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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 April 2008 12:15 am |
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Some jokes to break up the flow:
One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
The Kind Lawyer-
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food." the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall!"
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your
other ear?"
"The jerk called back!"
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 April 2008 12:56 pm |
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A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs.
Joan Welsh
Half the costs of illness are wasted on conditions that could be prevented.
Dr. Joseph Pizzorno
A leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worse when they despise him....But of a good leader who talks little when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say, "We did it ourselves.
Lao Tzu
Leadership is not magnetic personality that can just as well be a glib tongue. It is not "making friends and influencing people"—that is flattery. Leadership is lifting a person's vision to higher sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations.
Peter F. Drucker
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cportwine
Member
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Posted: 30 April 2008 05:46 pm |
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I haven't read all of this, so I hope this hasn't been posted already. But, one of my favorite sayings is :
Can never Did, untill Try came along! I tell this to my kids all the time, lol.
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 12 May 2008 04:48 pm |
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^That's cute. Nice and simple to remember but very effective. Thanks for posting!
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." -Maya Angelou
Last edited on 12 May 2008 04:48 pm by Heavenseventeen
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4ReaLthisTIME
New Member
| Joined: | 14 May 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 15 May 2008 02:33 am |
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wow...i never really thought of this quote as relating to weight loss, but it SO does! this is my all time favorite quote....i always loved it because after i became a single mom and had to work all the time i felt like i was never going to be able to go back to college and accomplish my goals. but i found a way to do it...it's been hard and it's taken awhile...but i'm almost finished......i just realized that it rings true with what i'm dealing with now, too (my weight loss journey)....
"don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in your way of doing it. the time will pass anyway; might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." -earl nightingale
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christyandmuddy
New Member
| Joined: | 5 May 2008 |
| Location: | Florida USA |
| Posts: | 66 |
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Posted: 15 May 2008 05:42 pm |
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Here's one I like:
"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."
-Booker T. Washington
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Hanna
New Member
| Joined: | 17 June 2008 |
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| Posts: | 2 |
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Posted: 17 June 2008 11:15 am |
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I think a man always think right whether he think "he can" or "he can't" 
So a person should think always positive what ever the problems in life...........
I like this one 
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
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