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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 February 2006 10:37 pm |
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So far, so good:
as of 1:26pm: ratio of 20p/14f/66c percentages, with 2 more meals to go.
738.3 calories so far, 39.2g protein, 12.7g fat, 131.7g carbs, 25.1g fiber. This is fun! It's like a food game, a combination math problem, puzzle and logic problem all in one! And the winning prize is better health, more fitness and a slimmer me! Much better than winning the lottery and spending all that money on a globe-trotting gastrofest, eating foods I've only ever read about, which is probably exactly what i'd do. Then I'd come home, get a full-time personal trainer, a chef, a wine cellar and spend tons of time and money shopping for beautiful clothes -- except I'd be too heavy to look good in them.
I weighed myself this morning and the needle was teetering between 159 and 160 --- oooooooooooooh, the best part is I'm actually sticking with something now and experiencing success.
And exercised yesterday along with 2 miles, then 4 miles today, doing intervals on the elliptical.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2006 04:57 am |
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OK, so now I'm getting concerned -- should I be?
It's 7:41pm and I'm looking at a calorie deficit of 666 (well, that alone is sometimes a little spooky) and my protein ratio is 20%. Blech. I don't want any more protein. I'm not hungry. So I really don't want anything. My fat percentage is 12 -- so obviously I'd need to eat something proteiny and even a tad fatty, but not carbohydrates.
But 666 calories -- plus the 300 I'm already choosing not to eat (I should be eating roughly 2000 to maintain my weight without exercise but I'm aiming for 1700 calories each day)plus the 4 miles I ran this morning, and the fact that I'll be doing weights and cardio tomorrow morning -- and that I only ate around 1500 yesterday, and exercised, too -- eeeeeyyyyaaaaaah! Am I being ridiculous in being scared? I don't want to lose muscle, or catch a cold. Is this worse than eating 3000 calories in one night?
Probably not. Maybe I can knock back a protein powder drink. Ugh. And an egg white. I'm not starving. I'll be fine. And it isn't an exact science, either. And for two lousy days in the past 3 years, I've eaten fewer calories than my body needs -- big deal. I'll just eat more tomorrow -- anyway, the body doesn't tally daily intake -- it takes each day to build the big picture.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 March 2006 06:06 am |
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That Nice Man I See Sometimes says I spend a lot of time walking around the mountain before I choose the best way for me to climb it.
He didn't mean anything bad by that -- he was only pointing it out to me, that I spend a longer-than-average length of time in pre-contemplation before moving on to action ( the "longer-than-average" is my way of saying it; he would never tell me or even imply I'm abnormal.
I was thinking about "Comfort Zones" today, and how stifling they are, and how we think it's "safe" to stay in our same old lives and not break any well-established patterns. We settle into lifetime routines -- breakfast, then work, then home, supper and bed, Wal-Mart every Saturday, Roast beef every Sunday -- and we hate change, even if that change means life will be better.
I've said to many people, especially at work, "Nobody likes change, unless they're the one who initiated it." I still know that's true, but I realized today that I've rarely initiated much change in my life lately. I mean truly that I initiated, and made the decision entirely on my own, without doing it for someone else or being invited to make a change with other people. I've taken advantage of opportunities that were presented to me, but I haven't created my own opportunities. I have, however, been walking and walking around that mountain -- several mountains, actually, and it's not that I'm afraid of the mountain or what will happen to me when I get to the top of it -- I can completely, clearly see myself at the top of all of those Mountains. So why do I take so long to start climbing?
I finally decided that comfort zones aren't the way to go at all. Life will be much more fulfilling and satisfying if I examine all of my habitual patterns and experiment with more interesting alternatives.
Example: I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 22, and even then I never really rode one much. It's time I got a bike and empowered myself, instead of living in fear of scrapes and bruises. I'm tougher than this. Bikes are fun.
Example: I tell some of my friends what they want to hear, not what the caring, loving and sometimes concerned truth is. That's not a good friend. I can trust myself to be an honest and compassionate friend, starting now.
Example: I've smoked for 22 years now. It's the only thing I've consistently chosen to do all day, every day for more than half of my life. Wouldn't life be more interesting if I tried it without a cigarette?
I went to a coffee shop I've never been to last weekend. It was a fun little place, with lots of outdoor spots to sit. It's so close to home, I could easily walk to it, but there it's been for 2 years now, and I only just walked in last weekend. I'm gonna get out more often and see more things. That was fun.
Stimulating, too. It's stimulating to break old patterns. And when I run into someone I haven't seen in a while and they ask me what I've been up to, wouldn't I prefer to have things to talk about instead of saying "oh, nothing much" and know that's the sad truth? You betcha.
When it rains, it pours -- I'm co-producing a local play, I've been invited to do a reading of an original play on March 12th, and an aquaintance left a message on my phone saying she's putting together a performance of monologues and invited me to be one of the actors -- all this in one week. I think I released some excess glump off of me somehow, and the universe felt it and sent some good stuff my way to reward me -- or to present me with a new lesson because it thinks maybe I'm ready for it now that some of that glump has been removed (I made "glump" up -- don't think it's really a word).
For 3 days I've eaten right, and the freakiness of my eating patterns is slipping away. 3 days isn't long enough for a new way of life to set in, I know. But Ben & Jerry haven't come over in maybe over a week, and I haven't wanted to invite them. Wine calls me sometimes, usually while I'm at work, and I listen to her messages but I haven't responded. I think if I don't respond anymore, she'll get a clue and quit calling me. I have a new friend I like better than Wine and Ben and Jerry -- she looks great in her new workout pants! And she went to this really neat coffee shop last weekend, and she's gonna take me clothes shopping in probably 2 months, maybe even sooner if we support each other through this delicate but exciting time.
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suenos
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 March 2006 05:18 pm |
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| The written Japanese character for "stress" is the same as the one for "change"....hmmmm.
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NevD
New Member
| Joined: | 26 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 1536 |
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Posted: 2 March 2006 07:25 pm |
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Sounds like you're getting there!
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 March 2006 07:30 am |
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I'm starting to look like myself again -- my face isn't all puffy anymore, and neither is my stomach, thanks to no more wine or ice cream and a careful consideration of 30/20/50 as best as I can follow it. Hooray!!!!! I was afraid it was "old age" settling in -- phew.
And the thing I feel the best about is my resting heart rate has dropped down to 61, which means my heart is getting stronger, so I'm not living in constant fear of a heart attack or stroke. Dad died at 42 years old from his third heart attack -- he also had a stroke at 29 -- and I've always feared that I'd follow in his footsteps. All I can do is choose the healthy path of life, and hope nurture wins over nature this time.
Last night I... well... let's just say I "surprised my system to keep it guessing" by eating a NY strip, potatoes and Girl Scout Cookies. I also missed yoga this morning -- I went there, but when I drove up they had already closed the blinds, which means they'd started, and yoga isn't something I can just walk in on and interrupt everybody's little mental states, bla bla bla. So I went to the gym and did 6 miles --
OH! Like an idiot I left 5 -- count 'em, 5 -- CDs at the gym one day last week, two of which were brand-spanking new, didn't notice it until the next day when they weren't in my car, so I asked the woman behind the counter if anybody had found them, and she directed me to the lost&found box -- well, not a box, but a laundry hamper, out in the middle of everything, filled with stinky clothes and jackets, but no CDs. Of course there were no CDs -- any old schmoe could get free CDs out of that laundry basket. Sheesh. So I ordered a nano ipod today, as a birthday present for myself! It's long overdue, really. My new workout pants don't have pockets in them, and I hate to sit my CD player on the elliptical machine or the treadmill because sometimes it falls and crashes to the floor and everybody looks at me, which raises my heart rate but not in a positive way. It's also hard to find an entire CD of music that I like, and the ones I do like get all scratched up with all the back-and-forth traveling with me, Ms. lazy, as their caretaker.
And another observation -- I have better posture and work maybe a bit harder when I'm wearing my smart new workout pants than when I wear sweat pants! For the first time in my life -- I mean the very first time -- I didn't have it at 18, not at 21, or 25 or even 31 when I was working on my muscles so hard -- at long last, I now have a "chunk in my trunk." For once, it almost defies gravity! Ever since I noticed it I've been a whole lot more enthusiastic about doing lunges and squats and these Sumo wrestler-type moves our trainer makes us do, and I'm starting to really suck that gut in a lot more now, too, to make sure those muscles are "engaged" all the time. And I like push-ups -- they make me feel tough and strong. I still can't go as deep into them as I'd like, but I'm improving.
This sure beats the old routine of ice cream and wine and when-will-my-life-start-happening-again mopings!
So I'm not too far off my goals -- I did a full weight and strength training session yesterday which means I did my 3 days, and so far this week have put in 16 miles, with every cardio session involving interval training for at least half an hour.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 March 2006 07:58 am |
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I was glad today was Monday. I woke up this morning looking forward to spending a regimented day, with everything scheduled for me, which meant I'd eat right and exercise and feel good, and that's exactly what happened. I even looked forward to going to work and doing stuff i don't enjoy, just because it's important for me to have routine.
That means I need to schedule my weekends, too, at least for a while. I need to plan specific tasks to complete so I'll feel good about what I've accomplished, and I also need to schedule 'fun" activities, as if they're required, so I'll do them and feel glad that I did. Otherwise I do very little and disappoint myself by my inactivity.
A few years ago I got hooked on The Sims, a God-game where you build the people and their homes, and you choose everything they do, all day long. Every Sim had needs, and if you didn't allow them to meet their needs, they'd either yell at you or sometimes even die. If you didn't send them to the bathroom, they'd wet the floor and then cry out of shame and hopelessness; if you didn't provide them with a functional kitchen, they'd starve. If you didn't let them sleep, they'd end up burning the house down, by accident. And if they got too lonely, they could die, too, or if they got too bored and didn't have enough "play time," they'd be sad and angry and irritable. That taught me a lot about life. At first, my Sims only ever worked and went to bed. They got really angry at me, and did some stupid things. I finally learned to balance their activities so they were basically content, but it wasn't easy to do, and every Sim had unique needs. I'll never forget when the Stork delivered a baby to one of my families, and nobody got any sleep for days on end, and finally Social Services came and rescued the screaming, crying baby. What a mess. maybe that's why I don't have children; it's hard enough to meet my own needs, much less a little baby with no way to communicate except through screams and gurgles.
I did a great thing for myself several months ago, and that was admitting and accepting that I need a lot of time to myself, and not feeling guilty about it. The guilt part was the hardest, but I think I'm over that now. I need people in my life, but not during every waking hour. I need a lot of down-time, too, just to let myself think and be, and if I don't get that time, I'm not of much use to the important people around me. Other people's personalities really affect me and make me forget about my own needs and ideas. My boyfriend is a huge presence, and he overwhelms me. I like him much more, and appreciate him, if I get my own time to just be me. It's a choice I made that has turned out to be the best choice for everybody.
Gee, I don't know if I want to commit to this because I'm afraid I won't make it -- but I want to quit smoking tomorrow. Why am I afraid to say that? Why am I afraid to quit? I'm not afraid of quitting -- I'm afraid of failing, again. I'd love to realize the true potential of my lung capacity. I'd love to know what it feels like to be in my adult body, without having that Nicodemon inside me, without being compelled to give it that fix. Without being tied to a poison. I love to eat clean food and to get good, solid exercise. How can I betray my body every day by doing all that and then killing myself with all the poisons in cigarettes? What kind of a liar am I? Why do I choose to spend over $200 each month on a drug that slowly kills me? There is nothing good in a cigarette. There's nothing in a cigarette that my body needs.
I don't want to misuse this forum, but I haven't found a forum anywhere else that's this supportive and safe, so maybe I can write about my smoking issue here and nobody will notice. I really have to stop this, and now is the best time to do it. I know that. I know it. I have to stop now. I'm bigger and stronger than this addiction, and that's all it is -- an addiction to nicotine and poison. I deserve much, much better than that.
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suenos
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 March 2006 07:26 pm |
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I'm reading your description of the "Sims" game, and I can't help it but I can't stop laughing. I'm thinking....people do this for fun???!!! I can just picture my stress level trying to keep a whole houseful of computer people alive, never-mind trying to keep them happy:(!
About the smoking thing. I'm too big a wuss to just quit like a grown-up. I'm trying to trick my unsuspecting body into cutting down week by week until I finally stop. I have no idea if it's working or not. It's like doing intervals and the last 10 seconds before you reach the peak seem to streaaaach forever. Well, that's exactly how I feel every day during the last five mins. of my "smoke free" period.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 March 2006 03:57 am |
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Here it is an entire week later -- I was sick last week -- not a full-blown illness with visible signs, just an entire body ache, foggy head and nausea -- but of course I maintained a healthy appetite. Nothing takes away my appetite.
I had alternate messages going through my head: "Hm, I'm sick, so it's that much more important to eat healthy foods," followed with "but if I'm sick maybe it's because I've been exercising too much and not eating enough?" to "Seems like most people on the forum have gotten sick shortly after beginning a healthier plan -- maybe this is a sign of a change?" So I alternated healthy foods with not-so-healthy. Pizza, Thai food, nachos. Poached eggs on toast with lots of butter. Mom used to make poached eggs on toast when we were sick as kids. That, and tomato soup with a grilled cheese and a pickle -- with the pickle placed close to one sandwich half so the pickle juice gets on it. And always a pat of butter -- floating and melting on the top of the soup, sliding off of the toast with the poached eggs -- all over corn on the cob, on my ham sandwiches, on saltines as a snack, on steamed broccoli, on top of the white rice. I love butter.
All better now -- maybe it was allergies to some things outside -- but the wind and then lots of snow knocked it out.
Didn't do any cardio this week after tuesday, other than what I do at the personal trainer's place. I admitted that to her this morning and she retaliated by making me do 20 reps of everything, and then I had to jump rope ----eeeeeehhhhhhh, I hate jumping rope. But I look forward to liking it one day...
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 March 2006 04:10 pm |
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So... I need to write more here. Yesterday I stepped onto a coworker's body fat percentage scale. 35% body fat. I can't believe that. 35%. Where is it all? My arms and legs and neck aren't flabby at all. My chest isn't very big. Yes, I have what looks like a donut around my hips and belly, and I can see that fat jiggle, and I hate it and it scares me (think "Metabolic Syndrome Candidate"). if 35% is correct, that means I'm carrying over 57 lbs of fat. 35% is considered obese -- but I don't look "obese" --
So this fat, the fat I have, is the kind that kills me. That means in the past 3 years, going from 142 to 163, I gained deadly fat.
We "tested" that scale -- because I refused to believe that answer -- by putting another coworker on it who's 130 lbs and thin, does yoga and skis all the time -- and it said she was 23% body fat.
So this is great information to have. Even if the scale wasn't completely accurate, even if it was off by 3 or 4 %, it was still a huge wake-up call. Or a great birthday present -- I turned 41 yesterday, a pretty big turning-point in life for me, no more hanging on to "youth" and throwing caution to the wind -- it's all up to me now, all about the choices I make, all about the body I choose to build and take care of or not take care of.
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suenos
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 March 2006 05:39 pm |
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Isn't there something eye-opening about knowing your body fat %? (Mine was 35% too). When you see that number it really hits home that it's got to become about "fat" loss not just weight loss.
Happy birthday!!!!!!!!
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 16 March 2006 05:43 pm |
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| For another perspective on body fat percentage, invest a little in a "skinfold caliper" (got mine on eBay). The trouble with those analyser scales is that they depend too much on your hydration level (so over time results fluctuate wildly), and as current takes the shortest route usually only representative of your lower half.
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NevD
New Member
| Joined: | 26 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 1536 |
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Posted: 16 March 2006 05:56 pm |
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35% body fat. I can't believe that. 35%. Where is it all?
What you can see is subcutaneous fat. But of course you can't see the internal fat. Some is essential, but much of it not. It sits around the vital organs (like the heart) and prevents them from working properly. That's why it can be a killer.
But fat's no worse than many other things. It's not harmful of itself - but too much of it is!
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 March 2006 02:49 am |
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Boy I love you guys -- thanks.
Yeah, before it was about looking good and sure, a healthier lifestyle, but now it's more about saving my life. The last thing I want is to end up like my dad, dead at 42 of his 3rd heart attack, with 2 strokes under his belt. I've been thinking for the past 24 hours about all that deadly visceral fat I'm carrying and feeding.
And thanks Nir, for the hydration vs fat comment. I was thinking that -- well, hoping it. I got on that scale about 2 hours after my workout session, had already had probably 50 or 60 oz of water but the scale said I was dehydrated. I've read what you guys have said about the skinfold calipers. I fear I won't be able to do it correctly -- but that's no reason to not try it.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 March 2006 01:09 am |
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Back on plan now. 7 miles yesterday and a little over 7.5 today, mixing intervals on the elliptical for 1/2 hour with another steady half hour at around 156 steps per minute, and then on the treadmill with occasional inclines and 2 bouts of running for 3 minutes -- that sent me into the endorphin range! I've felt great all day today because of that.
Had poached eggs on toast with fake butter for breakfast (didn't feel like fruit this morning) and then a huge pile of romaine with lemon juice, a little parmesan and 9 almonds. Supper will be deviled crab -- homemade, with no mayonnaise, but ok, some butter and a little flour -- with beets and a spinach salad.
Making vegetarian chili for the week with loads of pintos, black beans and anasazi beans and textured vegetable protein -- I'll eat it over romaine. Got some quinoa, too -- used to eat it years ago but gave it up when I got all carb-conscious. Funny that I gave up quinoa, but not ice cream! Well, not really; quinoa isn't glamourized and marketed to romance people; quinoa isn't served at parties throughout the American life span; quinoa doesn't come in caramel or with little dark chocolate fish; quinoa doesn't have a bazzilion grams of sugar and fat, and it isn't all creamy.
I went to the local organic food market yesterday -- it's called Cid's Whole Foods, but a friend of mine called it "Cid's Whole Paycheck Foods" -- But it was actually less expensive than my favorite grocery store!!! They sell a lot of things in bulk, and have some gorgeous organic produce -- beautiful, locally grown hydroponic tomatoes that were so red and heavy -- golden beets! perfect avocados. Nice neat scallions. And the brand of unsweetened cranberry juice I buy was on sale for $2.99 a bottle instead of the usual $8.15 at my grocery store. They close at 7pm M-F and they're across town, but I'll have to make the effort to go.
When I first moved here, I made fun of all the organic-eating people -- even went so far as to say -- well, jokingly -- that I was building up my immunities by including wax and pesticides and hormones in my diet. Now, I choose organic whenever I can. I've seen the little news segments about "how can you tell if organic is really organic?" and stories about organic farmlands being right next to nonorganic and therefore getting the same pesticides sprayed on them, etc. I think the most important thing is to support the organic farmers so they'll prosper and grow, and hopefully that'll increase the availability and decrease the expense. Every dollar I spend on organic produce and meat is one dollar not invested in pesticides and dangerous toxins.
Hee hee ha, so here I am, one of those organic-eating smokers I used to laugh at. Yeah Dude, I'm gonna fill my belly with clean, pure food and drink only filtered water and organic teas, and then I'm gonna huff down a pack of marlboro lights. God Bless Amerkuh! One day it'll click. In the meantime, we do the best we can.
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4179 |
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Posted: 20 March 2006 08:22 am |
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That is an oxymoron: organic foods and cigarettes.
Glad I don't have an unusual quirks. ;)
Peter
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 22 March 2006 04:24 pm |
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yeah -- I guess there's one positive thing about it: If I'm ever in a plane crash and the survivors decide to eat somebody, they won't pick me, unless they're craving something like a smoked ham!
I'm so tired today. I did 7 miles Satruday, 7.5 Sunday, personal trainer Monday, 4 miles of interval training yesterday morning and then had to go cross-country skiing with coworkers yesterday afternoon -- this week is our company's annual "Roundup" when all of our employees from across the country come to our home office here in Taos, and group activities are planned. I could choose between skiing, which I've never done in my life, or skeet shooting, but I'm one of those organic-eating, smoking, anti-gun freaks, so I chose cross-country skiing.
We went way up into the mountains to a place that had fresh, unbroken snow and no trail to follow. 12 of us, mostly people who've skied all their lives, have worked at ski resorts and some who are even ski instructors on the weekends because they love it so much. I thought it'd be fun, and not too hard because hey, it's cross-country, it looked easy during the Olympics, kind of like doing the elliptical trainer but with poles, and I figured I'd burn more calories for the day. I wore my favorite Russian furry hat, all white, with a big beautiful sickle and crescent on the front of it -- I was cute.
I felt like a cold wet, runny-nosed marionette puppet with a sadistic puppeteer for a daddy. I fell and fell and fell. Every time I fell, I let out a really dumb sounding bleet, then crashed into the snow, and then couldn't figure out how to get my feet underneath me with those stupid long skis attached and buried in the snow. One foot would point in one direction with the corresponding knee some other direction, the other foot would be under the snow so I couldn't even see which way it was facing, and both wrists were mangled around the poles, and my butt felt like it weighed 20 tons when I'd try to get back up, only to fall again, deeper into the snow, in yet another twisted body puzzle.
It was a nightmare. Like one of those dreams where you're running from a monster but your feet get tangled and you can't move. Except in real life, all these people who can move are looking at you, trying to help you up and tell you what to do, and you're keeping that "good-natured" smile on your face, trying to look like you're having fun, when all you want to do is go back to the car and get those stupid things off your feet, have a good cry and somehow try to dry your pants and get warm.
I eventually got better at it, but I didn't burn many calories, except for the panic calories and the ones I burned to stave off hypothermia. I guess I'm not meant to be on a "slippery slope." I like to know where I'm going, and how to get there. At one point I stopped and took a little inventory of the things I can do -- I can dance up a storm, I can perform in front of an audience, I can fly ultralights, I'm great at crossword puzzles, I know how a cat likes to be petted, I'm creative, I have a great smile and I'm always -- well -- maybe not always -- but usually very enthusiastic and positive, and support other people. I tried it, I did my best, it wasn't for me, I have nothing to prove to anybody. Mission accomplished. But I don't feel good about it.
So this morning I'm going to our personal trainer, and there'll be 7 coworkers attending, and of course I'm achy and exhausted and would rather sleep, and I never feel that way on my personal trainer days, but of course after my embarrassing day yesterday, and with all these other people planning to be there, I'm all tired and afraid I'll look like an out-of-shape smoking idiot. And of course the period started last night, so the likelihood of crying has increased by about 60%. Seems like all the thoughts in my head are starting with the words "I hate..."
I can only hope that they all got drunk last night and stayed up too late and feel lousy today.
I'm not a very nice girl today.
Last edited on 23 March 2006 03:54 pm by snussster
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 March 2006 04:27 pm |
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Yesterday was hard, but turned out to be a good day after all. I went to the personal trainer and we did a circuit of about 12 different exercises, and it was rough but felt really good, and it was also challenging for the super in-shape coworkers, too. The best part was that two of them are now interested in signing up with them for some sessions!
I didn't have time for any breakfast, so when lunchtime came along I was famished. All week lunch is catered, and yesterday was green chile chicken enchiladas or red chile beef enchiladas with beans and rice and then pretty little cream puffs and chocolate eclairs. Last year during Roundup I remember eating about 6 or 8 of them, alternating back and forth because I couldn't decide which one I preferred. So this year I made a conscious decision to not eat any of them, and I just watched a couple of people eat them and lived vicariously. That was lunch; dinner was another story...
We had a "family" dinner last night at a fantastic local restaurant, with all 28 employees together, and it was great, great fun. I've been so cranky and tired that I forgot the purpose of Roundup until last night. All 28 of us really love each other and are so happy and fortunate to work together. We played a fun game where each person had to think what their "7-Dwarf" name would be, and then everybody would choose a name for them -- when it was my turn I said I should be "Chewy"(because I'm always chomping on Nicorette at work), but the crowd chose "Leggy" instead. Of course that's not really PC for work, and I'd rather be "Smarty" or "Clevery," but I was satisfied with "Leggy" because I've been feeling like "41 year-old asexual haggered person with a gut and bad, confused hair."
Ooh la la the menu -- and I ate it all and then some: started with a really nice smoky Cabernet which continued throughout the evening, thanks to Jack, the best waiter in the world who remembered us from our Christmas party; then a parade of appetizers floating across the room -- assorted cheeses, fried polenta with some kind of spicy cream sauce, grilled shrimp, bruschetta with filet of tenderloin and creamed spinach; then a pretty little salad with sliced pear and pinon; then pistachio-crusted halibut with a strawberry relish; and then creme brulee, and then somebody else's creme brulee, and then a little more creme brulee. And more of that Cabernet. And I wonder why I have a gut. Yep, as they say, "last night at 12 I felt immense; today I feel like 50 cents."
So today I'm gonna enjoy a lot of water and fruits and vegetables and take it easy. Today is my rest day -- no exercise today. Most every muscle hurts and I'm sleeping really hard, so it's time to recuperate. Then tomorrow morning I'll do at least 5 miles with no intervals, and saturday will be yoga and weights.
Today it feels good to be exhausted; it's a satisfying feeling.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 March 2006 03:41 pm |
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I spent Sunday making some plans and researching, and thinking. All this time and exercise and I've only lost 4 lbs in... well, I honestly can't give an amount of time because I haven't been good about eating right. There was one week where I was focused and stuck to my plan, and I did see good results, and lost 2 lbs that week.
So I know it's possible. I know and believe now that exercise alone won't do it. Everybody here said so, but I guess I was in denial.
So the new plan:
- Eat roughly at 10am, 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, 6pm
- Protein at every sitting
- No added sugar, alcohol or added saturated/trans fats
- Very limited carbs at 4pm and 6pm meals
- 6pm consists of solid protein and green vegetables
- Aim for 30/30/40
Protein sources: turkey, chicken, eggs, fish, whey powder, red meat (but only 2 or 3 times per week)
Carb sources: vegetables, fruit (not after 2pm), oatmeal, quinoa, beans
Fat sources: The fat in the above foods plus walnuts, almonds, avocado, flax seed, flax seed oil, reasonable oils in reasonable amounts
Fun foods: yogurt, raisins, ceasar dressing, ginger tea, maybe sushi once a week.
Monday, March 27th:
10am: fruit salad (apple, kiwi, strawberry, banana, nectarine) with plain yogurt and whey protein.
12pm: 1/2 cup plain oats with whey protein
2pm: sweet potato with cinnamon and meatloaf (it's what we have)
4pm: whey protein and brussel sprouts
6pm: Romaine, lemon juice, sprinkle of parmesan, walnuts and roasted turkey breast.
Lots of water all day, and a pot of ginger tea after 6pm.
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suenos
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 March 2006 05:41 pm |
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| Somebody told me a long time ago that having a goal without also having a well thought out, detailed and written plan was not a goal, but a wish. It looks like you are turning your wish into a goal that you will reach. I'd say "good luck", but I believe you already have the ability, determination and desire to make "luck" unnecessary. So, how 'bout wishing you "Happy Trails":).
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 March 2006 01:04 am |
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Thanks very much Suenos!
I haven't deviated yet, except for replacing one serving of whey protein with a tablespoon of peanut butter. Somebody brought some pita chips to the office today -- 6 grams of fat and 15 carbs per 4 or 5 chips -- I haven't had any, and look forward to 5pm when I can leave and not be haunted by them.
If I eat what I've planned I'll be at 34p/31f/35c today, which isn't bad. My calorie deficit will be pretty high -- I'll have eaten 1373 calories -- but I can't worry about that today or I'll go over my limit. I'm sure I went over my limit yesterday, so it'll be ok.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 March 2006 03:05 pm |
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Not bad yesterday. Didn't eat the brussels sprouts, but didn't eat the pita chips either. Had a huge pile of romaine with lemon juice, 1/4 cup of walnuts, a little ceasar dressing and parmesan and 3oz of boring turkey breast. Then I had some plain popcorn and maybe 1/2 cup of jello with shredded carrots, celery and pineapple (a leftover from Mom's Sunday supper).
It wasn't hunger that made me eat those things -- it was boredom again. I found myself thinking about food all night long. I also notice that once I break down and eat something, I want to eat again.
I have real carb issues.
Good things: no flour, no butter, no alcohol, the only foods with a label yesterday were the yogurt with breakfast, the tbsp of peanut butter, the ceasar dressing and the jello -- everything else was a whole food, and 2 of these things weren't so far off. The meatloaf should have had a label, but Mom made it, and at least it was a protein source with some L-carnitine.
Didn't have any water once I got home from work last night -- only a pot of ginger and green tea.
Today:
Fruit (apple, kiwi, nectarine) and whey protein
Oatmeal with peanut butter and whey protein
Quinoa cooked in chicken broth with celery and carrots, a piece of turkey
An even bigger pile of romaine tonight, balsamic vinaigrette, lemon juice, parmesan, walnuts and more of the turkey, chased by a big glass of cold water.
If I need a snack tonight I'll cook the golden beets and have them with some whey protein.
need to keep my fantasy life alive -- if I'm bored tonight, I can surf the web for a new swimsuit, and try on some things in my closet, and think about being onstage this summer, and about going to Jeff's brother's wedding, and about how nice my shoulders can look, and about wearing shorts for the first time in a couple of summers. And/or I can design and start to build a stand for my computer at work that allows me to stand up or sit down when I want to, while I'm working. I'm sick of sitting all day; I'm a stander, not a sitter.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 April 2006 05:24 pm |
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I created a mini-retreat for myself and I start it today --
I'll be spending 3 nights at our nearby mineral springs. It's nothing fancy, just a little place with iron springs, soda springs, etc. and hiking trails, and either a hotel, B&B or cottages, so I rented a cottage just for me. The entire grounds are non-smoking, and I'll be there for at least 72 hours which, "they" say, is the time required to get the bulk of nicotine out of your system. It hasn't happened when I've tried to do it while I'm working, and it hasn't happened while I've taken time off to stay home, so I'm going somewhere where cigarettes aren't sold or even allowed, and I'm having my boyfriend drop me off so I won't have a car. My goal is to be without any source of nicotine for that time period, and when I come back to "real life" I won't want to undo that valuable detox time.
There's a mini-refrigerator in my cottage so I stocked up on what I plan to eat -- apples, mangos, kiwi, pears, dates, goji berries, whey protein, cottage cheese, jicama, celery, spinach, and little japanese vegetarian spring rolls for a treat. There's a restaurant, but I don't know what they serve, and I'd like to go there for supper each night, but I want to eat "clean." I want this to be a real detox time.
I'm bringing books too -- "Changing for Good," "Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking," "Eat to Live," and some hypnosis CDs I got for smoking cessation. My journals, too, and my ipod. And my exercise ball and some free weights. And my measuring tape. And of course a swimsuit which is too tight and makes me feel awful, so I'm going to Wally-World this morning to get a bigger one for my big butt.
I'll be stuck with just me, so if I get cranky, I'll have to deal with it myself. There won't be anybody to blame anything on, nobody to use as a scapegoat, I'll have to plan my days on my own and make decisions, and if I get bored, I'll have to deal with it instead of just sitting and either smoking or eating junk.
I've wanted to do this for a long time, only I wanted to be at the beach, and be there for a whole week (well, gee, I wish I could do a month of this). But the beach is too far away and too expensive, and old memories of the beach include mexican beer with lime and lots of fried fish and hushpuppies. I can't really afford this little trip either, but I can look at it another way and tell myself I can't afford to not do it. I don't want to spend $150 a month on cigarettes and who knows how much on Nicorette each month. So consequently I can't afford to undo it when I come back.
It's an absurd lottery I've been playing for years. If I played the real lottery, I'd spend a dollar and there'd be a teeny tiny little chance that I could become a millionaire. With this smoking lottery, I spend hundreds of dollars and there's a teeny tiny chance that I could not have a heart attack, stroke, emphysema & chronic bronchitis.
I resolve to have a plan for how to handle precarious situations involving cigarettes and food. I intend to pay attention to my body, write down how I feel and focus on how good it will feel to be without nicotine, alcohol and simple sugar.
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 April 2006 07:30 pm |
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Your spa place sounds sooo wonderful. I hope it does for you what you need. All the positive thoughts and prayers going your way. I have a friend who quit smoking a few years ago and she is soo glad she did. I hope you achieve a good grounding while there and a stronger mind.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Lee  Hugs
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trimB
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 April 2006 11:32 pm |
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| I LOVE your retreat idea! Sounds like something I've often fantasized about. Now if you can only get a masseuse to make "cabin" calls!! Good luck and enjoy.
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4179 |
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Posted: 3 April 2006 07:41 am |
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I did that once! Very out of character for me, but it was great.
I was deep into dealing with my eating disorder and studying OA materials. I spent a three-day weekend in a cabin in the mountains above LA.
It was a very special time for me. I think we need to do that sometimes... just be with ourselves.
Enjoy!
Peter
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suenos
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 April 2006 06:34 am |
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| So....by the time you read this you will be a centered, well read, inwardly peaceful non-smoker...way to go Susan!!!!!
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 April 2006 04:49 pm |
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Well gee, I don't know about centered or well-read, and I doubt I'll ever be inwardly-peaceful, but it was great, and definitely a learning experience, and it was just what I needed.
Everybody was right when they said you just have to ride out the cravings. Sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes one minute, sometimes 4 or 5 hours. The 4 or 5-hour craving was the worst -- it happened Tuesday morning, when I decided I'd have a cup of coffee, something I haven't done in a long time. The caffeine gave me that old familiar rush, and I haven't had that rush before without a cigarette. That's when the true Junkie in me came out --
I started walking the grounds of the place, keeping my eyes on the grass and the parking lot and the walkways, looking for a long butt somebody might have left. I was fully aware of how pathetic that was, and as much as I was hoping to find one, I was also wondering how I could pick it up without anybody noticing what I was doing.
Then I realized I didn't have matches or a lighter, and that the wiser me had planned it that way, because I knew I'd get to that point.
I went to the front desk and asked how far away the nearest general store was, and they said it was a 2-mile walk. I didn't go. I went to eat lunch, and when the waiter asked me if I wanted anything else, I said, "well, gee, what I really want is a cigarette" -- and I told him because I know waiters and cooks, and there's always at least one person -- usually several -- in the restaurant biz that smoke. He didn't go for my bait. He suggested I sit outside and wait for a smoker and bum one. I couldn't believe his refusal to meet the needs of his customer.
That was the most interesting thing -- nobody "helped me", and I never saw anybody actually smoke the entire time I was there. They had 2 "outdoor" ashtrays on the property, both the kind that has this little hole at the top where you drop your cigarette butt, never to be seen or smoked again. The butts that didn't make it into the ashtrays were either all smoked down to the filter or they were wet.
So I opened my quit smoking book and the topic of the page I opened it to was how when you've quit for a few days, you somehow completely forget why you wanted to quit, and you can't find any reason at all why you should "deny" yourself that poison, and you invest a bunch of energy and time justifying it when you should just keep living your life and stop listening to the nicotine monster in your head. Made me laugh. There I was, reading about myself on that page. That was more shameful than looking for a trash-butt to smoke; I'd like to think I'm unique, but when it comes to addictions, I'm no different from anybody.
Also watched a PBS show on methamphetamine addiction and how it works with dopamine in the body, similar to what nicotine does. So I'm not much different from meth addicts -- eeeeeeeeesh.
But -- my resting heartrate is now at 50, I'm sleeping like a rock, and I went to the fitness center yesterday after I got home, and running at 4.7 mph now feels too slow, so I bumped it up to 5 mph! Time will tell, but going to the fitness center was a smart thing to do yesterday. This is the immediate result I really, really was hoping for, this will make it worthwhile for me.
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NevD
New Member
| Joined: | 26 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1536 |
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Posted: 6 April 2006 07:34 pm |
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Great post...
Keep it up!
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KICKIN_IT_IN_MI
Member
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Posted: 7 April 2006 12:20 am |
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Snussster, I just loved reading your post!
I do not have much of an imagination and I am not creative so when I write stuff down it's just the facts, but when I am reading your logs it's almost like I am going through the experience myself! Girl you could be a writer.
Keep up the good work. 
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wm
Senior Member
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Posted: 9 April 2006 09:21 pm |
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snussster wrote: But -- I don't think there's any way I could eat as much lettuce and greens as Dr. Joel recommends. I know he says all you really have to do is aim for two pounds of it each day, but egads -- even 8 oz is a LOT for one sitting, especially if I'm adding other vegetables and fruit and a cup of beans. By the time I get home for supper I'm so stuffed and full and bloated that I can't imagine cooking up another pound of greens.
snussster, I meant to reply to this a long time ago; sorry! The easiest way I have found to consume all of the greens Dr. Joel recommends is in blended salads, or green smoothies, as he now refers to them.
He gave some examples in last month's "Recipe of the Month" in his online library but, alas, I was too slow to act and now the recipes have changed.
If it's any consolation, I have a two-page article he published a couple of years ago describing the benefits of green smoothies and giving some sample recipes. Send me a PM and I will be happy to e-mail it to you.
Green is good! :yumm:
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 April 2006 07:18 pm |
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Well, I feel... great.
I love that we have 2 national holiday opportunities to review our blessings and gratitude -- Thanksgiving and Easter. That's what they represent for me, anyway. I'm so grateful for this forum and all the people on it, and for Peter for starting the whole thing. There's no place on the internet I'd rather be (unless I was a rich lady and could shop for workout clothes all the time).
Ok, so I'm smoking 5 cigarettes a day now. I'm working on it with that nice man I see sometimes. I'm satisfied with 5 a day though. I don't feel like a loser because that's a huge reduction for me, from probably 30 a day to 5 -- but I can't let go yet, and I know the reasons why. That nice man says I spend a lot of time walking around the mountain before I decide I'm ready to climb it. I figure at least I'm still walking around it. One day I'll be ready to pull out my shotgun and blow away all the bears that block my way from the top. I've got a backpack full of provisions and I've built up the strength I need for the climb -- I just need the commitment, and commitment is huge, especially for me, no matter what I'm committing to. Maybe it's the Pisces sun and the Gemini rising -- too much duality in me -- I can justify both sides of any issue. Maybe I'm lazy and weak-willed. Maybe "it's not over til it's over." But I don't feel like I've failed, and I'm still on my path, and I'll get there.
A new discovery: If I don't eat a single thing after supper -- and I mean not a single thing, not air-popped popcorn, not a low-fat yogurt, not even an apple, much less a piece of toast with strawberry jam or half a pint of ice cream -- I can go to bed without binging. But if I eat one single thing, it opens the flood gates for me and I end up eating several things. I don't need food after supper because it's not hunger that causes me to eat, it's old thought patterns, and if I eat one thing, it somehow triggers my "what-can-I-eat-next" pattern. I somehow programmed myself to keep up the mouth work and then the swallowing and maybe some crunching and chewing, well beyond any true need for any of it.
Also discovered that if I don't eat past supper, I sleep much better and wake up feeling clean and fresh and not-groggy. I've had this idea in my head that I have to eat again after supper or I won't have enough energy the next day -- not true. Not true at all. I have more energy.
Thanks to Suenos and Aisling I had salmon for supper 4 days this past week. Thanks to Nevd I had those protein-fiber bars, and again thanks to Suenos -- and Cid's whole paycheck foods --, I had tofu for lunch a few times this week. Very little bad fats, and a lot of romaine, and goji berries and kombucha. And almonds and walnuts, but not a huge amount.
Something has shifted now -- my appetite is bigger in the morning than it is in the evening, and I think that's a really good thing. I'm able to eat between 1500 and 1700 calories a day, but I do think my psychological set-point is still at 2000. I don't need 2000 calories a day. That's my next focus -- already I'm focusing on nutritional value, but I need to find places in my daily menu where I can cut back on the volume of food I think I require.
In any case, my energy level has increased, my lung capacity has increased, my heart rate has really decreased -- almost miraculously -- and my body is slowly starting to display the changes.
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suenos
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 April 2006 07:42 pm |
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I love how every time you post, you say something I've thought was unique in my own thought patterns. The "what can I eat next" thing. I honestly thought I was the only person in the world who could sit down to eat and from the first bite be thinking about what was in the kitchen to eat next.
I soooo hear you on the walking around the mountain. It's not the climb itself that's scary - it's the commitment to making the climb that often keeps me circling. And circling.
I truly admire the way you invest so much thought into your actions and I'm so glad it's going well for you.
edited to add: I forgot to mention the tofu. My new favorite addiction is watching cooking shows and trying to figure out which recipies can be adpated to using tofu. If you come up with any good ones, please share.
Last edited on 17 April 2006 08:00 pm by suenos
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 April 2006 04:33 pm |
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This is an interesting week so far -- my stomach somehow isn't a huge bulbous balloon anymore. Instead of one big blob -- or two big blobs, an upper blob and a lower, bigger blob -- it's starting to resemble my earlier self. There's still fat, but it's flatter and I can see obliques and maybe the upper abdominals, and there's a slight division between my ribcage and my stomach which most people call the waistline.
The coolest thing is that my period started this week, which for me is a great appetite suppresant, but it usually means I'm bloated for 4 or 5 days -- but not this time.
Trying to figure out what the magic thing was -- my mind wants to believe in magic things, even though I know better. So Susan, there's no magic thing -- it's about behavior changes. This is what you've known would happen if you made some changes and stuck to them and made them your normal routine.
So -- it's been no alcohol for 3 weeks, very little red meat, no more sweets, very little bread, extra fiber each day, lots more fish than usual, lots more omega 3s than usual, and running and interval training -- and much better lung capacity.
The body really does respond to what you put into it and what you do with it, if you really, really do commit to doing the right thing for yourself.
Oh, and I started dry brushing, too, which I'm really enjoying, and what people here said has been true -- not only is my skin smoother, but I'm developing a new appreciation for all of my body parts, instead of just looking at "her" in a mirror like she's somebody else -- looking in a mirror was becoming more of a test to see if that body was acceptable or unacceptable, and that's not a good pattern to get into, but that's where I've been for at least a year, probably longer. It's almost sad to be reacquainted with my calves and my back and my sides. I'm glad to cut back on the judging and increase the nurturing and care and self-respect.
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suenos
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 April 2006 05:53 pm |
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Okay, I can't decide if this is venturing off into the region of TMI or not but I'm dying to share this with you and see what you think so, here goes.....
Of the three phases of the menstrual cycle, during the luteal phase (from ovulation through the remainder of your mentstrual cycle) your estrogen levels are still elevated but the dominant hormone is progesterone. Distinct metobolic changes during this period include: increased resting energy expenditure, increased muscle blood flow to muscle, increased GH and IGF-1 levels (GH secretions are responsible for stimulating fat utilization while increasing lean muscle mass), increased insulin resistance, decreased glucose utilization, increased fat metabolism and decreased carbohydrate usage.
In a nutshell, none of this is going to have much impact on your cardio activity, but, if you are into weight training as well, this seems to be the best time to focus on increasing muscle strength and building lean muscle mass.
Also, (again probablyTMI), the first thing I noticed when my diet went from meat based to fish based - the menstrual bloat I've experienced all my life .... just didn't happen.
Okay, done sharing. Couldn't resist.;)
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CapeCoddess
New Member
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Posted: 1 May 2006 03:25 pm |
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Where'd everybody go??? This is such a great diary! I can relate to EVERYthing - garbage eating, broke my wrist the first time cross country skiing, quitting cigs, ALL of it! Rite down to the 3 s's in your handle.
So how are you doing, snussster? And where are you at with it all? I'm rootin' for ya!
CC
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