.7 gr. fat (1 gr. good fat) 1 gr fiber
Last edited on 19 February 2008 01:01 am by Hisgal
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 February 2008 12:50 am |
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I see that I didn't write down Thursday and Friday's foods. I will have to do this from memory...........not a good thing 
Thursday: Egg Beaters, unbreaded ckn strips w/BBq sauce, grapefruit w/ chopped walnuts, orange, 4 oz. fat free yogurt, and then our Valentine's dinner.....6 oz. grilled center-cut pork chop (all fat trimmed off), 1/2 baked sweet potato w/ Benecol spread, 1 oz. whole grain crackers w/hummus, 1 glass cabernet, 1 choc. valentine's candy
Friday: veggie chili, 4 unbreaded chicken strips w/BBQ sauce, orange, 1/2 bag stir-fried veggies, 2 chicken strips, smoothie (orange juice, milk, yogurt, frozen tropical fruits)
I ended my WL4I cycle on Saturday, and ate my "cheat days"
Saturday: 1 c. Kashi Go-Lean cereal, 1 C light soy milk, 1 whole grain english muffin with natural chunky peanut butter w/omega 3's, 1 tsp strawberry spread, apple, 3 serv fire roast veggies, 1 slice ham (70 cal), wg english muffin w/ pb & j, unbreaded chicken strip, california veggies, fat free ckn soup, brown rice, 1 glass caberent, ss low fat popcorn, smoothie (orange juice, milk, yogurt, strawberries)
Sunday: Kashi Go-Lean, w/lt soy, wg english muffin w/pb & j, 1/2 apple, 1/2 pear, fire roast veggies w/diced ham, 2 serv. vegetarian baked beans, 6 cookies (my converted recipe-but still too many), 1/3 bag stir fry veggies w/1 ckn strip, and 1 c. brown rice, Kashi Go-Lean cereal w/ 1 c. lt soy milk, 1 Valentine'd chocolate
Monday: Kashi Go-Lean cereal, 1 c. lt soy milk, wg english muffin w/pb & J, grapefruit, veggie chili, 1 slice Norweigen Health bread, lt cream cheese, 1 orange bell pepper, veggie chili, 1 sl. NH bread, lt cream cheese.............not sure if I'll have anything more when I get home from work.
Tomorrow is weigh in day...........will find out then, if I gained from my "cheat days" over the weekend.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 February 2008 03:08 pm |
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Tuesday, Feb. 6: weight 196.8 lbs
Saturday, Feb 16: weight 189 lbs (after 10 days of WL4I)  7.8 lbs.
Tuesday, Feb. 19: weight 188 lbs. 1 lb.
Now the good news/bad news..............we are going on a little vacation! I am so excited, it finally seems like it's coming together! Yessssss! My hubs is laid off yet, and he said it was the only time he could go and get paid...........even if it is an unemployment check We had originally intended to fly to AZ to visit his parents. But, his aunt and uncle left Sunday for the same reason, and are going to be gone 2 weeks. So, they will have the spare room. We can't afford airfare, hotel and car rental! The rooms out there are atrocious! So, we are driving to Branson, MO. I'll always wanted to go there, and it's much cheaper this time of year. It won't be as warm as AZ, but after single digit high temps this week in MN, those mid to upper 50's in Branson will seem positively tropical! And being this is such a high stress time at work, with long days at the office, I think it will be good for my mental health as well. I don't want to deal with those depression symptoms again anytime soon! 
So, the bad news part of this is that we are both doing so well at watching what we are eating...........what will a week's vacation do to that? That's the part that scares me a little. Although, we could be coming back lighter than when we left! If we watch what we eat, and encourage each other to make good choices........we should do OK. I think that because we are usually much more active when we are on vacation. And I hear there are hilly streets to walk in Branson.............should be good for the legs, huh?
Last edited on 21 February 2008 12:07 am by Hisgal
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Hisgal
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Posted: 21 February 2008 12:27 am |
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Tuesday, Feb. 19: Kashi Go-Lean, soy milk, wg english muffin, 1 serv. Egg Beaters, 1 sl. low-fat cheese, 4 rice cakes, veggie chili, baked beans, 6 olives, baby carrots, wg cookie
Wednesday, Feb. 20: Fiber One, soy milk, wg english muffin, 2 serv. Egg Beaters, 1 sl. low-fat cheese, Subway 6" veggie sub w/vinegar, 1/2 bag baked chips, light lemonade, 1 c. 1% cottage cheese, V-8, small banana, 2 wg english muffins, natural peanut butter
Have been trying to catch up at work, and get to a certain point before we leave for Branson tomorrow. So much to do..............hope the hubs can handle most of the packing! He normally does zilch when we go somewhere. I'm a little apprehensive about putting this in his hands, but I don't have a choice, as I won't have time. Should be interesting! 
We booked our room last night, and I am so excited! We usually just stay in a moderately priced motel...........sometimes, with Priceline.com, we get an upscale room for a really good price. I was checking around the internet when I found a site, tripadvisor.com, that rates accomodations, and has customer reviews. I wanted to see some reviews of the hotel we were going to book. I found a link to a resort (condos) that was ranked the #2 accomodation in Branson of 145. I clicked on it for fun, and found they offered specials for Feb./March. Although I found they had plain rooms (motel-type) for $39/night, that included fridge and microwave.............I also found they had condos for a good price! We ended up booking a 1BR condo, with living room, 2 person jacuzzi , full deluxe kitchen, extra shower, fireplace, deck.......for $64/night. We never get anything that nice...........will be such a treat! Now we will have to force ourselves to leave the room and go see some of the shows!
I've been picking up some healthier snacks for the drive (about 10 hrs for us), to keep us awake. And I got a couple of cases of water too. I'm excited! 
Last edited on 21 February 2008 07:37 pm by Hisgal
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Sassykat
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Posted: 21 February 2008 01:21 am |
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| That sounds awesome Hisgal! I hope you guys have a wonderful trip. After the winter you've had it will be good to relax and have some fun! Super!
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Theresa
Senior Member
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Posted: 21 February 2008 07:21 am |
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| Take me with, take me with! I wanna come too!!! You deserve a nice break away and if I can't come with just have a ball anyway!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 February 2008 07:47 pm |
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Awwwwww, ladies! We will have a wonderful time, just because we are getting away from it all I wish it would be a bit warmer in Missouri..........but we will have our jackets.
I had a funny thought..........wouldn't it be a hoot to all have a weekend together, with our CPH online buddies? It would be so weird, because I feel like I know so many people here, but we'd walk in the room and not know who anybody is!
Thursday, Feb. 21: Curves cereal, soy milk, turkey bacon, 1 strawberry, 1.5 cups fresh pineapple, veggie chili, V-8, Norweigen Health bread w/low-fat cream cheese
That's it so far today..................have a wonderful weekend everyone, and I'll check in when I get back (Wednesday???)
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2008 12:14 am |
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Hi all, I'm back
We had a great time in Branson The condo we rented was awesome.......all I'd hoped it would be.........the shows we saw were great............the food wasn't bad either. We had a few splurges, but ate much healthier than we ever have on vacation before.............but still too much at times! However, I am having an awful time getting on track now that we are back
Do you know what today is???? It is the first day of week 4 of my period! Three full weeks of it...........and I'm starting the 4th. If any of you out there have words of wisdom, I'd appreciate hearing them! Or words of commiseration or comfort??? And is this having anything to do with my having so much trouble getting my eating under control?
I suppose I could take comfort from the fact that many people on this site are struggling too...............but I'd rather see us all dropping the weight consistantly each week! HELP!
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2008 01:34 am |
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I am so glad you guys had a nice trip and enjoyed yourselves. And from what you wrote in my diary, it sounds like you are both doing great at getting those healthy fats into your diet. That's wonderful.
As far as your period... I can't even imagine. It must be horrible. I am so sorry. I can't even stand having it for a week! I don't really know anything about menopause, but, isn't that one of the signs? My own logic wouldn't think it would be due to your eating, but... I know that phytoestrogens can change a person's body. I've heard that soy has estrogen. I don't know about 3-4 week periods though. Sheeesh!
Fish oil does help with cramps though. I have been taking it everyday and in the past when I didn't take it, sure enough my cramps got worse.
Hopefully you get some relief soon! Maybe after this you will get an extra long break from it.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2008 01:53 pm |
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Sassykat wrote:
Hopefully you get some relief soon! Maybe after this you will get an extra long break from it.
Now that's a happy thought!
I do take a soy capsule (which almost eliminates the night sweats, as long as I take it faithfully) and I use soy milk on my Fiber One for breakfast. So, I am getting soy, but I have been doing this for several years. So, I'm not sure that it would suddenly make a difference?
We are going to the Home and Garden show today at the Minneapolis Convention Center. Hubs has been planning this for weeks, he is so excited! At least it will mean some walking!
Last edited on 1 March 2008 02:33 pm by Hisgal
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2008 06:46 pm |
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I agree, if you've been taking and eating those soy products for years they shouldn't be making a difference now. I only mentioned that because it was the only knowledge I have stored in my brain of food affecting hormones. Do you think this is linked to what you went through around Christmas time? Maybe your body is changing and this is part of what it has to go through. If so be sure and publish a manual so the rest of us know what to expect.
Boy that home and garden thing sounds like something I would like! We don't have anything like that around here - what fun! Our property is still full of snow with just a few parts where it has melted to be muddy. I'm getting some serious spring fever though!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 March 2008 02:00 pm |
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Sassykat,
I'm sure this is all connected to the depression that started Thanksgiving weekend, and all that followed. I've heard about this happening to other women......in fact, as a young girl, I'm sure it happened to own of my aunts. I should do some asking around the office. We are all pretty close for an office group, and share our joys and sorrows. I'm just hoping this means it's almost an end to TTOM! Yah! 40 years of it seems to be enough for anyone, in my book! I'm just not liking all the stuff you go through at the end!
The Home and Garden Show was pretty awesome. If you have some projects you want done, or just want to see the latest and greatest...........you could find it there. I should have looked around more, but I sat at the cooking stage for most of the day. They had such good demonstrations! One was on healthy eating, and I swear the personal trainer that did it, looked like a younger version of Jillian Michaels, from the Biggest Loser. There were a couple of different chefs, who were very interesting, as they threw in a lot of tips and hints along the way. And the best part, we all got to taste test the foods they cooked!
Whoops! It's later than I thought...........got to get ready for Bible Class and church.
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Theresa
Senior Member
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Posted: 3 March 2008 07:47 am |
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| Im so glad your trip went lovely. I really feel for you for what you have been going through and unfortunately don't have any advice to give but to just let you know that you are in my thoughts and have all my sympathy.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 March 2008 12:47 am |
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Thanks, Theresa! I'm ready to go again........vacations are so nice!
I guess I just have to accept what's happening to my body But, I'd love to get rid of these TTOM cravings that I've had for 3.5 weeks now! I feel so out of control here! I know I will eventually get it back under control.......I'm just not sure when. And now my tennis elbow has started acting up again, so I probably won't be going back to Curves anytime soon. I've had to start wearing the counterforce brace again and taking some Advil.
I need to make time for some abdominal DVD's! Or if this weather would ever turn around, I could at least start walking regularly again! It's just hard when I'm at the office late most every night. Well, it's 6:45 and I'm going home a little earlier tonight, as I promised the hubs that I'd actually cook supper tonight......no frozen dinners for him today!
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 March 2008 12:50 am |
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Hey Hisgal!! I've been gone for awhile, just dropping in to say hi. Sounds like you had a fun trip recently...how fun!! My most recent trip was to Auburn...can't believe I'm going to college in five-ish months!!
Hope you're having a nice day!!
CG
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 March 2008 01:02 am |
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Hi Hisgal. I've been having hormone problems too. I've been very emotional and I've been feeling real down since yesterday. My puppy chihuahua died in a bad snow storm we got. The boys took her outside to go to the bathroom, let her out there a few minutes, then when we went to bring her back inside she was gone. A terrible bliazzard came up. We all searched for her for 2 hours. Finally my husband found her, but it was too late. She was my little buddy. I've never grieved over a pet like this before. I just can't seem to stop thinking about her and can't seem to stop crying.
And we bought girl scout cookies. I think I've eaten a whole box of caramel delights.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 4 March 2008 07:28 am |
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Just popped into your diary to say "hello" and see how you were doing. Sorry about the seemingly never ending TOM (I can't imagine - my worst nightmare practically) and hope it gets resolved soon. It does sound like menopause (or at least pre-menopause) doesn't it?...reminds me of stories one of my aunts and my grandmother both told about how they got pregnant in their late 40's.....they had these long periods and then they became erratic and finally stopped altogether for months - and that's how my youngest uncle and one of my cousins appeared!
Anyway, your trip sounds wonderful...and no matter what it feels like outside (even my part of Florida is kinda yuckky right now), remember, the calendar says "spring is almost here!"
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 March 2008 03:32 pm |
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It does sound like menopause (or at least pre-menopause) doesn't it?...reminds me of stories one of my aunts and my grandmother both told about how they got pregnant in their late 40's.....they had these long periods and then they became erratic and finally stopped altogether for months - and that's how my youngest uncle and one of my cousins appeared!
Oh..........my...........goodness
DON'T EVEN THINK IT!
But, thanks Suenos, for checking in! Wish I had some progress to report! Hopefully soon
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Beth
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 March 2008 12:23 am |
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| Hisgal, I think I've finally made it through menopause at 54. It has been awful having periods since I was 10. I tried one month on the hormones last year and had my last hideous period (caused by the hormones) and immediately got off the hormones. I am convinced they would have killed me. So, here I am. Intact, no hysterectomy they wanted to do, no more periods. Divine. It's just divine. All that is left are the hot flashes. I can deal with that! Hang in there!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 March 2008 05:26 pm |
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Hi Beth, thanks for the input! Especially now, when you are worried about your hubs and his tests!
I am going to be 53 this year, so we are not too far apart in age. I think today started TTOM again, even though it's never stopped. Crabby, tender breasts, (for a couple of days) and then today headache...........now cramping, and things are getting heavier again.
Beth, I have wondered what my Dr. would do if I went in, but I figured it would be hormones, and I really didn't want that! I appreciate your comments. I was hoping that someone who had gone through something similar would pop in and tell me about it. I am going to put up with it for a bit, if my hubs will (hahaha)! He's not liking this AT ALL! I told him he should be me, putting up with it for 4 weeks straight! I don't want to go the surgical route either...........so I guess I'll wait it out. It's just that I feel like I'm in a constant state of cravings and crabby It's maybe good for my marriage that I am at work long hours this time of year!
The problem is that my clothes are getting tighter, and spring is around the corner (maybe??? we are still in single digits and below zero lows for a few days-maybe spring isn't coming to MN this year?) I need to conquer these cravings and get on track! Hopefully I can pull it off soon
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 March 2008 11:35 pm |
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Well, I'm starting back on track slowly....................
A friend of my son's, also age 26, was in a snowmobile accident almost 2 weeks ago. He lived until he got to the ER, even though his Dr.'s said most people wouldn't have made it that far. He is paralyzed from mid-chest and down, a broken leg, had a halo inserted because of a fractured C2, has 4 fractured thoracic vertebrae, has recently gotten off the ventilator, is battling pneumonia, is learning to breathe without using abdominal muscles, has an exhausting day if he just has to sit up in a chair a few times, will face months of therapy, and has no idea yet if the paralysis is temporary or if he will ever be able to walk again........
I think of the hurdles this young man has to face.............oh yeah, he's engaged to be married in September of this year. Why in the world can't I do something as simple as control my eating? I've done it before! I am giving into my cravings......eating foods I shouldn't............or more than I should of the healthy foods...........and I am putting on weight. What is wrong with me? What are my hurdles compared to Ryan's?
So, today started out not too good  .............I had a light enlish muffin w/natural p.butter about 6:00...........then the office went out for breakfast and I had a Denver omelette w/ hash browns and wheat toast around 8:30 .............a big handful of trail mix before I ran errands over my lunch hour...........for lunch I had an Arby's Marketfresh turkey sandwich, and oj..........snack was 1/2 carton of raw mushrooms, apple and fat free vanilla yogurt ..........dinner will be a Healthy Choice frozen meal at the office, while working. A few baby steps in there...............sure beats the junk I've been eating for the last week! Oooops..........I forgot I had a couple of candy canes to suck on.
BTW, if you believe in God and the power of prayer, I'm asking that you keep Ryan, his fiance, parents and family in your prayers. I can only imagine how exhausted his parents are...........first emotionally............and secondly by the hours without sleep, waiting through several surgeries, and for a few minutes when they were allowed to see their son. They have all been mostly upbeat through all of this, and praising God for every tiny victory. Their faith will bring them through it............but I know they'd welcome any prayers that could come their way too!
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 March 2008 06:23 pm |
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I will pray for Ryan. My heart goes out to him and his family. I'm so sorry.
I actually came here to ask you if you have looked up Milk thistle. It is suppose to support and cleanse the liver. It also is suppose to help with hormones, and gall bladder and cholesterol! I decided to look it up again and have done some reading on it this morning. While reading that it can help with melancholy problems, hormone problems and gall bladder problems oh, and lower bad cholesterol and raise good cholesterol, you, your hubs, me and my hubs also came to mind.
I have a friend who has liver disease and she swears by milk thistle. She sees a liver specialist and has verified her liver tests have improved greatly while taking milk thistle. One year she didn't take it and her test showed her liver getting worse again. The next year she took it daily and her liver tests improved greatly - up to normal levels. Liver disease runs in her family.
So I thought I would give it a try. It will probably make my gall bladder pain worse at first because it stimulates bile production and will stimulate my gall bladder, but after what I have read, it sounds very promising. I think it would be a really good thing for my husband to try also. He needs the cholesterol help, and he takes lots of prescription meds for his heart, that's got to be affecting his liver. I will see what more information I can find before I recommend that he try it though. I am trying to be extra careful, but I really want to get Gary fixed once and for all!
I just wanted to share with you, in case you might be interested in looking it up.
I will pray for Ryan over the weekend. You take care sweetie!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 March 2008 08:01 pm |
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Sassykat,
Thanks so much for your prayers for Ryan. He's been having small victories each day, for which his parents are praising God. But, his fever keeps coming back......they were doing more tests on him today, to see if there is some problem relating to the surgeries, although the incisions seem to be OK. Such a long road and big hurdles to get through for one so young!
Actually, thanks for the reminder about the milk thistle! My hubs and I were on it for several years, about 4 years ago. My chiro recommended it when my hubs' cholesterol was high. At the same time, my liver function test after my physical came back lower than the norm...........so we both went on it. His cholesterol went down some, and my liver function test was in the middle of normal on the next check. We discontinued it because my chiro didn't recommend taking it for an extended period of time......right now I can't remember how long was the max she recommended. I think one or two years. I'll try to remember to ask her next time I go to see her.
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 March 2008 10:50 pm |
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Oh Cool! You and your hubby have already tried the milk thistle. I wonder why a person shouldn't take it for a long time though. Gee my friend has taken it for a long ole time... 4-5 years I think. She takes it faithfully everyday. And she gets her liver tested every year. It would be good to know why it shouldn't be taken long term. I haven't found anything stating that so far. But searching for information on the internet can be tiresome and grueling. It seems so since Gary's been sick anway. And most of the place that provide information on the herb are companies that are also selling it. So you often wonder about the credibility of that information.
Well I'm glad you already had an experience with the milk thistle. I hope it helps my gall bladder!
I prayed for your friend while I exercised today. I hope he continues to make improvements, heal and get better. I hope his fever goes down soon, and nothing serious comes of that. I'll keep praying for him.
How are you feeling? Have "things" let up any?
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 March 2008 11:39 pm |
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Sassykat wrote:
How are you feeling? Have "things" let up any?
Unfortunately, no Now that it's been 4 weeks...........the "real thing" is started again Headache, cramps, bloating, and even more intense cravings Oh Joy! And I'm working for a while tonight...........and someone brought in a bag of potato chips and left them in the kitchen downstairs! I'm doomed!
The other problem is that my tennis elbow has really started bothering me again the last several weeks. I'm back to wearing my counterforce band. So, I'm thinking no CURVES for a while yet I keep saying I need to get back to some kind of workout, but never find the time to do it. I'm up at 5:30 most mornings, and just have so many things I need to do around the house before I go to work, that I barely make it in to work on time. And at night, it's after 7:30 when I get home.....by the time I make dinner, I'm falling asleep in my recliner.
However, next week is actually suppose to get back to near normal temps.........so I'm planning on some walking I just can't make myself do it on days like today, when it started out at 6 degrees below zero and never got above 10 degrees!
Today's food so far: Fiber One cereal w/soy milk, 4 wheat crackers, 6" Subway chicken breast on oat bran w/sweet onion sauce & 1/2 bag baked chips, 1 serving "real" potato chips...............plan for dinner: stir fry veggies w/chicken on brown rice.
I figure I am still posting here, visiting other diaries, and at least thinking hard about a plan, healthy eating, weight loss and exercise. I'm not giving up and going away. I'm letting all my online buddies keep inspiring me. Someday soon I will be back at it in earnest.............then WATCH OUT!
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Beth
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 March 2008 03:54 am |
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Pat, I've been reading some about ETL and saw where you were doing it in 06. Did you quit drinking coffee? I think that may be the one thing I can't and won't give up unless someone convinces me I will die if I keep drinking it.
I just wondered if you tried to quit, did quit, etc.
Beth
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 March 2008 12:48 am |
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Beth,
I posted in your diary..........but for the rest of you..........I did give up coffee for years. I don't remember for sure if I was drinking it when I ate ETL........but my guess would be very little and it would have been decaf, if I did drink it. Just got hooked on the caffeine again last year when I never seemed to have a moment to myself........including enough time to sleep.
Well, we've had beautiful weather here in MN today......it is almost 7:00 p.m. and it's still 50 degrees...............yes, I said 50 degrees!!! Some of you may think that's cold, but we had lows below zero over the weekend, so this is some kind of heatwave to us!
And that means..........WALKING! YEAH!!!! I walked on Monday, but not too much, my ears and fingers started going numb...........it was 28 degrees, but the wind was blowing. Can you say, WINDCHILL? Today it was around 40 when I went out for lunch and did my walk.....much more pleasant!
Eating going very good...........starting to walk again.........should be a successful week!
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Beth
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 March 2008 12:55 am |
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Pat
Hope you've enjoyed your walks. You'd have loved being here today. It was probably high 60's. Spring is here. The buttercups are blooming. I played outside and actually washed a car and cleaned out my birdbath.
I guess I'll worry about the coffee deal another day. I've decided I probably won't do ETL perfectly. However, doing some of it should be very beneficial. I mean, gee, I'm drinking green colored smoothies! That'll do for today!
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