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tqsparkles
New Member
| Joined: | 6 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 7 October 2005 08:48 am |
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Well, I'd first like to say hi to everybody, I'm brand spanking new:D I love to help people, and will if I'm able so I look forward to being a pain and posting to everybodies topics as often as possible *hehe*
I'm wondering if there is anyone else here with a background familiar to mine. I'm an ex-anorexic. And I suppose 'ex' wouldn't be the right term, because just like an alchoholic, it doesn't matter how long you've been sober, you're still an alchoholic. But I feel I have a unique struggle-I could stand to lose a few pounds at this stage in my life (7 years recovered anorexic) but every time I start to 'diet' and really watch what I eat, I feel the temptation to just go absurdly unhealthy and fall back into my old habits of eating nothing but diet yogurt and sugar free jello and doing 3+ hours of cardio a day!
Now don't worry, I say I feel the temptation to do this, but I'm definitly not doing that. But it still scares me and I'm wondering how to deal with watching what I eat without becoming obsessive about it. It feels for me it's all or nothing. I either don't eat or I eat whatever I want.
The past few weeks I've been doing really well and just focusing on eating for health and fuel, but when I pass up the cookies, I want to pass up the carrots too. It's quite frustrating.
Anyways, that was me spilling my guts!
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 9 October 2005 08:18 am |
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Hey! I understand your struggle. At the beginning of the summer I felt that I could stand to lose a few lbs so I went on a diet, but quickly I just pretty much stopped eating (200-500 calories was normal for me) at nearly 5'8, I weighed 110 and realized that I had to stop. However, I'm still very neurotic about what I eat because I don't really want to gain back any of my weight, I just want to maintain. But it's difficult, because I'm so afraid of gaining, especially in my first couple of days back into the "normal" eating routine, because I ALWAYS feel lke I'm overeating. Consequently, usually the next day I severely cut down in order to compensate. I'm worried, and I don't want to be anymore, I just want not to have to think about it  because it's been too big a part in my life already. I really feel as though in some ways I've already ruined eating for myself (I used to enjoy eating, now I just think about how many calories a serving has) anyway, if you have any tips for me, that would be wonderful.
Mostly though, I'm really proud of you for overcoming so difficult as anorexia--I pray that I may find your strength!!
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tqsparkles
New Member
| Joined: | 6 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 9 October 2005 09:53 pm |
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Hi BlueFairy.
I know where you're at...what state your mind is in right now. My lowest weight was 74lbs before I was hospitalized (willingly, as I was horrifically scared at that point--I fainted all the time, began having seizures, and didn't have enough strength to pull the blankets over me at night). But EVEN then...when I was willing to get help and admitted that something was not right, I was bargaining with the doctors. I'll do what you say just as long as I don't weigh over 100lbs. etc etc. Turns out that I didn't recieve as much help from the hospital that I, or my family, had hoped I would, so I checked out 10 days after being admitted. The recovery process I faced on my own...
I don't know what tips I can give you...first thing I'd like to ask, is do you have a close friend, signifigant other, or family member who knows your struggle and is helping in any way they can? If not, and if possible, confide in someone. Not only for the support but we as individuals sometimes don't see things the way someone looking in from the outside does. Next thing I would suggest is finding a good outpatient program or even talking to a psychologist/psychiatrist. If you're over 18 they are not going to force you to be admitted to the hospital, even though they might suggest it.
Next thing--do you have a family doctor? If you do, see him or her and make sure you aren't experiencing a severe health risk right now at the low weight your are. Check blood pressure, pulse, kidney function--all of that. Be honest with them. Tell them you are worried. Please do this......
Once those steps are taken.....you need to have some 'sessions' with yourself. You really need to want to get better. I knew I was going to die. I mean, one day as I was about to fall asleep and I felt my weak and pathetic and thready heart beat, I KNEW it. It scared me. And that gave me enough spunk to face the evil little anorexia monster inside.
My memory is pretty vauge, but for the first few weeks I relenquished all control. I knew I HAD to eat, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So my mom (god bless her) took on that role. She prepared food, served it, ate with me (even when SHE wasn't hungry because I refused to eat alone) I was still bargaining, "let me do 20 minutes of cardio, etc etc) and it was hard.
As I started to gain a bit of weight I FELT so much better that it gave me hope.
Eventually I started looking at food as life. You eat to survive. We eat, or don't eat, for many many reasons, but when it all boils down its as simple as that. You don't see a thirsty plant refusing water, or a hungry kitten not lapping up a bowl of milk, and neither should we treat ourselves as though we don't deserve to eat (or live).
Bluefairy....you deserve to live, to feel good, to be happy, and in order to do all that, in turn you must eat.
You obviously have alot of willpower. Anyone who can manage to restrict themselves to 200-500 calories a day has alot of willpower. The trick is to refocus that will power. Set out a weeks worth of meal plans. Add 200 calories a day to whatever you're eating now. Start small. Plan foods that you enjoy (or used to). Stay as dedicated to that meal plan as you can. It's going to take all your strength. But you owe it to yourself and everyone around you who loves you and worries. Deep down inside, you KNOW you're not at a healthy weight, so don't be scared to get better.
I know its near impossible, but try not to think about numbers. calories. pounds. No scales. burn your scale. toss it out a window. Take a big black marker and right 'you don't own me or define me' and bury it. Get rid of it any way you want but once the panic is gone you're gunna feel empowered and its one step closer to taking control of your own self.
I wish I had more to offer.....I pray you find the strength in you to not let IT become you. I'm sorry this post was so long but I hope you read it all and found some comfort in knowing that you're totally not alone and there IS hope. I'm happier now at a few lbs over what I'd like to be, then I ever was when I was underweight.
Keep me updated. :)
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 10 October 2005 07:29 am |
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Hey sparkles,
Thank you so much, you have no idea how inspiring your post was! (I'm always amazed at the support I find!) I'll definitely try doing what you said (adding 200 calories a day) I figure I'll start off at 900-1000 until my body adjusts and then increase a little each week maybe until about 1400 which is my RMR.
It's funny because I lost the weight because I wanted to look better and feel better, and now, neither are true! I am trying to get better, I don't want to have this illness, and 110 is still early to begin the recovery, and I'm thankful that I was able to see before it got too terrible (the last time I weighed under 100 lbs was in 5th grade :yumm:)
thank you!
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tqsparkles
New Member
| Joined: | 6 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 10 October 2005 09:45 am |
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I'm glad you found my words to be inspiring bluefairy :) Just remember, in me and others you can seek comfort and support but the true strength is inside of you.
1400 cal/day is a good starting goal. Your RMR is what your body NEEDS just to live and perform daily functions. Anything less and it is suffering. But just remember, unless all you plan to do is lay in bed for the rest of your life, eventually you're going to require more then 1400 to be able to be active and healthy and happy.
Focusing on how you feel is key. The healthier your body gets, the better you are going to feel.
I know you have what it takes to kick this thing in the rear and not let it consume you.
Stay strong :)
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 10 October 2005 07:30 pm |
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Wow.
So, this morning I woke up and I was home alone and my inital thought was "great, that means I don't have to pretend to eat" lol, but I had a bowl of oatmeal (and I even put syrup on it!)which I guess was a good start
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tqsparkles
New Member
| Joined: | 6 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 10 October 2005 09:42 pm |
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Thats awesome bluefairy!  Way to go :D
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 11 October 2005 07:09 am |
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I ate two cookies, a bowl of oatmeal, a chocolate grahm cracker, a chocolate yogurt (I loooooove chocolate), a tomato, half an apple, 3 pieces of bread, pesto sauce
I feel so fat :(
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tqsparkles
New Member
| Joined: | 6 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 11 October 2005 09:29 am |
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You're NOT fat! 
You didn't eat enough today....but again, I understand what you're feeling. You feel fat, but the smart logical part of you KNOWS that you're not. And the smart logical part of you knows that fat doesn't just happen in a span of 12 hours. You felt pretty good when you had your oatmeal this morning, right? Well you're not any 'fatter' just because you gave your body some of what it has been begging for to live.
That little voice inside your head wants to sabatoge you. Wants to make you sick and unhappy because then it wins. Don't let it win. Tell it to go kiss your you know what!! Everytime you hear yourself thinking negatively about yourself...take a big deep breath and have a 'talk' (don't actually talk outloud, people might think you're crazy! :chew:) but have an 'inner' talk with yourself...say things you would to someone who was saying nasty things about someone you love. You'd tell them to shut their mouths and stop talking trash, right? Well YOU ARE someone you love!! You owe it to YOU.
What I found helpful when I was trying to recover was having a structured food plan. Thats partly why I suggested planning out your meals/snacks for a week and sticking with it. When I was faced with choices and options of what to eat I felt out of control and miserable. When I had my 'menu' and I knew ahead what was going to be going in my mouth, I felt much better. I don't have to do that anymore, but it definitly helped the recovery process so I didn't have to think about food so much.
I hope you feel better when you wake up in the morning and that today (if it's tuesday when you're reading this) is a better day.
Bad days are gunna happen and you might feel #%@&!py, but know that its only temporary, and if you want to be happy, you can be. :)
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 12 October 2005 03:10 am |
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Ok, I'm going to plan out my meals for tomorrow:
Breakfast:
oatmeal
Lunch:
snap peas or carrots
apple
pretzels
Dinner:
soup
salad
bread
and my caloric goal is no less than 500 and no more than 900
wish me luck :)
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tqsparkles
New Member
| Joined: | 6 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 12 October 2005 07:55 am |
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900 is still really really low bluefairy...but it's a start.
Are you a vegetarian? One problem I see with your meal plans is it doesn't contain enough protein
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Dancerthin
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
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Posted: 15 October 2005 06:37 am |
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I understand totally congrats on the recovery!!
I am still not there I am not sure if I'll ever be there. I wanna recover but I have hit suck a weight loss rutt that it makes me more desperate. I am actually on a fast/detox right now trying to flush my body so i can start from scratch. I would like to begin eating more protein, I like bluefairy usually eat around 3-500 cal. BUT I don't loose weight even if i work out every day. But the fact that I don't loose makes me eat less and less I'll have days where I am with family and I have to eat like 1,000 calories but I purge so its never ending.
Even when I try and eat like I know I am suppose to I can't. We'll I can but I CAN'T keep it in :(
 B
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Dancerthin
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
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Posted: 15 October 2005 06:37 am |
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| I wish you luck Bluefairy Last edited on 15 October 2005 06:41 am by Dancerthin
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 16 October 2005 10:27 am |
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| Well, I've been doing better-ish. I am eating more (today I ate between 800 and 1000 calories!!) but that's mainly because two days ago I dropped an addiitonal pound, don't know how that happened. The thing is, I have been setting plans as for what to eat, but I never remember them, and so I am in the same situation as other people where I eat too much of the wrong foods, so I'm thinking that starting tomorrow I'm going to set a limit for myself of at least 500 calories through fruits and vegetables alone, and hopefully that will make me feel good about eating more, feel full longer, and get me some very much needed nutrients. besides, who ever heard of getting fat on vegetables :) Thanks for all the support! It really has helped so far--what do you think of my plan? I really hope I can stick to it, because i love the idea of feeling healthy, energized and not guilty about what I put in my body and maybe even start to enjoy eating again...? I figure on this new plan I can have two salad, bowl of homemade soup (homemade, so I know that the only ingredients in it are vegies), two apples, snap peas, and carrots all in one day. I can't imagine feeling hungry after all of that!!
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 16 October 2005 10:35 am |
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Oh, and dancerthin-
good luck to you too! (are you a dancer? just a wild guess!) I took ballet for eight years, and the pressure to have no fat was amazing, I think that and my family were the two biggest triggers for me. On my mom's side of the family, obesity is in my genes and my mom is always on and off a diet (forever losing and regaining those last 20 lbs) and then there's my brother who is so perfectly stick thin without even trying (he's around 6 feet and 150!!) he eats all the time. It's not fair!!
Don't worry about not losing weight now. Where exactly are you getting the calories from? I suggest eating the same number but from different sources. For a while I allowed myself about 400 calories a day, but only because they were considered negative calories, completely guilt free, nutritious and filling. Theoretically you could add as many negative calorie items to your menu and never gain a lb (thus the name) Be wary of not eating enough! If you want to go on a fast, at least consider a fruit fast, but definitely don't give up. If you think about it logically, there's no way you can't be losing fat (maybe gaining muscle?) keep strong, and eventually if you stick to a plan, then you'll reach your goal. btw, what is your final goal? if you don't mind my asking, what are your stats?
good luck!
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Dancerthin
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
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Posted: 17 October 2005 07:33 am |
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Thank you so much its great having support from someone who knows what its like and knows that its sooo hard to control those feelings. I eat sooo healthy as far as i eat mostly fruits and veggies soy products all that good stuff. I currently teach dance part time because I love it my body can't do it full time as a career so i take professional jobs on the side and teach part time. I want to loose a lot more then I know I should so my realistic goal is to loose 10lbs and stay that way. I am currently 5'9 and 132lbs. I finished my fast today and it was a detox so i could have juice and soup broth it was easy 3 days. Tomorrow i will start my 5 small meals, and try and get more protein and eat carbs in the morning only. I will aim for about 800 cal but we'll see how that goes I'll keep you posted.
B
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 19 October 2005 01:25 am |
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| Hmm, yesterday and the day before I ate really well, healthy foods and everything, but this morning I weighed myself and I've gained three pounds--but I've been really careful to be at around 800 calories per day (today I thin kI'll have 500 and weigh myself tomorrow see if it was just a weird fluctuation) but I'm really bummed, and I'm wondering- will I continue to gain weight eating 800 calories? or at some point will I start losing again? I've reached my goal weight, now I just want to stay at it. any ideas?
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Dancerthin
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
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Posted: 20 October 2005 12:31 am |
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Whats are your stats? I have started eating "normal" again i am eating 5 sm meals lots of protein! We'll see if it works... I have no idea what to do to maintain your goal weight i know how to maintain a weight i don't want! Good luck let me know how it goes!
B
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 20 October 2005 05:18 am |
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| I am somewhere inbetween 5'7 and 5'8 (my doctors said 5'7.5, but since then I've been measured at 5'8..) and I currently weigh 110. I want to maintain this weight because even though I know it's about 10 lbs underweight, I feel as though it isn't a ridiculous amount. I also don't want to go under because at my height, I feel alright with how I look. I'm trying to slowly increase my food uptake until my body adjusts to what's normal again, but even though I've still been eating under the necessary calory intake i seem to be gaining weight. I really hope that the process reverses sometime soon! If I get up to 113 I know I'll freak and start not eating again. Yesterday I was at 111.5, and so today I compromised by having 500 calories. Tomorrow I'll weigh myself, and if it keeps on going up, then I don't know what to do
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Dancerthin
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
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Posted: 21 October 2005 06:22 am |
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Wow I am so jellous I would love to be 110 thats great. I am not sure what to tell you about the calorie intake i am still trying to figure it out. I am caving a fast sooo bad. I just feel better when i don't eat but i am trying to get out of that habbit i am eating small amouths throughout the day.
Good luck
B
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wannabeslim
New Member
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Posted: 24 October 2005 02:22 am |
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Hi guys--Im soo new to this forum thing so I hope this goes well. So here's the deal.. I am 32 and I am a  I am 5'4" and weigh 250. I have been dieting since the 14th of Oct. I started at 258.5 so Im doing good. But my question is HOW do you do it? How do you get your mind set of losing it. This is weird to say but I almost dream of being anorexic for awile (until I get to 105 lbs) but I cant seem to get my mind set. Any tips?? I been walking 3 miles a day and today I started walk/jog. So can you all help?
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Dancerthin
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
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Posted: 24 October 2005 02:40 am |
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Its in my head even though I am hungry I don't want to eat. And when I do I fill up on veggies and fruit! As far as tips I am not sure I know that I have a problem so... I might not be the best of help but it sounds like your doing great. PM me if you want to chat more.
GOOD LUCK
B
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 26 October 2005 06:37 am |
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Hey! I went down to 109, and then up to 112 in two days :-( (today I was at 111.5)--
as for this, I'm not sure I really every was anorexic because I always had a set goal, and I would never allow myself to stay at an average below 110, my goal. It was something I really wanted, I'm really goal-oriented, and it seemed to be the fastest way. At first when I tried to cut calories I would still eat around 1100, but then eventually, a pack of 100 calorie pretzels would magically become both my breakfast and lunch, I cut out all drinks with calories and figured out that if you suck on food (pretzels, cereal) it lasts longer. and makes you feel like you're having more than you actually are. I would go out on all day walks during the summer when I could without any money with the double whamming of excercise and no food. And hey, it did work. I am almost at my ideal weight-- but the problem is that now my body is used to around 600 calories (even while I run) and even when I have 1000 cals I notice it in the scale, so it's a real pain in the butt coming off. Eventually I want to work up until at least 1000, which is a semi-normal number. But, for example, today I only had around 500 (fat-free, 100 cal soup, pretzels, dry toast, 10 cups of water or tea and that's essentially it) I guess I can't deny that it worked for me, but I also know that it's not the way my body was supposed to opperate. I would suggest still cutting calories, but more importantly increasing excercise (intensity and length) also, even if you consume the same number of calories, but get them from different sources (ie, one tblsp of peanut butter is comparable to a FULL apple!) then you will feel fuller, and most importantly be getting the nutrients that you need. Once I get down to 110 (and stay there for a few days) I am going to slowly increase both my food intake and my excercise. Mainly, now, I want to be healthy, the best person I can be and I'm not going to let weight rule my life. If you're already losing weight in a safe and healthy way, then there's no need to go to extremes (although I do understand the feeling) I can't wait to be 110, because then I feel as though I'll be able to eat more normally...
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 26 October 2005 06:41 am |
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| and one more thing, I highly recomend the gardenburger dinners even for someone who eats meat because they are low in fat and calories REALLY filling and chock full of essential vitamins and minerals. Yesterday I had something like chicken with orange glaze, green beans and wild rice (protein, vegetables, and whole grains) and only 220 calories!! I'm constantly on the run, and that's a fast and easy way of figuring out how to eat well
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
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| Posts: | 4179 |
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Posted: 26 October 2005 07:29 am |
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You'll find that in the Gardenburger list in the food calculator.
Peter
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 28 October 2005 02:28 am |
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| so yummy :) I think that next time I'll try the ziti and meatballs... it's helping me to eat better because I know that it is a normal portion and I don't feel guilty because it has a ridiculous 12g fiber AND 12g protein in just one serving, plus it's warm which is nice now that the weather is not so nice...
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 28 October 2005 02:31 am |
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| oh, and today I weighed myself at 110.5, yay!!! only half a pound to go, and then I can start working on muscle mass and such. I'm excited, the end of dietting is in sight (although there's no guarentee that I won't gain all this back and have to lose it again...) anyway, I'm hoping to lose the next half lb by tomorrow, if I do, then I'll have 700-800 calories all next week and see how that goes.
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Dancerthin
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 17 |
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Posted: 28 October 2005 05:50 am |
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Good luck with adding calories.
I am really haveing a hard time I tried to eat "normal" and I gained so I am trying to makeup for it. By cutting calories (seigh.....) I am not sute this will ever end until I am at my goal weight!
 (fat)B
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 29 October 2005 02:09 am |
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Dancerthin-
don't eorry, that's what happened to me (I tried to eat normal, went up to 112 from 109.5) but today I was back to 110 by eating 700 calories, which is not so much less than what you say you were eating before. Try to eat the same, but excercise more...? i know it's hard, and it always freaks me out when I see I've gained weight, but try to focus instead of how your food/excercise choices make you feel. I didn't do that for the longest time, and instead of having a salad with dressing, I had the caloric equivalent in ice cream (or something equally unhealthy) and I realizerd that it was depressing me, because I wasn't eating what my body was meant for. From now on I'm redoubling my effort to eat enough fruits and vegetables. Tomorrow, in addition to my lunch I'll have an apple, carrots and sweet peas. Maybe for breakfast I'll have an orange in addition to my oatmeal. If you stick to any restrictive plan it will eventually work (you just have to let your body adjust) for me I gained because I went from eating 400 to about 900 calories, and now I know that I need to increase my intake more gradually than that. Today I will probably have about 650. Tomorrow I aim for about the same, but on sunday maybe I'll allow myself 700??? We'll see howi feel :)
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flyawayana
Senior Member
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Posted: 16 December 2005 07:27 pm |
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hey, theres other ana people in here... hi. im one too by the way.. but .. i suck cause you guys are soooo beautiful thin... you siad 110-112ish? thats my #%@&!ing GOAL weight. im SO huge right now its gross.....
fly
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 23 December 2005 06:31 pm |
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I'll bet your not huge--though I admit, that's how I sometimes feel now too. Seriously, I have been going up and down with my calorie alotments and when I went back up to eating 600, I gained about 5 lbs (back up to 115 :() I still want to get back down, but now I focus more on other things. I don't eat chocolate (although I did have a chocolate coated pretzel yesterday and it was worth it!) but I realized that even when I was below my goal weight, I was still unhappy with how I looked (I didn't let myself go below 108 because I think that's dangerous for someone of my height -5'8.5"-) and now I'm working on gaining muscle instead. I don't want to be bone thin, I just want to be slender and toned and right now I don't look that good because all of my weight is from fat. At my height and weight I'm 20% fat according to the elecric pulse thing, but according to the online conversion I should be close to 16%. So that's my goal, not to lose weight, but to improve my fat percentage. Good luck! But remember, it's better to eat negative calorie foods (fruits and veggies) than nothing at all because they rev up your metabolism and provide the nutrients that we all need. It's better to form good eating habits that you can be proud of and not have to hide or be ashamed of. If I were to go back, I would have never done this to myself. I like that I've lost weight, but I'm not sure that it was worth it.
I guess it sounds like I'm still a little sick. I'm not unhappy with my stats, I guess. I'm trying to say that I wouldn't mind gaining weight if I knew that it was muscle. Ultimately I want to feel normal again and not worry about the calories that something has. I want to feel healed and I thought it was going to be a lot easier. I've triied eating more (it was still only 800, but that was 4 times as much as I had been eating) but then I would gain something like a lb per day and I would go back to crash dieting. It's been such a struggle, I want to conquer this thing, I don't want to lose weight anymore, I just want to be normal...
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flyawayana
Senior Member
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Posted: 25 December 2005 07:13 pm |
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yeah, i sometimes wonder what normal really is.
i guess ive been screwed up since i was 7... so. this truely has become a lifestyle for me.. seeing as i know nothing else. good luck to you working on adding more cals and muscles... right now im doing this where i'll eat 1,000 cals, never more, and then excsersize enoughto burn off 700 cals.
whats funny, is id probably yell at someone else who was on thatplan cause, through a excersize/ nutrition majors eyes... hello, wtf?! but yet i do it.
*sigh* ha...
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 26 December 2005 02:49 am |
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I'm so upset-- I ate around 2-400 calories all last week and figured that I could drop maybe 2 pounds (from 115) especially since I am also doing track, but instead I actually gained half a lb. I've been going over everything I ate, and even if I drastically overestimated, I still ate far less than 600 calories. How can I not be losing eweight? It's this cycle which makes me eat less. Now I think I'm gfoing to try a fruit fast. Basically, eat only fruit and vegetables-- but as much as I want of them
good luck to you
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flyawayana
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 December 2005 04:22 am |
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maybe try doing that 2,4,6 diet where one day you eat 200 cals , the next day you eat 400, the next 600, then the next 400, then 200... you get it. it kinda helps to jumpstart your metaboolism, ive found it actually helps a bit..... if 600 freaks you out, just adjust the numbers so that they are handleable/ tolerable to you.
then agian, it could be cause you (I, we.. whatever. lol) are eating too less of cals and the metabolism is just shutting down and getting slower.. hence the gaining of weight.
good luck...
(and WHOA, i am doing hard core, im fat and stupid, holidays SUCK get my lazy self back in action week, starting tomorrow..... cause i ate cheesecake on xmas day *bleh*)
fly
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 30 December 2005 03:50 am |
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Dear fly-
thanks so much for the advice! I feel like I only have a little ways to go, (4.5 lbs, to be specific) and I'm so close! I just got a gift certificate to the GAP but I'm not going to use it until I'm think again. That will be my treat :) But seriously, I'm trying to work on making better choices and everything. It really sucks to always have to think about this and never be satisfied.
Here's to a better life!
(and happy new year!)
-blue
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kathleenyork
Senior Member
| Joined: | 31 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 32 |
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Posted: 6 January 2006 08:31 am |
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bluefairy- i didnt read the whole thread, just the last few posts...maybe you didnt drop those 2 pounds because you started the diet so fast? for example...i binged like crazy over xmas, i gained 5 pounds in two weeks, which is impressive even for me...i got home and went on a severe restriction- 300 calories a day, and i didnt lose weight. then i ate 2000 one night (i sort of had a break down) and i lost three pounds...and it stayed off...just stick to it and youll see results...its not something im proud of, but i lost 60 pounds from this sort of restriction, it takes dedication, but you have that. keep it up!
i started a new regimen where i burn 2000 calories and eat 500...ive been a little slack but come monday ill kick it into high gear! i dont want to be a slave to my habits, but that in itself is a hard habit to break.
good luck ladies!
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bluefairy
Member
| Joined: | 5 October 2005 |
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| Posts: | 25 |
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Posted: 9 January 2006 12:37 am |
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| Thanks for the input! This past week I went on extreme starvation mode--until today, that is. I went from 117 last monday morning, and this morning I was down to 112.5 again. I had a terrible day today, though. I started eating ice cream right out of the box. It was disgusting, and I don't even know how much I ate. My revised goal for this week was 110, but now I'll be lucky just if I don't go back up to 117. I'm going to try to eat more. My problem is that I get really good at ignoring hunger...sometimes, but when I can't I reach for the worst foods. I'm really going to try to eat only fruits and vegetables until my body gets used to having real food and then I can start incorporating starches and maybe even fats (who woulda thunk it) But for now, I just am so annoyed at this last little bit-- On the other hand, when I checked last week, my body fat percentage dropped 6 points since september (which makes me very happy).
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fezzywink
New Member
| Joined: | 17 December 2007 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 17 December 2007 11:53 pm |
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| What kind of exercise are you doing to burn all those calories? I do about 2 hours per day on a recumbent bike, should I do more?
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gogogogogogogo
New Member
| Joined: | 1 January 2008 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 2 January 2008 01:23 am |
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Hello, everyone
I've been reading your stories and i'm really happy for all of you. I dont have an eating disorder myself, but i have a friend who is suffering from a combination of bullimia and anerexia nerviosa. Its really bad. She eats a lot of unhealthy food and then it doesn't sit with her so she thinks okay, to get rid of this, let me starve myself for the next week. In theory,this seems alright to some people! But it isn;t for this tiny girl to constantly think she;s fat. She'll eat like a bowl of cherrioes in the morning and be obsessed with the fat that food is inside of her and excersize like crazy to get rid of it. When she does it, its not the best of food. I guess its just the temptation. And so sher gets mad at herself for being weak and allowing herself to consume all of that food. She injures her self then too. She sees a counsler, but thats not working. Her parents add stress on her, (w/ strict rules and things like that) but they're the only people e she'll eat in front of. She'll restrict herself insane amounts of food, and when she realizes she needs to eat she binges and then gets angry with herself and wants to get rid of it. Nothing i say seems to work. weve talked about balencing meal plans but that doesnt work when all she'll eat is a cracker. I really need help with this. Do you have any advice, anything i could tell her thats not go see a counsler because that doesn't really seem to be working anyway. Thank you in advance for all of your considerations!
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SWINDLE
New Member
| Joined: | 5 December 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 7 |
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Posted: 2 January 2008 02:12 pm |
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Hi, I was reading everyone else's reply in this and it has really helped me little by little. I'm not sure if I had or still has a eating disorder and I didn't go see a doctor yet, but I started off fine with a normal diet.. then... I started to think that I needed to eat less and less food until it was about 300 calories a day. My mom always yells at me to eat more and that I'll get sick and end up in a hospital if I dont- that really stresses me out and makes me want to eat EVEN LESS. I was angry a lot and really disliked myself for always having to count calories and caring too much about every meal. Whenever my mom yells at me I sobb, throw the food of plates at her.. runs off to my room.. screams and hurt myself til I bleed (scratching).... now that's really bad. eating less is really effecting my mood also.
Now, I've been trying to increase my calorie intake and I'm up to about eating 1000 calories a day and sometimes 900.. and.. sometimes 1200. anyways it switches on and off. BUT! My mom STILL yells at me and ups me down! she wants me to eat more.. I'm afraid. I took a lot of guts to put more food in my mouth. I DO want to eat yummy foods again.. but I'm so scared of gaining my weight back. I do still get depressed and hate myself. No body understands how I feel in my family... nor the people around me. I understand they are worried.. but what they say reallllly doesnt help. things like "You look so skinny now, are you sick?" , "Why are you on a diet? you know.. skinny people don't look attracting", "You should eat MORE!!!!", "Dont go on a diet", "what are you? a vegitarian now?", "You dont look happy when you eat".
also.. I'm asian.. so my family eats white rice everyday.... and I'm scared to eat them again. I don't know what to do..........or what I should eat.... I dont want to eat too much calories....
help me pleaseee................
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 2 January 2008 03:02 pm |
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Did you know that Overeaters Anonymous also welcomes anorexics and bulemics?
(and don't forget to visit http://www.caloriesperhour.com/tutorial_disorder.php)
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Katie1786
New Member
| Joined: | 4 January 2008 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 5 |
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Posted: 5 January 2008 08:37 pm |
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Hi Bluefairy,
As a former anorexic, I wanted to comment here. I am 5'1" and I am now 104 lbs at the age of 21. When I was 15 I dropped down to 87 lb eating no more than 1000 calories a day. I would eat two slices of light bread with Fat free butter and a cinnamin sugar mixture (made with splenda) in the morning, a tiny salad with no dressing for lunch and a small portion of whatever dinner my dad prepared that night. When I first started trying to gain weight, I increased my calories drastically, and I lost two more pounds. My mom was threatening to make me eat junk food so I would gain weight. The thought of that scared the #%@&! out of me.
I have been at a normal weight for the past 6 years, however for most of those years I was not what people would consider "skinny." For awhile I was at around 115 pounds. I was absolutely miserable when i was anorexic, because the obsession just overtakes your life to the point where absolutely nothing else matters. However, I was miserable at 115 pounds when I would ask a guy if I was skinny and he would tell me that skinny girls were gross and he likes a girl with "meat on her bones." In my mind there is no worse insult than that. So I recently lost 11 pounds and am now conventionally skinny and happy with my body. I have the same problem where I do have to worry about being too thin. I weigh myself everyday. I am afraid to go below 102 or above 106. So it is still somewhat of an obsession. My body tends to gain and lose weight very quickly...if I go a few days without weighing myself I may gain or lose 5 pounds without even knowing it.
I feel like we have it so hard in today's society because it has become so accepted to be bigger. The average American woman is a size 14, but a size 14 is overweight. Therefore, it is so hard to tell if you have a problem or not, because if a size 14 has become what is considered normal, then a size 6 might be considered extremely skinny and a size 2 anorexic, even though it isn't, just because our society in general has an eating disorder...compulsive overeating. If I have to see one more fast-food commercial advertising "now with more cheese" I am going to scream. Do we really need more cheese on our food? I almost feel like I have to rebel against this ridiculousness by eating healthy and exercising. I am so tired of hearing about real women's bodies and accepting myself the way I am and unattainable standards. The fact is that skinniness is an attainable standard, but most people are unwilling to put in the effort to attain it. Everytime I feel like I am not normal, I think, but is it normal to binge eat either...no it isn't. I don't even know how a happy medium can exist.
I am all about organizing. I make food charts and excel spreadsheets for calorie counting which seems compulsive, but if you don't count calories, how do you know how many you've eaten and avoid putting on weight? I essentailly have the classic anorexic mentality of not wanting to give up control.
Sorry for all the ranting, I am just so happy to see people who think the way I do. That being said, I think you could be eating too few calories to lose weight. My weight loss plataued when I was eating only 1200 calories. Over Thanksgiving I was eating more food more often, and I couldn't weigh myself. I came home three days later and discovered that I went down to 102 lb from 106 lb. When I resumed my regular restricted calorie diet, my weight increased back to 106 within two days.
If you are having trouble loosing weight because you have truly messed up your metabolism with extreme dieting in the past (my metabolism was relatively uneffected by my extreme calorie cutting) you might try zig-zagging your calories. Maybe eat 800 one day and 1400 the next and do this on and off every other day. Eating an average of under 1000 calories a day is very bad for you. That is too few calories for me, and I am 5'1". You are 5'8", so your caloric needs are probably higher. I know the thought of gaining weight is scary, it is my biggest fear to be told that I am "thick" or have a "j-lo butt" ect, however increasing calories may be the best method for you to use to lose weight.
Another consideration would be your activity level. I do 9 hours on the elliptical at 10.3 miles per hour each week, 1/2 hour of toning five times a week, and 20 minutes of weight-training 3 times a week and eat 1700 calories to maintain my weight. If you a similarly active, you should be able to lose weight eating between 1200 and 1500 calories.
Good luck.
-Katie
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Past Member
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Posted: 5 February 2009 11:27 am |
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Hi Everyone
I had a friend who had bulimia and constantly struggled with his disorder. However after mush sole searching we found a way he could live a healthy lifestyle.Last edited on 5 February 2009 01:10 pm by
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lizziegirl
New Member
| Joined: | 10 September 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 10 September 2009 04:15 pm |
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hi guys, im creating a documentary for 6th form to show young girls the harms of eds. if anybody could give me any info- (you can be annonymous) about how it feels to have an eating disorder/or be over one, please email me on
lil_hunni_lizzie@hotmail.com
thank you guys xx
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ZoeBlue
New Member
| Joined: | 13 September 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
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Posted: 13 September 2009 06:15 pm |
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Hi All,
I'm new here and pleased to see that there are others who share my struggle that I can talk to. I have been anorexic and bulimic for 17 years. My weight has been as low as 79 lbs and as high as 170.
I have two children, and I nearly lost the first one due to my anorexic and bulimic behaviour. I managed to have a healthy pregnancy with medical intervention and he was both healthy at 7 lbs. I got into a therapy program after that and had stopped all my anorexic and most of my bulimic behaviour when I got pregnant with my second, she was just born a few months ago. Now my weight is the highest it has ever been (170).
By the time my first was a few months old I had already lost all my preggo weight and was back in size 0 jeans. Of course, I was starving and puking and I was significantly younger then. This time I can't seem to get my body to budge. I have been afraid to diet because I know I will just starve myself. I tried to start dieting again about a week ago and lost 6 lbs in 5 days.
I have no idea how I am going to pull off getting back to a normal healthy weight without getting totally sick again!
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shabina
New Member
| Joined: | 8 June 2010 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 8 June 2010 05:35 pm |
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| Hi Im new on here, I wanted some advice as to how I could loose some weight, how many calories I need to be eating per day and what foods to get these calories from in not very good with diets, the healthy eating thing has never worked on me in fact I tend to gain weight this was. can anyone help
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 8 June 2010 10:10 pm |
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shabina wrote: the healthy eating thing has never worked on me in fact I tend to gain weight this was. can anyone help
When I hear this, I think about somebody changing changing from wheat bread to wholewheat bread thinking it'll make all the difference.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to read this free resource which will no doubt completely change your view of what is and isn't "healthy eating"
http://tinyurl.com/EatRightFree
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Past Member
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Posted: 5 July 2010 06:47 am |
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| Well ! felt that I could stand to lose a few lbs so I went on a diet, but quickly I just pretty much stopped eating (200-500 calories was normal for me) at nearly 5'8, I weighed 110 and realized that I had to stop. However, I'm still very neurotic about what I eat because I don't really want to gain back any of my weight, I just want to maintain. But it's difficult, because I'm so afraid of gaining, especially in my first couple of days back into the "normal" eating routine, because I ALWAYS feel lke I'm overeating.
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Angle00
New Member
| Joined: | 6 July 2010 |
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| Posts: | 4 |
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Posted: 7 July 2010 08:46 am |
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Anorexia Nervosa is classified as an eating disorder. People with Anorexia Nervosa have an obsession with food and are overly concerned with being thin. They are often so terrified of gaining weight that they go to extreme measures to lose weight or maintain a body weight that is below normal for their age and height.
Anorexic individuals restrict the amount of calories they consume, sometimes to the point of self-starvation - or purge by vomiting the small amount of food they do eat. They also use laxatives excessively or over-exercise so that their bodies burn more calories than they eat.
However, Anorexia is more than simply the need to be thin or to restrict food intake. It is often psychologically tied to the lack of control the person may be experiencing in other aspects of their lives. On a subconscious level Anorexic individuals may feel a sense of accomplishment that they have control over something in their life. The constant mental pre-occupation with food and their weight means that mental anguish, or other emotions, are avoided and not dealt with.
People with Anorexia nervosa are often overly sensitive to world issues, and often take the worries of the world onto their shoulders. The strict restriction of food may be used as a measure of how good they are at restraining themselves, taking willpower to an extreme degree. They can see it as a great feat, and inwardly applaud their determination.
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cwilson00344
New Member
| Joined: | 11 July 2010 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 12 July 2010 06:42 am |
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| heartwarming post you got there!
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