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socks
New Member
| Joined: | 4 January 2010 |
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| Posts: | 2 |
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Posted: 5 January 2010 03:13 am |
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I am 37 years old, 6'1 and 10 years ago I weighed 250 pounds. I didn't watch what I ate at all and was wearing a size 42 pants. Over 7 months I lost 60 pounds through diet and exercise and was happy being 190 pounds. Slowly I went back up to 220. I hated the way I looked and went pretty hardcore and dropped down to 172. Slowly I went back up but this time only to 189 pounds. This time I went ultra hardcore and went down to about 169 pounds in about 7 weeks. I put strict limits on my food intake, only low cal/low fat foods like cabbage, tomato, broccoli, deli lunch meats, etc...I felt sick, dizzy, had the shakes and would crash every afternoon but I was thrilled with the results. People I hadn't seen in years told me they thought I had cancer which to be honest made me feel really good. I am now wearing a size 32 pants and am terrified of going back to a size 34.
I am constantly pulling up my shirt to look at my stomach which to me still has a tiny bit of fat that I want gone. When I sleep I dream about exercising and losing weight, most of my conversations revolve around weight loss and food. With the Christmas holidays having just ended I am up to 173 and I am totally consumed with losing this extra weight. My wife is saying I am anorexic or starting to become anorexic...I want to go back to 170 but am worried that soon 170 will be too much, then 160, 155 and so on.
I also fake being sick so as not to out for dinner with friends in order to control my food intake.
Breakfast consists of some red grapes, a pear and half a piece of rye bread with some hummus. Lunch is three tomatoes, one piece of rye bread with three slices of pastrami and some mustard. For dinner I will eat half a boiled cabbage with some salad which consists of romaine lettuce, tomato and cucumbers and a very small piece of chicken or pork. Every so often I will break down and eat some chocolate, pizza, etc...but then I obsess all day about the calories that were in those foods and it makes me nuts to the point of being seriously angry which leads to arguments and fights at home. I hate how I look shirtless, I have extremely low self esteem and zero confidence...I am assuming this probably ties in somewhere. Either way, I am a mess.
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tourproven
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 January 2010 03:34 am |
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| It definately sounds a bit obsessive to me, however I have to admire your determination. If I were you, I'd start working out with weights. By burning calories there, you will be able to eat more of the foods you like, plus you might get the physique that you want. Its not really the weight that we care about, its really just body fat percentage. Being 173 at 6'1" is a very good weight. I'm sure nobody is scrutinizing you 1/100th as bad as you are, if at all. Look at the photos of yourself at 250 and start feeling good about yourself. Its not worth fretting over or being that strict on yourself.
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confusedgirl
New Member
| Joined: | 27 December 2009 |
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| Posts: | 11 |
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Posted: 5 January 2010 03:01 pm |
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Hi Socks, what you are going through sounds to me, only because I am anorexic, is that you are discussing behaviors, thoughts, etc. which could describe me. Avoiding having to go out to eat, controlling food intake, and most of all the obsessive thinking all the time about it. Having a loved one point out your behaviors is also a big deal. We usually don't see how bad we are getting and even go into denial. Are you weighing yourself all the time or have you become dishonest with loved ones to hide behaviors? It's a great thing that you are seeing that it could become a serious problem. The fact that you mentioned how you have a goal weight but are concerned once you get there it will not be good enough shows you have great insight. My weight was never low enough even though I set goal weight boundaries for myself. Keep us posted. Again, the fact that you are recognizing this may be a problem is a great start. Hopefully you can find some support so it does not get any worse for you. Trust me, it gets bad. I just went back to old behaviors after six weeks at the hospital. I just told my boyfriend and he is about to leave me. Good luck to you my friend.
peace
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socks
New Member
| Joined: | 4 January 2010 |
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| Posts: | 2 |
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Posted: 8 January 2010 01:36 pm |
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| 6-1' - 173 is fine to a normal thinking person...but I cant get out of my head that I was 170 about a month ago. I look at my stomach and can "see" the three pounds....it might not even be three pounds....It might be no pounds. I weight myself all hours of the day and everytime it fluctuates upwards I go into a tailspin.
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LoseWeightFastNYC
New Member
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Posted: 19 January 2010 05:13 pm |
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Eating disorders, though generally treated by psychiatrists, are not in fact psychological disorders at all. None of my clients have any of these symptoms, but it is pretty well documented in the literature. My guess is that you're generally not eating enough fat, and in particular saturated fat. If you dramatically increase your grass fed beef intake, and at the same time drastically decrease your intake of carbohydrate, including vegetables, you will see these thoughts basically completely go away, and you'll feel healthier and generally happier.
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Past Member
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Posted: 27 January 2010 03:21 am |
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You can ask your doctor what program that is best for you, sometimes we need to take time to listen and seek for professional help than to follow what others will advice to us. Good luck.
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