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pris
New Member
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Posted: 20 March 2008 08:10 pm |
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Hello Again !
Im new, and I have posted my intro if anyone cares to see it. I decided to rid myself of 45 extra pounds that took me almost 18 years to gain, and 1 year and a half to loose. I tried many "diets, low carb, low fat, grapefruit, vegatable soup, diet suppressants, tea diets, etc and they never seemed to work for me. I never tried weight watchers, lindora or any other of the "group/support" types cause I never "fit in" They were either "very religous" or very "socially(income)" oriented. I never fit in. I tried a health club and felt lost. I also didnt seem to fit in with the "beautiful people"attirewise nor attitude".
I finally heard someone on TV talk about how it all came down to total calories a day and how the body to a point doesnt really care if its low carb, low fat etc. If you eat more calories than your body uses you gain weight, so I started by finding this site, by chance, used all the calculators and guidelines, articles etc and now I finished. Now I have to maintain and know that it will be a lifetime commitment. Im very scared to gain it all back. My goal is to be healthy, not a certain "number/ or wieght"
I never excersised when I was young, I was really fit w/o any work before I had my 2 sons. I was one of those hated people that ate whole pizzas, 12 packs of beer, just shoveled it in, ( always tended to overeat to point of being sick, never threw up, I liked food) I never really gained weight.I used to always wiegh about 105-110. But metabolisms change...... Boy, do they. I am 5' 2" and was 160lbs. Now I range from 105-110(im trying to stay at 110) Im doing fine most of the time, but many times, especially lately, when it comes to doughnuts, almonds, peanuts and pizza I find myself overdoing it to the point of almost barfing. I feel sick. I feel I need help and have no one to share it with. I know its a compulsion and in my family we have many certified bi-polars, bulimic/anorexians. Ive always been aware of this, and according to doctors I seem to be clear of those disorders( Drs say, that if Im even concerned and asking if I could be bi-polar that , that is the big clue that Im not, cause they never seem to think they have a problem till they hit rock bottom or get committed or worse) I have a brother that is bi-polar and other cousins/aunts etc. What do I do? I try to tell myself I can control it, and I do most of the time. Any suggestions? Help?
My mother treats me odd, since the wieght loss, thinks im too thin, alot of the persons I worked with that went out of their way to let me know how overwieght I was treat me wierd. People that recently have met me and hadnt known me when I was overwieght think I look fine, Im small, and small boned. The aunt I have with bulemia/anorexia constantly warns me about "purging". Like I said in my intro, Only person that treats me the same and doesnt make me feel like a freak is my boyfriend. He feel in love with me before, and never made me feel anything than desired and loved. He was never a "skinny" freak nor was talking about how sexy those unrealistic celebrities were, one can tell even if they pretend not to be that way. But I still feel depressed and isolated sometimes. I eat what I like, avoid bad stuff I always did. Oh, my sons also dont treat me like a freak, I eat with them all the time, they seem proud of me and support me.
Thanx again, any advise is welcome, tips etc.... If I can be of help, please ask.
Last edited on 20 March 2008 08:17 pm by pris
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trimB
Moderator
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Posted: 20 March 2008 11:03 pm |
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pris wrote:
I feel I need help and have no one to share it with. I know its a compulsion and in my family we have many certified bi-polars, bulimic/anorexians..
I'm glad you have some people in your life that you feel are supportive (boyfriend, sons). But it sounds like you are ready to think about some outside help for what seems to be an overeating compulsion. How bout Overeater's Anonymous (OA)? I admit I don't know much about the group, but I do know they have been helpful to others on these forums. Of course there is always therapy, counselors, etc - if you have those resources available to you.
Have you ever thought about any of those options?
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pris
New Member
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Posted: 20 March 2008 11:28 pm |
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Hello, thanx for reply, I have tried some therapy, mostly for other reasons, seemed like they went nowhere, maybe not the right therapists. Seems like you start to finally tell them all that youre concerned about and dr changes, or (my insurance is a factor)I looked into overeaters and not to knock religion, I have my own reasons, but they seem very religiously based so I didnt get into that. I think I will see about therapy/councelling for this. I think just reading others posts helps. If anyone has other tips on dealing with this. I think the fact that I have'nt taken out my favorite foods in my weight loss/maintenance has helped cause everyone else I know that is trying to loose wieght/lost weight by being really restrictive on what they eat typically binges weight back on. I think deciding to loose weight has to come from ones own decision, not what is popular, not what everyone else says is thin, not to get a "man/woman" and what one can "live" with for THE REST OF MY LIFE. I know that seems so scary, rest of ones life. Cause if you truly have a weight problem, going on a "diet" when you need is not gonna help, except on those who dont have a problem, like when I was young. I ate what I wanted and if I gained a couple lbs I cut back, and lost it. I has to be when youre ready to change.
"You CAN do it" see your doctor, rule out any medical reasons/conditions and do it safely.
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cportwine
Member
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Posted: 27 March 2008 04:54 pm |
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I was reading your post and the thing that struck me was what you said about how other people treat you. I have a post going in the general forum on that subject. I always thought that was odd how people react to you when you have lost weight and vise versa.
My suggestion on feeling alone in this. Is to maybe post in the buddy forum and find someone with similar problems as yours. Then you can support each other. Hope that helps
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magique4
New Member
| Joined: | 3 April 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 7 |
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Posted: 4 April 2008 06:21 am |
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Hi, Pris, I'm new and I came across your post and felt like I could relate to you. So my problem my seem silly and minimal to most people and that's why it's so hard to find motivation to continue being healthy. Because I'm small, most people don't realize how I'm feeling on the inside. Anyway, the following is what I wrote in my fitness journal that I decided to join today to help me:
I am definitely having a problem keeping my eating habits in check. Last summer I lost 10lbs by running and I looked HOT! And then I started watching my caloric intake and everything so much I became obsessed that I feel it backfired (the holidays didn't help either!) and over the winter period I gained back the weight again, maybe even 15 lbs. Actually, I think most of the weight has been put back on over the past month since I seem to binge eat 2-3 days a week! I'm so ashamed of this but I've seemed to lost all self control. I don't know what to do, but I'm afraid if I keep going down this road, eventually I will end up obese! I know that may sound comical considering I'm only 130 lbs and look fine...but that's as of right now. I want to just become normal again. I feel like my obsession over staying skinny backfired and with being in college, the stress of the last few months and boredom of my life has gotten me turning to food. Eating is my "break" from doing homework so I find I just eat to procrastinate. I need a hobby! And I don't get nearly as enough exercise as I'd like. I need help!!!! I always start off saying every week: "Ok, I can do this!" And I eat very healthy for like 3-4 days and then it goes down hill. I've found I am a social eater and I start binge eating when I have friends around. It doesn't help that our food is stored in a very accessible, vissible location right next to our dinner table. Also, I binge eat to the point I am uncomfortably full. I can't stop because I like the taste of food! I know it sounds horrible and I'm so ashamed of it. I wonder sometimes if my roommates notice, which I hope not but yeah, I feel embarrassed about it, so it must be a problem. It seems all that is on my mind is just food, food, food! When can I eat food? What can I eat? You know...basically that. And I haven't seen my family back home in a while and I'm embarrassed to see them again and present myself in this 10 lbs heavier way. I got my hair cut and everything to look cute and surprise them and I hate the way I look now! Even more, I hate how I feel about myself. I feel like a balloon and I try to wear clothes that hide this new hideous self of mine. My pants were even fitting too tight today!! I was horrified and thus had a terrible mood today. I just need motivation to not fall off the path to my goal. I feel like if I do stay with healthy eating for until my deadline, I can lose a little less than 2 lbs a week. And I'm eating just junk! And I'm sure it's screwing up the inside of me just as badly! I really don't know what lead me to turn into this type of person but I hate it and am disgusted at what I've become. So I am going to try my hardest to do this program I'm setting up for myself. I WILL do it; I CAN do it! The most important thing to not do is give into temptation because once I binge eat one day the following 1 or 2 days are the same and that screws everything up! Everything I've tried hard to maintain went to #%@&! that way!! NOOOOO! I need to be strong!
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pris
New Member
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Posted: 4 April 2008 05:16 pm |
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Wow. boy Ive felt all those feelings, and its not just you. I used to feel I was a "freak" I was always small and never really had a weight problem. I was one of those persons people would "hate" cause I could eat a whole lot. I have always had an overeating problem. I would be full, but Id keep eating, and eating and eating till I felt like Id puke. Once in a while I would, not from bulemia, but plain just too much food and drink, the body can only hold so much.
It was horrible, Id eat a meal, that I thought I enjoyed, but if someone offered me something I liked, like shrimp or fries or onion rings,what ever, Id eat it. It would make me sick.
I struggled, or even thought it was funny, cause since I didnt have a weight problem(YET) I just sort of dealed with it. I was about 26 got pregnant when it started. I weighed about 105 at the start and my doctor kept telling me that this was not the time to worry about my wieght, to eat. I didnt really start to gain till my 6-7th month, I ballooned to 165 at the end of it. I ate, ate,ate, boy did I.
After he was born I yo-yo'd at an average of 120-130 for a few years, after my second son It was harder, age combined with metabolism changes and depression in a bad marriage made it harder. Well almost 18 years after I was averaging 140-150 and on a small frame thats alot. No one thought I was all that "fat" but I felt it.
i would try/look at clothes I had always loved a felt sad that Id never wear them again. I got rid of alot that I regret now. I dont know what happened. I got together with someone who was a friend for 4 years and we started being lovers. He always made me feel good about myself, never made me feel unattractive. He is a good guy.
One day, dont really know what triggered it, obviously not cause of him or anyone. I saw a TV show about weight loss myths and it inspired me, they made sense. So i kinda combined all that Ive heard and set myself on a course to loose 15 lbs. Thats what I wanted.
I counted calories, did my research, heard that 1-2lbs a week was a safe rate, not to weigh myself for 3 weeks, cause it takes a while to adjust and show results. The show I saw said that was a main reason so many get discouraged and quit, youre dieting and excercising what seems literally your "butt off" and you dont see the lbs drop, its NORMAL. Well I did it, I set my calories to 1000-1200 a day.
That was NOT easy, believe me the first 2 weeks were #%@&!. I figured I was eating over 2000 calories before so I reduced that by 750 cals less a day and that would be about 1-2 lbs less weekly. Ater about 1 1/2 weeks it got easier, think my stomach shrunk cause it too alot less to fill me, I really made sure I ate calmly and slowly and with no distractions, even if it meant eating alone, cause if I had distractions I felt like I didnt really eat.
I basically tried to eat more meat/beans and vegetables. It was not hard for me to keep away from greasy stuff like cheese cause I never really liked it. I tried to let myself have what I really craved so I would not binge. I saw sooo many people fail that went on really strict diets where they cut off certain foods COMPLEATLY, not knocking it cause for some this works, but I think for the average person, it only leaves you WANTING that certain things and leads to binging.
Well after all that hard work, I stepped on scale and I lost 5lbs after 3 weeks, after that it was consistantly 2lbs a week. I lost the 15 lbs plus, I just kinda kept going. Ive lost 40lbs and im finished. I never would have thought I could do it. Believe me, I still deal with my overeating compulsion and its funny while I was loosing it was not so much an issue. My stomach really couldnt handle so much food. It was after, my mom kept saying I looked too thin, she was worried, she didnt think I was eating, I was, you can read my entries in some of the other forums( the intros) etc.
So I started to eat just to "show" her I ate, and I ate when I was not hungry or ate things I really didnt want to eat. My sons and my boyfriend saw that I ate, I just ate selectively, not just for the heck of it. Ive had a few bouts of overeating, especially my battles with doughnuts and nuts. It makes me sick, and now that Ive lost the weight if I eat too much and feel sick and happen to throw up it becomes the dreaded "bulimia or anorexia" since starting the weightloss and maintenance Ive only done this maybe 4-5 times( in 2 years) only cause I just ate toooooo much. Its a constant struggle and the weight maintenance does NOT stop just cause the weight came off. IT is a thing for LIFE.
For me it means keeping things in check, not allowing others to make me feel bad, cause I dont eat all the time. only when Im really hungry. I watch my calories, I excercise now, eat healthy and always let myself have those special things I like. I just plan my calories, If I want pizza its from my favorite place, If its doughnuts,its from the best place(thank goodness its 20mins away) I eat what I basically like, I have cut out anything in particular, just eat less of it, less often.
Yes, you have to be strong, but dont let yourself beat yourself psyhologically cause you trip up a bit. Remember any less calories you eat, is less than what you were doing and any little bit of excercise is more than what you were doing. Start off small, dont be drastic, ease into it. Be sensible and think about WHy you are loosing weight. It has to be for YOU, only YOU. Consult your doctor, be logical, and if it sounds too good to be true , it probably isnt. Dont believe others when they tell you what THEY weigh, most people lie. WHY? dont know.
Dont get stuck on numbers(lbs) or sizes of clothes(they lie too) think of how YOU look your best, even the styles that are in are not really flattering on most real womens bodies. So trying to look good in those things can make even the healthiest in shape woman look "fat" Look at yourself in your favorite undies and judge realistically and if all you see is "disgust" for yourself, than you might have a problem and seek help. THere are no "disgusting" persons, only disgusting behavior. Even what most call fat can be healthy if one cares for themselves and keeps healthy. It is possible to be 30-50 even 100lbs overweight and still be in shape and have a healhty heart and be toned and strong.
These forums help and there are many of us that can help, with our own stories and hardships. It is possible to loose with out extremes. There will be struggles and problems that will arrise after weightloss. From excess flab, (that does get better with time) deflating boobs, flappy bellies( like mine) etc. But they are all normal and there are ways to deal with and help. GOod Luck and if you need help we will all try to be there.
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magique4
New Member
| Joined: | 3 April 2008 |
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| Posts: | 7 |
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Posted: 4 April 2008 06:48 pm |
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| Thank you for you support so much! I was craving chocolate so badly yesterday that I had planned to go out and buy some today. My bad side kept wanting a massive amount but the better smarter part of me settled for a single, small pack of peanut M&M's! I'm so proud of myself already :)
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pris
New Member
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Posted: 4 April 2008 07:44 pm |
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Good for you if you can, try to find the mini bags, unfortunatly they come in larger bags of varieties. Keep them outside your home, maybe take them to work and put them out for everybody, stash your favorite one, such as the peanut M&Ms in a drawer and alow yourself maybe one a day? To help you decide what to eat find out the calories, sometimes the "shock" of how many cals can be enough to curb your cravings, I know it has for me.
Find substitutes for your chocolate, such as maybe toostie rolls, if youre a real choc lover that is probably "mocklate" but they helped me. Also, though not a deterrant, try something like those Kudos bars, they have some really good little 100 cal bars that are mostly oatmeal with bits of m&ms, some with snickers etc. Also the quaker oat company has these great little oat bars that also have choc chips, also 100 cals, at least they help that craaving,and sort of fill you with the oatmeal.
Good luck, you can do it, just try not to set yourself up with unrealistic "diets" that dont give you at least 1000 cals a day, go for the 1200 it is easier. You might even try to find out how much you typically ate on a normal day, once you add them up it might frighten you(i know it did me) so if you sort of round it up and take away 750 from that you will loose.
As far as excercise, start small. Dont go nuts, dont make your body ache by doing too much, just move as much as you can. Even while sitting at work at your computer move your legs, twist your chair side to side, lift yourself up from your chair usiing your arms, get creative. Lift your legs while on your chair, isolate muscle groups such as your stomach and hold it for few seconds, anything you do is more than you did.
Something that helped me was a silly thought: "Mind over food, for what really matters...."
If you find you need actual, physical help, see a therapist or join a 12 step, many on here found great support at the Overeaters Anonymus group. If food is hurting you, like alchohol, maybe thats the way to treat it. But you wont know till you try
PS. A great little tool to have, get yourself a little book called Calorie King, it has the calories of tons of foods, candies, restaurants etc. you can keep it with you whereever you go. Restaurants are the hardest, just remember you can survive this too. Just beware the hidden salad cals in salad dressings, try to order them with dresssings on the side, and ask for lemons to thin out the dressings. Youd be surprised how many cals are in any dressing, so much fat you might as well have the burger. Good Luck
Last edited on 4 April 2008 07:50 pm by pris
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