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tourproven
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 22 November 2009 12:59 am |
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There is a serious lack of communication going on around here. I'd appreciate that everybody who sees this post to respond with something to contribute:
While watching the Biggest Loser again tonight (the Michelle season), I realized something as all the contestants had their makeovers done. They were looking back on themselves at the beginning before the weight loss and were amazed at themselves and asking how could they have lived that way for so long? I feel the same way. I am a great person who feels like I am treated differently because of my looks. I feel intimidated to talk to people in public. I feel not worthy to talk to girls. I feel like they couldn't possibly want to talk to me. I honestly had grown to hate myself also. Hence, I started to do something about it.
I am currently absolutely determined to reach all of my goals and even go beyond on my current weight loss journey. I can't help but think about why am I so determined now? Why did I live the majority of the last 8 years overweight? Where does the willpower to change myself come from? If I could bottle it up and sell it, I'd be super-rich. My only answer to my current willpower (as I head towards 199 lbs for the first time in a while) is that it only comes from focussing on my goal. Not just thinking about it, but believing that it is possible. Actually living it, in my head. I can feel walking around at the grocery store and women noticing me. Others looking at me, thinking that they want to be my friend. Other people even wishing they were me. I yearn so greatly for acceptance and prestige that everything else gets shut out. Food doesn't taste as good as it used to. I don't stop at every drive-thru fast food joint on my path anymore (for the exception of buying a treat for my dog). Why is it, that I had to grow to completely despise myself before I was willing to do something about it? Why don't I have willpower all the time?
What are the reasons for you to be here on this site? Why do you have to lose weight? Where does your willpower come from? Lets open up, get this out in the open, and figure this all out!
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 22 November 2009 09:02 am |
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I started off with a vague feeling of disatisfaction, wishing to be slim again and under control. Joining this forum to be accountable to others came hand in hand with a new commitment to do something about it.
I picked up tools and extra motivation along the way (hypnotherapy, Tom Venuto style goal affirmations, Fuhrman-style understanding of why healthy eating is important, counselling, 12 steps - understanding that I am powerless)
I think both the Tom Venuto style goal making and the hypnotherapy audio CD have something in common - NLP neuro-linguistic programming i.e. reprogramming your brain, that seems to be what you're talking about here with reference to yourself
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tourproven
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 November 2009 02:01 am |
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Well Nir- looks like you are the chosen one. 52 others looked at this post and had no response or anything to say. Which leads me to ask (what the h*ll are these people doing on a forum-if not to speak?)
Your feelings of vague disatisfaction, was more like feelings of utter contempt and despise for me. Thats what it took to kick my self in the butt and get going. 12 steps sounds like an AA course. I guess food is not much different.
I was hoping for people to speak about why they are overweight, what they've discovered about themselves, and what it took for them to realize they had to do something about it? Geezuz,...something. This is like pulling teeth.
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Hellrazor
New Member
| Joined: | 6 July 2008 |
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| Posts: | 872 |
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Posted: 23 November 2009 12:34 pm |
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I got tired of being grumpy dad on the couch. After the knee surgery's eveything I did I ended up a in pain so I lost motivation to want to do anything. Chronic Pain will take down the strongest person. I struggled with this for sometime and finally my wife said " Hey I'm joining the gym would you like to". So I started going and found little change after 3 months of going. Then I found my bible with Sylvester Stallone's book SLY MOVES. I had friends laugh at me for reading it and I said " Hey if it helps then why laugh". I started seeing huge improvement quickly. My will power went 2 to 9 in a matter of about a month. I then found this board and was happy I did. I could share things that helped me and also get advice on things I didn't know about. The more the weight came off the stronger I became ! I was still having major pain but I knew I could do this. My ortho doc and Physical Therapist told me I did what most chronic pain people don't do. Everyone has will power and determination . You just have to dig real deep on some to find it
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 November 2009 07:11 pm |
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Well for me it wasn't so much hating myself. Although I didn't like the way I looked. But, I didn't hate myself either. It's not about looks for me. It was the way I felt physically. I couldn't get up and walk across the room without getting out of breath. I hated not being able to be physical. I was fat and lazy. They went hand in hand for me.
Now, that I am getting older it's more about being healthy and happy. So, I try to keep it all under control without making myself miserable in the process.
I have to say also that I don't think will power comes from despising yourself otherwise you would never change. I think the will power comes from wanting more for yourself,
which really means that you do think you deserve it or you wouldn't even try. So, I think will power comes from loving yourself enough to change and be different.
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tourproven
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 November 2009 08:16 pm |
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cportwine wrote: I have to say also that I don't think will power comes from despising yourself otherwise you would never change. I think the will power comes from wanting more for yourself, which really means that you do think you deserve it or you wouldn't even try. So, I think will power comes from loving yourself enough to change and be different.
I like that---well said. I tend to agree. I like myself in my future's eyes, and starting to in my current ones, but I certainly did not like myself some 32 lbs ago. The fat and lazy bit was one of the biggest reasons I did hate myself. Winded from simply going up one flight of stairs, etc... I felt too big for my own clothes, which is a horrible feeling (especially when the clothes are already huge...XXL shirts and 40" pants). The looks and feelings of rejection simply go hand-in-hand with the whole fat-lazy persona.
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