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Xenobia4
New Member
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Posted: 3 December 2008 05:02 pm |
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I'm 18 and almost at 5'9, but not quite. I'm 194 lbs, but yet I'm fit if that makes sense.
I can jog 1.5 miles without stopping, do military style push-ups and sit-ups, I have a dance class that's 3 days a week and it's all cardio for 90 min - 2 hrs. My friend and I are always outside hiking in the woods or biking. Between all of that and suba diving, I'm a very avtive person. I even watch my calorie intake and don't eat above 1600!
The problem? Why am I still so much overweight? I can't seem to lose weight at all.
I'm not sure if I screwed up my body or not by doing a load of crash diets back in junior high and high school.
I went on the 'Girls Meet Beauty' plan for 3 months when I was 206 and that's when I got down to my current weight. Ever since then I've watched my calorie intake and whatnot. Well, that was over a year ago.
Why is it I can't lose weight? Less I starve myself I'm out of options.
Can someone help me out, please?
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 3 December 2008 06:33 pm |
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| So what do you eat? Maybe that's the problem. I thought I was eating the right way, and I was wrong....Can you post a pic? Maybe you're not really fat....sounds like you are muscular.
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 December 2008 02:22 am |
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| What's the "girls meet beauty" plan? It sounds interesting.
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fruitloop
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 December 2008 04:22 am |
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| Estimated calorie requirements 2600, estimated intake 1600, but still not losing weight. Sometimes people in this situation find they start to lose weight if they actually increase their intake. I don't exactly know why this works, though there are a few theories. You could try maybe 2000 calories a day for a month or so, and see what happens.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 4 December 2008 03:49 pm |
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Maybe it's the kinds of foods you are eating rather than calorie intake. It doesn't matter how low my calories are for a day, if I eat a bunch of carbs, I gain weight.
I know others on here, have certain issues with certain foods. So, maybe it's something in your diet that is perventing you from losing.
I would also, do the calculators on here, see what they say.
I am guessing that your metabolism is messed up from the crash diets, but I am not sure how you would fix that.
Maybe someone else on here, will have a better answer for you.
Good Luck! 
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VegaObscura
New Member
| Joined: | 22 September 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 335 |
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Posted: 6 December 2008 12:41 am |
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cportwine wrote:
I would also, do the calculators on here
Cindy, you drive me crazy sometimes.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 December 2008 04:42 am |
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LOL... I know, I need to take an english course or something.... but my fingers move faster than my mind does, and that is probably a good thing.....
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 December 2008 01:45 pm |
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 , of course you have to pay for it....
I am thinking it would be simpler just to diet and exercise....
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StuckSara
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 December 2008 06:00 pm |
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Haha, cport... I've noticed that with your writing. It's funny and kinda cute. The thing that helps me is I think talk out what I'm writing in my head. I put comas (sp?) only at the pauses in my speech. Hope that helps.
Sorry to abduct your thread xenobia
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 December 2008 06:14 pm |
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| lol, well I must pause allot when I talk cause I got commas everywhere.....
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
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| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 9 December 2008 10:37 pm |
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cportwine wrote: Maybe it's the kinds of foods you are eating rather than calorie intake. It doesn't matter how low my calories are for a day, if I eat a bunch of carbs, I gain weight.
I know others on here, have certain issues with certain foods. So, maybe it's something in your diet that is perventing you from losing.
I would also, do the calculators on here, see what they say.
I am guessing that your metabolism is messed up from the crash diets, but I am not sure how you would fix that.
Maybe someone else on here, will have a better answer for you.
Good Luck!
With all due respect what you are saying is bogus. A calorie is a calorie and there is absolutely no scientific evidence that shows that carbs are any more efficient at causing fat gain than fat or protein.
Another myth is crash dieting can "mess up" metabolic rate. That too is bulloney.
The answer is simple. His TEE Vs TEI is at the correct balance for his body to maintain 194 pounds.
If he is slightly active it takes about 3200 calories to maintain 194 pounds. Add 4 miles of running and we are looking at about 3650.
Contrary to popular belief the BMR variance in like individuals is nearly immeasurable. This fact is backed up by over 100 years of metabolic testing using various methods. The results are always the same.
If you want to sabotage a fat person just fill their heads with a bunch of #%@&! about the physics of weight loss.
You are over eating by about 500 to 600 calories a day. That is pretty easy to do if you are not being vigilante about counting. If you eat good food it is a whole lot easier not to over eat.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 December 2008 03:31 am |
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Wow, aren't we a little bit cocky for being a new comer. You sound very hateful and I don't think everyone works the same, no matter what your stupid test say. So, unless you speak from experience, then you should go else where, cause no one here wants to hear it....
I have lost allot of weight and have continued to keep it off for about four years now. So, if I can help this person I will. But, I don't take kindly to you coming on here and telling me that I am full of BS.
Plus, I am not going to argue the facts about a flipping calorie, cause what works for some people doesn't FLIPPING WORK FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gee, wondering right now, if this isn't the same stupid person that was talking all his #%@&! about being a glutton..
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
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| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 10 December 2008 04:59 am |
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cportwine wrote: Wow, aren't we a little bit cocky for being a new comer. You sound very hateful and I don't think everyone works the same, no matter what your stupid test say. So, unless you speak from experience, then you should go else where, cause no one here wants to hear it....
I have lost allot of weight and have continued to keep it off for about four years now. So, if I can help this person I will. But, I don't take kindly to you coming on here and telling me that I am full of BS.
Plus, I am not going to argue the facts about a flipping calorie, cause what works for some people doesn't FLIPPING WORK FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gee, wondering right now, if this isn't the same stupid person that was talking all his #%@&! about being a glutton..
Actually the laws of physics apply equally to everyone.
I never said you were full of BS even though you are. You handed out some really absurd blather and because I am an expert and you aren't I repectfully corrected your blather with factual reality. Here is what I wrote.
With all due respect what you are saying is bogus. A calorie is a calorie and there is absolutely no scientific evidence that shows that carbs are any more efficient at causing fat gain than fat or protein.
Another myth is crash dieting can "mess up" metabolic rate. That too is bulloney.
The answer is simple. His TEE Vs TEI is at the correct balance for his body to maintain 194 pounds.
If he is slightly active it takes about 3200 calories to maintain 194 pounds. Add 4 miles of running and we are looking at about 3650.
Contrary to popular belief the BMR variance in like individuals is nearly immeasurable. This fact is backed up by over 100 years of metabolic testing using various methods. The results are always the same.
If you want to sabotage a fat person just fill their heads with a bunch of #%@&! about the physics of weight loss.
You are over eating by about 500 to 600 calories a day. That is pretty easy to do if you are not being vigilante about counting. If you eat good food it is a whole lot easier not to over eat.
Why are you lying and putting words in my mouth?
I do not want to delve into all your issues here but I do think you are taking things a bit to personally and there is a paranoid flavor to your writing. Maybe you should see about getting your meds adjusted. Oh and... who died and made you boss?
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StuckSara
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 December 2008 05:36 am |
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| I think the reason why this subject is touchy is because there have been several debates about it on this site. Many of the people who have taken your side have been extremely rude. The debates have gotten very heated, so it is easy for people to jump back into that mode.
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
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| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 10 December 2008 06:23 am |
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StuckSara wrote: I think the reason why this subject is touchy is because there have been several debates about it on this site. Many of the people who have taken your side have been extremely rude. The debates have gotten very heated, so it is easy for people to jump back into that mode.
When somebody pokes you you tent to want to poke back. We can disagree without being disagreeable. I got jumped for no good reason. I think cport has some control issues.
I am trying to solve the obesity riddle and the reason for diet failure. I know it is touchy. I try to make it impersonal and non judgmental for the people I counsel. I make sure they understand the mechanics of weight loss and fact from fiction. Then I get them to a place where they can more easily comply with what it takes to change their lifestyle to a healthy, honest and sane one. I have cured people.
There are a lot of myths about weight loss and obesity. There is a reason why most people fail to stay on diets. The difference between me and all the other experts is I know why people fail and I know how to get them to not fail.
I will cure the most intractable over eater here in front of everyone.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 10 December 2008 10:03 am |
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The Converter wrote: We can disagree without being disagreeable.
Please keep that in mind. Yes, there are a lot of diet myths floating around...and yes, if you are so inclined you can respectfully point them out and offer other information...if someone has an opinion you disagree with (and some things are a matter of opinion rather than fact vs. myth) you can also respectfully offer your counter opinion. I understand your message - hopefully you understand that that message is being lost in the delivery. Play nice ....seriously.
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
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| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 10 December 2008 08:03 pm |
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suenos wrote: The Converter wrote: We can disagree without being disagreeable.
Please keep that in mind. Yes, there are a lot of diet myths floating around...and yes, if you are so inclined you can respectfully point them out and offer other information...if someone has an opinion you disagree with (and some things are a matter of opinion rather than fact vs. myth) you can also respectfully offer your counter opinion. I understand your message - hopefully you understand that that message is being lost in the delivery. Play nice....seriously.
My style is quite direct. I rarely mince word and I often use descriptive language. That can create a problem. Fat people, especially fat women tend to be hyper sensitive. It's a defense mechanism that they use to manipulate the people who are trying to help them reform. As a result we begin handling them with kid gloves and indulge them in their delusions about things like metabolic rates. It is quite a balancing act.
I read a study about altruism vs egoism and not surprising it found that fat people were more egoistic and less altruistic that the general population. This may explain why they have higher self esteem than the general population. That higher sense of self that has been reinforced by constant rewards in the forms of tasty food and leisure is why they are so resistant to change and why they take criticism so poorly.
I don't like the concept of self esteem for several reasons. Mainly it is conditional. Also it forces us to make value judgments about ourselves as to why or why not we should are worth anything as humans. Judge not lest ye be judged is much deeper than it sounds. IMO there are no good or bad people for the most part. There are only people who choose to do good or bad things. When it comes to eating and lifestyle, fat people choose to do bad things and they choose to ignore the ramifications of that behavior. Obesity is a very tough not to crack. I wish I could figure out a gentle way to crack that nut but as you well know the diet industry has offered baby talk and patronized fat people simply to get their money. I don't do that. I give it to them straight and it works. Truth is empowering. Self analysis is empowering. Confession is empowering.
My main message to fat people is; It is never a matter of can't and always a matter of won't. I think it is very cruel and dishonest to tell fat people that they can't lose weight and get them to believe that. Everyone of them can lose weight and keep it off but if you indulge their delusions and placate them you are not helping. The need to feel bad about their chronic over eating. They need to know all the bad stuff and they need to come clean about it. They need to have an honest emotional reaction. The mother of the fat child need to feel remorse. I'm sorry but that is how humans are. If our beliefs, emotions, and behaviors remain irrational we have no hope of changing.
Beliefs: Many fat people are delusional about the mechanics of weight loss and the laws of physics. Should we indulge their irrational beliefs?
Emotions: If a spouse tells his fat spouse he or she looks revolting to them the histrionics that will ensue will be irrational. Should the thin spouse apologize for telling the truth?
Behavior: You are obese yet you insist in over eating and buy bigger clothes in spite of the dire consequences. That is irrational! Should pretend it's OK and invent quack theories to explain it?
I will walk on egg shells as per your request.
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fruitloop
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 10 December 2008 09:02 pm |
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Moderators, since you are reading this, please just ban this guy. I know you are probably trying to be fair, but he is just going to get worse and worse, causing more and more hurt and confusion until you do. The quicker you ban him the more dramas you avoid, IMO.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 10 December 2008 10:49 pm |
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fruitloop:
you know what happens when you ban somebody like this - they just create a new screen name and pop up again....and again....and again. Easier said than done but ignoring him is the only thing that will probably work in the long haul - especially because if no one responds to his posts they are sooooo much easier to delete.
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Hellrazor
New Member
| Joined: | 6 July 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 790 |
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Posted: 10 December 2008 10:55 pm |
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easy ban his IP
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 10 December 2008 11:01 pm |
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funny you mention that cause I was about to ask Nir about that (he's got the big ban hammer.....the rest of us mods just have the little delete mallets)....unfortunately I have the feeling that wouldn't be all that effective either in the long run cause there's a way around that one too 
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 12:13 am |
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Yea, I think you can just get a new router or modem. It doesn't take much to change things that way.
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Sylphide
New Member
| Joined: | 1 August 2006 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 184 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 12:32 am |
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If a spouse tells his fat spouse he or she looks revolting to them the histrionics that will ensue will be irrational. Should the thin spouse apologize for telling the truth?
Behavior: You are obese yet you insist in over eating and buy bigger clothes in spite of the dire consequences. That is irrational! Should pretend it's OK and invent quack theories to explain it?
Converter, if you tell your spouse she looks revolting, you're the one being irrational. You should only 'tell the truth' if you're sincerely asked for an honest opinion. Simply volunteering hurtful information serves no purpose at all.
If you think making her feel bad will motivate her to lose weight, then you're probably mistaken. A typical person with food issues turns to food to comfort themselves when they feel bad. Make her feel happy and she might actually decide, on her own, to eat less and exercise more.
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 10:58 am |
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| Geez Converter....you're kind of jerky. Everyone is different. I tend to start putting the weight back on if I eat too many carbs too. Mainly sugar. I LOVE kids cereals and pop tarts and such. Well when I start indulging in those I WILL gain back a few pounds and have to start all over.
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StuckSara
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 12:33 pm |
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When I decided to begin reading these posts tonight I promised myself I would not respond. I told myself no matter how mean and self-righteous Converter acted I would not bite his bait. So, all I'm going to say is how proud of you guys I am for responding so eloquently. You have all handled yourselves so well! You've been patient, sympathetic, open minded, and all together fair. I am a little disappointed in myself for getting as upset with his comments as I have after seeing all your responses. Really, I think many people can learn things from what has been said on here. I know I was angry last night, I still posted in what I believed at that time (I am always reforming my beliefs and I take pride in that) but I wish I would have not given into his negative energy... I wish I wouldn't have acted in the exact way I was upset with Converter acting. Anyway, life is all about learning right?!?
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MRH78
New Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 02:05 pm |
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Hummm… Well, I don’t know if anyone else here agrees with me, but I really believe apology and sincerity The Converter expressed when he (assuming that is He) said the following comment below, left under “New Member Introductions > Dose anyone watch the TV show House?”.
But Suppose it is true that he is as passionate as he says he is about saving lives of people, yet he offers readers to just ignore him when disagreeing with him, there seems to be a contradiction. Obviously, his approach of “helping people” doesn’t seem to be working as most people on this website forum just want to ignore him. His criticism of luck of self control people have also contradicts with how he reacts to criticism he’s gotten from other people. I was very curious about what he has to say, so I looked up his posts. Very interesting in fact. I don’t mean I agree with him 100%, but I’m open for different opinions in general and also am interested in how people behave in certain situations. Human study.
You see, the media plays a big role when it comes to self image et al. Appearance of models and actors sets a new standard every minute. You know what I think? This is strictly my thought, but just like young girls wants to be like Nicole Richie skiny, The Converter here wants to be like Dr. House, disregarding the fact it’s just a character in a TV show… well, from what I see from his posts, that is what I think. Nothing personal. Please don’t bully me. (hahaha) He also talked about ego and al.. A study he mentioned in this particular forum might show bigger women are more egoistic than other demographic population, but surely he's full of ego himself. Well, he might be actually She who is big after all!?!?!?! haha.. Ah!!!! Please don't bully me!!
One of The Converters posts::
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“New Member Introductions > Dose anyone watch the TV show House?”.
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What do you think of Dr House? I know his bedside manner stinks but if I were really sick I'd want him in my corner.
I don't mince words. Obesity is not a game to me. Obesity kills over 400,000 per yer in the US. That is unacceptable to me. Is that unacceptable to you?
The cause of obesity is caloric poisoning. I cure it.
I am not here to make friends. If people don't like me I don't care. It does not effect me at all. I tend not to mince words. I don't lie. I don't like lies. I don't want anyone to feel good about caloric poisoning and the behaviors that lead to it. Gluttony is a form of substance abuse. There is a big difference. Illegal drug use does not kill many people. Caloric poisoning does.
If what I say I rubs you the wrong way let me apologize in advance. I am passionate about saving lives. I am passionate about stopping the obesity epidemic. I know that some of the stuff I say hurts people's feelings but sometimes the truth hurts. BUT I think a few hurt feelings are worth a lifetime of good health and longevity. If you agree read my stuff and keep that in mind. If you don't agree then just consider me a bully and an idiot and ignore me.
I can't say how many people here will die from obesity but I bet many of you have a loved one who will. I firmly believe the stuff I know can prevent that. Do I stigmatize gluttony and obesity? You bet I do. I do because it works to prevent it and I have proof it does. That is not all I do but I do want you to find your behavior unacceptable just as you find your fat bodies unacceptable. This does not mean you should think you are bad people. If you thought that then you would eat yourselves to death. None of you are bad people. You just have a problem with food and lifestyle. Most people do.
Please accept my apology if what I have said has harmed you in any way. I know I #%@&! some of you off but being #%@&! off is not always a bad thing.
I want you all to know that everyone here is capable of changing their lives for the better. None of you are powerless over food. Most of you are relatively sane. Some of you over eat by 500 calories others over eat by more. It really is that simple. All of you can be fit and lean. Don't ever believe for a moment you can't.
Last edited on 11 December 2008 02:11 pm by MRH78
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 02:09 pm |
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Hellrazor wrote: easy ban his IP
No don't ban him. He has some good points, but he just needs to find a better way to say it!
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Hellrazor
New Member
| Joined: | 6 July 2008 |
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| Posts: | 790 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 03:05 pm |
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See he doesn't care if he hurts someone feelings which is a kind of person we don't need around here. He will never re-word how he says things so why not get rid of him
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willpower
Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 03:47 pm |
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Well he is rather harsh and upfront, but all in all he really is telling the truth. For myself, when someone aggravates me or challenges me, my determination is only that much stronger. I am overweight due to my own actions, and for me that was the first step that i had to admit to. YES, I still cry when my feelings get hurt, and i don't wish for any ones feelings to be disregarded on this forum. I am trying to get healthy and it is hard, very hard.
I take his advice as a kinda tough love so to speak. (please don't get upset with me) He doesn't always say what he needs to say in the right manner, but he also admits to that, and speaking of the Doctor on House, that is hitting the nail on the head.
I have been having this pity party for myself for many years, but my table has only been set for one. I don't know why, or what changed my attitude, but a light bulb finally went off in my head and said "Do something about it, you are in control of your own destiny"! It is a matter of willpower and self control, the ability to eat it or not, It is up to me, I only have to make the right choice.
One example....I work with someone that is on CRACK, He has been to re-hab twice and still continues his behavior, I use to be compassionate of his problem, but not now. Now i just point blank address him as crackhead! I belittle him every chance i get, he may not want to hear it, but he needs to hit bottom to get back up. He is a friend of mine, and i am worried about him, but i don't help him with his addiction. TOUGH LOVE.
For me, i guess you could say food is an addiction. I have been called fat, and yes it hurt my feelings, made me feel bad, and #%@&! me off. But the truth is, i am overweight and i will stay that way unless i choose to make better choices about food and exercise.
This weight didn't happen overnight and it is not going to leave me overnight. I know how hard it is and i am here for support for myself and others, but i also know there is that little voice in our heads that tells us, at least some of what he is saying is the truth.
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 04:03 pm |
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| Sometimes we need to have our feelings hurt. One of the things that got me motivated was being laughed at openly because my hips were so huge compared to the rest of my body. There is a lot of truth in what he says. I think we ought to give him a break. He means well. Unlike the last unpopular guy....ya know the Fat Spouse dude....now he was just being hateful....and was really weird!
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Hellrazor
New Member
| Joined: | 6 July 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 790 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 04:43 pm |
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Sorry but telling someone to abort a child because they might be over weight is not in anyway nice. You tell me how he meant to be well with that statement
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willpower
Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 04:52 pm |
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I did not see where he wrote that. Did it get deleted? No, he should not have said that, I agree.
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 05:02 pm |
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| Oh I must've missed that one too! Yikes! What a terrible thing to suggest. I don't know one fat person who had problems with pregnancy, yet I can think of 3 thin ones who had terrible problems.
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Hellrazor
New Member
| Joined: | 6 July 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 790 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 05:32 pm |
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Well here is the thread but he edited his posts but you can tell by my responses that he said it
http://www.caloriesperhour.com/forums/forum19/7733.html
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 05:55 pm |
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Hellrazor wrote: Well here is the thread but he edited his posts but you can tell by my responses that he said it
http://www.caloriesperhour.com/forums/forum19/7733.html
I seen it and so did fruitloop, before the edit.
I thought maybe one of the moderators might of done it...
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Hellrazor
New Member
| Joined: | 6 July 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 790 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 07:22 pm |
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Also look at the time it was edited couple hrs after my responses. Funny how tough guy isn't around now. He is only here to stir the pot no other reason
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StuckSara
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 07:42 pm |
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I bet he'll come back around soon... they always do.
My problem isn't all in what he says... they're just his opinions. My problem with Converter is that he is so freakin arrogant! He said something in another post that completely displayed this... I forget the exact wording but it was something like- I know this subject better than anyone alive. What?!? Who would say that. All his post come off as if he actually believes that.
You know what, it will probably work well FOR HIM in the long run though. I even want to buy his book... I'll probably want to tear it apart, pee on it, then light it on fire afterward, but he'll still get the check!
I do think a lot of the things he has to say are very logical. Good scientists will ignore their emotions while studying something. Also, I think trying to be too logical can bring up a major problem too- you forget the human element and thats HUGE when you're studying humans.
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triquetal
New Member
| Joined: | 8 December 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 14 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 07:43 pm |
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In general, to the average person - a calorie is a calorie is a calorie. If you do not create a calorie deficit, you are sunk no matter what.
However, in the case of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and diabetes, carbs vs protein matters, low-glycemic vs high-glycemic matters, because the body cannot handle sugars correctly. And yes, proteins get turned into glucacon for energy eventually too, however, this happens much more slowly for proteins than for carbohydrates (especially for refined carbohydrates), causing insulin to be released over time rather than in abundance for a one shot deal.
As for dropping caloric intake not having an effect on metabolism, there are scholarly studies out there ( and not only ones done in the United States), showing experiments that it does. This does not mean that some people might still not benefit from a very low calorie diet, when they are under a doctor's supervision. Everything in life is risk-reward. It simply means that the body reacts to what you are doing to it, which is nothing new.
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 07:49 pm |
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Sylphide wrote: If a spouse tells his fat spouse he or she looks revolting to them the histrionics that will ensue will be irrational. Should the thin spouse apologize for telling the truth?
Behavior: You are obese yet you insist in over eating and buy bigger clothes in spite of the dire consequences. That is irrational! Should pretend it's OK and invent quack theories to explain it?
Converter, if you tell your spouse she looks revolting, you're the one being irrational. You should only 'tell the truth' if you're sincerely asked for an honest opinion. Simply volunteering hurtful information serves no purpose at all.
If you think making her feel bad will motivate her to lose weight, then you're probably mistaken. A typical person with food issues turns to food to comfort themselves when they feel bad. Make her feel happy and she might actually decide, on her own, to eat less and exercise more.
Revolting may have been a poor choice of words but the people I counsel often use much stringer language when describing the their obese spouses. It may surprise you to know that women are the most honest about expressing their feeling and men are much more eager to want to fix the problem and be supportive. I tend to agree with the women's approach. If a man can get an erection for his fat spouse then I suppose he is really good a fantasizing or she is not turning him off. I can post some comment made by women I have counseled who describe the experience in ways that would make you weep because it sounds like rape.
Food issues is a misnomer. Fat people do not have food issues. Heck, they love food a whole lot. They have self control issues and we can see it in this thread. If I really am the idiot and bully that some of you seem to think I am why then are you dignifying anything I have said with a comment?
Richard Simmons is a really nice guy but he is ineffective. Fat people do not need a cheerleader. They do not need a "support system". They do not need what I call other motivation. They need honest no matter how unpopular it may be. They need inner motivation. They need to make a commitment to change. The bottom line is they need to promise themselves to always eat the correct amount of calories and then do it. IT is that simple.
This site offers some great tools so that there will misunderstanding about the mechanics of weight loss. What bugs me is there are so many threads say stuff like, "I don't know why I am not losing weight." They know #%@&! well why they are "not losing weight". I am calling people on it and they don't like it. Folks two thirds of Americans are fat or obese and there is no mystery as to why. That being the case, it is high time that people start being honest and I am not just talking about fat people. In Canada if you are too fat to fit in one airplane seat the airline is now required to give the fat passenger a second seat?! That is outrageous.
In the US over over 700 million dollars get paid in social security benefits every month to people who are simply too fat to work.
400,000 Americans will die this year from obesity.
The economic costs of obesity is staggering.
Childhood obesity is skyrocketing......AND YOU ARE ALL #%@&! OFF BECAUSE YOU THINK I AM PICKING ON FAT PEOPLE!?????? Give me a break!
You people are killing yourselves with your lifestyle and your excuses and I am trying to show you how to stop and you are getting angry. Nobody is forcing any of you to read this or respond to it. The same thing that makes you respond is the same thing that makes you buy the Cool Ranch Doritos, sour cream dip and the Little Debbie snack cakes. I can show you how to develop self-control but you are so wrapped up in your phony moral out rage that you simple can't drop your guards long enough.
The fact of the matter is, statistically speaking, 98% of you will fail. You may do a bit better here on CPH. My guess is 8% of the people who some here to lose weight do. That is a huge improvement over the other sites and programs.
CPH, when it comes to diet mechanics, is cutting edge, and common sense. The only problem here is it does not offer behavioral help. However; if it did it would be very unpopular. I suppose as it stands now CPH is the most effective weight loss site given the reality of today's human nature.
The title of this thread "Can't Ever Seem to Lose Weight" it the kind of talk that sabotages weight loss attempts. It shouts "OOOOOOOOOO what's the mystery? Why does my body defy the undfiable laws of physics?" It's a classic example of the blind leading a herd of lemmings and the inmates running the asylum.
I could make every single one of you lose weight. I would lock you all in cells and feed you the correct amount of food and like clockwork you would all lose weight in accordance with the law of conservation of mass.
I will be happy to help anyone of you. If you haved a problem with me personally take to PM and we can discuss it there. In the meantime get past the hurt feelings and start facing reality. It is never a matter of can't for any of you. It is ALWAYS a matter of won't. You need to accept that. This is not meant to judge you or your character. That is not uo to me and I am not qualified to judge any of you. All I can do in comment on your behavior and if you don't like what I point out and begin seeing yourselves in an unfavorable light I would suggest that you focus you energies and anger on what you ma see as flaws and leave this messenger alone.
I am not here to support anyone. I am not a cherrleader. I'm a coach.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 07:55 pm |
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He could of simply offered his advise to the person without attacking me. So, I guess I could care less what happens to the converter.
Must be pretty smart to know it all.
The sad thing is the person that started the post probably isn't even on here anymore. Probably thinks were all nuts...
Which is to bad, because this is a great web-site with lots of useful information and wonderful people.
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fruitloop
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 07:59 pm |
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He has many good points, but he is very quick to launch personal attacks. This has always been a friendly and supportive site, and I would hate to see that change. What I have seen on other sites is that if you let the abrasive ones speak their piece, all the more gentle souls stop posting and leave, because they are not comfortable with the atmosphere any more. Not everyone minds, but some do. I don't mind hearing what he has to say, but not if it means losing 50% of other posters.
I deleted my post in the thread Cportwine [edit: sorry, it was Hellrazor] links to, because Suenos said it was easier to delete his posts if they weren't replied to. But he did indeed say it. Those edits are mod edits. You can see on my post that I edited, it says edited by: fruitloop, on his posts it says edited by: . If he had done it himself his name would be there.
Last edited on 11 December 2008 09:59 pm by fruitloop
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 08:30 pm |
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fruitloop wrote: He has many good points, but he is very quick to launch personal attacks. This has always been a friendly and supportive site, and I would hate to see that change. What I have seen on other sites is that if you let the abrasive ones speak their piece, all the more gentle souls stop posting and leave, because they are not comfortable with the atmosphere any more. Not everyone minds, but some do. I don't mind hearing what he has to say, but not if it means losing 50% of other posters.
I deleted my post in the thread Cportwine links to, because Suenos said it was easier to delete his posts if they weren't replied to. But he did indeed say it. Those edits are mod edits. You can see on my post that I edited, it says edited by: fruitloop, on his posts it says edited by: . If he had done it himself his name would be there.
Your right Fruitloop, cause ever since he has gotten here, allot of people have stopped posting. Yea, I would probably agree with some of what he says, But, that's hard to do when your mad. So, I choose to do the eye roll thing and ignore, lol.
I wondered what was going on, all the post seem kind of weird now.
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fruitloop
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 December 2008 09:57 pm |
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CPH, when it comes to diet mechanics, is cutting edge, and common sense. The only problem here is it does not offer behavioral help. However; if it did it would be very unpopular. I suppose as it stands now CPH is the most effective weight loss site given the reality of today's human nature.
So why are you trying to turn CPH into an unpopular site? If people don't come here because they are afraid of getting flamed, they won't have access to all the tools and knowledge that is available here.
I could make every single one of you lose weight. I would lock you all in cells and feed you the correct amount of food and like clockwork you would all lose weight in accordance with the law of conservation of mass.
That's exactly the point. This is the internet and you can't do that. People will just walk away if they don't like what you are saying. If you actually want to help people, then you need to give them something they will listen to, and that they can work with.
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
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| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 11 December 2008 11:54 pm |
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fruitloop wrote: CPH, when it comes to diet mechanics, is cutting edge, and common sense. The only problem here is it does not offer behavioral help. However; if it did it would be very unpopular. I suppose as it stands now CPH is the most effective weight loss site given the reality of today's human nature.
So why are you trying to turn CPH into an unpopular site? If people don't come here because they are afraid of getting flamed, they won't have access to all the tools and knowledge that is available here.
I could make every single one of you lose weight. I would lock you all in cells and feed you the correct amount of food and like clockwork you would all lose weight in accordance with the law of conservation of mass.
That's exactly the point. This is the internet and you can't do that. People will just walk away if they don't like what you are saying. If you actually want to help people, then you need to give them something they will listen to, and that they can work with.
Let's establish a few things here. You are fat right? I am not. That fact alone is fairly indicative that I know what I am talking about and you don't.
Me making CPH unpopular? I must be very powerful if I, one person can do that given the fact that there are many other members who say the stuff you want to hear. You are like the kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Me thinks thou protest too much.
People are walking away? Not true. They are gretting the panties in a bunch and making arguments that only prove my points.
One thing is very obvious. None of the Converter bashers will explain why they won't eat the correct amount of calories for their age, height, and gender. I will prove that and by proving that I will prove that the people basing me are less than honest.
HERE WE GO....... To all the fat people here: Why is it that you are unwilling to eat the correct amount of calories for your age, height and gender?
I am not expecting to get an honest answer. Most of you do not even know what the correct amount is in spite of the fact that this site offers a metabolic calculator.
The fact is if a woman eats 2000 calories a day the most weight she can maintain is about 140 pounds. If a man eats 2500 a day the most weight he can maintain is 160 pounds. Now you don't even have to go though the effort of plugging in the numbers.
Now you have now excuses. If you are fat it is because you are unwilling to eat less and move more. If you think you are fooling anyone, think again. We all know the score.
Last edited on 11 December 2008 11:57 pm by The Converter
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 12 December 2008 12:03 am |
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DaniMae1 wrote: Sometimes we need to have our feelings hurt. One of the things that got me motivated was being laughed at openly because my hips were so huge compared to the rest of my body. There is a lot of truth in what he says. I think we ought to give him a break. He means well. Unlike the last unpopular guy....ya know the Fat Spouse dude....now he was just being hateful....and was really weird!
Thank you for saying that. Most fat people know they are not paragons of beauty so pointing that out is not always helpful but the stigma associated with obesity is motivating for some people. I prefer to see them come up with altruistic reasons such as family and being a good citizen.
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 12 December 2008 12:04 am |
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cportwine wrote: fruitloop wrote: He has many good points, but he is very quick to launch personal attacks. This has always been a friendly and supportive site, and I would hate to see that change. What I have seen on other sites is that if you let the abrasive ones speak their piece, all the more gentle souls stop posting and leave, because they are not comfortable with the atmosphere any more. Not everyone minds, but some do. I don't mind hearing what he has to say, but not if it means losing 50% of other posters.
I deleted my post in the thread Cportwine links to, because Suenos said it was easier to delete his posts if they weren't replied to. But he did indeed say it. Those edits are mod edits. You can see on my post that I edited, it says edited by: fruitloop, on his posts it says edited by: . If he had done it himself his name would be there.
Your right Fruitloop, cause ever since he has gotten here, allot of people have stopped posting. Yea, I would probably agree with some of what he says, But, that's hard to do when your mad. So, I choose to do the eye roll thing and ignore, lol.
I wondered what was going on, all the post seem kind of weird now.
Maybe they are thinking.
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fruitloop
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 December 2008 12:15 am |
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I am not fat. I am normal weight and have been for the past 2 years (I am 5'9", 155lbs). Many people here are not overweight, such Cportwine, Suenos, Nir and Peter, and others. They are all people who have lost weight, and kept it off for years. Your post is based on incorrect assumptions.
Anyway, you said to Suenos you agree to "walk on eggshells" as you call it, so I will drop it. My apologies for harassing you for something you've already decided to change.
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 December 2008 02:33 am |
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The Converter wrote: cportwine wrote: fruitloop wrote: He has many good points, but he is very quick to launch personal attacks. This has always been a friendly and supportive site, and I would hate to see that change. What I have seen on other sites is that if you let the abrasive ones speak their piece, all the more gentle souls stop posting and leave, because they are not comfortable with the atmosphere any more. Not everyone minds, but some do. I don't mind hearing what he has to say, but not if it means losing 50% of other posters.
I deleted my post in the thread Cportwine links to, because Suenos said it was easier to delete his posts if they weren't replied to. But he did indeed say it. Those edits are mod edits. You can see on my post that I edited, it says edited by: fruitloop, on his posts it says edited by: . If he had done it himself his name would be there.
Your right Fruitloop, cause ever since he has gotten here, allot of people have stopped posting. Yea, I would probably agree with some of what he says, But, that's hard to do when your mad. So, I choose to do the eye roll thing and ignore, lol.
I wondered what was going on, all the post seem kind of weird now.
Maybe they are thinking.
You know what, you can't help people by being an a.s.s.
and you can't help people by proclaiming that you know all, even if you do. (which I might add, you don't')
But, I don't even think you want to help people, or you would be out doing that, instead of wasting your time on here arguing with us.
Pretty plain to see that you just want to cause trouble, where it is unwanted...
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 December 2008 03:26 am |
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fruitloop wrote: I am not fat. I am normal weight and have been for the past 2 years (I am 5'9", 155lbs). Many people here are not overweight, such Cportwine, Suenos, Nir and Peter, and others. They are all people who have lost weight, and kept it off for years. Your post is based on incorrect assumptions.
Anyway, you said to Suenos you agree to "walk on eggshells" as you call it, so I will drop it. My apologies for harassing you for something you've already decided to change.
124lbs average...thank you very much, as I take a bow... 
I can say, Nir would put me to shame, he is the most disciplined person I know... you rock Nir... 
Fruitloop, your wasting your time on empty ears...... lol.... but, I got to say, I love your passion... OH yea, you forgot Victor! He has accomplished so much..
As all of us have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last edited on 12 December 2008 03:27 am by cportwine
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The Converter
Restricted Member
| Joined: | 9 December 2008 |
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| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 12 December 2008 04:30 am |
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of all the people on this site how many have taken off weight and kept it off? Does any one have a percentage?
You listed 5 people. That is not very many.
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