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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 2 February 2006 04:34 am |
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Okay, today marks day 9 of my quest to regain my body, and with it my self-esteem. I am going to journal everything I do and learn and hopefully it will help me from ever getting in this awful fat place again.
Starting weight was 185 lbs. which at 5'2 is crazy. Exercise was only what I did in the course of a normal work day and diet was anything and everthing I wanted to eat -- at any time. Can you say bag of doritos? Okay, nobody to blame but myself...not heredity, not being "big boned", not slow metabolism, just gluttony and laziness. Okay, so I can beat myself up about it, or I can take action. I chose action.
From day one to present I've lost exactly 4 lbs. Obviously what I'm doing in the short term is working so I'll continue it until I've lost a total of 10 lbs and then make some adjustments to reach the next 10 and so on. I think if I just look at it in little increments like that it will make it easier than to start off with the big picture.
Here's what I'm doing at present (and for the next 6 lbs.) the induction phase of Atkins with NO DEVIATION. Going to the gym 3 days a week. with 30 to 45 mins of cardio and 30 mins of light weights.
Two things I've noticed: I've finally stopped craving sweets, I recognize feeling full quicker.Last edited on 6 February 2006 07:23 pm by suenos
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 2 February 2006 04:45 am |
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Congrats on not making any excuses, and yes, I can!
"Bag of Doritos!"
Best wishes,
Peter
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j11princes
Member
| Joined: | 31 December 2005 |
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| Posts: | 136 |
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Posted: 2 February 2006 08:29 am |
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| Welcome, and good luck!! you can do it!!!!!!!!!!
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sheltiemom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 February 2006 05:12 pm |
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Congrats on the 4 pounds! I know what you mean about the self esteem issues. I know it shouldn't matter how I look--it's whats on the inside that counts, right--but I can't feel good about myself until I'm happy with the outside. Maybe I want to prove that I DO have self control, even when I don't.:P
It sounds like you have a great plan. We're here to cheer you on!
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 2 February 2006 08:13 pm |
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Txs to the above posters. Encouragement is always welcome.
Shopping trip this morning at Sam's with two girlfriends. Funny how almost every single female I know is on some kind of weight loss plan right now. Maybe it's the New Year influence.
Cindy is all about the fats. I thought she's have a heart attack when I put the blocks of cheese and log of sausage in my cart. But she's not exercising at all. We're going to have to just throw her into the car one day and shove her into the gym.
Arian is making no real changes to her diet because she says she's too picky an eater. But she is paying big bucks to a personal trainer who is working her so hard so is in constant pain.
Erma is my workout partner and her diet would make a cardiologist giggle with delight. Lots of fish, including wild salmon, lean meat, lots of dark green veggies and moderate fruit.
Eventually I'll adjust my diet, when it comes to long term maintenance to one like Em's. But for now it's me and Dr. Atkins all the way. I'm already salivating over my lunch plans: a grilled portabello mushroom cap stuffed with a layer of melted chedder and sprinkled with some chopped onion and chicken breast strips.
This is the third time in my life I've had to lose more than 40 lbs and I really have to remember how hard this is so I don't find myself in the same spot 7 years from now. I'm going to accept that there are foods I love that I just cannot eat - not today, not next month, not in two years. As good as that pint of butter pecan tastes, putting on a pair of size 3 jeans feels better
edited to replace the actual names of my friends with generic names.
Last edited on 3 March 2006 06:29 pm by suenos
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 3 February 2006 07:19 pm |
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I was so excited to weigh in today. I was wondering if the 4 lbs I lost last week was just water weight and today the scale would reflect either the same 4 lbs or even be up a lb or two. But, yey for me, another 2 lbs lost.
I did not, did not, did not want to work out this am. I'm going on 3 hours sleep and if it had not been for the fact that I knew Erma was counting on me to work-out with her I would have just bagged it. We made an agreement that we would only cancel on each other in the event of an unbreakable appointment or illness so I dragged my tired butt into sweats and went. So glad I did.
Only 4 lbs to go to reach my first mini-goal. I'm going to reward myself with a full manicure/pedicure when I hit that mark.:yumm: I need to buy a measuring tape. Don't know why I keep resisting it.
This week's workout routine:
Monday- too tired, #%@&! workout with me sorta "playing" with everything. Just kept body in motion for an hour.
Wends. - best workout so far. 15 mins interval (speed only) on treadmill to target  rate. Next 30 mins combo of 5 mins tread, 5 sets of 5 on ab crunch machine (total 125 crunches), followed by 15 mins on incline machine and 30 mins on stat. bike with moderate resistance ending with really good stretch out. 90 mins. of pushing myself to limits with cardio and weights. Felt so great afterward.
Friday - interval on treadmill for 30 mins increase/decrease both incline and speed. 30 mins of leg and butt work on weights followed by a looooooon 10 mins on rowing machine (16 boats passed me!!!) ended with 15 mins on treadmill.
This week's diet:
Mushrooms, cheese, sausage, iceberg lettuce, avocados, chicken, pork rinds, ground beef. 1 sugar free red bull prior to workout (except Monday). Two cups coffee per day with nutrasweet and half/half.
This week's highlights:
No more sugar cravings. This is huge because sweets are my downfall. I can't eat a single cookie or piece of candy like a rational person. I must eat the whole pack once I start. Last night Yvonne offered me half her cheese cake and I was totally uninterested. Wow!!!!
I actually know what amount of food is going to fill me up. Again huge!!!!For the last four days I have been able to go into my kitchen and know that a small salad with cheese cubes, or a piece of chicken and half an avacado is the amount of food that will satisfy me - and I am so amazed because it does. I think only someone who has ever been prone to just binging on food could understand how cool it feels to fix, eat and be totally satisfied by a normal food portion.
This week's lows:
I'm crazy tired. Don't know if its the lack of carbs, the increased exercise, the lack of proper sleep or some combination of everything.
Realized yesterday I had sorta lost my appitite which is NOT a good thing. Around 11 pm realized I had not eaten or thought of eating since lunch and forced myself to scarf a small salad. Had to force myself to eat breakfast after work-out today. Don't know what's going on with that. I know I need to eat to fuel my metabolism.Last edited on 29 June 2006 08:22 pm by suenos
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 4 February 2006 08:20 pm |
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The sweets were calling my name last night!!!! I drew the section right by the bakery. Impossible not to see and smell the warm soft cookies (sugar and macadamia nut and chocolate, oh my). Or the moist decadantly rich german chocolate cake. Found myself thinking "just one bite" and lost at least 33 bucks cause I just had to go on break and give up my lucrative section for a half hour. :(
Made myself a small mound of boiled shrimp on a bed of baby spinich leaves drizzled with olive oil and tossed some chopped black olives on top. Spent time making it a work of art. Funny cause I wasn't really hungry but I figured it would deter me from caving in to the allure of the baked goods. It soooo worked. Sailed through the rest of night without a glance at the cookies.
So, I guess my sweet cravings haven't gone away as much as I thought but at least I know I can block them pretty quicikly by eating something else.
It's funny cause around the same time Cindy was moaning and practically salivating about how much she wanted one of the cheese biscuits. I'm saying things like "if you want it so bad just get one, take one bite and throw away the rest". I read that advice somewhere. "No, if I just eat one bite I know I'll go back and get one more and one more and I'll be eating them all night."  A concept I can sooooo relate to.
Now, this whole thing is making me think about willpower. I've decided I don't believe in it when it comes to making lasting dietary changes . Seven years ago I lost 43 lbs in 8 weeks thru working with a personal trainer/nutritionist. It was the longest 8 weeks of my life. We had a 90 min session every day, six days a week. The first 30 mins were spent learning about food and going over my daily food intake and the last hour devoted to exercise. Since it was crazy expensive, I followed every single dietary rule set up for me. I did learn a lot about food but I still remember how hungry, hungry, hungry I was every hour of the day, every day of the week.
And I don't care how thin I am, I don't think it's mentally healthy to walk around in a state of perceived starvation. I know that's why reduced calorie, strictly portion control diets just don't work for me in the long term. I have great willpower for the short time it takes to achieve my weight loss goal, but I can't imagine myself feeling hungry the next 40 years of my life. Hunger is such a strong, really primal feeling. I have learned for me that, whether it takes 7 months or 7 years, eventually even the strongest willpower will break under the constant onslaught of hunger. "feed me Seymore!!!!!!" There are too many other things I can better exercise my willpower on - saving money, getting my degree, not going out with some loser just cause he looks good ().
Last edited on 29 June 2006 08:26 pm by suenos
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 4 February 2006 09:14 pm |
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suenos wrote:
The sweets were calling my name last night!!!! I drew the section right by the bakery. Impossible not to see and smell the warm soft cookies (sugar and macadamia nut and chocolate, oh my). Or the moist decadantly rich german chocolate cake. Found myself thinking "just one bite" and lost at least 33 bucks cause I just had to go on break and give up my lucrative section for a half hour. :(
Made myself a small mound of boiled shrimp on a bed of baby spinich leaves drizzled with olive oil and tossed some chopped black olives on top. Spent time making it a work of art. Funny cause I wasn't really hungry but I figured it would deter me from caving in to the allure of the baked goods. It soooo worked. Sailed through the rest of night without a glance at the cookies.
Way to go, and the salad sounds good!
Peter
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 5 February 2006 08:24 am |
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| Peter, if you read my journal today (and I know you will, heee heee), I have a question for you. Is there a correlation between my sudden loss of appetite and the fact that I am only consuming about 16-18 carbs a day? I am truly hungry enough to enjoy about one meal a day and the rest are starting to feel like a forced feeding. I started out being crazy hungry for the first four days, to being able to recognize I was full after a reasonable meal to just feeling full all the time. Even when I was craving sweets last night I recognized I wasn't really hungry, just the sight and smell of the cookies triggered my "must eat now" response. I've read everything I can find but nothing really addresses this. Is my body just weird?????
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 5 February 2006 09:57 am |
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Send me an e-mail if you want to be sure. I skim most posts but just don't have time to read them all.
Weird? I have NEVER heard of anyone quite like myself. I feel hungry about three times a year.
Usually it's after I haven't eaten for awhile, and I'll be passing food that really looks and/or smells good. It's such an unusual feeling... I actually feel hungry!
I think years and years of an eating disorder just messed me up. So now I have to pretty much remind myself to eat.
The biggest problem is in the morning. I'll start working on my PC with my OJ, intending to eat my oatmeal early so I can be off to the gym. But I can easily slip till noon or later without bothering to stop to eat. Then breakfast is so late the lunch runs into dinnertime.
Sometimes I'll practically be forcing down the breakfast, but by dinner (if I didn't eat a late lunch) eating is just fine.
As you can see, it's hard for me to relate to 99% of the people posting in this forum that feel starved by their diets!
Even when I pigged out on junk food sunrise to sunset and beyond, I don't really remember ever feeling hungry. Of course I wouldn't since I was always stuffing myself! I was stuffing down the food to stuff down the feelings.
Well, that's another topic.
So I didn't really answer anything about you except to say that we're all a little different, and if you think you're weird... you're not alone!
Peter
P.S.
Oh, I guess I REALLY missed your question. Just read your post again.
I know nothing really about Atkins except what I wrote my FAQ about it. I mean I don't know how eating so few carbs might affect your appetite.
My diet a 180 from yours.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 6 February 2006 03:33 am |
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Found an answer to the appitite loss thing so now I can stop worrying about it. Apparently it is the decrease in carbs and its a normal and desired side effect. Who knew?
Today was not a good food day. Only had two hours of sleep and my plans to eat breakfast at work fell through cause it was unusually busy first thing in the a.m. until around noon. Only had 15 min break for lunch and opted to use the time for a smoke and cup of coffee instead of a quick lunch. Healthy choice. Insisted on a full 40 min break at dinner, grilled chicken breast, two slice ham and some collard greens. Weight loss aside, I know I cannot expect my body to put in an 11 hour work day fueled by coffee, 1 small meal and practically no sleep.
I'm not going to beat myself up but I am going to get a few mini tins of tuna fish and little cheese squares to take to work in case I don't have time to sit down and eat. I'm mad at myself for being so unprepared. I just made totally unhealth y choices I have to avoid in the future.
Oh well, tommorrow is another day.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 6 February 2006 08:02 pm |
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Today starts week three. Weighed this am, still 179 which means I've averaged 3 lbs a week loss in first two weeks. Rationally I know that's a good progress rate but emotionally I want to see bigger numbers. I want to be on of those chicks on the "the biggest loser" show and hear "you've lost 15 lbs this week". Oh well, I have a life and can't devote 24/7 to working out. I kinda wish I could.
Really really great workout this morning. I was so tired I was tempted to call Erma and beg off. I started on the treadmill just thinking how much I did not want to be there. About 10 mins in I started doing speed and incline intervals and after 20 mins. I was in some kind of zone. I got this huge surge of energy and just wanted to keep going forever. It felt so good that at each speed/incline peak I pushed higher and higher. Followed cardio with chest/back and upper arm weight routine. Left the gym feeling more energetic than I have felt in almost a year. Endorphine rush?
Diet wise I have completed the two week induction period and can start to slowly increase my carbs. I'm going to include a small amount of almonds and cream cheese just to add some variety and crunch to my diet three days a week. This will bring my carb count up from about 15 to 30 on those days. I'm guessing that if only eat the higher carb foods on mornings immediately following my workouts it won't have an impact on my weight loss.
Gosh, this diet was just so hard to start but I really feel like I'm finally doing something about being fat instead of feeling bad about it.
Last edited on 29 June 2006 08:28 pm by suenos
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 7 February 2006 05:45 pm |
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Today is both an off day from work and a no gym day. Woohoo!
Had this huge epiphany yesterday. I'm shallow and superficial but I gotta be honest about my motivation for dieting and exercising. When I was thin, I took great pains to look good. I went clothes or shoe shopping at least weekly. At some point in my creeping weight gain over the last few years I stopped shopping for clothes that made me look good (cause nothing really did) and started looking for clothes that hid the flab. Clothes shopping became a humiliating experience that I began to put off until absolutly unavoidable. And with every pound I gained, I became increasingly invisible to the attractive half of the male population. My outgoing, fun-loving, confident personality slowly turned inward and passive. I've turned down participating in so many activities and meeting new people because I hated the way I looked. Which made me feel even more isolated and quick to seek consolation in butter pecan ice cream. So, the truth is, I don't want to lose weight to be healthier, I just wanna be perceived as "hot" again. That said, onward to journalling my boring diet activities.
Added the 15 grams extra carbs but deviated from my plan to use them in my post work-out snack. Instead mixed up a yummy yummy concoction of lime suger-free jello, cream cheese and almonds. Stuck it in the freezer and had as my post dinner snack. Sooooo good and I'm thinking - only 15 carbs. Big mistake. Last night woke up starving at 3am. And I mean starving. The kind of starving that has propelled me into a potoato chip binge in the past. Ate a spare rib left over from dinner and went back to sleep.
I think I'm going to have to dump the cream cheese for now and just keep the almonds, but dispersed through the day, and only on work-out days. Disappointing but it confirmed that a certain amount of carbs do trigger my appitite. And that's a beast best left sleeping.
Down the line I want to include a moderate amount of fresh fruit and increase my raw veggie intake as part of my lifetime eating plan. I'm just going to have to keep playing around with it until I can slowly figure out the ratio of protien/fat/carb that works best for me. After last night, I suspect that carbs are always going to be my trigger to overeat.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 8 February 2006 07:11 pm |
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HAPPY HAPPY WORKOUT. 40 mins intense cardio, 20 mins. arms chest and back weight, good sets with no cheating, 20 more mins cardio followed by abs. I was thinking I should increase workouts to four days instead of three but that rest period in between days seems to be increasing my endurance and energy levels so I guess I should let it be for the near future.
Weighed in at 179 still. Actually didn't expect to see any loss since I know I'm retaining water right now. I was sweating so hard today I thought I'd weigh right after my workout to get an idea of how much water I'd lost so I can roughly adjust my water consumption through the rest of the day. Talk about water retention, I had actually "gained" 1/2 lb which had to be the roughly 46 oz of water drunk during the work-out.
Don't know how I'm going to get through the next 3 days without chocolate. It's hormonally necessary or I will be impossible to be around. I'm thinking I can figure something out with unsweetened bakers chocolate, gelatin and almonds. I want a hershey bar. sniff, sniff.
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sheltiemom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 February 2006 08:39 pm |
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| I think that Russell Stovers makes some low carb chocolate. At least it will be something to get you through the craving time.
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Mountain Mike
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 February 2006 09:37 pm |
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Suenos,
May I suggest that you do a little cupboard clearing (if this is an issue) to remove the sources of temptation? At least for me, battles over what to eat are best fought in the grocery store when I have a clearer head...instead of at 10 PM in front of the TV!
If all there is to eat are baby carrots and celery...then that is what the snack will be.
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Javan
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 February 2006 09:42 pm |
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| My GF cleared out her cupboards when se started her diet. She gave out huge bags of food to her relatives. Mine had some good food and some bad food in it. She said it was the only way to do it. The only change I have had to make is to cut down on the alcohol and not buy the chocolate chip cookies!!
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 9 February 2006 03:24 am |
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I just ate a huge bowl of chocolate almond ice cream. Just kidding, he he.
Actually after obsessing for the entire day I made up my own low carb version of chocolate ice cream. When I adjust to a higher carb/lower fat diet in a couple of weeks I can just subtitute the cream cheese with nefenschal cheese. I'm going to write down the recipe so I can refer to it next month when the chocolate monster hits.
8 oz cream cheese, 1 pk unflavored geletin, 1 square unsweetened bakers chocolate, 1/4 cup cold coffee, 1/4 cup finely chopped almonds, 1/8 cup nutrasweet.
Blend cream cheese, geletin, almonds and nutrasweet until smooth, slowly add 2 1/2 cups boiling water, mix with choc. square till it looks like a big bowl of choc. milk, add coffee. Freeze 1/2 hour, blend, freeze 1/2 hour blend, finish freezing.
Made 8 good size or 10 small servings. Totally satisfied my chocolate craving and did'nt feel the desire to eat more than small serving.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 9 February 2006 04:52 pm |
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Today is a non-gym day so I have one whole hour to sit here, drink coffee and contemplate my navel before getting on with my day.
So, I 'm sitting here wondering how I managed to go from 125 lbs to 185. Obviously it was a choice because nobody held me down and forced me to eat pizza and fried chicken and ice cream and pie and potato chips every day. Somewhere along the line I made the decision to get fat because, despite knowing the consequences, and having other choices, I kept stuffing myself.
I saw this show where this poor guy is almost 1000 lbs and obviously miserable. The scary part is that, despite his inability to even go to the bathroom unaided, he got this huge rush of happiness from eating donuts. Scary because I could totally relate to that feeling.
This is so embarrassing to admit even to myself. But I can flashback to me sitting on the sofa with a hot pizza in front of me and being really, truly, deeply happy before I started to eat...and eat....and eat.
I realize that, for whatever reason, I've developed an unhealthy emotional attachment to food. Unless I break that connection and stop emotionally equating food with comfort, no matter how much weight I lose, I am destined to gain it back. I have to begin to look at why I eat as much as what I eat.
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sheltiemom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2006 06:36 pm |
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| Oh, girlfriend....I can relate! I call it 'self-medicating.' When I'm down, I eat. When I'm stressed, I eat. On the other hand, I eat to celebrate, too. What are most social occasions centered around? Food. I pray every day that God will help me learn to eat for fuel, not for fun. I guess it's an obsession. But we'll get through it!
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2006 08:53 pm |
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I think that Russell Stovers makes some low carb chocolate. At least it will be something to get you through the craving time.
Yes they do!! Very yummy, but...When I ate it I had MAJOR Gastric distress!!! Read in BH&G's diabetic living... "because some sugar alcohols can cause gas or have a laxative effect". I told my friends I thought it may be some "fake" fiber thing. Then joking I said "maybe chocolate exlax". Little did I know how right I was. Must tell Mom not to think she's treating me to something I can have, BEFORE Valentines Day
For the holidays I made a chocolate moose (?) with sugar free chocolate pudding and cool whip, using 1% milk and lite cool whip. Put it in pretty desert cups and ate it with a small spoon. Smaller spoon makes it last longer, let it melt on your tongue like Ice Cream. Even my non-dieting friend said it was good.
Lee
Last edited on 9 February 2006 09:05 pm by personsmom
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 10 February 2006 06:54 pm |
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2 lbs down, 2 lbs down, 2 lbs down. Did I say 2 lbs down.
Week one: -4 lbs
Week two: -2 lbs
Week three: -2 lbs
Guess it's safe to say now that I'm averaging -2 lbs a week. I'm pretty sure the first week's 4 lbs represented some water weight loss. If I just stay on track the next seven days I'll be at my first goal of 10 lbs loss.
I'm sooo ready to start reducing the fat in my diet and adding some more fresh veggies. Can't believe I'm craving broccoli. Realized this am that in the last 19 days I've consumed almost nothing that comes in a can, box, bag, bottle or jar.
Super work-out this am. 30 mins high intensity cardio. Today was last in cycle of arms, chest and back weights, next week onto abs, thighs and butt. I'm actually starting to enjoy my work-outs now that I have enough energy and stamina to really push myself.
Thanks to those who posted suggestions and encouragement. The cool-whip things sound like something fast to prepare and good to have on hand.
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sheltiemom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 February 2006 07:07 pm |
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| CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'd kill for 2 pounds a week. ;) You're doing great!
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 11 February 2006 07:25 pm |
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This week's workout routine:
Every gym day was a great one. My first day working out again three weeks ago max intensity on treadmill was 0 incline and 4 speed, it was a mental/physical struggle to maintain that rate for 30 mins, 1 mile. Came home that first Monday, called in from work and slept 3 hours. This Friday was able to effortless do intervals with max intensity at 13.5 incline and 5.5 speed, 1.67 mile.
Chest, back, abs weights routine. No significant improvement in # sets/reps, still struggling a little with proper form and remembering to not hold my breath.
This week's diet:
Mushrooms of all variety, chedder and cream cheeses, sausage, iceberg lettuce, avocados, chicken, almonds, cabbage, steak, red bull, geletin, 1 1" cube unsweetend baker chocolate, pork loin, eggs, shrimp. Two cups coffee per day with nutrasweet and half/half.
This coming week going to eliminate cream cheese (seems to trigger sweet cravings), replace sausage with Orange Roughy and swap pork loin with broccoli. Should increase fiber and carbs and reduce fat but not affect weight loss or increase appetite.
This week's highlights:
I've had crazy energy this week. Portion control is still coming pretty easily, small amounts just fill me up quickly and leave me full for a long time. I read that this is because of the higher fat content of my meals. I guess this next week I'll learn pretty quickly how high I need to keep the fat ratio to avoid wanting to overeat. Oh yeah, and I lost 2 lbs.
This week's lows:
SWEET CRAVINGS. Mostly for chocolate. It is my unscientific but unshakable opinion that women need chocolate once a month. It keeps us from killing all the men.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 February 2006 05:43 pm |
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About that epiphany you had:
Right on, Suenos -- I'm floating in the same boat of thought with you. I was invited to several parties over the holidays but didn't go to any except my office Christmas party, but only because I had to, and because those people see me and my ever-expanding gut and puffy face every day. The thought of dressing up this body -- not my body! My body is supposed to be thin and elegant and stunning like it used to be -- was not a happy thought, and what would I dress it up in? Nothing fits right anymore and I can't allow myself to invest money in a larger size. Thinking of walking into a room filled with people I haven't seen since last summer and knowing in my head that I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life, constantly tugging at my clothing to make sure it's laying right because I have to pay extra attention to how the bulges are presented -- I just couldn't do it. So what did I do instead? Sat at home and ate ice cream and felt bad anyway. I rarely fix myself up anymore, but I used to get so much pleasure from looking good. I watch tv commercials and think, "when I'm 25 again I'm gonna be so beautiful, and I'll dress like that" but 25 is long gone. There may be hope, because jennifer Aniston is my age, Sara Jessica Parker is my age. Oh well. I think you're on your way -- you've made terrific progress, and you're inspiring me to stick with my plan. One day we can both go out in public and rack up the glances and stares we get!
Yours in shared shallowness,
Susan
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nevd
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 February 2006 08:42 pm |
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Come on, now, Susan!
There's nothing to be ashamed of in wanting to get into better shape..
And as for shallowness, shared or otherwise, those glances and stares you mention are what makes the world go around.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember, a positive self-image is a good thing to acquire before you reach your body weight aim.
NevD 
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 13 February 2006 02:41 am |
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Eight am breakfast meeting at work this morning. Consolation was "free meal" following meeting. I'm sitting there going "Why would you take a perfectly good piece of beef, flatten it like a pancake, coat it in flour, deep fry it, smother it in gravy made from flour and fat drippings and serve it for the first meal of the day." Anyway......
I did some reading last night and decided to alter my food plan for the coming week. First, I am making the following substitutions: green tea instead of coffee to eliminate the cream, olive oil instead of veg oil in salad dressing, montery jack cheese instead of cheddar and pecans instead of almonds. The relatively small changes will allow me to add 1/2 cup of raw spinach to either lunch or dinner without increasing carb intake and affecting weight loss. I was like a mad scientist with my little calculator and charts, muttering "must find way to include spinach". I'm trying to learn to choices now that I can live with for a lifetime. I have to keep reminding myself, I am not "on a diet", I am making changes to my eating habits. Anyway.......
To Susan: the buying clothes in a different size thing was my wake-up call. I went to buy a pair of jeans and the size 15 barely fastened. Since I'd been avoiding clothes shopping, it was like a splash of cold water. I left the store resolving that I was going to lose weight, get back in shape and stay that way. It took a few more weeks (and lots of ice cream) to actually take the first step, but that shopping trip planted the seed. I don't know what your personal weight loss plan is, but whatever it is just stick with it and I'm sure you'll succeed. There's lots of room in the shallow end of the pool (lol).
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 13 February 2006 07:00 pm |
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Interesting work-out today. After warm up started with incline at 4% and speed at 3. Every 2 mins. increased speed and/or incline, concentrated on posture, keeping my arms pumping and breathing. At 22 mins. I was at 10% incline and 4.5 speed, still breathing easily, not sweating and minimal increase in heart rate. I finally had to start running to get my heart rate up. I hate running. But I told myself I would stop as soon as it became uncomfortable. Oddly enough I was actually enjoying it and did 3 mins. running, 2 mins fast walking, for another 20 mins with incline on 10%. So happy with myself for going past the 2 mile mark. If nothing else my cardio fitness level is really improving. Started abs/butt/thigh routine with weights. For some reason I find it boring compared to my upper body routine but I'm going for total body toning so I'll just slog it out the rest of the week.
I've started doing this mental 20 questions with myself every time I think about eating. What was my last meal? How long ago? What else am I feeling? Am I actually physically hungry? etc. Sounds nutty but I'm learning to seperate when I want to eat because I'm actually hungry and when food is just a substitute for something else.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 14 February 2006 07:14 pm |
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Yesterday was not one of my better food days. I'm trying to make sure my food is spaced out in small portions through the day and did pretty good this last week. Yesterday it soooo did not happen. I ate two meals at home and planned on getting in some talapia, broccoli, cheese and grilled chicken while at work. Naturally, we ended up being both short staffed and super busy. Forget making time to eat - I was literally doing what my friend calls the "pee pee dance" before I could make time to bolt for the bathroom!!!
I didn't get home until nearly midnight. I could'nt decide which was worse, going 24 hours on 1/4 of my normal intake (especially on a work-out day), or going to bed right after eating. Finally I just ate a couple poached eggs and piece of cheese and forced myself to stay up until 3 am so I was'nt going to bed on a full stomach. Figured it was the lesser of two evils. Sometimes life gets in the way of the best laid plans I guess.
Tommorrow I'm going to a Phillipino Kareoke party (huge fun) which always includes a ton of food (including yummy lumpia). The girl hosting the party was thoughtful enough to ask me for a list of my preferred foods is making a chicken salad especially for me!!!! Unfortunately I know that I am going to have to fend off friends assuring me that I can eat the noodles because they are "low fat" and "it's a party, you can work it off in the gym tommorrow", "Oh just a little won't hurt" and my favorite, "but (fill in the blank) is good for you".
Why, why, why do the people I know assume I will want, need and will heed thier unsolicited advice. Okay, that sounds mean. But everyone who knows me is aware that I am serious about losing weight. Prior to starting I did, and continue to do, a ton of research. I'm trying to apply every lesson learned from past dietary success and failure. I've developed both short term, long term, and maintenance plans that I adjust frequently. Obviously I'm doing something right. I'm running around with tons of energy, my overall fitness level has improved and my body is slowly starting to look better.
But honestly, I think more diets have been derailed by well meaning, (and not so well meaning) friends, family and co-workers.
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Be A Cow
Senior Member
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Posted: 14 February 2006 08:22 pm |
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It's funny, I get advice from pretty much everyone too. Whether I want it or not. Because I don't ask for it. And one funny thing is the people who tell me I do things wrong are generally not a body type I want to have. (Nor do they lead the same lifestyle--activity level, occupation, hobbies, etc) I talk to my mom for advice. I also understand that I do talk about dieting a lot--but I just generally want to talk about it, I don't ask for advice. Everyone seems to want to help--and they ARE trying to be nice, but . . . I now have chosen to only discuss/talk about my diet efforts with supportive individuals who listen. I don't bring up the subject with the "other" individuals--and the ones I'm close enough to, I've asked not to bring it up. (This is a little mean, I think, of me--but . . .) I feel that I'm on my own research path, and I want to be the one in control of that, I've done too much second guessing in the past I think. (I hope you don't mind the rant :))
Good luck with more success---you do sound as if you're doing well :)
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 February 2006 08:50 pm |
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"Oh just a little won't hurt" and my favorite, "but (fill in the blank) is good for you".
My answer for this is. "That's great then you can have my share" and move on!
But honestly, I think more diets have been derailed by well meaning, (and not so well meaning) friends, family and co-workers.
It's called "Sabatoge"!!!!!! Some may be envious of your will power or stamina. You've worked too hard to let their opinion, although maybe well meant, to set you back. Keep the positive motion going. It may not hurt you physically but if it changes your mindset then it's wrong. Think of how you will feel after, will it be worth it? Don't allow them to make you feel guilty because they think they know what's right for you.
Remember the words of Synicalchick "E E E V V V I I I L L L"  A treat is one you choose!
Lee
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 14 February 2006 08:57 pm |
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HOLY FRIGGING COW!!!!!!!! I had to jump back on-line and add this to my diary. I was rooting around in my closet for something to wear to tommorrow's party (this baggy blue sweater or that baggy green sweater or, hmmm, maybe that baggy red sweater). Shoved way in the back was a pair of size 12 jeans. I figured I would try them on just to give me a little extra motivation to keep on track.
They went up the thighs, past the hips and friggin zipped and snapped with ease. And they are comfortable, even sitting down (I'm wearing them now, hee hee). I am so shocked!! And excited!!! I'm gonna wear these pants all day (even to clean my oven!) I might even sleep in them. Honestly, I have never had a single piece of cheese cake in my life that felt as good as these pants right now.
For the inevitable day that I seriously consider blowing off a work-out or indulging in "just one (fill in the blank)" I'm gonna come back to this post and remind myself of the rewards of discipline.
Now I gotta go wash my car - in my size 12 jeans.
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personsmom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 14 February 2006 09:16 pm |
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LOL BIG TIME!! :D Doesn't it feel GREAT!!! Maybe a personal fashion show, with the clothes in the back of the closet. We all have them! Don't forget to count the calories. Calories X the amount of outfits you try!!
 Congratulations 
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Snow
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 February 2006 05:21 am |
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| Suenos, that is so awesome. I know I have held on to some of my favorite jeans from before I gained weight. I don't think I could get them past my knees right now, but I would love to be able to wear them again! I also kept a little black dress that I used to wear that I looked awesome in (if I do say so myself). Keep up the good work!
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 February 2006 07:45 am |
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Right on, Suenos!!!!!!!
That's the best news I've heard all day. The best Valentine's Day present a woman could give herself, i think! Makes me want to experience it, too -- thanks for telling us, because you're our new hero. Fantastic.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 15 February 2006 11:16 pm |
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A big "txs guys" for the encouragment and support. I'm kinda surprised by the lack of support from friends and co-workers (except my best friend who is awsome). It's so weird. The women I know who are thin are just genetically predisposed that way, don't understand what it is to seriously diet and I didn't expect much by way of support there. But lots of people I know are overweight, a couple even started dieting around the same time I did, and I thought we would be mutual sources of inspiration, encouragement and support. NOT. Soooooo NOT.
Today is normally a gym day but my work-out partner had to change it to tommorrow so I could'nt do my usual Wens. weigh-in. Since I was already up I decided to go shopping. In my head I was semi-convinced that I had uncovered some magical "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" in my closet and pants from "a real store" wouldn't really fit in a size 12. I seriously walked around with a pair of jeans in my hand about 20 mins. before I could get up the nerve to go into the fitting room. I just did not want to feel the disappointment if they did not fit. Finally I said, "what the heck" and grabbed a size 12 top as well and plunged in. Of course they both fit and I felt like a dork.
The best part is I rewarded myself with a new sports bra and my very own exercise stepper instead of a food treat. I feel like I've reached a mini-goal but the prize is still uphill.
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GreenEater
Member
| Joined: | 9 February 2006 |
| Location: | Midwest, USA |
| Posts: | 48 |
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Posted: 16 February 2006 01:36 am |
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| Congratulations on fitting into your jeans! That's great news. It must feel so good to have a tangible result. Keep going!
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 16 February 2006 05:04 pm |
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| uhg. sick. started feeling punk late yesterday, went to bed feeling sick, woke up with fever, sore throat and feeling like i'd been run over by a truck. called off gym, called out from work. thought of food or any drink other than water makes me ill. Just going to spend the day laying around like a slug and drinking water till I burst. So irritating because I had a thousand plans for today.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 February 2006 05:27 pm |
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I used to think I was one of those thin women who never had to diet or watch calories, and maybe I was, for a while. So I kept eating like a horse and kind of flaunted it, and lo and behold, what-goes-around-comes-around, as my mother always says -- I gained weight and can't eat like that anymore. It was almost like waking up one day and realizing I couldn't be part of "that club" anymore!
And now I'm on the other side, looking at the women in "that club," watching them have huge take-out lunches from delis and thai restaurants and Mexican restaurants, while I'm having my big salad and measuring the dressing and writing it all down. At first I was jealous and resentful of them and blamed it on the fact that they haven't turned 40 yet. I'm still marveling over how different every body is, and how I'll have to find my own path, my own way to feel good and look good. The thoughts of "Well, Kristin's having a chimichanga for lunch, and she's thin and in great shape, so the chimi must be the key to Nirvana!" -- those are slowly being replaced with "I know a chimichanga doesn't make me feel good, physically or emotionally -- but my big salad is life-giving and life-supporting and it's one little building block to the long-term healthier, thinner me."
I love this forum too -- I get nothing but pure positivity and encouragement here. Keeps me on track for the right reasons.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 16 February 2006 10:21 pm |
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snussster wrote: The thoughts of "Well, Kristin's having a chimichanga for lunch, and she's thin and in great shape, so the chimi must be the key to Nirvana!" --
Oh, that reminds me of advice along the lines of "just follow a thin person around and do/eat what they do/eat and you'll be thin too"!!!!
I'm so with you in the concept of finding and following an individual path. Of course when I was a college freshman I kept having all these profound original insights only to discover that some guy who died about 100 years ago had reached "my" conclusions first. :D So maybe we'll keep marching down what we perceive as our individual paths only to reach the end and find a crowd of millions there going "hey, what took you so long?"
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 17 February 2006 01:09 am |
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Being sick is bad enough...being sick and having my brain suddenly decide that only a giant bowl of popcorn dripping with butter and salt will make me feel better is sheer torture. I was thiiiiiiiis close. The popcorn, oil and salt are still sitting on the shelf at Winn-Dixie but I actually went to the store. I bought hair products instead, came home and Dyed my hair jet black and flat-iorned it. I know, I know, but desperate measures and all that. During the process I figured out why my brain was connecting popcorn (which I like but not THAT much) to being sick. It was my mother's version of chicken soup.
Fortunately that particular urge has passed but.....this better be a 24 hour bug or I will end up with pink hair or bald.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 17 February 2006 06:47 pm |
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Not one of my better workouts this am.:( Still feeling a little punky, my work-out partner was sick and couldn't meet me, haven't exercised in four days due to my own illness, didn't have much energy after being sick, blah, blah, whine, whine.
So, I basically showed up, did a thirty-min circuit and called it a day. Not sure if I burned any calories or did my body a favor by pushing it. But at least I did it. I have such a pattern of abandoning exercise completely if I don't force myself to stick to a routine. I'm struggling to not fall back into that seductive pattern.
Today is normally a weigh-in day for me but I resisted the scale. Monday marks exactly one month since I started this process and I want to weigh in and get some measurements then. So I have some extra motivation to be really good over the week-end.
Jeeze, I'm just so tired right now, I already know work is going to kick my butt tonight. More whine, whine.
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Mountain Mike
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 February 2006 07:37 pm |
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Hi Susan,
Sorry to hear you have not been feeling well... hang in there, stay tough, and resist the evil popcorn!!!!!!
I'm going up to the mountains to stay at a friend's cabin; there is sure to be lots of temptation up there... plus opportunities to take long walks. I must choose the latter.
Being slender feels better than anything you can eat!
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sheltiemom
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 February 2006 07:55 pm |
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'Hope you're getting better. The yuck has been going around the office--I've had it twice myself. Take care of yourself.
Congrats on the jeans! I'm so proud of you! I can't wait to wear a size 12 jean (tight 16s now). When those jeans get too big, ship 'em down to me!:P
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 February 2006 09:30 am |
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| Nah Suenos, you'll start exercising again soon. You're tough and smart, and those jeans are still calling your name. In your very first post you said you could choose to feel bad, but instead, you choose action. I don't doubt you for one minute.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 18 February 2006 05:35 pm |
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AY yi yi - I woke up to the sun shining, the birds singing (I Florida) and feeling energetic, enthusiastic, and 100% physically normal again. Today's normally a non-gym day so I'm gonna put on a work-out tape and break-in my new stair-stepper before work. I wasn't able (or didn't choose) to follow up on my intended work-out plans this past week but I stuck 100% to my eating plan.
Soooo.... this week-end is a big, huge personal milstone. It will be the end of exactly 30 days since I started. Being honest with myself, I'm don't think I really believed when I started that I would keep going to this point. I'm actually even wondering if I somehow subconciously "allowed myself" to get sick right after seeing visable success so I could give myself permission to fall backwards. Sometime soon I have to sit down and think about the whole "fear of success" thing and see if (or rather how) it may be affecting other areas of my life.
Meanwhile, I have the next 30 days of meals and work-outs to map out. One thing I figured out is that, unlike previous times, losing weight and getting in shape is as much about what's going on in my head as what I do with my body. Sometimes a cookie is just a cookie. But sometimes it's about sooooo much more.
Meanwhile I've come up with some questions (but no answers) I've got to figure out and write down before formulating the nuts and bolts of my next month's plan:
1. What do I realistically hope to accomplish in the next 30 days and what do I have to do to get there?
2. What have I learned in the last 30 days that I can bring forward?
3. What can I do to stay motivated and on track?
Wooops, just remembered I've got a baby shower this afternoon which I've totally forgotten to shop for so I guess I should get my body in motion.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 19 February 2006 08:57 am |
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So, went to baby shower this afternoon. I had intended to take some pretty little bowls of sugar free jello pudding. I figured I could keep one in my hand like a prop and it would be sort of like nursing a glass of ginger ale when you don't want to drink and don't want to be bugged about why you're not drinking. But I really mismanaged my time today and it didn't happen. So naturally it was repeated "oh you've just got to taste a little bit of my ponzi" and "just have one of my lumpia".
I was so not enjoying myself that I left before the presents were opened. Only hours later did I realize that no one was trying to undermine my diet or anything so sinister. Really these were just very nice women who had put a lot of time, thought and effort into making their best dishes and wanted to share them with friends. I really, really have to learn to handle these situations better.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 20 February 2006 02:40 am |
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2nd Thirty Day Weight Loss Plan:
1. What do I realistically hope to accomplish in the next 30 days:
comfortably fit into a pair of size 8 pants and a "medium" top.
sustain my current energy level
improve my fitness level
2. What do I have to do to get there?
continue to lose fat through diet
affect body shape by changing work-out routine to following:
Mon/Wen/Fri: 40 min. interval on treadmill, 20 min. circuit on weights
Tues/Thurs/Sat: weight routine only, in rotation - arms/chest/abs, back/butt/abs, thighs/abs
3. What have I learned in the last 30 days that I can bring forward?
Not to eat unless I am actually, physically hungry
If I am not hungry, eat a small portion anyway if it has been more than 4 hours since last meal.
Eat slow enough to notice when I'm full and just stop - no matter how much is left on plate. It still feels a little "wrong" somehow to leave uneatened food on the plate but it's getting easier.
Not to do anything else while I'm eating, even if it's just a lite snack. Other activity distracts me from recognizing when I'm full. No reading, no talking on phone, no t.v., no nothing.
To take however much time is necessary to prepare detailed meal plan a week ahead and make sure all ingredients are premeasured and ready to prepare in kitchen. It's starting to take less and less time as I can now pretty much eyeball and correctly guess portion sizes.
Accepted that cravings for certian foods, especially rich desserts, will come when I least expect them. They will also pass. I just have to remember that - they will pass.
Finally got real with myself about what I'm never gonna be able to do, namely, eat certian foods that I love: ice cream, pizza, bread and and pastries. For whatever reason, even small portions of these foods always have, and always will, send me off into an overeating marathon. Am I willing to spend the rest of my life losing and gaining weight because I refuse to accept the idea of not having an "occassional" cookie?
4. What can I do to stay motivated and on track the next 30 days?
As long as I remember these I'll be okay
It feels good to wake up every day not regretting what I ate the night before.
It feels good to be in control over how much I eat.
It feels good to go out into the world satisfied with my appearance.
Nothing in the world tastes as good as these things feel to me.
This week's workout routine:
Except for Monday, pretty much a wash. Excited to start new routine tommorrow.
This week's diet:
Portabello Mushrooms, chedder and jack cheeses, spinach, broccoli, iceberg lettuce, avocados, chicken, almonds, pecans, cabbage, fish, steak, red bull, 1 meal replacement bar, 1 protien shake, ground beef, eggs, shrimp, green tea.
This coming week going to increase carbs by 5 grams, adding rasberries and replacing iceberg with bok choy. Replacing ground beef with turkey.
This week's highlights:
Bought a really really cute pair of size 12 jeans, discovered a yummy meal replacement bar I can eat at work when all else fails and bought my very own stair stepper.
This week's lows:
Managed to catch "grunge" that seems to be going around work. Screwed up work-out routine; also led to a two hour fixation on the wonders of hot, buttered, salted popcorn in a giant bowl and a head of Morticia Adams hair.
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snussster
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 20 February 2006 06:51 am |
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Lovely plan, Suenos. And the "this will pass" will really be helpful for us when we're ready to perform our "next trick" -- the Disappearing Cigarette Act. I'm trying to tell myself that each cigarette is like a stick of butter. may not have the calories, but it does the same thing -- and more -- to my body.
How's the hair? I get a kick out of picturing Morticia on the couch, eating popcorn!
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 20 February 2006 07:44 pm |
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Super, super, super work-out. yay! I was so scared that the six days lapse was going to really set me back. But I guess I had a lot of stored energy because it felt soooo good. 40 mins speed and incline intervals with highest peak at 15%/5.5. 2.5 miles between warm-up and cool down. My poor work-out partner was not feeling the love. She kept shooting me these "can we pleeeese stop now" looks. When we reached 400 calories burned I said "see, that's about 1/2 of one piece of lumpia".
Could not even get near the equipment needed to do planned upper body weights. The weight room was unusually crowded for a Monday (must be cause of the holiday) so had to start off this week's cycle with abs, thigh and butt.
Kinda unhappy about weigh-in. According to scale I've gained 1 lb. Logically I know I have not regained a pound of fat in one week and the scale is probably reflecting an increase in heavier muscle tissue gained after 4 weeks of weight training. But still.
Anyway, it makes me glad I set my goal this month for a reduction in size rather than a specific number of pounds lost. Going to finally buy tape measure (and skin calipers if I can find them) after work tonight. I'm going to try to ignore the scale the next four weeks and measure my progress by inches and body fat lost rather than pounds.
Must be the post-exercise endorphines but I'm just feeling happy and looking forward to the coming week.
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