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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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| Posts: | 227 |
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Posted: 4 January 2010 07:49 pm |
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Hi A and BJ- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
omg that was a stupid thing your dad did, he should of taken her with him or something, and your grandma well its a tricky situation, maybe theres someway you can help your parents? I dont know. My mum has been sounding upset these days on the phone, and she sent me a text message saying that she prays for my hapiness, its that sweet? I just felt like dying when I read that.
my new years resolutions (and im reading this from my diary that I wrote yesterday,)
1. Body. Exercise and eat healthy- I want to be happy about my body and feel like showing it off. Not hiding underneath layers of black clothes. I want a flat belly, toned bum and toned thighs (dont we all!)
2. Get a job (I need my own money)
3.Finish getting my driving license (ive only got part 1 of it!)
4. Get my level B in catalan (got level A now need the second bit!)
5. Study my administration books (keep putting it off and i hope to go to the exam sometime this year. I need level B in catalan before I can take the exam, so sometime in june probably)
6. Look after myself (this probably is just the same as number 1)
Well I feel stupid, I binge in front of my bf and behind his back, Ill go down to the kitchen to get food and eat something in the kitchen and then grab more food and take it upstairs, pathetic. Please tell me girls, this self control stuff, how does it work?xdd
New years eve with my father in law´s family was a nightmare. His auntie just can shut her mouth and she was doing my head in. She was saying that shes on a diet and she ate one piece of chicken and stated saying oh im so full and then saying ive lost so much weight that now i dont have any breasts, then she goes and says to my boyfriend in front of everyone, go on feel my breasts and tell me what you think. Well i didnt know where to put my face because you could tell that i was #%@&! off. I dont want to go back there next year......
At the moment im reading the twilight -the third book, and I can just sit there for hours reading, im totally in to it, the only anoying thing is that they keep going on about stunning vampire women.........bla bla bla xddddd.
Well im going to prepare a lovely salad with salmon....(it wont hurt!)
Lets try and motivate eachother, I´m running out of ideas on how to control my binging.
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BJD74
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Posted: 5 January 2010 04:39 pm |
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Hey Girls! Happy New Year!
I have fallen off the wagon BIG TIME, I am up to 165.2 today, up at 166.4 yesterday so i am happy to be down a pd today but STILL! I have really unwound the last two days, its hurting me more than i ever imagined! You asked how to get motivation, well, honey, i dont know?!?! I am stuggling too! I was thinking about trying to see what it is in my forefront that keeps me moving forward? I honeslty couldnt think of anything at that moment because i have been slacking so much since the family left. I just crashed big time, I wasnt feeling well, and that allowed me to just dive into food to cure myself, only it didnt. I still have a headache from two/three days ago, my neck has been hurting and i am not sleeping a wink. I am eating more carbs and that is taking its toll on my belly in the middle of the nite so i am irratible on top of being cranky! lol. D is being a good sport about it, I know its hurting him too because i am sulky, cranky and whining....lol..i owe him big time.
i like your goals AM, i think you can achieve all of them, and I think you need to find a way to be happy where you are in the event that things dont turn around immediately. I am sad that you talk about how your bf is always talking about other gals bodies, and the saddest thing is your body may never be that shape and rather than you being ok with that you may struggle to find a way to get that shape, and could possibly hurt yourself. I think you need to find ways to love the shape you have, embrace the cute tush, the curves, the pale skin, wear some happy colors, let your curves flow, you just have too or you will be never be happy. You are not overweight in any way, just maybe not in the best shape you could be. I wouldnt try to lose, I would try to find a way to get in better shape and see what happens. One thing is you can only achieve one goal at a time, so find the one that is most valuable to you and go with it, then knock out the rest one at a time! :) I would go for independence first and work on the rest, because no matter the size you are, if you dont know what you like, or how much you are worth in a job, you wont have an identity and you need it to move forward and grow as a young beautiful woman. :) You can do it!!! One step at a time!
AS for me, I am doing my best to relax. I am giving myself a mani/pedicure and watching my Law and Order SVU's, trying not to think about my aching head. I am thinking I may have a sinus infection and that could be causing my pain that wont end. I am also watching the month closer with my YAZ pills and how i can be so high on the wt right now, this week. I am goin to see if its tied to the new pack each month, I have heard that some gain wt instead of losing it while taking this medication. I wonder what would happen to my body if I stopped taking all of it but the metformin??
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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| Posts: | 227 |
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Posted: 9 January 2010 12:45 am |
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| yeah I take those tablets too but a diferent brand, diane, they do make you gain 2 pounds a months, the ginecologist told me that its due to retainig water. I´ve been thinking about what you said, about never having the body that I want, its sad, and it does make me wonder. Probably the best thing to do is tone up, and that way I can embrace my wide hips, these days im a bit down, my bf says that its like im giving up on everthing. .......cheer me up bj!
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BJD74
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Posted: 9 January 2010 06:04 pm |
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honey, right now i need cheered up too because i am at 165 again today after getting back down to 163 yesterday. I am derailing. Its been this way ever since i saw my dr and she told me that i was ok. I totally stopped being so careful and look at me now, its been just over a month and i am almost 10pds up. Not good.
So today, I am cutting out pure sugar, goin for sweet n low if i need it. (maybe this will cut me back on coffee and cereal because these are things i have allowed back in)
I am also giving my folks the chocolate covered almonds that i had gotten as a treat for myself at costco. Said i wouldnt overeat them. I waited a few weeks to bring them into the house, and this week, since opening them, i have eaten half the bucket. I cant control my intake so i am getting them out of here.
I have graham crackers, granola bars, trisquits, ice cream that i will keep here for MJ because they are decent snacks for a kid burning energy, and the ice cream is light and its gonna be for her deserts. I dont really care for either flavor so much.
I only have cereal here now that will be harder for me to control, but I am going to try to just have servings sizes based on about 1500 calories. That is a severe intake cut for me, esp with the last month being up in the 2000-2500 calories a DAY! I just found myself two sample diets for 1400-1600 calories that i am going to stand by and see how i do. I am sure i will be starving for a spell, have to relearn what to eat, i have gotten so lazy. Its so easy to do!
if you want to look up that site i just found: http://www.dietbites.com its a diet based on colors of foods kinda sorta. i need to read more about it, but the foods that are available to me on the diet seem to be ok with the things i like. I dont want to get into something that makes me totally start new with all new diet foods etc. I need to be able to exist on the budget and items we normally have. Maybe make a few changes, but overall i should be able to do this with the things we have now! :) wish me luck!
:)
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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| Posts: | 227 |
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Posted: 10 January 2010 05:20 pm |
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CHEER up honey! Its normal that you gained weight after seeing your doctor, from personal experience, after being told by people that I look like ive lost weight well I started eating more and more and saying that it didnt matter. What we should do is just give ourselves a treat or something like go to the fridge and say ok im going to eat whatever I want now as a treat. The bad thing is that when we eat it we feel guilty, and I think that problem is in our heads.
Well Ive got the flu again, yesterday I was out in the cold and that brought on my cold, its not that bad but its the usual blocked nose, drowsy looking face, feeling really sleepy. Well im taking medicine, getting fluids and i think im going to make some soup to warm myself up, its absolutely freezing here! Kind of weather that makes you want to curl up in bed with a cup of tea and a good book!!! I bought tea bags because I really missed having my cups of teas, i put skimmed milk in it and brown sugar, im addicted to it xdddd I think its an english thing no? spanish people dont like it.
well these days i havent been talking to the mum because shes just getting on my nerves, the other day I walked downstairs in the morning ready to clean and i saw that the dishes had been washed and the brush and shovel was in the kitchen and the shovel full, so I thought, oh the dad must have cleaned already. so I ate brekkie and went upstairs. when the mum got back she started moaning and tutting and talking to my bf like he was a piece of #%@&!, saying that it wasnt fair that she had to clean the house and that it wasnt clean...........so then everybodys giving me dirty looks because I hadnt cleaned the house. Oh its just......stressfull.......
im dreaming of the summer, when i can sunbathe, go to the beach, not have to wear coats and scarves and freeze my butt off!
well im giving us both a challenge, lets look after ourselves these days, try to keep stress low and give ourselves a few treats! just if you have a healthy brekkie, healthy dinner and healthy tea then allow yourself a treat, afterall somedays you can be a bit too hard on yourself.
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BJD74
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Posted: 10 January 2010 08:34 pm |
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love you annemarie and thanks! mj is home, its been stressful today with my folks, they are totally buried under my grama and her sickness. its affecting all of us. i havent eaten well today but its not all lost, i am aware and trying to be in control.
will write more when i can, for now, feel better, i am goin to do my workout i think so that i can relax today! :)
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BJD74
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Posted: 14 January 2010 05:25 pm |
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its been a better few days for me, had some weak moments, ate a snickers bar, darn it, also had some cake and extra things i didnt need. i am coming back down though, so i am happy to keep trying! its a relief to work hard on watching what i eat and watch the scale drop. it really does work, so why cant i stay on the track all the time? why do i let myself crash? its boggling!
how are you AM?
we have been playing wii nightly, that is helping me to burn some more cal's i am sure, but probably not too many! lol...but i am up and jumping around, so i will take it! :) better than sitting watching tv right?
life is ok for the moment, dad is being extrememly clingy and needy, calling and begging my machine to pick up and where am i etcetc? the beauty of a machine in that i can not answer the calls! lol...bad huh? but he is needy and it brings me down, so its best to avoid for now. I will see them this weekend anyway.
My little strain now, is D is on a kick about my gramas house (its been spoken aloud many times that i should get her home) and how we could sell this lovely ranch and move into her place?!?! OMFG! I dont know if i can imagine how it would work, its a ranch house, with no open spaces, just 5 boring bedrooms, 3 boring bathrooms (2 with showers only, 1 with full bath)...nothing redeeming about it at all except that my grandparents lived there ALL OF MY LIFE. I dont think I want it, but then i think about MJ, there is an elementary school across the st that i attended, but its rio rancho. I grew up there, I dont know if I want to live there? Too many memories and not any i want to remember. I dont know why he is pushing it, except htat it would get him out from under this mortgage. But man alive, we have spent too much money planting beautiful things here, trees, plants, etc painted the place, it has 2.75 acroes of land, its not worth what we want for it, in this market, in this town etc....i just dont think i want it. Not at this point in my life. I like being in the country, The only good thing, would be that D is only 20 miles from work, instead of 38.
Not enough to turn my life upside down for. Anyway, that kept me up half the nite, thinkin how i could make it work, but i just cant find good enough reasons.
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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Posted: 15 January 2010 04:42 pm |
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well if you say 5 boring bedrooms maybe you could decorate the house a bit? In my opinion it would be better to sel it if you dont want it because the money would come in handy, but maybe your parents dont want to sell it because of memories and stuff?
Well you should give me a prize for being the number 1 binge eater, we should change the name of this page to anne marie top binger of the year! lol. you know what happened? the other night I had pizza for tea, and after that when I got hungry I ate a whole packet of chocolate bisquits to myself and a whole bag of cheesy crisps and then some doughnuts. and this was all before going to bed. I woke up the next day running to the toilet and was sick about 7 times, I thought to myself that something was up but then I remembered all of the food that id binged and it was probably down to that. My boyfriend commented on it and told me that im eating an awfull lot at night.
Ive got herpes on my nose and under my nose, its not too bad now, ive putting cream on it but its still horrible going out in public like that because i think that everybody is looking at my nose!!
Well today I went to sort out paperwork to go to catalan lessons, they start in february and there on mondays wednesdays and fridays at 5-7. I think its a good thing because I might make a new friend or something.
The worst noise for me these days is the noise of my stomach rumbling, it does it when its not even meal times, and if i dont eat something it just keeps on rumbling... does this happen to you? i hate the bulging belly look, that pot belly that looks like im 3 months pregnant. uffff.....
 cant stop thinking about food!!! argh!!!!
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BJD74
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Posted: 15 January 2010 11:05 pm |
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well i say boring rooms because the house has no physical character, its just a big rectangle with a long hallway, rectangular and square rooms with tiny bathrooms. Whereas, our house now is laid out kinda like a W...only stretch it out on the sides...the bedrooms are on one side of the outside W arm then the center is the kitchen, hot tub room, living room, den, music area and dining area. Its one open room and I love it. We have lovely dark green carpets, outrageous views of the mountains and almost 3 acres of land!
i keep thinkin in my head, how we could keep it, and possibly rent it out? if we can cover out mortgage here with that houses rent, then the rentee pays the utilities and we make money, short of anything that has to get fixed, which at the moment is nothing really. It needs new carpets, but a rental its not necessary, the risk of it getting damaged is too great! I would rather do that i think. D is talking about the convenience for me, for MJ to school etc...but she is only gonna be in that school for 5 years, then its off to the middle and high school. It would be neat if she went ot my old schools, but then they are old and out here, odds of getting her into the newer schools is great. I am so used to living out of the city, that i dont want to move back to it! esp one that is too big for its breeches! lol...too many people in too small a place! lol.....i feel stifled up there. It may be memories, but mostly i think purely its that there are FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE there!
anyway, grama martin isnt dying tomorrow, in fact she is responding to the kidney dialysis, she has a salon at the facility she is at, so they can roll her hair for her, so i guess its not as bad as they all made it sound earlier this week. We may be goin up to her house this weekend, for D to walk thru but also to fix some leaking pipes in the kitchen, and anything to get paid!!!! LOL
i have done well this week. i was at 166 and now i am down to 161 today. I have had a super week! I am being very good! I am having terrible cravings for things i dont have here at home....and i went shopping today and got nothing but good htings for me to eat. Veggs, Fruit, 2% milk, yogurt, cheese and some sugar free pudding. I didnt get any markdown cakes or cookies! i am very proud of myself! :)
i am excited youre getting into some classes! excellent annemarie! It will do you such good, you meet people, you get to socialize some, and you learn, which is awesome! its bettering you for your future! :)
i am envious of your pizza, i wish i could have some good cheesey pizza but there isnt any around so alas, i will wait. lol....its better anyway!
you arent prego are you?? you are certainly eating unusual things and in larger amounts, ie eating the whole package etc...lol....sounds like me! lol....and no worries young lady you will bounce back and get out of the craving phase and get tired of it eventually. When you start classes your life will change and you will be distracted in a good way, and maybe that will help you. I know how stressed you must be living with the fam damily......lol......and it doesnt help that you have a critical man who notices your tush and isnt exactly loving....he really should embrace your tush, esp if its curvy! i thought that is what men liked?!?! they really are confusing!
oh, meant to tell you that i have the herpes too, on my mouth only...not now, but i got it when i was much younger, and it stays with you. i havent had one in a long time, i guess i must be healthy! i get them mostly when i am sick, or my lips chap up, or things like that. i get them around the mouth, chin etc...so i totally understand your misery but at least its getting better! for future reference to boost your stamina to keep them from coming back, take Lysine. Its at most pharmacys, stores etc. Its a vitamin that somehow helps with cold sores....and i havent done it in a while, but i used to take them regularly back when i was always working too hard and getting sick. its gonna pass!
have a nice nite friend! or should i say morning??? 
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AnneMarie
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Posted: 19 January 2010 03:34 pm |
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| well since that morning I havent been sick but I do get a sicky feeling now and again, when I get up in the morning and in the afternoon, ive been trying to choose heathier options, today I had 2 yogourts for brekkie. nnot much is happenening really except for me not having any energy......
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BJD74
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Posted: 19 January 2010 06:43 pm |
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honey, you have to eat some healthy proteins, and good energy items, like nuts! the yogurt is a great choice! add a handful of almonds, cashews, walnuts, peanuts even and it boosts the good for your body that is needed! you also need some proteins, chicken, steak, pork, get that burger at mdc's and dont eat the bread! you have to get that into your body or you wont feel strong!
my other strong point to make to you is that i truelly think you are depressed. :( its not easy for me to say that because i know i go thru the ups and downs, but i think you are depressed. If you are able to see a dr, talk about it. You arent happy right now, and that will suck all your energy away leaving you feeling like a semi truck hit you. You will get better when you get into something that will bring you out of the rut you are in, such as school in Feb. This can be your time. You need to stop trying to lose, and start trying to love who you are now, and what you have potential to be!!! You have loads of potential to be a wonderful woman!!!!! You are taking on too many things right now mentally, physically etc and are being challenged greatly because you are taking on too much. Focus on that class in feb, focus on eating that yogurt, getting some nuts and even some lunch meat from a deli, eat it with some cheese, and enjoy it, those are good for you....watch the sweets, the breads, the danishy things etc......
you will get better my friend :) i am here!!! today i am at 160.4, up a tad but i blew the last day and a half away with brownies and some mixed drinks with D while we played Wii on Saturday and Sunday nite. Doing good today! Talkin with my mom about my grama, she is crying as i type. She sais the end is coming, my grama went back to the heart hospital again today from the rehab center. Everyones saying that she wont be here longer than a week. We shall see. Its never easy.
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CG Brady
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Posted: 22 January 2010 07:09 pm |
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Binge eating is mostly a myth. In fact it is normal. If you binge on icecream and cake you get fat. If you binge on lettuce you will lose weight.
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AnneMarie
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Posted: 24 January 2010 04:37 pm |
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thanks brady thats got some logic to it, but even if I binge on 8 bowls of lettuce I will still feel empty and unsatisfied.
Bj, i need you so much, i feel so alone. ive been crying al day, started of by his mother wanting me to put wet clothes away and I told her that im not putting anything wet into the closet because it will get damp and mouldy and I havent got money to buy myself new clothes. my boyfriend says im just being stupid. well row after row, i made myself throw up from the emotional stress, and now i feel weak. i told him that his mum is a monster, ----well that didnt go down too well-my eyes are so swollen. last night he was all lovely dovey telling me that he loves me so so so much. well thats such #%@&!, the next time he tells me he loves me im going to say yeah right, he says i act like a 15year old crying all day, with tantrums and says that i always have do give a big show.
ive been thinking of what you said about depression, i am depressed, well and truly stuck in a rut depressed. oh bj, what am i supposed to do. i love him but i hate it when he takes her side, he is sick of me moaning about her, but everyday she does something to annoy me. today shes playing the matyr, oh im so sick blablalba feel sorry for me. im not feeling for her, i can see what shes doing, atention seeking. i think shes jelous, shes old, full of wrinkles. her husband doesnt pay her any attention, and she wants to cause problems. if theres something wrong she goes and tells my boyfriend so that he will tell me off. oh i just feel sooo........i just want to be stong enought to not cry...but the tears keep coming out and i cant stop them.
im sorry for putting a cloud on your day =(
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CG Brady
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Posted: 24 January 2010 05:41 pm |
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AnneMarie wrote: thanks brady thats got some logic to it, but even if I binge on 8 bowls of lettuce I will still feel empty and unsatisfied.
Bj, i need you so much, i feel so alone. ive been crying al day, started of by his mother wanting me to put wet clothes away and I told her that im not putting anything wet into the closet because it will get damp and mouldy and I havent got money to buy myself new clothes. my boyfriend says im just being stupid. well row after row, i made myself throw up from the emotional stress, and now i feel weak. i told him that his mum is a monster, ----well that didnt go down too well-my eyes are so swollen. last night he was all lovely dovey telling me that he loves me so so so much. well thats such #%@&!, the next time he tells me he loves me im going to say yeah right, he says i act like a 15year old crying all day, with tantrums and says that i always have do give a big show.
ive been thinking of what you said about depression, i am depressed, well and truly stuck in a rut depressed. oh bj, what am i supposed to do. i love him but i hate it when he takes her side, he is sick of me moaning about her, but everyday she does something to annoy me. today shes playing the matyr, oh im so sick blablalba feel sorry for me. im not feeling for her, i can see what shes doing, atention seeking. i think shes jelous, shes old, full of wrinkles. her husband doesnt pay her any attention, and she wants to cause problems. if theres something wrong she goes and tells my boyfriend so that he will tell me off. oh i just feel sooo........i just want to be stong enought to not cry...but the tears keep coming out and i cant stop them.
im sorry for putting a cloud on your day =(
Tiger Woods has a "sex addiction". That's his excuse but the truth is he's scumbag who is good a hitting a golf ball.
IMO binge eaters are gluttons. I would like to hear you explain why I'm wrong about that.
If you are truly depressed get treatment for depression and stop using "depression" a an excuse. A great treatment for depression is exercise.
The fact is true clinical depression is very rare and there are effective treatments for it. Food is not one of them. I think you need to grow up and stop whining.
Binge on healthy low calorie foods if you must binge. The reason you don't is because it is much easier for you to unwrap a package of Twinkies that it is to peal an orange or slice a melon. You pick fatten easy to chew foods and you eat them. A mature adult with a "binge eating disorder" would use it to her advantage and eat a lot of low calorie nutrient dense foods.
I don't know why your boyfriend puts up with you. I don;t think you are stupid. I think you are intellectually lazy and dishonest. I know that is strong medicine but you need to hear it.
Stop eating junk food and start moving. Find you pleasures and satisfaction by working for them. Stop being such a hedonist.
I'm serious, explain why you are not a glutton and show you boy friend and his mother some respect.
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BJD74
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Posted: 25 January 2010 03:01 pm |
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AM, I am sorry you are down. You are going to start with School in Feb, so get focused on that. I know how hard it is to eat healthier without a budget so you have to find ways around it somehow. The situation with your bf has to give somehow. I can see resentment on all sides because the situation isnt ideal. How many couples can live nice and play house well with inlaws? and you two arent married, thankfully because you would be stuck in a way. You are free to leave them whenever you wish, you would have to go back to mom for a while, but that may be what you need.
i can see bradys perspective and you know people dont see our situations as we do, they dont know your age, your full situation, let their less than kind words affect you enough to make you think about finally making a change. You have to change something, either stand up and speak up or make a move and change your life. We have all changed our lives many times, its human nature, and if you arent happy get away. I know enough about myself that if i am not happy in a relationship i get the heck out, but i admit when i was 23 it wasnt as easy a thing for me to do, my confidence was low, i was trying to find my place in society, stumbled with jobs and school just like you. What you need is your family and support. Go back to mom, leave him and let him see how he may need you. If you walk away and nothing happens, then you are better off.
Change is scary, but sometimes change is good. Abuse in any way is nasty and unacceptable and whether its from you to them, or them to you its all bad. Get yourself into a healthier happier environment please. For your sake and sanity.
big hug AM and i am here to listen....and i would pick you up in my car and take you to your moms if i were able....but NM is a bit far from Spain, is it? :) lol....
you will survive this setback. you are depressed and you are aware of it, so lets start to take positive steps to bring you up and out of that big depressed bowl of junk. Only you can change what and where you are sweetie. Look at my progress this last month, i went back up to almost 167 and now today i am at 156. I have lost it again and I am refocused on good eating, good feelings and not letting my outside situation affect my choices in my head. I am in control again.
You can do it! i believe in you. I dont think you are a bad person and i dont think you are on the brink of needing medications to improve your mindset. you need to improve the situation. You do need to see that you are living under her roof, and if you are doing the things that you can to help, to play a part in the house and still get #%@&! from her then speak up and try to uncover the root of the problem. You wont have success with him as long as mom and you arent getting along. I know that one for sure, moms always come first. If you cant find a solution, the solution is to get out. You will survive either way, but you may be happier out of there.
Find a way out of the clouds and back to the sunshine kiddo!!!!! You can do it!!!
AM< I just cant let the comments slip, so i went to look up binge eating, and found a site. obviously we term our cave ins with food as bingeing, but i dont truly see myself as a binge eater, I am an emotional eater that tries to control that daily, and some days are power days and other days are not. Therefor when i use the term binged i am using it loosly and do not see myself as a sick person in need of doctors advice. I do worry a little about your tendencies but i know its more of a sitation that needs to be repaired. I think you have a basic knowledge of good foods to eat, you are learning more from HELPFUL people on this site who care, but you are challenged financially without the money to buy good food, and your emotional setbacks are taking control of you. you arent getting along with any of the important people in your life and like me, you go for the easy choices, but you have to stop yourself or you will get deeper and deeper in. Please go see this little article, maybe you can see some differences like i did and you will see some things you can do to get better :)
i love ya! http://www.helpguide.org/mental/binge_eating_disorder.htm
Last edited on 25 January 2010 03:21 pm by BJD74
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AnneMarie
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Posted: 25 January 2010 04:18 pm |
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Yesterday night we had a big row, i screamed, cried, called his mother a monster, and there were more tears, we were about to brake up, because he had enough of feeling like he´s in the middle and with my constant crying. In the end I realised that I do want to be with him, his mother causes the problems and I should just learn to ignore her. I need to focus my atention on exercise because in the link it talks about exercise being the cure for depression and eating disorders, so tomorrow im definetely getting up earlier to do exercise. (my auntie gave me a kylie minogue workout so I can try that out, it will probably be funny!)
This morning I went out for lunch with my auntie, and it was just what I needed because I´m feeling much better now. I had a salad and a jacket potato (even though I could have chosen chips, so thats a good thing) If I concentrate on healthy meals, doing exercise, binging on something healthy then my weight should go down, my thighs feel bigger due to my latest binge. But I have to control portion size, I think my evening meals are too big. Congrats on losing all the weight. what have you been doing? how did you lose it?
Today my bf has been giving me lots of hugs and kisses and telling me he loves me....
yeah those coments that that person made have hurt my feelings, but im not going to go and eat and cry. Nobody apart from you can give an actual genuine opinion becuase they dont know me. Im not some big fat loser, actaully im just like beyonce but white and with a pot belly!!! but i am determined to change, the link was scary when it says do you think all the time about food? (oh my god!!!! how am I ever going to change that?))))
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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Posted: 26 January 2010 10:28 pm |
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| today I woke up with a banging headache so I went back to sleep, when I woke up my head was still banging so I convinced my bf to go and see his friends. I eventually got out of bed and I did that exercise video I was telling you about, I felt a bit stupid doing the dance moves but I worked up a sweat which was a good thing! The girl on the video has an amazing butt! so that motivated me a bit hahaha which is good because id normaly be puking at the tv at the sight of her hahaha. well today I think i did well, since I slept for most of the day I only had chocolate milk during the day and for tea I had a veggie pizza. actually Its 0:27 here and I´m not hungry. If I get hungry I´ll have an infussion and a yogourt. I hope I can get some exercise in tomorrow. Today I made an effort putting on a skirt and boots, I feel nice, which is good, but my skin is still quite blotched. do u know anything that can help blotchy skin bj?
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BJD74
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Posted: 27 January 2010 03:34 pm |
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hey am, i am happy to hear you are making the effort. a headache is a bear and you will survive it. good for you for the skirt and boots! how sexy! i love it! if i was goin out, its usually jeans and a sweater with my uggs...how sexy yeah? lol...not. but i am in a smaller jean, so hey it works! :)
umm...skin, i use a alpha hydroxy lotion to take away the dead skin, clear blemishes and even it out, it keeps it nice and tingly too. you can get it at any store, its in the skin cream care things, i grew up using Sea Breeze too, which isnt available all over anymore, but the next thing to it is anything Neutrogena, or Oil of Olay, Aveeno is good too. anything with an oatmeal will dry out oily skin, so even just an oatmeal soap bar will help. the coldsores just have to go away on their own, but the alpha hydroxy is good for it, takes away the dead skin, like i said. Leaves you feeling fresh. any sort of astringent is good, and it will say that on the bottle.
my eating has been good lately, i havent been working out as rigourously the last few days since i am eating less, but i plan to get back on the routines today. keep working the videos, that is great! who cares if you feel silly, before you know it you will know the moves and be faster then them if you keep it up! i enjoy all my videos and know them enough that i am always a little faster, which gives me more confidence that i can do this workout. it helps me! :)
we got another puppy this weekend. can you believe now we have 5 dogs? wow! its cute! he is about 5-6wks old, teeny little thing with a straight tail and a scrunched up face like a chow or shar pei. he is all tan, and just a little darkness around his mouth and nose. he may be an ancestor to our two girls because he is so similar and we are in a small community, which is kinda neat. wish me luck! i must be crazy to take on yet another puppy!?! Little D, the last one we brought home for fathers day is growing up fast! he kinda stepped into a teenager role now since we brought the baby home on monday. I think we are having all the dogs since D cant have any more kids. It works for me, MJ is enough for me! :)
We, she and I had a row or two yesterday, for some reason my patience was nill and i was very edgy and short with her, frustrated about her doing what she pleases esp when i need her to listen. Its gonna get better, as she grows up. September will be here so fast! Already the sister in law is talking about ocming back in Easter, for a week and then D's folks are coming in the early summer and THEN the sister wants to send her youngest son to us for a few weeks!?!? I said i dont want that! I need to have this summer to spend wiht MJ, and D will be working, and I am going to be selfish. So, instead of a few weeks, i think we are in agreement for like one week!!! ONE! Last summer was too long, we had the house full from june to end of august! argh...i need my space guys!!!
enough complaining! lol....not really complaining, its nice, but i get to be babysitter for him and MJ doesnt get the attention they are so different in age, he is in that pre teen phase, no time for a kid like a 4yr old ya know? it will work out. i will hold my wishes firm. my grama is still kicking in the hospital i guess. we havent heard since monday. dad called and whined to me about all these problems he was having wiht his tv, at home etc and how can i help him? i said i couldnt! i dont know what happened, i dont keep track of your videos, i am not there anymore....and he shut down and said goodbye. I dont know what he wants. I cant live there. I cant always have an answer? when did he stop trying to figure things out on his own???? what happened to my dad???? its scary and sad and frustrating all at once. he said something too about how his mouth has too much saliva and its slurring his words...which makes me think first a stroke, which with the situation as strained as it is, wouldnt shock me, but omg if that is the case? why isnt he getting help? instead, he is just dealing wiht it. I wish i could help more, but i would go crazy and insane with frustration over his inability to think anymore!!! my brother ruined him all those years they worked together. i wont ever get my dad back.
i hope your head is better today and that you get all the things done you wanted and eat healthy too!!!! :)
talk soon!
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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Posted: 28 January 2010 08:23 pm |
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hi bj, ive been wearing uggs too, them keep my feet nice and warm! Actually I think that casual is sexy, today im wearing jeans, a white jersey and black uggs and I Feel fine! xd
my stomach has gone down a bit, these days ive been concentrating on what I eat. I´ve been making salads and havent been eating any chocolate or bad things like that. I got myself some nuts too as you mentioned once that they are good for me. the main thing i have to focus on is eating light at night. The other day we went out for a coffee with our friends and everybody got some sort of chocolate thing with their coffee and I just said just a coffee please, today we went out too and I just had an ice tea.
I´m really sorry about your dad, stress must be getting to him, he needs a holday or something, it would do him good. Today I spoke to my dad, I hadnt spoken to him in ages but when he said I miss you, i said it too, and I felt it. I havent seen him in years and years......sometimes I wish my parents were still together, but in the real world fairytales dont happen and I´ve just got to accept that.
well done with the eating, just stay on track, i really believe that you can do it.
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BJD74
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Posted: 29 January 2010 05:40 pm |
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| AM, you sound great! i am happy to hear you are making conscious efforts each minute to do the right thing for your body. I am super proud of you for not eating the chocolate when everyone else is. GOOD GIRL! Its hard to do and eventually it does get easier. I fell off yesterday, due to PMS feelings, the headache, the body ache, the typical feelings i get with my P. I actually am kinda having one, which is great, but wierd since Yaz really takes them away. It explains it all though because all the sudden the cravings for crunchy saltys appeared yesterday morning and i had oatmeal, cheese, crackers then more oatmeal! lol....i usually dont eat that much oatmeal! lol..the choices i made to eat were good, but it just didnt satisfy that itch and my cals were high. Today is better, but i am tense, having to pay bills, balance check books etc...never a fun thing and usually afterwards i am wound for a spell. Perfect time to workout really. In fact, i think i may just do that since the scale is up a tad from yesterday. I hope your weekend is successful in your choices, activities, conversations etc...... :) Last edited on 31 January 2010 08:58 pm by
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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| Posts: | 227 |
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Posted: 31 January 2010 03:15 pm |
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well the weekend has been good, we went to burger king and I just had a chicken burger without chips or anything. I´ve got my period too, got a horrible banging head ache and my arms hurt---dont know why though.
On friday we went to the cinema to watch the fourth fase (or something like that cos I watched it in spanish and in spanish its called la cuarta fase) well its soooo scary!!! If you like sacry films watch it and if you dont keep well away!!!!!
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BJD74
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 February 2010 01:36 pm |
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hey am, yet another successfull outing for you! great! i knew you had it in your bones and soul to get over this setback you faced lately. :) You can do it!
I am doing well too! I am eating less, staying busy and its working! I am at 153.6 today. I cant believe a new low for me!!!! What a neat feeling!!!
We will see how the week goes and hope for more. THat takes me to under my goal wt for the new year challenge. .i had it set for 155. Lord let me keep going! :)
D is still sleeping, the pupies woke me at 7am. So i got up, fed them, weighed in and now i am doing my computer stuff. I would like to go to Ross today to see if I can find a new bed set, with the sheets, pillowcases, skirt, and cover. Ross is the best store for a budget, but you can get the name brands. I havent ever heard of that movie! sounds good! We are into scary, sci fi thrillers, vampires and the like, but we havent seen Twilight yet. I just ordered the Star Trek and Harry Potter 6 movie from amazon, cant wait to get them!!! :)
have a great day!
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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Posted: 1 February 2010 02:29 pm |
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hey bj! uff head is still banging, well nast night I had a whole box of chocolate fingers and this morning I woke up early with terrible stomach pains so I went to the toilet.... so my body was refusing to have all that food in there! its bloated today, so im going to eat light, for brekkie ive just had a cup of tea and a yogourt. best not to upset my belly today! I havent weighed myself in ages, ive just been playing by looking in the mirror. do u think i should weigh myself?
have a nice day you too =)
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BJD74
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 March 2010 09:22 pm |
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hey am..how are you? its been a while, i confess life just got out of control and my grama passed on feb.4th which has eased but made things nuts even more so because her plans for her things werent laid out in advance....even though we tried to get it done for years. I have spent the last two weeks goin thru things, bringing home what i can in my car, giving away furnature, giving away jewelry, its sad but what can we do? we cant keep it all, but we are trying! we are breaking her house down into my home and my parents, and we will end up selling her home, it will not stay in the family unless someone can buy out the other siblings....its sad but not planning got us here.
So, i am eating but i am trying to maintain at least. I was down to 153 again, then balanced around 155, then today up to 158 since i had dominos breadsticks on saturday, and have been eating waay too much easter candy! i know. Things i can control, but with the stress, with my hormones and the pills, somedays i just dont want to fight my cravings and now i pay the price.
I havent been out of control, short of not being able to resist candy this last week, but its coming in waves now, i dont need it daily. I am starting to see a pattern in my hormone cycle in that the 1st week of new bcp's and the last week leaves me with headaches i can barely handle, and uncontrollable cravings for things that the other two weeks of the month could care less about. So basically i get two good weeks then 2 bad weeks, if i can just get them up from bad to managable?
I hope that things are ok with you, sorry for the absense, i hadnt realized i was gone since before grama passed.... :(
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AnneMarie
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| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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| Posts: | 227 |
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Posted: 16 March 2010 04:50 pm |
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| hi bj! sorry to hear about your nana. i havent been on the site either. i havent been doing too good. somedays yes others no, still binging at night. i have loads of belly fat, like always i tell myself tomorrow you must do exercise, and never do. its cos my bf is always in the bedroom and his mum is always in the living room, --- if only they went out i could do an exercise vid or something! lately I ve been getting head aches everysingle day, my mum thinks its dehydration, i must drink more water, i just keep forgetting! what exercise are you doing at the moment? summer is only months away and I want to feel confident in my bikini!xddd
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65318
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| Joined: | 11 February 2010 |
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| Posts: | 27 |
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Posted: 19 March 2010 05:14 pm |
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Staying motivated can be tough - especially on down days. That is why it is so important to keep your goal / vision in front of you at all times. There are too many negative triggers in the world; if you have an empowering photo or some other vision to help you stay focused on the prize (your goal weight or shape) it can be easier to stay true to your program.
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guilelessly_harmonious
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| Joined: | 24 May 2010 |
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| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 25 May 2010 01:28 am |
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| You're angry. I am too; don't feel alone. I hate my compulsive eating so much that I fear my body and my life has become a sad carousel of regret and insecurity. You must feel like I do... because I make plans and schedules and plots and goals... and what does it do? I can't stand the humiliation of making promises to myself and breaking them hours later. I think we could really understand eachother, lets talk. guileleslly_harmonious @ live.com
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AnneMarie
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 26 November 2009 |
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| Posts: | 227 |
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Posted: 25 May 2010 07:11 pm |
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hi, my pc wont let go onto msn, looks like its not working, we can talk through this page if u want to,
I came across this article,
http://www.everydayhealth.com/eating-disorders/what-is-binge-eating-disorder.aspx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthDietandNutrition_20100525
when it said people with binge eating disorder think about food all the time, thats me.
I get these cravings at night after my evening meal despite eating a healthy balanced evening meal, and I crave... icecream and chocolate, or anything sweet!!
obviously this problem is not good for weight loss, im trying to fill myself up more on water, herbal teas, yogourts... but in the back of my mind I still crave other things. and its contant, its everynight.
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canadacalories
New Member
| Joined: | 16 August 2010 |
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| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: 18 August 2010 06:33 am |
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| Binge bistro is a arrangement of confused bistro which consists of episodes of uncontrollable eating. It is sometimes as a evidence of affair bistro disorder. During such binges, a actuality rapidly consumes an boundless bulk of food. Most bodies who accept bistro binges try to adumbrate this behaviour from others, and generally feel abashed about actuality ample or depressed about their overeating. Bistro binges can be followed by alleged compensatory behaviour, acts by which the actuality tries to atone for the furnishings of overeating. Examples of such acts are purging, fasting, and abundant exercising.
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Past Member
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Posted: 30 August 2010 11:38 am |
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Binge eating can be reduced slowly where first the diet should be changed and not the quantity.
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