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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 13 December 2007 09:41 pm |
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So, it's almost a week since I posted.............being I'm not doing much by way of weight loss plans or exercise right now, I probably won't have much to post for a while. I just have too much to deal with right now, to think about weight loss. I've done this before..........I can re-focus and get the added weight off and get to goal. I have no doubts about that........no matter what my body or hormones are trying to do to me right now. I just know that I can't deal with it all at once.
Friday and Saturday were pretty good days, and then came Sunday.  I spent the hour of Bible Study trying to hold back the tears, and the church service wiping away the tears. I lost it totally on the drive home, and I think I scared the hubs. He'd always been at work before, when I'd had uncontrollable crying jags. Anyway, it was our Christmas celebration with the hubs family, and I knew it would be tough....it was the first time it wasn't on Christmas Eve, and his parents were leaving for AZ, for the winter, afterwards. Monday and Wed. were OK days.............then Tues. and Thursday were like I was finally back to my old self again.
However, I am getting apprehensive...........as next weekend should be TTOM again, and I am scared that I might go through this all over again. I am craving salt just something awful today, and yesterday. So, maybe it's not as far off as I think? Why do we women have to be blessed with this? It's such a struggle...........and then when we are gettting excited that the whole cycle is coming to an end, we get to deal with night sweats, hot flashes, memory loss, depression, mood swings, etc. Who wrote that song: "I Enjoy Being a Girl!", anyway???
I will still enjoy keeping up with all of your diaries, though. You will get me through this and back on the weight loss track again.............I know it. So many of you are inspirations to all of us!
THANK YOU!
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DeterminedGal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 December 2007 02:59 pm |
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Hang in there Pat! I hope the light shines bright for you in the coming days. Just remember "this too shall pass."
DG
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 December 2007 02:49 pm |
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Thanks DG! I will try to remember that  Approaching TTOM again, and was really down and crying on Saturday night and Sunday.......a little shakey this morning. Grrrrrrrrr! It's got to be those blasted hormones! I won't be too sad to see this phase of my life come to a close! Thanks for you thoughts and support.
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Paint-Mom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 December 2007 08:05 pm |
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Pat - MERRY CHRISTMAS! Think of Mary! I purchsed two Christmas music cd's with this song on it Mary Did You Know! I've been singing and singing -- and yes tears too!
My daughters friend (17yrs) just had a baby boy on Saturday! Unplanned pregnancy ! ! OH but what God can do with us at our weakest moments! Just rejoice in HIM --
Blessings dear one!
 GRAND-Mom (Sherry)
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 December 2007 10:41 pm |
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Thanks, Sherry
I love that song, too, by the way! It sure gets you thinking, doesn't it? I first heard it on a CD by a group called "Go Fish" I loved it the first time I heard it!
I know that when I am weakest, then He is strongest. But, it's hard to explain, unless you've felt it. The sadness is so deep, it's like nothing can overcome it. I just cling to my Savior to see me through it. There are now more up days than down days, for which I am thankful. I just wish I could see what was ahead...........there's a reason God didn't give us that ability, me thinks!
Merry Christmas to you too, my dear 
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 December 2007 05:04 pm |
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Hi Hisgal - just wanted to pop in and wish you a Merry Christmas! I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time right now...things can just get so overwhelming. Hopefully once the New Year starts, we can both get back on the ole track once again.
Merry Christmas and thanks for all the support you've given me!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 December 2007 12:52 am |
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Hi everyone!
I hope all had a Merry Christmas and will have a FANTASTIC New Year! I do pray that mine will be as well!
Paint-Mom and Scoobees............thanks for the Christmas wishes and the support!
I've been trying to catch up on the diary entries, and say "Hi" to a few newbies on the boards. It all takes time! But then, you all know that already 
I have now had 11 "up" days in a row, in which I have felt like my old self! ALRIGHT! I was a little weepy on Christmas Eve, but it was just that I missed having the kids around..........it wasn't that deep, deep sadness that I'd been battling for weeks before. I'd say the homeopathic remedy from my chiro has kicked in and is working. She says I shouldn't need to re-dose for a few months........and then only if I have problems again. To me, that is so much better than having to go on anti-depressants or hormone therapy of some kind. I am so relieved!
I am just drifting along with my eating plan.............actually, I don't have one right now  I am going to wait until the 2nd of Jan. and then be accountable enough to step on the scale, and report in here, what a  I've been. Then I will be back on the weight loss track. As long as my mood stays "up", and I don't have to deal with that, I will get back to work on losing this excess and heading to goal. I just hate to think how far I will have to go.........once again!
Oh well, as long as I do start over again, and don't let it keep drifting up. I need to be accountable again.
 Here's to the NEW YEAR and SUCCESS FOR ALL!
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 December 2007 02:08 am |
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Pat, I am so happy to hear you are doing better. I myself am still battling these infections. I went to the doctor again today. Being sick is getting old.
I've decided I need to think positively to help in my healing though. And I am so happy to hear you are doing better. You're even thinking about health and weight loss again! That's good news.
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 29 December 2007 06:15 am |
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maybe something positive is going around the forums. people seem to be getting back to thier old selves! so happy that things have been "up" for you lately!! just keep positive! everything works out ok in the end
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ObsessedwithFitness
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 December 2007 04:32 pm |
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Hi Pat! Belated Merry Christmas to you!!!!  (we should have xmas trees and a baby Jesus on here..ok ok, maybe a mistletoe..but then people would be making out and that would get scary..LOL)
I am trying to get caught up. As you know I can relate to your struggles and turning to God in prayer and for help and advice. It does work. And it does work out IN THE END. But sometimes, the waiting is what gets us, you know?? When I am depressed and cry uncontrollably as you said you have been dealing with recently..sometimes it helps to just get it out. Hubby always says everything I worry about (or at least 98% of it) doesnt happen anyway and all that worry was for nothing plus he said everything always does work itself out...and I hate to admit it, but we know he is right. Everything will be ok. You take care of yourself. When you are ready to track, get in the routine and report back, we will be here for you. We all understand what you are dealing with, and it does make it a little better that others are going through or have gone through the same things. (--Incidentally, I think thats why the Biggest Loser is sooooo successful-well, aside from the fact its on national television with a huge monetary prize if you win and you're half naked on the scale...) But they are working together towards personal goals and having others go through it with you is a key factor in success. Which is why Peter is so great for creating this site for us. (Thanks Peter!! )
Here's to a new beginning for us and shared support for our accomplishments no matter how small or large they may be!!
OWF
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clarinetgurl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 January 2008 06:28 am |
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HAPPYNEWYEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
               
CG
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 3 January 2008 02:28 am |
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Happy New Year, Hisgal!
Glad to read that you've been on a roll with your 'up' days lately - yay!!! Sounds like that remedy is doing the trick.
On to a wonderful new year - full of promise...and hopefully weight loss for us all, too.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 January 2008 12:42 am |
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Hi Scoobs,
WOW! With all the new members, if you don't post for a couple of days, you are almost off the first page!
Thanks for the New Year's wishes...........same to you, my dear! I hope this year is full of promise, for all of us I am having a really hard time getting back into the swing of things. I was so sure I would get back on plan..........some plan............after New Year's Day, but I've been stuffing my face all week 
That's got to stop! I am afraid to step on the scale..........but I so need to just do it! And I hope to go back to Curves on Monday. I just hope my elbow won't hurt. It would be too sad to go back and then find out that I can't handle it yet.
I need to get moving!
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 6 January 2008 09:23 pm |
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Off the page but always in our hearts!
We'll have to see if we can keep some of them around. It makes the forum better for us all.
Peter
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soontobeme
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 January 2008 11:08 am |
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Hi Pat,
I know exactly how you feel. I keep saying I am going to do it, but for some reason I am holding back. I think that we both need to refocus and think of our health and how much better we felt when we were doing it right.
Judy
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 January 2008 03:27 pm |
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You are right on, Peter ! It's nice to have so many new people Right now I need all the inspiration I can get............and hopefully, the new members will give it to me.
HI Judy.............so glad to hear you checked in I've still been thinking of you, and praying for you. I figured you were either struggling or overwhelmed at work again.
I just feel like I've got absolutely no motivation right now. It's a Monday morning, which usually does it for me.............but it's not happening this morning  Although I've had almost 3 full weeks of "up" days, I still feel a little shakey underneath. And this thing that started out as a cold, has turned into some kind of infection (maybe a touch of sinus?), and I run a low-grade fever every once in a while. It happened on Saturday (when I had planned on doing so many things to get ready for Christmas with the kids the weekend of the 18th). I slept almost all day on Saturday..........and all Friday night...........and all night Saturday. If I hadn't had a committment at church on Sunday (which included getting rid of one more title/job), I would have stayed home in bed that day too. The good thing, is that all that rest has me feeling like I've got a bit more energy this morning.
Judy , you are welcome to motivate me all you can! I am hoping that if I can regain my emotional and physical health all at one time, I will just pop back into my regular mode.............with weight loss the goal.
I decided I'm not heading to Curves yet today, or maybe not this week. I need to be able to breathe without coughing before I tackle serious exercise.
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sheltiemom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 January 2008 03:39 pm |
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| Hang in there, Pat. We're here when you need us!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 January 2008 03:28 am |
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Thanks, Sheltie! I know you are all there for me...........but I'm not doing much right now..........by way of weight loss........so not much to write.
But, I love trying to keep up in all the diaries
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Coy
New Member
| Joined: | 1 January 2008 |
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| Posts: | 11 |
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Posted: 11 January 2008 09:52 pm |
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Hi Pat!
Thanks for stopping by my diary- I really appreciate it.
Regarding your advice about taking things in small steps- I am doing that as well. I joined the challenge at the New Year - and set a HOPEFULLY attainable goal for myself. I know from the past that it's usually easier to drop the pounds at the beginning... so I really hope I stick to it!
Beyond that - I was thinking I might start going in terms of body weight percentage... Like trying to lose 2-3% of my body weight each month. That gives me mini-goals on a monthly basis.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 January 2008 05:27 am |
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Coy wrote:
I know from the past that it's usually easier to drop the pounds at the beginning... so I really hope I stick to it!
I agree, Coy! I have always found that too. I hope it will be true once again......I was hoping I'd never again be in the position to find out, but alas I am I am still eating whatever and whenever I want, and am feeling really yucky (lack of nutrition??) about it. I have Christmas with our kids coming up this weekend. I am really looking forward to having them all home, and finally giving them those beautifully wrapped gifts that are sitting here waiting for them. Then all this "junk" food    is going to be gone. To this point, as I recovered from my depression/hormonal mood swings..........I have had no interest in monitoring what I eat or to make any effort to control it. I am terrified of stepping on the scale, as I know I've gained mega pounds in the last month. Man I hate to put that in writing. And for days/weeks, actually, I've been disappointed that I feel no urge to return to my former healthy eating.
However, tonight, as I walked through the grocery store, I was almost drooling over the fresh fruits and veggies.......especially the veggies. Maybe I will get back on track???
I take a supplement called Vibe, it is a liquid supplement, listed in the PDR (physicians desk reference) as having the highest certified Oxygen Radical Absorbancy Capacity (ORAC) rating. The company that makes it, also has a product called Flex, which is to be support for joint health. I ordered it last week. I know the weight gain is due to no exercise.............I know I can find an excuse for anything, but I hate walking outside in the winter! I slip on the ice too often, and then my back gets out of adjustment, and I am in pain. That's why I joined Curves! And I want to get back, but I still get occasional sharp pains in my "tennis elbow". So, I wanted to try this supplement, to see if it would be what I needed to finally heal that up! I need my CURVES!
It's not only the weight gain.......as if that isn't awful enough.......but I feel sluggish, I can feel how much my hard earned muscles have deteriorated without the resistance training. I can hardly do the basic stretches.........and when I try, you can hardly call them stretches........more like slight movement!
I want the old me back............and I want back into my 10's.........not getting out of my 12's I don't much like me right now, or what I've done to myself....yet again
I am constantly battling about what kind of eating plan I am going back to. I lose so well with WL4I (or a high protein/low carb and cycling diet) and I also have done well with Eat to Live. Right now I am craving veggies, so that might be the route I go........unless I do an 11 day cycle to drop some of this water weight and a few pounds for inspiration, then switch to the low protein ETL for the long haul.
Well, whatever I choose, I am very close to just doing it! And getting off my backside and doing something!
Good night all 
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Theresa
Senior Member
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Posted: 15 January 2008 09:19 am |
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Hi Pat
Forget how you got there and what you have done to get where you are now, it doesn't matter and won't change anything. Just start again and forget the past. If you feel overwhelmed start the little baby steps. Just make one meal healthy at first, it will make a difference. Every tiny little bit actually counts. You don't have to excercise to lose weight, just eat healthily and at a bit of a deficit and the weight will come off. Remember the excercise just helps speed things up. Sometimes we are unable to do both so just do the one in the meantime. Remember all the little good things add up and end up being a lot of good things. It doesn't have to be a huge rush niether, rather go slow and don't overwhelm yourself. Accept that it will take time. Try find your happy medium and remember one extreme is as bad as the other. You will be ok! Remember to tell yourself that.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 January 2008 02:41 pm |
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Thanks, Theresa
I am taking very baby steps right now...............like starting with the thought process and mental preparation That's pretty slow for me, as I usually just dive in, and go full force at it.
This whole experience in late November/December feels like it's changed me. I'm not sure yet, whether it's a good change or not. I have let go of many obligations, to lessen the stress..........and I think that's very good. Now I have to let go of the guilt I feel for letting go of those obligations. But, for my own mental health, I needed to do it. 2007 was a year of total stress! I want 2008 to be a year to re-build ME! Physically and mentally................back to a whole, strong person again!
Thanks for your support
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 January 2008 06:38 pm |
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Hi Pat Sending you a blast from the past out of my diary as I was re-reading to remind myself where I have been. Have been lurking in my forums watched. I know you CAN get it back. Baby steps and attainable goals.
Lee,
I was reading back a little in my diary, and came across the comment you made to me, about even on the bad days, when I didn't journal the specifics, that I should at least write down what I did eat. I found myself doing that on Saturday, when I had my 2 cheat meals.
Thank you! There is something about writing it all down that helps me keep it in perspective. I don't feel like I needed to track the specifics on a cheat day. That's half the fun of it, I don't have to read the labels and get the calculator out. But, I felt good following your suggestion of itemizing what went in my mouth anyway.
You haven't posted for a while. Is everything going OK?
Pat (Hisgal)
 HUGS
Lee
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 January 2008 11:58 pm |
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Lee ,
..................Welcome back! So good to hear from you again!
Thanks for bringing my words back to me............I know I will get back on track. That's a given! The BIG QUESTION is when will I get back on track?
Having been there, I know my body is telling me I need to get back. I can tell it in the tight muscles, the lack of energy, the constant cravings, the expanding waistline, the decreasing muscle tone.............you name it, some part of my body is telling me that it is not liking this junk food, and it wants it's nutritionally sound diet back again!
Kudos to Nir, for the constant and consistent tracking of calories and nutrition. I hit the wall so hard with that.............I had done it for years, almost without thinking, and right now, everything in me still rebels against the thought of doing it again. And yet, part of me knows that it's the only way I can lose weight! I am trying so hard to unload the stress, and get away from anything extra for the year of 2008. I just don't know if I can do it again!
I think that's why I've been thinking along the lines of WL4I or ETL when I go back at it. Either one could be done with minimal tracking of food. I just can't micro-manage that part of my life. This year's theme is "Keep it simple and free of stress!" However, I will be stressed .................if I continue to gain weight, or don't lose what I've gained! So I have to do something. It's just that I've never been able to lose, without careful monitoring!
And so it goes............................................................
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Paint-Mom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 January 2008 04:41 pm |
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OK, Pat I'm a sissy here in Texas ! It's 50 degrees and wet, rainy! My how you ever get used to your freezing temps I don't know!!! I had a fire in the fireplace last night -- did my dvd walk and enjoyed it.
This is also my year to get it all together! I've been doing this constantly for a couple of years now -- its a constant battle. . . . but I'm stronger now -- more so than last year. I'm writing every morsel down & stepping up the exercise.
My first born - DD - is away studying Arabic in Morocco this semester. She will be there for her 21st BD next month. Grand baby will be one next month too! So many blessings in my life.
I'm livin' for Him! Praise God!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 January 2008 04:59 pm |
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Sherry,
I was thinking about Ty's birthday. My little Haley was 1 year old on Dec. 1 Oh what fun that was! You will have a ball with Ty at his party, I'm sure. It's so hard to not max out the credit card, and buy out the store for them! You know what she had the most fun with? The cards! Go figure...........here's all these neat toys and oh so cute, adorable clothes, and she wants the cards to play with!
The time goes so fast..........my oldest grandchild will be 7 in March and the other one 5 in February! Before I know it, I will be looking for a dress for their weddings Enjoy every minute with him, Sherry! You know, I bet they don't remember what they got for Christmas or birthday gifts from us, after a week or maybe even after a day. But, we went with them to Valley Fair (amusement park) for a very full day, a year and a half ago, and they still talk about that. Or we go to my dad's cabin in northern MN in the summer.........and they talk about those times too. It's our gift of time that they remember! That's a big part of why I feel it's time for me to let go of other obligations and spend time with the hubs, kids, and grandkids. That time is SO PRECIOUS!
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Paint-Mom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 January 2008 10:11 pm |
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Pat- you said it well! Its the time we spend with them that counts. I have designs for a playhouse made with cedar logs. I know he's to young now -- but it will make a darling addition to my landscape and a place where he can play and keep his John Deere tractor toys.
Our temp is going to 47 tomorrow - YIKES -- I'll be bundled up! and low of 30 degree at night!
Michelle works most evenings so I get supper & bedtime for Ty. Even though he wears me out -- I never tire of his sweet smile.
You have a wonder evening -- Praise God!
Blessings. / Sherry
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 22 January 2008 01:45 am |
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Hi Hisgal, how are ya feeling? I was thinking about you today when I was at Curves; is that elbow still giving you pain? I can only imagine how much you are missing those workouts...just like my knee problems and not doing Turbo Jam. Very frustrating.
I won't say I'm back on track, since every time I THINK I am it seems I fall off the very next day... so I'll just say everything has been good so far. I hope everything is for you, too.
Scoobs
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Paint-Mom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 22 January 2008 07:01 pm |
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Hi Pat, Hope your having a great day! With the windy/rainy weather I stayed indoors all weekend. I ate with moderation -- but didn't do much exercise (except run after baby). We all have colds/sinus infec. See my diary for a current pic baby. He started getting his balance and doing a lot of walking this weekend!
Blessings to you! /Sherry
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 January 2008 12:50 am |
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Hi Sherry! I took a peek at Ty in your diary. What a cutie! Don't they just grow up way too fast??? Can't hardly get mine to stand still long enough for a picture!
Hey, Scoobs! Thanks for thinking of me, and asking how I'm doing. I think the elbow is feeling a little better. I had been taking this new supplement, that I'd hoped would help the healing along a little faster. I really got off it this weekend, so I guess I start over again. You are suppose to take it twice a day, between meals.....and there seemed to never be a time when my stomach was empty! This was our Christmas weekend with our kids/grandkids..........finally!
But, 11 people in our house, for an extended weekend..........let's just say my patience got tested a bit??? I'd had it when I couldn't walk anywhere without stepping on Lego's or Micro-Mini's Besides which, they weren't even suppose to be upstairs where Haley (13 month old) could get at them and put them in her mouth! Well a little "pick-up" session took care of my patience level..........but my oldest daughter came down with a flu virus that morning, and I got it the next morning......a body aches all over, fever, chills, headache, I want to sleep virus! Thank goodness it was a short one, mostly over in 24 hours. But, it put a little dent in our time together. Before I knew it, it was time for everyone to head home on Monday evening, and the other daughter and SIL flew back to CO on Tuesday afternoon.
I am still coasting and probably gaining weight. Not good, I know. It's been weird ..............I got over the depression/mood swings/crying jags/crawl in a hole feelings about the third week in Dec. and started feeling much more my old self. I'd laugh again, and participate or even start conversations. But, all this time since, I've felt like I didn't care too much about anything. It's hard to describe..........
But, finally I am starting to care about the weight, the lack of exercise and other things in my life. Suddenly I realize how fat I look, how much weight I must have gained, and how out of shape I am. I've started some stretching, just because my muscles are so tight without the regular exercise. And I can hardly do the stretches anymore, muchless real exercise. I did some stretching today, and my elbow is not real comfortable tonight. I hope that doesn't continue! I need to move! I want to get back to CURVES!
Scoobs, you are so lucky that you've only gained back 12 lbs or so. I was up to 175, I think, last time I weighed. (That's up 20 lbs from June) And I wouldn't be surprised if I am up another 15 lbs from that. We are talking of going out to eat on Saturday night. We have a gift certificate from our godson's, to an absolutely out of this world Italian restaurant. So, I decided I wanted to do that before I started in with my healthy eating again. Because, once I start, there will be no Italian restaurants for a long time! I need to be very strict in tracking my food intake. This weight has to come off, as I need to fit into my spring clothes once Spring comes! I can't keep wearing these sweaters to hide the rolls of fat that I've gotten back.
You are all inspiring me so much! The more I read the diaries, the more I feel the need to get back to tracking my food, and being accountable. So, I will weigh this Monday morning...........no more putting it off! I have to see what the scale says, and take my medicine, as bitter as it will taste. Keep me going everyone!
I NEED YOU!
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soontobeme
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 January 2008 11:08 am |
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HI HisGal,
Just wanted to say HI in your diary......I haven't posted since that last post in my diary..........did reply to your's though......I am here for you and do keep up with the diary's and I pray for you everyday............sometimes...........we have those times in our life where we decide we can do it on our own and forget to include who is important, I forgot. I hope that you did not and if you did, remember he has not left you, you just forgot to listen.
Judy
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 January 2008 08:36 pm |
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Hi Hisgal, I so understand what you mean about 'coasting' and not really caring all that much about anything. With everything going on, I had put all to do with weight loss soooo far away...buried somewhere deep inside. It still peeked out from time to time...then the cycle continued; care a couple days, not care a couple days, and so on. A frustrating thing. This past week, the caring came out a bit longer - maybe a good sign? I'm not sure. I do hope so though!!
Maybe you too are having the same sign; that things are normalizing and settling down - and the need for taking care of yourself is returning once again. I so hope your elbow cooperates too.
I can't keep wearing these sweaters to hide the rolls of fat that I've gotten back.
I've been sorta doing the same thing lately! Instead of wearing my cute workout outfits to Curves, I've donned the long large Tshirts once again. I don't want anything remotely fitted or tight to accentuate my tummy rolls! Yuck!
Anyway, we are sooooooooooo here for you, Hisgal! We need you, too! We'll get through this together!
Last edited on 26 January 2008 08:37 pm by Scoobees
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 January 2008 04:20 am |
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Awwwwhttp://www........Judy and Scoobs Thanks! What would I do without you?
Judy , Thanks for stopping by.........and especially for praying for me! I truly believe that it is one of the most important things we can do for each other and for ourselves. Yes, most of this time, I have been going it on my own...........or maybe more appropriate to say, not even trying! I've had some thoughts on that.
If some of you guys get freaked out when we females talk about TTOM, this is the time to bow out.................OK here was my thought..........normally that lasted 3-5 days. For about 4 months, it's been a strong 7-8 days..................for the last 2 months, it's been more like 10 days or so. This month, it was over 2 weeks. So, I'm thinking, if my hormones are wacky enough to do that to me..............maybe they are playing a role in my apathy (I can't believe that I remembered that word!) toward weight loss???? Because for the last 4-5 years, I have been having no problem for watching what I ate, and have been gung-ho on some type of exercise! Why now, for the weeks after my dip into depression/crying jags/mood swings.........am I having no will to do either? And "will" isn't the word I want, but like so often lately, the words I want just won't come to me! It's so frustrating! I hear about memory loss with menopause, but it isn't suppose to be happening to me.........and yet it is........ALL THE TIME!
Scoobs, I hate this "coasting"! I don't know whether to cry or be angry over it! I'm so glad you are having some days of caring! And YOU LOST A POUND! YEAH! I can't wait until I can say that! I am hoping for this week.........I am determined, no matter how much I don't want to see what the scale says........I WILL STEP ON IT TOMORROW (MONDAY) MORNING. I'm not sure I will be brave enough to report it here though. I truly am scared of what it will tell me.............but I know that until I take that BIG step, I won't even begin controlling what goes into my mouth. I might have to do this in baby steps.............which is totally unlike me! I always dive in and swim But, even though I know I should throw them out, I've got some leftovers that I am going to finish up. We got a gift card to this wonderful Italian restaurant from our godchildren, and we went there Saturday night. I only ate half of the meal, and felt good about that But we got a Papa Murphy's pizza on Friday night, and I do so love those. But, we've got leftovers there too. I have trouble throwing food out anyway, but with hubs laid off, I really hate to do it! So, I am going to be super good all day Monday and Tuesday, and will have those leftovers for dinner those two nights. BABY STEPS! The real challenge will be...........being really good during the beginning of the day.
OK...........so tomorrow (Monday) morning is my new beginning! Pray for me!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 January 2008 03:55 am |
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Well, everything going according to plan. Man, do you know how good it feels to actually have one again???? I'm not going as hard core as I did before, it's baby steps this time.
On Monday, I stepped on the scale and did my measurements. I am hanging my head in shame. I can't believe I'm actually going to write this in my diary, but I have to start being accountable. I truly hope that I don't lose my incentive to keep this up!
Anyway..........here goes..........since June 16th, 2007..........I have gained 40 lbs. Yes, I really have. I sure didn't think I was eating that much, but the scale tells me otherwise And with the extra calories, and lack of exercise.......it evidently piled on.
So, here goes! SW 195.2 lbs
Monday and Tuesday, I watched what I ate very carefully.........but, we did eat the leftovers for dinner at night. Today was the real challenge. We had a blizzard (not the kind from the DQ ---I'm talking snow, falling temps to below zero and 25-30 mph winds, 40-50mph gusts, with dangerous wind chills), and I went home from work at 2:00..........it's much easier to control your eating if you are working, instead of home where all the temptations are. But all I ate between lunch and the pizza for dinner, was about a cup of raw veggies. I think God planned that one........I was assigned to bring the veggie tray to the birthday party on Sunday. Now I've got all these wonderful veggies, all cleaned up, and ready to eat. I think I'll stir-fry them tomorrow night for dinner.
I watched my favorite show tonight.........Biggest Loser. I can't wait to see what these guys look like at the final weigh in! I think Dan is going to look like a hunk when he's done! And Kelly will be a blonde babe! Bring it on! I wonder what Pat will look like by then? Hopefully, I will be down significant lbs.
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CathyWe
Member
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Posted: 30 January 2008 04:12 am |
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Hi Hisgal! Thank you for replying in my journal. I do love your theory on "losing" weight!
I have read some of your journal, and see that you are going through the same thing I am with the big M. The mood swings(though I am used to that being bipolar), the memory loss, the irregularity. My memory has been shot since I had 26 ects(shock treatments) in 1996 for the bipolar. I really totally get it! Of course your hormones are causing the apathy! It is NOT your weakness of will or anything remotely like that! In fact, you are actually very strong since you are still coming here and posting in yours and everyone elses diaries. When I lost interest just two weeks after beginning, I was so embarrassed to even come here. It was only after I saw that I had lost 4 kilos that I was brave enough to come back! I really appreciated that you answered me, and hope that we can become friends during this and for a long time to come. I will be looking for your posts, and will definitely be praying for you!
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Theresa
Senior Member
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Posted: 30 January 2008 11:52 am |
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You need to hold your head up high and not hang it in shame! It takes a heck of a lot of courage to say when you put on weight. I also wanted to lie to myself when I put on 5lbs over Xmas, especially after losing so brilliantly for the month before. Then I decided to just say so in my journal because I would be lying to myself more that to anyone else. Actually that has happened to me twice since starting my journal, the first time was when I had a bunged up scale and actually weighed 16 lbs more than I thought. I think you worry that everyone is let down when you stumble but the person most affected is yourself and not the other people. Everyone actually stands by you and wants you to get going again and succeed. You didn't lie to yourself and you will therefore succeed. Sometimes it's just a bit more of a twisty and curvy and longer road than we thought it would be.  Rather get there a little later than never at all! And of course the baby steps are the best way to re-start again and keep you going during the tough times. I am rooting for you!
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 January 2008 02:07 pm |
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Hi Pat I'm right Next to you Standing by your side. We can make this a 3 legged race. Who do you think you were hiding it from? You know and so does God. Remember who has helped you through, who you should turn to. My Favorite... Footprints in the Sand. Well girl if you haven't read it recently, take a look. Besides No-one is perfect!! You just showed anyone who reads that this is a process, and Many things affect our resolve. The one that has won is the one who admits it and gets up another time to fight the battle. So girlfriend... Monday was a new beginning and do what it takes. You already know many of the tools that work for you. You have come a long way already. Holding you hand, and wishing you success!
Lee
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 January 2008 03:23 pm |
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You guys! You are the best! Cathy, Theresa and Lee...............I cried when I read your posts. You all three made some very good points............you are wise ladies! I can't ever say "thank you" enough to you and others, on who have helped me on this journey! I was hoping it was a one way drive, but I am on the switchbacks again. And so glad I am here, and have you...................."Thanks" can't begin to cover it!
I made a protein drink this morning, for breakfast, with vanilla powder, banana and blueberries............only to find, on my drive to work, that the powder had gone bad since I last used it. It tasted rancid  For a split second, I thought that gave me an excuse to drive through McDonald's...........then sanity took over, and I remembered that I had a grapefruit and one of nevd'd protein bars still at work in the refrigerator. That's an NSV!
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 January 2008 05:02 pm |
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YEAH!!!! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY
Put down that EVIL choice.  Yes!!! Those Oat cakes did more for you than those empty Mickey D's calories. (insert applause sound)
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 30 January 2008 05:29 pm |
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Thanks Lee
I know you are right..........and I never go through McD's for hardly anything (sometimes a frozen yogurt cone on a very hot day). But, being it's early days at eating healthier.............that awful thought just popped into my head! If it was a habit I had had, it might have been a different story!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 31 January 2008 03:20 am |
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Had a good day today! I don't know what possessed me, but I stepped on the scale tonight, fully clothed, after a day of eating and drinking my coffee/water! I sure hope that scale is so good to me at my next weigh-in!
I still am not journaling in my notebook, like I used to..........but I'm thinking of at least writing down here, what I eat each day. Baby steps...........
Wed. Jan 30:
Nevd protein bar, grapefruit, 2 oranges, low-fat no sugar yogurt, homemade chicken wild rice soup, about 1.5 c. raw veggies (carrots, celery, 3 kinds of pepper, broccoli, cauliflower), sweet n sour chicken over rice (Schwan's....240 cal. and .5 gr fat), about 8 sweet pickle slices
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Theresa
Senior Member
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Posted: 31 January 2008 06:44 am |
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| You go girl!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 31 January 2008 02:54 pm |
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Thanks, Theresa! It feels so good to be doing something again..........it's just too bad that I let it go so long. Oh well, at least I stayed here at , and kept writing something! Eventually, all you guys got to me, as the hormones leveled out again, and I'm back at it! Yessssssss!
What's that saying????? ..........................you haven't failed until you quit trying??
Well, I haven't failed! I may feel it at times, but I have to remember that I'm still trying!
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 31 January 2008 03:27 pm |
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Pick yourself up...Dust yourself off,,, and start all over again
I'm so glad to see Happier posts from you.
Lee
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jonibug
New Member
| Joined: | 20 January 2008 |
| Location: | Texas USA |
| Posts: | 242 |
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Posted: 31 January 2008 04:51 pm |
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Well, I haven't failed! I may feel it at times, but I have to remember that I'm still trying!
With an attitude like that, you're SURE to find success!!
I used to say "I'm a victim of my hormones".... I was a BASKET CASE when they would fluctuate, which for women is 1/2 our lives! I finally got on supplements and feel like myself again. I'm SO glad you are levelling out and feeling better. I know your pain!!!
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 31 January 2008 05:29 pm |
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Thanks, Lee ! I am so glad that I'm leaving happier posts too!
Hi Jonibug I've been visiting your diary, and I'm thinking you are about my age too?? I'm 52, and have been struggling with the night sweats for several years now, and just generally overheating on exertion, if it's over 65 degrees! I've been waiting for the hot flashes, but this depression/mood swings thing really took me by surprise! I felt like my whole personality was changed for a while! I've really had good luck with a soy/black cohash capsule to keep the night sweats under control.........even though the things you read, say that it doesn't work. If I skip a day or two, my sheets are dripping wet at night! So, no matter what the "experts" say, they work for me! I went on extra "B" vitamins too, with the stuff going on over the holidays. I can't say if that is working for me, or if the sepia from my chiro did the trick?? But, whatever, I'm glad to be pretty much back to the old me.............I don't mean "old"..........I'm not old yet
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Scoobees
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 31 January 2008 09:51 pm |
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It feels so good to be doing something again
Exactly. That speaks volumes...doing something (anything!) always seems to fire me up again, too.
I am thrilled for you that you are getting back in a groove...any steps - baby included - all lead back to that road we all want to be on.
We will rock this!
Last edited on 31 January 2008 09:52 pm by Scoobees
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 February 2008 12:11 am |
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Scoobs wrote:
We will rock this!
Yes, Scoobs, we will!
It has been the craziest day! I am so glad that January 31st is almost over! I was so rejoicing that I'd gotten all the tax forms (1099's, 1098's, 1096's, W-2's, W-3's etc) in the mail at the office! Then I headed to another office, where I do the books once a month. I finished up the above forms for them. Then back here, to do deposits, and drop some stuff off at the accounting office..............when suddenly I couldn't remember doing some 4th Qtr Federal quarterlies and the state unemployment forms and the Federal unemployment forms. And they had to be in the mail TODAY! What a panic! I feel exhausted and so want to go home, but I have tons to do, and a Work Comp auditor coming in the morning, to get ready for. But I needed a short break, to clear my head, before I start on the next thing :)
My hubs' uncle passed away this afternoon...........cancer. I should have gone with him tonight, to visit his aunt. I thought I'd gotten rid of a lot of the stress in my life, but it seems to keep finding me!
Anyway.............right now I want junk food REAL BAD! I know it's the stress and all the work I need to do yet tonight.......and I have to stop at the grocery store on the way home! YUCK!!!
I WANT A VACATION!
Well, I have a can of tomato soup downstairs, and I bought a loaf of Norwegian health bread this afternoon. I will eat that, instead of going next door to Taco John's for junk.............I WILL!
Thursday's food:
protein powder with frozen tropical fruit mix, fat free yogurt, 2 oranges, 1 banana, leftover sweet and sour ckn and rice from last night, another fat free yogurt, a tomato soup to go, a V-8, Norwegian Health bread (2 slices and a very skinny crust), low-fat cream cheese, candy cane.
I know it a lot of water weight, but I peeked on the scale this morning, and it is down over 7lbs. from Monday! Some of that has to be real weight, doesn't it? *crosses fingers and says a prayer too*
Last edited on 1 February 2008 01:29 am by Hisgal
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 February 2008 02:26 am |
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Hi Pat,
So you are getting started again, GOOD FOR YOU! It's gotta feel good to be on your way. Take those 7 pounds and run with em. Wow are you so right about the stress - I have a stressful job and the last couple of years I completel gave myself over to the demands of the job - no free time, no exercise, just work, commute, eat whatever's handy, and stress stress stress.
I've only been at this weight loss thing for about 1 month, but I love the fact that I am really focused on making one hour to myself for working out every day. I hope you can find some time for YOU and I'll be checking in on you. Go girl!!
Mol
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 February 2008 02:59 am |
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Thanks, Mol! I suppose lots of people have stressful jobs.........and I do love my job. I am happy working with numbers and being a bookkeeper. And I 'm in an office with the most wonderful people. But then, I know God put me there, so I could expect no less. It's just that I'd like it to be an 8-5 job! From Jan-March I often work through my lunch hour and work until somewhere between 6:30-9:00 p.m.. I was so excited to be outta there by a little after 5:00 tonight...........then I had to go get groceries. I really don't like bringing home bags of groceries, on a Friday night, to be put away after an already long week
Friday's food:
old fashioned oats w/walnuts and craisins, vanilla yogurt (ff) with 2 oranges and nevd's protein bar, chicken wild rice soup w/ 2 slices of Norweigen Health bread & fat free Promise spread, Harvest Grain whole grain crackers, Papa Murphy's De-Lite pizza-Hawaiian w/mushrooms, candy cane.
Whoooo..........this is a high day, I'm sure
I don't think the whole weekend will be very good. Grandson's birthday party tomorrow. Super Bowl on Sunday.........I don't suppose the 7 lbs will still be gone by Tuesday. Water weight is more often a problem on the weekends. I have to remember to take my water bottles with me wherever I go.
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