| Author | Post |
|---|
nila2288
New Member
| Joined: | 28 December 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1 |
|
Posted: 28 December 2007 05:13 pm |
|
| Hiya, i have a bmi of 25, i know its in the healthy range, but im still really quite big for my likeing, im 5ft 1 and 9 and a half stone. would love to lose another stone-16 pounds. was just wondering if there was anyone else who is/was in the same boat as me, and hopw easy is it to lose weight when you are not overweight? look forward to hearing from you
|
Tratra
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 28 December 2007 05:45 pm |
|
| Did I convert correctly...5'1 and 152 pounds? Cause that would be a BMI of 28.
|
Nir
Senior Administrator
|
Posted: 28 December 2007 09:20 pm |
|
a stone is 14 pounds, so that's 133 pounds. Anyhow the BMI calculator on this site accepts inputs in any units, including stone.
And to answer your question, my BMI is around 19.5-19.8 and I'm still trying to lose a pound, kind-of - and there are certainly others around here.
|
Tratra
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 28 December 2007 10:42 pm |
|
| Ok...was confused because she said "would love to lose another stone-16 pounds". But anyhow, lots of people on here are in the healthy range and hoping to lose a few...it's all a matter of personal preference and how comfortable you are with yourself. I have a BMI of 21.2 and would like to lose about 5 pounds.
|
clarinetgurl
Moderator
|
Posted: 29 December 2007 04:22 am |
|
I don't remember my exact BMI...I should go calculate it again...but I do remember it was in the "normal" range, and yes, I am still looking to lose about fifteen pounds.
CG
|
ktqt
New Member
| Joined: | 3 May 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 18 |
|
Posted: 3 January 2008 06:06 pm |
|
I am at what most people would consider a normal BMI (5'3'', 128lbs, BMI=22.7) and I am trying to lose weight. I want to lower my body fat % which my scale tells me is about 26ish %. I figure thats about 10 pounds or so.
It is so hard to lose weight when you don't have much to lose! I find myself excercising a lot, but slowly its coming off.
Good to know there is someone else out there in a similar situation.
|
zenobia
Moderator
|
Posted: 3 January 2008 07:01 pm |
|
oh yeah, i am there. just trying to get fully comfortable with my body. i am very normal weight, but still trying to rid myself of some stubborn fat.
you are so not alone!
and yes, it is extrememly difficult!!!! i have been trying for ages now! it's weird because at this weight, i am relatively comfortable, which gives me "justification" to exercise some unhealthy haits. you know, it's like you htink "hey, i'm pretty alrgith, i can eat those chicken strips and fries"... but really, it is only hurting and making it tougher to get where you want to be. it's a strange place to be in, mentally, as well as physically. your not expecting perfection, but you want to go a bit further that where you are at. it really is an odd state sometimes...
good luck to you!
Last edited on 3 January 2008 07:05 pm by zenobia
|
JennB
New Member
| Joined: | 2 January 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 27 |
|
Posted: 3 January 2008 07:16 pm |
|
I'm in the same boat - I'd like to lose about 10 lbs, which I've been "liking to lose" for over a year now. I exercise for awhile, I don't exercise for awhile, I exercise for awhile...you see the path. Anyway, glad to know there are others out there who are the ones that others "hate because you're skinny and you keep saying you want to lose weight!"....does that ring a bell with anyone else?
well good luck to all of you skinnybutflabby ones....
|
zenobia
Moderator
|
Posted: 3 January 2008 07:21 pm |
|
JennB wrote:
well good luck to all of you skinnybutflabby ones....
and that is PRECISELY the word!!!!
|
ktqt
New Member
| Joined: | 3 May 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 18 |
|
Posted: 4 January 2008 12:37 am |
|
My roommate gives me the whole 'i hate you because you only have 10 lbs to lose' speech. She is also trying to lose weight, but she has about 60 or so lbs. People will encourage her to work out, eat healthy; but me, they tell me I'm obsessing or I am being unrealistic about my expectations. Whats the difference? We are both trying to achieve our weight goals and improve our health, but for some reason she almost sees it as a slap in the face that I am trying to slim down.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. But JennB I know what you mean about excercising and then not. The weight comes off so slow sometimes I just give up and think 'whats the point?!'. Hopefully I can make some permanent changes this year.
|
midlife
Senior Member
|
Posted: 4 January 2008 11:17 am |
|
I hear ya nila, Im JUST inside the healthy for my height range (worked out from the calculator at 24.9 and a shorty as well) and I couple more kgs will be good.
It is hard when you know what you are comfortable with and (family usually) say, oh but you are fine like you are.* Maybe to their eyes, but I don't like those 'bra bags' or whatever they call them under the back of my bra straps thanks!! And I think when you are shorter you carry the extra differently. I may wrong, but I reckon taller people can 'get away' with an extra pound or two - correct me if Im just suffering from 'height envy' 
* My mum said this when I was 8kgs heavier than I am now and she has since lost 7kgs due to having diabetes and changing her diet...now she is commenting how my brother needs to eat better and lose weight..I guess you are never too old to change your habits! Funny thing is my bro says to me, 'gee Mum's lost a lot of weight' I bite my tongue Sorry to digress.
|
muchachadeldiva
New Member
|
Posted: 4 January 2008 12:14 pm |
|
hey 
im in the same boat, i always find it rather decouraging when someone who is in the overweigh BMI range starts experiencing losses of 4lb per week or so!
its much more difficult to lose weigh when your not stricly 'overweight'. Your body clings to its fat stores, and its very difficult not top launch yourself into full scale starvation to get results!
feels like im close, but not quite there. im looking to lose about 6-8lb. im 9st 8ish and a size 8-10 (uk), and im looking to get down to a nice even 9st and size 8 clothes, and to get rid of the awful 'muffin top'! 
anyway, keep in touch, it would be great to know how your going about losing the last few pounds!
x
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 4 January 2008 02:57 pm |
|
Well, I have to "chime in" on this topic as I have quite a strong opinion on it.
In my opinion, "Most" people are far too "OBSESSED" with their "weight". Weight is not and should not be an end in and of itself. Weight is just a "measure" of mass (hence the term BMI) I think many would be wise to read the forums here on anorexia and bulemia.
HEALTH (both physical and mental) are the important things, and "weight" is just one of MANY measures for determining physical health. In my opinion SIZE & body fat% are the better indicators.
I know others will not agree, but I firmly believe that most human beings can NOT detect a difference of 3-5 lbs on any other person. Some would argue..."well, I know when I am 2 lbs overweight because my favorite jeans are tighter!" I would argue that that could be water retention, or a recent big meal, and you could in fact weigh EXACTLY the same as you did 3 days prior. I know for a fact that a person's weight can change +/- 5 lbs during the course of the day.
Again, I reiterate,
- if you are eating healthy,
- Counting your calorie, protien, & fat intake
- exersizing consistently,
- having regular physicals and blood chemisrty tests with your Dr.
- & your body fat % is in a healthy range.....
DON'T WORRY ABOUT 5-7 POUNDS!
Victor
|
abnormalapathy
Senior Member
|
Posted: 4 January 2008 05:23 pm |
|
muchachadeldiva wrote: hey
im in the same boat, i always find it rather decouraging when someone who is in the overweigh BMI range starts experiencing losses of 4lb per week or so!
its much more difficult to lose weigh when your not stricly 'overweight'. Your body clings to its fat stores, and its very difficult not top launch yourself into full scale starvation to get results!
But the flip side of the coin could be that people who are heavier tire of hearing people who are so close to their goals complaining about the lack of perfection in their bodies. I agree that there is a lot more encouragement for heavy people to lose weight and that many people who are thin are relentlessly picked on (I've never been thin, but I have picked on my thin cousins, and I have thin friends who complain about even strangers stopping them on the street to tell them they're too thin). But by the same token, it's discouraging for me (note, I'm not saying all fat people!) to hear already-thin people complain about their near-perfect figures. Some people may never be happy with their bodies, regardless of how much weight they loose and that's probably when it's crossed the line into an unhealthy obsession.
And of course as I'm saying this, I have plenty of fingers pointed right back at myself. I'm the first to admit that my view isn't the healthiest. My only point at all is that maybe you've never considered how a fat person feels when they hear you complaining about 10 pounds.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 4 January 2008 07:38 pm |
|
abnormalapathy wrote:
But the flip side of the coin could be that people who are heavier tire of hearing people who are so close to their goals complaining about the lack of perfection in their bodies. ........ it's discouraging for me .....to hear already-thin people complain about their near-perfect figures. ...
.....Some people may never be happy with their bodies, regardless of how much weight they loose and that's probably when it's crossed the line into an unhealthy obsession.
DING! We have a winner!
Victor
|
kessington07
New Member
| Joined: | 4 January 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
|
Posted: 4 January 2008 09:40 pm |
|
Remember, muscle weighs more than fat! BMI doesn't take this into consideration.
A girl at a gym I used to attend was 170 lbs but a size 4! She is about 5ft. 8in.
When I added strength training to my routine I really noticed the changes! I was shrinking but the number on the scale didn't reflect it. Yet, I now fit into a size 4 at 135 lbs.
|
midlife
Senior Member
|
Posted: 5 January 2008 12:12 am |
|
That's it!! Its all those weights I have been doing at the gym!! Doesnt explain the tighter skirts....
Victor you are right and while we can 'obsess' I think for me its a 'warning' not to let it all creep back on, despite my calorie counting and exercise...
|
StuckSara
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 7 January 2008 07:10 pm |
|
I understand everyone's opinion on here. I have a little to add though. I used to be overweight and then I shrunk down to a BMI of 135 (I know many people think watching weight isn't a good indicator, but it is the simplest and I believe is pretty good). I was truly happy at that weight and loved my body... I wasn't afraid to wear anything! It was wonderful. Then I gained weight over last semester (turned 21= BEER and really busy= FAST FOOD) and now weigh 150. Although I'm still at a "normal" weight, it just doesn't feel right for me and in fact I was happier with my body when I was overweight than I am now.
So, although I understand it can get irritating when someone who is overweight hears someone complaining about those last ten pounds, the person that has only 10 pounds to lose can be just as unhappy about their body as the overweight person. Although it may not be right, isn't it all about how we feel about ourselves? Even though others have told me they can't see the weight gain I still feel and see it and I think what I see is most important. I don't think Although some people think I'm being too critical and I should check out the anorexic and bullemic forums, those forums are for people who always think they're fat, no matter what, and as I said I found the weight where I felt perfect, I just want to get back there.
|
abnormalapathy
Senior Member
|
Posted: 7 January 2008 08:22 pm |
|
| My point wasn't about people who want to and are actively pursuing weight loss to drop those last 10-15 pounds so they'll be at their most comfortable weight. I was talking about people who obsess over those "last 10 pounds" in front of people who have far more than 10 pounds to lose and act like if they don't lose it, it's the end of the world.
|
StuckSara
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 7 January 2008 11:23 pm |
|
| I know, I understand that. And I know it's insensitive to talk about it infront of someone who has more to lose. My point was that they are probably feeling similar to how you are about yourself so they don't even realize they're being insensitive or obsessive. Does that make more sense? Maybe I'm not explaining it right, or maybe it's hard to understand if you haven't been in both positions.
|
suenos
Moderator
|
Posted: 8 January 2008 07:30 am |
|
When I was nearly 200lbs (I'm only 5'2), I thought anyone who weighed 140lbs (don't know why that was the cuttoff number) or less was "thin" and it irritated me when they complained about their weight or said they were "fat". And anybody in the 120's - forget about it - in my mind they had no "weight related complaint" rights AT ALL. It was like "if you think you're 'fat' at that weight, what does that say about me at my weight?" Hearing one of my thinner friends say how unattractive she felt at her "normal" weight could ruin my self-image for the whole day. But, when I finally got to 140lbs, I had a radically different perspective. Because I was (for my height and frame) still overweight, and still had as much desire to continue losing weight as I had when I was much heavier. And yea, even in the 120's I wanted to drop a few more pounds - which again, given my height & frame was reasonable. But, although I guess it was, I didn't even think about whether it was insensitive or not when I moaned and groaned about "being too fat" around larger sized friends - because that's exactly how I still saw myself.
I'm not sure, but I think there's a difference between someone who has never really been overweight but constantly complains about thier needing to lose 5-10 lbs and someone who has formerly been really overweight, but is struggling with the last 5-10 lbs. Not saying that one is more "deserving" of support than the other, but just that it's not the same thing...it sounds odd unless you've been there, and it might be more true of women than men, but I honestly think that there's a period where the mind is still catching up with the body after a significant weight loss and those last few pounds (which are pretty much invisible to everyone else) really do look like a huge, important amount to the indivdual.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 8 January 2008 11:49 am |
|
This topic deserves its own thread, as it is an "emotional" and subjective topic, that I believe we all have a "viewpoint on.
Given the fact that 66% of the American public is "overweight" and 30% are "Obese", that means that this topic affects 6 out of every 10 Americans you will speak to, and most likely 3 out of 10 will be on the "you skinny people are obsessing" side of this topic.
What I am trying to say is that most likely HALF of the people you meet in the USA will be emotionally affected by this topic.
No answers, just a perspective.
Victor
|
StuckSara
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 8 January 2008 11:45 pm |
|
| Thanks Suenos... I think you explained it better than I did. I'm curious, did you also notice a change in perspective on how you saw your friends as well? I remember looking at some of my friends and thinking they were sooo skinny and now that I'm smaller, I see them as being at just a normal weight- not skinny or fat. Did you notice this too?
|
YoYoDietGirl
New Member
| Joined: | 13 August 2007 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 77 |
|
Posted: 9 January 2008 01:20 pm |
|
I agree with stucksara in that maybe people with a "normal" bmi don't necessarily think of it as being insensitive when they are talking about there weight in front of heavier people because they feel the same way as the person who is heavy. I admit that I have talked about my weight and dieting in front of some of my heavier friends and maybe felt a little guilty afterwards. However, it is hard not to talk about it when it is constantly on your mind. I don't care if you are 250 pounds and want to lose weight or 125 pounds and want to lose weight, everyone has the right to want to feel comfortable in their own skin. Myself, I have a small frame, so I look and feel a lot better at 120 or lower. I still have the same struggles as heavier people dieting when it comes to food and getting off the couch, so why is it wrong for me to talk about it with them??
And those who said that your perspective is a bit different when you are heavier are right! I have been heavier too. In my late teens I gained a lot of weight and was probably around 160, and also when I was pregnant at my highest point I was around 190-195. People who were average size looked so skinny, where as now they look average sized to me.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 9 January 2008 04:16 pm |
|
While all of us share the same needs and desires..I ask the question:
Would it be insensitive for a a "super model" who would like to get a "little bit" shaved off her nose in a cosmetic procedure, talk about this subjective "need" in the presense of a person with a severe craniofacial deformity who "needs" complete facial reconstruction?
I believe so. All I am saying is let's be sensitive to the feelings of others.
Victor
Last edited on 9 January 2008 04:17 pm by Victor version 4.0
|
YoYoDietGirl
New Member
| Joined: | 13 August 2007 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 77 |
|
Posted: 9 January 2008 04:50 pm |
|
Victor-
Yes, I would consider that to be insensitive. However, I dont feel that is an equal comparison. Weight can be controlled, where as you cannot control what your face looks like. Being overweight does not have to be a permanent thing.
I do not want to offend anyone by saying this, and believe me I know firsthand that it is difficult to lose weight, however I consider being overweight or having a few extra pounds on you a personal choice. A person chooses how they eat and how active they are, and thus controls how much they weigh.
Plus, a lot of times for myself when I do announce that I am trying to lose weight in front of people (some of which are heavier than myself) the whole conversation gets started when a friend makes a comment about what I order at a restaurant or if I am not eating cake etc.
At least with heavier people, people want to motivate you to do it, instead of acting like you are a crazed lunatic because you ordered a salad.
|
suenos
Moderator
|
Posted: 10 January 2008 07:11 am |
|
Victor, because you started out 400ish lbs, I think your radar may be just a little finer tuned to the effects of even unintended weight related insensitivity. (btw, I think this is a good thing) In some ways we, as a society, do treat people of a certain size as though their weight is a type of deformity - if we are rude we stare, if we are "polite" we look away...either way we react in a way that is bound to make the person feel somehow "less" and uncomfortable just for "being".......
I've never been more than 70ish pounds overweight but I know how dozens of seemingly innocent things said/done by "thin" people could make me feel pretty bad about myself - like a bunch of friends leafing through a swimwear catalog and going "oh this would look great on you" to each other with no one ever pointing to something that would look "great" on me (childish I know, but still painful 3 years later).
It's just a tough kinda thing though...walking a thin line to balance not making others who weigh more feel badly about their weight, but still wanting/needing validation/support on your own efforts to lose when you are not as heavy.
|
zenobia
Moderator
|
Posted: 10 January 2008 05:57 pm |
|
yes, i am one of those "thin" people that desires to lose a bit more fat. though i do agree that it may be insensitive to comment about wanting to lose weight in front of heavier people, i also agree with suenos when she stated "walking a thin line to balance not making others who weigh more feel badly about their weight, but still wanting/needing validation/support on your own efforts to lose when you are not as heavy". we still want desire and support. for me, to drop those last "5-7 pounds" is not only a thing about being comfortable in my own skin, but it is also proof to myself that i am in control of my actions. i have a tendency to binge. i have a tendancy to drink too much. once these are cut back or cut out, i know i will not only lose that bit of fat, but also show myself that i can control these habits.
i have issues with food. i haven't conqured everything yet, but i am working on it. i'm going through a tough time right now and i guess you could say i am using weightloss as a motivator to get back into control.
so please, understand that there are many other issues underlying those measly last "5-7 pounds" before attributing it to pure vanity or a desire for "perfection", or even plain insensitivity.
like you said, let's be sensitive to the feelings of others.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 10 January 2008 06:43 pm |
|
zenobia wrote: ......so please, understand that there are many other issues underlying those measly last "5-7 pounds" before attributing it to pure vanity or a desire for "perfection", or even plain insensitivity....
What I was actually trying to say is that that last 5-7 lbs could actually be 1-2 lbs of "fat in combination with "typical" daily weight variation of 4-5 lbs making it look like there is more to lose than there actually is. In my opinion to "whine" about losing 1-2 lbs is indeed pure vanity or a desire for "perfection" .
Or am I the only person who often sees 4-7 lbs variation in my mass from day to day?
Victor
|
zenobia
Moderator
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 04:16 am |
|
victor-
actually, i only weigh myself in the morning, so i do not know how much my weight fluctuates durring the day. i know that it would increase, so i know that i wouldn't get a true reading, therefore, to me, it is pointless to weigh myself before going to bed. the most i usually fluctuate is about 2-3lbs. this will happen when i had a heavy meal the night before, or drank so i am dehydrated.
i consistantly weight between 119-121, when i am not catively trying to lose weight or am eating normally. i know what is actual fat and what is water weight.
but, i thought the issue here was not really 1 or 2 lbs. it's a person who is in the "normal" range and wants to get lower.
like i said, it is not "pure vanity" - there are other issues surrounding it. it's more about overcoming addictions (cumpulsive bingeing, etc...). it is more about psychological and emotional issues than it is about "those last few lbs". I have worked very hard to get where i am at- when i first starting dealing with my weight, i was 160. i have learned a bit of self control, but the strugle didn't suddenly end when i hit 120. it's something i deal with on a daily, heck, even an hourly basis. i am still working on some problems- the issues didn't drop off when i lost weight, they may have increased in some aspects, and i am learning to deal with it-- yes, learning, as in i am still in the process.
i never expected to have that "perfect" body. i am built how i am built and i work with it. i have very real expectations of myself. i could get more personal here, but there are some things i just don't talk about to anyone. i don't consider, when i takl about dropping some fat, that i am "whining" just because i am already in the normal range. i do not assume that other people like me, or even smaller, ar "whining" because i don't know their whole story. it perhaspe may be vanity for them, or maybe they have other issues that they are trying to overcome. who am i to judge?
|
Doug
New Member
| Joined: | 9 September 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 49 |
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 11:02 am |
|
I went from 280 to 170 over an 18 month period about 7 years ago.
I weigh myself first thing every morning and find it normal for my weight to bounce around a few pounds from day to day. My all time record was a 9 pound gain in 24 hours.
When I first started losing weight I had to lose 40 pounds before anyone noticed but I am a middle aged man that wears comfortable (loose but not baggy) clothes. Like most men I do not have "fat" pants or "skinny" pants, I just have pants. I think women get obsessed with a few pounds because fashion dictates they wear clothes so tight that the slightest change in their weight becomes very noticeable.
|
abnormalapathy
Senior Member
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 12:35 pm |
|
YoYoDietGirl wrote: I do not want to offend anyone by saying this, and believe me I know firsthand that it is difficult to lose weight, however I consider being overweight or having a few extra pounds on you a personal choice. A person chooses how they eat and how active they are, and thus controls how much they weigh.
That would be great logic if the only thing contributing to one's weight were what they put in their mouth and whether or not they exercised. Unfortunately that's just not the case. There are plenty of illnesses and medications out there that cause weight gain and make losing it extra difficult for those who suffer from it. For instance, my mother had diabetes and cancer. She was already heavy beforehand, but the Tomoxifin she was on made her gain at least an additional 70 pounds which she couldn't take off, even on a doctor-recommended shake based plan. The only thing that worked for her was gastric bypass.
I have PCOS and insulin resistance, which affects my hormone levels, which affect my stress levels, which affect how my body reacts to certain foods. I can react completely differently to a banana or other fruit depending on the time of day I eat it and what I eat it with.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 12:41 pm |
|
YoYoDietGirl wrote: .....At least with heavier people, people want to motivate you to do it, .....
Trust me, you couldn't be MORE WRONG! Until you have LIVED it, you have NO IDEA. In fact almost EVERYONE I know tried to sabotage my lifestyle changes at one point or another...Not through evil intent, but through "enabling"!"Go ahead, have some ice cream, you've been soooo goood." "WHAT, your only ordering a salad? We just walked for 4 hours! Go ahead and order a cheeseburger.", etc. etc. etc.
Can you all tell how emotional this topic is??? Victor
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 12:57 pm |
|
zenobia wrote: ....but, i thought the issue here was not really 1 or 2 lbs. it's a person who is in the "normal" range and wants to get lower......
.... there are other issues surrounding it. it's more about overcoming addictions (cumpulsive bingeing, etc...). it is more about psychological and emotional issues than it is about "those last few lbs". ....... ...the issues didn't drop off when i lost weight, they may have increased in some aspects, and i am learning to deal with it-- yes, learning, as in i am still in the process......
Zen,
Yes, this thread did get "hijacked".You hit on some real "nuggets of truth here".
I believe the "ROOT" issue here is "SELF-IMAGE" not 1, 5, or 7 lbs. This is an emotional discussion about being happy (or unhappy) with one's self.
I am deeply saddened and pained by what I perceive all around me of people who are striving and suffering to acheive some some "subjective" (and unattainable) "perfection". Many seem to have acheived "peace" with themselves over this issue, but I would argue that many more have NOT!
For me, the important things that pertain to this whole subject are:
- Do what it takes to be HEALTHY, (not entirely in one's own control)
- Deal with your issues in order to be HAPPY,
- Be SENSITIVE to the issues of others,
- HELP others to acheive 1 & 2.
Victor
|
abnormalapathy
Senior Member
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 06:07 pm |
|
Victor version 4.0 wrote: YoYoDietGirl wrote: .....At least with heavier people, people want to motivate you to do it, .....
Trust me, you couldn't be MORE WRONG! Until you have LIVED it, you have NO IDEA. In fact almost EVERYONE I know tried to sabotage my lifestyle changes at one point or another...Not through evil intent, but through "enabling"!
I have experienced the same thing. Now my family says things like "Here, you're skinny now, you can have a few cookies" while they shove them in my face. Meanwhile I'm neither skinny nor should I be having a few cookies because I still have sensitivity to carbs and sugar.
|
StuckSara
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 09:26 pm |
|
Victor version 4.0 wrote: I am deeply saddened and pained by what I perceive all around me of people who are striving and suffering to acheive some some "subjective" (and unattainable) "perfection". Many seem to have acheived "peace" with themselves over this issue, but I would argue that many more have NOT!
For me, the important things that pertain to this whole subject are:
- Do what it takes to be HEALTHY, (not entirely in one's own control)
- Deal with your issues in order to be HAPPY,
- Be SENSITIVE to the issues of others,
- HELP others to acheive 1 & 2.
Victor
Not everyone who is a normal weight who still want to lose some is striving for perfection. I have and will always have a wider waist with narrow hips that only make my waist look wider, no matter how much weight I lose. I will never be "perfect" in my mind. I still want to lose some weight though because I feel much more comfortable a certain weight than I do right now. So, like you said, deal with your issues in order to be HAPPY. I know my issue, it's 15 extra pounds I don't want, so losing it would be dealing with it. I think the point many of us on here were trying to make is that the desire to lose weight in normal-sized people often feels like the exact same desire to lose weight in overweight people. Why are we not allowed to get the same kind of support an overweight person would want? I support my overweight friends and I want them to be happy, so why can't they want the same for me. One day when they're down to a healthy weight and still want to lose some weight they'll understand.
|
zenobia
Moderator
|
Posted: 11 January 2008 10:09 pm |
|
Victor version 4.0 wrote: zenobia wrote: ....but, i thought the issue here was not really 1 or 2 lbs. it's a person who is in the "normal" range and wants to get lower......
.... there are other issues surrounding it. it's more about overcoming addictions (cumpulsive bingeing, etc...). it is more about psychological and emotional issues than it is about "those last few lbs". ....... ...the issues didn't drop off when i lost weight, they may have increased in some aspects, and i am learning to deal with it-- yes, learning, as in i am still in the process......
Zen,
Yes, this thread did get "hijacked".You hit on some real "nuggets of truth here".
I believe the "ROOT" issue here is "SELF-IMAGE" not 1, 5, or 7 lbs. This is an emotional discussion about being happy (or unhappy) with one's self.
I am deeply saddened and pained by what I perceive all around me of people who are striving and suffering to acheive some some "subjective" (and unattainable) "perfection". Many seem to have acheived "peace" with themselves over this issue, but I would argue that many more have NOT!
For me, the important things that pertain to this whole subject are:
- Do what it takes to be HEALTHY, (not entirely in one's own control)
- Deal with your issues in order to be HAPPY,
- Be SENSITIVE to the issues of others,
- HELP others to acheive 1 & 2.
Victor
the root of my issue(s) comes down to controling bad habits. if self image has anything to do with it, it is about not being in completele control, in doing things that I KNOW are not good for me but contnuing in those actions and then always followed by that inevitable regret. i am tired of regretting my poor choices. i am tired of having regrets bout NOT doing something. i am the type that truely revels in balance. i need it. i am out of balance right now and i know my choices are contributing to this imbalance.
i am be in a n"normal" range, but i don't always consider myself healthy.
these are contributing to my imbalance, which does not make me happy.
i try extremely hard to be sensitive to others, almost to a point of fault at times (trying to see all sides of an issue, consider all possible feelings and perceptions can really make one's head spin at times, and makes a person look sort of indecisive and wishywashy.)
and i love to help people be happy, often sacrificing so that they are (but making people happy makes me happy, so maybe it balances out...)
i am happy with myself in some areas. i am not happy in others. i think i look fine, as far as my weight goes. if i had a major issue with my weight, i would work as hard as i did the first time. i also know that it wouldn't take much to send me back up on the scale. of course, i am not "perfect" and never will be. but i am striving to overcome particular issues. if i am "suffering" for any reason, it's because i am having a very difficult time getting over these other issues.
like stucksara mentioned, why should we not get just as much support as we give? i want support to stop binging, to cut back on my drinking, to work out more, to truely get healthy. to find that balance. that is what i truely want.
oh, and i wanted to mention as well, like victor and abby said, people constantly try to sabotage my efforts. i have worked very hard.. do not tell me "it's all right to eat that piece of cake because you are skinny!" i didn't get skinny eating cake. i will not stay slender if i eat cake. i got heavy eating cake. do not diss me because i am a certain size. today, this happened. i said something about being sick at work- i have a cold. someone said, "well it's because you are so skinny and you never eat!" like #%@&! i don't! i love food. i eat all of the time. just because i don't eat burgers and fries everyday, doesn't mean i don't eat. don't knock my hard work. it's like you really can't win. people knock you if you are overweight, then they knock you when you have lost the weight.
that means it has to be all about personal happiness, and it does not matter what other people think of you. they are going to find something to pick on you about anyway.
|
nevd
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 13 January 2008 12:25 pm |
|
I can tell from the previous posts that this is an emotional topic. Some interesting points of view have been expressed, but I want to weigh in (no pun intended) on the side of those who wish to lose 'only' a few pounds.
Unless it tips over into an eating disorder, I can't see why wanting to be an 'ideal' weight would be insensitive. This is a varied forum and there's room for everybody (and everybody's viewpoint) surely?
Or have I missed the point? Aren't we all in it together?
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 13 January 2008 03:10 pm |
|
nevd wrote: ..... but I want to weigh in (no pun intended).....
Heehehehehehehehe!!
|
zenobia
Moderator
|
Posted: 15 January 2008 01:06 am |
|
nevd wrote: Aren't we all in it together?
thank you, Nevd. it means a lot to see that.
heh- and your pun was so very intended!
|
StuckSara
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 15 January 2008 04:31 am |
|
| thanks nevd!
|
Theresa
Senior Member
|
Posted: 15 January 2008 05:55 am |
|
Victor version 4.0 wrote:
All I am saying is let's be sensitive to the feelings of others.
Victor
Hear, hear! I think most people take weight comments very personally and those that are commenting aren't meaning to be personal at all most times.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 19 January 2008 10:50 pm |
|
Aryn wrote:
I know how you feel small fry. Sometimes people can be so ignorant. Something that I noticed is that when I was heavier, skinny people would constantly talk about how fat they were all the time. It really made me feel awkward when I was obviously much larger than anyone else in the group. In one particular incident I was in a car with 3 other girls. I was size 16 and they were all about a size 4 that were talking about being fat and needing to loose weight. Nobody said anything directly about me or my weight and I was just really quiet and didn't say anything. I felt humiliated and just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The funny thing is that now that I have lost some weight I don't ever hear any of those skinny people talking like that. Were they just trying to make me feel bad on purpose?
Another time a close friend (who wore a size 1) was helping me shop for a bathing suit. She picked up this suit that was a size 10 and said, "Oh my God. This is huge. A person would have to be a really fat cow to have to wear a bathing suit this big." A little bit later she said, "This bathing suit would look really good on you. What size did you need?" I just walked off to another rack and pretended like I didn't hear her. There was no way after that comment that I was going to tell her I wore a size 16.
I think that too many people just speak without thinking. When someone says something ignorant like that I just tell myself that I might be fat but at least I get enough calories to allow my brain to function properly.
http://www.caloriesperhour.com/forums/forum25/450.html
V
Last edited on 19 January 2008 10:52 pm by Victor version 4.0
|
zenobia
Moderator
|
Posted: 27 January 2008 03:15 pm |
|
That is really sad that those girls treated ayn that way. i feel sorry for them, and saddened that ayn was put through that. it is very insenstive and it does sound rather intentional and deliberate. they seem to have some issues that they need to wrok through.
i was reading a diary of a girl who was "normal" weight, but still wanted to drop a few lbs and considered joining weight watchers. she was told by a friend that she would be laughed out of the meeting, so the young woman decided to refrain from joining the group because of how she would be treated, due to her weight. no support there... she decided to take it on by herself, but found CPH.
both situations are really unfortunate- nobody should be made to feel like #%@&! because of thier shape.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
|
Posted: 27 January 2008 04:42 pm |
|
zenobia wrote: .......nobody should be made to feel like #%@&! because of thier shape.
EXACTLY!!!
V
|
marionette
New Member
| Joined: | 7 February 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 5 |
|
Posted: 8 February 2008 06:24 pm |
|
DON'T WORRY ABOUT 5-7 POUNDS!
Victor
I disagree. You should worry about 5lbs creeping on, before it becomes 8lbs... then 10lbs... then 15... 25... you get the point. it's a lot easier to deal with being 5lbs up than 30.
|
marionette
New Member
| Joined: | 7 February 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 5 |
|
Posted: 8 February 2008 06:39 pm |
|
suenos wrote: When I was nearly 200lbs (I'm only 5'2), I thought anyone who weighed 140lbs (don't know why that was the cuttoff number) or less was "thin" and it irritated me when they complained about their weight or said they were "fat". And anybody in the 120's - forget about it - in my mind they had no "weight related complaint" rights AT ALL. It was like "if you think you're 'fat' at that weight, what does that say about me at my weight?" Hearing one of my thinner friends say how unattractive she felt at her "normal" weight could ruin my self-image for the whole day. But, when I finally got to 140lbs, I had a radically different perspective. Because I was (for my height and frame) still overweight, and still had as much desire to continue losing weight as I had when I was much heavier. And yea, even in the 120's I wanted to drop a few more pounds - which again, given my height & frame was reasonable. But, although I guess it was, I didn't even think about whether it was insensitive or not when I moaned and groaned about "being too fat" around larger sized friends - because that's exactly how I still saw myself.
I'm not sure, but I think there's a difference between someone who has never really been overweight but constantly complains about thier needing to lose 5-10 lbs and someone who has formerly been really overweight, but is struggling with the last 5-10 lbs. Not saying that one is more "deserving" of support than the other, but just that it's not the same thing...it sounds odd unless you've been there, and it might be more true of women than men, but I honestly think that there's a period where the mind is still catching up with the body after a significant weight loss and those last few pounds (which are pretty much invisible to everyone else) really do look like a huge, important amount to the indivdual.
i agree with everything you said. at 5'2 also i topped out at 240lbs. I've hovered around 135 the last few years, and in the last month i've really pushed and gotten down to 128 (today! i hit the 120s today), my lowest weight since i breezed right by it as i gained more, lol. i found myself in the same habit of perhaps complaining about my body/size around people who are heavier, meaning no disrespect to them, but once i remembered what i was doing i'd shut up. i also used to think i'd be thrilled just to be 140/150lbs, but now i'm striving for 115-120. i don't know if that's realistic, for my body type even though i'm so short; i'm already a 4 (borderline 2) and clothes don't come much smaller.
on the subject, i used to work with a woman absolutely obsessed with her body, weight and working out. she admittedly had a body image/eating disorder. once she was on the phone in the office with someone, saying quite loudly "I don't know how you let yourself blow up to a size 6! i'd KILL myself if i ever became a 6!" i'm talking about a woman in her 50s... i gave her quite a tongue lashing after that. it was just absurd and disrespectful to everyone else around, most of which would kill to be a 6.
|
Victor version 4.0
Senior Member
| Joined: | 10 December 2007 |
| Location: | Wi | |
