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cportwine
Member
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Posted: 9 May 2008 06:27 pm |
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I was just wondering how losing weight has changed your relationship with your spouse.
Mine hasn't change allot, but there are little things that have changed. He is allot more jealous than he use to be. He is even jealous of my treadmill, lol. Also, not sure how to explain this one. He acts like I don't have a brain anymore. Like I lost some of it along with my weight.
But overall, nothing major has come up for us.
Also, was wondering if your spouses are supportive while you are trying to lose weight?
Mine was and still is, but he is also the first one to ask me if I want some icecream. He also thinks that I deprive him by not cooking hardly ever anymore.
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femme
New Member
| Joined: | 7 May 2008 |
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| Posts: | 33 |
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Posted: 9 May 2008 09:57 pm |
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My guy is very supportive of my desire to lose weight and get fit- because he also shares the same desire, and he wants me to be happy with my body. He is a very supportive person in general, no matter what endeavor I undertake.
I find that if a spouse is truly concerned with your overall happiness, then he or she will understand that you need to take some time for yourself and not be jealous when you decide to workout instead of spending time with him. Another thought - perhaps you two could workout together (or do some activities like tennis or swimming, which are both excellent workouts). Perhaps your spouse is jealous because he is noticing the extra attention you are getting from others, and he may feel threatened by the thoughts that you may leave him for someone better looking - most men that have this fear (which is displayed by their jealousy) stems from their own insecurities, whether physical or emotional.
Based on your post, it seems to me that your weight loss is not the reason that he is jealous, but rather, it may be due to any of these factors:
(1) For the first time in your relationship, perhaps you are the more attractive one, and he feels insecure or below par,
(2) He is jealous of the new attention you are receiving, attention that you may not have had before, or perhaps not to this extent,
(3) He could be co-dependent and/or have a fear or abandonment, and will get jealous when you choose to spend time alone or with others instead of spending time with him,
(4) He prefers the "Traditional" relationship, where the woman spends her time at home cooking, cleaning and caring for her man, and her only priority should be her man (her appearance should only be kept up for purposes of pleasing him)...
I will not make any assumptions about your relationship, but these are general behaviors that I have observed with other couples.
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cportwine
Member
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Posted: 11 May 2008 04:38 am |
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Wow, I wasn't really looking for advise on this one. My husband is very supportive, and even though we have had some issues along the way, we are still going strong.
The whole reason for the post was to see if anyone else has went through this kind of thing.
I just wanted to hear if anyone else has issues with their relationships in regards to losing weight.
That's all the post was about, not if my husband has issues. Cause, god only knows that he does, lol.
But, hey that's what make us a stronger couple.... 
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dogs2son1
New Member
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Posted: 11 May 2008 08:28 pm |
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So my husband thinks Im depriving him to. Mostly because I dont buy Soda, and high in fat and sugar snack foods.
I have had some trouble with him in the support to. Its not that hes not supporting me because he does its just the way he supports me. Like today I finally fit into what I call my skinny shirts and felt good in it, I made a comment about how I felt but instead of just agreeing and telling me that Im doing a good job he comes back with the comment think about how youll look when you loose more. I know this is how he supports but I want him to recognize how I look now not how Im going to look. Now Im not feeling good about the weight loss I have had Im now focused more on the pounds I need to loose. Does this make sense? Am I being ridiculous?
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kalypso
Member
| Joined: | 3 March 2008 |
| Location: | Eh?, Canada |
| Posts: | 186 |
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Posted: 12 May 2008 10:42 am |
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I don't currently have a spouse or boyfriend, but it was my last boyfriend that actually got me going to the gym for the first time a couple of years ago. He's actually more dedicated to losing weight and body biulding than I am, so he was a great motivator! He actually my best friend as well so I still hang out with him - yesterday we went out together and he ended up buying this big calorie-filled sundae and I flat out rejected one! I'm so proud of myself for saying no, and I could tell he was impressed with my self control. I think it does definitely help when you have someone who can support you along the way... even if it's not a spouse, but a friend or even a weight loss buddy 
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cportwine
Member
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Posted: 13 May 2008 09:22 pm |
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When I first started, I didn't talk about it to anyone, even him. He knew, I just didn't talk about it. But, it didn't take long for him to notice what I was doing. It also didn't take long for him to figure out that I was keeping track on the calendar in the bathroom. So, he would always make comments on it. Sometimes I really needed those comments and other times, I wanted to punch him in the face, lol.
But, I guess that's all about support. Having someone to lean on and hate at the same time, lol.
I always hated it when he would try to get me to eat things I shouldn't or make me sit at a table full of food that I couldn't eat. He's a big believer in the "family table" thing. But, sometimes I could not sit there and watch them eat pizza while I had my salad. So, he learned and I learned...... It was hard and still is sometimes.
Now, are problem is manly the walking, cause he wants me to do things with him. But, I need to do it and he could go with me or something. But, on the days I am not walking he is to busy, so???? what the heck, it works both ways.
AAAGGHHH-men!
Sorry, didn't mean to sound so critical, but had to get it off my chest. I suppose we will figure out some solution to our problem.
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Beth
Senior Member
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Posted: 14 May 2008 12:35 pm |
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Don't feel so bad Cport. Every time my big toe aches, my hubby says he thinks it's the way I'm eating. Now, I'm down to fruit, veggies, and meat. Sounds really unhealthy, doesn't it? I buy and cook our food, so hubby is eating more healthy and losing weight, too. However, he'd just as soon go to the hamburger or pizza joint to eat. He surely is paying more attention to me since I've lost weight!
Men are strange creatures, aren't they? I told my hubby one time that I just didn't understand men. He said men just don't understand women, either. I am especially intrigued when I have a business dealing with a man because I can't grasp what they really mean from a conversation. I've always liked to take my hubby along so he could interpret for me. Seems like men talk around in circles and never come back to a clear conclusion. Two men understand exactly what they mean from their series of grunts, stares, shufflings, and musings. It's a mystery to me. If you figure men out, please let me know.
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christyandmuddy
New Member
| Joined: | 5 May 2008 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 95 |
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Posted: 14 May 2008 01:35 pm |
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My boyfriend complained today that he doesn't get to order pizza anymore. I guess he thinks that because I don't want to eat it that he can't order it for himself. But I suppose it is nice that he doesn't order it because I think it would be awfully hard not to take a slice.
He has actually started exercising with me lately. It's all because he realized he was getting a tummy too and he's always been very thin. He is such a couch potato but lately he's been playing tennis and taking walks with me. That helps a whole bunch because it helps me stick to exercising. It made me really happy the other day when he told me he could tell that I had lost some weight. That's always a sweet compliment to hear!
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