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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 16 December 2007 08:37 pm |
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I'm long over the life-threatening episodes of my eating disorder, but never expect to be "normal" about the way I think about food and my weight.
One long-time symptom has been my resistance to buy new clothes when I am overweight. And, in my mind, that's just about always!
Here's an example of what I mean at its worst:
About 8 years ago my daughter and I were in a shopping mall and I decided to get some new jeans. So I bought them a little tight, knowing that I would soon lose a few pounds. These jeans are still sitting on my closet shelf, after 8 years, never worn.
A couple years later, still wearing the same old jeans, I bought another pair. They were an inch bigger in the waist, still a little tight, but I bought them knowing that I would soon lose a few pounds. These jeans are still sitting on my closet shelf, after 6 years, never worn. They sit on top of my 8 year old jeans.
A year ago I went to Switzerland and HAD to have some nicer jeans so a friend took me to a mall and we bought a pair that actually fit. Unfortunately, they fell apart quickly and for the last few months I have only had my cargo pants I got for my Red Cross work. (Which everyone says look pretty cool!)
But I decided I just had to have a pair of jeans to wear during my family Christmastime at my daughter's, so yesterday I went and bought a pair.
The first pair I tried on, one inch bigger than the 6-year old pants, were a little tight. They only had even sizes, and so the next size up was a little loose. A tough call for me, since I always think that I will soon lose a few pounds. Getting the picture?
I'm thrilled to say that I bought the bigger size. I will actually have a pair of comfortable jeans to wear for Christmastime, and I can always give them away when I fit into the jeans on my closet shelf.
The new jeans are Wranglers, and only $15 at Target. And there's not even any sales tax in Oregon, so the money is not the issue here. I can certainly afford a new pair of jeans every few years.
The issue is the struggle to buy something when I am (somewhat permanently) a little heavier than I'd like to be.
Anyone else have this problem?
Peter
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PillowCays
New Member
| Joined: | 26 December 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 2 |
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Posted: 26 December 2007 04:11 pm |
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I have that problem. Actually it's funny. I am going shopping today and I was planning on buying some slightly smaller clothes, just so I make myself lose weight...and if I don't I'll be mad that I wasted that money...so hopefully it works...if not...than...well it just better! 
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clarinetgurl
Moderator
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Posted: 26 December 2007 08:23 pm |
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Yeah, I have the same problem Peter. Every time I buy new clothes, I always think, hmm, I will buy this a little tight so that as I keep losing weight it will fit. Problem? I am currently not losing weight. But if I buy clthes that fit and then I do lose weight....tsk tsk tsk. And I like my clothes to fit...like not so tight that I look like a you know what, but I do like to wear clothes that fit, aren't really loose and stuff.
So, the solution? I guess I just need to get back to losing weight. Excuse me, losing fat 
CG
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kwats00
New Member
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Posted: 26 December 2007 09:22 pm |
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I do the same thing. I bought 2 pairs of slacks and 2 beautiful blouses that are waiting in my closet. I don't care if I don't wear them this winter, just as long as I wear them before the moths get them.
Last edited on 28 December 2007 05:31 pm by kwats00
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Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
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Posted: 2 January 2008 08:23 pm |
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My "issue" is a bit different...
I can Not bear to part with the clothes I have shrunk out of.
I have "tons" O' clothes that are 1, 2, 3 sizes too big.
I did give a bunch away to goodwill this year.
Victor
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1seekspie
Senior Member
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Posted: 3 January 2008 04:07 pm |
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I can relate to clothes-shopping issues!
The other day I went shopping with my mom at the mall to take back certain gifts that didn't work out so well, get a few new things, and of course look at the cute puppies! After walking in, I immediately sprinted toward my favorite clothing line: South Pole. And there it was: the spunkiest, coolest top I'd ever laid eyes on. It was a white tank-top made of really soft fabric under a read Half-top to cover it. The words: South Pole were written in cursive across the read half-top and the gold material used to write them sparkled. I had to try it on.
Now after a few years of trying I've gotten to the point were I'm relatively satisfied with my waist line....so I decided I could finally try to wear something that was semi-tight, flattering, and genuinely cool. I slipped it on and it fit perfectly. Tight----but not too tight. Not to brag, but it really did seem to flatter me! I strolled proudly out of the dressing room to show my mom how awesome this looked. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to impressed and instead she quietly and sadly told me why I couldn't wear this shirt. There was something I had been unaware of:
The problem was, when I looked in the mirror to see how it fit me, I was only starring at my waist, unaware that my hips and you-know-whats were bulging out of it. I was crushed, but continued to shop....perhaps anther nice shirt would have a similar look, but not make me appear bulgy. I searched for other shirts similar to the one I'd longed for, but my mom kept coaxing me away from them. I never got my dream shirt. I left the mall that day, angered and upset.
Here I was thinking that if I lost a little fat on my waist, I'd be able to wear some semi-tight shirts and look flattering in them! apparently my hips and you-know-whats had other plans. And I'm beginning to think that I never lost any fat at all....that the fat just compressed itself into other areas. Being that there's no such thing as spotting, I don't think I'll ever be able to healthily get rid of that fat. So the dream of my dream shirt must die and I'm left shopping for shirts that are looser and and not nearly as cool. Worse yet, my jeans never seem to work out for me because my hips are so wide. And I have to be careful shopping for tops and swim suits in the summer thanks to my evil.....we-all-know-whats!!!!
So I too have some shopping issues. I can't change anything so I just need to accept it. Luckily I'm not rich enough to go shopping all the time!
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Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
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Posted: 4 January 2008 04:27 pm |
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Pie,
Do Not dispair! Perhaps your Mom is just being a bit.."conservative". Moms do want to protect their young'uns you know. I did the same last week and bought 4 shirts size SMALL!, my wife said they fit me just fine, they were not too tight, but did NOT bag off me like most shirts I have worn for the last 25 years. When my daughter saw me in them she remarked.."Dad, those are way too tight for you, you look 20 in them!" While she meant her comment as a dissapproval, I took it as a compliment! 
You'll find the clothes you like, don't worry.
BTW.....Guys like the "you know whats".
Victor
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1seekspie
Senior Member
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Posted: 4 January 2008 05:46 pm |
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Thanks Victor .
Typically my mom is a total 180 from conservative. However, when it comes to me, she is very protective and aware that boys like you-know-whats so she tries to keep me from drawing any attention whatsoever.
By the way, I enjoyed the comment about your daughter as I can totally relate! I've gone fashion-police on my dad hundreds of times. Though I like to think my advice has "saved him" countless times so it wouldn't hurt you to take a tip or two.
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CathyWe
Member
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Posted: 5 January 2008 12:05 am |
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I have an opposite problem I think. When I lose weight, I continue to buy the larger size because I do not believe that I will keep the weight off. So, my clothes bag off of me. I have found that I like that baggy feeling, so I buy clothes that are bigger on purpose so that I cannot "feel" them. If I can feel the waist of my pants, even if it is not tight, I hate it! I am not sure how long it will take if I actually keep the weight off before I will buy a smaller size. I hope that I find out this year!
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 6 January 2008 12:17 am |
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I was just reading the updates to this topic and got the idea to post back and show a New Years picture of me in my "fat jeans"!
Remember, I'm not putting myself down. This is progress that I was able to buy a bigger size and be comfortable. They are loose and my stomach is hanging forward.
Still, I'm joining the New Year New You Challenge and plan to get back into my smaller jeans... which of course I kept!
PeterAttached Image (viewed 313 times):
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CathyWe
Member
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Posted: 6 January 2008 08:05 pm |
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Well Peter, I am glad that you are not putting yourself down because you look fine to me. I don't know how old you are, but honestly, in that picture you look good! I will never be brave enough to post my picture now...until I lose some weight that is noticeable. Then PERHAPS I will post a FORMER pic of myself. I wish you all the luck in the world in your new year new you challenge! I have a goal of losing 5k a month, or 11 pounds. Another thing I love about Sweden...I only weigh 140 here!!!
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mollymoo24
Senior Member
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Posted: 7 January 2008 12:20 am |
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I too have quite a numer of items in my closet that still have the tags on, waiting for me to lose a few pounds. Hopefully now that I am really focusing on trying to lose weight, I will actually get back into some of them.
Also, something for ME to look forward to, would be getting back into regular women's sizes instead of being right in that size 16-18 and a "Women's Petite". Finding clothes, especially business clothes, in a 16WP or 18WP has been impossible and I rarely even waste time any more trying to shop. It would be great to get into some nice new suits that are just a 16P, for starters, that would give me some department store options.
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abnormalapathy
Senior Member
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Posted: 17 January 2008 03:39 pm |
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Victor version 4.0 wrote: My "issue" is a bit different...
I can Not bear to part with the clothes I have shrunk out of.
I have "tons" O' clothes that are 1, 2, 3 sizes too big.
I did give a bunch away to goodwill this year.
Victor
Me too!!!!!!!! I took them to the tailor and had them taken in...
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abnormalapathy
Senior Member
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Posted: 17 January 2008 03:46 pm |
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mollymoo24 wrote: I too have quite a numer of items in my closet that still have the tags on, waiting for me to lose a few pounds. Hopefully now that I am really focusing on trying to lose weight, I will actually get back into some of them.
Also, something for ME to look forward to, would be getting back into regular women's sizes instead of being right in that size 16-18 and a "Women's Petite". Finding clothes, especially business clothes, in a 16WP or 18WP has been impossible and I rarely even waste time any more trying to shop. It would be great to get into some nice new suits that are just a 16P, for starters, that would give me some department store options.
I don't know where you're shopping, but I have some beautiful suits in sizes ranging from 16-22. I bought most at Macy's, one at L&T, and a few from Burlington, oh and one or two from Sears. Tahari are great suits, and they do come in plus sizes. I even have an Anne Klein that's really nice.
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 17 January 2008 06:14 pm |
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Does a bear *** in the woods? Try being overweight and short. Even if you can find something that fits, you always know you've got to cut at least 2 inches off the legs of the short sizes.
My hobby is finding treasures at Goodwill and other low end shops. I've found some wonderful things there for my house - antiques, linens, etc. Yesterday I found a Chico white blouse just like I'd like to wear when I am small. Also found a pair of Lauren shorts. These were nice items - toooooo small. I finally came to my senses and decided I'd have a shopping spree when I can get into these things.
Right now nothing fits from anywhere. The big girl clothes just don't hang right and the regular women's clothes are too tight. Seems like I've been in between since I was about 7 years old.
The good news is I am changing my life...
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ObsessedwithFitness
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 January 2008 02:07 pm |
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I feel like I can relate to MANY of the topics in the forums today...which I am not sure is a GOOD thing!!!!
...so this has been happening for YEARS now...I buy clothes just a LITTLE snug cause "I am losing weight anyway" and then they never fit because I actually gain a few pounds back and they are way too tight!!! I refuse to go up ANOTHER size so I wait, and wait and wait until I get to my "goal" which seems to allude me, or I avoid it, still not sure about the psychology behind that. I dont buy jeans anymore...because I am never at my goal and if I buy them so they fit NOW, then its encouragement to not "waste money" on them and stay this size...but if I buy them a little tight, it will encourage me to lose weight and I can still wear them....sound crazy to anyone else???
But anyway, I have these skinny jeans...they sit and sit and sit on top shelf in my closet on a pedestal.
- they are a size 7 (but in juniors and shrunken already to like, a 5 in juniors)
- they are completely OUT of style
- they dont fit AT ALL-can hardly even get them on let alone button or zip them
- I dont even like them, the color has faded beyond recognition
but yet...I keep them. WHY you ask? Because they are the only true test of getting to my goal. The scales are evil and you cant trust them, and the calipers can be off. But I know, when these jeans fit me comfortably...I will be at goal weight. They used to fit, about 8 or 9 years ago. Gosh, I can't believe its been THAT long...who am I fooling??? Not myself anymore. Again, glad I am not alone in this crazy way of thinking. Every year on my birthday people get me giftcards and I end up buying other people presents with them because I am never at my goal weight and dont want to buy clothes "yet" ...hmmm...one for my therapist's office...
 OWF
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abnormalapathy
Senior Member
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Posted: 4 February 2008 07:27 pm |
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OMG, OWF, that's exactly what happened with this pair of jeans I just bought. So I had the argument in my head about whether to keep or return them. I can button them, btw, but they're unforgiveably tight. So I went back and forth and my ultimate decision was this: I need jeans. Therefore I am going to go back and buy the same ones in the next size up. I will keep the current pair and five pounds from now I'll have a snug-but-comfortable pair and a pair that's a little loose but still fashionable.
Ta-da!
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 5 February 2008 02:35 am |
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Abnormal Apathy,
Good decision! And I'm happy to report that I wore my Christmas jeans to a Super Bowl party and soon they will be too lose!
Peter
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jonibug
New Member
| Joined: | 20 January 2008 |
| Location: | Texas USA |
| Posts: | 239 |
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Posted: 5 February 2008 06:06 pm |
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Oh my gosh what a topic! I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one. I'll be 50% of my closet is filled with gorgeous clothes I can't wear!!!! 50%!!!!!!! Can you spell
D-E-N-I-AL? I've been doing this for YEARS! A couple years ago I went through and got rid of a bunch of it. I cringe when I think of the wasted time, energy and money that went into that!
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kakki
Senior Member
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Posted: 5 February 2008 07:32 pm |
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| I kept all my prepregnancy clothes- yes, they were still big clothes but... I just couldn't throw them away w/ all the money that was spent on them, I would never be able to afford to replace them now. I'm about one size away from them now and when i get below that size I will keep them till they no longer look good and then will pass them on to others in need(local charties). And I agree w/ jonibug that was where I was, used to be but no more. I AM going to wear them for a short time.
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BekahLW
Member
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Posted: 27 February 2008 07:10 pm |
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| Oh my gosh, this all sounds just like me. I won't get rid of anything unless I am least 2 sizes too big for it. My best friend has 3 kids and wears 5s and 7s so (me with no kids, just a fat ***) I give her my too-small, too-cute for words clothes. Its very frustrating. Some of my faves are still hanging in the closet though, awaiting my return someday...
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 27 February 2008 10:39 pm |
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I no longer fit into the jeans in the picture in my post, above.
They were so lose I washed them and dried them so I could wear them to lunch today. They are kinda okay... still a little big. But they shrunk in length, too... really too short now.
So I'm back to the jeans in my closet I couldn't fit into anymore after losing 14 pounds in the current challenge.
Yea!
Peter
BTW, I figured out a way to wash and dry jeans I don't want to shrink. Obviously, you just let them dry in the air. But then they are so stiff and hard!
To soften them up so they are comfortable, after they dry I put them in the dryer for a few minutes just on air (not hot) and they soften right up!
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kakki
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 February 2008 12:52 pm |
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| Good idea Peter, I'll remember that for when I get a pair. I just bought new pants and some for christmas that are already too big; i wear them and keep pulling them up. I know I know, I'm not cheap, but am a single mom and can't afford to go out and buy clothes all the time for my changing size. Though my aunt is quite disgusted w/ my shirts; says they are too big. But then everytime I see her I'm wearing one of my pre-lifestyle change shirts so they are like 2-3 sizes bigger than I wear now. And to be honest I feel more comfortable in them; I still haven't adjusted to wearing the smaller shirts yet. Pants no problem w/ but shirts still not so great on. I would still rather wear the shirts that are too big then the ones that fit. I know little weird but...
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 28 February 2008 06:01 pm |
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Frugal, not cheap.
Peter
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kakki
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 February 2008 08:37 pm |
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| Thanks Peter!!!
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jenny85
New Member
| Joined: | 26 October 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 39 |
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Posted: 6 March 2008 06:58 pm |
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This is the reason I have no clothes that really fit me! I REFUSE to buy clothes that are my size. Infact, I don't even want to know what my size is. My whole closet is full of my pre-baby clothes. I look like #%@&! everyday because of it!
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kakki
Senior Member
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Posted: 10 March 2008 01:29 pm |
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| i have two tote boxes full my pre-maternity clothes, mind you I was still heavy but I have decided my second or third(who knows) goal is to get into them again. I have a question. But if the pre-baby clothes your wearing now make you feel that you like $%)*&&, why refuse to buy a few items a little larger? If you refuse to know what size you are, to buy clothes and really want to have a healthier life and eat right, lose weight; how are you going to have a starting point. Someplace to look back at and go I'm never going there again.
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Melissa
Member
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Posted: 27 March 2008 03:36 pm |
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Oh my gosh! I can so relate to this! Right now, I cannot wear nearly 90% of the clothing that I own! I broke down about a year ago and bought clothes that actually fit or were tighter, because I was doing a weight loss plan and thought I would lose weight. Low and behold, I gained about 20 more pounds and cant wear any of those 'new' clothes. So now, my wardrobe is limited to the same pants and shorts that I swap and rotate--I refuse to buy any new clothes until I can fit into the older ones!! Its so frustrating! At least, it works as motivation for me. I really want to be alble to wear all my old shirts and pants and dresses--and especially the dozens of suits that I used to be able to wear to work!
Last edited on 27 March 2008 03:37 pm by Melissa
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 27 March 2008 04:30 pm |
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Melissa,
That's my story! Only I'm on the winning side now... just about to toss my bigger jeans (scroll up for picture) and get the smaller ones out of the closet.
Once I was driving to a mall with a friend and he asked, "Peter, how come every time we go shopping you look like you are going to the dentist?"
I got a good laugh out of that, but it's so true!
When I started with the weight loss challenges a few months ago I promissed myself I'd buy at least one new piece of clothing every month. I finally made it half way through a mall yesterday, and bought a tank top. I just don't enjoy the process anymore.
Peter
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Melissa
Member
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Posted: 27 March 2008 04:41 pm |
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Peter,
Thats a great idea for a challenge.
Sometimes, my situation cracks me up. I love to take pictures of family and friends and all of our get togethers. If I am not careful, I am wearing the same exact outfit in every photo, no matter the situation! At least, my husband wont lose me in a crowd! lol
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 27 March 2008 05:05 pm |
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I'm such a homebody, I hardly need much of a selection like most people. When I worked, I was careful to have a big selection and rotate around. But now...
Still, I figure the poor people that see me daily at the gym... give 'em a break!
And I'm sure my kids don't care much, but I'm still wearing flannel shirts I bought when I moved to the Northwest 12 years ago.
I'm so frugal, and LOVE wearing old, soft clothing. But just for others... and those family pictures... that's why I'd like to FORCE myself to buy at least one thing a month. But I never make it happen.
I know this must be hard to read for all those who love to shop, but don't have the money. But believe me, even if I bought an item a month that wouldn't be a very big clothing budget for the year.
About the challenge... intersting. And to make it really meaningful, the challenge should require that you buy a piece of clothing THAT FITS YOU AT THE TIME every month!
Peter
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OzScotty
Member
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Posted: 2 April 2008 03:03 am |
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I do this all the time. I find it really difficult to get clothes that fit me well, because i am fat but also pretty short. Anything that is big enough for me is invariably too long for me (goes for both bottoms and tops). So there is always a temptation to go for something a bit smaller because it means it won't be as long, especially given i will soon be much smaller myself!
I remember going shopping for clothes with my Dad when i was in my teens. I wanted a couple of pairs of jeans. The only ones that really fit me properly were a big and baggy style, which i did not want. I was planning to be smaller in the near future anyway, so i ended up going for ones that I did like but were actually too small. This was risky, because i knew Dad wouldn't be happy if I ended up never wearing the two pairs of jeans he bought for me. The jeans helped act as motivation for me, and before long they did fit me perfectly, and i was getting plenty of use out of them. I now wonder if this experience is part of the reason i have so many clothes that don't fit me, because it underpins the belief i always seem to muster when shooping for clothes that not only will i soon fit into smaller clothes, but that the smaller clothes will act as motivation and therefore help me lose weight.
For years now i have had a lot of paranoia about people noticing that i wear the same clothes too often, because I have so few clothes that i feel comfortable wearing. To stop this happening, i have been more willing of late to get clothes that actually fit me NOW. The problem is, because my shape is not catered for very well, it is very difficult to find clothes that i think look good on me. A few weeks ago i went with a friend to a 'big and tall' menswear store, thinking that i would be better catered for there. The store was more expensive than what i normally spend on clothes, but i was more than happy to spend extra money if it meant finding clothes that i could happily wear immediately. Eventually i managed to find two shirts that I liked, one a bit too small (the next biggest size was too big), and one that just fit. I bought them, and wore one out to dinner that night. Since then i have put on a little bit of weight though, and so neither shirt has been worn since the day i bought them. So my big attempt at breaking this habit resulted in the same story as usual. It's okay though, they'll fit me soon. 
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Peter
Founder, caloriesperhour.com
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Posted: 16 April 2008 05:43 pm |
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Peter wrote: I was just reading the updates to this topic and got the idea to post back and show a New Years picture of me in my "fat jeans"!
Remember, I'm not putting myself down. This is progress that I was able to buy a bigger size and be comfortable. They are loose and my stomach is hanging forward.
Still, I'm joining the New Year New You Challenge and plan to get back into my smaller jeans... which of course I kept!
Peter
I had trouble finding this topic, then a  came on... of course, it's in the Eating Disorders forum!
Well, the jeans I bought so I'd be comfortable for Christmastime are far too big now, literally falling down. So I'm back into my old jeans.
I've been thinking... should I keep by bigger jeans in case I need them in the future? After all, I've always had a stack of jeans I couldn't fit into because they were too small.
I decided no. They are going. If I put weight on again, I'll just have to go buy another pair.
Fair well fat jeans!
Peter
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