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VegaObscura
New Member
| Joined: | 22 September 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 337 |
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Posted: 12 October 2009 01:46 pm |
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| People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!! DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest). Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor. DAY TWO Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch: Eat a half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon. DAY THREE Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair. Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible. FINAL DAY Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it. Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.
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sqzee
New Member
| Joined: | 22 January 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 392 |
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Posted: 12 October 2009 02:32 pm |
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| You are the kind of guy who needs his own tv show.
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Tontus
Senior Member
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Posted: 12 October 2009 07:21 pm |
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| I'd watch it.
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tourproven
Member
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Posted: 12 October 2009 11:37 pm |
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and I thought I had too much time on my hands!
You forgot to add Play-doh to the snack list. If that stuff is even half as good as it smells...
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 October 2009 07:32 pm |
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tourproven wrote: and I thought I had too much time on my hands!
You forgot to add Play-doh to the snack list. If that stuff is even half as good as it smells...
Depends on if you make it yourself or buy it...
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 October 2009 07:34 pm |
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Vega makes a good point. Children are not overweight until we teach them bad habits that make them overweight.
Everybody is born to know when they are hungry. If we would just stick to that then we would never get overweight to begin with.
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 October 2009 06:16 am |
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| Is there a fee to start this program?
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diyah
New Member
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Posted: 23 October 2009 01:47 am |
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wow ... that's a healthy diet should start from childhood, huh? Is not a child is usually loss of appetite? Parents will be very happy if their children want to eat anything, as long as he wants more to eat.
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Jodice
New Member
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Posted: 27 October 2009 09:32 pm |
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OMG i just laughed so hard I started to cry... Oh boy, that was great 
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