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thinkaity
New Member
| Joined: | 2 January 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 6 |
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Posted: 3 January 2009 06:47 am |
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i hate how no matter what your always hungry
but what can you do? you cant eat and let all those un-needed calories make you any fatter.
 need someone to talk to, someone who understands.
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 3 January 2009 04:23 pm |
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I completely understand. It sucks. When I follow my 3,200 cal mp (to gain) I'm still hungry by bedtime. If I don't follow it and eat less, I'm still hungry.
I know that chronically restricting calories is the cause of it, but it still scares me to be so hungry all the time. I couldn't believe it when I saw your post. I was JUST complaining about the same thing to my husband.
He is generally supportive and he does understand ed's, and he said he feels sorry for anyone who has this, as he can't imagine always being hungry and scared. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, but it is good to hear that someone understands.
BTW, I also think of them as "un-needed" calories, but of course, our bodies do need them. That's where the problem is for everyone I know with an ed. The insanity of knowing what we need and not being able to allow ourselves to do it. Sorry if I'm rambling. I just totally "get" what you are saying. Hope you are having a better day today. 
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thinkaity
New Member
| Joined: | 2 January 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 6 |
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Posted: 4 January 2009 01:29 am |
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thank you. today was better, i hope its better for us both. 
im so gald someone else gets it.
its so hard to just eat when you feel like it. i want to but its just hard. err stupid ed.
how long have you been trying to get better?
maybe it goes away with time, the constant hungriness i mean.
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 4 January 2009 07:10 pm |
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Yeah, it does go away with time. I had almost twenty ed free years before my relapse that started two years ago. I had my first round of tx in my teens, but my hunger signals leveled out a few months after I was weight restored.
Here is the sort of upsetting part. I've been told by lots of professionals and drs in the ed field that our bodies will keep feeling hungry until we are at the weight our bodies were meant to be. NOT where we want them to be. I think it's true. When my weight was about 10lbs higher than it is now, I am not hungry all the time.
When I'm not over-exercising, I'm not hungry all the time. I know this isn't probably what you want to hear (my neither ) but in the end, I think our bodies probably know what is best for us.  lol
I've been trying to get better for about six months now. My weight is in the healthy range again, but I'm having a really hard time with over-exercising. So, even though I'm technically in the healthy range, people say I need to gain more to compensate for muscle I developed from exercise. I wouldn't really mind gaining the extra ten, but am soooo scared that I will keep gaining. I know it's all ed thinking, but it's so hard to stop.
What is your ed background? Hope you don't mind me asking.
Have a great day!
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 11 January 2009 06:55 pm |
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Oh god! I know how you feel. At the moment i'm trying to keep to 800 calories or less a day with some exercise. Even when i've just eaten I still feel hungry. It so annoying. I'm trying to eat 5/6 times a day because when i've tried to fast i just end up eating more calories than i would have done if i had eaten something small in the first place ! Ah, FRUSTRATION!!
xx
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 12 January 2009 08:47 pm |
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Believe me, I do understand your frustration, but 800 a day is really low. Low enough to put your body into starvation mode, which unfortunately will leave you always hungry.
Well, maybe that's a good thing, since our bodies are feeling so hungry to ensure survival. I don't know about you, but I tend to feel guilty or nervous when I am so hungry. Knowing that the answer is to increase calories doesn't mean that it's easy. Do you think that you could raise them to 1,200?
When I was in IP treatment it took me 3,200 cals a day to gain 2lbs a week! When you increase your calories, initially your metabolism will really crank up and you will be surprised that you will lose while eating more!  (Do you need to lose weight? You didn't mention if it was a need or a want. For me, there is a huge difference.)
Anyway, sorry that you are also feeling this....it's no fun. Hang in there.
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 13 January 2009 02:52 pm |
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Don't worry I'm not doing good at the moment. 800 keeps turning into 1000 or more! Except for today is going well so far. I'm thinking about increasing my calories slightly to stop binging and because I'm starting to do more exercise so I can afford a few more and just burn them off.
As to if I need loose weight, I'm 5ft5 and 105lbs...I think I need to loose weight. I hate my body. I can see lots of imperfections. In the summer I was down to 94lbs but put it back on. I liked it so my aim at the moment is to get back to that.
Thank you for replying
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 13 January 2009 11:45 pm |
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We have very similar stats! I was about 95lbs when I went into tx this summer. I'm also 5'5". I was on a gaining plan of 1-3 lbs a week, but it was blind weights so I don't know what I was at when I came home.
I know that when I saw pictures of how I looked this summer, I was shocked. 95 is too low for 5'5". I thought then I looked, "o.k." but really I didn't.
I'm not trying to be bossy or to tell you what to do....just please be careful. 105 is really skinny.
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 14 January 2009 07:53 am |
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Woah, I thought you wouldn't go in until you were like 80lbs or something. Thank you for talking, it helps a lot. And I hope your plans go well. x
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 14 January 2009 03:03 pm |
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Yeah, I always thought you had to be at a super low weight too. But really weight has very little to do with the severity of ed's. I was shocked to learn that more ed related deaths happen when people are at "healthy" weights. The damage that we do to our bodies just adds up.
This past summer, at 95-100lbs I developed ostiopenia, heart irregularities, low heart rate etc. It was pretty scary. You seem like a nice person....I want you to be safe.
Take Care
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 14 January 2009 05:12 pm |
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Thank you you too. Sometimes its just nice to have someone to talk to. Ever since my mum found out I started cutting around 2 months ago, its a little awkward. Plus, I never tell anyone anything anyways...?! So thank you
Ps. I just read this back and realised how messed up i am....?! bad times
Last edited on 14 January 2009 05:17 pm by xxgeorgexx
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 15 January 2009 07:58 pm |
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Hi xxgeorgexx, I just wrote a long reply to you and it disappeared!  weird.
I'll try to remember what I said and try it again.
I don't think that you are "messed up". You are just struggling with some things.
I wasn't trying to scare you by telling you about the medical stuff. Just wanted you to know that medical problems can happen at any weight.
You mentioned "cutting" and I wasn't sure if you meant cutting calories or self injury. Either way, I still don't think you're "messed up" and I'm here if you need to talk. I don't think that there is anything you can say that I haven't done or heard of.....so don't let that worry you. I don't judge.
I'm sorry about the problems with your mum. Sometimes parents just aren't able to give us the support and encouragement we need. When I originally had treatment for my ed, I was a teen and my mom just didn't get it and didn't want to understand.
Unfortunately, sometimes we need to look for support from outside of our families. Do you have someone else, maybe a friend or relative that can be a source of support for you? Please hang in there....you deserve to be healthy and happy!
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 16 January 2009 04:31 pm |
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Heya, I did the same and deleted it!
I appreciate you telling me of the medical side. Its good to know the facts.
I meant Self Injury. I'm not bad though and haven't done it for a week or two. One of my friends found out, talked to me about it, i said i wouldn't do it again and she never asked again. My teacher went through a faze of asking me if i was OK, i just answer yes and he assumed so.
I love my mum. Couldn't wish for a better one. Its more me because I don't tell her whats going on, I never have. But shes never understood teenagers with problems. She always says how can they, they have an easy life!
The main problem is I'm not one to tell people of my problems. I just keep it to myself and no one asks. I find it easier that way.
Thank you so much It means a lot to be able to talk to someone.
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 16 January 2009 10:03 pm |
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I'm glad it helps you to be able to talk here. I also have a really hard time talking about personal problems to people, face to face. That's why I belong to the internet communities. It's much easier to talk about things like cutting or ed's when you aren't looking someone in the eye!
I've had experience with self injury too. I'm glad that you haven't done any serious damage. It can be sort of addicting, so please be careful. I don't remember if I asked you...do you have a therapist? Have you talked to a counsellor at school?
It's good that your teacher checked in with you, but you would ultimately feel better if you had a trusted person to confide in about these things.
I didn't get the impression that you didn't love your mom. Just that she doesn't get the ed stuff. I love mine alot too, but don't talk to her about certain things. It's just easier that way. However, I have to disagree about teens having an easy life. I think that the teen years and early 20's are very stressful, unsure times and most definately NOT easy. I hope you are feeling better today!
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thinkaity
New Member
| Joined: | 2 January 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 6 |
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Posted: 17 January 2009 12:35 am |
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Hey!
I'm soo soo sorry i havent been on; my stupid computer crashed, and it took forever to fix ugh.
i hope you didn't think i abandoned you, cuz i really missed having someone to talk to.
but i see you've been talking to xxgeorgexx, i dont wanna interupt, but do you mind if i get back in the convo?
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 17 January 2009 08:39 am |
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| I'm really sorry! I did think I was stealing you convo a bit oops :O!
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 17 January 2009 08:48 am |
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Yes, Its so awkward. But I guess really, if I was open etc, I wouldn't be harming because I'd be talking to someone about it. I don't know.
No I have no therapist or anything. I don't think I want one either, makes it all to 'official' and open...and scary!
Lol to the mum thing. I was just checking in case I'd given the wrong impression! sounds the same as your mum. And I defiantly disagree with the teenagers having an easy life! I have soo many decisions to make, exams, expectations...the list goes on! and just generally trying to keep up with social things and not look like a complete looser!
Thanks again
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 17 January 2009 07:40 pm |
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thinkaity: Of course you can jump into the conversation....it's your thread! I was wondering if you were o.k. Sorry about having to get your computer fixed, but I'm glad that you are o.k. What has been going on with you? Are you still feeling hungry all the time...I am. Of course, I know that to stop the "hungry all the time" for me, I need to cut back on exercise. I'm doing o.k. with food, but exercise is so much harder for me.
I hope you are having an easier time. I'm looking forward to hearing about what's going on.
xxgeorgexx I can understand not wanting to make the ed "official". I felt the same way. In fact, I have a very hard time talking to a dr or therapist about the specific behaviors and most of the time I don't want to talk about them at all. (Except with you guys ) But, I know that I can't go on like this forever, so I keep trying.
I think that you are very brave to be trying this on your own. How are you doing? Were you able to increase your calories?
Talk to both of you soon!
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 17 January 2009 08:04 pm |
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I'm OK at the moment. Fed-up with life but keeping going. I've joined the gym and am really enjoying it. I've always enjoyed running anyways so I'm doing a lot on the treadmill now.
Food wise....its terrible. One day I keep to my plans, the next I have a binge. I find it so frustrating. School days are the easiest though, I take what I want and theres no temptation. But then I keep low and my stomach rumbles in lessons, its so embarrassing.  So don't worry about my calorie intake! Its stupidly high regularly.
If you don't mind me asking, when you were restricting did you find that if you binged (if you binged?! you probably have way better control than me!) did your stomach go really big and bloated? I feel like a fricking whale. Also, how many calories were you having a day before you went in?
Don't worry If you don't want to answer then. I'm just curious.
Thank you
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thinkaity
New Member
| Joined: | 2 January 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 6 |
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Posted: 18 January 2009 12:54 am |
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Thank you
and xxgeorgexx its fine i dont mind, just didnt want to interupt; but hi
but im doing a okay, I increased my calorie intake so im not as hungry, but its killing me that im taking in so many calories. I think I'm going to reduce my intake again, trying to work up the willpower to do it. i dont wanna fall back into anorexia, but i want to loose weight. ugggh its all so difficult.(oh and the reason im reduciing calories is bc i dont exercise)
anyways, im gald your doing ok. Whats making you exercise so much? Not to be nosey just trying to understand. i hope it'll get easier for you soon.
talk to you soon
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 19 January 2009 08:16 pm |
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xxgeorgexx, yes, my stomach has always gotten really bloated. I come from a whole family of "bloaters"! lol
I don't mind answering questions. I was eating about 1,000-1,200 cal a day when I left for treatment. That's why I kept thinking that I was fine, but I was burning off 1,400 + cal a day, so essentially, I was starving. It just took me a long time to "get it".
Since this past summer, I have finally realized that a person can be very sick and have medical problems, even if they are technically still eating. Hope this answered you question, you can ask anything you want, I don't mind.
thinkaity, well, exercise has sort of become an addiction for me. I do it too much and I swear, it's like a drug for me. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin if for some reason I don't get in the "right" amount of exercise. I am working on cutting back. The thing is, I have to cut back on exercise without cutting back on calories, or I'll be stuck where I was last year, which I never want to do again.
I'm glad that you're doing o.k. I hope I didn't make it sound like you have to exercise in order to eat more because that's not what I meant. It's just something I struggle with. Please be safe.
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 20 January 2009 06:35 am |
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Thanks you. Its really interesting to know different peoples experiences. Another questions!! How much exersize were you doing and Also what exersize were you doing at your worst?
Thank you
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 20 January 2009 06:59 pm |
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I was exercising between 4-6hours a day. That was on top of cleaning the house, running the kids around, grocery shopping etc. Eventually, my body started feeding off of my muscles and I was so weak that it was hard to climb a flight of stairs.
I did various exercises. pilates, used a fitness ball (with workout dvd), and got an elliptical machine for the house. That one (elliptical) really got me in trouble because it tells you how many calories you burned and of course, I got obsessed.
I think that moderate exercise is good for everyone, but for people with ed's, it's so hard to find "moderate". Do you have someone who doesn't have an ed to help you figure out how much exercise is healthy for you?
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 20 January 2009 08:45 pm |
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It's the same for me on the treadmill! I set it to calories and just keep going. I say to myself just get to 300 then when I reach 300 I aim for 350 and keep it going until I can't go anymore! It gets addictive but its so pleasing when you reach your goals. I was thinking of starting pilaties. Is it good?
No, I don't talk to anyone/have anyone to talk to. I'm not doing too much (I don't think) because I'm only going down the gym 3/4 time a week although I would go more if I could.
Thanks
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savanna3
New Member
| Joined: | 22 December 2008 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: 21 January 2009 06:05 pm |
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| I think pilates are really good. Especially when I need to take a break from cardio. I have a pilates dvd that I use and it's a combo of strengh/stretch. It uses moves from yoga but it's more "work out" like. (hope that made sense to you)
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xxgeorgexx
New Member
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Posted: 22 January 2009 06:32 am |
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Thanks! I might join up if my friends are going. Sounds like fun whilst working out! I'm not flexabe at all though so will have to see. Hope your well.
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thinkaity
New Member
| Joined: | 2 January 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 6 |
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Posted: 23 January 2009 12:01 am |
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hi again,
sorry if you think I'm abandoning you, there's just a lot of stuff going on in my life right night, and its keeping me busy.
but i sort of envy you, I'm soooo lazy i cant get myself to exercise i never could. i just cut calories till I'm where i want to be. but where i want to be seems to be getting lower and lower, and my heads telling me to fall back into Ana. (which I've been able to avoid for the last 3 years) But my heads saying "CHOCOLATE! BREAD! PASTA!" and i just want to eat it all, then afterwards i feel like #%@&!. i think with all the stress it seems like i need that "control" it gives me; though i know that's not the solution. but don't worry about me.
I am worried about you, all that exercise cant be good for your health (not saying exercise is unhealthy). Just the more you exercise the tired you get and the less energy you have, then everything just slows down...i assume that is...since i don't exercise i wouldn't know. just be carefull, please?
 Kait
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